Your Human and You: The Thief

by Awkward Elipsis

Chapter 6 - Meet'n the Neighbors

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CLANG CLANG BONG BONG

What the hell is that noise!? I had been woken up by a loud series of clanking and banging from outside my room. I tried to block it out by covering my head with my pillow and curling up into a ball.

ZZZZOOOOMMM RATAATATAA

Holy Crap! Make it STOP!

BOOM

I sprang up into a sitting position and turned to the door leading to the main storage area. What was that explosion? I pushed my pillow off the the side of my bed, quickly put on my shirt, and ran for the main area.

Entering the main room I leaned over the railing that lined the catwalk of the main area. Looking off at one side of the area, smoke was fuming out of a side room. What the heck is going on over there?! I started to run towards the room, but skidded to a stop in front of Trist's room. Why hasn't Trist woken up yet? I grabbed the door handle and peeked inside the room to see a sleeping figure in the bed. Is she still sleeping?! Through this!? HOW!??! I closed the door and ran towards the smoke.

By the time I reached the smoke, it had already began to dissipate. I peered into the room, but could see through the smoke. What is going on in here? I crouched and made my way inside the room. I accidentally inhaled some smoke and coughed profusely.Oh geez. I continued to cough What's in here? I was slowly making my way until a claw grabbed my shoulder. I Yelped in surprise and spun around.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Phantom its me, Sawyer." I opened my eyes to see the silhouette of a familiar skinny griffin. "Hold on, let me- *cough* get rid of all this smoke." The silhouette pulled something out of his pouch. I heard a click, and the sounds of fans turning on. Slowly, the smoke began clearing out and I could start to see the soot covered face of Sawyer. He was wearing his goggles over his eyes. "Ah, that's much better." He put a remote back in a side pouch and slid his goggle up on top his head. The soot had created two circles around his eyes where the goggles protected his eyes. "Sorry, I forgot I had new roommates. Did i wake you?"

~Yeah, It was so loud. And what was that explosion?~ I signed. Sawyer looked around until his eyes spotted another half-built machine.

"I was working on this, and it happened to blow up. In my face. . ." He said placing a claw on the machine. I stared at the machine. It looked like a bunch of parts from other machines randomly put together. At least from what I saw.

~Well what is it?~ I asked.

"Well, I actually don't know."

~What do you mean you don't know?~

"This is my room where I take scraps and extra parts and randomly place them together to see what happens." I glanced around the room to see shelves of smaller random trinkets and a big pile of scraps in a corner.

~Well no wonder it blew up in your face!~

"Yeah, I guess so." Sawyer rubbed the back of his head in defeat. His face froze and he moved his hand back in front of him to see that soot covered his hand. "But!" He took a handkerchief from his pack and cleaned his claw. "I have gotten a few pretty interesting inventions from this method though!" He moved over to the shelf and grabbed, from a glance, a ball. He walked back over to me and handed me the ball.

Spinning it in my hand I saw that it wasn't a full ball. It had a string in the middle and two metal circles on either side. ~What is it?~ I handed it back to Sawyer.

"I. . ." I took the metal ball, "Don't have a name for it."

~Then what's it for? What can it do?~ Sawyer was silent for a second.

"It can do this." He took an end of the string and tied it to his finger. He grasped the ball and flung it at me. Not expecting him to throw something at me I leaned back and swung my arms in front of me to block the ball. But just as the ball was about to hit me in the face, it stopped. Next thing I knew I was flailing at nothing as the ball went back to Sawyer's hand and I fell onto the floor. I looked at him with a crazed and confused look.

~What was that?!~ Sawyer chuckled.

"Sorry, but that's what this does."

~What, scare people?~ I retorted as I picked myself up off of the floor.

"No, no. it goes back and forth, see?" Sawyer threw the ball out again, except this time at the ground and continued to do it. I watched as the ball went up and down.

~So that's all it does?~ Sawyer stopped playing with the ball and looked at me, then back to the ball.

