The Harshest of Winters

by WolfBravery

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Dark
Length: 24905

A changeling is exiled from her home and must survive in the barren wasteland that is The North.

Love — it’s a something we all strive for. It’s the showing of affection to another, it creates bonds between beings. However—love can be misused and end up guiding people to their own demise. What would you do if you had to use the one you loved to survive?

In the far north, right outside the equestrian border, there lives a changeling hive inhabited by swarms of changelings. In a hive, all female changelings (except their chosen queen) are unwanted and frowned upon. They're either killed or thrown out of the hive, being forced to abandon their family and friends and inevitably dying by the harsh northern storms.

We follow one changeling in her banishment from the very place she was born, raised, and learned everything she knows; the only place she could ever call her home. How will she survive alone in the barren wasteland that is The North?

…Google Docs: bit.ly/THoWFiM

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-08 17:54:35 UTC

Chapter 2: The Hope Well

_____________________________

“Before the rain stops we can hear a bird. Even under the heavy snow we can see snowdrops, and a newly formed snowflake is the beginning of a new life. Like a new page in a unwritten story, one can rewrite and start a new chapter in ones life.”

-Rose (a friend)

_____________________________

Arc 1: Chapter 2

The Hope Well

…..

I sat still.

Sitting there, I stared blankly at the gate.

It was hard to believe what just happened.

What I have feared the most happened just a moment ago.

I am separated from my home and I would never be able to return to it, not anymore at least. Now that our little game of hide n’ torture is over—they could have at least killed me.

"I'd rather be dead than where I am now..."

I took a glance around, everything was still the same as before when I would look outside.

However, even though I should havebe scared, for some reason, I was not. It must have been what my mother said as the gates closed. Those words empowered me with a desire, a drive for my will, it gave me the will to strive and survive in this empty world.

I sat on the cold surface that was snow-covered grounds, my hair hanged down in the way of my face. The winds blew in my face, pushing my mane in front of my eyes and obscuring my vision.

I could feel the chill in the air seeping into my wound, relieving the pain. I felt the burning sensation I had just moments ago cool down, helping me deal with the pain coming from the wound.

I took a deep breath and took a glance around.

“Where am I even supposed to go?”

I looked around, trying to find something, I could at least call a destination—but there was nothing as far as I could see, just mountains and more snow.

I sighed, looking at the ground.

“This is going to be tough…”

As the chilled winds of the north blew past me, I tried to pick myself up, struggling at first—but quickly swinging myself up.

I felt a spiking, throbbing pain from the wound in my left hind leg.

I recoiled a little, trying to readjust my balance so I would not put much pressure onto the wounded leg.

“My leg…” I groaned quietly.

I looked around, still failing to find something to use as a landmark to follow.

I sighed in frustration.

“I guess if I’m going anywhere, I should travel in a straight line. At least then I can come back here if I need to.”

“...”

How could I have thought that? How could I have been so naive as to think of something like that? There was nothing left for me here; I cannot just play into the thought of coming back for comfort, which is completely unrealistic.

There is nothing left for me, even with all my friends, including my mother; were easily outnumbered by the mass amount of drones inhabiting the hive. Besides, that place was more of a hell than a place to live. I wish my friends could come with me at least—but they themselves have dedicated themselves to their duties, even Zo.

"..."

Oh Zo... What will he think when he hears I have been exiled? He has been sticking by my side, keeping me safe just like my mother. He is practically my best friend; he will probably do something crazy like try and escape after me.

Sigh

"I hope he doesn't do that... Or any of them for that matter."

I started to trudge on in the opposite direction of the gate, there were no mountains—but there were some trees. Seemed promising at the time.

I pushed myself forward as the powerful winds blew against me.

......

It has been two hours since I have started walking and I have yet to find any sort of landmark or anything that looked even remotely safe. I have been hoping of finding something such as a "town" I have read of in my books.

I saw a ravine a while back; it was this huge scar in the earth that looked like it went down for a while. I threw a rock down it and did not hear a noise for ten seconds... I made sure to be careful; I did not want to fall down one of those...

Sigh

I started to think they do not exist, that the books written were lies. However, some of the books I have read were true, like when it talked about gravity, it pushes you to the ground—or how changelings have a natural hard shell that acts as armor.

Other than what my mother would teach me—I feel like something’s might be untrue, some of the things I have read in books. For example—one of the books stated there were many "villages" and "cities" inhabited by what the book called, "ponies". I have not seen even one of those things—so as far as I know, they are all lies.

"Or maybe those books are outdated..."

I have always had fantasies when I was younger about being one. I would be living in peace with my fellow pony friends and we would all love in equality. I would own a house in a town and my friends would stop by every now and then. It would be happy times...

"..."

Sigh

I stopped and shivered as another freezing waves of wind passed by, blowing my mane into my face. I tucked the strand of hair blowing back behind my ear and continued walking.

My body was getting colder as I travelled—but it was not supposed to do that. Our shells act as an insulator, keeping the heat inside of our bodies and protecting us from harsh weather conditions such as spikey hail or acidic rain, or so I have heard in the training room from the other lings...

I have long but stopped feeling the pain in my haunch—except it feels numb now, growing colder by the minute. It also does not help that there is a hole in my shell... At this rate, my legs will probably become frozen solid.

The gap in my shell had let in cold air, freezing my body from the waist-up. I could feel my legs developing frostbite from all of the chills spreading around my body. Without my shell completely covering me, it was practically useless.

I read somewhere that you can shed your outer shell, but it takes a very long time and the results are not really worth it; you become very fragile and sensitive to pain.

Not a very desirable thing if you would ask me, I do not want to be feeling this pain all the time, adding more would be overbearing.

Sigh

"I haven't looked up in a while..."

I lifted my head and saw a frozen pond in the distance.

"Maybe I can get some water..."

I walked more that day than I did ever have—and let us face it: I was not in the best shape of my life. I was breathing heavily and a little dizzy from exhaustion. I could taste hot blood in the back of my throat.

I took a long look at the desolate icy landscape before me.

"Is there even anything out here for me?"

I forced myself to start walking towards the pond; I thought it would have been ridiculous to die from dehydration.

I contemplated what the point was of trying to survive now. All I knew was that there might have been something out there I’ve heard rumors and stories about, I had not a clue whether it was true or not. That did not help considering I had not found a single form of structure yet. For all I knew, those books were filled with lies.

The last two hours have been my legs freezing and fighting the strong wind currents. My will was slowly breaking, and what my mother told me slowly lost its strong meaning of wisdom behind it.

I was losing hope.

At this rate, I felt it was impossible to escape the inevita-

CRACK

"..."

"What was tha-"

CRACK

I stopped moving as I heard the ground beneath me make loud, foreign noises, I knew that something bad was going to happen—but I didn't know what.

I started backing up slowly as I realized I was literally treading on thin ice when I brushed away the snow covering the ice.

I accidentally put pressure on my bad leg and recoiled in pain, losing my balance. I fell hard onto the ice, hearing a thundering combo of cracks as I did.

The ground began to fall apart, collapsing into the earth, eventually dropping me with it.

I tried to jump as far as I could as the piece of ground I stood on fell and I managed to glide around 20ft, grabbing the edge of what looked like a massive abyss.

I could not see a bottom at all, nothing but darkness filled the massive pit that just appeared. I knew I would never see the light of day again or even die if I fell down into it.

I held on for dear life as the ground I held onto began cracking under my weight. I tried to shift around to pull myself up, but my grip was too loose and I ended putting more weight on the edge.

Crack

The edge of the cliff I was hanging on started to crumble at my hooves, causing me to lose my grip and fall.

I began to free fall, my body frozen from shock. I saw everything around me become darker and darker as I descended into the abyss, the hellish darkness surrounding me from all angles.

I hit the ground, hard, sort of cushioned by the thick layer of hard-packed snow—but it was still enough to leave my entire body sore, too sore to move.

After I came to my senses, shocked at what had just happened, I began groaning in pain.

I tried to move—but my body was completely unresponsive. I decided to just lay back and not waste my energy.

I took in my surroundings; the area where I sat was surrounded by moonlight, probably coming from the hole I came from. Everything else was pitch black, I could not see a single thing.

I looked up to the sky above me where the floor had collapsed. It was the middle of the night.

I quickly remembered a time in the hive where my mother took me to a room with a glass window. I could view the outside world from there. Although we rarely went, she would teach me all about the different times of days. Sometimes I snuggle up to her and fall asleep.

A warm feeling traveled through my body, it was relaxing and helped me calm my nerves.

I took another look around. I was alone.

"..."

There was not a place for me; the world was just cruel like that.

I felt drowsy and lethargic as I lied in the snow; it felt impossible to move.

I realized I was suffering from extreme frostbite. My entire lower body had frozen over and none of my limbs would move when I wanted them to.

I laid back and looked up to the sky.

I remembered there were stars in the night sky that were beautiful spectacle of light that graced the sky with their beauty. Yet, I could only see one. It was shining—but not a lot; it looked like it was slowly fading into the dark abyss that was the night sky, it is life coming to an end.

A flash of white blinded me and I was taken back to a time that felt...oddly familiar...

I saw the inside of a house. I was sitting on a comfy rug spread out across the floor, there was a fireplace burning logs which filled the house with warmth, and my mother was there sitting next to me.

This must have been a time when I was younger—because I looked like a small foal. I also did not know where this place was, I have never seen a house that looked like this—but yet, it felt strangely familiar.

I saw myself look up at her with a sad look on my face.

“M-Mommy?” I questioned sadly.

She was looking down at me with a smile on her face.

“Try again Camilla, you almost had it that time!” She praised warmly.

She was trying to get my to learn how to walk, I must have not known how to at the time—but oddly enough, I could not remember this happening.

“But mommy I don’t wanna to try again! It’s too hard!” I whined playfully..

“You’ll never get to learn to walk thinking like that young missy.”

We both giggled.

I saw myself start to shift my body weight around, trying to stand up—but my knees were shakey and looked like I was going to fall. I closed my eyes thinking that I was going to fall.

“…”

I peeked open my eyes and saw my mother pressing her hoof to my shoulder, warmly smiling at me.

“Camilla, I believe in you. I know you can do it.”

I looked at her with awe in my eyes.

I struggled and lost balance a couple times—but managed to balance on all four hooves, standing perfectly still.

Light filled my face as I looked down and saw that I was successful.

“Yay!” I exclaimed with joy.

I threw myself at my mother and she pulled me into a warm snuggly hug, we sat by the fireplace, looking into it. She told me how proud she was that I was able to do it and how she was going to teach me to walk next.

“I’ll always be here for you, Camilla.” She whispered into my ear.

“I love you mommy…” I spoke softly, yawning while lying in her arms.

She smiled at me, and started stroking my mane.

“I love you too.”

After witnessing that, I began noticing that I was in a dream.

I looked around, noticing how everything was foreign to me, I did not know what this place was.

I began developing a splitting headache that gave me throbs of pain.

I looked over and still saw my mother and me, we were changelings like normal but… the area around us began dissolving into static.

I closed my eyes as my head reeled in pain again from the headache. I could not understand what was going on, or where I was, I had no recollection of this happening at all—except it felt familiar, like it actually had happened.

Static began filling my ears and the sound of the room began dissipating, being replaced with static. I could hear my mother whisper something in my ear—but it was inaudible.

I heard someone, a guy say: “Hunny, where’s Camilla?”

“She’s with me dear.” She raised her soft voice to respond.

I looked back up at my mother.

Her black shell was melting, underneath it was skin… Tan skin…

At this point, the static had filled the entire room and my ears felt like it was being pierced from the sounds.

I put my hoof to my nose and checked it.

My nose was bleeding.

My vision became blurry.

I looked up at my mother—but I could barely see anything. However, she looked… Different. She looked like another creature, something that was not a changeling.

I started to become nausea, the world around began spinning, and I ended up on the floor, staring into the endless static.

I felt like I was slowly becoming tired.

I could feel my cold body become warm…

I heard my heartbeat growing slow...

Everything was stopping, shutting down. It was hard to resist the urge to fall asleep one last time.

I began slowly closing my eyes, giving into my tired temptations.

And then my heartbeat stopped.

......

I opened my eyes,

I was floating—but there was nothing except dark space surrounded me.

It was as if the static had died and disappeared, I was floating in a pit of darkness, an infinite sea of shadows...

“Was this death?” I asked myself, deciding to test my senses one by one carefully.

I could not feel anything; I tried to move around but my body was frozen.

I could not see anything; all I could see was a pitch-black darkness surrounding me for what seemed like miles.

I could not hear anything; I could not even notice the littlest tone, there was not a single bit of noise in this vast void.

I could not taste anything; my tongue felt numb, and there was nothing for me to taste either, I would probably taste the cold if I were able to.

I could not smell anything; the void did not have any kind of scen-.. Wait…

I tried to focus on my sense of smell, and I could smell…

Sniff

“Flowers..?”

I tried to look around but all I could see was darkness. I had no idea where this smell was coming from. I tried to find its source but all of my senses were impaired to the point where they might as well not have been there.

Then I noticed something else: I was neither cold nor warm.

It was as if in death, you do not feel anything. It even rather felt… Good. Not feeling anything seemed like a pleasure, never having to worry about how I felt.

I never knew death could be so…peaceful. I could float around for an eternity and be secluded inside of my thoughts. I could just rest for centuries and not be bothered by anyone.

I started to feel hollow, losing a connection to my body.

Maybe, just maybe, I could be at peace. I did not like the feeling of the outside world, it was too rough, and it was too dangerous. I never took for granted the comfort I had when I was a child. Being able to snuggle up with my mother became a dream when I grew older.

I let myself drift off into space, my mind too.

