Chapters Perchance to Dream
Nightfall comes over Ponyland, and the citizens of the five great kingdoms are settling into their beds for a long slumber. Every family in Dream Valley has settled in for a pleasant repose, and only a few of us remain awake into these late hours. My own duties having finished for the day, it is time for this unicorn to return to her humble abode for for the evening.
Trotting my way back towards my apartment, I pass a few of the ponies in Dream Castle who are still stirring. The unicorns of the night guard are on their evening patrol, their glowing horns searching the hallways for any potential invader. Dr. Medcin and two of her nurses, Tenderheart and Loveheart, are busily working on and tending to patents throughout the night. And I pass Warden Locket, the Pegasus master of locks and traps, who is on her way back down to her dungeon to ensure the villains she is responsible for remain safely incarcerated. Sometime I wonder if these hard-working ponies ever sleep.
Queitly opening the door to my private quarters, I can already see my family is asleep. Passing by Ember's room, I can see she had waited up for me, the storybook I usually read to her open on the pillow, before finally simply falling asleep on her own. Smiling, I gently place a kiss on her head, before closing the door and turning off the light. Next I trot on towards my own room, silently pushing the door open so I don't awaken it's sole occupant. Looking around at the room filled with pretty blankets of satin and silk and a lace canopy bed, I notice that my husband Tornado is already fast asleep as well. With a sigh, I pull back the soft covers, and quietly climb into bed next to him.
As I slowly close my own eyes in slumber, the golden lantern on the shelf across from our bed begins to glow, projecting starlight all over the walls of our room. This is one of the legedary Shining Star lanterns, and it is informing me that is is time for daytime Twilight to enter her sleep, and for night time Twilight to enter the world of dreams. My special talent is a duty once carried out by Princess Luna herself, but now that she is gone it fell to a long line of unicorns to take it up in her stead. For you see, while many ponies have special talents that involve the warmth and light of day, my special talent best shines in the darkness of the night.
The starlight lantern is indeed a mighty artifact. Tornado tells me it was carved from the Crystalline husk of the dead Tree of Harmony. by Queen Sky Skimmer after she and her soldiers had killed it. The lantern have the power to grant a pony's dreams and wishes, by inspiring them to take their initiative in their lives to change their circumstances. For me, the power of the lantern is how I enter the dreams of ponies all across this land, and ensure they are free of nightmares and night terrors. Most ponies know me as the shy and soft spoken Twilight Shine, the mare with poor magic that mostly keeps to herself and takes care of little Ember at Dream Castle. But I am also the guardian of every pony's sleep, so that you may all get a good night's rest and awake refreshed for a new day.
As always, my nightly sojourn takes me over all of Dream Castle, and into the sleep of all my dear friends. In their Dreams, I see fizzy sipping away on a soda the size of a mountain, and Lickety Split eating greedily away on a dish of ice cream just as big. Heart Throb is dreaming of meeting a pony prince, while Wind Whistler just found a cure for Smooze corrosion. Applejack and Cherries Jubilee are in each other's dreams, arguing over wither apples or cherries will be planted in the castle orchard this year, while Firefly and North Star are on another grand adventure together. The fillies and colts aren't much different; Racer dreams of zooming along in a motorcar with his father Four Speed, and Baby Bow Tie wishes to one day make dresses beside her mother. I sort through and clean up any potential nightmare inducers from these dreams, before moving out into the larger world of Ponyland.
As always, my nightly sojourn takes me from Bright Valley to misty mountain, from misty mountain to the Royal Paradise. I see the dreams of unicorn mages who wish to create a spell that will make all the trolls vanish, or I see an earth pony who wishes to grow a prize vegtable garde. There are colts who dream of being a soldier or sailor, and mares who wish to be everything from a beautician to a politician. I weave in and out of these dreams, an active particpant helping the ponies grow that crop, cut that mane, or win that race. I've had a variety of experiences in these dreams, from digging trenches to fighting the bad guys in a children's storybook to participating in a soccer match- anything to help these ponies fulfill thier wishes, and find happiness in their dreams.
There are dreams, of course, that truly unnerve me. Although evil ponies are few, I have run across those wicked stallions and mares who just love to make other ponies suffer. I have seen torture, bloodshed, and torments on levels that I would never speak of in polite company. It truly amazes me that such suffering would bring pleasure to ponies, that my fellow equines could so reavel in actually hurting ponies of their herds.. and sometimes, for the absolutely stupidest of reasons. My only consolation is that what goes on in these dreamscapes is not real, in any sense of the word. Better that such cruelty is restrained to this world of dreams.
Of a lesser, but still no less unnerving, bent are the dreams of single stallions and mares- dreams that have deeply shocked even my tender sensibilities. Of particular note are the dreams that many an unattached stallion has had of the legendary harmony bearers- brought on by these historical plays with the sultry mare actresses, no doubt. So many of these stallions- what's the term Heart Throb told me, 'ship'?- themselves with one of the original six heroines of Equestria, and some of the dreams coming out of these young males make a mare blush with shame. Applejack would hide in a closet if she knew what they dreamt about her, and I cannot tell you how many hundreds of dreams about Twilight Sparkle I've stumbled out of with a sore flank. These are the times I detest resembling my proud ancestor, ugh!
Of a much more pleasant nature are the dreams of familes; parents and children playing together, and having a good time. Picnics, birthday parties, anniversaries... I always enjoy seeing them having such fun together! But there are also the sad moments, when a pony has lost a loved one, and the dreams I provide is the only place they can see a lost mother again. It breaks my heart to see a son at a ball game, sitting in the bleachers with his dad who won't be there when he wakes up. I always make sure that they catch the ninth inning ball with their hoof gloves before the dream ends. I also adore the dreams of married couples that are about each other- the lifebond always draws both ponies into the same dream together, and I try to make it as romantic as possible for them.
Having completed my rounds for the night, I return home to Dream Castle to visit one more sleeping pony. I find myself in a forest, where an elegant white unicorn mare is sitting before a glowing mirror. Unlike the other ponies I've encountered on my travels, this crowned equine knows I am there from the moment I arrive in her dream.
"Hello, Twilight." The queen greets me, not looking away from her mirror. "I trust your nightly sojourn went well?"
"Yes, Majesty." I reply, bowing before her, even as my horn lit up the stars in her dream. "All is well in Ponyland's slumber this night."
Through that enchanted mirror, Queen Majesty likes to keep her gaze on all things in the waking world, even while she sleeps. Such is how much she cares for the welfare of her subjects and her domain, quite literally making her the monarch who never sleeps. Turning back to face me, She raised an eyebrow.
"And how are you personally, my dear?" The queen asked me, a look of concern upon her face. "I sometimes worry about your welfare, dealing with all of these terrible dreams."