"Uh, I guess so." He flapped his wings to put the ball back on the shelf. "Well, I think this is enough looking around." He walked to the door leading to the main area. "Can you go wake up Trist and tell her that we'll be going out in," Sawyer looked at the wall to see a clock. "About an hour and a half from now."

~Why?~

Sawyer just turned and smiled. "Why? To meet your new neighbors."

\\

"Ha! So it blew up in his face?! Oh wow, I wish I could have seen that." Trist laughed as we walked out of Sawyer's "house" and out into the alleyway.

"Yeah, very funny." He used a key and locked the door behind us. "They only blow up occasionally. Today just happens to be one of those days." Sawyer turned and walked towards the street. Without questioning it, we followed him. Once we were out in the open I went into a semi-daydream state that made me look like an average human, but I was able to still sign and listen. After all, there were lots of humans walking next to their owners. No one would notice another.

"Are we going to somewhere to eat?" Trist asked. "I just woke up, and we technically didn't eat dinner last night."

"First, we have to stop by Madam Armani's place. We have to get there before she opens her shop."

"What does Armani do anyway? I saw her before, but you never told me anything."

"Well," Sawyer began, "First off you got to learn about our group." We stopped at a crossing as traffic went by. "Our group is named, 'Back Street'. It was named this because most of the group are store owners that were unhappy with the way things were for their businesses. So, they took up a side business. A member could own a furniture store in the front, but have an illegal human fighting arena in their basement." Sawyer leaned in and whispered, "Not that I'm saying we have those." He straightened himself and we crossed the road. "Madam Armani owns Snips and Stitches, a clothing store." We made a left turn and Sawyer pointed at a store with a sign poking out with a pair of scissors and a sewing needle. "Right there."

We reached the store and I saw that it had a showcase in the front so passersby could see the clothing sold here. Behind the glass I could see clothes for griffins, ponies, and human. In the glass portion of the front door, there was a sign that read 'Sorry, We're Closed'. Sawyer ignored the sign and proceeded to knock on the door. "Madam Armani! It's Sawyer!"

There was a moment of silence and just before Sawyer was about to knock again, someone answered. "I'm on my way. Just a moment dear."

Hmm, she has a strange accent. I thought to myself upon hearing Armani speak. The door opened and from the looks of it, a scarlet maned, whitish coated horse with an image near her butt. Is that a horse? No, its kinda small. A pony? I leaned my head and took a closer look at her side. The image appeared to be a spool of thread and a sewing needle.

"Good morning Doctor. I see you have brought Tristana and her human." Armani greeted us. "It is a pleasure to meet you again Miss Tristana." She bowed and gestured for us to come inside. Armani led us through her shop. As we passed through the store I saw that the shop was separated into four sections: Griffin clothing, Pony clothing, Human Clothing, and a section of fitting rooms. A poke to my side knocked me out of my thoughts. I looked down to see Trist.

"Sorry we forgot to tell you that Madam Armani was a unicorn before." Trist whispered. "I forgot that you didn't know that."

"Miss Tristana, are you speaking with your human?" I stopped and looked up to see Madam Armani and Sawyer looking back at us.

Trist began to panic. "What?! No. Psssh. Why would I be talking to my human, he can't understand me." Madam Armani look at Tristana panicking and chuckled quietly.

"Miss Tristana. I already know of your human's sapience."

"You do?!"

She does?!

"Yes, I used to be a nurse. That is how I was able to patch him up and how I knew he was different from an ordinary human." She said. "His body temperature was too high for an average human, so I knew at least that." Trist and I were frozen in shock at how she easily deducted that.

"Ok, ok, we must be moving on. Madam Armani, I'm showing them around the Back Street, so if you could kindly show us to the back.." Sawyer cut into the moment.

"Ah, I see. Then let us make this fast." She turned to us. "I am Madam Armani Jeane. Yes, I am a unicorn pony. I moved here after a long, stressful time in Equestria. After arriving here, I opened my own store selling griffin, pony, and human clothing. But the Griffon Kingdom is not the same as Equestria. The government would tax me too much, and I could not make enough to survive." She dramatically put a hoof to her head in helplessness. "But then, dear Norman came to me with a solution. Join the Back Street. Once I did join, I created my back business, one that the government did not know about."