Of course, maybe I am alone here, but that is cool too. At least then, for better or worse, no one could bother me. I am free here, free from all the pain the other world has caused me.

I thought about all the benefits to being dead.

It felt like my body was asleep, but my mind was awake.

I could stay here, forever.

“...”

Then I suddenly felt a bumpand the smell of flowers hit me, it was an intoxicating smell and it made me feel alive.

The smell was overcoming and I slowly felt my senses restoring.

A sudden chill overcame me and I wrapped myself into a ball—but it was no use, the cold would leave. My stomach however, felt warm, like I was laying on something soft.

I felt my senses return to me and I was able to move.

I wrapped myself tightly around the softness warming my belly.

For a short moment I felt something touching my face, it was as if I was being kissed on the cheek.

All of a sudden, I began regaining my consciousness and energy, I felt the elevating feeling of awakening.

A light had appeared above me.

“An exit from this void?”

I could see it. It was my way out. In a way, I wanted to reach out for it and leave—but something made me want to stay…

I wanted to reach out for it, but a contradicting thought kept me from doing so.

I wanted to stay. I did not want to leave.

I felt safe here; there was no one to worry about confronting or deal with.

I was truly safe here.

My body began to shiver.

“Wh-What’s going o-”

“Live on...” A voice said.

“Who’s th-”

“Live on...”

“Mom?”

“...”

“Go.”

A sudden rush of energy coursed through my body as my contradictory thoughts of staying diminished.

I only had one thought: “I have to escape.”

I slowly struggled to ascend out of the darkness of the void and towards the light above me. It looked like it was far away.

I tried my best to stare into it and see how far it was.

“Have I fallen too far?”

I suddenly felt a lot of pressure forced onto my body and felt the void consuming me. It felt like it I was erased from existence entirely.

I gasped in shock as I looked down and saw my legs slowly fading away.

Looking up at the light, I ascended with all of what strength I had left.

I climbed and climbed, as the feeling of my body, vanishing got closer and closer.

“I don’t want to die… Not like this...” I said with a trembling voice.

I could feel my hooves become numb as they vanished entirely.

Pressure began building on my eyes as I ascended as fast as I could go.

I felt like my body was being crushed and I started slowing down.

“...No...” I gritted my teeth.

I was close to the end.

I suddenly became really dizzy and it became hard to concentrate on what I was trying to do.

Nevertheless, I kept pushing.

I flew up until I could not go anymore.

