Fallout Equestria: Mindless

Fallout Equestria: Mindless

Chapter 5
Trust

by LunaOnTheMoon

We walked through the mere endless steppe. There was sand everywhere and a couple of small, stone hills. I wondered the whole time how such formations could develop. The sun was beating down on my hide and I was thirsty.

But I didn’t want to turn around.

I was still angry at 17 and 21. Angry, that they made me doubt Lightning. But I didn’t want to talk to Lightning either. As much as I hated myself for it, they had a point. It was odd. Why did she help me?

I had saved her. Two times already. She had cared for me. More than two times already. Why should I have doubts about her? She was as nice and caring as 21 and as strong and determined as 17.
They should’ve taken her in with open arms.

But something was even more odd. 17 and 21 acted weird. Somehow hostile. Our meeting had felt so cold. Maybe they thought I abandoned them. Or that I would rather stay with Lightning now.

Why couldn’t we be friends?

I hated to be the middle-mare. Mediating ponies. I liked it more if others told me what to do. Suddenly it was me going in front and tending to everything.

Okay, maybe that was a bit excessive. Calm down, Vex. Your thoughts are running wild again. But it still felt wrong.

Slowly my throat was becoming dry and I had to clear it ever so often. I felt all six eyes on me, but my pride demanded to go on with my head raised.

I felt my tension. Every moment now someone would say something. Tell me to drink something or I would become weak again. But nothing happened. I couldn’t bear it anymore and turned around.

“No.” I shouted. “I don’t want that. You will get to know each other and become friends. And then we will all walk to Starshine together and live a quiet life.” I said loudly, while walking towards Lightning.

I poked her with my wing and pointed at 21 and 17. “Go on, talk to them and introduce yourself. Then you will talk about yourself and become friends. Chop chop.”

Lightning stared at me with wide open eyes. Then she looked sheepishly at the ground.

“Vex, I… don’t believe, that’s a good idea.” she said quietly.

“Ooooh no. You wont get away now. I am the elected leader here, carrying the rifle. So you do as I say.”

I kicked the saddlebags from her back and nudged her a little, so she turned around and walked towards 21 and 17.

With a smug smile on my face I saw her getting closer. 21 and 17 looked at me reproachfully, but I stared back with a determined look. I was satisfied with myself.

I turned my attention towards the saddlebags, opened them and searched for something drinkable. Now, that I paid attention to it, I realized how thirsty I was. Luckily we had couple cans with some water.

Lightning had explained, that not only food was stored in those cans. But most of the time, one would find water in bottles. I didn’t want to imagine what it tasted like. Vegetating in them for years. I took out on of the cans, Lightning had marked and opened it cautiously.

Every last drop was precious. But I hesitated when I looked at the content. Somehow I had expected something different.

“What the hell is that?” I asked no one particular. The water inside was white. Without looking at her, I called out to Lightning: “Hey, is this still good? The water is white?”

“That’s not water. Its coconut milk.”

Coconut milk? Never heard of it.

Well, no time to be picky. I sipped at it slowly and became prostrated. I had never tasted anything like this. Opening my eyes wide I drank half the can. It was so tasty. Most of it didn’t make it into my mouth.

When I was finished, I sat down satisfied and exhaled. Never before had I felt like this. I felt my body relaxing and would have loved to take a nap.

I looked over at Lightning, 21 and 17. They sat together, talking quietly. I couldn’t hear, what they said but I took it as a good sign. Carrying the can with my wings, I went to them.

“What you guys talkin’ about?” I asked happily, smiling.

“Oh, just this and that…” Lightning said and looked away, drawing something in the sand with her hooves.

I looked over to 21 and raised my brows. “So?”

“It’s okay. We’ll manage.” she said, looking concerned.

“Well, better than nothing.” I replied. “So can we walk together now?”

“Yes, of course. Let’s go.”

“You want to drink something? I have something left. And we cant recap the can.” I said to the others.

“I’ll take it.” Lighting said and took the can. She squinnied her eyes and gulped it down. Then she looked at me, throwing the can away.

“What?” she asked.

“What was that?” I asked her back.

“What do you mean?”

“You just… like… did you even enjoy it?”

“How could I? It tastes awful.”

“You sure?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow. I couldn’t quite believe her.

“Yes. It’s just… coconut milk. You dont really just drink it like that. They rather used it for cooking.”

“If you say so.” I said and smirked, still not believing her. “Well then let’s go.”

“First, let’s switch please. You give me the rifle and take the bags please.”

“Awwww. Really? Well, I guess you’re right. I didn’t quite do a good job back in the facility.” I said and laughed, but it quickly died. Lightning managed a smile, but it disappeared quickly, too.

