Pretzel Filly

by begarino

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Spike, Comedy, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2198

Twilight tells the story of pretzels and books

Twilight gets a rejection letter from Princess Celestia to purchase a new book. This reminds her of a past story of her days as a filly when she tried to purchase another book but was not able to.

Published 2014-02-16 16:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-16 16:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

A curl of smoke from Spike’s mouth signalled the arrival of a new missive from the Princess of the Sun. Twilight’s eyes widened in excitement, usually even Princess Celestia took some time to approve to a request so large.

"Dearest Twilight," the message went, "I have reviewed the current expenditure of the Ponyville library, Golden Oaks, compared to the volume of patrons and have come to the sad conclusion that the purchase of such a rare and costly manuscript for such a small town would be inadvisable. A larger library in Maretropolis or Manehattan might be able to leverage the extra cost in added traffic, but in Ponyville the document would sit idly by, gathering dust. I know you will understand, Princess Twilight, that the duty to the citizens must sometimes trump personal enthusiasm for projects. Yours sincerely, Princess Celestia"

"What?! She said ‘no’ to my purchasing /Modern Machinery in the Industrialized Future/ by Clayhoof the Wingless? But he was a hero of all Equestria, surely people would flock to the library to read such a thing!"

Twilight spluttered furiously for a few minutes as Spike tried to calm her down.

"Calm down Twilight, it’s not that bad! You still are able to order regular fiction novels and encyclopedias whenever you want to," Spike offered helpfully.

"Encyclopedias...that reminds me..." Twilight looked off dreamily into the distance.

"Twilight? TWILIGHT! What does it remind you of?" Spike asked, nervously. "The last time you got that look in your eye, you had me and Pinkie Pie break into Starswirl the Bearded’s wing in the Canterlot Library!"

"Oddly enough, it was related to that very pony. Would you like to hear the story?"

Spike nodded cautiously.

"A long, long time ago, when I was just a filly..."

"You're not /that/ old, Twilight."

"Hush! When I was just a filly, there was a travelling book salesman..."

***

Book Back hauled his carriage down Mane Street in Canterlot. His coat was dusty from the road and his hooves were cracked due to all the distance, but he was happy to be back. Selling books was a pretty decent business, especially since libraries tended to be community based and were mostly just places people left books for others to read. Larger towns had actual librarians running them, but they rarely ever would purchase a book from him, most came through the Equestrian Postal System from other libraries.

Bookie, as he asked to be called, only passed through major cities when he needed to stock up on books or when he had a real gem to sell. Private collectors were going to drool over this particular find, he was certain.

Suddenly he felt a pair of soft, small hooves grab him around the neck and a commanding voice say in a high pitched voice "Halt! All your books are belonging to me!"

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. His best, most loyal customer. "Hi Twilight," he said, turning to get a look at the little filly who had sprung onto his back. "How did you like that book I sold you last time, /King Sombra's Mines/, was it not?"

"Oh, it was great! I loved it! So, what do you have for me today?" she asked, hopping on his haunches.

"Well, I found a few interesting tidbits," he said, unhitching himself from his carriage and blocking the wheels so it wouldn't roll away. "There's a second edition copy of /Hungry Pots and the Phoenix's Stone/, signed by the author. Then there's the unabridged Fetlock Hooves in---"

He broke off as he saw the little filly wasn't listening. After he had opened the back of his carriage, her eyes had widened to an almost impossible extent and she was staring fixedly at one particular object.

"Oh, I see you saw the Starswirl the Bearded's /Encyclopedia of Life in Equestria, Above and Below/. It is nicely bound, eh?"

"It's...it's beautiful..." Twilight breathed. "How much?"

"Um, I don't think a filly like you could afford it," Bookie said, startled. "Wouldn't you rather th---"

"No, no! This is the best book ever, I just know it! It will have all the facts and figures that I'll need to know to get into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns! I need it!"

"I don't know about that, you'd probably have to ask your parents first. Tell you what, I'll hold it for the day and you can bring them over to see the book and we can talk then."

***

"So, then what happened?" Spike asked after a moment.

Twilight turned to Spike. "Would you believe it, they said no!"

Spike looked at her for a second. "But Twilight, that book probably cost a small fortune."

"Yes, yes, maybe. But I wanted it soooo bad." Twilight looked at the letter in her hoof as if the story and it were somehow connected. "I just wish..."

"Hey, hey! No spoilers! Finish the story," Spike cut in.

"Oh, right. Well, I went to see my parents explaining how I absolutely needed this set of books..."

***

"Twilight, dear, you know we love you," her mother began.

"And you know we would do anything we could for you to become all you can be," her father continued.

"But you know bits are tight for everyone these days. We just bought you a complete collection of Phei's / Nature of Pretzels/. Maybe next month when he's back in town we can get another book from him," her mother finished.

"But mooooom! It's Starswirl the Bearded! It's one of the most important books in all of Equestria, and it's going to sit collecting dust in some collector's shelf or in a library somewhere that I might not have a card to!" Twilight whined.

"Twilight!" her father said mock sternly, "name a library in Canterlot you /don't/ have a library card to."

"But..." she protested.

"I'm sorry Twilight, but we can't afford it now, and I doubt we ever will. If it gets bought by a library then you can go there and read it. But unless you can come up for the price of the book yourself, you can't get this book, I'm sorry."

So filly Twilight huffed and puffed and finally stormed off to her room. Slamming the door as loudly as she could (which wasn't that loud due to the magic muffling properties of the door), she went to her bed and started sobbing. Smarty Pants was sitting on lying on her side resting, so Twilight picked her up and started talking it through with the only reasonable person in the house.

