The Fat Friar

by Ssendam the Masked

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Zecora, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 5833

An argument with a brony sends a fat guy dressed as a monk to an anthro Equestria, where he enjoys the good things in life.

What are the good things in life?
Why, good food, good drink, and good company.
Unfortunately, I don't get much of the second, and the third is currently imprisoned in stone. At least the food is good.

I dressed up as a friar for a costume party, then some brony tosser sends me here to anthro horse land by accident.
Now, I'm a villain, but at least the food is to die for.

Based off of the famous (or infamous) Malideus more than my other work. Please leave comments below.

Published 2014-02-14 10:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-16 02:09:02 UTC

Entreé

Two years ago...

I looked over my bulging ripplyness in the mirror. Being a proud man, I flexed my arms, striking a heroic pose in the mirror as best I could.
"Looking good, man, looking good." Then I laughed. Who was I kidding? I was a fat guy, through and through. I weighed in at about 150 kilograms, and it showed. I had a double chin, a large hairy gut and a wide arse. Still, it was perfect for my costume. I slapped my gut, enjoying the wobble of it.
"Let's see if I can drive somebody wild with desire tonight." I picked up my costume, a masterpiece of cloth.

It was a simple, brown robe, with a mantle and a couple of additional props. Firstly, I hauled on a shirt of cloth, then a layer of faux chain mail. That stuff chafes you something awful if you let it. Then, a pair of underpants, because I refused to let my nether bits enjoy a healthy breeze. That sort of thing is okay for wizards, but not for the Fat Friar. I hauled on my long robe, enjoying how it could serve as an enjoyable bathrobe. To make sure that it didn't flap about unnecessarily, I tied it at the waist with a length of yellowish rope. This assemblage complete, I braced myself for the hard part- shaving myself a monk's tonsure.

Now, I'd read about how to do this, and watched videos of it being done on Youtube. I grabbed my stone, knelt down, and got to work. It was an interesting process, scraping my hair away on the top, but it was an important part of the character I was playing. I was a friar, a medieval monk who eschewed worldly goods to wander the land, spreading the word of god to all of his parish. So I endured the pain and scraped on, to achieve a perfect tonsure. This was very hard to do- I wanted a fairly large bald spot, but not a wholly shaved head.

Now with a little bald patch on the top of my head, I cleaned up the other parts of my appearance. I shaved my double chin carefully, making sure not to cut myself, as that would just be embarrassing, a friar showing up with a piece of tissue paper stuck to his chin. I threw my razor into my little brown travel bag. In there also was a wine skin, filled with, of course, wine, some bread and cheese, a couple of apples, that sort of thing. It's important to keep the appearance of being a traveller.

I guess I am a traveller. Ever since I found out about planes and cars, I always liked travelling. Call me a bit mad, but I was prepared to throw everything down if that meant I could see the world. And so, I saw both the good and bad sides of society. You can't really appreciate the skyscrapers of New York without also seeing, firsthand, the beggars in the streets of Berlin and Paris. That's what travelling is all about; seeing the world around you and learning of it.

I sawyer my hips a bit as I finished my preparations. Everything else done and away, I placed a steel skullcap onto my head, and looked at myself in the mirror. Picking up a simple wooden staff that I made from a piece of driftwood, I tipped my head in greeting.
"Here's looking at you, kid." I fired a finger gun at my reflection, pulled my hood up and walked out ito my car, ready to hit the costume party.

You know something? No matter how far, or how wide you roam, you still call your own country, your own town home. Strange, but true. I could go to New York for a week, and always be glad to get home, even if I really wanted to travel.It's a peculiar thing. I parked my car outside the house, smoothed my robe of creases and rang the doorbell.

A couple of hours later, and the party was in full swing. I laughed boisterously, drinking beer after beer like there was no tomorrow. For us, there WAS no tomorrow- it was a Saturday night clubbing. Tomorrow, I was going to regret ever thinking about going to this party, but what the hell, the night was young and I was ready to party until I fell over tonight.