My queen knows all too well how much of a strain this ordeal can be on me. She was there all those years ago, when Dream Gleamer, the previous dream pony from Fort Rainbow Dash, came to me from Fort Dash and announced that I was to be her successor. Before the entire Dream Valley royal court the red mare with a pink mane passed the Starlight Lantern to me. And so I joined Rainbow Beauty, Shimmering Beauty, and so many other mares as the latest in the line of Dream Beauties who have guarded the slumber of Ponkind since Princess Luna's passing. She knows how wearying this experience can be to me, and how painful it is to sacrifice the repose of my own dreams, to ensure the happy sleep of others.
"Oh, you know... I deal with it." I reply sadly, looking down. "I just wish I could help the dreams of my little Ember, and my dear Tornado, the way I help so many other ponies."
"Twilight, you know as well as I do that you are forbidden to go into the dreams of your loved ones." Majesty consoled me, looking back into the mirror. "Just as you are not allowed to keep the experiences and memories you experience during your duties."
She is correct, of course. All of the hopes and dreams I experience, fade away like the dreams they were. With the lantern's awesome might comes terrible limitations, but they are necessary to prevent the artifact's misuse.
"You are correct as usual, my queen." I reply with another bow, preparing to take my leave. "See you tomorrow morning, in the waking world."
As so, I next find my eyes flickering open, returning to the waking world with a familiar blue unicorn snuggled up beside me. My body is refreshed from hours of peaceful rest, but my mind and spirit is heavily burdened with the weariness of my duties. And so I shall forever remain, a distant, dreamy pony you always see in the background at Dream Castle. But in your dreams, when you see that mysterious pink unicorn coming out of the mists to grant your wishes, please remember the great sacrifice that is being mane so you all may have the most pleasant of reposes.
And perchance, if you can, send one of your pleasant dreams this weary mare's way.
First Crushed
"Don't get too wrapped up in the dreams you create and protect, Twilight..." Shimmering Beauty had warned me, when she was training me in my dream walking abilities. "For it can only lead to you utter ruin and sorrow."
But I had to learn that lesson the hard way, like many young mares and stallions who think they know better than their elders. We all make mistakes in the folly of our youths, when we think things we'll never change, and nothing bad could ever possibly happen to us . I remember the one time I tired to selfishly use my power over the dreams of other ponies to grab a little happiness myself, and I remember the terrible heartbreak I suffered for my error.
It was my first year of being a dream beauty, and long before the wonderful Tornado had entered my life. I was eighteen and still inexperienced enough to think I could do no wrong. I was doling out dreams left and right, giving my sleepers the dreams they seemed to want , instead of what they might have needed . But hey, everybody was happy, right? I saw the images their minds were producing, and gave them the scenarios they wanted. It wasn't until I ran across a dream I knew well, that I stopped to do a double take.
I was going though the slumber of the ponies of Dream Castle, when I stumbled across a football game, going on in one stallion's mind. The blue pony with the pigskin cutie mark had the ball at the ten yard line, and went plowing into the opposing team from Hoofkaido as he carried the ball towards the opposite goalpost. My eyes going wide at the realization of whose dream I was in, I could only stare blankly from the sidelines, as the athletic stallion made a touchdown to the roaring cheers of the crowd.
"Good job, Quarterback! Another touchdown for our hometown hero!" A voice echoed over the PA system. "Let's hear it for our Dream Valley team!"
His name was Quarterback, and he was one of the best football players to ever have been turned out by Dream Valley. I knew him well because I had gone to school with this pony since the first grade, having had a hopeless crush on him for just as long. But what chance was there that he would ever notice a shy bookworm? Oh, to be sure he was a little rough around he edges, but Quarterback always had the sweetest personality that any pony could ask for.
But while he was always friendly with the little pink filly who tried again and again to talk to him, it was clear he would never notice how I felt, or even feel the same way in return. It was always the Cheerleaders his eyes were on while we were growing up, not the silly unicorn filly in the corner who watched his games now and then. I just wasn't his type, and even as I put his football dream in order and chased the nightmare imps out, I realized there was no way he would ever notice a silly little mare like me in the waking world.
In the waking world.... I told myself over and over again, an idea forming in my own brain.
I studied his dreams for weeks after that, watching for his likes and dislikes, his own wants and desires. It was then one night an alluring and very beautiful white earth filly with a pink mane joined the cheerleading team in his dream. Happily throwing her pom poms high, and shaking her well-curved flank right at Quarterback. It was of no surprise when the white stallion trotted up to her after a few games, and struck up a conversation with the newcomer.
"Hey there, never seen you around before." He asked, taking off his helmet, and pushing a stray stand of his mane back over his head. "What's your name?"
"Oh wow! My name is Pom Pom!" The air headed mare giggled. "And I'm like, soooo happy to meetcha!"
"Cool! I'm guessing you're new in Dream Valley." He replied, smiling with a smile that made me melt like butter. "Would you like to go grab a malt at the satin Slipper?"
It had worked, that silly stallion didn't even recognize me! It did make sense though, as I had altered my voice, appearance, and mannerisms to be exactly what he dreamed about. Besides, he had barely recognized me in real life, why would he notice the real Twilight here? He and I went to the Stain Slipper for our next dream, happily sipping sodas while I listened endlessly to tales of his grid iron exploits. It had gone so well, that I noticed that Quaterback was looking much more happy and refreshed during the following day when he was awake. So I decided to continue with my little plan.
I slowly began shifting his dreams away from the football field, I started arraigning more 'dates' for Pom Pom and Quarterback. One night I sent us to Luna Park in Bright Valley, where I clung to his hoof as we rode on the rollercoaster together. I really loved it when he won me a stuffed Princess Celestia at the horseshoe toss. Another night, he took Pom Pom to the traveling Circus Maximums from Fort Dash. There I ended up holding him when he was frightened by the clowns. How was I to know he had been scared of them since foal hood?
But I really enjoyed those dreams, and spending time with Quarterback like that. Imagine me, the little filly who always sat in the corner, actually going on dates, actually kissing a guy! And I was able to get to know Quarterback better, and to give him the dreams that made him happy. I discovered Quarterback really was as nice as I thought, as he always pulled my chair out for me whenever we had dinner together. He would tell me of his hopes to one day go onto play for the Bright Valley Clydesdales professionally some day, and how important football was to him.
"You know, you never do tell me about yourself, Pom Pom." Quarterback said with a smile, as we watched a dream sunset on the hill overlooking Dream Valley together. "Just where have you been all my life?"
"Same place I've always been." I tell him, gently nuzzling Quarterback. "Like, only in your dreams."
We kissed tenderly, as the last rays of the golden sun vanished over the horizon.
Several months went by like that, and I was actually getting to live out my dreams through his.I thought I was truly in love, and how could I possibly be hurting anyone by carrying out a dream relationship? In fact, things were going so well, that I decided it was time to make his dreams even more special. One evening, Quarterback came in to pick me up for one of our "dream dates", and found a shocking sight waiting for him.
"Hey, Pom Pom?" He asked, as the door to my apartment swung open. "You ready to-"
His jaw nearly hit the floor, as the sight of a hundred lit candles all over the room greeted him. And 'Pom Pom' lay there on the bed, dressed in a red bikini with a heart shaped bottom.
