Your Human and You: The Thief

I fidgeted as the white unicorn fiddled around below me. "Hold still Phantom, this is already very difficult with the size difference. I do not need you to make it harder to do this." Armani spoke as she used her magic.

~Sorry,~ My face reddened and I looked up, away from the mare as she moved faster. ~I'm not used to anyone being this close to me.~ I twitched again. ~Especially when I'm unclothed.~

"He says that he isn't used to being nude near anyone before." Trist relayed my sign language to Armani. "This is actually one of the few times I've seen him naked." Trist stared as Armani changed positions.

~You've seen me naked before?!~ I pulled back my hips.

"Yeah, " She continued to observe Armani. "When you were injured and I didn't know you were sapient I took a gander at you."

"Excuse me you two," Armani paused what she was doing and lifted herself to a standing position. "I would appreciate it if the two of you did not have a lover's quarrel while I am taking Phantom's measurements." She proved her case by lifting the measuring tape she had been wrapping around me.

"We are NOT lovers!." Trist apologized.

~Ditto.~ I signed to her even though she wouldn't know what I signed.

"It does not matter." She floated a sketchpad over and began writing on it. "He is five foot two inches. Short for a human of his age. Wait," Armani paused. "How old are you anyway?" I thought about her question as I stood there, still butt naked.

How old am I? I never really though that much about it. I dug into my duffel bag and pulled out my notepad.

+I have some vague memories about before I appeared here.+ I thought about what I was going to say. +Although all of it is very blurred. Like someone just took a dirty rag and harshly wiped them out.+ Trist and Armani looked at me in silence. I rolled my eyes. +I do remember having a birthday cake with the number eleven on it.+

Armani and Trist stared at me, jaws open. "Since I met you two years ago," Trist put the pieces together. "That means you're thirteen?! I thought you were one or two years old!"

~What? No!~ I naturally switched back to sign language to communicate faster. ~Do I look like a baby to you!~

"Well fine then, you're thirteen. Geez, that's. . ." Trist breathed in an out deeply.

"A shock?" Armani suggested.

"Yeah, that."

"So," Armani got to writing again. "Now that we know that you are actually thirteen, when your body size and age equals that of other human two year olds."

+When you say it like that, it just sound harsh.+ I wrote. Armani continued talking aloud her findings.

"Compared to a two year old human, you are 5 foot 2 inches; shorter that the average."

+That sounds even worse.+

"And you weigh 110 pounds. Quite fit for a human of your age." She nodded. I smiled with satisfaction at being better than average. Trist also smirked.

"You can thank all that training I put you through back two years ago." Trist crossed her arms.

~Yeah, thanks for the bruises and a broken arm that on time.~ Trist shrugged.

"No pain, no gain." Armani, not liking being ignored once again, lit up at her brilliant idea. She grew a mischievous smile.

"And your genitals are way smaller than the average."

~Wait. What you just say?!~ My eyes felt like they were going to pop out when I heard this information about my privates being small. Trist covered her mouth to avoid laughing, only to fail and fall to the ground laughing her lung empty.

"That is the last of the information I need to make your new clothes." Armani flipped her sketchpad with her magic and turned to me. "Do you have any preferences?" I paused without though as I processed her question. Uhhh. . . I had to think about this, this was to be my new outfit. Specially made too. I guess it'd have to be black, since it'll blend in with the dark more. And cover any skin so none of my skin pops out. I put my piece of coal to paper, wrote a three-bullet list, and handed it to Armani. She read it aloud.

"Black color, covers the whole body, and a face mask." She was silent after she read the last one. She finally faced me again. "I'll have completed your clothes in about a week. or so. "Elegance and Efficiency!"

+What?+

"My motto, 'Elegance and Efficiency'. To make clothing that looks, and works well. Why can't you be a fashionable thief as well as a great one?"

+I guess you have a point.+ I couldn't think of anything wrong with that.

"Good. Now if you can excuse me, I must go gather fabrics." Armani turned and walked out into the front half of her store.

Ok. I turned my attention to Trist, who was still laughing to death while also rolling on the floor.

"Hahahaha! Small *inhale* genitals! HaHaHA!!!"

"Oh, and Phantom." Armani called to me again. I looked up to her to see her poking her head into the room again. "Be sure to put on your clothes before you go, I believe you have a nudity taboo?" My eyes shot open as I looked down to see myself in full glory still. Blood rushed to my face as I realized that I was still nude. As I made my way to my white shirt and black loose pants, i swore I heard the beat of bat wings and a whistle.

