The Making of Sweetie Belle and Button's Kid
PONIES ARE AGED UP TEENAGERS OF SEXUAL MATURITY, DON'T CRY FOALCONNERS
"Button! Button!" Sweetie Belle called as she opened the door to the Mash household. Her high-pitched voice echoed off the walls of the gigantic building; everypony in PonyVille knew that the Mashes were loaded and many ponies often teased Sweetie Belle, girlfriend of the youngest of the family, Button, that she was in the relationship for the money. But she'd roll her eyes at this ton of baloney; if any of the two were uncommitted to the relationship, it was Button. Who was, as Sweetie Belle correctly assumed, holed up the dank* recesses of his filthy room (which was getting worse as his mother wasn't at home during the week).
"OH MY CELESTIA!!" came a prepubescent scream from Button's room. Sweetie couldn't help but face-hoof herself as she trotted up the steps of the staircase right beside the door, nearly begrudgingly. As kids, they'd chase each other excitedly up and down these flights, their excitement at its youthful peak as Button's mother watched on in amusement as she tirelessly ensured the halls of their home were spick and span. Now, the halls were empty, and home to dust mites and centipedes or whatever filth there was that could find its way from the garden outside into the house. Even after a week without Button's mom, (off to Manehattan to visit her husband, of which the very idea repulsed Button) the house was a clear wreck, as Sweetie Belle jumped but stifled a high-pitched yelp of fear at the scurry of a fat, red-eyed brown rat.
Finding the room that she so often entered in excitement in the past, when she expected a beaming Button behind it to usher her in and start playing games, she now pressed her ears against the dust-caked door, hearing the sound of machine guns firing high-speed volleys and the growl of military commanders announcing killstreaks and score ties and leads. Sweetie Belle sighed. Ever since Button and his mom got into a fight over the Manehattan trip, he was inseparable from his life in Xbone live and Call of Cutie, Ghoulz, the 'hot' game according to Button. It was just another excuse to keep playing the Xbone and alienate himself from everypony around him; after all, Sweetie Belle did her research and found out that this game was a carbon copy of the previous installments in the series and one of its only highlights was an 'advanced' fish AI which honestly wasn't significant enough to be considered a highlight.
"BUCKKKKKK!!!!!!" came the extremely vulgar jarring cry of Button, to which Sweetie Belle cringed and flopped her ears shut. She couldn't take it anymore and had to act; Button's antics were getting out of control and had to be suppressed. With a slam, she forced the door open, sending it swinging and banging against the wall beside it.
"BUTTON! That's enough! Stop playing and come to me!" cried Sweetie Belle. Button was in a sitting position on the edge of his bed, with controller in both hooves, and he immediately turned his head towards his girlfriend. His face wasn't as full or wide as it was in his youth, and his lighter brown hair was unkempt and having split ends. His dark brown coated frame was also considerably thinner and lankier. His eyes had bags beneath them and his pupils had lightning-jagged veins networking across the surrounding whites of his eyes. His spinner hat from his younger days was gone, and in it's place was a... a fedora. Sweetie Belle gave a shocked gasp at the sight of the fedora.
"No..." she whispered, hoof over her mouth as Button turned back to his game about as fast as he had turned to Sweetie Belle, without making so much as a murmur of sound. Sweetie Belle gave a grumpy huff as she strode defiantly over to Button. She had to take things into her own hooves.
"Button! I said..." she started, as she stretched out a hoof and brought it down onto the controller. Button's own hooves, cold and shivering from the relentlessly long hours under air-conditioning, offered little resistance and immediately gave way, causing the controller to fall and clatter onto the floor. Button's bloodshot eyes widened and he turned to face Sweetie Belle, stretching his hooves out to push her in anger but doing little, with the gaming hours taking a toll on his strength. For her part, Sweetie Belle ignored the cold feeling of his hooves and planted her own hooves firmly, ready for whatever Button had to say.
"You little... you little shit!" cried a hoarse Button, to which Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. Weren't they supposed to be girlfriend and boyfriend? "I need to play my freaking game and you just come in here an--"
"No, you listen here gamerboy five-ever 1990," using his Xbone in-game name, "I don't give an flying feather about your game. I just want you to come back! To PonyVille! To your friends! To... to me... and, WOAH, what in Celestia's name is that?"