"Well, mister big shot football star." I replied in a coy voice, giving him a flirtatious wink, and raising my flank. "What would you think of... staying in tonight?"
Looking at me for a few moments, Quarterback made no reply. Instead he only smiled, and stepped up behind me.
Needless to say, we ended up staying in that night. What followed was the most passionate dreams I had ever experienced, so much so that I repeated it for Quarterback's slumber every night for the next two months. I was so happy with the way everything was going, I was finally with the stallion of my dreams! I was fulfilling my responsibilities, and making everyone happy! Then one day, a realization finally brought it all crashing down around me.
"Whoa, you really are. Like, something else!" Quarterback gasped, as one of his dreams was coming to an end. "I really love that you came into my life, Pom Pom!"
"T-thank you..." I replied, gasping back. It suddenly washed over me, the realization that he had said Pom Pom . Not Twilight, who I actually was, but Pom Pom . It was the one thing I had been trying my hardest not to think about. But now here it was coming out of the mouth of the stallion of my dreams, and staring me in the face. The one little, undeniable factor that smashed all of my happiness like a pane of shattered glass.
It was Pom Pom that Quarterback was in love with, a dream conjured up by the powers the starlight lantern gave me. I had been living a fantasy, and taking part in a relationship that was no more real then the room or the dates I had winked into existence in Quarterback's slumber. None of that had really happened, none of our dates or passion had occurred at all! It was all a passing dream of the night, and even if Quarterback knew it was really me, he could never love Twilight the unicorn the way he cared about Pom Pom the earth pony. And there could never be a lifebond between the two of us, and it was time I stopped living a dream.
And so, Pom Pom slowly vanished from Quarterback's repose, and his slumber returned to football games with thousands of cheering fans. Seeing him around the castle days later, I could see that he was downcast and depressed as the result of his Dreams Coming to an end.
"Don't worry about it, man. It was just a dream." I heard his twin brother, Score, reassuring him. "Someday, you'll meet the right filly for you!"
Those terrible words stung me like a knife, and ever afterward I avoided Quarterback in shame whenever I saw him after that, even if he never knew why. For a long time afterward, I ached in agony over my folly. I even shut myself off from all love and happiness, until the day a certain blue unicorn stallion finally came into my life. Through him, I finally learned what real love and passion were, and I will say that they are far greater than anything a mere dream could produce. Still, I will always remember my first love and first times of passion, and the valuable lessons I learned as a result of it.
Sometimes though, a dream Can be more real to a pony, moreso than they would ever care to admit.
A Taste of his Own Medicine, Part one
A Taste of his Own Medicine- Part One
If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's a bully. Ponies of that young and happy time of foalhood, who instead of enjoying this fleeting time of their innocence, choose to torment their peers to make themselves feel better. These cowardly colts and mares often use fear and intimidation to impose their will on their fellow foals. Or they will be cunning, and prey upon another foal's personal anxieties, tearing them down with hurtful words and mean insults, all to make themselves feel better about themselves. Both types of bullies are just as bad, and both equally spell bad news for the targets of their spiteful attacks.
I run across the victims of these soulless monsters every night in my little sojourns, quivering and whimpering in their beds, as demonic exaggerations of thier daytime tormentors stalk after them in their dreams. Larger than life and twice as frightening, I drive these foul images away with happy visions of sunshine and flowers and rainbows. But it often isn't enough, and the poor little innocents often wake up crying in the middle of the night. Too many times have I witnessed the merciless beating of a little colt by the other ponies in the colt's locker room, just because he was different, and far too often have I witnessed a dream where a poor little filly who is made fun of by her so-called friends, all because she was a few pounds overweight.
It is a terrible thing to watch, to be sure. But I feel all the more helpless, because as a Dream Beauty, I am forbidden to interfere. It's horrible to only be able to comfort these poor defenseless ponies that no one else can hear weep. I'm not even able to tell the parents or send word to the Pony city-state where the foal lives when I awaken- any information I learn in a Dream I can't keep when I l depart. A Dream Beauty retains only vague impressions of what happened, unless the event in said dream affects them directly. Still, I recall how utterly powerless as I watched countless baby ponies sob their better tears from the rough treatment at the hooves of their torturers during the daytime. My only consolation is the fact I can give them a small sense of relief and comfort in their nightly reposes.
But their was one little filly who I do remember- one who still haunts my memories to this very day. Her name was Katie- an adorable little yellow filly whom had been adopted by the ratfolk after her parent's deaths in Munsterville. The Ratlings had taken her in and raised her since she was an infant, thus explaining her odd, un-ponylike name. I first encountered her when I was passing over Munsterville one night in the dream dimension, and I noticed an odd little dream flame flickering in one of the dark houses below me. Knowing I could only see such a thing from a sleeping pony, I glided my ghostly dream-form down onto the rooftop.
"Would you like another glass of Tea, Mister Sprinkles?" The little filly asked her furry friend sitting next to her, as I entered her colorful little dream. "Oh look, we have a visitor!"
The adorable little filly was sitting at a table of stuffed animals, accompanied by a fuzzy pink cat as her only living companion. I was surprised to find a slumbering little filly all by herself in a non-pony town, and it was hard to contain ethier my concern, or my curiosity.
"Hello there, little one. "I greeted her politely. "What are you doing way out here, and all by yourself?"
"My friends and I are having a tea party." The little filly in the party hat replied. "Ohhh, you're a pony, too! Would you like some tea?"
And that's how I met my new dream friend, and came to alleviate a little filly's loneliness. There were no other children of her kind in town, and her little kitty Mr. Sprinkles was her only companion. Craving the companionship of a friend like herself, a nightly tea party with an imaginary 'dream friend' was enough to raise little Katie's spirits. The three of us had many merry games as the months passed, playing pin the tail on the pony, bobbing for apples, and showing her how to bake cookies. It was kind of fun, almost like having the little sister here in the Dream World, that I never had in real life. I wish I could have done more for her in the waking world, but again my hooves were tied. Still, I enjoyed the time the two of us had together, until the day a new colt moved into town, and everything changed.
One night, I came to the little tea party, only to find the little filly crying into her empty tea cup, with Mister Sprinkles purring and trying to comfort his master. Concerned, I trotted up to the weeping pony, and put a hoof on her shoulder.
"Katie, what on earth are you crying?" I asked, shocked at her sorrowful disposition. "Did something happen? Are you all right?"
"Oh Twilight! It was so terrible!" The little filly cried, turning around to hug me. "I met this new pony, and he was so mean to me!"
I soon discovered the colt in question- a little white Pegasus named Graffiti, whose father had come to Munsterville as the new ambassador for Ponyland. Shy at first, Katie reached out to the little juvanille delinquent hoping to make a waking world pony friend. But the little monster only proceeded to start making fun of her, and tormenting her and her little friend.
"Hey, you big bully!" Katie cried, pleading with the arrogant colt. "Put Mister Sprinkles down, right now!"
