A Letter Home

by Starlight Phoenix

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Other
Length: 2403

Sunset Shimmer writes a letter back home, explaining why she left Equestria.

When Sunset Shimmer left Equestria through the Mirror Portal, she did so in a state of shock, sadness, and anger. All alone in a new world, she struggled to find her way. Now, in a letter to a her younger brother back in Equestria, she recounts her feelings and the reasons she came through the portal on that fateful day.

This story was written for the Everfree Northwest 2014 Writing Competition. Its stipulations stated to "Show an established My Little Pony villain or rival either being redeemed or showing them in a positive light." There was a limit of 1000-3000 words.

I got the idea for this story during my Modern Physics class. I was sitting there, looking out the window, and the idea for the opening came to me while I watched the clouds. I wrote that out then and there, but then wasn't too sure how to proceed. So I kept writing what came to mind, and later that evening, I realized exactly what to write. That's the first time that something like that has ever happened to me. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy.

[Author's Note: This story was written between S04E13 and S04E14, so if anything past then contradicts this story, it's not my fault.]
[Second Note: I love feedback! Please let me know what you think in the comments.]

Published 2014-02-26 01:20:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-26 01:20:08 UTC

A Letter Home

Dearest Brother,

It has been a long time, hasn't it?  I am sorry that I am unable to visit you myself, but I must stay where I am and help this world to the best of my abilities.  Know that all of my love is with you and that I will come to you as soon as I am able.  Until then, I will relate to you why I left Equestria.

The sky was an angry purple on the day I left our home.  Clouds hung low in the sky, their swollen bellies threatening a torrential downpour.  Lightning flickered occasionally overhead, illuminating the clouds from inside.  Thunder rumbled angrily, the voice of the clouds denouncing me.  “FAILURE,” it boomed, its great voice rolling across the land.  Trees shook in the wind, their leaves rustling as though whispering admonitions to me.  “Failure, failure,” they called.  The roiling chaos of the skies mirrored the turmoil I felt inside.  I stood on the gravel path and watched as the first few drops made dark impressions on the dusty road.

I walked down the path as rain began to pour down around me.  It fell heavily all about, and soon my coat was drenched.  What had gone wrong?  They all said that it was impossible.  Had they really been right all along?  I stared up at the sky, the rain mingling with the tears on my face.  I had done all that I could, so why hadn't it worked?  I glanced back at the town and saw ponies hurrying out towards me.  Turning away, I ran down the path as fast as I could; talking with other ponies was the last thing I wanted right now.  As I ran, the rain continued to fall, and I wondered just what had gone wrong.  I had done everything that the spells had said.  They had been the result of years of study and hard research.  I had sacrificed so very much for you.

I remember the day it all began, just a few short years ago.  In those days, everything was wonderful.  The sun shone brightly, and the air sparkled.  I had just been accepted into Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.  My achievements you felt as your own, and you rejoiced with me at this new opportunity for me.  I spent the days learning and sharing my new knowledge with you.  But then, one day, the doctor told me the horrible news.  You were sick, and there was nothing they could do.  That it was a slow illness, and you had two, maybe three years to live.  That you would slowly lose strength, and have to spend the last months of our life confined to your bed, unable to play under the bright blue sky you loved.  That was the day everything changed.

Throwing myself into my studies, I vowed to do all that I could to help you.  I scoured the library time and time again, knowing that there surely must be something to help you.  I read thousands of books, rediscovered old spells, and found lost artifacts.  My teachers praised me, saying that I was their best pupil, that I had done things other unicorns only dreamed of, that I would reinvent magic.  But none of that mattered to me.  I had no time to care about what they thought.  Every waking moment I spent searching for a cure to the disease that ailed you.  Princess Celestia said that I was working too hard, that I should make some friends.  But even she did not understand that I had no time to waste on such trivial things.  All that mattered was saving your life.

