Waiting is the Hardest Part
The digital alarm clock’s display gave off a soft glow in the darkened bedroom, the numbers hanging balanced at 5:59. The digits abruptly changing to six a.m. were accompanied by a shrill electronic chime.
The thick bed covers were thrown back, partly out of surprise and partly out of a desire to silence the alarm clock quickly. A stallion took a few shaky steps across the darkened bedroom, feeling for the dresser and pawing for the alarm clock atop it.
As the noise stopped he let out a sigh and took a few steps to the side, groping along the wall for the bathroom door. Stepping through, he took care not to let his hooves click on the tile too loudly. He closed the door and turned on the light.
Colt blinked at the sudden brightness, watching his reflection in the mirror do the same. He was slightly hunched, muscles tight after sleep and body protesting at being away from the warm bed.
He yawned and brushed his forelock out of his face. Turning on the hot water tap, he picked up his toothbrush. As the water warmed in preparation for shaving, he brushed his teeth.
As Colt rinsed his mouth and picked up the razor, another chime cut through the early morning. He paused, momentarily bewildered. It was the telephone. Who was calling so early in the morning?
He hesitated, but put the razor down and left the bathroom to get the phone. It was in the darkened kitchen. The early morning moonlight reflected off the blanket of snow outside. Colt used the dim light coming through the window to move carefully into the kitchen
Colt picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Son, I’m glad you answered.”
“Hi Dad. What’s… why are you calling?”
“Your grandmother is in the hospital.”
Colt’s lips parted, but he couldn’t speak. It was the last thing he had been expecting that morning, or any morning.
He swallowed and took a breath. “What do I do?”
“Do whatever you can, Colt. You needed to know.”
“Thanks… thank you for telling me, Dad.”
The two of them traded goodbyes and Colt put the phone down. He stared at it for a moment before turning around. This time, he moved with a purpose. There wasn’t any time to lose. Going back into the bedroom, he flipped on the light and opened the closet door.
“What’s going on?” his wife muttered, throwing a hoof over her face to block the light.
“Grandma is in the hospital.”
His wife sat up in bed, a concerned look on her face. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going home.” Colt pulled out his suitcase and threw a few things into it. He went into the bathroom to get his toothbrush. He packed his razor and comb, although neither of them had been used yet that morning.
His wife had gotten out of bed and appeared in the doorway. “What about work?”
“I’ll call them.”
Colt closed his suitcase and stepped into the living room. His wife collared him around the withers and pulled him back. She still wore a concerned look. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
He shook his head and looked away. She pulled on his neck, reeling him in for a kiss. He obliged, and for a moment the morning’s tension went out of his body.
He couldn’t forget his purpose, though. The two of them pulled away. His wife said, “I’ll wait for you.”
Colt nodded. “I love you.”
He grabbed a scarf from the peg beside the door and went out. The layer of snow on the ground was only a heavy dusting, and the overnight winds had been calm. The reflection of moonlight sparkled. Beautiful it might have been, but Colt had no time for it. He shivered slightly and wrapped up his scarf.
He hurried towards the train station, lugging his suitcase along. He was silently thankful that he hadn’t packed much. The streets were silent, and Colt passed only a few other ponies.
The train station was warm and bright, drawing a few other early travelers. Colt went up to the ticket counter and stood looking at the list of destinations. The train was not fast enough for his liking.
“What can I do for you?” asked the ticket agent.
“Get me to the nearest airship terminal,” Colt requested.
“Hmm, let me see.” The agent perused the list slowly while Colt waited. “Okay. That train leaves in a little less than two hours, but it’s full. You might be able to get a ticket on standby.”
“I’ll do it.” Colt paid for the ticket without hesitation. After receiving his ticket, he went to the boarding area. The group of travelers waiting to leave looked enormous. Colt’s shoulders slumped. The wait would be horrible.