\\

After I got myself changed, and Trist finally stopped laughing. We left Snips & Stitches and headed to Smith's forge. "*snort* Small" Trist snickered quietly as we stepped into the street.

Oh just let it go already. I rolled my eyes and stomped with my crude sandles.

As we walked down the street, I glanced at the common griffins. I saw a group of griffin children flying around, tossing a ball to and fro. I looked at the other shops on the road. I saw groceries, clothing stores, restaurants, and . . . weapons stores. Even though seeing a store sell war axes and broadswords in plain sight was odd, what caught my eye was a pet shop. A human pet shop.

I looked inside to see families of griffins look at different humans in metal cages. I knew that other than me, humans in this world were pretty much animals. Like a dog. Well, yeah something like a dog. Watching the shop, I just felt as if that was wrong. I was relieved went the shop was out of sight.

Once we arrived at Smith's forge I saw that there were people sitting at the benches and a griffin pasted us with a sharp ax. Most of the space in the lobby was taken up by a giant bundle of swords laying on a tarp. Next to the bundle were two griffins One was holding a sword and wearing a mixture of leather and metal armor, and the other held a clipboard and wore a smithy's apron just like Smith's. As we walked closer we over heard what they was talking about. "Okay," The female griffin, from how her voice sounded, holding the clipboard said. "that's fifty short swords . Just like you ordered." The armored griffin placed the sword he was holding down on the bundle.

"Thank you, these swords look perfect." He kneeled and wrapped the swords in a tarp. "The Higon Mercenaries appreciate this."

"Thanks for the business." The aproned griffin thanked him. He bowed to her and walked past us without a second look. The griffin with the clipboard looked at us. "You Tristana?"

"Yeah, but how did you-" Trist asked back.

"Smith said to just go and meet him at his forge." She pointed at the door which led to the forges. "Just head on in." She walked over to the counter and began taking the customer's orders.

We opened the door and I once again felt the difference in temperature, this time it felt like we just entered the inside of a volcano. Unlike last time, most of the furnaces were on this time and had two griffins or ponies working at each station. As we pasted the stations and headed for Smith, I glanced at what they were making.

One station was making what looked like a long sword. Another looked like they were making pieces of armor. And strangely enough, one was making what looked like metallic tubes. What could someone use metal tubes for? Water pipes? We moved on until we reached Smith's work area.

When we saw him he was hunched over on his worktable, tampering with a dark piece of metal. My foot accidentally kicked a pair of tongs, making a whole bunch of noise. Smith stopped his work and spun around. "Tristana, Phantom. Welcome." He politely said in his deep voice. "You need something?"

I pulled out my notepad and began scribbling. +I'd like to ask you about weapons.+ Smith looked at me.

"Ah, right. You would have to defend yourself with something I guess. Would you like to learn swordsmanship? Although it may be a bit different, considering griffins are taught to fight with a sword held in their mouth when they aren't flying."

I thought back to when I had used a sword before and perished the though of it. +Um, I don't think I'm the sword type. Too. . . heavy? Knives would be better.+

"Light-weight, huh. I'll see to it then." Smith wrote a note onto a scroll. "Even if you do not want to wield a sword. You must train in all types of weapons. In case your preferred weapon is not available. Anything else?"

"I'd like a sword as well, and some lessons too." Trist spoke up, floating in the air using her wings. "I only learned how to use a bow to hunt. My father never taught me to fight someone head on." Smith looked Trist up and down before walking over to a group of weapon-filled barrels and looking through it. After rummaging through the barrel, he pulled out a sword; sheathed and with a strap. It didn't look elaborate or ornate, just a common short-sword He tossed it to Trist and she barely caught it.

"See how that one fits." Trist pulled the sword out and took some test-swings.

"It isn't too heavy." She commented. "Seems alright." She slid the sword back into its sheathe. "I guess that's it, right?" I was about to nod in agreement with her, but stopped as I remembered another piece of equipment I was missing.

+Do you have any harnesses? Like one that could hold potions, knives and small bags?+ I hastily scribbled on my notepad and showed it to Smith.

"I don't believe I do. I only have ones that hold large weapons. But I think Joker may have a cavalry sword harness that I could have a leather-worker alter." Smith sat back down on his stool. "Go see if Joker will give it to you. " I make an 'OK' sign with my hand. Trist turned to walk to the exit. Immediately after she turned I flipped my notepad to a pre-written page, ripped it out and gave it to Smith. He glanced at it, and gave me a silent "yes".

I reached into my bag and pulled out the crude-cut shiv I had stolen from that griffin years ago. It's alabaster blade was about five inches long. I handed it to Smith. +Thanks.+ I turned and caught up to Trist at the exit. We then went on towards The Eiien to talk to Joker.