I plopped my wide ass down on a sofa, enjoying a break from the constant talking and dancing. I had eaten a dinner before hand, consisting of an omelette and chips, and now I was feeling pleasantly buzzed.
"Hey, my man!" Normally, I would have grunted at that voice, as it promised only bad things. But right now, with the alcohol pleasantly buzzing around my head like a swarm of bees, I instead greeted the guy with a casual, 'hey.' I really didn't like the guy, but he did work at a liquor store, so we got some, ah, 'employee discount' tonight.

Max was a pretty weird guy. For starters, he was a brony. I'm ambivalent towards bronies in general- some of them are pretty cool. Unfotunately, the 'some' are the vocal minority. Then there are the bronies who everybody hates- even the normal brines. The ones who abandon their friends to watch a show about friendship. How ironic.
Max was one of those. Before he'd become a brony, he'd had a girlfriend and some hangers-on. Then, he watched the show and his girlfriend had left him. His hangers-on also left. Guy was pretty depressed overall, but tonight the alcohol had rendered him jolly. Tonight, he was wearing a lot of pale white make-up, with a covering of some blue stuff. Apparently, it was a pony nicknamed 'Hugh Jelly' by the fandom. As I said, weird.
"Oh, man, you've gotta try this cocktail, dude!" I looked at it. It was all the colours of the rainbow, in a long glass.
"Cool, huh? It's known as a 'Rainbow Dash.' So, you wanna drink it, Fat Friar?" I laughed, and downed the thing in a single shot.

After that, the night became REALLY weird. I vaguely remember getting into a drinking contest (I played to lose,) telling some waif-like girl that I was going to be the next lecturer in Biology on Monday and almost vomiting on her, instead vomiting on a footy jock, and being hit on by some creepy guy wearing a fur suit. Then, I spiralled into unconsciousness.

"Bleah..." I sat up, tasting in my mouth the aftertaste of a hangover. I screwed my eyes shut, as apparently they had been removed, pissed on and put back. Every sound- the wind blowing through the grass, the chirping of birds, and the scuttling of insects, seemed deliberately amplified, as if somebody had taped a microphone to my ears. I moaned, wallowing in self-pity and outrage at my own body tormenting me.

Eventually, the sunlight had decreased in intensity from 'kill eyeballs,' to 'okay, you can see now.' I blearily opened my eyes, then paused.
"Okay, where the fuck am I?" I rasped, wanting a drink of water. I had a hangover, I needed a glass of water to quench my thirst. Standing up, I brushed myself off, getting little bits of grass and dirt off my ass. I looked around.

Apparently, I was in a forest glade somewhere. Which is very strange, considering that the only place like that around here is the Botanic Gardens, and we were on the opposite side of town from there. I tried looking around for any landmarks, but didn't find anything. Eventually, I just sagged in defeat.
"Alright, don't panic. I can find my own way. Just gotta get my phone out..." I whipped it out and looked at it.

No signal. Figures.

With an annoyed sigh, I turned it off entirely. No sense in wasting battery power with no buildings around. I looked at my worldly possessions. My staff and backpack looked back at me innocuously. I sighed, throwing on the backpack and picking up my staff. Thus armed and prepared, I chose a random direction and headed in that way.

After a few minutes of this, I was utterly lost. Still, not everything was bad; my hangover had receded to nothingness and I had taken a drink from my wineskin. Even so, I was watching around me for any sign of civilisation. Hesitantly, I called out.
"Hello?" No answer.
"Hello?" Still no answer.
I shrugged, pressing on. Sooner or later, I'd find civilisation. I walked on, calling out the whole way.

Eventually, I think that I found something of civilisation. A path. I giddily skipped along it, previous tiredness forgotten. Eventually, I came across a large castle, dilipated and seemingly dead. I didn't really care; it was a castle, and castles meant tours, and tours meant civilisation. I ran towards it- well, jogged.

