Compatibility

by PinkiePieOverlordOf All

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 4913

To further her knowledge on the magic of friendship, Twilight Sparkle investigates the magical properties of Romance.

When Twilight sets each of her friends up with the pony she thinks they are the most compatible with, she opens up a can of worms that no amount of duck tape will ever be able to close. I'm getting off topic here. Chaos, cheesy puns, Spontaneous combustion… It's all here. Maybe.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-13 06:32:53 UTC

Oh God Why

My Dearest Princess Celestia,

Ever since my friends and I relinquished the Elements of Harmony to restore the Harmony Tree, I have been searching for alternative powers which can be used to protect Equestria. Following the events of Cadence and Shining Armor's nuptials, I have been intrigued by the idea of love (in the form of romance) as a powerful magic. Although the scientific explanation for "love" is merely an instinctual urge to further the survival of the species, it is clearly far more powerful than that. So, in order to confirm my hypotheses, I will be conducting an experiment to pair each of my friends with the most compatible stallion or mare (Rainbow Dash's barn door might swing in the other direction, if you know what I mean) in Ponyville. Spike will send you the results of my findings as they become available.

Your faithful colleague,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Must I sign each letter with "colleague" ? Princess or not I will forever be your faithful student.

o0o

"Thank you everypony for contributing to this study." Twilight trotted into the library. She produced a clipboard from the white lab coat she wore, and pulled a pencil out from behind her left ear.

"Of course Twi! I'm soooo excited, this will be sooo totally fun.... Wait a second, what are we doing again? It was a test to see how fun parties are, right? Oooh, ooh ooh ooh!!! I got it! A study on how delicious cupcakes-MMPH" The energetic pony was silenced by a muddy orange hoof covering her muzzle.

"Eew AJ, that is NOT chocolate!" Pinkie cried in disgust.

"Well then why'd you lick your lips genius?" Rainbow Dash rasped, her normal sarcastic grumpiness amplified by the fact that she had been woken from her afternoon nap for this.

"Dash darling, that is simply unacceptable, please do refrain from insulting Pinkie Pie. And AJ, you really should clean your hooves after a day out toiling on the farm." Rarity's chastising tone did not inspire repentance nearly as much as it did an exaggerated eye-roll, from Earth Pony and Pegasus alike.

"Everypony please, for the sake of science, just LET IT GO!" Twilight's unexpected outburst silenced everypony in the room, besides Fluttershy who let out a tiny whimper.

        "Good, now I have finished analyzing the results from your individual personality tests and paired you each with the most compatible unspoken for pony here in Ponyville. Your possible mates are waiting in my office here at the library. They have all agreed to take one of you on a date."

"Wow a date with an egghead playing paparazzi and recording our every move, what could be more fun?" Dash chuckled drily.

"Please say bingo! Please say bingo!"

"PINKIE!" Rainbow, Twilight, and Applejack  shouted simultaneously, their patience for her antics wearing thin.

"I will not be analyzing the dates themselves, just the results, and would you please quit calling me an 'egghead'?" Twilight begged, her frustration was beginning to show in her tone of voice.

"Pinkie Pie, because of your silly nature and carefree attitude, I have paired you with Pokey Pierce, you know him right? He has a party supply store on the other side of town. Braeburn and Cheese Sandwich were also candidates, but Braeburn might be your cousin, and Cheese is Celestia knows where."

"Okie Dokie Loki!" Pinkie Pie showed little concern for the whole affair. She and Spike had begun an intense game of tic tac toe, and Pinkie would not let anything distract her from victory.

"After you informed me that not all tomcolts are filly-foolers, I decided to pair you with Soarin' of the Wonderbolts. Oh, and Rainbow, he was very pleased with my decision." Twilight winked conspiratorially at the athletic mare.

"OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH!!!! Soarin'? The Soarin'? He is the most awesome, gorgeous, super-extra-ultra-extreme-awesomazing stallion ever. Twi you just got like 20% cooler, no 120% cooler!!!" Rainbow Dash's sour attitude evaporated instantly. In fact, her cyan face was flushed with unbridled excitement, and she could not contain a fit of giggles.

"Your welcome Dash, but it was no favor. You are highly compatible. Competitive spirits, athletic interests, confident personalities, the two of you were practically made for each other."

"Yes, yes dear, that's all lovely, but what about me?" Rarity stepped forward. They all knew she had an appetite for romance, but the was definitely more than a little eager.

"For you, I think that Thunderlane would be an exceptional match. Where you are ladylike, he is masculine, where you are confident, he is laid back. I think he could balance you out."

"Well he isn't as handsome as Trenderhoof or Prince Blueblood, but I should hope he's more chivalrous." She wasn't quite as excited as Twilight had hoped, but she wasn't dismissive either. It was a start.

"Applejack-" She was cut off before she could go any further.

"Ah dunno 'bout this Twi. Ah don't wanna force anything. Ya can't pick an apple if it tain't ripe." AJ shifted her weight from right to left and appeared to be very interested in something between her front hooves.

"Just humor me AJ" Twilight pleaded

"Well see, the truth is... The truth. AH ALREADY HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SOMEPONY YA HEAR!!! There ah said it. Caramel and I have been tryin' to keep it on the down low. Ah can't lie to y'all, and hidin' the truth's as good as tellin' a fib so now y'all know the truth." AJ glanced around the room nervously, sweat dripped down her muzzle.

"This is uncanny! The most compatible stallion I found was Caramel Candy as well. May I still use your relationship for the study?

"Uh sure Twi." The orange farm pony wrung her Stetson hat in her hooves nervously. She was completely at a loss for words.

"So that only leaves Fluttershy." At the mention of her name the bewildered yellow pegasus whimpered and backed herself into one of the far corners of the library.

"I-I don't know Twilight, do you really need me. Ummm... I uh think I forgot to feed Angel. Whoops better head back to my cottage." She whispered. Her eyes were like those of a trapped animal. You could practically smell the panic.

"Nonsense, because you are so shy, the most compatible pony for you, was somepony who wouldn't put any social pressure on you. Big Mac is your perfect stallion. He's shy just like you." Twilight clapped her hooves together enthusiastically. Fluttershy wilted under the pressure of her friends and nodded slowly!

"VICTORYYYYYY!!!!!" Pinkie shouted triumphantly. Which effectively sent Fluttershy under the nearest desk.

        "TIC TAC TOE IS MY BITCH!!!!!"Twilight wondered if the mare even remembered why she was in the library in the first place.

Something Blue

"Wow...That's ermm quite a get-up.." Thunderlane murmured nervously. He had been told that their dinner was casual, so he wore only a blue bow tie. The flabbergasted pegasus had thought that he was overdressed. He had thought wrong.

"Well, yes my spectacular, authentic, original, peacock feather gown, is quite a 'get up', as it 'twere. Rarity's polished hooves made little quotation marks in the air.

"Get up" humph this gown is incredible. Now how can I have a scandalous affair with a stallion who cannot appreciate an ensemble such as this one? She complained to herself. Rarity was unsure of why Twilight would ever find her "compatible" with such a brute.

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me, you look stunning Miss Rarity." Sweat poured down Thunderlane's muzzle. "I just fear that I am somewhat underdressed." He glanced nervously at his lackluster tie. It was his second best bow tie, so why did it look so pitiful to him now? So lost in thought was he, that he did not see the outlandish grin that was devouring the dignified demeanor that Rarity had maintained until that point.

"Well I just so happen to have some dashing new designs in my stallion's fashion line, Colt Couture. I'm sure we can find something in your size." She batted her perfect eyelashes his way expectantly.

"I-I umm.." His voice trailed off as he stared straight into her eyes.