\\

"Um, excuse me?" Trist spoke to a passing griffin waitress. The waitress, who had a name tag on that said "Jessie", stopped.

"Yes?" She responded while balancing a tray of drinks in her other claw.

"Is Joker here?"

"Yes, he is upstairs signing papers. You can head on up." She went on to serve a table their drinks. We walked to the door that led to the stairs. I glanced at the paintings again. As we reached the top and opened the door we heard Joker yell.

"I'm doing the papers Elise! don't worry!" We looked to see joker sitting behind his desk, and a few stacks of papers. He looked up from the papers to see that it was just Trist and me and sighed. "Oh, its just you guys." He relaxed in his chair and pulled out a magazine titled 'PlayGrif'. "Whatcha need?"

"We were at Smith's doing some business. But then Phantom remembered that he lost his harness and Smith said you might have a harness?" Trist explained why we were here.

"Oh," He closed his PlayGrif magazine and got up from his seat. He was wearing a white button-down shirt. "yeah, I might have something. Just a sec." He walked over to a door.

Hey, that's the door I was about to look in. Before he stopped me. . . What's in there?. I walked up behind him and He opened the door to reveal a walk-in closest full of cardboard boxes. "I think it's somewhere in here." Joker searched through the closest. "Elise recently cleaned, so I might not know where- oh hey!" He popped out of the closest with a hat on." I found my old fedora!"

"Hmm, tacky." Trist commented, taking seat on the couch.

"What would you know." Joker, placed his fedora on a table and went back into the closest. I walked over to the hat and placed it on. I looked at myself in the mirror on the wall.

Hmm, not bad.

"You look stupid." Trist judged. I shrugged and took the fedora off.

"Hey." Joker said from inside the closet.

"What is it?"

Joker walked out with a wooden guitar on his back. "Found my guitar. I'm finding tons of stuff. Why haven't I looked through here before?"

+Cause you're lazy?+ I wrote.

"Yeah," He chuckled, "you're right."

+Hey, can you teach me how to play the guitar?+

"Why?" I shrugged. Joker scratched his head. "Maybe. I haven't played in a while." He leaned the guitar on the wall and once again walked into the closet. "I'm just going to start throwing things out okay? It'll be faster." Before we could even respond Joker began throwing junk out of the closet.

Whoa! Was that a sword?! Ah! I yelped as a bunch of scrolls smacked me in the face. I lifted my hands to block anything else coming at me. As I lifted my hands though, a spray can landed in my hands. What is this? I looked at the can. It was green and had a clown's face on it. I threw it behind me.

"Ah! Finally I found it." Joker exited the closet with a leather harness. "Here." Here tossed it at me. "It used to hold my Calvary sword. It should go from your left shoulder to your right hip when you put it on."

I slid the strap over my head and made sure that it went from my shoulder to my hip. Hmm. I pulled at the strap at my hip; it extended a full fist away from my body. A bit too big.

"Hmm, a bit too big for you. but Smith can probably adjust it for you." Smith shrugged the problem off and picked up his magazine. He hopped onto the couch and laid himself out. "Ahhh."

I turned my head as I thought I heard the stomping of feet. Who's that? My question met its answer as a griffin wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses barged into the room.

"Norman!" She yelled. Joker, shocked and surprised, fell off the couch.

"E-E-Elise! I was just-" Joker picked himself up and began to stutter. Elise stomped over to him and picked up his magazine.

"Just slacking off again!" She rolled up the magazine and began tapping it on her other claw. "Honestly," she sighed, "you need to take responsibility. You're the owner of the bar! Without me this place probably wouldn't last a day!" She huffed.

"So true, Elise." Joker scooted over to his chair and desk. "That's why I need you here."

"Yeah, yeah. Now read!" She smacked the desk.

Trist stood still, speechless as I was. "Uh." Elise turned and seemed to just now notice us.

"Oh, Tristana and Phantom. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I am Elise Deniford, I work here as head hostess and manager." She bowed. "But I'm going to have to have you leave now. Norman has a lot of paperwork he has to do. I will show you out."

"No, we're fine. We can show ourselves out." Trist spoke up. Elise paused where she was before conceding. She then turned to Joker again and began nagging him about doing his work.

Trist and I made our way down to the bar and made our way straight outside. ~So back to Smith's place?~ I wondered.

"Mm no, we'll drop off the harness on the way." Trist started walking without me. I hurried up to her and kept in stride with her.

~On the way?~ Trist stopped walking.

"Yeah on the way. I'm hungry." I shook my head as we continued back to Smith's forge.