Entering the castle, I felt a sense of fear, worry and... hunger. Don't judge the fat guy for being hungry, I'd been walking for about two hours, I deserved to be hungry. I sat down on a bench and rummaged through my supplies. I pulled out my small loaf of bread, and tore off a small hunk; until I found people, I was conserving my food supply. I masticated furiously, thinking. Have I ever been to this castle in my life? I leant back, thinking, then sprang back up when I heard what sounded a bit like two hooves hitting the ground. Then, I heard a voice speak.
"I thought that I heard a voice earlier, but maybe not. It may be utter rot." It was an African accent, and female. I stood up. Rescue was at hand!
"Hello?" I called, trying to attract my mysterious rescuer. I heard more two hooves impacting with stone, then met...
wait wat.

I was looking at a freaking anthropomorphic zebra lady. She was wearing a dark brown robe with a hood. Her intelligent blue eyes regarded me with curiosity. She had a mohawk as well, which looked kind of weird.
How did I know she was female? Easy to answer that; she had tits like a porn star. Seriously, those things had to be the size of my head.

I mentally slapped myself.
Rescue, even if it is by anthro zebra porn stars, is always appreciated.
"What manner of creature are you? Your like, I have not seen, and it seems as if you are in a bit of a to-do." I nodded.
"Yes, I'm rather lost. Could you give me directions to the nearest town, please?" She nodded.
"Follow me."

As we walked through the forest, I struck up a conversation.
"So, uh, what's your name?" She glanced back.
"My name is Zecora, and I am a herbalist. Should you have any ills, then tell me, and I'll see what remedy fits." Seems that she can't speak two sentences without rhyming. I was pretty curious about that.
"So... what's with the rhyming?" I knew that as soon as I'd said that, it was rude. Zecora didn't seem to mind.
"It is a tradition amongst my people. To ask me to stop would be far too steep." Ah, good rhyme there. We walked on, in silence after that. The forest quashed all small talk. Eventually, we came across a run-down hut, which Zecora opened, beckoning me in.

We sat in her house for a while, me sitting politely while she made some tea.
"I like the masks. Very nice." Did I mention that I utterly failed at small talk. She chuckled, handing me a large cup. I inhaled the scent, then drank a mouthful.
"The nearest town is a place called Ponyville, just over yonder. Follow the path, and you should see it in all its splendour." I nodded.
"Ponyville? Bit of an odd name..." I wracked my brains for where I'd heard that name before. Wait a minute... was I in Pony land? Huh. I thought that they were ponies, not anthro porn stars. Still, I was nothing if not a courteous guest. I finished my tea, setting it down.
"Thank you for the tea." I stood up, and walked out.

I travelled along the path, thinking hard. Was I really in Pony Land? Well, I didn't rightly care. I eventually crested the small hill. There was a bloody treehouse, with animal coops. I walked past it, ignoring it.

This 'Ponyville' looked positively idyllic, There were buildings that looked like jesters' caps, a library made out of a tree, even- good lord- a giant gingerbread house. It looked so sweet that I was sure that I had diabetes now. I frowned. I much preferred the Everfree forest.

Author's Note

Well, this one is different from my other work. Here's to your enjoyment.

Main

I just stared for a while, bathing in the saccharine nature of this place. It says something that the place LITERALLY made me feel ill from how much sugar there was, and this is coming from the guy who has coffee with his sugar. Nevertheless, I needed to go there. I lifted up a foot, paused, then set it back down.
Nope.
Screw this.
I wasn't going to risk getting MORE diabetes if I had to. There were other towns, and I guess I could go without food for a while...

Who am I kidding?
I swept my hood overhead, and reluctantly trudged in further into town. Food and water are important supplies. Really, they are. I kept telling myself that even though I felt like gagging. I was the man with the plan- I was going to get in, buy as much food and water as I could carry, then get out again. After that, maybe I could travel someplace that didn't make me feel physically ill. I hear that Hell is a good place to visit this time of year. Or maybe the Arctic Tundra. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

I could tell that my plans were going to go dangerously astray when I was suddenly set upon by something that my conscious mind registered as 'PINK.' Seriously, anthro horse lady was such a blindingly bright pink, my retinas were being burned by it. She was kind of chubby, but compared to my girthliness she was a noob. LOL, noob, lern 2 overeat. She was wearing a bright blue dress with an apron on it, which I though was kind of odd. Overall, I remembered her as the annoying pink one, who acts like she's in a cartoon. Of all of them, she was probably my least favourite. Still, I had to at least pretend to be polite. Politeness is a virtue, even if I am in a place that has given me type 3 diabetes.
"Hello, ma'am." At this, she gasped, floated in the air and literally zoomed away over the horizon. I steered after her with a flat, "wat..."

