Monster Pony Quest!

“So, Pip, any idea as to where you’re leading us?” Luna asked, following close behind our hero

“Well, I may not be a hero, but a few days ago I heard a rumor that there were bandits in the mountains who have been robbing innocent ponies, so I thought they would be a good start.”

Pip trotted down the dirt road that connected his hometown of Celesburg, so named because of the ponies’ devotion to their princess, to Manehatten, remembering that there was a branch in the path leading to the Drakenridge mountains.

“Bandits you say? It sounds like someone is feeling tough. Did you put on your big colt panties this morning?” Luna snickered and plucked a berry from a bush they passed by, eating it.

“Says the naked mare following me, you look like somepony from that nudist colony; Ponyville.”

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it, as I always say!” replied Luna, shaking her flank playfully then catching back up to Pip

The pair finally arrived at the fork in the road, where there was a wooden sign pointing left for Manehatten, and right for the mountain range.

“Well that was a short trip, wasn’t it Luna?.....Luna?” Pip asked, turning around and seeing that Luna had mysteriously disappeared. But Pip didn’t have too much time to worry, as an arrow flew past him and hit the sign, sticking into it.

“Hehe, what’s a little colt like yourself doing on the road alone?” asked the mysterious figure in the tree before jumping out and landing on the ground. “Didn’t your mommy teach you that it’s dangerous to travel alone?”

Pip held out his sword to be safe, looking at the pony wearing a hooded green tunic and holding a bow. The figure pulled back her hood and revealed….she was a changeling!

“Changelings can use bows now? Are you one of the bandits!?” Pip yelled to the changeling

“Bandit? What is a bandit? I’m just the lucky mare who’s going to be dragging you back to the hive. Don’t worry though, I’ll be sure to share you!” the changeling said, firing another arrow. Pip dodged it, and countered by swinging his sword at the mare’s legs; but she jumped back up onto the tree limb.

“Sheesh you're slow, first time playing with your sword, little colt?” she asked, mocking him, while tanding up on the tree limb, drawing back her bow and taking aim. Pip wasn’t sure what to do, so he gave the tree a buck as hard as he could, knocking the changeling off balance

“Hey, cut that out, ya runt! You’ll make me- woah!” the changeling flailed her hooves before falling out of the tree and hitting her head, getting knocked out cold

“Another job well done, let’s hear it for the great hero, Pip!” he said to himself, imagining a crowd praising him, but unlike last time, Luna wasn’t here to ruin the mood. He looked around for her, but gave up quickly. “Eh, she was more of a nuisance than anything.”
Pip continued trotting down the path towards the mountains, and as the changeling disappeared behind the hill he crossed over, an acorn hit Pip on the head

“Ouch, what the hay?” he said, looking up in the tree and seeing Luna.

“Where did you go? That changeling could have really hurt me!”

“Lighten up, silly. I went back to that bush to collect some berrie; they were really good! Besides, you seem to be ok. ” She said, hopping out of the tree and standing by Pip once again.

“Well I wish you’d have warned me, I was worried for a moment.”

“I’m kind of surprised, you managed to not get raped by the first changeling you came across in the forest” Luna said, messing up Pip's mane.

Pip glared at her, and quietly kept making his way up the mountains, hoping to find a trace of the bandits that were rumored to live around here.

“Can we go back, my hooves hurt!” Luna whined, just to annoy Pip

“You have wings, you can always fly….”

“Oh, right!”

Luna flapped her wings and flew upwards a little, and in the distance, she saw the entrance to a cave
“Hmm, something tells me that if you take a right, you’ll find them”

“Why do you say that?” Pip asked, looking up at the aerial princess

“Just my lady’s intuition. We are cool like that.”

Pip took a right, and walked into the forest, coming out on the other side near a cave with a campfire deep inside of it.

“I think I see one inside, Luna. I’m sure if we work together, we can take care of this little bandit problem.”

“We? Don’t include me in this fight; I’m just a spectator, Mr. Hero," Luna said, sitting in a tree to watch the action that was sure to unfold

Pip drew his sword and walked into the entrance of the cave, feeling like the main pony from a popular video game, “Dragons Lair”.
Pip the Daring, that’s what they’ll call me after this! he thought in his head, going deeper into the cave, then turning around, seeing four young fillies blocking his exit

“ ’Ey Babs, it looks like we found ourselves ‘nother sucker.” said the small, yellow earth pony wielding a huge hammer

“That we do, ‘sis. You’s fellas never learn, do ya’s?” said the filly named Babs, picking a toothpick at her set of fake vampire fangs while wearing a black and red cape “ ‘Ey Scoots, what you reckon we should do with ‘em?”

