Help Yourself

by dramatic_spoon

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Doctor Whooves, Romance
Length: 1765

Hearts and Hooves Day with Time Turner and Rainbow Dash

It's Hearts and Hooves day, and Rainbow Dash wants to spend it with Time Turner.

After inviting him over to her place for dinner, things should be alright, right?

...Right?

continuing the story set down by Resurrection Beat and It's Not Unusual

Published 2014-02-14 10:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-14 10:20:01 UTC

Holding You Tight

“…Hey, Turner?”

“Hmm?” The brown stallion looked up from his crossword puzzle. Rainbow Dash nervously shifted from side to side, avoiding eye contact. Time Turner placed his pencil down, and turned his attention to his marefriend.

“Something a matter, Dash?”

“Well, you know what today is, so I was wondering…I mean…”

“What’s today?” Time Turner interrupted Dash’s muttering. The mare’s stuttering quickly gave way to a mix of disappointment and annoyance.

“You don’t know what today is?”

“…It’s not your Birthday, is it?” Time Turner frowned, “I already apologize about last year, Ditzy thought it was a great idea to bring tha-”

“It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, you idiot.”

Time Turner paused midrant, before mumbling something to himself as he sketched several numbers with his fore hooves. After several moments, the stallion broke out into an awkward, embarrassed grin.
“…I forgot.”

Dash rubbed her temples before continuing, “I should have known. Aaanyway, I wanted to invite you over for dinner.”

“Sure,” Time Turner shrugged, “what should I bring? Before you say rum, Berry refuses to give me any more after what happened last time.”

“Brandy, bring Brandy. See you tonight.”

Dash leaned over and gave the stallion a quick peck on the cheek before taking off.

---

Dash trotted down through the shops, stopping in front of one of the sellers. The mare began to examine the potatoes, inspecting them for quality.

“How much for a dozen, Ida?”

The potato farmer, a red earth mare, paused for a moment.
“Ten bits.”

“Can’t you make it eight?”

“Ten bits.” The mare remained firm, “No more, no less.”

“Hardass.” Dash grumbled as she tossed several coins onto the counter. The earth mare placed twelve potatoes into Dash’s saddlebag, and smiled.

“Have a nice day.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Dash trotted away, muttering to herself.
“Got the garlic, the potatoes, the nuts are at home, got the zucchini, eggplants, spinach, beets…
Lemons, I need lemons.”

“Hey Dash!”

The pegasus looked up as Cloudchaser and Flitter approached her.

“Flit, Chaser. What are you guys doing here?”

“Picking up some stuff for tonight,” Cloudchaser shrugged, “Flitter’s going over to Cloudsdale to have dinner with Lane’s folks, and Mac and I are going to have a nice romantic one. What about you?”

“Picking up some stuff for when Turner comes over for dinner.”

“You cook?” an astonished Flitter replied.

“Yes, I can cook. I don’t know why everypony thinks I can’t.” Dash began to rant, “I don’t usually cook because there’s no pony else in my house, so wh-”

“Wait, wait, wait…” Cloudchaser interrupted her, “Turner is going over to your place for dinner.”

“Yeah.”

“Turner is going to your place.” Cloudchaser repeated, placing emphasis on the first and last words.

“What is this, let’s interrogate Dash day?” the mare rolled her eyes, “Can’t I invite a guy over for dinner?”

The twins exchanged quick glances.

“Dash…how’s he going to walk in there?” Flitter asked, “You live in a cloud house, remember?”

Dash opened her mouth to reply, pausing at the last minute. Her eyes grew wide as she suddenly realized her mistake.

“Shit.”

---

Time Turner looked up into the sky. Above him, Dash’s house floated along, lights ablaze.

“…Well she’s definitely home.”

The stallion looked back at the ground, back up to the house, and back down.

“…I wonder if she has some kind of doorbell down here…”

As he said that, something flew out of the doorway of the house. Rainbow Dash, still wearing an apron, landed in front of the earth stallion.

“Hi Turner!” the mare flashed an embarrassed grin, “Listen…I’m almost done, so give me a bit and we’ll take the dinner to your place.”

“We can’t. My place is being fumigated for termites.” The stallion shook his head.

“…Seriously?” the grin fell from Dash’s face, “…You wouldn’t happen to know anypony who knows the cloudwalking spell, do you?”

“Doesn’t Twilight know it?”

“She’s off in Canterlot with her coltfriend,” Dash rolled her eyes, “Well…guess we don’t have a choice. Get on my back.”

“…Serious?”

“Just do it.”

With a shrug, Time Turner began to crawl onto Dash’s back, awkwardly positioning himself. After several moments, his grip tightened around her neck.

“Turner you are fat.” Dash grumbled, “Hold on tight.”

Dash took off, quickly landing on her doorstep. Time Turner groaned as began to crawl off.

“Don’t do that, you’re going to fall,” Dash scolded the stallion, “Let’s get inside.”