Why is she staring at me? Her eyes are gorgeous. Blue. My tie is blue. I'm wearing my tie for our date tonight. DATE, YOU'RE  ON A DATE!!! Snap out of it Thunderlane say something.

"Umm y-yes." He wasn't sure if she had even asked him a yes or no question.

Rarity's grin widened, as impossible as that seems, and she lead her entranced suitor into her workroom at Carousel Boutique .

%%%%

"There!!! You look simply marvelous darling! Lavender complements your coat handsomely." Rarity circled the blushing pegasus, scrutinizing the outfit she had chosen for him. When she was satisfied with her work she smiled up at him."Now, would such a dapper gentlecolt mind terribly, if I were to dispose of this garish tie. Blue is simply not your color, dear. Thunderlane winced inwardly, but smiled and nodded. If she thought the tie was "garish" then their was no reason that he should cling to it. He looked at the platinum watch that she had clasped around his hoof. It was 7:45.

"Excuse me, Miss Rarity, but I think we missed our dinner reservations. We were supposed to be at the café at 7:15." He gulped and ran a hoof through his silver mane.

"Ohh good heavens!" Rarity cried "You must think I have no manners at all. Here, you've been lovely all evening, and I must have gotten carried away. Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!!!" Tears welled in her eyes as she stared at her hooves dejectedly.

"Now Rarity, it's no skin off my flank, I'll enjoy your company reservations, or no." He lifted her chin with his hooves and kissed her softly on the cheek. The snow-white mare's cheeks flushed pink and she wrapped him in a tight hug. "Whadd'ya say we head over to my place for some daisy sandwiches. It's just across the plaza." He beamed at her reassuringly. "It is hardly the Grand Galloping Gala," he teased,"So we should probably leave these masterpieces behind." The ebony stallion gestured awkwardly at his ostentatious "get-up". Rarity blushed once more.

%%%%

Three hours later found them asleep on his sofa, a full night of Daring Do movies behind them. Rarity snuggled into Thunderlane's chest, and nuzzled him affectionately. He sighed groggily and smiled at the beautiful mare next to him.

"What time is it?" The unicorn asked with a most unladylike yawn.

"Nearly 11:00," Thunderlane's reply was accompanied by a yawn of his own."I've got 5 A.M. weather duty tomorrow morning, so I really ought to hit the hay. You're welcome to stay, I-I mean if you want to." He stood up off of the tattered couch in a futile attempt to hide the scarlet hew of his cheeks.

Come now Rarity dear, get a hold of yourself. It is only the first date after all and you are a lady of elegance and class. So why do I want to say yes? Oh, he is expecting a response, isn't he?

"I umm.. I .. Yes." The ivory mare's shocked expression mirrored the stunned look in her companion's eyes. She stumbled off of the couch as gracefully as she could, and followed Thunderlane to the bedroom. Fidgeting nervously, she climbed onto the lumpy mattress and slid under the tattered orange quilt that adorned it.

"Do you have a favorite side?" The pegasus stallion asked as he preened his wings. The blush had not faded from his cheeks yet. "O-of the bed.. You know to sleep in..."

"N-no I suppose not." Sapphire eyes glanced nervously around the room, as Rarity tried to figure out what to make of the awkward situation she faced. "I'm so sorry dear. I'm just unsure of your intentions. No no no, that came out wrong. What I meant waMMPH!!" She was silenced by a warm muzzle pressed against her own. In an instant Rarity's confusion melted away. She kissed back. It was all so clear now; she didn't want to stop, she didn't want to be civil, she didn't want to sleep. Lost in each other, Thunderlane and Rarity forgot about weather duty, garden parties, tornadoes, and the fact that Rumble was sleeping in the next room. It may not have been perfect. It probably wouldn't last forever. But from 12:00 to 3:45 A.M, they were in love.

%%%%

Rumble groaned as he rolled over in bed and shoved a pillow over his face.