“Hey, 17, could you give me a hoof here? You’re the guy here after all.” I called.

“Can’t you take that stuff here?” I asked him, when he got closer. I was meddling with the straps, trying to load the bags onto my back. 17 came closer, looked at me… and went past me, staring into my eyes, smiling.

I threw him my most hateful look, but he just kept smiling. “Damn you, 17. At least help me putting them on.”

But he just called: “You can use the practice!” and laughed.

I growled. But then 21 came to my aid and helped me. In exchange I cuddled my head against her neck briefly, before starting to follow 17.

“So, what you wanna talk about?” Lightning asked me, after I closed the gap.

“Well, I dont know. How about you tell us something about Starshine?”

“Alright. Well, it’s just a small settlement. As you know, I went there as a scavenger and stayed to become a guard. I made friends, a good amount of money, enough to keep me fed and had a roof over my head.”

“How many ponies live there?”

“I don’t know exactly. Maybe 30 to 40. Its rather small.”

“How many guards were you?”

“Only 5. There wasnt really anything, that could endanger us. Or even would endager us. As you can see, its pretty deserted here. Not much to fear. Except raiders and slavers. But I know where to go to avoid them, so dont be scared.”

“I’m not scared. I have you” I said and smiled at her.

She blushed. “Well, the last time it was you, who saved us.” She looked down.

“What is it? I know, that you are scared, but I told you, I didnt do it on purpose. I dont know what happened.” I said quietly.

She stopped and looked at me.

“I know.” she said.

That relieved me and I smiled at her. She was looking at me sadly.

“What?” I asked her, wondering.

“I know… what happened.”

I felt my body tensing. “You… know? How?”

“We found your file, remember? You were so caught up in finding anything about 21 and 17, that you didn’t even ask.”

I remembered. I couldn’t even explain, why I just shrugged it off like that, but I guess that my friends were more important, than what was in my file.

“So you know what’s up with me? Can you tell me?”

“I could.” she answered cautiously.

“Will you tell me?” I asked feeling thrilled.

“I don’t know… if its the best idea… to tell you.”

I gave her a quizzical look. She seemed to struggle with herself.

“I’m not sure you want to know whats written inside.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like, there’s some stuff written inside, that could… maybe disturb you. Maybe it would be best to stay with what you know.”

“But…”

21 interrupted. “It’s her file and she has a right to know whats inside.” But 17 stepped in between, too.

“I’m not sure, 21. I think Lightning is right. Maybe it’s not that good of an idea.” He turned around, facing Lightning. “Maybe we should take a look first. We know her better than you and maybe we can decide, what would and wouldn’t harm her.”

“No, 17. I disagree. Don’t treat her like a child. She made it all by herself, since we lost each other. She can take care of herself.”

“21. No. You don’t know, what was happening inside this facility. What kind of ponies have been there. What… well. Just trust me. Okay?”

He turned around and looked at Lightning. “Can I take a look?” She nodded and pointed at me.

17 came closer, watching my face. I didnt know how to feel about this, but I trusted him.

He got to my side, looked into the saddlebags and pulled out my file. Then he went a couple of meters away from us. 21 looked at me and came to my side. She sat down and I did, too. I couldnt keep myself from watching 17’s face.

I was shaking. What in Equestria could be so… I didnt even know. Dangerous? Disturbing? Stupid? So that I shouldn’t read it?

21 nuzzled my ear and went over to 17. I guess she couldn’t keep her curiosity contained.

Fuck this. This was my file. And everybody should know what was inside, except me? I got up, stripped out of the saddlebags and wanted to go over. But Lightning was at my side and put a hoof on my shoulder. When I looked at her, she shook her head.

I hung my head and sat down again. Still shaking. Everything was so confusing. I winced. Lightning surrounded my head with her wing and pulled me to her chest. I stared at the sand.

Why? Why me?

****************

Patient File No. 5X67O16

Doctor Hippocampus

Subject 16

Name: Vex

Race: Pegasus

Sex: female

Day 0: Patient seems unstable. Multiple fractures. Medication advised. Transferred to Sector I, Room 1B.

Day 1: Patient is unresponsive. Lost control over body. Sleep Pod advised.

Day 2: Surgery. Large dose of sedative applied. Patient unresponsive.

Day 6: Patient awake. No memories. Strange noises and dreams. Hallucinations. Outbursts. Seizures. Patient dangerous.

Day 7: Drug Overdose. My fault.

Day 10: Change of sedative. Bad response.

Day 16: Patient is suicidal. Suffers. Hallucinations increase.

Day 17: Applied Atropin. Hallucinations decrease to a minimum. Strange reaction.

Day 21: Symptoms stable. Patient reacts to isolation.

Day 30: Patient adjusts to new surroundings.