"Mrow!" The terrified cat yowled, as the little monster threw him up and down in the air.
"A girl as ugly as you doesn't deserve a kitty!" He laughed, as Mr. Sprinkles reached down and scratched the vulgar little brute who was tormenting him. "Ahh, take your stupid cat!"
Katie managed to get her cat back, butt was a minor victory. Graffiti continued to push her head into the mud, make fun of Katie every chance he got. Se tried to avoid him every day after school, but there seemed to be no escape for the poor little filly. I watched over the next few weeks, as my friend seemed to grow more and more diminished every time I saw her, her happiness seemed decrease more and more with each of my visits, and she became more disinterested in our usual games and parties.
"Graffiti says it's a good thing I was raised by rats, Twilight!" The little filly told me once, tears in her bloodshot eyes. "He told me I was as ugly and filthy as a rat, and other ponies would think I was disgusting!"
"Don't listen to that little bully, Katie!" I told her, gently nuzzling the filly. "You're as beautiful as any other little filly I've ever met!"
She smiled sadly at that, but I could tell his stinging words were still getting to her. If she lived in a pony community, this would be dealt with right away. But ratling culture believes children should be self-sufficient, so this tragic little filly had no way to escape her torment.
Then, everything finally came crashing down on me. One night I alighted the usual spot of our dream meeting, Looking around, I noticed the bight and colorful landscape seemed a little bit duller, and a cold wind blew across a dreamscape that was usually always warm. But I saw no trace of my little friend anywhere, and suddenly I grew worried.
"Katie, are you here?" I called out, looking amongst the trees, hoping beyond hope that she was playing some kind of game. But I could find no trace of my dear little dream sister. "Katie?"
Over by the table, I saw all of the teacups were overturned and abandoned, and the lone figure of Mister Sprinkles say at his chair , meowing sadly at an empty seat with a pink party hat sitting where a little smiling pony had once sat.
And it was then I knew. I understood what that cruel monster's bulling had finally driven the desperate little filly to. And how, having no one else in the waking world to help or comfort her, the terrible action she had taken. Now, she had placed herself beyond the reach of his mean words and deeds, forever.
"Katie..." I whimpered tearfully, slowly sinking to the ground, as my hooves gave out from under me. "Oh no..."
"T-tornado, honey? C-can we stop here? I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow. Right now, I-I think I've got something in my eye..."
A Taste of his Own Medicine, Part Two
A Taste of his Own Medicine, Part Two
It had been a week since I had learned about my dear friend's unfortunate fate, and I was still having trouble dealing with the tragedy I had just been privy to. In the waking world, the only sign I saw of what I had witnessed in the world of dreams, was a small notice about a little filly named Katie in the Munsterville gazette's obituary column. While I'm sure there will be some grieving adopted family and friends, it will soon be as if there was never a filly named Katie to begin with. Through my connections at the royal court, I manage to pull a few strings, and acquire a now-unwanted but loveable little feline from Munsterville as my own personal pet, so at least I was able to give Mr. Sprinkles a home. But there is still some unfinished business with a certain overgrown bully.
I spent the next several nights gathering nocturnal intel on my target, watching his dream for every nuance and detail I can pick up about him. Graffiti Artist, a spoiled rich brat whose family comes from Bright Valley, and who has had everything in his life handed to him on a silver plate. Before moving to Munsterville, the little brat had earned his cutie mark by defacing the statue of Pinkie Pie in Bright Valley, drawing certain profane images on parts of the statue's anatomy. He followed up this 'wondrous' accomplishment by leading a gang of thugs, who robbed little colts and fillies of their lunch money, and shoving thier heads into ditches. He was as mean as mean gets., and has never shown an ounce of pity or remorse his actions.
Now, I've been into the dreams of bullies before, and deep down, they are not often as bad as they seem. Sometimes they were victims of bullies themselves, and take out their pain on other ponies. Sometimes they bully out of the fear of being bullied, and only need some understanding and attention to bring them around. I will often give these little colts and fillies a gentle nudge in their dreams, and that is usually enough to bring them around. But this little colt, there's nothing but cruelty and spite in his heart. In his dreams he revels in the pain and suffering he causes, and in his heart of hearts I see a blackened soul, who if allowed to grow to stallionhood will find even worse ways to cause misery to other ponies. I must do something about this little monster, but I am forbidden to directly interfere. I began to contemplate a way to strike and Graffiti from afar, and it wasn't long before I got my answer.
I wouldn't torment him; rather, I'd 'help' him by showing the little Pegasus exactly what he's been putting other ponies through.
It was late at night, and Graffiti had just gone to bad after a day of making a bunch of the Munsterville children miserable. I alighted his dreams, and suddenly a light appeared in his 'dream' room.
"Hey, what gives?" The little pony groaned sitting up in his bed, and blinking into the blinding light. "W-what's going on? Hey, why does my voice sound so goofy?"
"You've caused other ponies such hurt and suffering," I hiss, appearing to him as a shadowy figure hidden behind the mists of his dreams. "Now, it's time for a taste of your own medicine!"
"AHHHHH, I'M A FILLY!" Graffiti wailed, throwing of the covers, and seeing his diminished physique. "What have you done to me!?!"
Instead of replying, I cause his room to disappear around him. And several of his victims emerge from the shadows, pointing their hooves and taunting him.
"Ha ha! Stupid dumb little filly!"
"Look at how ugly she is!"
"Fat Pig! Gonna cram some more ice cream into your face?"
"You're so gross, why doncha go throw yourself off a bridge!"
The foals loom over her, giant shadows that taunt and torment and tease. Cutting remarks that tore at her self-esteem, and made her feel the way she had made them feel all those times.
"Stop it, you fracking flankholes!" Grafitti screamed, running away as tears leaked out of her eyes. "Shut up! Just SHUT UP!"
Looking back on the whole affair, perhaps I shouldn't have been so harsh on her at that moment. But as I thought about the little filly he had killed, I unleashed the full burnt of her own karma upon her. Several shadowy ponies come out of the darkness, and grab her with their hooves. They shades proceed to pound on her, rubbing her face into the mud, and battering the filly until she was black and blue.
"How does it feel, you little tramp!?!" One of the shadows hissed, kicking her in the stomach. "You like shoving other ponies into the ditch now?!?"
"Please! Please stop!" The little filly cried, finally breaking free of the shades grasp. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I hurt everybody!"
I then made it go all dark around her, and delivered the coup de grace. A spotlight appeared before her, and out of the shadows emerged the form of little Katie, looking all sullen and forlorn, and pail as a ghost.
"Why were you so mean to me?" Her voice carried on a wind that came from nowhere. "Why did I have to go away?"
"Katie, I'm sorry! I didn't know you were going to-" She whimpered, falling on her hooves before the other filly. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you so much! I didn't know how miserable you were! I swear I'll never hurt another pony again!"