I used every last muscle I had left, making one final push.

~~~~~

    [\

I missed the celestial gate of light by mere inches and began falling.

I started to lose consciousness as I free fell back into void.

I descended quickly back into the darkness from which I came.

I fell…

And I fell…

And fell…

Snap

“NO!”

I felt anger begin to engulf me.

I felt the feeling of pure hatred overcome me.

I felt as if I was losing control over myself entirely.

My body began to rematerialize slowly as I started climbing back up.

My fangs became larger and sharper, my eyes losing their gentle hue.

I was regressing into true changeling...

“YOU THINK YOU COULD KILL ME THAT EASILY?” I screeched psychotically.

I could feel a strangling hold overtake my psyche and I quickly lost control of myself. It forced me to speak even when I could not find strength to do so. Something was controlling me—but I did not know what it was, I tried to resist it as much as I could.

An aura surrounded my body; it was like a barrier of white fire. It lit up the void and protected me from its harm.

My body continued to rematerialize as it ascended with great speed towards light.

“I’M NOT GOING TO DIE LIKE THIS!”

I could hear the pure anger and pain in its voice as it spoke. It sounded like a demonic and twisted version of my voice.

The feeling of it controlling my body was agonizing, and every time it spoke, it felt like lava poured on my head.

I struggled to take control over myself—but it was no use, I was too weak to fight its strangling, overpowering hold.

It was in control.

We came closer and closer to the light, ascending at great speed.

I could hear its loud, raspy breathing as we flew towards the light.

My body, pushed to the absolute limit, began cracking under the undying pressure forced onto it.

It began laughing maniacally as it grew closer to the exit.

The light began blinding it as it made its way to the end.

Then everything went silent, its vision blinded by pure light as it crossed back through the gates of death...

…..

I opened my eyes and immediately began coughing up the blood that had been pooling in my mouth for what seemed like hours.

I had pretty intense nausea that lasted for about two minutes before it slowly began to die down; it felt like I had spinned in a circle nonstop for an hour.

After my senses slowly came to and my nausea died down, I realized I was on the back of something again.

I opened my eyes a little more and saw that I was laying on something with a softer shell than I had. It was moving in a steady rhythm despite the weight of me being carried over its back. It felt firm, steady, and faintly smelled of fresh flowers.

In my hazy confusion, I dizzily asked a question.

“Who…are you..?”

“...”

I did not receive an answer.

I took a quick glance around and we were still in the snow-filled wilderness when I passed out.

It was freezing, the wind was blowing hard against me—however my belly was warm from lying on the back of whoever this is.

It was comforting—but I did not know what was going on nor where I was in the slightest.

For all I knew, I could have been a long way from the hive… Turning around and walking straight probably will not get me there now…

As a gust of cold wind passed, brushing my mane aside. I looked up and tried asking again, this time trying to raise my voice a little louder.

“Who are you? What’s going on?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” A female voice replied.

I struggled to look up at her; my body ached with pain all over.

“Everything’s okay.” She cooed.

I found my guard lowering as she spoke to me with soft words.

“Just try to rest; I’m bringing you to safety.”

I could not understand what was going on—but I felt safe, safe enough to rest at least.

I was tired anyway; my entire body felt sore, and I felt exhausted.

I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the land as wind swooshed by, taking in the aroma of flowers from her pelt.

I ended up zoning out into deep thought, disconnecting myself from my senses out of exhaustion…

“What just happened? Was I dreaming?

Ugh... It didn’t feel like one, and my head is reeling.

Was I…on the verge of death?

Is that what death is like?

But if that was death…how am I still alive?

“...”

That...thingthat took over my body… It savedme.

Whatever that thing was, it couldn’t have been good, it made me lose control of myself; I could not think at all… Even my thoughts were being controlled…

Where did it even come from? I have never seen something like that before… I have never experience something like that before either…

All I know is one thing, that was notme.

“...”

I could just be over thinking it; maybe it was just a dream.

Yeah, but that was definitely a weird nightmare to have.

Hopefully I do not get another like that...

“...”

And just who is this ling? How did she find me and what does she want?

I guess she has good intentions, if she wanted to kill me, she would have done so already.

Even if I wanted to try I couldn’t just fight back, walking would be impossible let alone fighting. She could easily overpower me in the condition I am in…

She seems pretty trustworthy anyway… She does not have any reason to hurt me.

I guess the best I can do is stick with her, I am not trying to go anywhere in specific anyway. Anywhere is better than here.

Even so, a nap does sound good right about now…

I’m pretty exhausted...”

I let out a sigh, and relaxed my muscles a bit.

I heard her humming and used it as an aid to fall asleep.

She was good at humming...

…..

Twenty minutes have passed and she has long stopped humming.

I felt like my body was asleep, but my mind was awake.

I let out a yawn.

“Awake already?” She asked with a small laugh.

“Y-Yes…”

“We’re almost there; just over this ridge is our destination.”

“...W-Where are we going?”

“Somewhere safe.”

“...”

“Look, I’m on your side, I promise you that.”

“Who...are you?”

“Well…” She started with hesitation.

I finally had the strength to move.

I looked up at her, struggling to glance at her with a clear vision.

“It might not be safe for me to tell you right now…”

My vision finally cleared up and I could see her face perfectly.

She had light-red skin that was not a black shell, eyes that did not have a green glow to them like a changeling, and wore some sort of black mask that covered her nose and mouth.

“. . .”

“AH!” I screamed, worming around to get off her back.

“S-Stop!” She said in frustration as she tried to keep herself steady.

I fell to the ground, landing on my side.

I wheezed as a sudden jolt of pain shot through my body.

Looking back up, I saw her staring at me.

I started to crawl away from her.

“Hey, stop!” She exclaimed.

I swatted away her hoof as she tried reaching out for me.

“Get away from me!” I said in a shrieked in a fear-filled voice. “I’m not letting you kill me!”

I had a hard time trying to stand up—but I managed and got onto all fours. Every muscle in my body was aching sore.

I quickly glanced at her she was looking at the ground with sorrowful look on her face.

Gathering my strength, I turned around and started putting distance between her, walking away and me.

“I need to get out of her-”

Unexpectedly, my legs gave out below me.

I began falling to the ground and closed my eyes, bracing for what I knew would be a painful impact.

“...”

I opened my eyes and looked down, realizing I had landed on her.

She must have thrown herself at me to save me from the fall.

She was breathing heavily.

“T-Thank you…” I said, quickly sitting up and looking away nervously.

“Camilla…” She said as she exhaled, trying to catch her breath. “Why would I want to hurt you? I’m here to help!”

My eyes opened wide as she said my name.

“Y-You…know my name?” I looked at her questioningly.

“Yeah, I do, and I can tell you why.” She started, looking around with her ears perked up. ”—but right now all you need to know is that it’s my duty to protect you and bring you to safety.”

I looked towards the ground, regretting that I freaked out on her like that.

“And if we don’t hurry, your wound might become infected.”

I looked up at her; she was staring in my general direction—but not exactly at me, she was a little bit off, as if she was looking at my ear.

She had faded white eyes and a short, black mane that had a ponytail tied in the back. Her hair was a little messy too, as if she did not care about her appearance. She also seemed to be older than I was—but younger than my mother was. She looked to be in her early 20s and definitely seemed to be physically fit.

“She did carry me on her back…”

I gazed at her a little closer.

“Is she…blind?”

“I promise you I’ll explain everything when we get there.” She said with an upbeat attitude. “So please, let’s go.”

She stood up and held out her hoof as if she was offering it—except yet again, she was not facing my direction, and she was barely making eye contact and held her hoof out to my left.

“She has to be…”

I grabbed her hoof regardless and she helped me get up.

“Do you need me to carry you?”

“N-No thank you… I think I can make from here.”

I lied, my legs were sore and putting weight on them was not helping. I only said I was okay because I did not want to inconvenience her any more than I already have. I also felt bad about how I reacted to her, considering how friendly she is being.

She smirked at me.

“Alright, let’s get a move on.”

She closed her eyes and her body became still.

Her ears perked up a little, I could see them twitch.

“This way.” She stated, beginning to walk in the direction we were originally heading.

I looked at her in awe for a moment.

“Am I really going to follow someone who’s blind?”

I took a look around and could barely see anything beyond the fog and blowing snow.

Sigh

“What other option do I have?”

I began following her, starting slowly—but soon picking up my pace and walking along side of her.

I scanned her up and down observing her more closely.

She had a neutral expression on her face as we traveled—although I cannot blame her, it was stormy out here and this is not exactly a place you want to be.

He legs looked soft, not similar to the hard shell we changelings have. She also did not have holes in her legs like a changeling.

She was also wearing cloths. I am guessing she does not have a shell like us that keeps the cold out.

“W-Wait…” I thought.

I remember seeing something like this before…

I tried to remember what it was…

“Are you…” I started slowly and unsure.

She turned her head towards me slightly.

“Hmm?” She hummed with question.

“Are you a...pony?”

“...”

“Yes, I thought you knew that.”

My stomach dropped as she affirmed what I said, I was in the presence of something I have only read in fairy tales. The thing I have been dreaming about ever since I was little.

“Y-You do exist…”

“Well, I’m here aren't I?”

The feeling of excitement had overtaken me, as I looked at her in absolute awe. To me, she was a legend.

“W-Wha…” I stumbled to try to put together words. “Are there more of you?”

“Yeah, there are many cities filled with hundreds of ponies, that aren't unusual.”

I stopped for a moment, gawking at her at the sound of that.

“T-They do exist…”

I let my imagination run free as I thought of all the stories and fantasies I have had when I was younger.

I shook my head and realized she had gotten quite a bit ahead of me, so to catch up with her I had to walk on my bad leg. Luckily, the wound had become numb from the cold and did not hurt so much.

When I caught up, I slowed my pace and stopped using my bad leg.

We walked for a while in what felt to me was awkward silence, so I decided to break it by asking a question.

“So wait, you are telling me, there are hundreds of ponies in this world.”

“Millions.” She replied. “How do you not know about this?”

“...Well…” I said slowly.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter.” She said with a smirk.

I gave a smile in return—however, i know she cannot see.

“...”

“So… Are all ponies like… Well… You?”

“You mean blind? Oh, most of them aren't.” She said with a confident attitude.

“Oh.”

“...”

“Do you mind me asking when you… You know...”

“I was born without the gift of sight.”

“O-Oh… I’m sorry to hear that…” I said with sympathy.

“There’s no need to be, it doesn’t bother me much.” She stated with a reassuring voice. “I easily make do without anyway.”

I gaped at her in awe, amazed that her blindness does not affect her, amazed she had such a strong will.

“That’s... Amazing...” I murmured.

The sound of my voice was muffled out by the never-ending gales of wind that blew past us. Even I could barely hear myself, if at all.

She stopped all of a sudden, standing still with her head tilted down a little. After a few seconds, she gazed back me with a warming smile on her face, it seemed like she was blushing.

“Thanks.”

......

I hung my head in exhaustion as the wind continued pushing against me.

At this point, we have been walking for about fifteen minutes. I was literally running on fumes and my legs being half frozen was not helping, I just tried to keep up with her.

I tried my best to keep this pony in my sights, I do not want her to pull any kind of trick on me and end up dead.

"Even if she did do something, I couldn't just run, I'm barely standing as it is..."

I sighed, looking at the ground.

“What am I saying? I can trust her, she’s already proven herself…”

I noticed that her stature has not changed in the slightest. She kept on steady, the same as when she was carrying me. I was surprised at how she didn’t look even a little bit tired.

I tried to think about how she was able to do that, I barely had any endurance compared to her. She must have spent a lot of time training her body or something.

"And how does she know my name?"

Did she know my mother? But she is a pony and my mother is a changeling, there was no possible way that could have met. My mother told me she is only been outside the hive once or twice.

I took a closer look at the mask covering her face from her nose to her neck, it had a symbol on it that I recognized from somewhere. I think it symbolized balance or something.

She suddenly stopped, grabbing at her chest and squeezing her eyes shut. She wheezed in pain as she kneeled onto the ground.

"Are you okay?!" I said in shock, I quickly ran to her side and caught her as she almost fell over.

She was breathing heavily and her face was reddish.

"I am fine..." She panted. " The cave is right around the corner."

I could tell she was pushing herself, literally running on fumes like me. It must have taken a lot out of her while she carried me over her back for so long. I started feeling awful and hung my head, trying to catch my breath with her.

She tried to stand up but ended up wheezing in pain and falling, I caught her again. She might have been strong—but everyone has his or her limits.

I looked at her and she sort of looked at me. She was breathing harder than I was at this point.

I looked up to the sky and saw all the snow rushing past and the clouds slowly moving.

"She helped me get this far, it would be rude to not help."

I let out a final sigh and gathered the last of my energy reserves.

Slowly, I helped pick her up, putting her arm around my neck allowing her to shift some weight onto me to keep her balance.

I slowly started to walk forward, slowly picking up the pace and moving at a walking speed. I fought my way against the wind to push us forward. She was trying to put some effort into helping, but it was in vain.

I pushed myself to move forward, even putting some pressure on my wounded leg in order to move forward. The pain was terrible—but I pressed forward regardless, failure was not an option at this point, if we stayed outside, we could have died.

We managed to push all the way to the cave, it had a massive opening and looked to go pretty deep, it was nice and roomy on the inside, and I think I could see some kind of pool of water at the end of it.

It was a little dark, yes—but that did not affect me as we changelings had some kind of ocular ability that allowed us to amplify the brightness of the room. I did not think it had a name to it, none of the books I read said anything about it. All I knew is that it is something changelings had. I wondered if she had it—but I dismissed the question as there were more important things to do.

I pulled her along inside the cave and sat her down carefully alongside of the cave-wall.

"Thank you..." She sighed.

I did not know how to reply, so I just gave her a nod and sat myself down next to her.

I was exhausted, cold, frostbitten, wounded, tired, and dizzy at this point. I had no energy left, there was no possible way I could continue onward.

I scanned around the cave to see if anything else was in the cave with us.

There was nothing.

Sigh

I looked over at the pony sitting next me, she caught her breath and was relaxing.

"I never caught your name." I questioned quietly.

She opened her eyes and looked right into mine, she did not fail to look right at me this time—however she looked tense.

"R-rose Petal..." She said nervously, as if she was embarrassed with telling her name.

I looked in awe yet again, I had a tendency to be amazed when I learned anything about her or her kind.

"I like your name, it's beautiful." I said, giving her a compliment.

"I-I guess..." She said hesitantly, looking away and returned to resting.

I started looking around the cave some more.

I found comfort in this cave, it was smooth, big, and there was not anyone or anything trying to kill me. And the echoes from the winds outside created a beautiful white noise in the background that was calming.

Slowly losing consciousness, I rested my head on her arm without thinking—but when I went to move my head thinking she would be bothered, Rose began stroking the top of my head gently.

It was relaxing and it reaffirmed my trust in her. She even started humming a tune, it was calming and helped me let myself drift off. And eventually, I fell asleep with my body resting against her.

......

I woke up feeling warm.

I was cuddling close to Rose, I must have done it when I was sleeping.

I quickly got up, feeling embarrassed.

“Sorry…” I mumbled.

“Hmm?” She moaned tiredly.

She must have just woken up, she did not seem to notice we were sleeping so close together. I watched as she rubbed her eyes.

“What’s wrong Camilla?” She yawned.

“N-Nothing…” I spoke nervously, looking away from her.

“...Okay.” She said, getting up and stretching.

I looked around the cave and saw the pond of water again.

“Hmm…”

I slowly walked over to the water, examining it closely from an above angle.

For some reason, I could see the water shimmering, it was like it was calling me or something. Entrancing to say the least.