“Well, he doesn’t look too rich; we could hold him for ransom!” said the orange Pegasus, wearing a red scarf over her face and holding a rubber knife. “Unless you got a better idea, Belle’s?”

“Nope, I think we could get a good ransom from him. We might even get our cutie marks for this!” exclaimed the white unicorn filly, wearing a purple and green dragon suit

“Cutie Mark Crusaders, bandit cutie marks!” they all yelled in unison, before the yellow filly stepped forward first

“Mah names Apple Bloom, but ah go by Mallet Bloom now!” she said, holding up her giant hammer and getting ready to swing it.

“Just stay right there for a moment!”

Pip stepped to the side as Apple Bloom swung her hammer, missing; the weight of the mallet flinging her across the cave and landing against the opposite wall; little stars appearing over her head.

“Ah think yer up, Babs!”

“A’ight, sis. Surely you’s aint gonna be no match for me!” she said, holding her cape over her eyes to prepare something
“Just stand right there, you won’t be able ta do nothin’!”

Babs lowered her cape and gave him a vicious death stare that would have paralyzed anypony looking directly at it, but luckily for Pip, he put a hoof infront of his face

“That….that was all I had…. Scoots, you’s up!”

Babs ran over to help Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo stood in her place, beginning to squawk like an annoying bird. This technique had worked time and time again by annoying her prey into submission

“Sweet Celestia’s hoof, you’re so annoying!” Pip yelled, and tossed a pebble at Scootaloo, making her run away like a chicken

“B’kawk! We’ve worn him down, finish him off, Sweetie!”

Sweetie Belle stepped forward in her dragon suit, giving Pip an intimidating roar.

“Rawr, I’m a horrifying dragon! Surrender or I will devour you!”

"Surely you must be kidding?” Pip asked, but quickly gasped and rolled out of the way as Sweetie Belle sent a wall of flame his way using her magic, it scorching the wall behind where he was standing

“I…I think I’m feeling light headed…” said Sweetie, holding her head and passing out, having used all her energy in that attack

“Is that it? Are you four the bandits that have been robbing dozens of innocent ponies?”

Pip walked over to the four bandits who were huddled together in the corner, surprised at how these fillies could have been any threat at all unless somepony was really, really dumb.

“Yes, we’s are…but you’s gotta have some mercy, we just want to earn our cutie mark so badly!” said Babs, begging Pip

“Yeah…all our friends make fun ah us at school…so we reckoned we would find our special talents out here.”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were passed out beside the other two. Pip sighed

“You little fillies aren't bandits….and you arent bad ponies either; you just need to learn some patience…you’ll all find your special gift someday, but this isn’t the way. I’ll spare you, but you have to promise to go back to town and ask the townsponies for forgiveness, okay?”

Babs, the apparent leader of the group, nodded and sobbed softly, helping her friends make it back into town, and solving the bandit problem, Pip hoped.

“I must say, I’m impressed, Pip” Luna said, joining him in the cave

“I never thought I’d hear you say-“

“You managed to win in a fight against 4 blank flank fillies in Halloween costumes” she cut him off.

“Well when you say it like that, you make me feel like a jerk,” Pip replied, lowering his head

“Don’t feel like that, you just might have converted them from a life of incompetent crime attempts.”

“Thanks, I suppose, Luna. But it’s getting dark; I think it’s best if we make camp in this cave.” Pip said, putting another log on the camp fire that the bandits had made

“Indeed, I can only imagine how you’d fare against a changeling in the dark” Luna said as she stretched and lay down on a makeshift bed

“Wait, where am I going to sleep?” Pip looked around the cave, not seeing another bed

“Well, theres plenty of room here, if you’re willing to share a bed with a mare. Though you attacked the last two who offered you that opportunity.” Luna scooted over in the large bed, and Pip cautiously joined her, laying his head on the pillow.

“I suppose it’s better than sleeping on the ground”

Pip slowly fell asleep, worn out from his first day of adventuring, and resting peacefully. Luna grinned and brushed his mane once, making sure not to disturb him

“Yes, yes it is.” She whispered to herself, her green eyes glowing slightly brighter than normal before she too fell asleep.