"I shall hold you to that promise, Graffiti Artist. And spare your life on account of your seeing the light." I call out from the mists, as I make the specter of Katie vanish.. "But since you took like life of a little filly so recklessly, I leave you with a parting gift. Know that it is not a punishment, but rather a reminder to never again harm a pony with your words and deeds."
I draw upon all my Power, and there is a flash from the starlight lantern, as I push through the dream and wreak a minor change upon the waking world. Graffiti’s eyes then flicker open,
"Whoa! What a dream!" The little white Pegasus yawned, sitting up and stretching. "I can't believe I felt bad about- hey, what's with my voi-"
Graffiti’s eyes suddenly went wide at the sound of her own voice. Throwing back the covers, the former bully found my parting gift- a reminder of her cruelty that would remain with her for the rest of eternity.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
And so, my dear little friend was avenged. Am I sorry about what I did to Graffiti? There are times I regret my actions, but ever since then she has been one of the strongest anti-bullying advocates in all of Ponyland as a result. In he years since, she has gown up to be a kind pony, a good wife, and a gentle mother to her children. If something good did come out of my sweet little friend's tragic demise, it's that a misguided pony's life was turned around, and no one ever had to suffer at the hooves of her tormentor ever again. Ever since that day, the lantern has refused to ever let me pull another stunt like that. And I‘ve been warned that I will be stripped of my powers should a affect the waking world again.
And I can only hope that, somewhere, a little pony is celebrating her tea parties, in a place where no one can torment or make fun of her, forever.
Meeting the Moondreamers
You know, taking care of the dreams of ponies is hard enough. I could only imagine how difficult it would be to try to fufil the hopes and dreams of other races, as well. With ponies, I know what to expect- because, you know, I am one of them. But there are times when the workings of the minds of non-ponies are a total mystery to me. I cannot fathom how they could possibly think some of the things they think, and do some of the things they do. The closest I've ever gotten to fathoming the dreams of the other races, was the one time I had a little wager with a collegue of mine in this line of work.
It was about a month after I had taught that young colt Grafitti a lesson he'd never forget. (And yes, Tornado, you can tell your readers I really didn't turn him into a filly, that was just an extension of the dream before I finally allowed him to wake up. *Sigh* Sometimes, you're just no fun!) Anyway, I was on the second leg on my nightly journey, when I saw a white earth mare with a blue mane galloping arcoss the sky in front of me. At first I thought I was seeing things, until I saw the purple-haired humanoid fairy riding on her back. Noticing my spectral form as they crossed the sky, the fay called her mount to a halt right in front of me.
"Whoah, Andromeda!" The girl in the pink dress and tiara called out, pulling on her horse's reigns. "Hello there! You must be Twilight, Dream Glimmer's replacement. It's so nice to meet you!"
"And you must be Crystal Starr, leader of the Moon Dreamers." I gree her, bowing my head politely. "My predesscessor told me everything about you during my training, and it is truly an honor to meet you."
It truly was an honor to meet one of the moondreamers , the legendary troop of faries who live in the celestial city of Starry Up, and give dreams to Ponyland's human population. Standing far above the power level of the pony race, Crystal's team raises the sun in the skies over Ponyland in the morning, and bring on the beautiful starry night after the day is done.
"You are far too kind, my good little unicorn." The maiden smiled, running her fingers through her hair, to shake some of the stardust out. "Tell me, how is everything in the dreams of ponykind?"
"Oh, you know how it is, a daydream here, stopping a nightmare there." I reply with a giggle, shaking my own mane out. "Not as easy as keeping the dreams and wishes and dreams of humans satisfied, I suppose. But, you know, somehow I manage."
"Oh ho! So you think handling the dreams of humans is so easy, hmmm?" She asks me quizzically, cocking an eyebrow. "You would be amazed at how incredibly fickle these humans can be, how complex thier hopes and dreams are. I'd wager it's probably far easier to tend to the slumber of a bunch of silly ponies, who are sining and dancing and throwing tea parties all the time." Crystal yawned nonchalantly, looking diinterested as she spoke. "It's a task I could probably handle in my sleep- y'know, just like you do?"
Now,. looking back on the whole situation all these years later, I should have seen the ageless Moondreamer was simply teasing me with her remarks. But with silly little Twilight, so young and arrogant and full of hot tempered pride to even understand a concept like playful ribbing, took the fairy's joking as a very serious challenge.
"Is that so? We'll why don't we just find out whose got the tougher job?" I snorted, stamping my hoof in challenge. "Why don't I go to Sarry up, and take care of your human sleepers for a night, and you can go and handle my ponies throughout the confederacy for an evening." I smiled at her confidently shaking my mane. "We'll actually see whose job is really the hardest, and the one whose had the easier time of it, handle all the dreamwalking in Ponyland for a month!"
"Hmmm... I dunno, you are kind of new at this..." Crystal replied, crossing her arms in front of her girly pink princess dress with the star pattern on it. "It wouldn't be fair for an expert like me, to take on and so throughly humiliate a dream rookie like yourself."
"What's the matter, little miss Starr?" I asked smugly, giving her an incredulous look. " Afraid a rookie like me, will show an experienced dream walker like you, up?"
"Okay, little miss smarty, that does it!" She snapped, glaring at me. "You're on! Let's meet bac here in one week, and we'll switch places for a whole entire day!"
"Excellent!" I declare, ssatisfied. "I'll take over your duties in Starry up for twenty-four hours, and you can have my responsibilites at Dream Castle!"
"I'll inform Sparky, Celeste, and the others you'll be taking my place then." The Moondreamer replied, climbing back up onto her mount. "You're gonna regret you're boastful words, Twilgiht Shine! I promise you that!"
And with a tug on the reigns, her horse Andromeda took off across the sky like a bolt of lightning. And I just stood there, too awash in my own smug self-confidece to actually realize how stupid and foolhardy I had just been. I mean heck, I gave ponies dream and banished thier nightmares all the time! How much harder could it possibly be to take care of that with a buch of humans, a fairly feeble race that doesn't even have any magic. Unfortunately, I was about to learn exactly how hard the life of a Mondreamer could actually be, and how they have to face threats that we ignorant little ponies could only ever deam of.
There were times like this, Tornado, that I later wished I had learned to keep my big mouth shut at the right times.
Hearts of Humans
The human race... out of all of our allies, they are a species whose hearts are the closest to ponydom's. Like us, they are capable of great good and great evil. Like us, they can be kind or cruel, selfless or greedy, good or evil. Wither it's a trio of hateful witches out to kill us under a singing pile of magical goo, or a sweet little girl whose only desire is to save us from a crazed centaur, humanity is a race that is as diverse as it is unpredictable. I, myself, dearly love our 'simian allies', as some ponies have called them. But not everyone in Ponyland exactly feels this way.
Answering the bet I made with the Moondreamers, I spent an evening whisking my way through the dreams of humankind. There, I found a curious variety of nocturnal images playing out in the minds of these sleeping humans, some of which surprised me and some didn't. there was the usual I've seen in the dreams of other ponies; hopes of young children in future careers, the desire of stallio- er. men finding the woman of their dreams, or the women trying to find the men of their dreams. So many of the dreams I went through were exactly as I expected- a squire who wishes to be a knight here, a little lass who wants to be a powerful sorceress there.