"If I fall asleep in class tomorrow, then I'm telling Miss Cheerilee to put Thunderlane in detention." The tiny pegasus colt fell asleep plotting his epic revenge on his brother. Blissful dreams of pillowcases full of frosting danced in his head as he slept. Thunderlane would pay for this one.

Act Naturally is an Oxymoron

"You're right Gummy!!! The tarot card reading should go before the javelin death match!" Pinkie Pie squealed as she scribbled onto a notepad that had been recently marinated in pink glitter glue. "That way we'll know who survives the ritual sacrifice ahead of time. This will be the best 'Arbor Day Demolition Derby Date to the Death Party' ever!!!" The energetic mare bounced happily up to her room above Sugar Cube Corner. It was time to prepare the cotton candy booby trap.

%%%%

"Pinkie Pie, Are ya here?" Applejack swung open the doors of Sugar Cube Corner and trotted inside. The farm pony had too much on her mind to notice a thin length of wire that had been tied into a noose and left on the worn wooden floor of her favorite sweet shop.

She didn't notice that is, until it tightened around her left fore hoof and suspended her in the air, her muzzle just inches from the ground. "What in tarnation?!!" She struggled limply against her bonds, which did nothing but dislodge her Stetson hat.

"Awww AJ, now I have to reset my trap all over again," Pinkie Pie whined as she abandoned her hiding spot behind the cash register. Grabbing a pair of yellow and blue safety scissors, she approached her prone friend. "You silly goose, that trap was for Pokey!"

"OW!!! Pinkie!!! Warn me before ya cut me out of a trap next time. Or better yet: no more trapping me at all. Why'd ya wanna capture Pokey in the first place?" The orange mare asked quizzically as she dusted off her trademark Stetson, and replaced it on her head.

"Well duh! So we can have the best 'Arbor Day Demolition Derby Date to the Death Party' ever."

"Date to the death? Pinkie ah think you're missin' the point here. A date ain't about crazy gimmicks. Just try gettin' ta know Pokey instead." Applejack explained with a puzzled, but nonetheless reassuring smile on her face. "Ain't y'all ever been on a date before?"

"No, but Twilight says it's like a party, but only for two ponies. Gummy and I party by ourselves all the time... Am I dating Gummy?" The enthusiastic mare scooped her scaly pet into a suffocating hug.

"YAAAY!!! Gummy is my very special some-gator!!!"

"Sugarcube, ya can't date a critter. Yer very special somepony is a pony who loves you in a diff'rent way." The exasperated orange earth pony drawled as patiently as she could manage. "It's hard ta explain, but y'all will when ya feel it.

"Oh yeah, Know it when you feel it. Like breaking the fourth wall for the first time!!!"

"The fourth what now? Pinkie what Ah'm tryin' ta say is that ya'll should dismantle all yer traps, and just go out ta dinner with Poker. Ah'm sure the two a y'all will have a great time."

"Pokey."

"What?"

"You said 'Poker'. His name is Pokey. 'Poker' is a game drunk unicorns cheat at in Las Pegasus. Pokey is a cute stallion who gives balloons away for super duper cheap, because his pokariffic horn pops them all if he doesn't sell them fast." Pinkie folded her forehooves triumphantly across her chest

"Were ya even listenin' to a word Ah said? No traps! No traps, no dynamite, no ritual sacrifice, and NO time machines!"

"Applebloom told you about the time machine!!! But she Pinkie promised!!!"

"Ah'm gonna pretend ya didn't just say that. Sugarcube, ya gotta get ta know Pokey. He ain't gonna be as used ta yer... enthusiasm just yet. Bake some cupcakes, go see a play, feed the ducks at the pond in the park. Something that ain't at all life-threatnin'." Applejack's tone softened. "Pokey's gonna love y'all so much when he gets ta know ya like Ah do."