Day 42: Strange reaction to ********. Patient seems to be related to ******* ******. Patient will need continous medication or ******** will come back. Get worse maybe. Guard L to supervise her. Maybe she will…

Day 44: ---

“Thats enough now. You shouldn’t go on. Ahem.” Lightning pulled the file from me.

“Hey, no. Wait. What are you supposed to do? There was something about you in my file. Why was there something about you? And I didnt even ready anything, why I have these outbursts.” But Lightning didn’t stop. She took the file and strapped it under her coat.

“That’s not fair. I want to know. I have to.”

“Please, Vex. Later. We have things to do. And I need you to focus. I can’t be responsible if you have those seizures again and I’m scared, that it gets worse.”

“But why don’t you tell me or let me read about, why I have them in the first place?”

“I’m not sure it will help you. Maybe it will get worse if you know about it. Believe me, it’s very complicated. My father gave you drugs to contain your outbursts and now, they’re slowly coming back. We dont have that medicine to help you. And he kept the information from you, too. He had an idea, why you are like… this. And I dont know if its safe to tell you.”

That was neither helping nor very satisfying. Or even logical. I turned around and faced 21 and 17.

“21?” But she just looked at me sadly. “17? Come on. Now you’re on her side.”

“Im afraid so, 16. As stupid as it may sound. I think shes right. Hippocampus had his reasons not to tell you, I think. It must be, otherwise he would’ve told you in the first place. What did you talk about in your daily sessions?”

“I dont know. Stuff.” I was angry. “We talked about my dreams, about my seizures and memories. But in the end… he… He told me that I would lose my memories.”

“What?” Lightning asked, shocked?

“He told me, that something in my body was rejecting the medicine. So either way I would lose my memories or get more intense seizures, like yesterday. When…”

“But that means. We… we cant do anything about it? But… maybe in Starshine, someone has medicine for you. I mean, there has to be someone.”

“No!” I screamed at her. “I dont want to. I will keep my memories even those few I have. Two years. Two years worth of memory. Good ones and bad ones. I wouldnt trade it for anything. Even if those Celestia and Luna damn seizures kill me!” I screamed at the sky.

Breathing heavily I laid down. “Just leave me. You go on. There is no future for me. I’ll stay here and fulfill my promise. Go mad and die.” I laid on my back, staring at the sun.

Then someone came close and stepped above me. And then slapped my face.

“Snap out of it!” she screamed. I was so startled, I didnt know what to do, except stare at her.

“You will come with me and we will find a solution to your problem. The file said what to do, what could help you. But I never to it very seriously until I read about it myself.” Lightning told me. She extended a hoof to help me up. “You’re not going to die out here. Not if I can help it. Let’s just get to Starshine. And you will tell me, when youre having another seizure, immediately, or I’ll slap you so hard, youll never seizure on me again. Do you understand?”

“But…” I started.

“I said...

Do...

you...

… understand?”

“Y...Yes.” Somehow I felt better and worse at the same time. I didnt know how she wanted to help me with my seizures. But she had a plan, I thought. Instructions from Doctor Hippocampus.

“Repeat it.” she said in a low voice and glowered at me.

“I… I will not die and tell you when I have another seizure, immediately.”

“Or?”

“You’ll slap me so hard, I’ll never seizure on you again.”

“Good. Now get movin’.”

I didnt know what to feel about that. As confusing as it was, I felt a bit reassured. She would watch out for me. But still. What if it didnt help. What if I killed her with another seizure?
21 came close and walked next to me. “Don’t worry. Im starting to think she know’s what she is doing. Maybe we dont have to go mad after all.” she said and winked at me.

Yeah, maybe.

****************

The last entry in my file, that I read, said day 42. I’ve been in the facility for two years, the doctor said. How could he know, what affected me and still don’t tell me, even after such a long time.

I was worrying so much about it, I started to feel sick. Stop thinking. Now you focus on the task at hand. Whatever that was.

“What are we going to do in Starshine?” I asked Lightning.

“First, we’ll have to find a place to sleep, something to eat and drink and weapons. Then… we will see. Maybe I can get my old job back as a guard. And you… you will have to work, too.”

“What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how work as guard. Or anything. I never worked in my life. I just… I dunno, I was a patient. For all I can remember.”

“Well, I would come to think, that you had a life before your time at the facility. You must be good at something to earn some caps. Don’t worry. We’ll find something. Maybe you can clean or cook. Repair stuff. Barter. Salvage, scavenge or… some kinky stuff maybe?”

“You… no. What? You get food and stuff for… that?”

“Mainly bottlecaps, yeah. There many ponies doing that. You get used to it.”

“Oh, my.”

I looked over at 21 and 17. They didn’t seem surprised.