The clock on the wall chimed and Colt remembered where he would normally be at this hour rather than the train station. He hurried to a pay phone and put a coin in the slot, dialing for his workplace.
He told his story slightly breathlessly, trying to argue his case as quickly as possible. To his great relief, he was let off work for the day.
Colt didn’t know what he would do about tomorrow. At the moment, he didn’t want to think about it.
He found a seat and waited. On a standby ticket, his passage was not guaranteed. He would only get aboard if somepony with a reserved ticket didn’t show up. Nervous tension started to build in his body. Fidgeting didn’t help to pass the wait.
Time trickled by and eventually the ticketed passengers were called to line up for boarding. Colt watched them. An elderly mare in a bonnet sat nearby, not moving to join the line. She caught Colt looking and gave him a smile. “Are you on standby, too?”
He nodded. “I’m going home.”
She turned slightly towards him. “What’s the occasion?”
Colt looked away. He’d told his boss the truth to get time off work. Talking to a stranger...it almost felt as if pausing for conversation would delay him.
But there was nothing else to do while he waited. Colt admitted, “My grandmother is in the hospital.”
“Oh, that’s awful. Was it sudden?”
“I got the phone call this morning.”
She patted his hoof gently. “I hope everything will be all right.”
The loudspeaker interrupted just then. “Standby passenger number one, please come to the boarding area."
Colt looked at his ticket. He was number three.
“Here, take this,” the elderly mare said. She gave him her ticket, which was stamped number one.
Colt shook his head. “I couldn’t.”
He immediately regretted it. There was no time to lose and he was refusing help? The mare, however, gave him another chance. “You need it more than I do.”
He waited another moment, but couldn’t afford to delay any longer. “Thank you.”
Colt accepted the ticket and hurried for the boarding area, scarcely believing his good fortune. He was the last passenger to get on the train. He stowed his suitcase and found a cramped seat as the engine made ready to move.
The train left the station and traveled for two hours. Colt’s joy at getting aboard slowly faded. It was still going to be a long journey. He tried to find something to pass the time, even sleep, but mostly he just endured. He couldn’t just keep rereading the safety pamphlets.
He knew when the train was getting close to its destination by the way it slowed down. Colt sat forward in his seat, trying to anticipate how long it would be until he could get off and find his next ride.
It seemed to take an agonizingly long time before the train came to a halt. Colt grabbed his suitcase and was out the door like a shot, hurrying through the unfamiliar station in search of the connecting airship terminal.
Down a long concourse, he spotted the sign for the airship company. Beside it was a service desk and information on flights.
Consulting with the ticket pony, Colt learned that there was no way to get a direct flight to the terminal nearest his hometown. The airship representative was sympathetic, but she couldn’t change what had already been scheduled. The best Colt could get was a flight to another city and then take a train. He reluctantly bought a ticket.
He waited another two hours for the flight. Sitting still at the terminal, it felt much longer than the wait while riding the train. Colt watched ponies. Many of them waited, although most had a book or some form of entertainment to help them pass the delay. They’d had time to plan their trips. Colt wondered if he could have spared a few moments to pack more thoughtfully. He shook his head. It didn’t matter now. The important thing was getting there quickly.
When the boarding for the flight was called, Colt waited in line with the other passengers. It was a relief that this time he was guaranteed a seat.
The seat, when he finally got to it, was even more cramped than the one on the train. A large stallion sat beside Colt, infringing on his space. Worse, the trip was scheduled to take four hours.
Takeoff went smoothly, if not fast enough for Colt’s liking. The hum of the engines combined with sheer force of will did let him drift off to sleep for a little while. He couldn’t manage to stay completely comatose, however, and woke up with more than an hour of flight time remaining.
That was when the pilot’s voice came over the intercom with some unfortunate news. “Folks, we’re going to be delayed about half an hour while the landing area is cleared. The snow at our destination is pretty heavy. Be careful when leaving the airship terminal.”
A collective groan went through the cabin, however there was nothing the passengers could do but wait.