"Thanks AJ." Pinkie pulled her friend into a bone-shattering hug. A hug that might have lasted forever if the bell on the doors of Sugar Cube Corner hadn't made their familiar twinkly sound. "Ooh!!! He's here!!!" Pinkie hopped toward the front of the shop. "Err umm... Dates are only for two ponies so I'll see you later AJ." She grinned sheepishly as she ushered a smiling Applejack out the door.

"Alright alright, Ah get yer drift. Ah can find the door mah-self," Tilting back her Stetson, The blonde mare trotted through the glass doors, eliciting another twinkling from the bells positioned above it, and headed towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Ah can't ever tell if Pinkie's jokin' or not, but Ah think Ah might have just saved that stallion's life. Granny is not gonna believe this one. Applejack thought to herself as she approached the familiar orchards that meant she was close to home.

%%%%

"I'm so so SO glad you're here!!!" Pinkie Pie squealed excitedly, her muzzle just inches away from her startled guest. "We are going to have so much fun!!! I planned a HUGE party for us, but Applejack says that ritual sacrifice is bad. Instead we will be- drumroll please- MAKING COOKIES!!!" As she finished her announcement, the snare drum that had spontaneously materialized at her command was consumed by the curls of her cotton candy tail.

"Wow!!! C-can you teach me how to do that! Thatth tho cool!" Pokey Pierce cried enthusiastically. "Itth like you have thuper powerth or thomething!"

"Eh, it's mostly just natural-ish like my Pinkie Sense, but I could try. Say, you've always been so super duper quiet before, I never noticed your lisp!" The obnoxious (and more than a little oblivious) earth pony remarked as she bounced towards the Sugar Cube Corner kitchen. She did not notice when Pokey stopped dead in his tracks and fell onto his haunches with a dull thud. A single tear glistened in his eye before rolling lazily down his muzzle, leaving a streak of darkened blue fur in its wake.

"Tha-thatth why I don't talk tho much. I'm th-tho thorry, I'll try harder to fikth it!" The unicorn stallion had turned a deep shade of crimson that clashed horrendously with his deep blue coat. Rarity would have gone into cardiac arrest. Twice. Meanwhile Pinkie may have been doing just that. You see with Pinkie Pie, panicking or growing extra limbs or eating would have been normal. Anything but silence. She dropped onto her haunches, the same way Pokey had, and just sat there. The sobbing unicorn stallion, and the catatonic earth pony mare. Fifteen minutes passed before a sound was finally heard. It was familiar to Pokey. The sound of balloons deflating. He was the one who usually made that sound. Wiping the stray moisture from his eyes with a hoof, he looked up at Pinkie Pie. Only, she wasn't Pinkie Pie, not really. She looked like Pinkie Pie save one trait. A seemingly tiny trait, only not so tiny: huge. Her mane. It hung like a thick curtain around her shoulders. This wasn't Pinkie, not at all. Pokey was staring at a sad little lonely filly named Pinkamena, Pinkamena Diane Pie.

"I had a stutter." Rasped a voice that could rival Fluttershy's for inaudibility.

"Wha'd you thay?" Pokey sniffled weakly.

"I-I had a stutter. My whole foalhood I could barely make a sentence. When I turned nine and earned my cutie mark, I started going to school in Ponyville, and living with the Cakes. Everypony at school used to tease me and l-laugh at me. I couldn't even say my own name without humiliating myself. 'Oh look there goes Puh-Puh-Pinkamena Pi-Pi-Pie' . That's why I shortened it to Pinkie Pie in the first place. Laughter hurt me and then laughter healed me, and I will never forget that. I'm so so so sorry that I was a numbskull meanie bullypants to you, can you forgive me?" Somehow even the balloon's on her flank looked deflated. Her eyes were silvery with tears, her coat looked dull, her face was drenched with tears, and her mane reminded Pokey of a tree in December.