"I was thinking, that you could ask Madam Armani to make a new outfit for Phantom." Sawyer explained.

~Why would I need a new outfit?~ I signed.

"Because Phantom, you're in the capitol of the Griffon Kingdom. The security of this city will require you to have new and improved equipment if you wish to continue."

"Excuse me, if you two do not mind." Armani cut into the conversation. "But are you using sign language to speak with us?" I nodded. "I see. Well this is quite troublesome, seeing as Sawyer is actually the only one of the Back Street that actually knows sign language."

I tilted my head at the thought that not everyone could understand sign language. I guess I had just been lucky that Sawyer knew it. But how else could I talk to everyone? "Maybe someone could be an intermediary." Sawyer proposed. "They could speak what he was signing for anyone who doesn't know sign language."

~Wouldn't that take too long? And be very tedious?~

"Yes, I see your point." Sawyer pondered.

"What did he say?" Armani curiously asked.

"He said it would too much of a hassle for someone to repeat everything he signs." Trist explained.

"Ah that makes sense." Armani paused to think of something. "Can he write?"

"I never really asked." Trist turned to me "Can you?" I nodded, saying that I could.

"Then couldn't he just write out what he wanted to say? As long as everyone knows how to read, anyone could understand him."

"I guess that could work." Sawyer dug into his bags, coming back with a piece of coal and a notepad. "Here." I took the notepad and coal.

~Coal? Why not a pencil?~ I asked.

"A, pencil?"

~You know, a piece of lead in the middle of a cylinder of wood.~

"Lead? Hmm, interesting. I'll look into it, but for now just use the coal." I pouted before scribbling onto the notepad.

+Fine+

"Very good, now. Let us continue." Armani opened the door in the back and we entered a hallway. There were two doors, one at the end of the hall and one that looked like it led back outside. As we were reaching a door I asked a question.

+So where are we going?+

"We're going to see my Back Street job."

+Back Street job?+ Armani just smiled and opened the door. The door opened to a staircase lit with red lanterns. We made our way down the stairs single file. Once we reached the door, the handle glowed a red hue and the door opened. Behind the door greatly contrasted from the bland wooden walls of the hall. The door opened to an impressive room. The walls were velvet and the floor was red carpet, both lined with gold designs. There was a counter and a set of double doors. Behind the counter were another set of stairs going further down.

"Welcome to Votre Plaisir Cache." Armani said with her accent coming back out..

"What?" Trist asked.

"Ah, my bad. My parents were from Prance." Armani apologized. "It means, Your Hidden Pleasure."

+What is this place+ I looked up at the glass chandelier hanging in the middle of the room.

"A brothel." Armani calmly answered. I paused in silence.

+A brothel?+

"Yes, a brothel. A place where someone can go to find prostitutes." Sawyer explained. I rolled my eyes.

+I know what a brothel is.+ I flipped the page and continued writing. +I meant why would you have a brothel?+ Armani looked at me with a neutral look.

"I did not begin this with the idea of selling people for another's pleasure." She began to explain. "I began this to help those who have nowhere else to turn. Those were homeless. Whether they were griffin, pony, or human."

"You have human prostitutes?!" Trist blurted out. Trist noticed what she had said and covered her mouth. "Sorry."

"Nothing is wrong Miss Tristana. You have the right to be surprised. And yes, I do own a few human prostitutes. Female, and male."

"Don't mind me asking, but who would. . . do it with a human?" Trist asked. Armani just looked to Trist with a smile.

"You would be surprised at the secrets people hide."

+Are you keeping the humans against they're will?+ Armani took the time to read my message before responding.

"Do not worry Phantom. The humans I 'employ' here are by they're own will. If they do not want to, they don't have to. I also have living quarters for those who have no home." Just as Armani finished her sentence a dark figure fell onto her, however it did not make her fall. Instead the figure actually wrapped it's hooves around Armani's neck and laid it's head off the side of her neck. "Speaking of ones who live here."