Colt was actually grateful that he had forgotten his watch. Staring at the seconds ticking by until the airship landed would probably only make the waiting worse.
When the airship finally came in for touchdown, there was a scramble to get off. It followed a similar pattern to the train, a long period of waiting followed by some quick activity.
Colt finished disembarking and came out of the terminal to head for the train station. He’d gotten luckier this time, as the train he intended to catch was due to leave in only an hour. However, because of the worsening weather, the trip would take longer than usual.
The boarding went smoothly, if slowly. The snow and wind whipped the train as it left the shelter of the station. Colt could feel the modest, cautious speed of the engine as it moved along. He wanted to go back to sleep or do anything to pass the time, but the anticipation kept him jittery.
The trip took more than three hours. Out the window, there was nothing to be seen but blowing snow. Colt had gotten the phone call almost fifteen hours ago, and here he was, most of the way across Equestria but still not where he needed to be. He didn’t know what he would find when he got to the hospital, but prayed that he would be fast enough.
As the train entered the station, Colt stood up and got to the door before the wheels stopped turning. He was the first to jump down onto the snowy platform and hurried away as fast as he could on the icy ground.
The air was biting cold and the snow came up over his fetlocks. With the time zone change, it was nearly midnight. Colt navigated the dark, snowy streets easily, remembering his hometown despite being away for years. The hospital was across town, and he trotted there without regard to the snow.
The receptionist looked up as he came through the front door. Colt stomped the snow off his hooves and went up to the desk. “Which room is my grandmother in?”
He told her the name and the nurse looked it up. “Room 262, second floor, south end of the building.”
Colt started that way. The nurse stood up. “Visiting hours are over.”
Colt looked at her, but didn’t acknowledge her words further. He kept moving. The staircase seemed like a minor hurdle compared to everything else he had overcome that day, but he was breathing hard as he reached the top.
The hallway lights were dim, and most of the patient rooms were darkened. Colt looked at the room numbers as he hurried towards his destination. So many hours of waiting, and now he was so close.
The door to room 262 was closed. Colt’s ears tipped forward, hearing electronic sounds and a mechanical hum within. He pushed on the handle and opened the door.
His grandmother was on the bed in a slightly inclined position, illuminated by a soft overhead light. Intravenous tubes were stuck in her forelegs with needles. Her eyes were closed and a plastic facemask was fitted over her muzzle, straps around her head holding it fast. A tube connected the mask to a breathing machine, and her chest robotically heaved and sagged as the device whirred.
Colt gawked for a moment before managing to take his eyes from the scene. His gaze went to the steady readout on the heart monitor. He hadn’t arrived too late.
In the darkened room, Colt didn’t immediately realize there was somepony else there. His aunt had been sitting on the couch by the window. She got up and came over, wrapping him up in a tight embrace. She whispered, “I’m so glad you came.”
“Me too.”
She disengaged from him and tilted her head towards the door. The two of them went out of the room, Colt sparing a glance for his grandmother before leaving.
“She’s just been so sickly lately.” His aunt’s voice was barely louder now, despite the closed door.
Colt nodded and said nothing.
“Your parents and I have been staying with her. She’s sleeping now; the nurses gave her something.”
Just then, Colt’s stomach growled. He realized that he hadn’t had time to eat all day. Well, no, that was not quite true, with all the waiting he’d done. He’d just forgotten.
His aunt shook her head and brushed back her mane with a hoof. “I’ve been awake since I don’t know when. I could use something to eat. I'll get us a pizza or something.”
She touched him on the shoulder and gave a brief smile before departing. Colt stood there for a moment. He looked at the door before opening it and going back into the room.
Colt’s empty stomach turned slightly as he looked at the needles stuck in his grandmother’s veins, the wires monitoring her vitals, and the machine that mechanically inflated her lungs. He glanced away to collect himself and crossed the room to sit on the couch.