Sweetie Belle trailed off, but her focus weren't on Button. Actually it was, but not to his face. Button raised an eyebrow, then realized where her eyes were and turned away immediately, letting his back face Sweetie Belle.
"I didn't know you were that happy to see me, Button," said Sweetie Belle, her cheeks reddening rapidly. There was a fire that was starting way down south for her, a fire that would be rude to extinguish in the presence of anypony other than herself and a very special somepony, a fire that was becoming more frequent as that time of the year drew ever nearer for Sweetie Belle, but that fire was mild. For now.
"N-No! It's just that..." said Button, trailing off into an incoherent murmur. Sweetie Belle couldn't help but giggle at Button's vulnerability in his rather... hard situation.
"Look, I get hard when I play games, all right! It's the... the adrenaline rush! Now LEAVE ME!" yelled Button as he reached for his controller and started finding a new multiplayer game on Call of Cutie, his gaze shifting and locking onto the game and looking unlikely to turn back to Sweetie Belle. Normally, Sweetie Belle would have called their relationship quits then and there, but instinct was telling her to stay. That-time-of-the-year was telling her to do her best to divert Button's attention away from the TV screen and to something much more... delectable. Anyway, she was tired of clopping away at her estrus and needed a real stallion, so there was one right there, ripe and juicy as an apple personally hoof-picked by Granny Smith. It was going to be a bold move, but it was worth a shot; after all, if it was successful, Button would be eating out of her hoof. Or eating her out. And she wouldn't need to bring in any chains or cuffs to drag him around against his will to return to society.
"I love you," said Sweetie Belle quietly as she trotted slowly to her (she hoped!) boyfriend, who stared intently at the screen as the game readied up, trying his best to ignore Sweetie's advances. She lowered herself down in front of Button, her forelegs straightened and crossed and her hindlegs bent and at rest. Her warm rump on the frigid floor and her increasingly warmer loins were a safe distance from the cold ground. Her green eyes widened as she looked straight ahead at the fine specimen before her, with Button's junk at her eye level. This sight of a desperate teenage mare would have been unbearably hot or endearing to any sane stallion, and even more so to a stallion who didn't frequently get plot. But Button couldn't give two lumps of manure about anything other than his in-game soldier and his gameplay.
The brown scrotum was resting on the bedsheets, and held two round globes that jiggled in their sacks every time Button's erection twitched too and fro. And the rod itself; it was split into two distinctive parts, nearly equal in length: a brown segment at its base that emerged out of the scrotum and a pink yet spotted black upper segment that ended off in a flat, wrinkled head with a wide slit for whatever liquid the penis needed to expel. The two segments were separated by a fat ring of flesh. Everything amounted to about 15 inches and was parallel to his own stomach. The rod seemed to quiver up and down, which might have been due to Button's escalating excitement to his game, the latter of which was loud but surprisingly seemed foreign and muted to Sweetie Belle as she tipped her head forward, and hoped against all hope that Button wouldn't react to this as belligerently as he did to her flicking his controller off.
"Ah! Ooooo," purred Button as Sweetie Belle trailed her wet tongue up Button's length, starting from his scrotum and through the entire roughness of his erected soldier, letting his quivering penis rest against her lively, cosy folded tongue, ending with a 'shlick' as her tongue pushed forward and flicked off the top of his penis, sending it rocking to and fro like a slow and antique metal metronome. Sweetie Belle smiled at Button's reaction, but was slightly disappointed that it was all she got; he resumed his playing afterwards as if nothing had happened. She had to put a bit more into her performance, and delved deep into her mind for the inner pervert she developed from reading her sister's collection of raunchy novels.
She started from the base yet again and ascended, still using her tongue, but having her head hover above his flared cylinder shaped head, while her tongue escaped her mouth and started going circles around Button's head. Her tongue had the motions of his penis in its control now, as its muscular form pushed his 'joystick' around. Her eyes were open and could see and feel the heartbeat of Button accelerating, with his chest heaving up and down more rapidly and his member growing more excited in its motions. It could've lengthened in the past minute or so, but Sweetie Belle was too engrossed in her lewd act to notice. Her ears perked up at Button's dialogue in the game.