Have I been? No. I would never do such a thing. For… caps?

“What do you mean by caps?” I asked Lighting.

“Bottlecaps. Its the currency everyone uses in the Wasteland.”

“Like for real?”

“Very.” she answered and laughed.

“You clearly dont know anything about it.”
“Yes, very funny, thank you very much. It’s not like I’ve forgotten everything apart from the last two years.”

“Oh come one, Vex, lighten up. Im just trying to take your mind of everything.”

“Yes, yes. You do that and Im gonna go sleep with ponies for caps.”

“Dont mind if you do.”

“Fuck y…”

“Say what now?”

“Sorry.” I said quietly.

“Why? You’re no filly no more. You can swear all you want. Dont bother.”

“Fuck. Shit. Cock.” I said rueful.

“Thats it? Thats all you got? Come on. You have better than this.”

“But… I dont want to hurt anybody. Why would I say such things?”

“I dont know. You feel better after you do. Believe me. You will be surprised.”

I shrugged. I couldnt really believe her. Normally I would never say such things. Why would I? She was just so…

“Now would you please be so kind and tell me what I can do to help? To earn some caps?”

“I already told you.”

“But I dont want to cook or clean. I cant cook and… I dont like to clean. And that other stuff. I have never done anything but sleep, eat, talk and suffer from seizures, migraines and panic. Not to mention anxiety. Or fear. Despair or rage. Choose one.”

“Yeah, yeah. Could you stop whining for a second and lighten up already? It really starts to make me suicidal. But… you have a point. Well, maybe I could teach you a thing or two. Then you could become a guard or maybe even a professional scavenger and we could go on a tour together.”

“That does sound better. But Im not sure if I can handle a weapon. You saw how I managed.”

“Well you still have my PipBuck. You can use S.A.T.S. remember? Than will suffice for the moment. And I dont even think you will have to use it anyway. The last time I shot something… puh… I dont even remember it.”

I was thinking about the attack on the facility. Did she shoot someone? She never mentioned it. But I didnt feel like asking.

“What about 17 and 21? What can they do?”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to find something for them, too. Dont worry. There’s always a way.”

That didnt sound very confident. But she knew her way around and I didnt. So who was I to judge?

“We’re here.” Lightning said and breathed out deeply. “We made it.”

I stepped closer and my eyes fell on a little circular settlement with a couple of houses and a big tower in their midst. The tower was three times as big as any house. It was four-sided and narrow tapering, which ended in a pyramid-like shape at the top. It cast a shadow on one of the buildings.

Somehow I had imagined something different. Like a huge city with millions of ponies. This was just a couple of walls taped together with glue.

“That… is it? Starshine?” I asked doubtingly.

„Yes. What did you expect? A huge city with millions of ponies?” Lightning countered.

“Well, if you put it that way. … Yes.” I answered.

“Don’t you listen? I already told you, there’s maybe about 30 to 40 ponies there.”

“Oh. Okay, well. Let’s get down then.”

“Okay, but first. Maybe I should tell you something about living in such a place.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ehm. Let me think? Ponies around these parts are a bit… strange, to put it lightly. They don’t… know how to behave. They… oh come one. I don’t know how to explain. Just… don’t except anything from them. Some of them are nice. But those are the smallest part. The others just care about themselves. Don’t expect a warm welcome.”

“Maybe you don’t know, but I haven’t been very outgoing in my past life, either. Maybe it was me or the fact, that where I lived for the last years, there have been nothing but crazy ponies and mental doctors.”

“You mean psychologist?” she asked with a sardonic smile on her face.

“No. I meant orange juice. Out of nowhere. Above those trees.” I said and stepped closer to her.

Her smile vanished and a skeptical look appeared.

I went closer and closer, extended my wing and booped her nose. Then I walked past her, downhill, towards Starshine.

“What did I expect?” I could hear her mumbling under her breath. When I turned my head around I saw her shaking her head.

I smiled and descended further. Vex one, Lightning zero. Sometime in the future I wouldn’t be the only crazy one around. I laughed maniacally and leaped forwards. I spread my hooves and landed in the sand. The sand gave way and slid downhill very swiftly. The air blowing through my mane was so refreshing and the speed was exhilarating. I felt my heart thumping in my ears, when I skidded to a stop at the bottom of the dune. I looked back up and saw Lightning with wide opened eyes. I beamed and blew a kiss at her.

Then I turned around and started towards the entry gates. But after a couple of meters I slowed down. On each side of the gate stood a somewhat massive watchtower and two guards were watching me step closer. They had watchful eyes and guns pointed at me. I came to a complete stop now and watched them back. I didn’t quite know, how to feel about that. Somehow I didn’t quite get the feeling they wanted me coming closer. I felt my body starting to throw some spasms my way. My legs twitched and I jerked my head to counter the feeling.