I tapped my hoof against the surface of the water and it made a droplet noise.

“Ooo…” I said in awe, amazed by the water.

“Oh good you found water, I’m thirsty!” Rose exclaimed, running past me and drooping her head into the water.

I could hear her swallowing it, she was being loud about it…

“Uh…” I started, staring at her questioningly. “Is that even safe to drink?”

She ignored me, continuing to drink it for a few seconds.

Finally she lifted her head and wiped off her mouth with her hoove.

“Yep.” She replied. “Try some!”

I looked at the water, it looked a little murky, a little too much for my tastes. I did not want to be poisoned anyway…

“Ehh… No thanks.”

“Hmm… Oh well.” She said, walking away a little bit and sitting down.

I saw the outside of the cave, and it was morning, we must have slept through the night.

I looked back down at the pond of water in front of me. It was still rippling after Rose had drunk from it. It honestly did not look very thirst quenching—but I guess if you are blind it does not matter how it looks…

After the rippling effects subsided I could see the shimmering of the water again, somehow, yet again calling for me. I did not know what it wanted, I just felt a strange attraction to the water.

I moved closer, right next to the edge of the water and I looked into it, peering into what was inside. All I could see was my reflection, and the shimmering. I could not even tell where it was coming from, there was not any light for it to happen.

I looked at my reflection, I was still the same as ever. Except… I looked pretty badly beat up. I had a few cuts on my cheek, a lot of bruises on my arms, and I looked awful.

My mane looked tattered and ungroomed, this was definitely not presentable and my mother would easily disapprove of me looking like this if she saw me. She would either take me to a mirror and fix it or tell me to go do it myself if she was busy with something.

I tried to brush it down a little bit, but that did not really help. It was all frizzy and frozen; I could not do much for it.

I looked closer and stared more intensely into my reflection.

Suddenly, the rippling subsided.

I could see myself perfectly. It was like looking into a mirror.

I continued staring and things only became stranger as my vision began to deform and everything became hazy.

I started hallucinating and I thought for a second I was back at the hive, looking into my own mirror.

My legs suddenly became weak and I sat down.

My eyes were perfectly fixed on the reflection. It started to transform into something else, I could see the area around it changing, rippling as it did.

I could not look away, I was locked onto the reflection. It felt like I was dreaming or something.

And then everything went black.

I was looking at a pitch-black world.

I tried to look around but could not see anything.

My eyes finally adjusted and I could see I was being held over the back of someone.

“Where am I…?”

I looked around and saw that we were outside of a place unfamiliar to me. There were houses with straw roofs. The streets were made of dirt and stone. Lanterns lit up the roads, lighting up the night.

“We have to leave, it is too dangerous for us around here, and they are on the search for her.” A female voice spoke in a sad tone.

“...They?”

“I know that, Caramel, but where would you even go?” A male’s voice spoke in a soft, soothing voice.

“I… I don’t know…”

“There’s nowhere for you to go…”

“...”

“There is one place…” The female spoke up.

“Where?”

“I’ll go to a changeling hive and hide away there.”

“What?! Meli that is crazy! You can’t! They’re not like us!” The stallion spoke loudly in a to-the-point tone.

“I can find a way…”

“Agh! You never listen to me!” He sighed in frustration.

I started to recognize the voice of the female, it sounded… Sort of like my mother—but it was as if she was a younger.

“It’s the only way for our child to be safe Silver Bolt!” She retaliated in a distressed voice.

“M-mom..?” I tried to speak up, I found it hard to do for some reason, like I was infinitely tired or something.

I could not move in the slightest, I ended up looking at the ground the entire time.

“Don’t worry sweetie, everything’s okay. Just try to sleep, okay?” She whispered in a soft voice to me.

I involuntarily closed my eyes, as if I was being controlled—but I could still hear what they were saying.

My hearing started to become impaired and their voices became quieter and quieter.

“At least let me come with you Meli, so I can protect you...” He pleaded to her quietly.

“...”

“No. I will protect our child, for she is my prodigy. Camilla is going to do great things one day and I have to be the one to assure that.”

I started to hear static and I could hear static as I began feeling detached from what was happening.

“I love you Meli, be careful okay?”

“I love you too, Silver.” She said kissing him. “I will, I promise.”

My mother started walking and my hearing became filled with static.

And then my vision dissolved.

I snapped out of the trance I was in and felt like I was about to throw up—however I resisted the urge too.

I sat down and rubbed my head.

I took a quick glance around to see where I was.

I was still in the cave and Rose was looking outside the cave entrance.

I looked back at the pool of water I was looking at just before hallucinating.

“...”

I could see myself in it—but for some reason, I did not look like me… I had…skin...in my reflection instead of a hard black shell.

I did not look like a changeling in the water.

I looked like a…

“Pony…”

“Huh?” Rose questioned from the door. “Did you say something?”

I continued staring at my pony reflection, entranced by what I was looking at.

“Hmm, guess not. I’ll be back soon Camilla, I’m going to go scout.”

I stared at the pony in the pond.

I wanted to be that pony.

I would have given anything to be that pony.

I hated being a changeling.

I did not want to live like this the rest of my life.

I wanted to be a pony that would be loved and accepted by others.

I hated the chains that were bound to me unfairly.

My body began trembling and the feeling of anticipation crawled up my spine.

“Am I still hallucinating..?”

I looked around.

“I don’t feel like I am…”

I glared back down at the pony in the water, she was looking at me too.

The pain of looking into my own reflection was excruciating. Every second I was not this pony, the more envy grew and manifested into my body, making me act and think differently.

“P-Please…”

I raised my hoof.

“Please…”

I raised it even higher.

“PLEASE!”

I slammed my hoof into the water, it splashed at me.

The water rippled—but the pony was still there, staring at me, mockingly.

Something snapped and I began frantically splashing the water with both of my hooves, trying to erase the pony in the water.

After about a minute of splashing the water, I stopped, breathing heavily.

I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath.

I opened my eyes a little, looking down at the water.

"Please..." I said quietly, my voice was trembling in misery. "Please..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, a pressure was building heavy on my eyes.

"I've lost what little I had in this world, and now I'm all alone... Is there not somewhere I belong?”

I stared my reflection right in the eyes.

“W-Why…” I said stuttered. “Why is this world torturing me?"”

"..."

I gazed into the pond with my lost, ill-guided eyes. I looked deeply into it and remembered everything I used to have.

I closed my eyes, feeling all of those moment blow away into the wind.

And I lost what little faith I had left...

Drop

The pool before me started glowing with celestial light, nearly blinding me with its ambient beauty.

I stared at it as long as I could.

I started losing the connection to my body, it became unresponsive as the light had engulfed me in its cosmic decadence.

My skin felt hot, like it was burning—but the pain was nonexistent, it was almost soothing.

I felt a tingling sensation in my arms and looked down, my changeling  shell was peeling off, I could see and faintly feel my body searing from the immense heat the light surrounding me gave off.

I had the sensation my wings were being torn off—but the pain was nullified, I could barely feel it. It was almost like a tickle.

I barely understood what was happening. I could not move, I was blinded, and I felt warmth surround me.

It was... comforting…

I became tired, and started to slowly fall asleep, giving in to the light and allowing it to consume me.

Closer and closer I drew, the last thing I saw was Rose looking at me with a horrified expression on her face.

And then I fell asleep.

…..

I awoke in a tunnel of darkness.

It felt like I barely fit in the area I was in, it was tight, walls surrounding me, barely allowing me to move.

I remembered what this was.

I was in a dream that I have had for so many nights. It was one of my favorite dreams I have ever had.

Usually there is warmth emanating from the walls of the tunnel, they would it would feel warm and I would sprawl around and enjoy the dark solitary in peace.

Except… This time it was not like that at all.

It felt like the walls leaking some kind of corrosive neon-green acid.

I watched as it started dripping from the ceiling, hitting the ground and starting to burn it away.

I was not comfortable.

This place had become unsettling to me.

I did not want to be here anymore.

I looked, forgetting which way to go.

I saw a path that led upwards, probably to the surface of this dream.

In an effort, I crawled through the tunnel carefully, being sure not to get dripped on by the corrosive acid.

I realized my body felt weaker than usual—but I could not see anything.

It was like I did not have a shell to keep back the danger anymore. It made me feel insecure, I did not like it.

I reached path and looked upwards to it.

There was a light shining down the tunnel, flooding it with light.

It was my way of escaping, and I knew it.

I started to climb up the path, it was still a fairly tight space so I was crawling.

Suddenly, the tunnel began shaking and the path I started on was flooding with corrosive acid.

I began to panic and crawled as fast as I could towards the light.

“Camilla!” I heard a distant voice yell.

I continued my way trying to rush up the path.

Chips from the rocks above were falling out of place as the tunnel shaked.

“Where is this earthquake coming from?”

“Camilla wake up!” The voice yelled in the distance again.

I was almost there, I could see the exit clearly and perfectly.

I trudged forward. Rocks were falling and hitting my back as I did.

Unexpectedly, a drop of corrosive acid landed on my left hind leg.

The amount of pain it caused was unbearable, it felt like someone took a blazing hot piece of iron and stabbed me.

I tried my best to nullify the pain by not thinking about it.

Closer and closer I crawled towards the exit.

Closer…

And closer…

And then everything turned white.

…

I sat up in shock and immediately began coughing.

“Oh my goodness, Camilla, are you okay?” Rose said, attentively looking in my general area.

I breathed quickly for a little bit—but it soon subsided.

“Y-Yes… I just had a nightmare… That’s all.”

“What happened? Your heartbeat sound irregular compared to before.”

I could see her ears twitching.

“I don’t know…” I started slowly, putting my hoof to my head and trying to recall what happened. “I was just looking at the pond and something happened…”

My body felt as if I was submerged in boiling hot water and it was in the process of cooling off.

I looked at my arms to see what was wrong.

“...”

“My shell it’s gone!” I nearly screamed in terror. “And the holes in my arms are gone!”

I was panicking and I suddenly felt a soft, yet firm, arm wrap around me.

I looked up at Rose, she was smiling at me kindly.

“Camilla… You’re a pony now.”

My mouth gaped with those words.

I started to feel my face and my body, I could feel myself when I touched my skin unlike with a shell.

“Wha… How?” I questioned quietly.

Rose pointed towards the pond.

I turned around and looked into the pond.

My mane was still the same light orange as before—but except having a black shell to go with it, I had what looked like a yellowish light brown skin. It was amazingly softer than a shell and it did not exactly hurt when I touched it either.

But there was something different, all of the injuries and bruises I had previously were gone, I could not see or feel them at all.

I looked down at my leg to check my wound and saw that it was not there anymore.

However, there was something there, it was a scar.

“I guess not everything could be healed, but it doesn’t hurt at all.”

I stared long and hard at the scar on the reflection in the water. It reminded me of my past, the things I suffered when I was changeling.

At the time, I did not want to worry about it, so I tried my best to ignore it.

“How did this happen?” I questioned rose.

“The pond is a catalyst that, when the requirements are met, reverts a living being back to their original form.” She stated as if reciting something. “If a high-level polymorph has been cast upon them, it dispels it.”

I looked into the pond again and the most wonder-filled expression I have ever worn in my entire life.

“I’m… A pony…” I mumbled to myself with glee.

“...”

“Camilla, I know you’re excited and all, but we really need to get going.”

I looked up at Rose with a questioning look.

“We need to make it to town while it’s still day outside, the storms at night would kill us if we tried travelling then.”

I gave her a nod with a small noise to go with it.

I tried standing up—but my legs felt very weak and wobbly as I did. It was like I forgot how to walk entirely, the feeling was really strange.

I fell forward and Rose caught me.

“Be careful, I don’t know if you’ll be at full strength at first.” She said to caution me. “Let me carry you, we’ll be quicker that way.”

I thought about how Rose collapsed last night when we were approaching the cave. I did not want her to go through that again.

“But Rose, last night-”

“I’m fine now. I was just exhausted from looking around for you.”

I scanned her up and down. She seemed to be fine, she was not wearing a single expression that would give of a hint she was tired.

“Alright…” I started. “But-”

She put me over her back and began trotting out of the cave.

The light from the outside blinded me as we crossed the entrance of the cave.

…

“So where are we heading?” I asked Rose.

We had been walking for about 20 minute when I decided to talk to her. Up to this point I had just been sightseeing and thinking about just how amazing it is to be a pony, the things I have dreamed about coming true.

“To a city, I won’t leave you out here to die.”

I smiled at her.

“Thanks.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“...”

“Rose?”

“...”

“What?”

“Are we...friends?”

She suddenly stopped moving and stared into the space ahead of us for a few second.

“...”

She looked back at me, smiling warmly.

“Of course we are.”

I hugged her and she continued to trot forward.

…

As we arrived at the top of a hill, I could suddenly see giant walls, they looked like they were made of solid stone.

Rose’s ears started perking again.

“Camilla, do you see that?” She asked me.

“Yes.” I replied.

“That’s a city, it’s filled with ponies, just like you.”

I felt weird when she called me a pony, I am so used to being called a changeling that it felt funny to be called anything else.

“This place is safe, safer than out here.”

I gazed towards the city.

It was built on the side of a steep ridge, the city being built at the base of it.

The walls were protecting the inside of the city and stood high.

I was gazing in awe at this, it was just like the books described.

She gestured and I climbed off her back, it felt a lot easier to walk on my legs now—they still felt a little wobbly.

“The entrance is over…” She started, her ears started twitching. “There.”

She pointed towards what looked like a hole in the wall—but purposely carved out there.

“There will probably be guards—but they shouldn't give you any trouble. They only attack creatures that aren't ponies.”

Tingling fear crawled up my spine as I thought of that. They attack anything that was not a pony.

“What if they know I’m a changeling and attack me? Would they kill me?”

I started to tremble in fear.

Suddenly, I felt a strong hoof touch my shoulder.

I looked over and saw that it was Rose.

“Camilla, be strong, I’ve done all I can for you.”

“But can’t you come with me Rose?” I really wanted her to come with me.

“No, I’m not allowed in this city.”

“B-But…” I started. “Will we ever see each other again?”

“...”

“You’ll see me again, our paths will cross.” She said, smiling at me. She looked directly at me, her eyes were comforting and her words reassured me.

I smiled back at her, even if it was a fake smile. I was sad to see her leave after we had just met.

“Good luck.” She patted me on the back and walked off.

“Bye…” I mumbled.

I looked back at the gate, gulped, and began to walk towards the city.

…

I approached the gates slowly.

I saw two pony guards clad in armor looking forward.

I stopped myself around fifteen feet from them, I tried to conjure up the will to say anything—but I was too scared.

One of the guards looked at me and scanned me up and down.

“Proceed.” He said boldly.

I was frightened and recoiled, I laid down in the snow and covered my face to protect myself from harm.

I peeked up at the guard, he was looking around.

He rolled his eyes, starting to walk towards me.

“This is it, I’m going to be killed, and I can’t run now…”

He put his arm around me and picked me up, putting me on my feet.

He helped me walk towards the gate.

"Don't worry young lady, nothin' in the city is gonna hurt ya." He said with a smile. I looked at him blankly. His words were comforting, not threatening.

We crossed through the gate and he removed his arm from my shoulders, walking back to his post.

I looked at the city, it was huge; there were buildings everywhere and it was filled with many different types of ponies.

I was star struck by the sheer amount of ponies.

I donned a smile of confidence, thinking of all the things I dreamed of when I was young.

I remembered all the fantasies I had of a world filled with ponies, a world filled with harmony. Seeing what I’ve been dreaming of since I was young inspired me.

I held my ambitions close and began trotting into the city.

For the first time, adventuring bravely into the unknown.

_____________________________

Chapter 1: Exile to Solitary

Arc 1: Chapter 1

Exile to Solitary

        …

“Mommy?” A small voice questioned.