The mare pulled open the door and entered. Time Turner looked around the living room as he passed; the room was largely bare, save a simple sofa, coffee table, and a bookshelf filled with tattered copies of the Daring Do series and Fliers Weekly magazines. As the mare passed into the dining room, he took note of a picture on the wall: a family portrait. On the left of the picture was a pink pegasus mare with a blue-purple mane, smiling coyly at the rainbow-maned blue pegasus stallion on the right. Between the two, a young Rainbow Dash beamed at the camera.

“My chairs are all treated so they don’t fall, so just stay on that for now.”

Dash eased the stallion onto the chair as she went back into the kitchen.

“Like I said, it’s almost done.”

“I’ll just wait here…”

The stallion began to unpack his satchel, pulling out a bottle of wine and placing it on the table. As he did so, something caught his eye. Tank flew into the room, carefully eyeing the stallion.

“…You never told me you had a turtle.”

“Tortoise.” Dash corrected, “His name is Tank.”

Time Turner and Tank continued to eye one another, until the tortoise broke eye contact, and flew into the kitchen. Dash glided out of the kitchen, carrying three platters of food and placing them onto the table. Time Turner looked over them: a platter of fried eggplant and zucchini, roasted beets and a creamy, off-yellow paste, a platter filled with rice mixed with spinach and fried eggs, and a mixture of cooked dandelion, fennel, chicory and other leafy greens.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” the stallion blushed.

Dash rolled her eyes, “why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Well, you live alone, you’re rather tomboyish, and well, some ponies think you’re lazy,” Time Turner noted, “add all of that together, and it makes it unlikely that you cook.”

“It’s one of the things Granny Albatross liked to do with me.”

“It’s all Skyrosian cuisine, isn’t it?” Time Turner looked over the dishes again.

“Yeah, its skordalia with eggplant, zucchini and beets, khorta with lemon and dill, and spanakorizo.”

“Never had it before.”

Dash spooned a helping of spanakorizo onto a plate, followed by several slices of eggplant topped with skordalia and a helping of khorta and placed it by Time Turner. The stallion broke out into a mischievous grin.

“Aren’t you going to help me eat?”

“No way,” Dash returned the smile, “It’s more romantic if you do it.”

The stallion shrugged as he began to get out of his chair, “If you insi-”

As soon as he stepped out of his chair, Time Turner slipped through the clouds, falling out of the house.

“HOLY SHIT!” Dash dropped her plate and dived down, through her floor after him. As the stallion plummeted to the ground, Dash sped up and finally managed to grab him, gripping him tightly to her chest. As she swooped back up, she looked at the terrified stallion.

“You alright Turner?”

“Dash, next time we’re going to eat someplace on the ground. As in forver.” He whimpered.

“Yeah, this wasn’t my best idea…” Dash admitted, “I could have planned this better.”

---

Time Turner placed his glass of alcohol back onto the table, as Dash finished off the last of the skordalia.

“Where did you even get this from?” He asked, admiring the remaining liquor in the bottle, “It’s fantastic.”

“It’s rakia made from zap apples and figs,” Dash responded, “It’s hard to get, so I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”

“I suppose Hearts and Hooves Day counts,” the stallion mused.

“…You wanna stay over for the night?” Dash asked, “I mean, I’m sure you’re staying with someone, since, you know, your place is getting fumigated and all, but…”

“I’m staying with Caramel,” Turner rolled his eyes, “He and Fluttershy have…shall we say they’re no where near as quiet as they think they are. I mean all the groaning and moaning and-”

“I really don’t want to hear about that,” Dash cut him off, “I mean, I really don’t want to hear that.”

“…I’m trying to forget it,” Time Turner drained the rest of his glass and filled it up again, “I really like this, the figs add a very earthy flavor that doesn’t overpower the zap apples.”

“So is that yes or a no?”

“Provided that I don’t fall out off your sofa and plummet to my death, yes.” Turner chuckled.

“The bedroom floor is enchanted to prevent that,” Dash filled her own glass and took a drink, “So is the bathroom most of the hallway and living room. I don’t normally have dinner guest so…saves money.”

“…Wait, you keep a sofa for people to sleep on in your bedroom?” Time Turner frowned at the thought.

“No, you idiot. If you’re going to stay here for the night, wouldn’t you rather spend it sleeping in your marefriend’s bed?”

“…But I didn’t bring any p-”

“Not like that,” Dash cut him off, “A little less action, a bit more romance.”

“…I’d like that,” Time Turner smiled, “But I think I’d like to spend a bit more time talking before that.”

The two refilled their glasses before Dash dragged her chair closer to him. After retaking her seat, the mare snuggled Turner and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Turner.”

“Same to you Dashie,” Time Turner paused, “At least it’s a memorable one, I can see it now...
It’ll be in the future after we have Time Turner Jr-”

“That’s a stupid name,” Dash jokingly cut in.

“…Fine, Royal Pendulum, will be wondering and he’ll ask us those words we will cherish so much…
‘Dad, what did you and mom do on your first Hearts and Hooves Day?’
‘Well son, I almost died…’.” Time Turner chuckled.

“…Why do you keep assuming we’re going to have kids?” Dash rolled her eyes, “Kids are a hoofful.
And kind of annoying.”

“Well, people change their minds when they get older.” Time Turner shrugged.

“Pffft. As if,” Dash shook her head, “I’m never having kids.”