He sat for a few minutes, looking around the room. Compared to waiting on trains and airships, this passage of time seemed to move at about the same molasses speed. He couldn’t decide if spending it in the hospital room was more or less pleasant, however.
The door opened and a nurse came in. She seemed slightly surprised to see him, but introduced herself. She checked the bed and a few of the pieces of equipment, marking the results on a chart.
Colt asked, “How is she?”
The nurse frowned. “Well, your grandmother is very sick. I’m afraid I can’t really say more than that. You can ask the doctor when he arrives in the morning.”
She said goodnight and left. Colt sat down again and waited while a few more minutes passed. The steady noise of the breathing machine was the only sound.
In a little while, his aunt came back with a pizza. The two of them ate quietly. Colt thought he would be more hungry, but didn’t manage to finish his share. His aunt didn’t, either.
It was now well past midnight. His aunt yawned and stretched. “Can’t stay up all night.”
Colt felt tired, but didn’t want to sleep, even if it would pass the time more quickly. However, when his aunt started to nod off, he couldn’t help but let his own eyelids droop.
Despite the noise of the machines, Colt managed to get some low quality shut eye sitting on the couch. It was still before sunrise when he awoke, disturbed by another visit from the nurse.
She was again cheerful, almost as if she didn’t see his grandmother the way he did. What did that mean for her condition, Colt wondered. Was there something he wasn’t being told?
“You’ll have to ask the doctor,” the nurse said to him again when he asked. She finished her checks and left the room.
Colt sat on the couch for a while, unable to go back to sleep. He watched the digital clock flip from 5:59 to six a.m. He kept watching.
It was a long wait until his aunt began to stir at a few minutes after seven. She roused herself, her mane matted and eyes squinted. Colt hoped he didn’t look half as weary.
The two of them talked quietly. Colt heard the number of ponies moving around the hospital begin to increase as the day got started.
It was just before eight when the doctor appeared. He was young and spoke with a country accent. Colt distrusted him immediately, and not just because the pin on his lab coat came from a university that had been rivals with Colt’s school.
The doctor reviewed the charts the nurse had left and compared them with the monitoring equipment. “I think she’s looking okay. We’ll keep her under observation today and decide what needs to be done.”
“What can we do?” Colt asked.
The doctor scratched the back of his neck with a hoof. “Her condition is stable now, but the wrong treatment could have negative effects. We’ll have to carefully decide how to proceed. I’ll schedule a few specialists to see her.”
Just then, there was a small cough. All eyes turned to the bed, where Colt’s grandmother had just opened her eyes. She looked around at the circle of faces surrounding her bed, blinking sleep away.
“Grandma?” Colt said.
She smiled and tried to speak, but the breathing machine forced her to keep inhaling. The words turned into a garbled burble. She shifted her forelegs, trying to lift them away from the attached tubes. Colt immediately leaned forward into the hug.
She again tried to speak, this time quietly into his ear, but the words still did not come through. Colt pulled back slightly, seeing the frustration in her eyes.
“I think the mask can come off, just for a little while,” the doctor said. He called a nurse and they shut off the breathing machine, replacing the mask with a simple oxygen tube that was plugged into the old mare’s nostrils.
She rasped, tongue protruding slightly. The nurse swabbed her mouth with a wet sponge and gave her a small sip of water.
Colt leaned forward again. “Grandma?”
“Hello.” She smiled. The two of them hugged again.
“You came all this way to see me?” she asked.
Colt nodded. “I booked tickets as soon as I heard. It felt like I would never get here.”
“Don’t worry about time passing too slowly.” She touched his cheek. “We don’t get enough as it is.”
Colt nodded. The monitor next to the bed started to beep.
“We’ll have to put the mask back on,” the doctor said. “Her oxygen level is dropping.”
His grandmother lifted a hoof. “Can I have some water?”
“Maybe in a little while,” the doctor said.