“…”

“Yes my child?” Said an older, hushed voice.

“When can I go play outside?”

“When you’re older my dear, it’s much too dangerous for a small foal.”

“But Mommy, I’m four now!” The small voice whined.

“And yet, still so small…” Said the older mare in a quiet voice, tightly cuddling the young filly.

The young one gave a small giggle.

“I love you mommy…” The small voice said in a tired voice, resting in her mother’s arms.

The mare looked down upon here child with a smile.

"..."

“I love you too, Camilla.”

…

        …And then I woke up…

The Harshest of Winters

By: WolfBravery

......

I woke up.

I kept my eyes closed.

I did not want to open my eyes, for I was just at the safest place I knew, a happy place of sorts. I have had this dream once every week or so, it is and will always be my favorite of them all.

This dream brought me warmth and happiness when I felt sad; I would stay in that dream for as long as I could if I was given the chance.

I remember when I was just a young filly, my mother would hold me in her arms and tell me that as long as I kept my head up, I could achieve my dreams. She would play with me every day, telling me she would always be with me.

However—it has been a lot different as of late. I am a mare of seventeen now and as the years have gone by my mother has told me that I needed to become more independent. She has started becoming more and more detached, leaving for long periods to a place unknown. I have had nightmares about it ever since she has said that to me.

For the first time in my life, I experienced how it felt to be alone.

She has kept me in secrecy, told me that if I was found, "they" would take me away and I would never get to come back. I never understood who hated me so much, or why. All I knew is that with my mother—I would always be safe.

But then I grew curious...

When I was of the age of nine, I decided to sneak out of my room and wander the hive. I watched from the shadows as the other changelings would laugh and play together. Sometimes—they would be training for something. Running laps, doing hoove-ups, and learning how to fly. I never knew how to fly; I have tried for a long time and could never figure it out.

After months of being shy and observing them from afar, I confronted one of the younger changelings, about my age. He ran off screaming in a panic. I was almost caught by an older changeling—however, I was swift and nimble. I would always get back to my room without being seen. The adult changelings were on high guard for a while, but they eventually quit searching. My mother scolded me for the first time that day... I felt really awful about it, so I quit for a few months.

And then I grew curious again...

I brought myself to sneak out once more. Except this time, I met one that was not so jumpy; instead of being creeped out, he actually liked me for who I was. For the first time in my entire life, I made a friend, and I had play'd with another changeling my age. This had to have been the happiest day of my life. I eventually knew a lot of them and we would play around on occasion. I made so many friends that I wished they would always stay with me. I was also thankful that none of them told the adult changelings about me too.

My mother soon caught on to this and at first she was very adamant, scared this put me in danger—but soon after allowed me to continue playing with them with the promise that I’d stay out of trouble and be careful.

From then on, I’ve been happy and learned a lot from my friends I even got to see what was on the outside of the hive, we went to go peek through a hole in the wall. Something white and fluffy covered the ground for as far as the eyes could see, and there were these things called “trees” and “mountains” that the younger changelings spoke of.

The wall was patched, but it was awesome to see. I cherish all the memories I share with my mother and friends; I have had a lot of happy times with all of them

"..."

I opened my eyes slowly, looking at ceiling of my room. It was dark.

“Yeah, happy… I just wish I could see more…” Quietly I muttered.

“Life has to be more than just this, I just know it…”

I let out a sigh and rolled over on my side.

“I just want to rest, even if just for a little longer…” I thought, closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

......

I was awoken. I felt groggy as normal—except I could feel my body being shaken and heard the sound of metal clanging.

In a panic, I quickly opened my eyes, repelling backwards and focusing my eyes to see what was happening.

“Shh…” Hushed a voice.

I struggled to focus my eyes and saw nothing but a blur.

“It’s just me, sweetie. No need to be afraid.”

My eyes finally focused and I could see it was my mother sitting on the side of my bed.

Relieved, I caught my breath and started to relax; my heart was pounding. I slumped back down into my bed, letting out a sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” She said.

“I know…” I said sadly.

She nuzzled my face softly.

“You’ve been asleep longer than usual Camilla, is anything wrong?”

I stretched out my muscles, yawning.

“No, just felt like sleeping in today… That's all. Sorry.” I explained.

“There’s no need to apologize.” She said, smiling at me.

I gave a small smile; it was like returning one was second nature.

“You know, if you sleep all-day, you won’t have time to meet up with your friends.”

“Mmhmm” I replied with a small nod.

My mother stood up, walking away.

I glanced around my room. I did not really have much in my room, just a mirror, a stool, a bed, a lantern mounted to the wall, and a couple of toys I used to play with when I was younger. I do not know why I still hang onto that stuff.

“Come here, I’ll brush your mane for you.” My mother offered, standing next to the stool and mirror, patting the stool.

I got out of bed, yawning again and making my way over to her.

I sat down and she began brushing my mane.

I noticed that when she brushed my mane, she was doing so with confidence. It was a quality I wish I had. My mother has taught me a lot about life and the essentials of living. She has taught me everything from washing clothes, to cooking food, and cleaning up so I could take care of myself—although I did not like the thought of living alone, I have had nightmares about it.

“I’m almost done, just stay still a little longer.” She said.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I replied playfully, looking at her in the mirror.

She stopped for a moment, staring at my head. After a few seconds she smiled and continued to brush my mane.

“I’m glad to hear that.” She said, quietly. I could barely hear it, and would not have if I did not see her mouth moving.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a changeling, a little taller than the drones my age. It seems that girls tend to grow taller than the boys, because my mother and I seem to be taller than the others our ages. I have also seen our Queen in a book before. She was tall.

The only other difference that I noticed between the girls and boys is that the girls had a mane while the boys seemed to not. Even though I have not really thought about it recently, I really cherish my mane. It is a light orange color, a little wavy, and strands curving down my face in the way of one of my amber eyes. I have loved my mane and have always taken care of it. I especially love when my mom would show me how to style it; she told me that it was how I needed to brush it if I wanted to “dress up” for something formal.

I looked up at my mom in the mirror also, I looked like a spitting image of her—except for each strand, she has had a splash of white at the end. It was unique to her, and it definitely suited her well. I sometimes wondered why I did not have that even though my mother does—but it has not bothered me much.

She noticed me staring at her and exchanged with me a small smile.

“There, finished.”

“Thanks mom.” I said, happily.

“Anything for my precious girl. Also, your morning feast is already prepared downstairs.”

“Okay.” I said with a little laugh.

She gave me a warming hug and walked out of my room.

I sat there for a while, observing the masterpiece she is made of my mane. Yet again, she has ceased to amaze me with her abilities of style. She usually only brushes my mane and makes my breakfast when she has free time, usually when she does not have somewhere to be. This was what I would consider a special occasion.

I let out a sigh and stood up after I was done admiring my mother’s work, following her out of my room.

I walked over and sat down at the table placed near the center of the room.

“Camilla, I have to leave for work. I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

I looked up at her as she said that…

"..."

I must have sent the wrong message to her, because she looked back at me with worry, frowning.

“You know I won’t be long, just go play with your friends.”

I realized what was going on, it has happened many times in the past: I did not want her to leave and I knew it full-well. Only this time, I accidentally let her notice.

I looked back down at my meal, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

“…I know.” I tried to mumble in a neutral tone—but the words came out with a sad tremble.

I opened my eyes wide as I realized what I just said.

Suddenly, I was embraced into hug. My mother pulled me close to her; I could feel the warmth of her body.

“I love you, Camilla, and I’d never leave you, and you know that.” She said with a very comforting and reassuring voice.

She started stroking my mane.

"I have something very special planned tomorrow for you.”

My mouth began to shake involuntarily, and soon, my whole body. I felt as if I was supposed to release this tension built up inside me, but I just could not.

My mother hugged me even tighter, I could feel our energy connected, the warmth of her embrace was calming and I slowly stopped shaking. I hugged her back to show that I was okay.

After what felt like minutes, she let go of me, slowly releasing me from the warmth of her embrace. She looked at me with her "everything's okay" eyes and a small smile.

"Now, I must go to work. Promise me you’ll be careful, Camilla.”

“I will.” I obediently responded, forcing almost no emotion to show in my voice.

I tried my best to hold back my feelings. I did not want her to worry any more than she already has. I wanted to show her that I was independent. ...Even if it was not true.

My mother smiled at me, kissing my cheek tenderly, getting up and leaving soon after.

I stared into space for a few minutes, thinking about what just happened. I felt bad about it making her worry like that.

I returned to my bed and lied down.

I did not know what I was feeling, I felt like something was missing.

This has happened many times in the past; however, I never understood what it meant…

"..."

No, I did.

I felt alone.

“I won’t be able to stay with my mother forever and I know it.”

I curled into a ball and held myself tightly.

“What's happening with my life?”

......

I was sitting against the wall of training chamber. All of my friends and even a few new changelings I did not recognize we are here. They were probably new or just enrolled into the training program.

"I should be fine as long as I stick close with my friend. They should not give me trouble... "

The training chamber was a large room containing various hoops and hurdles, training dummies, and other tools used to help you train. I never bothered spending much time training, I would join my friends every once and a while—but for the most part I sat against the walls and watched.

I knew it was safe for me to be here; the adult changelings only come at certain times to train them.

I asked at one point in the past what they were doing, my friends told me that they were training to become drones for the Queen. Kind of like a group of bodyguards. I have thought about how much of an honor it would be to work for our Queen. I mean—she runs everything we do, calls shots. However, I later on dismissed that thought. I knew I would never get that opportunity when they do not like me in the first place.

I glanced up at my friends, they were practicing their changing magic, racing each other, and just generally talking. They looked like they were having fun, I wanted join them—but I was not really feeling the best today... I would be lying if I said I was.

I looked back down at the ground.

I wanted to day to be over already, I could return to that humble place in my dreams I think about so often. Even if it was not—I thought it was real enough.

“Camilla? Whatcha’ doing?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and back to reality, quickly looking up.

It was Zo; he was the first friend I have ever made. I gazed into his light red eyes.

He was a good listener; he has been talked to me for years now and we have been close friends ever since the day we first met. He has gotten me out of trouble multiple times. I cannot thank him enough for that.

“Why are ya just sittin’ here? Is somethin’ wrong?” He asked carefully, examining me.

I had to lie again. To let someling worry about me over something like this would be awful.

“Not really, just thinking about how I couldn’t jump through that 4 meter hoop the other day.” I said to him playfully, trying to be convincing.

“Hah! Don’t worry, you will get it eventually. Common, I’ll help you!” He said, grabbing my hoof and pulling me up. He dragged me over to the hoops that were set up.

There was a hoop for 1, 2, 4, and 7 meters. I have seen all the top changelings jump the 7-meter hoop, but I could never imagine me being able too, it looked high... And I did not have much of a spring in my step to be honest.

“Comere’!” Zo exclaimed, trotting over to the 4-meter hoop.

As I made my way to him, I was greeted by the others who were practicing. Most of them were exhausted so I chuckled at them.

Zo gestured me to get on the step and attempt the hoop, so I did, I got on it, readying my pouncing stance.

“Your stance is off.” Zo said being blatant.

“H-huh? What do you mean?”

“You have to have your front down and you back rose, like this.”

Zo put one hoof on my back in between my shoulders.

The other hoof touched just below my belly.

My face became red with embarrassment as he touched… Well… You can probably guess...

I bucked him straight in the face; he was knocked onto the floor, put a-daze.

He shook his head and quickly apologized. “Sorry! I forget you’re-a girl sometimes...” He offered me an awkward laugh; rubbing the spot, I knocked him in the head.

I looked at him with shock and embarrassment in my eyes. I wanted to apologize for kicking him, but I did not want to say it—the best I could do was convey it with my eyes.

Luckily, nobody was watching when it happened; all they saw was him lying on the floor.

Needlesstosay, this was a moment I hoped to soon forget.

…

“...Let’s try this again.” He said slowly, “Get into a stance like this.”

He proceeded to lower his front and raise his back.

His stance looked like that of a professional, like he had confidence when he did it. I remembered how my mother was confident with brushing mane; it was like that—except Zo was confident with athletics. I wondered again what it was like—but the best I could do was assume it is a good feeling.

I tried my best to mimic his form and I found I must have done it well, a few of my friends watching we are cheering me on.

I decided I was ready, ready to jump the 4-meter hoop.

I nodded to Zo and he nodded back.

I focused on the hoop intensely, thinking of how I will make it. I just have to put a lot of my energy into moving forward to clear the gap between the hoop and the step. I began to focus…

"One…”

I remembered everything that Zo told me.

“Two…”

I concentrated on the hoop.

“Three!”

I jumped, putting a lot of force into my legs, I could hear the sound of the step thumping as I exerted my buildup of energy into it.

I glided through the hoop, tapping the bottom of it with my back hoof on the way out. However, I landed perfectly. My friends cheered me on in the background.

Saying things like “Good job!” They said. “Awesome landing ‘Mella!”

I noticed Zo walking towards me, smiling. I returned his smile, and he gave me a pat on the back.

“Nice one Camilla. Coulda’ been better though.” He said teasingly.

I remembered the benefits of having friends, I felt like being a part of their group was quite an honor. I have also always felt more open than shy when I am around them. My friends always made me feel at home. I looked at Zo with a cheesy grin on my face, the look in his eyes said that he was proud of my accomplishment.

“You call that good?” A voice mocked. “Don’t make me laugh.”

I and Zo turned to the voice; it was Ed and his two “goons”.

They have always caused nothing but trouble in our hive; luckily, I have never had any encounters with them. Unfortunately—I was about to have one now.

“All you did was jump through the 4 meter hoop. I mean, that would be okay, if you were a foal.” His friends snickered. “And just what is a girl doing here anyway? They don’t let girls into the drone army.”

They were always so full of themselves; I could never imagine how anyling could possibly have that much blind confidence in them. It seems to take a negative effect on you when you have it; he clearly was not very nice.

I was not afraid of him; I was surrounded by those who accept me for who I am. Although—I felt awkward and did not know what to do. I just decided to look away, down at the floor. I felt uncomfortable nonetheless.

“Hey, pick on someling your own size.” Zo stepped in, putting a wall between me and Ed.

The expression on Zo’s face looked intense; I have never seen this side of him before. He looked as if he was ready to knock Ed out.

“What? You’re protecting this weakling girl Zo? I thought you were cool like us.” Ed said with an annoyed tone. “She can barely jump the 4 meter hoop!”

“What are ya implying?”

“She can’t even jump the 7 meter hoop like we can; the strong changelings should stick together. She’s a weak girl.”

“Our Queen’s a girl, are you callin’ her weak too?”

“Our Queen needs bodyguards doesn’t she? That means she’s weak.” Ed said mockful attitude. “All girls are weak; they have to rely on us to survive.”

“Who would wanna rely on a selfish ling like you?” Zo questioned sarcastically.

They continued for a little under a minute or two, trading insults and arguing.

I felt something that I have not felt before. I felt ashamed. I did not want other people to fight for me; I just wanted to be equal like every other ling. My friend is going out of his way to help me and I am not helping at all… I grew angry with myself as my heart stirred.