Well, what else does one say to that? What? Eventually, I shrugged it off and continued down the path, looking for some food. The town square seemed to have a market, so I headed over, curious to see what wares one could purchase.

Apples seemed to be in vogue. Like, everybody here bought apples. Made sense, what with horses and all, but really? try something different people. Instead, I headed over to the smaller, less well-maintained stalls. Those usually have better food than a commercial place. Yes, I'm onto your schemes, Woolworths! You can't fool me now!

Poor yellow mare seemed to be desperately trying to hawk her goods, so I decided to help her out a bit. As soon as she saw me coming, her day brightened up considerably. I mean, she was still getting business, but apple stall was getting a lot more customers.
"Good morning! Right here, one can buy carrots, carrots and more carrots!" I chuckled, perusing my coin pouch. Before I'd left, Zecora had been kind enough to give me some filthy lucre.
"Greetings. I'm just passing through town-" here the mare's face fell, so I hastened, "- and I'm in considerable need of supplies. Could you get me a dozen carrots?" She nodded, eyes sparkling. Heh, I probably made her day a bit more, buying so many. She scooped them together, bunched them up and tied the stalks together.
"One bit, please." I handed it over. I felt bad, so I decided to ask for directions.
"I'm going to be on the road for a while, and I don't know the town this well. Mayhaps you could direct me to the nearest store with camping supplies?" I handed her an extra bit, which she hastily slipped into her own pouch.
"Oh, it'll be no problem! It just so happens that business is a bit slow, lately, so it's no problem at all." She flipped a 'OUT FOR LUNCH' sign up over her stall and walked off, beckoning me to folio.

As I walked through town with my new guide, I was struck by how friendly this mare was. I mean, I was practically a hobo, and se was going out of my way to help me! How nice of her. I made a note to buy as many vegetables as I could from her. Maybe Pony Land wasn't so bad after all. She waved at me when she directed me to the store, then ran off.
"Sorry- business- really sorry that I can't stay and chat!" I waved. I could understand.

The camping store looked woefully rundown. My opinions soured. Out in the wilderness, one would need as many of these supplies as possible. I pushed open the door, wincing at the squeak of rusty hinges. The kind of manly dark green stallion lounging here perked up.
"WELCOME TO SURVIVAL SKILLS' EMPORIUM OF CAMPING WARES!" He's pretty loud. Must not get a whole heap of customers. As I got closer, I saw clear signs of malnutrition- sticking out ribs, hollow eyes. The sort of things that you see in beggars. I looked at my gut.
Eh, I can survive without too many carrots.
"Hey, I need quite a lot of stuff."
"Right. What do you need?" His face looked very hopeful.
"For starters, a box of matches, some pots and pans, a couple of flasks of water, a sleeping roll and a tent." He dashed, literally dashed off to grab all the stuff I asked him for. In about two minutes, he'd grabbed everything I'd asked for.
"That'll be ten bits for the lot." I counted out ten little gold coins, then threw him six carrots. He really needed them more than I. The poor guy's face lit up when he saw what I'd given him.
"That's a tip." I gathered up the stuff, and then paused.
"I think that I need a bag for all this."

Now fully prepared for the world of Ponyland, I stepped out, with a large, rather dusty rucksack slung over my shoulder. A flagon of water swung on my hip. As I left, though, something caught my eye. A pawn shop. Curious, I walked over. It looked kind of dusty and not very well used at all. Now, normally I'd have left it the hell alone, but something drew my eye towards it. Maybe it was the lump of gold just displayed in the window so blatantly.

