My Little Pony and... South Park?

by RaynaOfTheDead

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 4009

What happens when an adorable, innocent show meets a raunchy adult show? This Fanfic tries to answer that question in the stupidest, funniest way possible.

When Cartman tries something stupid to create portals to alternate universes and Twilight Sparkle tries something magic to create portals to alternate universes, you know something crazy is going to happen. Well, as crazy as swapping characters from My Little Pony with characters from South Park is!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-31 14:45:36 UTC

This isn't my home...

Cartman woke up on a cloud feeling extremely dizzy.

"Ugh... Where am I?" He mumbled as he tried to stand up. Then he realised... He had hooves. Cartman cursed and almost fell off the cloud.

"What? Hooves? Am I a... a PONY?" He felt something on his baack, and turned around to see that he had wings. Sure they were tiny, but he had freaking wings! He attempted to fly, and managed to hover for a few seconds before slamming into the cloud. He hopped off the cloud and floated down to the ground before going into Ponyville to find Kyle, get $10 and gloat about his wings.

Rainbow Dash was awoken by a delicious smell.

"Huh? Where am I?" She saw her hands "WHAT am I?" She sat up and realised that she was in someone's bedroom lying on the floor. She got to her feet, which instantly made her feel a little dizzy. She decided to figure out what she was as soon as she figured out where she was.

"Eric honey, I got you KFC!" She heard a voice from downstairs say. Maybe whoever had just spoken would know what the heck was going on and where her friends were.

"Hello? Are you okay?"

"What? GAH!!! Who... who are you? Where am I?" Tweek instantly began to panic.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to have startled you! I don't know who you are, but I can tell you that you're in Sugarcube corner, the finest bakery in Ponyville!"

"Ponyville?" Then, he realised that he was talking to a chubby blue pony with a swirly pink mane. Then, he realised that he WAS a pony.

"AHH! PONIES? I CAN'T BE A PONY! THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

Before the pony could respond, Tweek galloped out of the bakery in a panic. Although he was panicking about being a pony, Tweek hoped that his friends would be somewhere in Ponyville so that they could all think of a way to get back to South Park.

Coffee. A substance you should NEVER give to Pinkie Pie. But now there was a huge mug of the stuff right in front of her. In Equestria they had to make it against the law for Pinkie Pie to drink coffee, so naturally she was excited. She didn't even take the time to realize that she was an entirely different species, she just was excited to have coffee at last. You've probably already guessed that this won't end well.

Kyle felt like he was going to vomit as he woke up on a hard wooden floor.

"What the... Where am I?" Then he heard a noise behind him that sounded like his baby brother, Ike.

"Ike, is that you? Where are you?" He turned around only to see that Ike was a baby dragon, and he was a unicorn!

"Oh my God! What's happened to us?" Kyle asked his brother, but he was too shocked to answer. Kyle and Ike had no idea what was going on, but they knew that they were in some kind of library. They also knew that panicking wouldn't help at all, and that they should find Cartman so he could make another portal and get them back home.

"Twilight?" Said Spike, feeling nervous. "I think you're a human

again!"

"WHAT? Oh sweet Luna, not again!" Twilight instantly jumped to her feet.

"I think you are too, Spike! But... There's something weird about you..."

You see, Spike actually looked like your average South Park Canadian which was why Twilight thought he looked a bit strange. They both looked around the room they were in, but it just looked like a normal bedroom to them.    "Oh, Spike, we need to get our friends and get home now!" Twilight sighed before they both left the room to find out where every pony else was.

Who was this mysterious pony lying in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres? Applebloom was about to go get Big Macintosh, but then the pony started to wake up. He looked around, confused. He saw Applebloom and groaned. With weird stuff happening in South Park almost daily, Stan thought that seeing a yellow, talking pony was practically normal. He even thought that BEING a talking pony was normal compared to living in South Park!

"Who are you?" Applebloom asked Stan, who stood up and walked over to her.

"I'm Stan, who are you and where am I?"

"I'm Applebloom and this is Sweet Apple Acres..." But before she could offer him some apples to get a cutie mark (Of giving ponies apples) he trotted off to find Cartman. "If that fatass could get us here, he can get us back..." Stan thought to himself as he walked into Ponyville.

"Stan? Are you upstairs?" Applejack heard as she was trying to get used to her new body. She guessed that Stan could have been one of the humans she saw in the white void before she fell unconcious. She decided to go and talk to whoever had just spoken, because maybe they could help her find Twilight and get back to Equestria.