“Who would want to hang out with a weakling anyway? They’re unreliable! Literally useless!” Ed spewed spitefully.

“Just because someling’s weak doesn’t mean they’re unreli-”

“No.” I interrupted, loud so Ed could hear me.

Both looked at me.

“…You’re wrong, Ed.”

“Why don’t you prove it then? You weak fool.” Ed sneered at me.

Zo turned to me and asked quietly, “You don’t have to do this; he’s just egging you on.”

“I know.” I said quietly with vengeance.

Zo backed away a bit knowing I was serious.

“Right this way!” Said Ed playfully, walking towards the hoops.

I walked over to the 7-meter step.

“Usually, we all get one try in competitions like these—although you’re a girl, so you get three.” He said with excitement in his voice.

He was driving me over the edge, and I wanted to hit him, but something in the back of my head told me not to.

I let my anger speak for me.

“Why? It only takes one to prove you wrong.” I said mockingly.

He gave me an annoyed glare and said “Fine, your loss. I’m first.”

He got on the step for the 7-meter hoop and entered a pounce stance.

I could see every little flaw with his form and took note of a few things.

“Here we go…” He muttered, but I could hear him from being so close.

He released an extreme amount of force in his jump, the step made a hard knock that everyling could hear. I was impressed by the sheer power in his kick.

He glided towards the hoop, barely making it through. He hit his back leg off the bottom of it on the way out; it emitted a clang noise the rattled through the entire room.

His landing was perfect, however.

“Try and beat that, girl.” He said, confidently.

It gave me a twisted feeling in my stomach.

“I can’t back out now…”

I got onto the step. It felt very sturdy.

My mind had thoughts of doubt running through it.

“Wait… What will happen if I don’t make it? If I failed would my friends leave me?”

My thoughts were killing me; it was very difficult to dismiss them and became very hard to focus.

A nervous bead of sweat ran down my face in anticipation, my legs felt weak and shaky. I got into my pouncing stance, preparing for the inevitable.

Then a thought coursed through my mind, it was something my mother told me in the past.

She said she would always be by my side.

I could feel her presence, it felt like she was watching over me and I did not want to let her down; my doubt was replaced with confidence. I noticed my friends cheering me on and a sudden urge of strength course through my body.

I was ready.

I readjusted my stance based on the flaws in his, remembering everything that he did wrong. I kept in mind the things that Zo taught me about how to go high when you are jumping from a base. He told me to concentrate on the target, keep my body straight, and spread my wings I could soar.

I psyched myself up a bit to prepare myself more.

“One…”

I steadied my breathing, calmed myself down.

“Two…”

I visualized me jumping through the hoop.

“Three!”

 I exerted the buildup of energy into my legs slamming them into the board I was standing on. I felt the thundering roar of the sound I made when I launched myself into the air, it was an overwhelming and thrilling, it filled me with excitement.

I glided towards the hoop, keeping my wings spread. I started feeling like I wasn’t going to clear it as I approached it—but then I felt the presence of my mother one last time watching over me and I quickly straightened my pose. I passed through the center of the hoop, avoiding the ring instead of touching it.

The feeling of victory flowed through me as I cleared the hoop perfectly.

I landed on my forelegs, losing my balance a little but recovering quickly.

My friends and the new trainees soon crowded around me, cheering.

I could see Ed behind them with the most dead-anger expression I have ever seen in my entire life.

I noticed him saying something, glaring straight at me. His lips were moving but I could not hear him over the sound of my friends cheering.

He turned his back to me and left the training room swiftly, his two lackeys following him shortly after.

I discovered a new feeling, accomplishment. This feeling was amazing and filled me with a sense of passionate glee.

“Is this how it feels to be confident…?”

I could feel the acceptance of my mother and her being proud.

As the cheering died down, I suddenly felt a weird tingle. It was hard to describe—but it was like something was coming. I could feel other people slowly lurking closer to me. It was coming from the hallway outside of the training room.

“Oh no, adults! I need to hide!”

I pushed my way out of the crowd of my friends and jolted as fast as I could into the storage room at the end of the training room. It was after I made it and settled down that I notice Zo following me.

Shortly after he made it into the storage closet with me, the doors to the training room door slammed open, making a very unsettling noise that hurt my sensitive ears.

“What’s with all the noise in here?!” A deeper voice with anger too it questioned. “Why are you all yelling?!”

We could hear the clatter of the other changeling’s feet as they lined up in front of him.

I started to shiver a little bit. I was quieting myself, careful not to make a peep.

Our friends were very loyal; they made up a believable excuse. Something about combat training.

The adult changeling persisted questioning them however, not easily fooled.

I began trembling in the fear of being caught, the things I have imagined of what they would do to me when I was younger was not helping either. I knew I needed to stop, if I did not I would make some kind of noise and the adult changeling would hear it. It would be over for me, he would take me somewhere and I would never get to see my mother again.

I covered my ears with my hooves and squeezed my eyes shut, my breathing quickened from the true terror I was experiencing. I imagined never getting to see my mother again, never being able to tell her how I truly feel, never getting to feel her warm touch ever again. The thoughts coursing through my head were absolute agonizing.

With every loud step the adult changeling made, I became more and more prone to make a noise. I tried with all my effort—but the lurking feeling of despair was pushing me more and more over the edge. And before I knew it, it was too late.

“…”

I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was pulled into a hug by Zo. He put my head to his chest gently. It was strong, and comforting.

“Shh…” He said quietly, stroking my mane with his hoof gently. “Don’t wanna be caught, do you?”

I began blushing; thoughts were flooding my mind… But then I began to fill the warmth of his body. It was similar to how my mother felt.

How could this be? How could this feeling be resonating from someling other than my mother? I questioned this repeatedly in my head, but I could not think of a rational answer. All I knew was that I could feel his warmth, and it was soothing. It felt similar to the dream I had from time to time.

My shaking subsided, and I found myself wrapping my arms around him, trying to expel the negative thoughts festering themselves my mind, the ones that terrified me. And it worked. I could feel my mind draining of everything unpleasant, it was all being replaced with the warm fuzzy feeling that I found was comforting. I wanted to hang onto this feeling for as long as I could.

Nothing mattered anymore; when I was experiencing this feeling, time went by slowly. Whatever I was so worried about previously seemed to not bother me anymore, I felt as if the world around me froze. Lost in time, taken in by the sheer warmth and happiness I was experiencing.

What felt like hours had passed and the adult changeling were gone. I do not know what happened, all I know is that it was over now, and I had nothing to worry about anymore.

“T-Thank you…” I said quietly, a little embarrassed.

He just smiled kindly at me, helping me get up with him.

“Want me to walk ya back to ya room?” He spoke kindly.

I froze for a moment, trying to process what he had just asked.

“He… wants to stay with me?” I thought to myself slowly, it sounded nice. I really wanted to say yes.

“That’s okay, I can make it myself. Thank you though, really.” I said carefully, not wanted to offend him.

He just smiled at me, petting the top of my head.

I returned his smile gratefully.

“By the way, how did ya know a soldier was coming?”

I tried coming up with a rational answer.

“…I’m honestly not sure.”

......

As I was approaching the door to our home in the residential part of the hive, I started thinking about what Zo asked me just moments ago. It was not exactly something I hear people say every day. I do not know what it was about those words he said—but they had a different feeling to them than I have ever experienced before. This was quite unknown to me. Just what were his intentions? I mean, they certainly were not bad ones.

I was now standing in front of my door.

As a routine, I never open the door immediately; I always check to make sure no one was inside first. It is sort of paranoia really, I do not want to be caught by an adult.

I slowly crept the door open and peeked inside…

Nothing.

Our house was empty, and if you did not know any better, you had thought no one lived here. That was just the impression our house gave off. My mother and I never really did anything special to decorate our home—but then again, I don’t really know what everyone else’s houses look like, so I have nothing to compare ours too. I just had the feeling it could be more than what it was.

I stepped inside my house, shutting the door behind me.

“Mom?” I said in a raised tone.

…

I did not get a response; I figured my mother would still be out. When I turned 12 she started teaching me how to prepare meals for myself, this was around the time she started to become so busy with what she called “work”. She refused in the past to tell me what it was; I did not see why it mattered so much. She would leave for hours at a time, telling me that it was so we could continue living in the hive.

Now that I think of it, why would she want to live in the hive? If all the lings here want me gone, why do we not just leave? In some of the books my mother would bring home to me when I was younger, they stated that there was a vast world full of beautiful things beyond the walls of the hive. Why would she want to stay in this dark place full of pain and hatred like this?

I looked around the room, observing the details of it.

Nothing changed at all since I have been gone. Everything always seemed so static. Clean, it has always been clean; nothing in here ever becomes messy, my mother and I are the only ones who inhabit this house. The only time it would ever get even slightly messy is when we had had a guest over. She has always told me to stay in my room when we had guests over, at the time I never understood why. I would overhear their conversations, they would talk about “plans” and “ranks” but I never really understood what they meant by it.

I walked over to the door that leads to my room, opening it and stepping inside.

Sigh

This is where I have been my entire life, I have spent so much time in my room—it rather annoys me. I would play with my toys, learned how to speak; I grew up in here. I am always going to either remember this room as a sad or happy place in my memories—but I have not chosen one yet; I do not really know how I feel about this room. I feel as if it’s some sort of cage I have been locked away in my whole life—however I have always had my fair share of happy memories with my mother in here. One thing for certain, I am never going to forget it.

Moving over to my bed, I lazily plopped onto it.

This has to be the best part of my room; it was a place I most favored. This bed has allowed me to sleep for hours at a time and dream wonderful dreams. Even though some were bad, most of them were nice and peaceful. I especially enjoyed the dream I had this morning, that one was by far the best. However, I faintly remember the moment that dream was based on; I can’t really remember a time when that memory actually happened—but I knew it happened, and that’s all that mattered to me.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into thought.

My mother always told me that I shouldn’t be so careless, she knew I would sneak out a lot, and she knew she had no control of whether I did or not. All she could do was trust I would be careful and stay safe. I actually feel bad that I have disobeyed her back then—however had I not; I would never have met the lings that I called my friends today. I do not know how I would be if I have never met my friends…

Would I even be the same person had I not met them? Were the risks I took back then even worth it? I was so close to being caught today—I cannot even joke about it. I know my limits; I have been staying out of trouble for as long as I can remember…

“Mother, I’m so sorry.”

I put my hooves over my eyes.

I have felt so bad, day after day of disobeying her, I felt like I was betraying her, she was the only person I ever trusted at the time. She has done so much for me and this is how I repay her? I have so much respect for her; to do the things I have done just feels flat out wrong. I have never wanted to leave my room—but I have always wanted to explore outside. The amount of pain this contradiction has caused could be accountable for how I have changed since I was younger.

It is just, the way I feel when I am around my friends is so, comforting. I feel so, free, when I am around them. Why could I not just be like one of them? They get to go around wherever they want—whenever they want.

“It’s not fair…”

It wasn’t fair, It just wasn’t. For my whole life, I’ve had to stay in this house with my mother, alone. I couldn’t rationally explain to you why it was wrong, it just was, and I knew that as a fact, I’d remind myself everyday that it was. What do they even think of me? Why would they want to be gone forever? Am I some kind of… monster?

“…”

My body began to shiver, my breathing began to quicken. I started to have an achy feeling running through my body, and felt pressure on my eyes. I don’t know why this keeps happening to me. I never even understood what it meant. I felt as if I was suppose to relieve the pain and tension built up inside of me—but there was some kind of barrier stopping me from doing it.

I felt like everything and everyone was mocking me, sure I had my friends, but there were so many things that were wrong with life. Was what Ed really said true? That I was just some weak girl who has no power to change anything?

I tried to calm myself. Curling up in my bed, I allowed myself to drift off…

......

I woke up.

This time I opened my eyes.

I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep—but I’d be lying if I said I cared. I felt exhausted, and after what happened yesterday, I should be expecting that. I felt no reason to get up, my daily meet-up with my friends has passed, and I don’t really want to see Zo so early after what happened…

“…”

I better check if mother came back, I’d hate for her to think I just went back to sleep after she left for her work.

I lazily got up from bed, rubbing my eye gently and walking over to the mirror. I’m not going to lie, my mane looked like a complete mess.

“I don’t want her to see me like this…”

I picked up my brush and started brushing my mane in strokes. I spent about 5 minutes getting it to look nice and neat. It wasn’t fancy or spectacular albeit—but it was at least presentable and not messy.

Putting the brush down I walked out of my room in search of my mother.

“…”

She still wasn’t home.

“I thought she’d at least be back by now…”

Sigh

I walked over to the table I ate at and sat down.

I looked around the room, nothing was really different, except… My mother’s room door was open a little?

“I didn’t notice that on my way in.”

Now that I think about it, I haven’t been in my mother’s room since I was a small child. I wonder if she’s changed it since then. But then again, I shouldn’t invade her privacy.

I sat there, looking around the room more. Then I looked back at her door, staring at it for a good while.

Let’s just say curiosity got the best of me and there was no possible way to control it.

I slowly walked over to my mother’s room door.

I opened it slowly, turning on her room’s lantern.

“…”

It’s the exact same as before, there was a bed, a small table next to it, some candles, and her desk.

But… Something was on the desk, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

I slowly crept over to her desk, looking around the room a little more.

Peeking over the desk, there was a note and what looked like… a hairpin?

I picked up the note, it read:

______________

My beloved daughter,

I know I haven’t been there for you these past few years, but it was only so you could become more social and grow into a normal mare. I was never bothered when you’d leave the house, in fact, I wanted you to explore every once and a while. I knew if I didn’t do this, you’d never do it. I know all about your friends, they’ve helped shape you to be the mare you are today. You must cherish them, for in this world, they are the most valuable things to have. I’m so terribly sorry for neglecting you, it has pained me every day I’ve done so—but I knew it was the only way. All I can hope for is that you’ll forgive me.

Just know this: There is a world outside of this place, and it’s beautiful. I want you to be able to experience it for yourself. So for your birthday, I’m going to take you outside the hive and we are going to travel to the top of a mountain! I know you’d like this, you’ve always been curious about what’s outside the walls of the hive.

I want you to have our sapphire family crest my mother gave me when I was your age. I know it’ll bring you good luck in this world and help guide you to your destiny. Also, a secret I must share with you is of dire importance, I felt as if it would be right for you to know now that you’re a fully-grown mare. I didn’t want to tell you and have it break your sweet little heart.

Just know, I love you with all my heart, and I’d never do anything to hurt you if I didn’t have to. You mean the absolute world to me.

Be ready and waiting by the time I get back after you’ve received this so we can leave as soon as I get back from work.

Happy birthday!

Your loving mother.

______________

“S-S-She…”

My body started to shake involuntarily, the pressure on my eyes started again like they had before.

“She… Did it on purpose…?”

I started backing away slowly, losing my balance and stumbling onto her bed.

“She pushed me away so I’d go and make friends? WHY?” My voice elevated.

“She’s brought me so much pain… And didn’t even plan on tell me until now!”

