Legal Notice: I do NOT own any music or songs or what the hell ever mentioned in this story. Nor do I own My Little Pony under Hasbro jurisdiction at the time of written-ness.

Advisory Notice: Shit's gonna happen. By that I mean - The world of Equestria may or may not come into contact with our hero until the 2nd or third chapter. שלום.

"Mate, is that everything?" I say. There HAS to be something I'm missing.

"I don't know - YOU are the only one going this time since you got back." Kyle says as he flops back into his worn out section on the couch.

"Is the Rifle in there?" I ask Kyle grunts a noise I can only suspect to be 'Yeah'. "What about all of my ammo? And the Webley?"

"Yeah, I got all of you're junk in the bag." He replies as he rolls onto the floor before hopping up and tossing a seabag through my door.

"What the hell mate?!" I shout. "What've I told ya 'bout throwing my stuff around?!" I continue as I start to change into my more 'durable' clothing.

I come out of my abode in a pair of faded blue jeans and black combat boots, a white short sleeve white under a olive jacket

"Whatta 'bout your good luck charm?" Kyle calls from the den.

"Forgot about that," I announce as I rush back into my room to grab the only thing I didn't get while I was in the military - a novelty NCR 1st Recon Beret and flash - that my sister got me when we found out I was accepted into the 1st recon of the USMC. I made it to 2nd Lieutenant before I was discharged on account of taking 2 grenades and several rounds of ammunition to my left arm and right leg.

"You taking the jeep or what?" Kyle calls from the kitchen where we keep all of our keys. Kyle is a long time friend and ally, we met in Ft. Lauderdale while on leave a couple of years back. He was the one who ended up driving us back to the airport due to alcohol to blood ratio in my system.

"I was thinking the 'cycle if you would be so kind." I say as I walk past the gargantuan of a man, the oddest combination of Greek and Spaniard if there ever was one, tossing me the keys to an Indian 'Chief' motorcycle while digging around in the cabinets. I hoist the seabag of gear off the floor and onto my back, being weighed down by the massive amounts of 7.62mm and .455 ammo in the bag, and walked out the door calling to Kyle, "I'll be back within the end of next week!"

"Take Notes!" Kyle hoarsely shouts - obvious that he had begun a new bottle of Absinthe.

I drop my seabag into the right saddle bag of the red motorcycle and reach into the left feeling around for a switch. I flip it once I find it and hear the various noises raising from the re-purposed 'Bag-o-Phone' I got at a MP Surplus outlet store in America. I start up the motorcycle and head out to the town we live just outside of, Wirrawee, a small town that has a very, i guess the only polite way of saying it is that it's got a frontier feel to it. All of the stores close to one another near the north of the town more and more house the further south you go.

"This day looks like it might rain, damnit, wasn't prepared for that. hopefully I'll get to the treeline before it rains." I muse to myself out loud as I turn onto the main road that runs though the entirety of the boondocks. I fumble around for my iPod in the right saddlebag cursing loudly as I nicked my finger on my AU Parry Blade Serrated on one side and Razor sharp on the other of this 9 inch blade. I pull the iPod out and hook it up to the speaker in the left saddlebag and hit play to first song I found.

I barrel down the strait-away due to the lack of cars seeing it as being a normal day in this two-bit town I call home. The song comes to a close and I can't help but shake the feeling of…oddness…is one way of putting it I guess.

I soon pulled into the main town area where other drivers were few and far between. I decided to turn off into one of my favorite greasy spoon shoppes in town it was a diner, and I mean a real diner too, one of those that's all red and chrome and stuff. This early in the morning means that there shouldn't be many people here, well aside from the residential living relics that come here at 6:00 am and leave at 6:00 pm. I waltz in after parking my bike under a thick old oak tree look around to see that my original hypothesis was correct. Almost no-one here, well Lloyd and Floyd were at the far side of the diner drinking their coffee and they absentmindedly wave as I come in.

"Knives, If that's you go ahead and sit at the booth you're usually at." A feminine voice calls from the back. " And if so, please take that damn gun out and onto the table- you know the policy." she continues.

"Fine, fine," I reply, forgetting that earlier I had loaded the Webley and shoved it into the old leather holster under my armpit, "And stop calling me Knives!"

"I will when every time you get bored you stop chucking our steak knives into the ceiling!" She shouted back."We need those and we can't use them if you've got 'em stuck to the air ducts, fan blades, and walls!"

"Fine, Since when were you the boss? huh? Cass?" I ask sarcastically as I started flipping through the menu even though I know what I'm going to get.

"When Twilight Sparkle understands 'Pinkie-Sense'"She replies as she's walking through the kitchen door with a mub and coffee pot in hand.

"When- wait…What?" I stutter trying not to spill the coffee she just poured into my mug.