Kenny woke up, wondering what Cartman's silly experiment had done to him. He looked around the room, which looked very clean and he guessed was some kind of fashion shop. He caught sight of himself in one of the many mirrors and realised that he was a unicorn. Kenny, who didn't really mind being a unicorn, decided to explore this little boutique some more before trying to get back to South Park.

Rarity had a lot to panic about. The fact that she was a human shocked her, but being in a filthy room (in Rarity's eyes) was the worst possible thing that could happen. She tried to calm down and analyse her surroundings, and saw a little closet. She opened it. In the closet she saw a pile of weird magazines, a Batman costume and some other things she had no idea how to describe. "Oh sweet Celestia, why is this happening to me?" She cried to herself. Suddenly, the door opened and a little girl, holding a doll, walked in.

Butters was flapping his magnificent wings; he was trying to comprehend what had actually happened to him! Just like his friends, he had been turned into one type of pony (in this case, a pegasus). He was in a pretty little cottage full of adorable little animals who were scared at first, but now knew he was as harmless as their owner, Fluttershy. Although he wanted to stay in this lovely place, Butters knew that he had to get back home somehow, so he left the cottage and walked towards Ponyville to see if his friends were there.

Fluttershy woke up on a comfortable bed. Sitting up, she realised that she was a human and fell off the bed in shock. After getting over her scary realisation, Fluttershy left the room and walked downstairs. As she went to open the front door, it swung open and Butters' parents walked in.

Everybody began to explore the place they had been transported to (The ponies turned to humans explored South Park and the boys turned to ponies explored Ponyville).

So, we meet again!

Stan was casually walking through the little village when another pony crashed into him.

"Hey, watch where you're going next time!" He yelled at the dark green pony.

"GAH! Sorry! Wait, Stan? Is that you?" The pony replied, who it turned out was Tweek! Stan and Tweek had a short conversation about how the hell they were going to get home and turn back in to humans.

"Maybe Cartman would know? I mean, he did get us here in the first place so maybe he can get us back!" Tweek said. Stan agreed and told him to come to help him find all of their friends first.

They were walking together when they heard a familiar voice in the distance.

"Is that... Cartman?" Stan muttered.

"Shut up you gay little pony!" Cartman shouted at a little pink filly.

"Gay? Who do YOU think you're calling gay, you fat bully?" The pink filly shouted back. "And what in Celestia's name is your Cutie Mark supposed to be? A dollar sign? That just looks really stupid!"

"Cutie mark?" Then he noticed the symbol on his flank. "What the hell is that?"

"You seriously don't know what a cutie mark is? You are SO lame!"

"I DO know what a cutie mark is! It's the stupid picture on my ass!" Cartman replied before seeing Diamond Tiara's (The pink filly) cutie mark. "Huh, at least I don't have a stupid gay tiara on my ass like YOU."

"Stupid... gay... tiara... stupid... gay... tiara?" You see, nobody had ever made fun of her cutie mark so she felt extremely offended. "It's MY cutie mark! Nopony ever insults Diamond Tiara's cutie mark you awful meanie!" She then started to think about her cutie mark. What did the little tiara represent? Why was her cutie mark so stupid? She ran away crying. Cartman smirked; he loved to make sure nobody got away with insulting him.

"Cartman!" He heard Stan shout. "Get your fat ass over here now!"

"Ay! I'm not fat I'm just big boned, Stan!"

"Just get over here!" Stan said to him as he hovered over to them.

Stan and Tweek noticed Cartmaan's stumpy wings. "You have wings?" Cartman nodded, but before he could even begin to rub it in Stan and Tweek's faces they heard Butters scream from behind them.

Kyle and Ike had been walking when they heard Butters talking to another pony. He was talking to Kenny; they bumped into each other when trying to find Catman. He was chatting to him about how they could get home, when he spotted Kyle walking towards him.

"Oh hey, Kyle! I was just talking Kenny about finding our other friends!" Butters smiled, then saw that Ike was a dragon.

"Oh, hamburgers! Why is Ike a little dragon, Kyle?"

"I don't know, Butters! I think it's because...." Before Kyle could finish his sentence, Ike's stomach growled and he let out an almighty burp. It wasn't just a normal burp however, it was followed by a huge green flame and a scroll. Butters screamed as the scroll hit him in the face.