"Hey-uh, Rumble, I think that, ah... I- I- I think that I'm going shotgun class for these sc- scruuuubs," Button managed as Sweetie Belle increased the rapidness of her tongue licks around his member.
"Sure. Are you fine over there? It's like you're doing something else, man," replied his friend Rumble, who was in the same game.
"Sure!" said Button as he gasped as Sweetie Belle 'took the plunge', taking half of the rod into her mouth, making sure that the inside of her mouth was thoroughly coated in stimulating saliva. She could feel the thickness of the member in her mouth and the warmth it was radiating through the walls of her mouth. She managed to get her tongue to aid her mouth in the pleasure, having just enough room in her mouth to give the shaft the occasional lick or two in between blows. Her eyes looked on to his stomach, lust-filled and half-lidded as she ascended up the length, leaving behind a clear sheen of dripping saliva on the pink penis.
"BOOM! Ch-chick," said Button as he mimicked the sounds of his shotgun. Sweetie Belle decided to play along.
BOOM! Ch-Chick.
Sh-shlosh, went Sweetie Belle as she cocked Button's cock with her mouth in synchronization with the shotgun. Sweetie Belle smiled, dick in mouth, as she realized that Button's concentration was going off, with his in-game soldier dying a lot more times than he expected. By then, Button's shaft was heavily coated with rich saliva and well lubed up, but she still kept going, the tireless bobbing of her head giving pleasurable friction to Button's flared head, and providing a cosy house of warmness and moistness for his penis. With each bob, her head delved deeper down his shaft, and her head turned occasionally to divert away from boring up-and-down sucking, and turning towards the left and right as well, making sure to soak the entirety of his length.
"You alright there, Button? You're dying an awful lot," said Rumble as Button's pitiful score of 2 - 11 flashed on the screen. Normally, he would've seen this as reason to pump up his concentration into the game but the feeling of warmth and moisture on his cock was not a feeling he wanted to stop. It was a better feeling than hitting a noscope on a game winning killcam. He wanted to reply, but only incoherent mumble escaped his lips as Sweetie Belle increased the frequency of her head bobs. The slick sound of Sweetie Belle's lips against his meat weren't helping his gaming sense either.
"It's alright, Button. I like going for a joint now and then to accompany my gaming. Heh, I die a lot in that case but whatever, I get high. 420 everyday, all day," said Rumble, and he started singing this song.
Button couldn't hear the game and his hooves shook as he flung his controller to one side of his room. But before Sweetie Belle could react, Button brought his front hooves down on Sweetie Belle's head, forcing her further down his shaft until her mouth hit the bottom. He groaned as he relaxed his force on her head, allowing her to move up his entire length. This time, she left his flared head with a 'pop', leaving a trail of saliva between Button's cock head and her mouth.
"Come on, big boy. Buck Call of Cutie and... 360 no scope me in your bed, please?" said Sweetie Belle uncertainly, remembering their younger days playing the first few installments of Call of Cutie. Button looked down at her and gave her the first smile of the day and gave a quick glance at his thoroughly soaked cock.
"Girl, I'll 1080 no scope faze temperrr wallbang across the map claymore cancel you," said Button confidently, and Sweetie Belle had no idea what he said. But she was taken aback when Button seemed to have newfound swagger, as he grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her onto the bed, controller and game totally forgotten. He gave a smirk as he looked down at where Sweetie Belle was once sitting and found a small puddle of clear liquid. Without a word, he looked at a slightly confused Sweetie Belle and lunged at her, eliciting a squeal of happy excitement from Sweetie Belle as his lips mashed against hers.
