Titanium
Hearts and Hooves day. The worst time of the year. In my insignificant opinion, of course.
Here, tossed in a bench at the park, is me; a grayish stallion, with an equally monochromatic mane. I could easily pass myself as one of Pinkie Pie's relatives and nopony would ever notice the difference.
In my flanks a slightly faded heart as cutie mark, ironic isn't it? A heart-shaped cutie mark for a stallion who can't even feel love.
The story behind this symbol is quite the tragedy to hear, so I'll put it down in simple terms for you: When I was only five my mother died, and guess what? I didn't shed a tear. Not by my choice of course; I liked my mom but I simply couldn't feel anything more than that. A faint amusement at her existence.
It took some time for the others, until they truly understood my 'talent', and even today I can't say for sure that I truly understand it.
Anyway, as I mentioned before I don't appreciate Hearts and Hooves, and for obvious reasons; During all my life I have seen everypony else making friends, growing relationships, dating, marrying— And me? Well, except for a few relatives, I had absolutely nothing. And how could I have?
I prefer to die alone rather than live fake friendships and made up love stories.
But today, I can assure you something — It's definitely the worst day of my life — and the reason is quite simple, and can be defined with two names: Rose Luck.
Since I moved to Ponyville a couple of months ago, she has been the best mare a stallion could ever wish. She has shown me the town, made me company, and even helped me with all those changes. She was truly a friend. Whatever that is.
And that's the problem. Last night she came over to my house, I thought it was a casual friendly visit. But it wasn't... Rose kissed me, and declared her love right in front of me.
Rose was a beautiful mare, so of course I could say I loved her too, but in fact, I don't. And I don't think I'm capable of lying to her; It would be unfair with her feelings and degrading for me — as so for her.
For the first time in decades, I cried. I cried for me, and for Rose. I cried because I could never say those three stupid words.
Today I decided to walk on the park and have some fresh air, it was not a good idea though. It seems like every lovely couple in Equestria decided to stroll around here to share their happiness around me. And the worst of it is knowing that I could have been one of them.
I took a sit on a lonely bench, far from the others. I would likely take a nap and try to forget this thing. Fortunately I'm not into hard cider, otherwise I could probably become a compulsive alcoholic.
A faint sob caught my ears, maybe from another heart broken poor creature. The muffled sound was coming from behind a thick bush. I may have a loveless soul, but this wouldn't prevent me from helping somepony in need.
Silently as possible, I walked through the foliage searching for the crying pony. I instantly froze in place when I saw who was the responsible for those sobs.
"Rose?" I asked.
She abruptly jumped from her place when my voice echoed through the silent forest. Startled, Rose hurriedly tried to whip the tears out from her face, but it was too late.
"T-titanium?" She sniffed. "Wha- What are you doing here?" Her voice was shaky.
I walked into the spot in which she was hidden. Just a small glade among the woods, secluded from the rest of the park, vines and branches surrounded the place as luxuriant green curtains.
"I heard you. Are you— crying?" She was laying on the ground; hooves wet from her own tears, her pale yellowish coat looked slightly dirty from the forest moss, as well her mane.
It was a stupid question, it truly was. Of course she had been crying. "Rose- I... I'm so sorry." I tried to comfort her, but deeply I knew that my words were as hollow and empty as my heart. They were artificial, and plastic.
"S-sorry? How can you possibly be sorry Titanium? Y-you... You don't even tried!" Every time she cried, those beautiful green eyes lit up as two big emeralds. "Just... Go away, p-please"
Seeing Rose this way was just terrible; she was my friend after all. I wish I could do something, but just 'wishing' something won't make it happen.
I sat by her side and looked deeply inside those misty eyes; she cried, cried for me. Even acknowledging that our love would be impossible, she still persisted. Why? Why love someone that can only hurt you?
"Rose..." I muttered.
I hugged her tightly, not bothering to think if it meant something or not. I just wanted to feel her presence close to me.
We stayed like that; embraced. Just the two of us and nopony else to judge me. There, I felt her tears soaking my neck, her lost hopes in my hooves, her eyes wandering into the void.
We looked at each other, trying to find something, a lost piece of a nonexistent puzzle.
"Why am I like this?" I asked, more to myself than for her.
"How?" She whispered.
"Cold." I replied, touching her cheeks.
Rose raised her head, I could feel her warm breath on my face, I could smell her scent — of roses, naturally.
She kissed me again, there in the woods. I felt her still drenched hooves around my neck . And her pure and immaculate love filling every spot of my conscience.
We parted, and again our gazes met.
"No one- Are you listening?" I nodded with my head "No one in this world can say what you can't do. N-nothing Titanium, can stop love. Not me, not you, not even your cutie mark."
Rose grabbed my hoof, and pressed it against my own chest.
"You feel this?" She asked, listening closely to that pounding sound "It beats, Titanium."
For the first time in my life, I felt something I couldn't explain. It was like a spark, I can't really tell how a spark feels like, but I know that something anomalous happened in that glade. Something that was meant to happen.
I thought about all the singular moments I've lost because of what I was told — how many opportunities I lost and how many friends I had to let go.
Everypony said that my heart was cold as the northern ice caps. And I would accept that as a fact, I would believe them.
But not today.
"Rose." I caressed her messy but nonetheless silky mane. "Can you teach me... How to love?"
She smiled. We smiled.
There, inside my titanium heart I felt a tiny — yes, very tiny — but nonetheless genuine spark. Alone, I certainly couldn't make it grow. But I wasn't alone anymore.
Together we left that half-lit glade — we left it far behind — not willing to go back anymore.
We just walked around the park as night shrouded the land in a mantle of stars. My mood changed, my mind too. I can't say that my heart changed as well, but surely, something was different. Rose was there with me all the time, and that was enough to make me happy. I can say that today I've learned one of the most valuable things in this world:
Only you can master your own heart.
And love...
Love is a mystery you can't find it; for it has to find you.
But in this journey, I'm just beginning.
Author's Note
Happy Hearts And Hooves Day!