I tossed and turn on the bed from the overwhelming pain of emotions.

“All I wanted was her love, and she rejected me so I’d leave!?” I yelled. “If that’s all she wanted she should have just said so!”

“If that’s all she wanted she should have just said so!”

I buried my face in her pillow, my eyes felt a lot of pressure.

“Why…”

“…I… I loved her…”

“…And she betrayed me…”

My body was aching all over, finding the reason why my mother has pushed me away for all these years, it was simply too much for me to handle. I lied on her bed for a few minutes, contemplating my memories and how everything added up. Thoughts were overbearing my mind.

"How could I have been so naive..?" I started quietly, mumbling under my breath. “And yet, I am still forgiving her…”

“And yet, I forgive her…”

I stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes straight, trying to collect my thoughts.

“I need to find Zo.”

I quickly got up and started moving towards the door, stopping just before crossing through it as a thought ran through my mind.

“…”

I looked back at the desk.

I began walking to it, looking at the note and hairpin.

Taking the hairpin, I fastened it into my hair. It was the shape of a sapphire ring, with a silver twinkling star in the center. It looked beautiful; I remembered seeing my mother wearing it a long time ago.

I picked up the quill, dabbing ink onto it. When I turned ten, my mother taught me how to write, it took me a while to ever get any good at it though. My hoofwriting was not nearly as good as my mother’s—but definitely not horrible or unreadable. Very distinct if you asked me.

I flipped over the paper and began writing:

______________

Mother,

I forgive you for everything you’ve done, I know it was for the best. Just know, I loved you, and I still do, I always will. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shaken up over what you told me though.

I’m going to be staying with my friend Zo for a few days until things calm down. You can cancel the trip you planned—maybe we can do it later.

I’m so sorry.

Camilla

Ps. Sorry for going in your room without permission.

______________

“There, that should be good enough.”

I put the quill down and ran out of her room with haste.

Leaving the home I grew up in, I shut the door behind me and ventured off to the training room.

“Maybe he’ll still be there if I hurry.”

......

I approached the doors to the training room in a partial sprint, slowing down as I reached the doors. I peeked inside and saw that there was nobody to be found inside of it.

“They must have already left…”

The feeling of sorrow took over me; I sat down with my back against the door.

I did not know where Zo lived; I never even considered going there, mostly because it was big risk. The odds of being caught were too damn high. But I should have anyway, he is my friend.

I looked down at the floor, my mane obscuring my vision.

“I’d be impossible to find him right now.”

“…”

I stood up, turning around and entering the training room.

I walked through the training room slowly, remembering all the awesome memories I have of this place. All the times I have spent with the lings, I would call friends, or even family for that matter. Good or bad.

“I should probably thank mom next time I see her for helping me meet them...”

“…”

“If she even wants to see me ever again… I wouldn’t blame her...”

Sigh

The life of a changeling is awful, too many secrets, too many rules, too much war. When I was younger, I started wondering of other lives. At the time, I thought even being a fish would be nicer than this. I use to read books all the time; it gave me a sense of fantasy. It allowed me to imagine entire worlds all revolved around the laws and physics that I placed around them. Reading was much of a delight to me when I was younger and mother would bring home books almost every day for me to read. I am actually very grateful she had; I learned a lot from those books.

One day, I found a book stating that outside of the changeling hive there are towns and cities inhabited by “ponies”. Apparently, they are a species similar to us, except did not live in dark caves, and they were all equal in each other’s eyes, working together to achieve things. I have always fantasized about being a pony, being free and not being hated by everyone. It was that of a pipedream for me as the life of a changeling is definitely a heart-felt one.

I have always enjoyed the feeling of sharing love with my mother; it was a warming feeling that gave me energy. However—I read somewhere changelings feed off the love of others to survive. I have never felt of having those intentions, just the sheer joy of enjoying another’s presence was a very exciting thing to me, I would never want to use someling like that; it hurt me inside to even consider tampering with the love of others. Love that is not genuine is cold, it is dull, and it is unimaginable.

I reached the end of the training hall, and glanced over at the supply closet doors.

The moment I shared with Zo, that was the kind of love I had always enjoyed sharing. It was genuine and pure. Sometimes—I found I wished it had last forever—but could something like that even last that long. How could anyone love a changeling? I have read that they attack the cities of ponies I read about and steal the love shared between two people. Even if these stories of ponies were true, they would never just let me be one of them. They would probably reject me and chase me out of their town.

“Being a changeling is awful.”

I walked over to the supply closet, looking around. I saw the spot where I and Zo were sitting at.

“Oh Zo…” I mumbled under my breath.

I cannot believe that just a while ago, I was in here, with Zo. The feelings we shared was unimaginable, I never could have thought that I could share that kind of feeling with anyling other than my mother. Zo was such a kind person to me, he's listened to me, kept me safe, and he’s given me the benefit of the doubt that he was without question, a ling I could trust with all my heart.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away, Zo. I should have said yes to you, but instead I said no like a coward.”

“…”

No, I was not a coward. My friend has always helped me when I needed help and I have always helped them when they needed help. That was the exchange we would have, laughs and good memories ensued. They have helped me grow and become the ling I am today; I cannot just let them down now.

I had to find Zo, even if it meant risking my life. This was my mission, my retribution.

I ran out of the storage closet, rushing towards the doors leading out of the training room.

“STOP!”

My heart skipped a beat—I started to turn my head to the sounds location.

I felt a sudden heavy weight quickly force me to the ground. My entire body was being forced into the ground; I could hear my outer-shell cracking and shattering from the collision and consistent weight suppressing me into place.

I could feel shattered pieces of my shell stabbing my body; it hurt more than anything I have ever felt in my entire life. The most pain I have ever experienced was when I would mess up in training and fall a small distance—but I have never experienced pain of this magnitude.

I wanted to scream badly, it undoubtedly would be blood curdling. I could tell the shell for my thigh had shattered, the sharp shell pieces were penetrating my skin, it felt like I was being lit on fire. The amount of pain made it impossible to yell or make any kind of noise.

I started to be overcome with drowsiness.

“Don’t you fucking move!” A deep voice yelled into my ear. It felt like it shattered my eardrum.

I got a single glance at what, or who had tackled me, it was an adult changeling with a guard’s helmet.

I was filled with sheer terror and horror as I came to the realization that I was being captured.

The guard had my arms pinned down, I felt like he was squeezing my arms so hard they would explode.

I slowly began to lose consciousness as the amount of pain and terror was overbearing.

The last thing I thought about was my mother.

“I’m sorry, mother... I was being careless…”

“I’ve captured the target, Requesting picku-”

        …And then I fell unconscious…

......

“MOM!” A young voice screamed.

The young-one struggled to stay above the rushing current.

“MOM! HELP!” The young voice screamed repeatedly.

There was not a single being in sight.

“SOMEONE, ANYONE, PLEASE!” The young voice cried at the top of its lungs, struggling to take in air.

The young-one slammed against a rock along the river, losing its ability to fight. It swiftly fell under the current.

The young-one floated freely at the bottom of river, unable to move, quickly losing what little breath it had left…

“...”

“CAMILLA!”

“...”

“LET GO OF HER!”

        …And then I woke up…

…

I started coughing up blood, the corrosive—neon green liquid spewed onto the floor beneath me. I was dizzy.

As I got my bearings, I realized I was being held over the back of a guard.

I heard voices, but they were all muffled as I came to.

“Release her now!”

“All unauthorized personnel must be taken to the hive leader for questioning!” A voice exclaimed angrily.

There were two guards next to me… And… I struggled to see who else was talking, I was still dizzy.

“Let go of my daughter now you damn animals! She’s bleeding profusely and needs medical attention now!”

“M-Mother!? S-she came to rescue me?”

“We have our orders admiral; it’s our duty to follow them!”

I tried to muster up enough energy to call out to her.

“M-Mo….m…..” My voice quietly groaned.

The pain from earlier began seeping back into me, it was extremely overbearing. It was obvious I had a serious injury, the pain was excruciating.

“Camilla! Every thing’s going to be okay sweetheart!” My mother said to me with a distressful undertone—it still calmed my nerves a bit nonetheless.

“As the Admiral of this hive I demand you release her now! My rank allows superseding any order given without direct confrontation of the hive’s leading commander!”

My breathing was unstable and jagged; I could not understand anything that was going on right now. My mind was full of static, I could barely think with the throbs of pain coming from my leg.

I saw the two guards look at each other briefly and nod at my mother with an annoyed look on their faces.

I suddenly felt a bump, and then I was falling, and then hit the ground. I screamed in pain as I hit the floor and the fragments of shell-remains dug deeper into the wound, tearing it open my skin even more. I could feel my warm, acidic blood pooling onto the floor.

“CAMILLA!” My mother yelled in a terrified shriek.

        …And then I fainted…

…

I woke up again, my eyes felt heavy and unresponsive—but I managed to open them enough to see a few things.

The first thing I noticed was that I was moving; my body was shaking up and down.

The second thing I noticed was that my mother’s mane was hanging by my face. She was carrying me.

“M-mo…” I tried vocalizing, but I felt utterly exhausted and unable to move a single muscle.

“Thank Celestia, Camilla darling you’re alright.” My mother said with a lot of worry in her voice.

I made some kind of moaning noise with my mouth closed to try to agree with what she said.

“Don’t talk sweetie, every thing’s going to be okay, just try to save your energy.” She said.

I could tell she was emotionally distraught, but there was no way for me to comfort her—I felt awful about it.

As we traveled, the pain caught up to me once again and I started squealing and wheezing, trying to resist the urge to make noise. The pain was agonizing, with every step my mother took it was like a hot knife piercing my skin repeatedly.

There were many things happening right now completely unknown to me and I found it hard to make sense of it all, so I did not, I just tried my best to stay alive, for my mother’s sake at the least.

I closed my eyes from to the intensity of the nausea that overtook me. I heard a door open and people talking…

“Help her!” My mother screamed.

I heard the cluttering of footsteps around me as I was picked up and placed gently onto some kind of soft bedding. I felt a jolt of pain as I was put down, but it was near impossible to make a sound.

Multiple changelings started yelling around me, it was hard to keep up with them.

“Analysis?”

“Her shell is completely shattered around the thigh area of her left hind leg! It’s caused multiple cuts and a deep laceration; it’s possible she has a femoral shaft fracture!”

“Sweet Celestia…”

“Get her some narcotics! Fast!”

“We need to operate now!”

“Her blood levels are dropping! She’s bleeding profusely!”

“Elevate the leg!”

“We need to start now, the wound could be infected!”

“We’ll have to amputate the leg at this rate!”

“Stand back; I’m injecting 25 mg of morphine!”

I felt a sharp pain around the area of my leg, however—I tried moving from but it was impossible, something was holding my body in place.

“The injections done!”

I began slowly drawing closer and closer to losing consciousness; all the voices became more and more quiet. That last thing I heard was my mother…

“Will she be alright?!” My mother asked. I could hear the distress in her voice.

“We’re unsure right now. All we know is that we need to begin surg-”

        …And then I fell asleep…

......

“M-Mommy?” The young-one whimpered.

“Yes, Camilla?”

“I-I tripped and s-scraped my leg…”

“Let me see.” The mare said with concern, examining her leg.

“It stings, Mommy!”

Smiling, she replied “Maybe I can help.”

The mare kissed her daughter’s leg.

The little one giggled.

“Does that make it feel any better?” Asked the mare.

“Yes!” The young-one laughed.

“Thanks mommy…” The young-one spoke quietly, hugging the mare.

The mare simply smiled, massaging her daughters back.

“I’ll always be there for you, Camilla, so never frown again. Promise?”

“I promise.”

        …And then I woke up…

…

I felt dizzy. I put my hoof to my head as I slowly came too.

I noticed I was not looking up at a ceiling that was the same as mine; I was not in my room…

I turn my head, seeing two changelings wearing white robes around their necks. They had eye guards, like the kind changelings use when they are outside the hive, except these were red. They must have been medical changelings then. I remember reading about them in a book somewhere. I must have been in a medical facility then.

I looked down and saw that my leg was heavily wrapped with linen cloth. I could feel throbs of pain coming from the area. I wondered what happened, then remembered.

I was captured.

I began shivering as fear crept into my mind.

“The patient is awake! Alert the head doctor immediately!” A male voice said in a raised voice.

“They’re going to dissect me!”

I tried to roll out of the bed—but pain surged through my body as I tried to. Groaning in pain, I lied back down. It was no use, I could not move. It is over for me…

“Ehem” I heard a male’s voice beside me, clearing his throat.

I quickly turned my head to the voice.

“Good day to you, miss.” He said with a bit of an upbeat tone. “You’ve been out for about an hour.”

I recoiled in my bed, sitting upright with my back against the wall, trying to put distance between me and him.

“You are in no danger, we of the medical corps do not believe in the harming others.”

I did not care what he said, all adult changelings wanted me dead, and that has already been proven.

“It seems you had a little accident with your leg—but you have nothing to worry about, we’ve taken care of it.”

I looked down at my leg and remember the guard crushing it just before I blacked-out. I reached down and touched my leg to see. It definitely felt better than it did just a few moments ago.

“You need to, however, stay off it for a while so it can heal. Putting too much pressure on your leg will result in the wound reopening.”

I slowly found trust in his words, slowly lowering my guard and lying back down into the bed. I tried to mustered up the courage to speak to him, it felt rude not to.

“T-Thank you…” I said quietly, I tried to avoid showing fear in my voice.

“It was our pleasure, miss. We’d help any creature in need; here, we do not discriminate between gender, race, or species.” He said, looking at me kindly. I exchanged him a small smile to show my gratitude.

“We’d offer to hold you here till it’s properly healed, but we’re instructed not to.” He said with uncomfort in his voice.

“T-that’s okay, but why?” I spoke up, pushing my boundaries so not to be rude.

“Unfortunately, other changelings are very discriminative and believe in old rules and traditions we originate from.” He said very nervously. “I regret to inform you—but you’ve been scheduled for execution.”

My eyes grew wide in shock.

They were going to kill me, and I could not even run if I had the chance, my injured leg would be too much of a hindrance; I would not get very far…

Thoughts were coursing through my mind.

“It couldn’t be over… Why… I didn’t do anything wrong. Why does it have to be this way? Why do all the changelings here want me dead? Why can I not just live a normal life like everyling else? I’d die for our Queen if I had to, I’d never betray them, why are they doing this to me? Why… Why…?”

“I’m terribly sorry; you can guarantee we of the medical corps will wish for you to not suffer.”

I stared blankly at my legs, the sadness of everything ending could have easily have been read on my face. But in the back of my head, I felt like he was not to blame. No, he was not to blame. And yet, he is blaming himself. I could not live with having him feel that way.

“...It’s not your fault… Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine, really.” I said, masking the sadness in my words.

He did not give me any kind of response, so I looked up at him. He had a smile on his face. I returned his smile, glad to have ceased his unease.

“One moment, miss.” He said to me in a hushed-mellow voice, walking away from my bedside, turning into a hallway.

I sat there for at least three minutes before he came walking back, with a close-eyed smile on his face.

“I believe this belongs to you.”

He pulled out my family’s heirloom, the hairpin I put in my hair just before I left the house to look for Zo. It was undamaged and in the same pristine edition, it was when I found it.

“We had to remove it from you during the operation; I made sure it didn’t get lost.”

I looked at him happily, joy was in my eyes.

He gave a small chuckle, fastening the hairpin into my hair.

“It goes on like this, right?”

I just kept eye contact, the amount of happiness it brought me to see the only piece of home I had put me at ease, I was speechless. I never knew something like this could make me happy. I felt happy and warm, even if just for a brief moment, I cherished every second of it.