"Thank you." It was a small sentence, only two words, just eight letters and one period. This tiny sentence was uttered in mere seconds, but it would live forever for two ponies. The stallion who found somepony to believe in him, and the earth pony who found one to bring her down to earth. Two words inflated a fluffy pink mane, two words brushed the tears off of two smiling faces, two words ignited a friendship unlike any other Pinkie Pie had ever felt before. Two words made a blue unicorn and a pink party pony wonder if maybe they could have more than friendship. But it would begin with cookies, and a food fight for the ages.

Hayburger Horse

The yellow bird-horse is having a seizure again. She keeps whining about some kind of hayburger "Big Mac is coming! Big Mac is coming!" And she keeps squealing about her face-tail. "Oh Angel, I haven't even finished brushing my mane!' Apparently hayburgers are harsh critics. Why she calls me "Angel" I have no clue, but I, Stormageddon the King of the Rabbit Warriors, have grown fond of the bird-horse they call "Fluttershy" so I will destroy the source of her angst in a mighty hurricane of flames. Then she will have no choice but to marry love feed me.

%%%%

         "Twilight? A-are you home? I know this experiment is important to you, but I think you should tell Big Macintosh that I have the feather flu or something. I just can't do it. I can't go on a date..." The shy pegasus collapsed in a weepy mess on the floor of the Golden Oaks Library.

"Uhh... Fluttershy? Twilight's in Baltimare for the annual 'Baltimare Cinnamon Bun Parade'. She won't be back until tomorrow morning. You're just gonna have to tell Big Mac yourself." Spike informed the sobbing mare, as he waddled into the room with a stack of ancient tomes and a feather duster.

"WHAT!!! I-I could never do that... Can't you tell him? O-or maybe Applejack." Fluttershy  whispered in her 'I'd-rather-be-hiding-in-my-closet voice.'

"Sorry, I can't leave the library; Twilight's orders." Spike replied hastily, "And AJ is on a date with her coltfriend, so I don't think you'll be able to get a hold of her."

"Oh no! Well, I can't just bail on Big Mac without telling him," she drew in a deep breath and got back up on her hooves,"I'm just going to have to mare up and go on this date. How bad can it possibly be?"

"Well, there could be a flood, or a mob hit, or you could get attacked by a platoon of cybermares!" The little dragon offered helpfully.

"What's a 'cybermare?'" Fluttershy whimpered.

"Derpy told me about them. They're mares, only they're made out of metal." He explained in a disturbingly nonchalant manner, "They kill ponies because they don't have feelings."

"Poor dears, that must be so lonely, but they really should use their words." The yellow pegasus's innocence was sickeningly adorable, as she made her way to the library's worn oak door.

"I'll be sure to tell them next time we hang out?" Spike asked. If Fluttershy picked up on his expertly concealed sarcasm she showed no sign of it as she flew towards the farmer's market to buy some food to cook for her date.

%%%%

"Oh Angel I think he's here. Do I look okay? Maybe I should just cancel. Is it too late to cancel?" Fluttershy's nervous face retreated into her plush pink mane. "Did he just knock? That's so polite of him. Someponies just barge in, but Big Macintosh knocks." The flustered mare gushed. Startled out of her daydreaming by a second knock at her door, a trembling Fluttershy rushed towards the entrance to her cottage home,and inched it open, as if she expected Iron Will to be waiting for her.

"Oh Big Macintosh, you're here...."

"Eeyup."

"Would you like to come in?"

"Eeyup."

The trembling yellow mare led the silent farmhoof into her zoo-like home.

"Can I take your...umm...yoke?"

        "Nope." Big Mac's baritone voice murmured,"I mean thank ya kindly Miss Fluttershy, but I jus' feel a bit naked without it." The calm stallion sounded flustered, but Fluttershy didn't notice. She was too distracted by the butterflies that had made their home in the pit of her stomach. She was so distracted by these metaphoric insects that she failed to notice a certain fluffy overlord bouncing into the kitchen with a cart full of fireworks and a very indignant flamingo.

