Don't Mess with Twilight's Books!
“Don’t Mess with Twilight’s Books!”
Do You See That Stain?
Twilight was practically bouncing around the library in excitement, shouting out yes with each bounce. Her racket was so loud that it woke Spike from his slumber upstairs, a very hard thing to do to the baby dragon. He covered his ears with his pillow in an effort to block out the noise but it was no use. Grumbling, he got up and walked downstairs.
“Twilight, it’s one in the morning! Someponies are trying to sleep around here, like you should be!”
“Sorry Spike. I’m just too excited because—”
Spike held up a claw. “Let me guess, we’re getting another book for the library.”
“Not just any book Spike! It’s the newest edition of Daring Do!” She clapped her hooves together and let out a little squeal of delight.
“So?” Spike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “It’s not any different from the other ten you got from Barns and Stables!”
“That’s just it Spike! This is the first edition signed by A.K. Yearling herself! I’m gonna be one of the first ponies to have it in all of Equestria!”
Spike facepalmed. “Please tell me we’re not having another two week camping trip in front of the store.”
“Not this time. A.K. Yearling herself wrote me this letter saying that she would be sending me the first copy, signed with a personalized message, as thanks for my help in her latest adventure!” She levitated over a scroll to float beside her.
Spike raised an eyebrow, figuring the lack of sleep was finally taking its toll on the mind of the purple unicorn. “When did you go on an adventure with Daring Do, other than that last time with those golden rings in that temple?”
“Three weeks ago when you were taking one of your infamous seven hour bubble baths, A.K Yearling visited me. She asked for some books on Saddle Arabian culture and any myths or stories pertaining to the surrounding area. I found a few and let her borrow them. Turns out one of those stories are true and my book had important info in it, allowing Daring to retrieve the treasure!”
Spike held his claw out. “Mind if I take a look at the letter?” Spike had only seen the hoofwriting of A.K. Yearling once before but the little drake had a photographic memory, one of the things he picked up on from being Twilight’s assistant. If this letter turned out to be fake, then may Celestia have mercy on the poor fools who pulled this prank. Sleep is one of the few things you never interrupt Spike for.
“Sure thing, Spike.” Twilight levitated the scroll over to him. He grabbed it from her magical grasp and studied it. After his examination, Spike hung his head and sighed. This letter was indeed genuine, right down to the way she slanted her writing to the left. He rolled it back up and threw it on a nearby desk littered with other scrolls.
“Alright, you’re getting a new book. Can we please go get some sleep now?”
Twilight yawned. She didn’t realize until now how tired she was. “Alright,” She started up the stairs, Spike right behind her, “But I’m getting up at seven so I expect you to get up as well. Sleeping in all morning isn’t good for your health.”
Spike sighed. Out of all the ponies in Equestria, he gets stuck with the early bird. Why does it always seem like the world has it out for him?
Twilight woke up exactly at seven the next morning. She let out a content sigh over her dreams last night. She was having a very intellectual conversation with Starswirl the Bearded over his theories in the book, “Magical Mysteries and Conundrums: A Practical Look at the Impracticalities of Magic, Second Edition” … Twilight jumped out of bed, her covers landing in a heap on the floor. She nearly forgot about her book due to arrive today! She rushed over the window and threw open the curtains, letting brilliant rays of sun into the room. She threw open the window and cleared her throat. “Morning in Ponyville shimmers! Morning—”
“No! We are not doing singing this early in the morning!” Spike shouted from inside his ball of blankets.
When they still lived with their parents, Shining Armor had a strict training regime that started at exactly six in the morning. She knew exactly how Spike felt being awakened early in the morning by somepony else. Twilight mentally chuckled at Spike. She walked over and stood right beside his basket. “Come on, Spike, it’s a beautiful day outside.”
“But I don’t wanna get up!” The covers shifted slightly.
“I’ll give you five more minutes but then after that, I’m bringing up the water bucket, Mister Grumpy Scales.” She smirked since this was a surefire way to make Spike get up. Without waiting for a response, she turned and went downstairs.
She busied herself with making a breakfast consisting of eggs and hay bacon. Before she sat down at the table, Twilight turned and looked at the clock hanging on the wall. She smiled. Spike only had thirty seconds left. Just then, she heard the familiar creak in the stairs. Shoot, she thought. It’s been so long since I had to break out the bucket that I kinda miss it.
Spike leaned against the kitchen doorframe and smirked, all signs of his attitude from last night and this morning gone. “You know I can’t resist the smell of hay bacon.”
Twilight grinned. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” They ate their breakfast in silence until a knock on the front door broke the silence. Twilight jumped up from the table and ran to the door, throwing it open. Standing on the other side is a grey, wall-eyed pegasi with a blond mane, a square package neatly wrapped in brown paper on her back. “Thanks!” Twilight gripped the package with her magical aura and runs back inside, slamming the door in the face of the mailmare.
“Spike, get the coffee going! I’ll be in my special reading spot!” Twilight yelled as she went up the stairs.
“Right away, Twilight!”