Button placed his hooves on either side of Sweetie Belle, then tipped his head in for the main attraction, in the process making the bed squeak loudly under his weight. In a more comfortable position, he could afford to control his lips a bit more fluidly. They had done this before, on a childhood summer's night when they were young and life was fast-paced and without a care. They relaxed in bed, just like how they had done many times in the days of their youth, as Button's lips enclosed her own, enveloping them in wild warmness as they wrapped themselves and explored the entire length of her lips, which were reciprocating in kind. The mutuality of the situation was strong, with each pony gasping in between kisses and returning them with the right level of control and passion in the strokes that their lips would make over the other's. The intimacy was kicked up when Sweetie Belle moaned into his mouth, prompting him to pump up the passion. She could feel the force of his jaw jamming up against her mouth, sending electrical volts of ecstasy up her spine. Button, on the other hoof, enjoyed the pillowy softness of the mare's mouth, and could swear he was tasting something sweet as he constantly felt his lips around hers. She wrapped her legs around his back, drawing herself closer to Button, whose hard cock was pressing and smearing Sweetie Belle's oral juices all over her furry stomach. Sweetie Belle felt his mouth open and warm breath flood her face as he pushed his strong tongue into her open mouth, taking her aback at first but then getting the message, engaging in a tussle for dominance as their tongues snaked and danced around for dominance. Then they released at the same time, and Sweetie Belle had a fire in her eyes that rarely came around. **
"Let's do it!" she cried as she turned around, her hooves pacing around the soft bedsheets, in the process flicking her bouncy tail below Button's snout, the scent of estrus hardening him even further than he already was. He could only watch, slack jawed at Sweetie Belle as her tail lifted up, revealing a dripping collection of pink folds rimmed by two folds of fur-coated skin. He immediately rushed forward wildly, his snout zeroing in on Sweetie Belle's winking vulva. Sweetie Belle took in a sharp gasp of air as she felt her folds shift and make way for his tunneling snout.
"Yeah, baby, clean out my gun," moaned Sweetie Belle as Button's tongue swirled around Sweetie's vaginal folds. His snout was a warm, foreign object that felt many times better than her hoof; it was alive, like an explorer in the Caverns of Time, doing his best to thoroughly discover and feel Sweetie's insides to find hidden treasure. After about 5 minutes of this motion, Sweetie felt her core ready for imminent liquid expulsion, and briefly tightened her vag's muscular grip onto her lover's snout, and promptly released the floodgates onto Button's face.
"Ah! Keep digging, you might find the obsidian, heehee," said Sweetie Belle, drunk with lust as her front legs pressed against the wall behind the bed, balancing her as she gyrated her hips to Button's licks. Button pulled his head back and gave one long cold lick up her vulva and between her ass crack, pushing her tail out of the way and dragging it up across her back, sending ecstatic shudders up Sweetie's spine. Button rained kisses all over the top and bottom side of her neck, and while doing so, reached two hooves onto her belly, skillfully flipping her over onto her back. Now he had the full view of his prey: Her purple and white mane was already ruffled and her hair had split ends, but her smile and her half-lidded eyes were saying 'desperation'. Her front hooves were held up in front of her like a bunny while her hind legs were bended but spread wide apart to reveal a juicy and dripping marehood. It begged to be juiced even further.
"Wreck me! You dirty scrub!" cried Sweetie Belle, her hormones on an all time high as Button placed his stallionhood's tip teasingly at her vag's entrance, probing it tenderly and making circles, eliciting aroused yet frustrated calls from Sweetie Belle. Her hips tried to buck towards Button's cock, but he'd pull himself back with a mischievous smile on his face. She couldn't take it anymore and brought her back up, placing two hooves onto the back of a surprised Button and pulling him onto her, in the process forcing all 15 inches of his engorged stallionhood slamming into her in one swift motion, drawing a loud cry of pain and pleasure from Sweetie Belle which could have been heard for blocks around. Her eyes slammed shut and her face winced, causing Button to stop where he was, still embedded inside Sweetie Belle, a look of concern on his face.
"You alright there, Sweets?" said Button, leaning in to nuzzle her. She shook her head and gave Button a grin.
"Buck me senseless... please..." said Sweetie Belle weakly as she pulled Button in for a deep kiss. Button felt his cock getting squeezed by Sweetie Belle's clenching walls and was aching to retract his cock, to slam it yet again through Sweetie's cervix.
"What are you waiting for, goofball? I said let's buck," said Sweetie Belle, raising an eyebrow. Button chuckled and started pulling back, to the ecstasy of both ponies. Button could feel the moist folds caress his dick warmly, moving as his cock moved and making his rod slick with generous amounts of feminine juice. Button tried not to think about this, of course, lest he cum early. He could comfortably retract about half his length in this missionary position, but he could tell that even that much was more than enough for Sweetie Belle, whose tongue lolled out of her mouth, looking lost in thought.