Then, one day, I found an old book.  Its pages were cracked and faded with age, but the spells inside were like nothing I’d ever seen.  It described six magical artifacts, and how they could be used to accomplish wondrous deeds.  The only other reference I could find to these “Elements of Harmony” was in a children’s storybook describing Princess Celestia's triumph over Nightmare Moon.  But I knew that even fairy tales could conceal a piece of the truth, so I went to Celestia to see if she would help me.  But she refused!  She told me that it was not time for the Elements to return, and that I would not be able to use them, even if I did find them.  How could she refuse?!  Did she not know what was at stake here?  I could not give up on anything that might be able to save you.  After all, who was Celestia to say that I would not be able to use them?  I had done things with magic that nopony had ever thought was possible before.  And so, my search continued.  However, no matter how hard I tried, I could not find the Elements or a spell that would let me help you.  I found spells for other illnesses, spells for healing wounds, but never a spell that would cure you.

But then, all too soon, came the news.  A messenger was waiting at my room one day.  He told me that the doctors said you had but a few days left.  Gathering all I needed, I ran back to our house as fast as I could.  I spent two days and sleepless nights with you, trying everything I could, hoping beyond hope that something, anything, would work. But it was all for naught.  None of my magic could stop you from slipping away from me.  And just like that, you were gone.  I let out a howl of anguish and ran from the house, into the storm outside.

Blinking back tears, I ran down the road, running all the way back to Canterlot.  I saw other ponies, their heads bowed as I passed them.  “Failure,” I knew they were whispering, “She has failed.”  I ran past them, my hooves splashing through the puddles and the mud.  Finally making it back to my room, I opened the door, only to discover Princess Celestia standing there.  “I’m sorry-” she began, but I didn't want her pity.  Turning, I fled back down the hallway.  She felt sorry for me!?  After she had refused to me the one thing that could have saved you?

I had to get out, had to escape this place filled with reminders of my failure and my sadness, filled with reminders of…you.  I had to leave.  And I knew just where to go.

Dashing through the castle, I threaded my way through the halls to the Archives.  Here were stored magical artifacts and historical relics, items that the Princess needed to guard.  Weaving my way through the collection, I at last came to the Mirror.  I myself had discovered it, four years ago.  Legends said it was a pathway to another word, one which could only be opened once every thirty moons.  Standing in front of it, I hesitated.  I had no idea what was on the other side, what that world would be like.  But then I heard a hubbub out in the hallway and knew that they had found me.  Turning back to the mirror, I uttered the incantation that would activate it and jumped through.  A rush of rainbow colors, and then…

I blinked in the sunlight.  Everything was different.  Even my own body had changed.  Instead of four legs with hooves I had two legs with feet and two arms with hands.  This…this was a new world.  Over the next week, I explored it and learned how it worked.  Being all on my own, I had to find my way by myself, without anyone’s help or guidance.  The portal had closed, and I could not return to Equestria for another 30 moons.  Meanwhile, all around me were smiling, happy people.  I couldn't understand.  I wanted to grab the people I passed and shake them, shouting “My brother is dead!  How can you all be so happy?”  I found myself taking revenge on the world that had hurt me.  Petty slights, breaking friendships, causing fights, these all began to seem natural to me after the way the world had treated me.  “If I can’t be happy,” I would think to myself, “then no one should be.”

Then, one day, I realized that the thirty moons were up.  I could return to Equestria!  My exile, self-imposed though it may have been, had been lonely, and I desired to return to my own kind.  So, one night, I returned to the statue and stepped through it.  The same polychromatic blur, then…I was back.  Back in my pony form, so different from the human body I’d become familiar with.  But my surroundings were different.  No longer was I in the Canterlot Archives, but rather in some strange place.  I left the room and starting looking around.  Evading anypony I saw, I explored this new place.  Eventually, I went outside.  There, blinking in the morning light, I realized that I was somewhere I had only read about before – the Crystal Empire.  Somehow it had returned to Equestria.  Obviously much had changed since I had left.