I pushed the door open hesitantly. Nobody seemed to have locked the door, so I went in. I stared around me at all of the cluttered shelves, piled high with clothes, knick-knacks, all sorts of things.
"Ah, hello." The grey mare inside was looking pretty tired. She was wearing a pink, fluffy dressing gown that looked like it had seen better days, and she sipped from a cup of coffee that she held. What was interesting was the horn on her head- a unicorn.
"Name's Quick Hoof. Know why I'm called that?" Before I could answer, she flared her horn, and reappeared somewhere else, then popped back in front.
"That's why. I teleport. Useful talent in a pawn shop, I can tell you that." I didn't know how to respond to that. Her eyes danced with a fire that no other unicorn I'd seen in my brief stay here had- a desire to be something different.
"I'm just curious about the item in the window- the lump of gold?" She looked at it.

"Nopony wants it. There's a tale behind that one, I can tell you that." The mare teleported over to it, touching it fondly.
"Long ago, this lump here was dug out of the Everfree forest by an enterprising miner by the name Strong Pick. He took it to his town, and they all celebrated." Quick Hoof grinned.
"But one miner, Candle Light, didn't like Strong Pick. He felt that the gold had to be his. So, one day, in the mines, he takes a rock and brains Strong Pick to death." I was riveted.
"In a month, avarice and greed drove all of them mad, and they killed one another, for possession of the gold. Eventually, the Royal Guard found it- a small squadron. Even they fell prey to greed."
"So it's cursed?" In response to that, she laughed.
"By Celestia, no. The ponies here are kind of, well, yokels. They've got minds like pudding. They'll believe any story. No, all this lump of gold is is really big and heavy. The story actually is, it was mined from the Everfree Forest, about a hundred years ago. The thing is, every pony here believes that it's cursed, because it came from the Everfree." I shook my head.
"Yokels indeed. But why live here?" She shrugged.
"It's a living. Now," she looked me over, "I assume that you're not planning on staying here, right?" I shook my head.
"Not at all."
"Good, you've more sense than I do." She pushed through, waving her hands.

"If you're planning on going through the Everfree, then you'll need protection. Can you weave a spell?"
"No-"
"Can you fly? No," she answered her own question. "Alright, do you know anything of herb lore?"
"A bit, but-"
"Can you run fast? Again, no." Quick Hoof fixed me with an armour piercing stare.
"If you wander through the Everfree without a guide, you will die fairly quickly unless you are incredibly lucky. Otherwise, you'll be killed or begging for death. The yokels here might be stupid, but they got one thing right about the Everfree- don't go in unless prepared. And even then, be careful." I nodded dumbly, pleased that somebody was going to help. She looked around, then teleported into a storeroom, then came back holding something.
"Here, I think you might like this."

It was a staff, made of brown wood with a spiralling pattern of orange and blue, with black and white stripes on the bottom. It looked kind of like my own, except for colour, but there was something about it. I was about to grab it, but she swatted my hand.
"Ah ah ah. First, ten bits." I obliged. She weighed the coinage, then handed me the staff.
"I present to you the Staff of Balance. Don't use it all at once."
"Staff of Balance?" She nodded.
"Feel that? You're holding a magical artefact that is either the most or least powerful thing you've ever seen. It all depends on how stringent you are."
"That would be telling. Now, good luck on your journey." With that, I felt a flash around me.

When I next saw light, I was standing far outside Ponyville. Huh, she can remotely teleport people? Interesting. I examined the staff in my hands. now that I looked at it, I could see that there were what looked like screaming faces in the pattern of the wood. I don't know whether or not what I held in my pudgy hand was evil or not, but there were sights in the world to see, and I wasn't going to stick around any longer. I waved with my staff and set off through the forest.

Ah, it was good to be home, even if it was only a home away from home...

Author's Note

This is the end of the intro, I guess.
Soon, the action will hot up.
This is set two years before Twilight shows up in town.

On the Road again.

One year later...