"Don't just stand there, rut me like an LSAT!!" cried Sweetie Belle, referring to an LMG in Call of Cutie. Button gleefully complied, repeating his thrusts, hitting Sweetie's cervix which each thrust with his lengthy cock while Sweetie Belle gave Button cringeworthy Call of Cutie-related advice.
"OH! BUTTON! You're nearing your guard dog streak!" screamed Sweetie Belle as she reached her first orgasm, spraying heavenly femjuice all over Button's fur on the underside of his thighs. Button stopped briefly to admire Sweetie's douche nozzle, then resumed his thrusting.
"Button! Fire in the --nmf!-- hole!" warned Sweetie Belle as Button relentlessly pumped his hips, driving his diamond-hard meatstick into her again and again like a mindless beast of sex. He tried not to think of the juices that were pooling up on his scrotum and his thighs, and not to mention the mess that he needed to clean up that was gathering on the bedsheets. Sweetie Belle sure can cum, thought Button, as she released her next torrent of fluids, barely 10 minutes after her first wave. However, she didn't seem to mind the energy-draining process of ejaculation. Fact is, she wanted more.
"Button! Turn on your rapid fire or-- or else!" cried Sweetie Belle, obviously unsatisfied at Button's pace of thrusting. However, Button's hips could only do so much work. Fortunately, his mare had the perfect remedy.
"Waa!" cried Button as he felt his whole body move, but not of his own will. He was being levitated by Sweetie Belle's magic, and was forcibly tossed against the wall against which his bed rested, causing his fedora to slip off of his head. Propped up with his back against the wall, his dick wobbled with the force of her magic, but was stilled when Sweetie Belle trotted over briskly, her demeanor drastically changed, as she placed her hooves on either side of Button's head and lowered herself onto Button's cock slightly, such that only the tip was in her vagina. Her posture was upright, like Button's and she stared deep into Button's eyes and bumped her eyebrows up and down suggestively, to which Button couldn't help but chuckle a little at.
"Tactical... Insertion!" she cried as she lowered herself onto Button's stiff rod, her magic on overdrive as she forced her entire body to thrust up and down Button's 15 inches at the speed of a construction drill. The overdrive of nervous impulses that both ponies were feeling made their eyes roll in their sockets, and the sound of Sweetie's luscious plot slapping against Button's balls filled the room. That, and their moaning. It was heavenly for Button, whose dick thrusted into Sweetie Belle, 12 meaty inches at a time, and entered and exited at a pleasurable angle. Button could feel the abundance of juices coming out of Sweetie painting his fur, and even spraying out to his chest, but the lost look on her face and her messy hair indicated that she might have barely noticed her orgasms as Button pounded her vag. Then, Button felt a familiar rush of heat in his dick that indicated the something was about to 'cummeth'.
"Sweetie, I.."
"I know! Let's do it... together... Co-op..." said Sweetie Belle, who was in a daze as she forced her vag to mercilessly slide up and down Button, wanting Button's brew. The two lovers stared intently into each other's eyes, making the scene all the more intimate as Button's cock accelerated, going into hyperdrive as it entered 5bps (5 bucks per second) which would have made the softcore sex police fine him for breaking the buck speed limit. ***
Then, it came.
"BUCK!!" Both of them screamed in unison as Sweetie slid down the entirety of Button's shaft, bottoming out and releasing a torrent of femcum down onto Button's thighs and lower regions. Button's cock reciprocated in kind, sending bullets of hot jizz up into Sweetie's hangar, filling it up the the brim with shot after shot of semen. Sweetie Belle relished the feeling of the twitching cock in her love tunnel as it filled her walls with hot sticky liquid, which was threatening to leak out of its entrance. Button's head fell back as he emptied out his balls of semen, while Sweetie Belle fell onto Button's chest, to which Button wrapped a hoof around her back protectively while dragging a blanket with the other to cover the both of them, but only managed to cover their midsections, leaving their warm rumps exposed to the chilly air. They lay there for quite some time, Button's cock still hard and inside Sweetie Belle, with the only audible sound in the room the heavy breathing of the two lovers.