And just as I did with slumbering ponies, I grant their wishes in their dreams But... there are human beings who seem to have desires and wishes that are truly... strange and disturbing. I found a woman in the real world, who was angry at her husband for cheating on her, and I granted her that revenge by making her cheating mate suffer in her dream, as his own lover leaves him alone while his former wife standing there laughing. A young man felt he had been wronged by a greedy merchant who had sold him a shoddy set of tools. To him I give a dream of the merchant being robbed by trolls, and he gets the smug satisfaction of watching the merchant get his life torn apart.
These people... look, I know they were wronged. And I know, just like any of to be ponies, they would want to be emotionally compensated for what had been done to them. I even know there are a few ponies out there who would push that desire for compensation, be it emotional or physical, all the way to a desire for revenge. But... I presented these people with alternatives to revenge in the Dreams I gave them- I had the woman met a new true love to mend her broken heart, and had the man find a treasure worth more than what he had been cheated out of. Both humans turned these gifts down to preference to getting their vengeance, and I was left dumbfounded by a level of hate I've never encountered in a sentient being who was not evil.
And that, was my biggest problem with this situation- these people were NOT evil. They are what we would consider normal citizens, with normal lives, who have normal family and friends who care about them. In these humans, I see an inner darkness and single minded selfishness that they keep suppressed. A hidden dark side, a voice whispering dark desires into the back of their minds, and filling their hearts with shadows that these humans must constantly fight off, lest they fall to their own inner demons. I have never seen this kind of shadow in the heart of a pony, and I cannot help but think of the comments made by the few ponies that despise humans; about what kind of evil dwells in thier cunning ape brains. They say we should look upon the humans with caution and fear.
I have often been told that humans were evil, and I have often denied it whenever those few anti-human bigots would spout off thier vile lies bout a race that includes so many of our valuable and dear friends. Again and again they point thier hooves at humanity's selfishness and hatred, and thier opinions were only reinforced by the acts of violene, theivery, and murder I witnessed in humanity's subconsciousness. The more I delved into thier hearts and minds to find signs of humanity's goodness, the more I saw the truth of what the pony bigots had been saying about the faults and failings of the human race.
And yet, the very fact that these ponies say these things, forces me to realize that that same darkness may exist within the hearts of our own pony race, as well. Maybe I've just been refusing to see it in the dreams of the ponies under my care. Maybe... maybe it's not just the evil ponies that harbor a dark side, and maybe I'm just being naive in my belief that all ponies and humans who aren't evil are, at their core, inherently good in their hearts, minds, and souls. But even if this so, it is an innocent bliss that I will continue to live in, believing in only the best in both species, despite what the skeptics and cynics may say about them. People and ponies are inherently good, it's just both of them have a lot of issues to deal with in their own hearts.
Hm, perhaps the moondreamers did have a valuable lesson to teach me by doing this. All right Crystal , you won your bet about the nature of humanity, and how I'd handle it. I did indeed learn something of not only about the race who is our closest of friends, but also about my own percetions and presumtions about them and thier nature. Now if you'll excuse me, since this is only a one-time only job, and I don't have to worry about reprisal from the starlight lantern, I have three witches in a certain volcano I want to give a few bad dreams to, heh heh heh....
Bats in my Belfry
This little tale actually comes from late in my second year as a Dream Beauty of Ponyland, and was an incident more embarrassing than anything else. You've all heard of Princess Luna's Bat pony watch guard, haven't you? Those creepy night ponies in the purple armor with the fuzzy ears from all the ledgends? Well, I know more about those night ponies firsthand, that any of you other ponies could possibly imagine...
"Lady Twilight, is there anything we can do for you?"
"Lady Twilight, just let us know if we can get something for you- just give the word!"
"You look tired, Lady Twilight... could I get you something to drink?"
Uggghhhhh... if there's one thing I really don't like about being a Dream Beauty, it would be these guys. The bat ponies of the Night Watch, those mysterious Pegasus offshoot sub-race with leathery wings and bat like eyes. Once the royal guard of the fallen Princess Luna, these fanged fellows now follow whatever Dream Beauty is currently using the Star Shine lantern to fulfill Luna's role as the protector of pony dreams.
"Moon Shadow, would you please stop brushing my mane so hard?" I yell at the bat mare running a brush through my mane. "You're not getting the tangles out, you're making them worse!"
"Oh! I'm so sorry, my lady!" The dusk-colored mare apologized, lowering the painful wire brush she was holding in her wing. "Should I start applying the polish to your hooves now, instead?"
"Yeah, go ahead." I sigh, reclining in the obsidian throne I was perched upon, and looking at the other bat mare that was sitting in front of me. "Moonglow, could you go easy when you apply my lipstick this time? I don't want that red gunk smeared across my face again!"
"Sorry, my lady." The other mare apologized. "I swear it won't happen again!"
It was right after I had started my duties that I discovered my new 'servants', the simply flew up to me one night and introduced themselves. Oh, my predecessor had told me about them- they had served her in a similar manner- but to actually have these wierdoes following me around everywhere, catering to my every whim... it can be disconcerting, to say the least. At least it's only during the night hours, though- they return to their slumber during the daytime. Good gravy, why can't they just go and live with the small colony of bat ponies in New Equestria? But no, I'm stuck with an army of vampire wannabies.
"My lady, morning is almost here." Moon Shadow declares, putting the finishing touches on my hoof polish. "Should we close up the Dream Court for the evening?"
"Patience, Shadow." I reply, sitting up in my throne again. "Let's wait until Nocturne arrives to deliver his report."
It is custom for the reigning Dream Beauty to hold nocturnal court once a month, so that ponies in the waking world from all across Ponyland can come and air their grievances on any unhappy dreams or nightmares I had given them. Majesty allows me usage of the Dream Castle throne room for this night of the month, and I myself get to pretend I am a reigning monarch, wearing my ancestor Princess Twilight's crown, and a suit of purple nocturnal regalia. The bat mares usually serve as my ladies in waiting at the evening court, I usually customarily close out the night with a report from the commander of my Guard,
I have most of the male bat pony guards serving nocturnal duty for Dream Castle, easing the burden on Queen Majesty's guards. As I look up, I see three bat pony guards in full armor fly in through the window, when they all trot up and bow before me.
"Lady Twilight, we have finished our rounds for the night." their captain says humbly, lowering his head before me. "I am pleased to report that all is safe and sound with the slumber of the ponies of Dream Valley."
Nocturne.. as loyal a servant and friend that any Dream Beauty could ask for, it is he I rely upon to spread good dreams on this one night I am busy and must stay awake. Whilst Moonshadow has been the bat pony I have confided in the most, it is Nocturne whom I rely on to get things done for me that relate to my Dream Duties in the waking world. He is through, carrying out his duties with a speedy efficiency that you normally don't find in the daytime ponies. He is both the strongest and most gentle bat pony I have ever known.