“...Are you okay?” He asked slowly.

“Thank you…”  I said to him, my eyes starting to feel pressure again, but this time—it felt more easing than sadning.

He smiled. “It was no trouble at all.”

We shared a lighthearted gaze with each other.

“I’ll let you rest; I need to get back to work.” He said softly, slowly turning around and walking out of the room.

“...”

“Maybe not all changelings are bad after all…”

...

For at last two hours, I have been resting in the bed provided for me. I was deep in thought, trying to comprehend everything that happened.

“What my mom said back there… Is she really apart of those monsters?”

No, that cannot be right; my mother was too kind-hearted to act like they do. They were brutes, my mother was gentle. She cannot possibly be. She would never side with them.

“...”

And my leg… I can feel throbs of pain coming from my leg, but it was not unbearable, I actual found that it is ignorable at least. It seems the shell on my leg is severely damaged; it will probably never grow back with how it seems right now… I wonder if I will ever be able to even walk on it again, he did say it was fine, it just needed to heal.

“...”

Did it even matter? I was going to be killed anyway. What was the point in even helping me if I was going to be sent to my death soon after? They should have just done it while I was out, at least then I would not have to feel so anxious of it happening…

Sigh

At least he was nice… That was the first adult changeling that did not want to kill me in the years of me living here. He was gentle and kind, he did not try to hurt me. I guess not all adult changelings are bad. When I was younger, my mother taught me that they were all evil—but this changeling spoke with courtesy and made me feel ease amongst the pain I was suffering.

“Maybe there is hope for changelings after all.”

I looked up.

But that does not excuse the way they are now. It is like the medical ling said; they follow outdated rules and traditions. I have read a book on the older traditions, some were outlawed for being too extreme, but others seem to make it past no problem despite how morally wrong they were.

What even was the point in killing females? I could not find an explanation in the books regarding it... Did they think we were traitorous? No, if they did, they would not let a female become their ruler. My best guess was that there was some weird tradition saying a female rules everything and that she’s the only female allowed to exist.

Maybe what Ed said was true—that females were useless to the survival of the lings, that we would just burden them with being weak.

“...”

“...Why am I siding with Ed?”

I rolled my eyes.

“I really need to rest—everything happening is making me go crazy…”

        …And then I drifted off to sleep…

...

I walked through dark caverns, searching for a way out. I’ve been stuck here for weeks, months, possibly even years.

I heard a noise from around a corner up ahead.

Running, I quickly turned the corner and saw nothing, it was a room full of darkness.

I slowly walked into the room, I looked for a lantern I could light.

Suddenly, I took a step forward and soon found there was no floor, I starting sliding into a hole, I quickly turned and grabbed the edge with my hooves.

I held on for dear life. I didn’t want to descend deeper into the abyss then I already have.

I struggled, trying to pull myself up—but the edge started cracking, forcing me to stop. It was no use, if I put too much pressure on it, I would fall and be gone forever—all of my efforts I put into getting here would be in vain.

I was alone in this world, I had no one to turn to, I was running out of choices.

No, I had run out of choices.

I could feel the tension in my muscles as my grip began to loosen and my muscle wearing out.

There was nothing I could do, I was out of options, my only choice was to descend into the darkness and let it overcome me.

The edge started cracking more.

I closed my eyes and thought of all the memories I had.

The edge cracked and crumbled, forcing me to lose my grip.

It was over…

*)Clap(*

I felt the hoof of another being clutching mine.

It felt strong and reliable.

“I got you, don’t worry!” The voice said.

They started pulling me up.

And then I realized: I wasn’t alone.

The light of their torch blinded me with white intensity while pulling me up...

“Thanks.”

        …And then I woke up…

......

My head was spinning, I had a headache.

As I slowly came too, I noticed I was on someling’s back.

I couldn’t tell who it was.

I tried to shift around and look up, but my body was unresponsive, I was too exhausted to move.

“...Mom..?” I groaned quietly.

I heard a sinister laugh.

“You’re gonna die, weasel” A raspy voice said in excitement.

My eyes shot open, I began peering around, I was surrounded by two other guards, one ahead of us and one behind.

I tried to move, but my body was limp and my muscles were aching. My energy was exhausted, I haven’t had proper sleep in a long time. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I just went through surgery.

I tried my best to struggle—but my body felt lifeless.

The ling carrying me over his back kneed me my stomach when I managed to move a little. I squealed in pain, my stomach was very sensitive to pain.

“Easy, Kon, save the entertainment for when we get there.” The guard behind us said with a laugh in his voice.

I could feel throbs of pain coming from the wound in my leg, I tried my best to ignore it.

Even if I wanted to run, it was too late now.

A sudden thought ran through my mind, it was of my mother. I remembered something she said to me just earlier. I decided it would better to save my energy, so I let myself hang limply on the guards back instead of struggling.

“I guess you really can’t change your fate…”

I closed my eyes, trying to zone out until fate comes knocking. I’d be impossible to sleep on a back, anyway.

...

“You guys hear about how our Queen attacked Canterlot?”

“Hah, yeah, that was wicked awesome.”

“Damn, I bet she’s a dominatrix, seizing control like that. Gotta fuckin’ love it.”

“...”

“You really have some problems, you know that Hen?”

“...”

“...Idiots...”

…

“Finally, we’re here.” The one ahead of us said tiredly.

“What took you guys so long?” Asked a ling up ahead.

“She’s heavier than she looks.” The ling I’m being carried by said.

I groaned at his crude insult.

“Well let’s hurry up and get this shit show on the road.”

“Yeah yeah.”

The one carrying me started to walk forward.

“It’s not our job to kill fuckin’ kill our own kind. That’s what the hatchery control lings are for…”

“Gotta expect weird things like this to pop up every now and then...”

“Whatever.”

The ling carrying me stopped.

I opened my eyes to try and find out where I was.

He proceeded to knock me off his back and I tumbled onto the floor. I groaned in pain, my bad leg hit hard off the ground.

I lied there in pain, I didn’t want to move, I never wanted to move.

I took a peek around, there were at least twenty changelings surrounding me from a distance.

A few of them were snickering.

I put my hoof to my head. I had a headache, it was a pretty bad one.

I was too dizzy to feel scared. I had a lot of nausea too; I felt like throwing up, but I couldn’t.

So many eyes were looking at me… Judging me… I just wanted it to end.

“How could she have made it this far?” I heard one of them questioned quietly in the background.

“I heard she’s the daughter of the admiral.”

“What?! Admiral Jov? Why would she be harboring a female?”

I have no clue, I heard she’s been taken for questioning.”

“Admiral Jov is our friend, what if she’s executed too?!”

“I don’t know, we can only hope she’s not.”

“No… Mom… Please be okay… Please...”

I roughly scraped my hoof on the ground.

“Please…”

“Time to get this show on the road.”

Ponies around me went silent.

“You, scoundrel.” The speaker said, pointing at me.

“You have been ordered to be executed.”

I closed my eyes.

“You did not commit any crimes...”

I opened my eyes, looking up at him.

“Your mother, Admiral Jov, has.”

The crowed of lings gasps in shocked.

I heard the crowd whispering.

“He can’t serious, right?”

“Admiral Jov is betraying us?”

“I knew she was hiding something!”

“Quiet, please.”

All the lings went quiet immediately.

“As much of a shock this is to all of you, it’s the truth.”

“What lies before you is the female offspring from Admiral Jov herself.”

The crowd started whispering again.

“She does look like her.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“And now, it is our duty to execute her.” He said in a serious tone. “Any ideas how we can do so?”

The crowd erupted into loud whispering I couldn’t understand.

“LET’S CUT OFF HER HEAD!” A familiar voice said.

I let out a gasp, I put my hoof to my mouth to silence myself.

“We’re not gonna listen to Hen are we? He’s insane!”

“What did you say?!” Hen replied in an annoyed tone.

“Quiet down, both of you. We’re not doing anything that brutal.” The speaker announced.

My nerves calmed, even if just a little.

“How about quick and painless.” One suggested.

The crowd began to make noises of agreement.

“Hack her head off, guillotine style.”

The crowd began to make even louder noises of agreement.

My breathing became jagged with fear, I could hear my breath.

“Alright then, let’s get this over with quickly.”

I heard the loud steps of the speaker as he slowly made his way towards me.

I stared at him intensely.

“Give me a hoof over here!” He said.

Two over changelings came over.

One put his hoof on my head, forcing my head onto the ground, it hurt along with the headache.

The other held my back down, I felt like my wound was lit on fire at this point.

I heard the noise of a sharp blade being unsheathed.

I squeezed my eyes shut as he raised it over my neck.

“3…” He began counting.

I held my breath, trying to not think about dying.

“2…”

I thought of all my memories, how my mother’s taken care of me and shown me love, how my friends have accepted me and made me feel wanted in this cruel world.

“Mom… I’m sorry…”

“1…”

“STOP!”

“Huh?”

“Who is that?””

“Is that…””

“Admiral Jov.” The speaker stopped the slice and said formally.

“What do you think you’re all doing?!”

“...Mom…”

“We have orders to execute the girl.” The speaker replied.

“How is she here?””

“I thought they were gonna kill Jov...””

“She’s my daughter!” Mother yelled.

“We have to do this!” He yelled back

“I just got back from speaking with the hive leader, he’s cancel the execution.” She said with slight worry in her voice. “Where’s my daughter? Where is she?!”

The two lings holding me to the ground let go and backed away slowly.

I looked up and saw the speaker step out of the way.

“Camilla!”

“Mom…” I said, groaning in pain.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner…” She said in a quiet voice.

“It’s okay… I forgive you.” I said quietly.

“You’re going to be fine now, okay?” She said comforting tone.

“What? She gets to live?!” Hen cried from the crowd.

“Fuck off, Hen.” another replied.

“Our apologies admiral, we didn’t want to, we were just following orders.” The speaker said.

“Whatever...” Mother replied slyly.

“We mean it, you have our utmost respect.”

“It’s the past now.” She said in a deathly serious tone.

“Okay okay.” He replied quickly. “What do we do with the gir- I mean, your daughter? Surely she can’t be allowed here.”

My mother looked down at the ground in sadness for a few seconds.

“She has been banished out of the hive in return for sparing her life. That was the agreement.” She said dully.

The room went silent for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, admiral.”

“Whatever...”

“...”

“Let’s get it over with...” The speaker said slowly and carefully.

My mother exhaled, looking at me.

She initially had a smile but it quickly turned into a frown.

I wore the saddest face I’ve made in my entire life.

“You’re making me leave..?” I asked slowly.

“Sweetheart... I have to, there’s no other way…”

“WHY!?” I screamed at her.

I heard the other lings stop mumbling, they left the room seconds after.

The pressure on my eyes were unbearable, I felt like they were going to explode.

“Camilla… It has noth-”

“Why are you making me leave!?” I questioned angrily. “Why?!”

“It wasn’t my choice, it was their

“Then don’t let them choose!” I yelled.

“It doesn’t work like that!” My mother yelled at me.

“...”

She stared at me with a look of horror on her face.

I started to tremble, my mother just yelled at me, for the first time in years, she’s...angry, at me… Why?

“C-Camilla…” She stuttered in shock.

She pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly.

“Camilla, I didn’t mean to yell at you…”

I put my head against her chest, wheezing in pain, the pressure was overbearing.

“Camilla…” She said quietly, stroking my mane.

“Listen, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” She started. “I work for the changeling army, that’s my job.”

“W-Wha…”

“It’s not what you think, I’d never hurt or betray you. You know that.”

“Then tell them to let me stay… You can make all of this stop… You could let me live here!”

“Camilla. I can’t. I don’t have that kind of power.”

“Then come with me! Please! Don’t make me be all alone! Anything but that! Please!”

“...”

“I can’t…”

“Why not?!”

“Listen to me, Camilla. There is something out there, something bigger and better than this. There is something great waiting for you, a place you can be truly happy. I know it might look bad, and it probably looks harsh. But just believe me when I say, you will be happy. I promise.”

I stared her in the eyes.

“Mom…”

“It’s time to go, just trust me.”

I wrapped my arms around her.

“I’m sorry, mom…”

She smiled at me.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Camilla. You're the greatest daughter I could ever have asked for, and more. I love you, a lot, sweetheart.”

“I love you too…”

We hugged each other tightly.

…

We arrived at the main gate, which connected the hive to the outside world. It was huge in comparison to me; it had to be at least fifty hooves tall and twenty changelings wide.

I've seen it in the past from a distance—but, to be this close... It's astounding.

It looked to be made of metal and sturdy enough to withstand the bucking of hundreds of changelings.

All the guard changelings sat around, chatting with each other. I didn’t know why, so I asked my mother.

“They’re getting ready to open the gate, it’s extremely heavy and requires a lot of force to open it, but even more to close it.”

I wondered why it’d take more to close it then open it, I couldn’t think of any good reason.

I decided I’d rest, I was very tired after what I’ve been through. I ended up resting my head on my mother’s shoulder as she was sitting next to me. She just rubbed my head and brushed my mane with her hoof.

“…”

“What’s going on in here?!” A booming voice shouted questioningly.

“We’re setting up to open the gate like you ordered, sir.”

“Camilla...” My mom whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes to see what she wanted.

“That’s the hive leader over there.” She pointed. “Don’t anger him, okay?”

“Y-yes mom.”

“It sure doesn’t look like it! Open gate now!” The hive leader commanded.

“Yes commander Ruk!” They said in unison, all of them getting up and rushing to attach the harnesses and getting lined up.

The harnesses had strong cables attached to the door, it seemed like they’d pull the door open. It must be a lot of work.

Within a productive five minutes all the pullers were hooked up to a harness.

Ruk glared at me, he had the most anger-filled eyes I’ve ever seen. They were bloodshot, with a menacing yellow dye in the middle. I recoiled when I saw them, they were not something you saw every day.

“Admiral Jov, now!” He said with loud anger, glaring at my mother. I felt immediate relief when he stopped looking at me.

“R-Right, sorry sir.” She said carefully.

She looked over at me with worrying eyes; she was in a really depressed mood.

“Time to go, Camilla.”

“...Alright.” I replied.

“Bring the female here, NOW!” He yelled.

She got up in a hurry, grabbing my hoof and pulling me along with her.

“Begin opening the gate!” Ruk commanded.

All the pullers began struggling with all their might to pull the door open, within seconds, the floor began to rumble as the gate slowly opened.

As the it opened, strong gusts of cold wind began filling the room, making it a harder to keep my eyes open. For the first time in my life, I’ve seen what it looks like outside of the wall.

It was dark and cold.

A place uncomfortable.

It certainly didn’t look like a place I’d enjoy.

I felt a strong grip grab at my arm, tugging me along. It was Ruk, he was dragging me towards the gate. I tried resisting, but his grip was strong. It felt like my arm was going to snap if he kept persisting.

My body trembled in fear as he looked me dead in the eyes.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay, traitor.” He said with anger, spitting acid with his words.

He then threw me through the gates into the cold outside world.

I could feel the warmth of the hive leave as I flew through the air, entering the cold wasteland.

I landed in a pile of snow, it was a pretty soft landing, I got up and shook my head.

I turned and saw the doors slowly closing on me.

It was impossible to hear voices over the loud wind currents.

And for some reason, I didn’t feel sad.

I was looking at the place where I grew up, where I learned everything I knew, where I met the lings I proudly called my friends, where I learned many valuable lessons, where I shared happy memories with my mother, the place I use to call home. And yet, I’m not sad that it’s leaving. I’m not sad that I’m leaving.

My mother was standing next to the gates with the saddest look in her eyes. It was the saddest look I’ve ever seen her wear in my life.

She glanced up a little noticing the family heirloom I wore, she stared in awe.

She smiled warmly at me, I could feel her warmth emanating from a distance, it was drawing me in as if it was something sweet. But I resisted the urge to turn around; I had to prove to my mother I was strong.

The wind current started blinding me and I heard a loud lightning strike nearby, causing me to go temporarily deaf.

I ended up locking into a stare with my mother, we shared a mix emotions, from happy to sad to understanding. We didn’t speak as the doors closed, I wouldn’t hear her if she said anything anyway.

The doors grew close to being shut and just before they did, she said something to me—I could hear it clear as day.

“Live on.”

_____________________________