I sat in my chair, drumming my fingers. Thanks to a rat in our group, we were now hiding in the back-up hiding spot in the Everfree.
"Hey, what's got you so down?" I looked at one of my favourite travelling companions, Trixie. When I'd met her on the mean streets of Neigh Orleans, I'd felt a lot of pity for the slumping, alcoholic mare, entertaining drunken louts with cheap magic tricks. Now, she was clean, and even if she had a bit of an ego at times, her expertise with illusions and fireworks was admirable.
"Nothing, Trixie, it's just..." I slumped. This group was meant to help people out, not cause such destruction.
"Who would have guessed that Flash Sentry was a mole?" The young pegasus had been down on his luck, living over a brothel in Manehatten and trying to earn a couple of bits. I gave him the chance to join the Everfree Merry Ponies, a little group I'd founded a year ago. Then, it had only been the quick eyes of one of my top spies seeing him dressed in guard armour that caused me to gather my group up and beat it to a new hideout.

One year ago, I left the diabetic sugar bowl that was Ponyville with a magic staff in my hands and a bag on my back. Since then, I'd seen a fair amount of the world- Canterlot, Manehatten, Neigh Orleans, the like. What I saw sickened me.
For all their high talk of 'harmony,' and 'equality,' it was pretty obvious that there were huge class divides. Nobles could buy practically anything, while those who society disliked were cast out into the streets, not even given any consideration. It was just the same as Earth, only nobody seemed to want to overthrow the caste system. I'd seen that, too- I remember it clearly. People divided into castes depending on birth. Earth ponies were almost never nobles, pegasi were middle case citizens, and unicorns had the best prospects.

Once I'd seen the beggars being herded out of the front streets to the back ones in Canterlot, I made a vow. I was going to do everything in my power to tip the scales in the downtrodden's favour. At first, I just gave them food, something to help them through the day. But it wasn't enough. I was only one fat man with practically no worldly possessions at all. All I was doing was feeding a couple of starving ponies and not really helping the bigger problem.

The idea came to me once on the road, where I'd been attacked by a starving pony. Instead of beating him up and turning him into the Guard, I had an idea. I explained it to him- we were going to bust into a bank, steal as much money as we could and get as much to eat as we could. That pony, known as Red Robin, called me crazy. I told him to wait there. I then went to Canterlot bank, and demonstrated the capabilities of my staff there. I didn't kill anybody, but those there still have the scars where my flames burnt them.

When I returned two hours later with a large sack of bits, he lost his doubts. After that, we ate a good meal, and gave the money away to the beggars in the street. This was a more potent sign of changing the status quo. I then had a brainwave. I asked the beggars if they would like to aid us in the thefts, take some money for themselves so that they could survive. A few agreed, but the rest disagreed, saying that they respected the Princess. I didn't force them to join; it was their decision.

The next six months were hectic for our little group. The press had a field day with our crimes, denouncing us as 'dishonest thieves.' We didn't care, we were doing the right thing, even if it was wrong by law. Thanks to the staff of balance, every altercation ended in our favour, but we needed more magic. We found a few unicorns who were willing to help us out, namely Trixie and Quick Hoof, who had left Ponyville on her own advice.

The Princess had to cover up the good we were doing, but there were always those who saw. A few ponies who saw that, while our methods were questionable, our goals were right. They were the ones who gave us the title, "The Everfree Merry Ponies." I liked that title, and sketched it into the walls of the banks we robbed.

There were always a few close calls- the Guard were getting steadily faster and faster in response to our bank robbing. We responded with more elaborate escape plans each time. But now, our undercover 'spotters' had their identities risked.

You see, it's not always enough to have might on your side. Sometimes, you need to have some subtlety. So we had the spotters. These were ponies who weren't part of our group, at least not officially. They scouted out banks and houses we were robbing, giving a cursory detailed glance. Those ponies were also very good at spying out guards and raising the alarm.

Fortunately, Flash Sentry was only a fresh member of the Everfree Merry Ponies, so he didn't see the spotters. They preferred to keep their identities anonymous, and I liked that. Meant that rats like Flash wouldn't find them.