"Very good, captain, you have once again carried out your duties with a remarkable ability and skill." I saw with a smile, trying to stifle a yawn. "I trust, as always, you were not seen by the ponies of Ponyland?"
I was hopeful they had been able to carry out their nocturnal duties without being detected- I still hadn't revealed my loyal 'servants to most of the denizens of Ponyland, and wanted said revelation to come slowly and diplomatically.
"Uh... actually, my lady..." The bat pony in armor stuttered, looking down at the ground to avoid my gaze. "There was an accident involving one of my lieutenants, and the Pegasus pony Heart Throb..."
Suddenly I felt my heart sink in my chest, as I realized that this wouldn't be any simpler than anything else in my life had been since I took up my 'special talent'. Rubbing my temples with my hoof, I sighed and looked down at the remorseful stallion before me.
"What have your foolish subordinates done this time?"
Sparkly Twilight
"Okay, now... let me see if I got this straight..." I snap angrily at the captain before me, pacing back and forth before my nocturnal throne. "One of your lieutenants was checking on Heart Throb directly, thinking she was having a nightmare?"
"That is correct, my princess." The nervous Nocturne replied, his bat wings drooping. "He apparently found the mare rather attractive, and flapped in to take a closer look."
"But apparently when he got closer, the klutz happened to knock her lamp off of her nightstand." I groan, sitting back down in my throne, and burying my face in my hooves. "And Heart Throb woke up to the noise, but your subordinate was surprisingly lucky that Miss Throb didn't scream."
"Y-yes, my princess." He gulped, sweat trickling down his brow. "Apparently, she thought he was a-a pony vampire, ready to bite her."
At that, I only shake my head in response. Of course Heart Throb would think a bat pony sneaking around in her room was some mysterious and seductive vampire, with all the human romance novels that pink Pegasus reads. And from what captain Nocturne has told me, she apparently told the surprised bat pony to bite her, and make her a creature of the night.
"She thought that klutz was there to pull a Dracula, and seduce her." I explain to the bat ponies gathered before me. "In human culture, it is considered romantic for a mysterious and handsome vampire to sweep you off your hooves, and carry you off. And Heart Throb is obsessed with the romantic aspects of human culture!"
This was exactly the kind of first interaction between normal ponies and bat ponies I was trying to avoid. Now what would Ponyland equines think of the thestrals after this got out? And what would they think of me for hiding something like this from all of them? My mind raced over and over fopr how I was going to stop this whole problem from turning into an even worse disaster.
"Eeeeeewwww! How could anyone think it's romantic to be carried off by a gross bloodsucking monster, and them have turn you into one too?!"
"What is wrong with these human women and Heart Throb?!" One of the female bat pony guards asked, all of the other bat-mares nodding their heads in agreement. "Sounds like they need their heads examined, if you ask me!"
"Look, princess... we need to figure out what to do about Miss Heart Throb." The exasperated Nocturne explained. "The guard was able to swear her to silence for the moment, but if enough nights without another visit go by, and she might open her mouth and say something to the other ponies!"
"Then at least for now, we'll have to send a bat stallion to her on a weekly basis, to play the part of a seducing vampire." I tell him, leading to a whole bunch of gasps from the thestrals gathered in the throne room. “We’ll just have to play to her fantasy, until I can figure a way out of this mess.”
"My princess, no!" Captain Nocturne pleaded. "Certainly you wouldn't force one of our stallions to degrade himself by playing that horrible stereotype!"
"Captain, this is a mess that you and your guard made, by not being more stealthy during your missions!" I reply firmly, slamming my crescent moon staff on the floor with my hooves. "If the ponies of Ponyland were to discover you like this, it would cause fear and panic on a level not seen since Tirac's last rampage." I looked back at my gathered guards, narrowing my eyes. "I am truly sorry about this, but I fear the only way out of this mess is for one of you to play the part of one of the creatures of the night so many ponies of the past feared you to be."
The captain glared at me for a moment, then bowed coldly. "As you wish, my princess." He looked back at the other thestrals. "The rest of you, dismissed."
I could tell he was upset, they all were. But blast it... what was I supposed to do? As the bat-ponies filed out of the room. I could already hear their words of discontent drifting into my ears.
"Can you believe our lady's orders?" One of the guards grumbled. "Now every pony in Ponyland's gonna start carrying a cross and holy water in thier saddlebags!"
"I just hope they don't try to stake us!" Another guard groaned, trotting out the door at the opposite end of the room. "Maybe we should start carrying small mirrors to prove we have reflections!"
"Hey, maybe being a vampire would be kinda cool!" A bat-stallion told his girlfriend, as the two thestrals trotted out. "Hey Bella, wouldn't it be fun to sparkle like they do?"
"Edward, would you please keep your blasted mouth shut?!" The angry mare replied, smacking her boyfriend up alongside the back of the head. "Every time you open it, your stupid comes out!"
And as the last of my loyal guard filed out, my chief lady in waiting approached me. "My princess, was it really necessary to burden them with this whole 'vampire' thing? I mean, all things considered, haven't we thestrals suffered enough?"
"I'm saving your tribe a lot more grief, Moon Shadow, believe me." I reply. looking down at the night princess armor I wore every evening to carry out my nocturnal duties. "Now would you please help me get out of this thing? This stupid thong is riding up my flank again!"
Terrifically Tedious
“Twilight! Price check per pound on those strawberries, pronto!” The manager calls out to me, operating the cash register at the checkout line with his hooves. “A customer wants four cartons full for her son’s graduation party!”
“Coming right up, sir!” I yell back, tying on my apron, and pushing my cart back into the produce room. I had just finished filling the grapes and apples, and was about to take inventory on the bagged salads. Looking through the price sheets for the various types of fruit, I stick my head out the door, and yell back to my boss. “Six bucks a pound! I’d tell her to go with the six pound cartons if it’s for a party!” TUrning back towards my cart, I cut open the box of pears to refill the display stand in front of me. Who knew working as a produce pony in a grocery store could be such uninteresting work?
Ugh! It is another one of THOSE dreams, where I am going about the most boring and mundane activities imaginable. Why do Bright Valley ponies waste their dreams, their one escape from the daily grind of the boring, business-centered lives the equines of this town lead. And what do they envision in their slumber? Being successful at their miserable little careers, wanting to get ahead at jobs that would bore a mare like myself to tears. All these ponies in this town can even think about is money, money, money!
After cutting about a dozen heads of celery, I wheel my cart out into the aisle and finish filling the wet produce shelf. I rush to try to get the shelves filled with product, even as the grumpy and pushy supvisor keeps an eye on me, making sure I do my work properly. This slumbering stallion works in a produce department at his local market, and is now dreaming of being the manager of said store. My role in the dream is filling his job as the lowly employee, and you can imagine how much I enjoy doing such tedious busywork. How can a pony dream of making another pony miserable like this, and call it 'being sucsessful'? It's something a laid-back mare such as myself cannot understand.