"They can't do this! It's a book, I love books! And it's /Starswirl/! I." Twilight dropped her rant as her favourite brother came into the room.

"Hey Twilie," he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

Turning away she hugged Smarty Pants and looked at her newest book. "I need to get the money to buy Starswirl's /Encyclopedia of Life in Equestria, Above and Below/ and mom and dad said they wouldn't buy it for me."

Shining walked over to Twilight and gave her a hug. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you have lots of bits. Tw---" Twilight paused halfway through her whining and looked again at the book she had on her nightstand. Suddenly she jumped up, almost knocking her brother to the floor.

"PRETZELS!"

"...what?" Shining looked sharply around the room for the vicious pretzels that had startled his sister so.

"Pretzels! We can open a new Pretzel shop and make the money for the book!" Twilight was hopping up and down excitedly. "And you can help me bake. I can't reach the dials for the stove yet!"

"Uh, Twilie, are you sure we should..."

"And we can get Cadance to help us sell them!" Twilight finished triumphantly.

"Well, I guess we could..."

***

"Pretzels are an interesting chemical experiment," Twilight expounded to Spike. "Did you know that traditionally you dip the pretzels in lye to allow them to brown well using the May Yard reaction? The reaction is named after May Yard, a brilliant chef and baker who lived just over a hundred years ago. Fascinating stuff. Of course, lye was out of the question for the average filly, so I had to settle for an egg wash. Not quite the same texture, but still fairly good."

"Thrilling," Spike drawled sarcastically. "So you are telling me that you and Shining Armour peddled pretzels with Princess Cadance so you could get a book? Did you burn down the house?"

"Well, not exactly," Twilight answered slightly bashfully.

***

Flour. Everywhere. Twilight had been trying to test a new spell that would move the flour from the bin to the rest of the ingredients in a pretzel shape, requiring less folding and kneading. Sadly, she had miscalculated somewhat and the flour had just exploded everywhere.

Still, being a good scientist she had only used a cup's worth of flower, so it was truly impressive that it had managed to coat ever surface of the room. It may be that she had also included a replicator spell in the mix. This was the moment Cadance chose to walk in the room in reply to the letter Shining had sent her. A white stallion with white hair and a white filly with white hair and a white room with white dust greeted her as she walked into the room.

"CADANCE!" yelled the white menace, and charged toward the pink princess.

"What happened to you?" Cadance said as she swept her up in a hug.

"We're making Pretzels!" Twilight chirped happily. "Then we're going to sell them so I can buy Starswirl's book!"

Cadance chuckled at the filly and used her magic to clean the filly from most of the flour. Shining Armour was standing stock still looking rather sheepish.

"Sorry for the mess I dragged you into..." his voice trailed off and he felt a sneeze coming on.

The gust of air from his lungs caused a regular dust storm in the room, and suddenly everyone and everything was coated with dust again.

The three white ponies looked around themselves. Finally a small snigger slipped out of Twilight and then everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't speak.

Cleaning up took the better part of an hour, but finally the real work began. Throughout the entire afternoon they baked and baked. Finally they had what looked like enough. Twilight loaded up her small cart and began to trot around the street yelling "Pretzels for sale! Pretzels! Come get your delicious pretzels!"

Ponies flocked to get some of that delightful doughy dainties. Business ponies ordered enough for their board meetings (which were fairly boring) and shop workers ordered them for their snacks.

Finally she had sold every single pretzel. Humming happily she began trotting toward Bookie's carriage.

"I have the bits!" she yelled as she skidded to a halt.

Bookie looked into her waggon and his eyes widened in shock. Indeed, there seemed to be enough and more besides.

"Well, fair's fair. Here you go." He turned and rummaged inside his carriage. "Here you go! Enjoy it in good health. Come again!"

***

"That's it? You sold pretzels to get some books?" Spike asked, slightly let down. "How will this help us?"

"Well, I have been thinking about that self-hydrating auto-kneading spell, it probably would work if I just tw---" Twilight started before being cut off.

"No! No cooking! You agreed!" Spike shouted.

"Oh come on Spike, I can just..." Twilight objected.

"You set cold cereal on fire last time! CEREAL! You burnt my eyebrows off! Do you know how hard it is to burn dragon eyebrows? No! You will not bake anything! Especially not in my kitchen."

***

Several weeks passed by. Twilight was again trying to convince Spike that baking pretzels was a simple matter of chemistry and that she should be allowed a chance to try cooking again.

A ring at the door put this particular conversation on hold. A uniformed pegasus stood at the door.

"Sgn hre plz," she said around the clipboard clenched in her mouth.

Twilight signed the delivery form and the postal mare replaced the form to her saddlebags. "Here you go!"

A rectangular parcel with the royal seal was presented to Twilight. She took the package, thanked the pony and closed the door. Trembling excitedly she delicately cut open the package. A letter sat on top of a wrapped object.

"Dear Twilight, I know you were hoping that this book would be able to be purchased through the library fund. While my letter expressed why that could not be so, I did make alternate arrangements. I had been planning on getting you a coronation present for some time now but had been biding my time to find that perfect gift for you. A book seemed appropriate. Sincerely yours, Princess Celestia"

Trembling, Twilight slit the brown paper covering the book to find a pristine copy of /Modern Machinery in the Industrialized Future/ awaiting her.

Author's Note

I wrote this as a one off for a kind soul who likes pretzels and Twilight. I hope they enjoy it.