"It means never." She replies with a huff. She soon starts to take down what I'm pointing at on the menu and she walks back into the kitchen. Cass is the only person aside from Kyle that's not from this town, she is an American-Belarusian chick with two-tone auburn and black hair with a tomboyish attitude. Which often lands her in trouble with the upperclassmen of the area, mainly ending up with her at the police station for breaking a kid's nose who tried to cop a feel. Something I am completely afraid of…Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

"Here's your stuff." She says as she slides into my booth across from me. "What are you planning on doing this weekend?" She asks nonchalantly.

"I am NOT going on another pity date for your friends, is one of them." I say as I bite into my fried egg. "I'm going into the bush for a week."

"I wasn't going to ask you for another pity date for them-" she starts off.

"Nor am I going on a date with you, at least not this weekend. I've got plans" I interrupted her. Cass is an odd sort, the only people she willingly hangs out with is me, Kyle, Lloyd, Floyd, and a policeman we grew up with named Frank Mossey, we call him Moses just to mess with him.

"Oh, phoo. You're no fun." She carries on. "You don't know how to have fun."

"Yes, yes I do." I add, "What was that thing you were talking about earlier?" I continue. "I mean the one about 'Twilight Sparkle' and 'Pinkie-Sense'."

"Oh, that is just a show I've gotten into. It's called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." She answers, "I found out about it from one of the kids at my other job at the daycare. They just about drug me down the stairs to get me to watch it."

"Mia Liffle pawneh?" I ask with a mouthful of toast. "Ahem. I mean, My Little Pony? Isn't that the toy franchise from the 80's?" I corrected after swallowing the toast.

"Yeah but it got a reboot." She said with her forehead to the table. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" she asks sternly.

"Uhh.... yeah." I quickly threw down the correct amount of money due to sheer repetition of the order and bolted out the door.

That conversation could've gone A LOT better. I mused as I kicked on the gas for the motorcycle. I turned off of the parking lot to come to a SHOCKING discovery. A sight I haven't seen in a while in this town.

God damn traffic, the ONE day I go on the road and BAM traffic for miles. I only need to drive for about 2 miles from where I'm at to get out of this two-bit town.I thought, Wirrawee is a small town, settled by sheep farmers long ago, it has evolved from a town in the middle of nowhere to a town in the middle of nowhere and a bit to the left. Good god. It's a good hing I know how to pass the time. I reach down into the left saddle bag where I set up a police scanner and CB radio.

"HEY! MOLDOVA SUCKS!" I shout into the CB waiting for a response, chuckling to myself all the while.

"What the Hell?!" Someone shouts over the crackle of the radio, "Who is that?"

"I know who, Goddamnit, Sydney!" A gruff voice crackles over the static. "I thought I told you to stay off of this channel! What do you want anyway?!"

"Hullo Mister Moses! Nice to see you remember the name I don't want you to call me!" I announce back over the radio.

"Yeah, right. You do this crap enough we have given you your own filing cabinet we've labeled as RADIO: SIX-SHOOTER SYDNEY at the station." Moses calls back to me over the crackle.

"You police and your damnable alliterations!" I goad him. "I want to know why the traffic is backed up between here, there, back again!" I call over the rising static.

"Someone decided to have a pool party in the middle of the street! Why do you think? It's Monsoon season for Christ's sake!" Moses bellows over the snickering of what I can only tell to be that guy from before.

"Yeah, yeah. I was wondering if You could impound my bike until Kyle or Cass comes to pick it up?" I ask sheepishly.

"Why in the blue hell would you want to do that?" The other guy states, sniggering still in his voice.

"Yeah, I guess I could, Will the 'bail' money be in the same place?" Moses asks, finally done shouting. "I still need that for them to come pick it up."

"What the-" The other guy stammered.

"Who is that guy anyway? He has been interrupting this entire time." I state, slowly growing agitated.

"For all I care his name is John-" Moses began.

"JAMES!" he shouted over the speaker.

"Right, what ever you say Private Pansy," I retort, slightly sniggering about his outburst.

"I'm ending this call line. Pansy- stop eavesdropping." Moses started, "Where will we find your bike?"

"I'll park it in front of the Catholic church on Rivendale Boulevard." I answer.

"Roger Wilco." He says just before the line goes dead.

Certainly one of the more interesting talks I've had with him to say the least. I think as I pull into Rivendale Catholic Church. He knows where the church is, Moses isn't that ignorant. I thought while unloading my seabag of junk and ammo. before walking down the trail to Ranger station up the road marking the end of civilization for 231 Kilometres. That will be my starting point.

Author's Note

Yes, Well...new story. Hmmm, not sure how it will be received. That's because of the amount of "human goes to equestria with firearms" stories out there is rising at a constant rate.
Mine's a bit different, Fuck waking up in the Everfree or outside of Ponyville. We're going a bit south for that, into Equstria's version of Australia, or as they know it - the Badlands
~~~~~~~
As for you, yes you, the reader, what do you like, not like, what should I change, how can I be better? Criticism is helpful, hate without giving me a reason is not
Bis später, Sawbones.