%%%%

It begins...

"SQWAWK"

"Hush pink giraffe-chicken!"

They'll never see it coming...

A salad bowl flew across the hectic and crowded kitchen as Fluttershy and the Hayburger Horse entered the headquarters of Overlord Stormageddon.

"Who threw that?" The beautiful bird-horse cried.

"She' onto us! Operation Siren initiate! Private DeathBeak, BATTLE STATIONS!!! This is not a drill!!!"

"Squeak squeak squeeeeeaaak!"

%%%%

"Oh is that you Hummingway? What a lovely song you're humming."

"Speakin' of songs, Missy, y'all got yerself a mighty pretty voice... I-If ya don't mind mah sayin'." The stoic red workhorse broke the awkward silence between the two of them. A timid smile spread across his freckled muzzle.

"Oh why thank you Big Mac, it means so much coming from you.... Because you're such a great singer...I-I didn't mean it like.... That c-came out wrong." A deep blush permeated her canary yellow face. The rosy hew made her indescribably beautiful which naturally elicited a response of 'Eeyup' from the infatuated stallion.

"Should we maybe get started on dinner?"

"Eeyup."

"O-okay follow me I guess."

The two of them headed toward the cupboard at the far end of the kitchen. Big Mac was staring at her tail. Stormageddon noticed. Stormageddon notices everything. Before the pair could react, a feathery pink missile shot out of the dishwasher and slammed into the wall next to the stunned Big Macintosh's head.

"FLUTTERSHY!!!" He shouted. The pegasus mare had been hovering about two and a half feet above the cottage floor. The firework-powered projectile had startled her into a faint and she was free falling.... From less than three feet high. Big Macintosh sprung into action and slid beneath her to break her fall.

"Eep!! What happened?" She cried, "What in Equestria was that?" She ran towards the bird-shaped hole in her wall.

"Pinkie Pie!!!" Fluttershy shouted as she ran to her injured pet.

"Pinkie Pah is here? That explains a lot." The Earth pony muttered as he squeezed through the damaged wall and trotted to Fluttershy's side.

"No, that's my flamingo. He's named after her, but he does seem to have Pinkie's knack for defying logic, science, and basically anything that should be impossible to defy."

"Still explains a lot. Is he okay? Yeah, this pile of leaves broke his fall, but he never acts like this. I have a bunny to talk to." The timid and somewhat livid pegasus flew faster than Big Mac thought possible, as she made her way to a certain mischief maker's favorite spot on the sofa.

"Angel!!! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Hello my fair bird-horse." Stormageddon squeaked in his suavest bunny-voice.

"Angel, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I have told you time and again that you shouldn't play with explosives, and to not call me 'bird-horse!'"

"So y'all can really understand them can't ya?" The awe-struck Apple asked incredulously, "All Ah here is some crazy squeakin.'"

"Yes, and they can understand us, which is why it's so odd that he still insists on calling you 'Hayburger Horse.' It doesn't matter though, he's still grounded... That's right Stormy no World of Warhorse for a month." She scolded sternly.

"So... Umm what do you wanna-MMPH!" The confused stallion kissed her... Badly. Angel kicked and bit at his hooves, but the tank-sized Big Mac didn't notice.

        "Y'all are the most incredible, beautiful, and bizarre mare Ah have ever met." He whispered breathlessly. Fluttershy pulled away, became interested in the ground between her hooves, and then mustered up her courage and kissed his cheek.

"So, err wanna jus' go to a movie next tahm?" He asked, grinning foolishly.

"Yeah... Let's go now, the new Wonderbolts movie is premiering tonight, and it will give somebunny some time to think about what he did.

Stormageddon thought. He thought that this wasn't over. He thought about how much it cost to hire Chuck Neighrris. And most of all, he thought of how easy it was going to be to play World of Warhorse while the stupid horse-brains went to the movies.