"Aw, come on Arnie. You know you love me." The dark blue pony puckered her's lips and giggled. I noticed that her wings weren't like a pegasus', being leathery like a bat's instead of like a bird's. Armani sighed as she used her magic to pluck the pony off her back and place her on the floor. "Aw, no fun."

"Everyone, this is one of the ponies who willingly choose to work, and live here, Lola." Armani waved her arm to introduce the pony.

The pony in question put her hoof to her forehead, stuck her tongue out, and winked. "Hi, nice to meet you." She put her hoof back onto the floor and walked over to Sawyer. "Hey Doctor, when ya going to come over?" Lola asked.

"As I said before Lola, I am far to busy and I am not looking for temporary companionship." Sawyer replied calmly, as if he had said the same thing before. Armani tapped Lola's shoulder.

"Lola, this is Tristana, and her human Phantom."

"Phantom huh?" Lola looked at me with her golden eyes. She got up close to me and sniffed my neck. I took a step back. She huffed. "His blood smells different than a normal humans." She licked her lips. "It's more, rich smelling." Her voice seemed to get more hypnotic, more alluring with every word she said. I was broken out of my trance when a hoof hit Lola on the back of her head. "Ow." Lola rubbed her head. She looked to Armani with a pout. "Meanie."

"Shouldn't you be going to sleep soon?"

Lola continued to pout. "Yeah, but does that mean I can't see you?"

Armani sighed and put a hoof on her forehead. "Just go downstairs and go to sleep Lola."

"Alrighty Arnie~." Lola opened her bat wings and flew over the counter and down the stairs.

"Did you clean up the rooms!" Armani remembered to ask.

"Maybe~" Lola called back. Armani just sighed again before turning to face me.

"I am sorry for Lola's behavior Phantom. She is a bat-pony, and to top it off, she is one of the rarer types that drink blood. Without drinking blood regularly she'd go into a frenzy and drink blood from the closest source."

"Then how does she get her blood?" Trist asked.

"Easy, it's her payment. In return for her services she requires a small amount of blood. While some are skeptic at first, the customers who've had her, they say it is worth it."

"Ok. . . I guess." Armani turned to look at a clock on the wall and gasped.

"Uh oh, I'm sorry but you'll have to excuse me. I have to start preparing to open Snips and Stitches."

"No problem Madam Armani." Sawyer nodded, "We have to go eat anyway."

"Ah!" Armani's eyes perked up, " Are you going to eat at Geno's?"

"Where else would we go?" Sawyer chuckled. Armani smiled.

"Well then, give Geno and Tina a good morning from me." She bowed. And Sawyer bowed in return before motioning for us to follow him back up the stairs and out of Armani's store.

"OK, now then. How's about we go and have ourselves some breakfast?"

"Finally! Let's!" Trist responded enthusiastically.

~Sure, where to?~ Sawyer smiled and began walking down the street.

\\

We continued to follow Sawyer for only about 5 minutes until we reached a store with the word "GENO'S" written large letters. Outside there were about three metal tables, two of which were filled. Windowed walls gave us a view of the inside of the restaurant. Inside booths housed families of griffins and I even saw one or two humans sitting on the floor next to their owners. As we approached the front door I noticed a small brown and white feathered griffin flying around dropping off plates of food at tables.

Sawyer pulled the door open and a bell jingled. The small griffin from before zoomed to us in response. "Hi Sawyer."

"Morning Tina, do you know where your grandfather is?" Sawyer asked. Still flying in the air the griffin pointed towards a window connecting to the kitchen.

"In the kitchen cooking with Thomas."

"Thank you Tina."

"No problem." She grinned. Tina then looked to me and Trist with curious eyes. "Are these the newcomers?"

"Yes Tina, we'll talk in the back." Sawyer told her.

"OK!" Tina zoomed away to talk another, older griffin near the counter. Sawyer walked towards a pair of double doors leading to the kitchen.