Unobtrusively asking around, I found out what had transpired since my departure. And what I heard made my blood boil.  Evidently, after my departure, Princess Celestia had taken on a new pupil.  And her new protégé, this…Twilight Sparkle, had succeeded where I had failed – she had found the Elements of Harmony!  Using them, she had saved Princess Luna.  What’s more, she had just been crowned a princess herself.  I was furious.  All that I had wanted was to use the Elements to save you.  But Princess Celestia had refused me, and in doing so, might as well have killed you herself.  And after I left, I was forgotten by everypony, and the new girl, Twilight Sparkle – Princess Twilight Sparkle – had everything she wanted fall right into her lap.  But the Elements – and the crown – were mine by right. Had I not sacrificed years to search for them?  Had I not every reason to have them myself?  And so, I resolved to get my revenge.  On Celestia, for her part in your death.  On Twilight, for her undeserved success.  And on all of Equestria, for forgetting and shunning me.

I stole Twilight’s crown that night, and escaped back through the portal.  However, Twilight unexpectedly followed me through the portal in an attempt to get her crown back.  But even though my plans went awry, in the end, I got it.

A rush of power surged through me as I placed the crown on my head.  THIS was power!  But somehow, Twilight, without her magic, without the Elements, was able to call upon their power through her friends.  A whirlwind of rainbow colors surrounded me, and there was nothing I could do. Then, suddenly, out of the blinding rainbow, I saw you.  You were sad.  I…I didn't understand.  You said that you were sorry for me.  That this was never what you would have wanted.  That all you really wanted was for me to be happy.  And in that moment, I realized that I wasn't happy.  That I was sad and alone and afraid.  That revenge would not bring me peace, it would just spread hurt and sadness.  I felt all my anger leave, running out of me like iron from a crucible.  I fell to the ground.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.  “I didn't know there was another way.”  All my life, I had been alone.  You were the one bright spark in my world, and I pushed everyone else away in my attempt to save you.  There was nothing for me, no way that I could be forgiven all the hurt I had caused.  And yet…Twilight held out her hand to me.  She offered me her friendship and her friends, even after all I had done.  I took her hand and climbed out of the hole.  I was unworthy, unworthy of such a friend, but that didn't matter to her.  She accepted me, even with all of my failings, and helped me without reserve.

So I resolved that I would atone for my misdeeds.  I would undo all the suffering I had caused.  I hope that one day I will be able to return to Equestria, that I might visit your resting place and give you this letter myself.  I hope that I will be able to thank Twilight Sparkle for helping me and showing me the light.  She taught me that you are not defined by your failures, but rather by how you grow and learn from them.  But until the day I return, I have much to do in this world, fixing all the wrongs I have done.

I have a new life ahead of me, and the sun is shining brightly on the path in front of me.  The storms of my past have been blown away, and I step forward, eager to share the joy and peace I feel with my new friends.

Epilogue

Princess Celestia waited until the others had gone before opening the envelope Twilight had given her.  The front of the envelope read simply Princess Celestia.  Opening it, she found a few sheets of paper with a note on top.  She sat down on some cushions and began to read.  Dear Princess Celestia, it began.

I have given this letter to Twilight to bring to you. This is a letter for my brother, and I ask that, once you have read it, you please bring it to his grave, as I cannot.  I have decided to stay behind, in this world, in order to help repair the wrongs I have done.  I know that I have done awful things, but I hope that you can still forgive me.  In reading this letter, perhaps you can understand the reasons behind my actions and my feelings.  I know that these cannot excuse me or my actions, but I want you to know why I did what I did.  I am truly sorry for what I have done, and I pledge to make it up to you and everyone else.  Until that time, please remember me with kindness and friendship.  -Sunset Shimmer

Celestia put the note aside and began to read the letter.  She had to stop several times to wipe the tears from her eyes.  At last, when she was finished reading, she folded the letter and put it back in the envelope.  Standing, she walked over to the window and looked out into the night sky.  She had of course known about Sunset Shimmer's brother, but she had known neither the seriousness of his illness nor the attachment Sunset Shimmer had had for him.  Sunset had never been very talkative; even when her brother had been well, she had kept to herself and to her books more than being around other ponies.  Even Celestia, her teacher, had never grown very close to her.

"So, Twilight found a way to bring peace to you as well, my pupil," she whispered.  "Of course I forgive you.  We have all made our mistakes, even myself."  She glanced towards the tower where Princess Luna kept watch over the night.  "I hope that you will return one day soon.  Until then, let your friends guide you and help you on your journey."  Out the window, a new day was dawning, and once again, all was right.