Well that was that about leaving a good first impression. Twitching and jerking I waited for Lightning and the others. Lightning had a frown on her face and went past me, whispering:

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Then she called out the guards.

“Hey, Shiver, Salmon. Its me, Lightning. Im back. Will you let us in?“

„Lightning?“ one of the guards called back down from his watchtower. “Why you came back?”

“Something happened. We were attacked. I need to get inside and speak to Moonlight.”

“Okay. But what about your ‘friend’ there. She don’t look that good.“ he said emphasizing “friend” like it was an insult.

“She’s with me. So don’t ask.”

“Okay. Okay. Giddy!“

„What about my friends?“ I called.

Lightning turned around.

“Vex. Sh!“ she said sharply.

“But what about 21 and 17? He didn’t say…”

“It’s okay. They can come, too. Just let me… okay?“ she answered quickly. She somehow looked a little bit scared. I didn’t know why.

I just nodded. Maybe I really should let her take care of it. So I kept my mouth shut and followed her. When we reached the entrance, the gate
opened slowly and one of the guards came outside to take a closer look at us.

After inspecting me for a bit, which made me feel a little uncomfortable. He eyed me up and down for at least a minute, he addressed Lightning
again.

“What you doin’ with that crazy pony?” he asked her.

“How do you know?” I asked him bluntly.

Lightning extended her rear hoof, without looking back and tried to kick me, but missed.

“I took her in. She was in danger. Can we go now?“ she answered a little annoyed.

“Yes, yes. You know we have to ask questions. Don’t blame me. Maybe you can talk some sense into Moonlight.”

“What you mean?” Lightning asked.

“You’ll know. Come on now, have to close the gate.”

He shooed us inside.

We walked in and now I saw it all. It looked totally different from inside. When I could only barely see some roofs and the wall from the outside, I didn’t imagine this. The houses actually looked pretty good. They were sleazy but all in all they held. The color on the walls was peeling off, there were cracks in the walls and the windows were blind. But the structure looked like it would survive another couple of years. We were walking on a
straight road leading directly towards the big tower in the middle of the settlement. On our right and left hand side house after house stood next
to each other with a couple of meters gap between them. They had even tried to make it look like these old houses in those books I had read.
Before the war. There were benches on little wooden porches, mailboxes and even some kind of plants in pots standing around.

Lightning went straight past everyone. I couldn’t help myself but look at them with my mouth open. They wore pretty clean clothes and hats. They
greeted each other and smiled. When we passed them, they looked at us with watchful eyes.

They didn’t smile at us. I felt uncomfortable. Some of the male inhabitants looked at me with hungry eyes, like they were about to eat me. Some
of the others looked at me with hostile expressions. I noticed those ones were mostly the female ones. They wore work clothing. It looked very
sturdy and a bit dirty.

I went closer to Lightning and walked beside her.

“Why are they all watching us like that?”

“They’re not watching us. They’re watching you.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Well, you know, because…” she said smiling.

I frowned at her expecting an answer.

“You’re pretty pretty.”

“Pretty pretty?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Meaning what now?”

“You look good.”

“You think? But I don’t really feel that well. I could use some sleep. And something bitey.”

“No. I don’t mean good. I mean you look pretty.” Lightning blushed.

“Pretty what?” I got more and more confused.

She sighed. “You don’t want to understand, do you? Or do you want me to embarrass myself?”

I seriously had my doubts, who was the crazy one right now. She had stopped and looked at me. I looked back.

“Well?” she asked. I gave her a weird, not-understanding face.

“Nevermind then.” she said, turned around and started walking.

“But… I don’t get it.”

She sighed and turned around again.

“You look good. Like not your health, but your general appearance. Ponies would like to go out with you and… like, you know…please don’t make me go on.” She blushed deeply.

And then something in my head went ‘click’.

“Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh.” I said loudly.

„Oh.“ I repeated briefly. And blushed like I had never blushed before. I hadn’t even though of that.

Lightning raised a brow, coughed slightly, turned around and started walking. I stood there for a couple seconds, realizing what we were talking about the whole time. I quickly looked left and right without turning my head and started to follow Lightning quickly. Damn you, brain, for being so slow.

****************

When we reached the tower in the middle of the settlement, I could see lanes leading in every cardinal direction. We came from the south one, but every way I looked everything looked very similar. Houses on each side. Sometimes bigger ones, sometimes small ones. Some of them had shiny panels hanging outside picturing a pony with stars above its head or one with three bottlecaps. And… oh my… there was one showing ponies having… intercourse. I swallowed.

“Lightning. Is this there… that building with the panel… I mean…“ I stammered.