On the way on took a look at the food. I saw what looked like a sandwich with slices of steak layered with melted cheese inside. Another had a thee deck hamburger and potato fries. Another was adorned with two chili covered hot dogs. Looking at each slowly made my mouth water and my stomach growl. "It'll just be a sec Phantom." Sawyer whispered. "We have to talk to introduce you first." He opened the door to see Tina speaking with a very old griffin.

The griffin wore a kitchen apron over his graying fur and was about the same height as Sawyer, except not as skinny. This feathers were messy and were gone in some places. He nodded to Tina with a smile and Tina zipped back out to the customers. "Thomas! I got some important visitors. You run the kitchen for a bit okay?" He hollered.

"What?!" A green stallion with a chef's hat poked his head around a corner. "Again? Come on Geno!"

"Ah put a sock in it! It ain't even busy right now! Oh, and make three cheese steak sandwiches!" Geno walked towards us with a smirk. Sawyer put out his claw for a handshake, but Geno went for the bear hug and lifted him up. "Aw come on Sawyer! You know I'ma hugger!" I watched as Sawyer gasped for air from the grip of the griffin. Eventually he let Sawyer down and looked to us. "One for you guys too!" Before I could respond, the gigantic griffin grabbed hold of both Trist and me and gave us an equally tight hug.

My rib cage felt like it was going to cave any minute under his strength, I looked to Trist to see that she wasn't in a better situation. When he let us go I grabbed the closest thing to hold myself up as my lungs welcomed air back. "Sorry," Geno apologized, "Like I said, I'm a hugger."

"That's *gasp* all good and everything Geno *gasp*, but I was just showing them around *gasp* the back streets. Then get them *gasp* some food." Sawyer said in between breathes. Geno let out a loud laugh.

"I see. Then let's show ya around and then get all of ya some food." He walked through the kitchen and opened the walk-in freezer. I tried to quickly take out my notepad to ask, but Trist said it first.

"And why are we headed into the freezer?" Geno looked at Trist and just smirked.

"Well Miss, everybody's got ta hide their back street business somewhere." He said stepping into the freezer. "Mine just happens ta be where nobody can smell the gunpowder." I looked questioningly at Sawyer, who just nodded his head to enter the freezer. I sighed as we stepped into the freezer.

Once we were all inside, Geno closed the freezer door behind us. He turned and faced us. "Don't worry, it can open from the inside! Hahaha!" After he stopped laughing again, Geno walked through the hanging slabs of meat to the far right corner of the freezer and grabbed onto a handle on the floor. He pulled up and lifted a trapdoor that had a ladder going down. We filed through and entered into a torch lit room about the same size as the freezer above. However, unlike the freezer above. This room was filled with the smell of gunpowder and explosives.

I saw a familiar tiny griffin in a swivel chair. "Welcome bitches! To Casa de la BOOM!" Tina erupted with her arms in the air.

"Wha?" Trist said out of surprise. Geno patted Trist on the head.

"You have the right to be surprised." Geno said. "Tina has Split-Personality Disorder. Outside of the Back Street, she is the nice, energetic little granddaughter you saw before. But here-"

"I'm an explosives master!" Tina interrupted, punching the air.

"Second only to me."

"Not for long old man!" Tina glared at her grandfather.

"If you didn't know already what we do, we are demolitionists. I used to handle explosives in the Griffonian Military." Geno scratched his chin and smirked. "Those were the days, throwing dynamite down into those diamond dogs' tunnels. Ha!" Suddenly remembering where he was he cleared his throat. "So, we can provide you with a wide variety of bombs-"

"Smoke, flash, shrapnel, or straight up explosions!" Tina jumped in again. "We got 'em all sucka!"

"But no gas bombs. Those were banned five years ago, and for good reasons." Geno turned his head away and mumbled some about melting.

"That is pretty much the gist of what we do. If you need any type of explosives, or good food, then you can come to us." Geno got out of his chair. "Now then. Let's get you some of Geno's cheese steak sandwiches."


Author's Note

So~. . . I thought that it might be better to split the chapter into two. So that I could have a new chapter out already.

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