The medical ponies got the breathing machine set up again. The nurse gave Colt a few pointers on what some of the monitoring numbers meant. Pulse was important, but the oxygen level was the number his grandmother had the most trouble maintaining. The nurse also quietly explained that Colt shouldn’t give his grandmother any water even if she asked.
“The breathing machine dries out her throat, so she wants to quench that. The rest of her body can’t handle more water, though. She has pneumonia and needs the breathing machine because her lungs are filling with fluid.”
Colt grimaced. Learning exactly what was wrong somehow made the experience worse. He also didn’t want to be the one to tell his grandmother no if she asked for a drink.
Colt’s parents came through the door just then. They both traded hugs with him. His grandmother was happy to see the new guests, but the doctor didn’t authorize her to take off the mask again.
The group of them talked for a little while, mostly just simple questions that could be answered through gestures. Colt began to relax a little. Despite the hospital setting, it was just like any old family gathering. In fact, it could have been Hearth’s Warming.
He’d missed this year’s family celebration, only a few weeks before. It was only the emergency phone call that got him to come home. Colt frowned at that thought. The main reason he hadn’t traveled for the holiday was cost. He didn’t want to think about the sum of his recent impromptu ticket buying. Plus, what about his job that he was missing?
“Colt, your father and I are going to get some breakfast with your aunt,” his mother said. “Can you wait here for a while?”
“I… yes.”
His parents and aunt left the room. Colt took a seat beside the bed. His grandmother gave him a smile and touched his hoof. Her eyes closed.
He sat there for a while, watching her rest. His stomach growled but he ignored it for a while. Still, the prospect of breakfast sounded promising. Colt wondered about the hospital cafeteria. No, that might take too much time. Perhaps there were some vending machines nearby. What would it hurt to leave for a few minutes?
He shifted slightly in his seat. A few more minutes passed and nothing changed. The monitors were steady.
Colt got up and crossed to the door. His grandmother moved a small amount in her sleep, repositioning her head. The breathing mask slipped down.
There was a vulgar sucking noise as the seal around her muzzle was broken. Air rushed out instead of making its way to her lungs. Colt shot back to the bedside as his grandmother’s eyes opened wide. The monitor started beeping. Her oxygen level was dropping.
“Nurse!” Colt shouted. He jerked forward but stopped, raising one hoof but unsure what to do with it. His grandmother was beginning to gasp.
Colt grabbed the mask, trying to reposition it. The straps were caught and didn’t want to move around her ears. He couldn’t get the sucking noise to stop.
In desperation, Colt shoved the tip of his hoof into the gap at the bottom of the mask where the air was rushing out around her chin. He leaned forward across the bed and put his other hoof forward to help. The improvised seal wasn’t tight, but it helped.
His eyes went to the monitor. The dropping numbers stabilized.
Colt lay there, painfully arching his back so that his weight didn’t rest atop his grandmother. Any move he made resulted in more escaping air from the mask.
The nurse rushed in and assessed the situation. She was able to figure out the straps and get the mask set right, elbowing Colt aside to do her job. He took a step back and let out a sigh as his heart rate slowed down. He slumped on the couch.
It was clear that his grandmother needed special care. A nurse couldn’t be in her room at all times to watch her. Somepony would have to wait with her. Colt thought about what that might mean for tomorrow, next week, or whenever, and decided he didn’t want to think any further.
The nurse made sure the straps were tight and left the room. Colt’s grandmother moved her foreleg, reaching out to Colt as far as the tubes would allow. He moved forward to touch her.
She patted his hoof. He thought it was ironic how she was the one comforting him. She drifted off to sleep as he waited.
Colt sat, thinking back over the time he’d had getting to the hospital. He couldn’t seem to pick out any details. The miles and miles all seemed to blur together because he’d been in such a hurry.
His grandmother slept peacefully. Colt adjusted his position and settled in to let time pass. He wasn’t in a hurry for this.
Colt waited.
Author's Note
This happened, more or less.