"That was... just... wow..." mumbled Button, smiling as Sweetie Belle pecked him on his nose lovingly.
"Wow... much..." murmured a sleepy Sweetie Belle.
"Much wow."
"Such wow."
"Many... many wow," chuckled Button, and the two ponies erupted into a soft, suppressed fit of laughter. They enjoyed the company of each other, feeling their bodies pressed against each other, wetness in the most vulgar of places and their hot breaths against each others faces. Button was still hard as a rock and ready to go.
"So... was I an MLG?" asked Sweetie Belle, to which Button nodded furiously. She ran a hoof through Button's mane, which was free from its fedora prison, and sang him a melodious lullaby as the two of them rested mellowly.
"Yeah, you pulled off that hashtag yolo swag, 420 no scope, really well," Button said, which Sweetie Belle didn't get.
"Let's go again!" said Sweetie Belle excitedly but before they could even start, they heard a voice coming from downstairs.
"Button! I'm home, sweetie!" came the familiar voice of Button's mom. The two ponies' eyes widened and Sweetie Belle immediately got off Button. There was one problem, however.
"How are we gonna clean this up?" said Button frantically as Sweetie Belle left a trail of Button's cum flowing out of her reddened vagina, which was like the semen version of Neighgara Falls. It was unbelievably hot, but it was the wrong thing happening at the wrong time. Sweetie Belle gulped, but it was too late; the door clicked open and swung out, revealing Button's mom in a beatnik getup, fresh from Manehattan.
"Hey Button how--" she started, but she stopped as she surveyed the scene before her: Sweetie Belle with a semenfall emerging out of her vag, and Button on his bed with his softening boner, and the trail of sperm between Button and Sweetie Belle. The room stank of seafood from the drying sperm.
"Mom, I can expla--" said Button, but was cut off by his mom, who cried loudly.
The two other ponies looked at each other in confusion, then rushed up to her to hold her in their forelegs. Sweetie Belle looked at Button uncertainly, who nodded.
"Sorry, Mrs. Mash, I didn't mean to, it was my fault... Really sorry," said Sweetie Belle, as she levitated a tissue box from beside Button's bed.
"No, I'-- I'm not mad, Sweetie Belle," Button's mom said finally after crying for a good minute, "It's tears of disappointment. I was really hoping I could catch the two of you in the midst of doing it instead of after."
Sweetie and Button face-hoofed.
"That's a lot of tissues," sniffed Button's mom. "Why didn't you use them to clean this mess?"
Author's Note
*dank is a slang for weed, which in turn is a slang for marijuana for you filthy casuals
**This paragraph which you just read (or didn't read because asterisks are much more attractive) was copied and pasted from my other story because kissing scenes are tedious to describe
*** I REGRET NOTHING
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"Wow," said Sweetie Belle as she ejected the DVD, "You're a cheeky little pervert aren't you? Making a sex tape and all."
"Heh, yeah," said Button, who was many years older and finally had a somewhat deep voice. "I had a camera in that room that was on the whole time. Err, don't ask me why."
"Why?" said Sweetie Belle, a smile on her face.
"Um..."
"Whhhhhhy?"
"Fine! I have this collection of DVDs of myself um..."
"Clopping to video game girls?" suggested Sweetie Belle.
"How'd you-- I mean, wha-- Just... ARH!!!" cried Button, to which Sweetie Belle laughed and patted him on his head.
"Your wife knows you much better than you think. Don't think I forgot that shrine you erected dedicated to that Black Clops game. I mean, seriously, that phase of yours was freaky," laughed Sweetie Belle. Button couldn't help but let out a chuckle as he saw the absurdity of that situation.
"Say, that video really made me worked up and hot... After Ellie's* birthday party, wanna go for a few rounds of raunchy, unbridled sex?" said Sweetie Belle, licking her chops at the prospect. Button smiled and pulled her in for a kiss.
"Alright, baby. This old colt's grown a few more inches since then, I'd reckon," he said, to which Sweetie Belle giggled.
"I'd know it when I feel it."