She looked the direction I was looking, turned around and laughed.

“You have much to learn, Vex. I told you everything is a bit strange outside and the ponies are even stranger. Ok now lets talk about some serious business. This here is Starshine Tower, its where Moonlight, the… lets say mayor of this town lives. Im gonna talk with her. Maybe I can get my old job back and we need a place to sleep. I couldn’t grab any money, when we escaped. So either she feels generous and gives me back my old house, but don’t get your hopes high. Id rather say, she wants me to pay or work for it. Maybe you could walk around and look for work. We need caps, quick. Ask around the saloon, maybe they have something. If I don’t get the job or my house, we have to stay there for a couple days and then… well we will see.”

“Eeeehm. So I should go to the saloon and ask for work?”

“Well that about sums it up, yes.” she said and smiled. “Questions?”

“Cant I come with you and… then well go together?”

“You could but it will be dark in a couple of hours and if we don’t have a place to sleep…”

“What then?”

“Do you want to sleep outside?”

“Really? Cant we just ask someone, maybe they’ll let us stay?”

“You don’t know Starshine. Don’t even try, they’ll kick you.” She said and sighed.

“Damn, ponies have problems here.” I mumbled.

„Its how it works. Youll get used to it. Nobody gives a flying fuck about anyone but themselves.”

“Okay, okay. Ill go look for work. Which one is the saloon?“

“The one you asked about earlier?”

“Awww. Come on. Really? I dont want to go in there.“

“Why not? Don’t like the look of some hot, oily mare?”

I raised my brow as answer.

“Just go. We’ll meet.”

“Where?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll find you. Good luck.“ She said and went inside the tower.

Look for work. Saloon. Place to sleep. Sun sets in a couple of hours. Dont want to see hot, oily mares. I couldn’t really say, that it didn’t tempt me a bit. But there were more important matters. Now first let’s find something to do. Whatever that could be.

So I started towards the house with the ponies doing… it on it. Just don’t think about it, Vex. No hot, oily mares rubbing together until… what did I say? That a no-no right now.

A couple of stallions sat in front of the saloon and looked at me. I blushed and went inside quickly, without looking at them. I could feel their eyes on me. I felt like hiding somewhere.

But even more when I got inside. I couldn’t believe what my eyes saw. Somehow better and worse, than what I expected. Mares were dancing on a stage. They all wore some kind of revealing clothes. I didn’t get it. Ponies didn’t normally wear clothes. Now they wore some and cut out pieces to reveal it again? Waste of material.

But their dancing. They were shaking their rumps like… they wanted me to… do stuff to them. I felt my blood leaving my head and a shiver run through my body. I quickly averted my eyes, just to see more mares dancing right on top of a stallion. Three of them and one stallion. He didn’t even look that good, why did he get… noooooo. Focus now.

Ignoring all the other things going on, I saw something resembling a bar and some filthy keeper behind it, scrubbing some dirty glasses. I went over to him and stood in front of the bar.

He looked at me and I looked at him. I tried to smile but somehow it wouldn’t work. So we stared at each other for a couple of moments, me with a weird look on my face, him ‘cleaning’ the glass which hovered in front of him. Unicorns. I envied them.

“He…hello.”

“Evening.” He answered in a deep voice.

He was chewing on something and wore a funny looking hat. His hide was dark brown and dirty. He didn’t look like he gave two bits about his appearance. I couldn’t say anything positive about his smell either. I tried to suppress the urge to wrinkle my nose.

“Im sorry, Im new here. Im… ehm looking for work?” I asked him with my voice quieter with every word.

“Pardon?”

“Im… looking for work.” I said again with a little bit more effort.

“Doesnt sound like it.”

“But… I am. Do you know something? To do? Like, to get caps?”

“’Course. 5 caps.”

“5 Caps?”

“Mhm.”

“Why? For what?”

“No caps, no information. Somethin’ else?”

“But…”

“Good.” He said and with that, turned around, walked through a door and was gone.

“Well that was interesting all right.” I said to myself.

Better leave this place. Ponies are weird in here. And the air smelled funny.

I turned around… and bumped into someone.

When I opened my eyes again I saw pink coat. Taking a few steps back I got a better picture of who I bumped into.

She was as beautiful as the sun was bright. That hide, green eyes and a lavender colored mane. She had such a slim body, but she still looked strong with those muscles. Her wings completed the picture of a heavenly beautiful mare.

I gawked at her with my mouth open.

“Hey.” She said with a voice like honey.

I couldn’t move, just stare.

“You were looking for work?” she said and threw me the most beautiful smile.

She was talking to me. Oh Celestia, oh Luna. Take me now, Im done with this life.

“So?” she asked and looked a little confused.