Anywhere else in Ponyland I’d be helping a mare win the heart of the love of her life, or helping some young colt fight a space battle. But here I am stuck doing boring old grunt labor. But nooo, this grocery clerk dreams of making even more money than he already has, and I'm stuck helping him carry out his extremely self-centered goal as his assistant in his dream. I am so annoyed by the thought of what I’m being forced to do, that I don’t even notice I’ve cut my own hoof on the metal cart, and it’s bleeding.
“Ouch.” I reply after the fact, pretending I had actually felt pain. For me, the dreams of other ponies are a little like watching a movie- I don’t actually feel or taste anything I experience in another pony’s sleep, so I have to imagine what I do in a dream must feel like. I can't even feel the warmpth of another pony's hoof touch in my dreams. My only consolation for this annoyance, is the fact I can’t feel all the aches and pains from this eight-hour shift I’m pulling here. I can only imagine the aches and pains a pony actually doing this work must have, at the end of a full-time shift at night.
I really don’t get this… how can anybody's dream- anybody's special talent, thier very purpose for living- be all about the aqusition of wealth? In all of the rest of Ponyland we barter for things, taking only what we need for our comfort. These Bright Valley ponies seek to build up a huge pile of money they are never going to use, and buy luxuries they will enjoy once, then toss in the corner and forget about. Nowhere else in Ponyland have I seen equines with such ridiculously large fourtunes, side by side with poorer ponies taking shelter in pitiful hovels, and starving. It seems so greedy and wasteful to me, not to mention cruel to the other ponies you are tramping underhoof in your oh-so-important 'rise to the top'.
Why would a pony take more then they need, and leave others to starve? Even Queen Majesty lives in no better quarters in Dream Castle and eats no better food than the rest of us- the only things that set her apart is the power asnd prestige her authority gives her over us. How can the eath ponies of this town take such pleasure in cold, lifeless metal coins, and callcompete against each other for sucsess, and call it 'getting ahead'? The rest of us work together as a herd in cooperation, but the way of Bright Valley is 'survival of the fittest'.
"Twilight! Where are those heads of cabbage?!" My impatient manger barks out again. "Customers will be asking for those if they're not out in the display case soon! Hurry up and move your flank back there!"
Sigh. Well, if greed and ruthlessness are what make these ponies happy, then more power to them. I've got too much to worry about wih this whole bat pony mess and what's going to happen with heart throb. So, I really think it's time for me to stop contemplatingh things here, and get these carrots out to the display case before my shift is done. I just hope that though thier bussiness savvy and profits, these Bright Valley ponies really are finding the happiness they are looking for...
Oh great, I forgot to take temperature check. Now he's got another reason to bitch and moan at me again. I almost pity this stallion's employees if ever ever actually DOES become a manager like he wants to. That does it, I'm out of this ridiculous dream!
Finale- a Nosy newspony
Well, there you have it. Crazy batpony underlings, ponies with odd and disturbing dreams, cleaning out nightmares and giving ponies a blissful slumber... this is my life, my destiny seeing to the needs of all of Ponyland. I am the succsessor in a long line of dream beauties, and I inherited all of thier problems, along with having to deal with all of the questions that they had to stuggle with throughout Ponyland's history. We are still trying to sort out the mess with the batponies... though we did finally did get Heart Throb to accept that her 'fanged lover' was just a dream. But that still doesn't change the fact we'll be dealing with stories of 'vampire ponies' for a long time to come.
But before I end this little story of the small petty annoyances in my life, I have to comaplain about one final problem that has been tormenting me as of late. There has been this certain, obnoxious reporter pony- named Diary Journal, I believe- who has been making a particular nusiance of herself in my personal life. Now, I normally don't give much thought to the ponyparattzi- what intrest do they have in a lowly dream beauty who just happens to have a harmony bearer pedigree, after all? But this particular blue earth pony has gone above and beyond the call of duty in sitcking her snout into my personal business! The nerve of this mare, following me around with that stupid instamatic camera of hers!
I mean, I've read a lot of Diary's work... there's a whole stack of copies of the Bight Valley tattler in the bathroom (I love thier make up and beauty tips, and they have some awesome recipies in there!) But I really, really don't like it when I get a camera shoved in my face when I'm playing hoofball with firefly, or when someone's listening on my converstaions with Glory at the Satin Slipper. That obnoxious little tattler is really getting on my nerves! I'm tired of her popping up at the most inoppoutune times, and asking me the most private and emarrasing questions! What did she do, stalk me around everwhere?!?
But the worst was this past Valentine's day, where Tornado brought me home a box of choclates and some roses, and we sent Ember away to spend the night at a friends place. That sweetheart lit a hundred candles, and played a record of the sweetest and most romantic melody by the Dance n' Twirls, my favorite pony band. He even slaved over the oven for two hours to cook me the most deliscoius platter of spagetti and meatballs to share, after which we cuddled up on the couch together, and began to express our love together in what should have been the most romantic and magical night of my life....
...only to have it ruined the next day, with explict photographs of Tornado and I splattered all over the insides of her cheap gossip rag! We didn't know she was hiding behind that curtain happily snapping picutres at what was supposed to be a private moment for a couple! Now I can't even show my face in Bright Valley without someonepointing and snickering, and I try to blush and run away out of sheer embarassment! Miss Diary, I know you like freedom of the press and all, but I do not appreciate all of Ponyland seeing Tornado and I breeding, you flanking little sk- (Next two sentences censored by Tornado... great horsemaster I had no idea angry mares could curse like that! O_o )
So I'm closing this series of entries out with a warning; do NOT make the mare who makes your dreams angry, it could really get in the way of you getting a good night's sleep! I put up with a lot of garbage from a lot of ponies, from whining about not getting the dreams they wanted, to those Equestriaphiles who yell at me for not being Twilight Sparkle. I've had just about enough of the cruel and insulting bile you've all been spewing at me for years, so don't blame me when you get nightmares keeping you awake because I'm angry at you!
Hey, I know, why don't all you ungreaful little snots come and try to do this thankless job on your own, and I'll go rest and get a good night's sleep in your place! Then you can deal with the slavishly loyal bat ponies, uncomfortable uniforms that don't conform to a pony's anatomy, and the dark and disgusting nightime fantasies of every preverted stallion in the world, and let's see how YOU like it! I honestly don't know how Princess Luna kept her sanity through all this maddness, I'd go insane if I had to do this century in, century out... dealing with all of these ungrateful, idioitc, spoiled-
*sigh* I'm sorry, I really don't mean that. But these things can really wear on a pony's nerves from time to time, and it's really hard keeping a lid on these things sometimes. I just wish I could get the sweet dreams that I give the rest of you... that is a pleasure I really haven't enjoyed in a long, long time. I really hope you all enjoy the hard work I do in crafting these masterpieces you experince in you hours of repose, and if you happen to see a little pink uncorn trotting around in your dreams, you might want to stop and thank her for all of the work she's done.
Because let me tell you... She'd really appricate it!