Twilight went over to her spot in the corner on the second floor and plopped down on a beanbag chair. She was quivering in excitement, trying to contain herself to not rip open the packaging right there. She wanted to savor the moment. She carefully grasped the little flaps on one end of the packaging and slowly lifted upwards, relishing the little crinkles she heard. Once those were open, she held the packaging up so that the opening was facing down. She slowly let the book fall out, squealing in delight as the bottom of the front cover came into view. Not wanting to wait any longer, she grasped the book and pulled. It easily slid out of the packaging, which Twilight threw aside. She stared in awe at the artwork. “Daring Do and the Land of the Dead!” It screamed in red lettering over a picture of Daring running through a graveyard, skeletal hoofs reaching up from multiple graves. She shoved the book right up to her muzzle and took a big whiff. She moaned in pleasure as the smell of freshly printed ink and that new book smell hit her.
“Am I interrupting something?” Spike said from the top of the steps, holding a cup of black coffee and smirking at the purple unicorn’s reaction to the new book.
Twilight pulled the book away from her and turned to Spike, blushing at having been caught. “No… Nothing at all.” She grasped the cup of coffee from Spike and levitated it over. Taking a small sip, she grinned at Spike. “How about you take the day off? I heard Rarity is going on another of her gem hunts.”
“Are you sure? I could stay here and help reorganize the bookshelves.” Spike played with his claws, glancing at the door and back to Twilight.
“I’m sure Spike. I’ll be too busy with this to do anything else today.” This was Twilight’s polite way of saying get lost.
“Thanks Twilight!” Spike yelled as he rushed down the stairs and out the door.
Twilight heard the door slam shut and she just chuckled lightly. She honestly hoped Spike would grow out of his Rarity crush but she knew that would never happen in her lifetime. She shook her head. She had more important things to do right now than worry about Spike’s love life. Twilight fidgeted until she found a comfortable position to lie down on the beanbag chair. Her coffee floating right beside her, she flipped open the first page to read the preview of a later chapter. She sighed in content, ready to—
“Look out below!” Before Twilight could react, a rainbow blur crashed through her window and into her, knocking her to the ground. Twilight groaned and sat up, rubbing her forehead. “Heh, sorry about that Twilight.” Twilight opened her eyes to see Rainbow Dash sitting in front of her.
“Rainbow Dash! How many times have I told you to use the door?!”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “I don’t know, like six?”
“No, it’s twenty-five now!” She sighed and looked around. She saw her coffee mug, now shattered, on the ground and her book… Twilight’s eyes went wide. Sitting right at the edge of the coffee puddle was her book, now flipped open to a random page. Oh no, she thought. With surprising speed, she jumped up and ran over to a nearby desk, grabbing the book in her magic along the way. Twilight was vaguely aware of Rainbow Dash’s voice asking her a question, but that didn’t matter right now. She set the book down on the desk and examined every square inch of the front and back cover for any sort of stain from the coffee. She didn’t see anything wrong and was about to let out a sigh of relief when a thought occurred to her. What if the pages have a stain on them?!
She flipped through the book looking for any size stain. She stopped at page eighty-nine and her eyes went wide. To the naked eye, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong but to Twilight’s eyes, it was as noticeable as the sun on a clear day. There, smack dab in the middle of the page, was a tiny stain about the size of a period or two. Twilight felt her rage boil within her. Her brand new, one of a kind, book now ruined because of Rainbow Dash making her drop her coffee!
“I’m just gonna go now…” Rainbow pointed at the window and started to walk towards it.
Twilight took a deep breath and smiled, turning to look at Rainbow. “Actually, Rainbow, would you mind helping me with something?”
Rainbow stopped and turned around, not noticing that Twilight’s left eye was slightly twitching. “Uh, sure thing, Twi.” She walked towards Twilight.
Twilight stepped off to the side and motioned towards the book. “Do you see a stain on this page?”
Rainbow stopped in front of the book and put a hoof to her chin. She studied the page as best as she could but didn’t see anything wrong. She shook her head. “Sorry, Twi, but I don’t see anything.”
“Oh really,” Twilight gripped Rainbow’s head with her magic and slammed it onto the book with a loud thud, “How about now?” Twilight lifted Rainbow’s head back up and flipped the page while Rainbow groaned in pain. “Oh look, the stain soaked through to this page.” Again, Twilight slammed Rainbow’s head onto the book. Twilight continued with this, slamming Rainbow’s head each time a stain was found, until she reached the end of the book.
Twilight released her grip. Rainbow stumbled backwards, swaying back and forth and her eyes spinning. “Did we won?” She slurred before falling over unconscious.
Twilight heard the door shut and the stairs creak. “Sorry Twilight, I forgot my…” Spike stopped at the top of the steps and took in the scene before him. He sighed and shook his head. “I’ll get Nurse Redheart. What should I tell her this time?”
“Tell her Rainbow fell down the steps… Again.” Spike nodded and went back downstairs. Twilight prepared herself to cast her mind wiping spell that would erase Rainbow’s memory of what just happened.
Even if you are her friend, don’t ever mess with Twilight’s books.