I decided on a course of action.
"The next raid shall have to be changed." Quick Hoof looked at me as if I'd lost my marbles.
"That's not a very wise decision." I sighed and nodded, rubbing my bald head.
"I know, but we are helping out people, and wallowing in the Everfree isn't going to change anything." Quick Hoof sighed.
"I suppose you're right." She turned around.
"You heard the Fat Friar, let's get your gear on!" I stood up, surveying the glade.

It had taken a lot of effort, but we had plenty of tents set up here. A cloud bank overhead shielded our position from high flying pegasi, and there were wards all around the perimeter that detected when an unauthorised intruder was going in. One of the first things we'd down when Flash betrayed us was to remove his approval from the wards. The other thing we'd done was install a watch. Nopony liked the Everfree Forest all that much, but we'd all learned a lot about herb lore, which plants to eat and when to eat them. We were perfectly self-sustaining here.

I grabbed my staff, feeling the power flow through my fingers. Grabbing my skull cap, I jogged over to the meeting point. Once there, I consulted with our spotter.
"Any news?" Lieutenant Stern Hoof nodded, keeping a careful eye out. Even though I knew that he was loyal to our cause, I was still cautious with him.
"There's a tax wagon that's passing from Ponyville to Canterlot in a few hours. More than enough time to get ready for them." I grinned, and turned to give the orders.
"Let's head out, boys!"

Tax carriage

Flash Sentry looked on uneasily into the forest. Even though the raid had only captured three members of the group, it was still being hailed as a bold move against these bandits. He knew it wasn't, really. From what he'd seen, the group that met in the depths of the forest numbered near a hundred, and their members grew daily from the beggars in the streets. He wasn't even sure how many of them acted as 'spotters' for the bandits to move.

He'd told the Princess everything he could about the group's tactics- they preferred to ambush, strike hard and take everything they could, then retreat into the forest. That was when their leader wasn't around. He'd participated in a few raids, and was amazed at the diligence that they put into their work. It was almost as tough as the guard physical and teamwork drills. Truly, he admired them.

But even though they were doing the right thing, they were going about it in the wrong way. He kept a careful eye on the trees. Who knew where or when a possible attack might occur-

With a mighty explosion, the back wheels of the cart were taken down. It dragged onto the ground, and Flash jumped up, sword in hand. Standing behind the cart, wiping mud off of himself, was the Fat Friar himself. Flash stared. This wasn't some mysterious creature from another continent- this was a warrior who only had a half smile on his lips.

A unicorn tried to blast him, but a wave of his staff deflected it. The Friar spun, shooting a brown fireball out in the general direction, spinning it the other way to flash freeze Flash to the cart with a large chunk of brownish ice. Other guards tried to attack, but he slammed his staff into the ground, and the earth swallowed their legs. A pegasus trying to dive bomb him was rewarded with a miniature cyclone coming out of the tip of the staff, slamming him into a tree with the crackle of breaking wing bones. Flash struggled to get out, before giving up. The Friar looked at him curiously. Then, he frowned.
"Flash Sentry?" Flash slumped in defeat. The Friar was probably going to kill him. He struggled with his bonds, but the Friar had frozen him well. All he could to was watch the Friar remove several bags of gold.
"Flash... I want you to know this." He walked up, staring him right in the eyes.
"I forgive you." With that, he stalked off, the other guards incapacitated by the very earth beneath their hooves. Flash felt tears in his eyes.

Why had the Friar forgiven him? It was a question he didn't understand.

Hideout.

I sat back down, covering my face with my hands. Beside me, Quick Hoof looked at me sympathetically.
"You still want him to be in the band, don't you?" I sighed.
"If he wants to be a Guard, then I won't force him to rejoin. I have never forced anybody to join the Everfree Merry Ponies."
With that, I went off to my tent, thinking about a potential friend of mine.

Author's Note

Most villains are doing it for the evils.
This guy is a more benevolent Malideus, I think.
Less about taking over and more about righting wrongs.