"Wow," said Sweetie Belle as she ejected the DVD, "You're a cheeky little pervert aren't you? Making a sex tape and all."

"Heh, yeah," said Button, who was many years older and finally had a somewhat deep voice. "I had a camera in that room that was on the whole time. Err, don't ask me why."

"Why?" said Sweetie Belle, a smile on her face.

"Um..."

"Whhhhhhy?"

"Fine! I have this collection of DVDs of myself um..."

"Clopping to video game girls?" suggested Sweetie Belle.

"How'd you-- I mean, wha-- Just... ARH!!!" cried Button, to which Sweetie Belle laughed and patted him on his head.

"Your wife knows you much better than you think. Don't think I forgot that shrine you erected dedicated to that Black Clops game. I mean, seriously, that phase of yours was freaky," laughed Sweetie Belle. Button couldn't help but let out a chuckle as he saw the absurdity of that situation.

"Say, that video really made me worked up and hot... After Ellie's* birthday party, wanna go for a few rounds of raunchy, unbridled sex?" said Sweetie Belle, licking her chops at the prospect. Button smiled and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Alright, baby. This old colt's grown a few more inches since then, I'd reckon," he said, to which Sweetie Belle giggled.

"I'd know it when I feel it."

"MOM, DAD!!" came a voice from outside. Sweetie Belle turned off the DVD player and rushed out the door of the dark room they were in, with Button following closely behind.

"Cheese Sandwich is here!" Ellie cried excitedly. Button and Sweetie Belle galloped down the stairs into the living room and saw Ellie and her schoolhouse friends, all fillies and colts around the same age of 7. Ellie was a beautiful and lively little earth pony filly, with a coffee-brown coat and a vanilla colored mane with chocolate streaks. As soon as she saw her parents, she leaped up jovially and ran to hug them. Just then, a cacophonous flugelhorn sounded and all of the kids cheered.

"Hello one, hello all! The planner of parties, the maestro of mass dance, the don of disco is here! Give it up ONE! MORE! TIME! FOR! Rubber Chicken!!" cried Cheese Sandwich as he flung the door open, accompanied by streamers and balloons, with the sounding of a plethora of instruments ranging from party horns to crash cymbals. All of the children cheered as Cheese Sandwich entered the house (somehow) on a giant rubber chicken float with a rubber chicken in his mouth and a rubber chicken cannon following closely behind. The children cheered on while Button and Sweetie were lost for words.

"And whooooo's the lucky birthday girl?" asked Cheese Sandwich. Ellie immediately answered, galloping from her parent's side to Cheese Sandwich excitedly. Cheese Sandwich gave a hearty laugh and lifted her up onto his rubber chicken float, which had stopped and was parked in the middle of the living room.

"Now, first in our program of this birthday party," said Cheese Sandwich as he flipped open a scroll which was covered in burnt cheese, "Hey, don't mind the scroll. I mistook it for bread!"

Everypony laughed.

"Alright, it's aaaaaaaa BIRTHDAY SONG!" cried Cheese Sandwich, taking out an acoustic guitar. Every foal gave a round of applause by clopping their hooves against the floor, while Button and Sweetie watched on in amusement, with Sweetie Belle leaning on Button's shoulder affectionately as Cheese Sandwich started the chords.

It's your birthday today,
What does that mean I guess I'll try to explain,
That seven years ago on this day,
It was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face.

And one year before that magical day,
Your Dad probably took your Mom on a date,
And they were having a good time,
They were dancing and drinking wine.

Everypony was jiving along with the musical feel of Cheese Sandwich's guitar while Sweetie Belle was closing her eyes and letting the music flood her ears as she leaned on Button's warm body. Then the next verse came.

And when they got home they were horny as hell,
And your Dad threw your Mom down on the bed,
And he tore her panties off,
And his penis was hard as a rock.

And then your Mom really wanted to give your Dad head,
But your Dad also wanted to give your Mom head,
So they formed a sixty-nine,
And your Mom came at least three times.

And then your Dad was so excited to get inside your Mom,
That he forgot to put a condom on,
And when he realized his mistake,
He had ejaculated and it was too late.

And then your Mom got pregnant,
And your Dad started crying,
And one year later you were born.
And then five months later your parents got a divorce.

Everypony except for a shocked couple (Button and Sweetie) cheered, though there were some questions that were being thrown around.

"What's a condom?"

"You mom must really love your dad if she wanted to give him her head!"

"I know right!" cried Ellie, who seemed genuinely touched by the song.

"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" cried the kids, to which Cheese Sandwich looked like he was going to happily comply. Thankfully, he was stopped just in time.

"NO!" said an embarrassed Sweetie Belle. Everypony looked at her.

"I mean, carry on with the next program. Day's getting shorter, you know?" she said hurriedly. Cheese Sandwich laughed and proceeded on with his program, while Button kissed his wife on the cheek lovingly. She smiled and returned it with a nuzzle.

"I, for one, think that his song was a masterpiece," said Button, to which Sweetie Belle promptly slapped his face with her hoof. Feeling like a child, he laughed hysterically as Sweetie Belle chased him around the house, taking the two ponies back to their days as lively children, far away from the stresses of adulthood.

THE END

Author's Note

*Yes, they named their kid after one of the two main protagonists of The Last of Us

For those people wondering why the duration numbers are wacky it's because an average mare's gestation period is about a year (or so I found out on this website I found with google)

Hope you enjoyed this fic! Took me forever to finish :P

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