I felt, that I was drooling and closed my mouth, but that still didn’t make my head any clearer.

“Are you alright?” Now she looked seriously concerned.

Answer her for Luna’s sake. Come on, wake up.

“I… I am 16. I mean… Vex.” Awesome.

“Nice to meet you, Vex. Im Heaven.”

“Oh yes you are.” I mentally slapped myself.

“Excuse me?” She still smiled at me.

“I mean… ahem… Oh yes you are.” I repeated myself with a clearer voice.

What the heck is wrong with you?

She laughed. “Oh, you’re good. This is totally gonna work out.”

What?

“Listen, I have an offer for you. I heard youre looking for work and it seems like I have the perfect offer. Maybe you want to come with me for a walk?”

I didn’t feel like I was able to move an inch.

She turned around. “You comin’?”

My body followed her, while my head screamed at it to stay. This sounded to good to be true. Something was wrong, very wrong. But I had no control.

****************

She led me to a house a couple of houses away from the saloon. She opened the door and we went inside. It was very bright inside. Light shined through the windows and a couple of candles gave the room a cozy appearance. There was a sofa on the opposing side of the entrance and a bed to the right. On the left a door lead into a kitchen. Stairs on the doors left side led to another floor above.

“So what do you think?”

What did I think? I couldn’t say. My body still felt numb, but my brain worked like a machine. I tried to figure out what she wanted and what would happen. Was she dangerous? But she looked so good. Maybe a trap. But she was so nice to me. And she talked about work. Didn’t Lightning say, I should find work? Maybe it was best to hear her out. Maybe she had an interesting offer.

Didn’t she just say something? “Ehm… what?” I asked focusing my attention on her again.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking of many things. First of all why my body feels so weird.” Huh. Somehow the numbness slowly decreased. Maybe because I looked at something different than her.

But as soon as I diverted my attention to her, I felt my heart thumping again.

“Well. I can guess why. But that’s now why we’re here.” She said and smiled. “I heard you were looking for work, so I brought you here to make you an offer. A… friend of mine is looking for ponies, who have a rather… how to put it? She said and scratched her chin with a hoof, while looking down at the floor.

“Nice appearance?”

“Exactly. You’re a smart one. Even better. Yes, were looking for such mares. I guess you would like to know, what’s in for you.”

“Actually I would rather like to know, what I have to do for it. I’m not sure I’m suited for… that kind of work.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you know… ehm… that thing those mares did in the saloon… back there…”

“Oh no. No no no no no. That’s not what I am offering. Heaven’s no.”

I smiled at her. And she winked at me.

“So what is it that you’re offering?” I asked her. I was slowly growing impatient.

“Maybe I should just show you. It’s so much easier to understand, if you see it. It would take hours if I explained it to you.”

“I’m not sure. Is it dangerous?”

She laughed. “Of course not. Come on, do you think I would get you anywhere near danger and dare let anything happen to you?

That made me smile. She seemed to actually care about me.

“Well okay, if you think it will be easier. And Lightning told me to find work. So, why not? Lead on.”

“Did you say Lightning?”

“Ehm.. yes I did. She brought me here. Right now shes talking to Moonlight.”

“And youre her… what?”

“Ehm… friend I guess? I don’t know. I found her and weve been together ever since.”

“O..okay. Then just… follow me… okay?”

“Okay.”

She somehow seemed a little nervous. Since I had mentioned Lightning. What could that be about?

She went outside and I followed her, trying not to admire her rump so much. But the more I tried to look at the houses and other ponies, I felt the urge to look back at her. She was like a magnet for my eyes.

We went north onto the lane leading to another gate, with again two watchtowers at each side. Only one guard was atop of the left one. The other was empty.

“Do you hear that?” Heaven asked suddenly.

I cocked my ears. Nothing. Wait, there. Someone was calling.

Heaven looked around and I followed her sight. Behind us a pony was running after us. She… looked like Lightning. I smiled and waved at her. When she came closer I could see fear in her eyes.

I didn’t know why until I feld a sharp sting in my neck. Immediately my vision got blurry and I swayed, but managed to catch myself. I turned around my head to see what happened. But it all was just one bulk of colors. Then suddenly I felt the oh so well known tension rising in my body. But it was so immense, usually it started slowly. This time it hit me like a rock to my head.

Or maybe it was just the fact, that I indeed hit the ground with my head. My brain was working normally, but my body just felt all numb. This time not a good numbness but a weird feeling one.

I couldn’t see, but I managed to hear something. It sounded like Lightning was screaming at someone. I couldn’t determine any words, but she sounded afraid. Then there was a big thud and another one shortly after.

