Compatibility

My Dearest Princess Celestia,

Ever since my friends and I relinquished the Elements of Harmony to restore the Harmony Tree, I have been searching for alternative powers which can be used to protect Equestria. Following the events of Cadence and Shining Armor's nuptials, I have been intrigued by the idea of love (in the form of romance) as a powerful magic. Although the scientific explanation for "love" is merely an instinctual urge to further the survival of the species, it is clearly far more powerful than that. So, in order to confirm my hypotheses, I will be conducting an experiment to pair each of my friends with the most compatible stallion or mare (Rainbow Dash's barn door might swing in the other direction, if you know what I mean) in Ponyville. Spike will send you the results of my findings as they become available.

Your faithful colleague,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Must I sign each letter with "colleague" ? Princess or not I will forever be your faithful student.

o0o

"Thank you everypony for contributing to this study." Twilight trotted into the library. She produced a clipboard from the white lab coat she wore, and pulled a pencil out from behind her left ear.

"Of course Twi! I'm soooo excited, this will be sooo totally fun.... Wait a second, what are we doing again? It was a test to see how fun parties are, right? Oooh, ooh ooh ooh!!! I got it! A study on how delicious cupcakes-MMPH" The energetic pony was silenced by a muddy orange hoof covering her muzzle.

"Eew AJ, that is NOT chocolate!" Pinkie cried in disgust.

"Well then why'd you lick your lips genius?" Rainbow Dash rasped, her normal sarcastic grumpiness amplified by the fact that she had been woken from her afternoon nap for this.

"Dash darling, that is simply unacceptable, please do refrain from insulting Pinkie Pie. And AJ, you really should clean your hooves after a day out toiling on the farm." Rarity's chastising tone did not inspire repentance nearly as much as it did an exaggerated eye-roll, from Earth Pony and Pegasus alike.

"Everypony please, for the sake of science, just LET IT GO!" Twilight's unexpected outburst silenced everypony in the room, besides Fluttershy who let out a tiny whimper.

        "Good, now I have finished analyzing the results from your individual personality tests and paired you each with the most compatible unspoken for pony here in Ponyville. Your possible mates are waiting in my office here at the library. They have all agreed to take one of you on a date."

"Wow a date with an egghead playing paparazzi and recording our every move, what could be more fun?" Dash chuckled drily.

"Please say bingo! Please say bingo!"

"PINKIE!" Rainbow, Twilight, and Applejack  shouted simultaneously, their patience for her antics wearing thin.

"I will not be analyzing the dates themselves, just the results, and would you please quit calling me an 'egghead'?" Twilight begged, her frustration was beginning to show in her tone of voice.

"Pinkie Pie, because of your silly nature and carefree attitude, I have paired you with Pokey Pierce, you know him right? He has a party supply store on the other side of town. Braeburn and Cheese Sandwich were also candidates, but Braeburn might be your cousin, and Cheese is Celestia knows where."

"Okie Dokie Loki!" Pinkie Pie showed little concern for the whole affair. She and Spike had begun an intense game of tic tac toe, and Pinkie would not let anything distract her from victory.

"After you informed me that not all tomcolts are filly-foolers, I decided to pair you with Soarin' of the Wonderbolts. Oh, and Rainbow, he was very pleased with my decision." Twilight winked conspiratorially at the athletic mare.

"OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH!!!! Soarin'? The Soarin'? He is the most awesome, gorgeous, super-extra-ultra-extreme-awesomazing stallion ever. Twi you just got like 20% cooler, no 120% cooler!!!" Rainbow Dash's sour attitude evaporated instantly. In fact, her cyan face was flushed with unbridled excitement, and she could not contain a fit of giggles.

"Your welcome Dash, but it was no favor. You are highly compatible. Competitive spirits, athletic interests, confident personalities, the two of you were practically made for each other."

"Yes, yes dear, that's all lovely, but what about me?" Rarity stepped forward. They all knew she had an appetite for romance, but the was definitely more than a little eager.

"For you, I think that Thunderlane would be an exceptional match. Where you are ladylike, he is masculine, where you are confident, he is laid back. I think he could balance you out."

"Well he isn't as handsome as Trenderhoof or Prince Blueblood, but I should hope he's more chivalrous." She wasn't quite as excited as Twilight had hoped, but she wasn't dismissive either. It was a start.

"Applejack-" She was cut off before she could go any further.

"Ah dunno 'bout this Twi. Ah don't wanna force anything. Ya can't pick an apple if it tain't ripe." AJ shifted her weight from right to left and appeared to be very interested in something between her front hooves.

"Just humor me AJ" Twilight pleaded

"Well see, the truth is... The truth. AH ALREADY HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SOMEPONY YA HEAR!!! There ah said it. Caramel and I have been tryin' to keep it on the down low. Ah can't lie to y'all, and hidin' the truth's as good as tellin' a fib so now y'all know the truth." AJ glanced around the room nervously, sweat dripped down her muzzle.

"This is uncanny! The most compatible stallion I found was Caramel Candy as well. May I still use your relationship for the study?

"Uh sure Twi." The orange farm pony wrung her Stetson hat in her hooves nervously. She was completely at a loss for words.

"So that only leaves Fluttershy." At the mention of her name the bewildered yellow pegasus whimpered and backed herself into one of the far corners of the library.

"I-I don't know Twilight, do you really need me. Ummm... I uh think I forgot to feed Angel. Whoops better head back to my cottage." She whispered. Her eyes were like those of a trapped animal. You could practically smell the panic.

"Nonsense, because you are so shy, the most compatible pony for you, was somepony who wouldn't put any social pressure on you. Big Mac is your perfect stallion. He's shy just like you." Twilight clapped her hooves together enthusiastically. Fluttershy wilted under the pressure of her friends and nodded slowly!

"VICTORYYYYYY!!!!!" Pinkie shouted triumphantly. Which effectively sent Fluttershy under the nearest desk.

        "TIC TAC TOE IS MY BITCH!!!!!"Twilight wondered if the mare even remembered why she was in the library in the first place.