"MOM, DAD!!" came a voice from outside. Sweetie Belle turned off the DVD player and rushed out the door of the dark room they were in, with Button following closely behind.
"Cheese Sandwich is here!" Ellie cried excitedly. Button and Sweetie Belle galloped down the stairs into the living room and saw Ellie and her schoolhouse friends, all fillies and colts around the same age of 7. Ellie was a beautiful and lively little earth pony filly, with a coffee-brown coat and a vanilla colored mane with chocolate streaks. As soon as she saw her parents, she leaped up jovially and ran to hug them. Just then, a cacophonous flugelhorn sounded and all of the kids cheered.
"Hello one, hello all! The planner of parties, the maestro of mass dance, the don of disco is here! Give it up ONE! MORE! TIME! FOR! Rubber Chicken!!" cried Cheese Sandwich as he flung the door open, accompanied by streamers and balloons, with the sounding of a plethora of instruments ranging from party horns to crash cymbals. All of the children cheered as Cheese Sandwich entered the house (somehow) on a giant rubber chicken float with a rubber chicken in his mouth and a rubber chicken cannon following closely behind. The children cheered on while Button and Sweetie were lost for words.
"And whooooo's the lucky birthday girl?" asked Cheese Sandwich. Ellie immediately answered, galloping from her parent's side to Cheese Sandwich excitedly. Cheese Sandwich gave a hearty laugh and lifted her up onto his rubber chicken float, which had stopped and was parked in the middle of the living room.
"Now, first in our program of this birthday party," said Cheese Sandwich as he flipped open a scroll which was covered in burnt cheese, "Hey, don't mind the scroll. I mistook it for bread!"
Everypony laughed.
"Alright, it's aaaaaaaa BIRTHDAY SONG!" cried Cheese Sandwich, taking out an acoustic guitar. Every foal gave a round of applause by clopping their hooves against the floor, while Button and Sweetie watched on in amusement, with Sweetie Belle leaning on Button's shoulder affectionately as Cheese Sandwich started the chords.
It's your birthday today,
What does that mean I guess I'll try to explain,
That seven years ago on this day,
It was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face.
And one year before that magical day,
Your Dad probably took your Mom on a date,
And they were having a good time,
They were dancing and drinking wine.
Everypony was jiving along with the musical feel of Cheese Sandwich's guitar while Sweetie Belle was closing her eyes and letting the music flood her ears as she leaned on Button's warm body. Then the next verse came.
And when they got home they were horny as hell,
And your Dad threw your Mom down on the bed,
And he tore her panties off,
And his penis was hard as a rock.
And then your Mom really wanted to give your Dad head,
But your Dad also wanted to give your Mom head,
So they formed a sixty-nine,
And your Mom came at least three times.
And then your Dad was so excited to get inside your Mom,
That he forgot to put a condom on,
And when he realized his mistake,
He had ejaculated and it was too late.
And then your Mom got pregnant,
And your Dad started crying,
And one year later you were born.
And then five months later your parents got a divorce.
Everypony except for a shocked couple (Button and Sweetie) cheered, though there were some questions that were being thrown around.
"What's a condom?"
"You mom must really love your dad if she wanted to give him her head!"
"I know right!" cried Ellie, who seemed genuinely touched by the song.
"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" cried the kids, to which Cheese Sandwich looked like he was going to happily comply. Thankfully, he was stopped just in time.
"NO!" said an embarrassed Sweetie Belle. Everypony looked at her.
"I mean, carry on with the next program. Day's getting shorter, you know?" she said hurriedly. Cheese Sandwich laughed and proceeded on with his program, while Button kissed his wife on the cheek lovingly. She smiled and returned it with a nuzzle.
"I, for one, think that his song was a masterpiece," said Button, to which Sweetie Belle promptly slapped his face with her hoof. Feeling like a child, he laughed hysterically as Sweetie Belle chased him around the house, taking the two ponies back to their days as lively children, far away from the stresses of adulthood.
THE END
Author's Note
*Yes, they named their kid after one of the two main protagonists of The Last of Us
For those people wondering why the duration numbers are wacky it's because an average mare's gestation period is about a year (or so I found out on this website I found with google)
Hope you enjoyed this fic! Took me forever to finish :P
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