Some deep voices were talking and a nice sounding one. I think it was Heaven. I couldn’t feel my body but I knew that it was fighting whatever hit me. The numbness disappeared for brief moments and then reappeared shortly after. Like my tension was fighting the numbness or something.

It started in my head. I started to regain my sense of balance and felt that I was being carried by someone. My head hung down, while my body laid on some back, I guessed.

I hope it was Lightning, who carried me, otherwise. Oh, don’t think about it.

Aaargh. The tension was getting worse and it hurt. I felt my teeth clenching and squinnied my eyes. It seemed like I regained control of my head. I opened my eyes, but everything was still blurry.

“Lightning? Lightning?” I asked weakly. I feld my body hitting the ground again.

Owww. My head. What was going on?

I still couldn’t hear that good and again I only heard deep voices. But now they sounded afraid, too.

“…is she conscious? It should have put her out for hours.”

“I don’t know. She’s one of those crazy ones from the facility. Maybe the drugs they gave her work like an antidote.”

“Just smash her head then.”

“But Ham said he wants her unharmed.”

“Like I give a fuck.”

Two voices were arguing, while I tried to concentrate to regain the feeling of my body.

“What the hell is that?” one said and I could hear fear in his voice. Actual fear.

“I don’t know, run!” he shouted. Then hooves thudding on the ground. They actually ran away. What was happening now? Did something even more worse happen now?

Then I felt hooves surround me and pulling me into an embrace.

“Vex. Vex!” It was Lightning. “You need to calm down. Its happening again. Please.”

She sounded so weak. What had happened? And what did she mean, it was happening again?

“Vex, please. Listen. Calm down, think of happy thoughts. Think about your friends, anything.”

Then she screamed. “You’re hurting me. Please, Vex. Stop.”

I was what? I didn’t even know what was going on. Okay. Happy thoughts. Think about your friends. 21, 17. Lightning. Heaven? My body ached like I just ran a mareathon. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. I couldn’t concentrate. I was hurting her, I needed to stop whatever was happening.

21 and 17. Just now I thought about them. Where had they gone. They had been with us the time we entered. Since then I hadnt seen them anymore. I had thought they’d be behind me. What in Cadance’s name was going on?

Cadence? Princess? Somehow something in my head clicked. But I couldn’t say what. Somehow it made sense. Something was related to her. Cadence. It felt right.

Lightning cried. She was breathing heavily. But she still held me in her hooves. I was still hurting her. I tried to think happy thoughts, but it was so hard.

Her mane was brushing over my face. I remembered all the times we have been in this position. Me embracing her. She embracing me. We both needed comfort. We both had lost something. But she was still there for me. A real friend.

I slowly started to feel myself relax. It felt good to know that she was caring about me. She had said she wouldn’t abandon me. She wouldn’t let me die or go mad. Was that love?

Hah. Don’t be so foolish. You just met her. And she just met you.

Her breathing calmed and I started to regain control of my whole body.

Opening my eyes I stared at the ground. I saw sand. Blackened sand around us. A little further away it was just normal sand. Why?

“Lightning?” I asked weakly.

“Im here.” She answered as weakly as me.

“What happened?”

I felt myself starting to cry.

“It happened again. The thing… in the facility, that… killed those ponies. You hurt me.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry. I don’t know why. I cant control it. It just happens. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry.” I hugged her closer.

“I know.” She whispered. “I won’t let that happen again. I won’t leave you alone again. You’ll stay with me from now.”

“Why? I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to. You care for me. And I care for you. Don’t ever let me send you away on your own again.”

“Okay.”

We stayed like this for a while. Not a single other pony was seen. No sign of Heaven or those two other ponies.

When I felt like I had full control over my body again, I slowly pulled myself out of her embrace. She let go and looked at me.

“How is that possible?” I whispered. Lightning looked bruised… and burnt. Her hide was blackened and her head was bleeding.

“They hit me. You saw me running, but I couldn’t get there in time. They caught me right in front of you. I blacked out. As for the burning…” she went on. “That was you.”

A cold shiver ran down my spine. Me?

“I…I…what is that?” I felt disgusted. That was just… No… something in my body, hurting others and burning them? What the… I don’t…What?

“Why? It came so sudden. Normally I feel it coming.”

“I have no idea. They injected you with something. I saw a needle lying next to where you hit the ground.”

“What did they want with me?”

She shook her head.

“What do we do now?”

“Help me up. Well go visit and old friend nearby.”

“What about Moonlight and your job?”

She shook her head again. “I will tell you… later. First lets get to somewhere safe, where we can rest up. I feel like death.

That made me feel so bad, I started crying again. I didn’t want to hurt her. But I would never get far, if I just left her.

But what would be better? To live as a monster, hurting your friends and others or to die happily, knowing your friends are save and wont ever be hurt again?

****************