Tweek and Stan ran towards Butters, and when he noticed Kyle, Stan ran straight towards him and said

"Kyle... Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I don't know Stan, but Ike just threw up this scroll thingy... maybe it has something to help us get home written on it?" The scroll said:

Dear Ponies,

I know that you aren't from Equestria, and want to help you get back to your own universe as soon as possible. A golden chariot is on its way to take you to my castle, which will land by the library at the centre of Ponyville. I hope to help you find your way home successfully, because the ponies you have swapped places with are essential to keeping Equestria safe. I will be seeing you soon.

Yours sincerely, Princess Celestia

"Mmphphs Mphestia?" (Princess Celestia?) Kenny asked.

"I don't know who that is, but if they can help us get home then I don't really care!" Butters said.

They were all waiting by the library when they saw the golden chariot coming towards them. They hopped on and were whisked into the sky quicker than they imagined. Within five minutes they were in Canterlot, and as they entered the castle they came face to face with Princess Celestia...

Twilight and Spike left the (empty) house they'd woken up in and were instantly greeted by an extremely hyper Pinkie Pie. Twilight didn't have time to comprehend that Pinkie Pie was a human too, when Pinkie said

"OhheyTwilightwhatareyoudoinghere?" But she spoke so fast that Twilight hadn't a clue what she said at all!

"Er... What?" Twilight asked. Before she could answer, they spotted Fluttershy sneaking out of a house by them.

ONE QUICK CONVERSATION LATER

"So... how ARE we going to get home? You can't exactly use a spell..."

"YeahTwilightyourhornisGONE!"

"There's got to be some way of getting back home, hasn't there?" Twilight said nervously. Then they heard someone calling them.

Applejack had walked downstairs to see who had called to Stan. Maybe she'd know what the hell was going on. After a short conversation (in which Applejack told her everything that had happened), Stan's mom shrugged it off as one of the kid's games and told her to go and get Stan. As she exited the house, Applejack noticed some humans that looked like her friends. She called out to them.

Rainbow Dash smiled as she finally convinced Cartman's mom to give her some of Eric's KFC. She didn't know what KFC was, but it smelled amazing to  bucket; after all, Cartman wouldn't know because he was in an entirely different universe!

"Are you one of Eric's friends? I haven't seen you before, did you just move here I take it?"

"Errrr... Yeah, sure, I'm Eric's friend..."

"Well, tell him to come back home soon so Mommy can tuck him into bed!"  Rainbow Dash nodded before grabbing another piece of KFC and leaving to find Twilight.

".... and so that's when I woke up in this dirty little room!" Rarity said to the little girl (Who was Kenny's little sister Karen) She sat there, realising that the girl she sat next to was a unicorn and asked her many questions about her species. Rarity told her that her questions could be answered later, and that for now she'd need help finding her other friends.

"Maybe they're by Kenny's friend's houses!" Karen exclaimed.

"Good thinking, Karen, I guess that's where we shall go!" So Karen and Rarity headed towards the houses.

All the girls were finally back together, and trying to find a way back home.

The ponies were facing Celestia wondering what she could really do.

HOW WILL THESE BELOVED CHARACTERS GET BACK TO THEIR HOMES? FIND OUT SOON!

Uh-Oh

"Look girls, I think we could get home if we went to the local school..." Twilight suggested, hoping they could find the portal she went through before to get to the human world.

"Ugh, we have to go to SCHOOL?" Rainbow Dash groaned, for she thought that school was way too boring.

"Rainbow! It may be the only way we can get back home!" Twilight replied. Unfortunately for them, it was not. Even worse for them was that Mr.Mackay saw them outside the school and forced them to go in, giving them a late detention (because it was the middle of the school day!) They were sent straight to Mr.Garrison's class (Other than Spike, who was sent to the kindergarten class.)

The boys had told Celestia their story, and she had been sitting there for a couple of minutes thinking what she could do.

"Kyle, was there a book on the table in the library?" Celestia asked, hoping the book would contain the spell to send them back.

"Um, yes but it was all burnt up..." Kyle replied sounding slightly confused. Celestia frowned, because the book was actually Starswirl the bearded's one of a kind extremely advanced spell books. In fact, it was the last book he wrote before his mysterious disappearance... But that's not important. What's important is what happens next!

"Unfortunately the spell was only in that book, however there could be another way for you to go back where you belong... There's a book in the-" Before she could finish her sentence, the earth shook beneath them and a green spike of magic pierced Celestia through her pale neck.

"Oh my God, you killed Celestia!" Kyle yelled.

"You basta- wait, what the hell is that?!"

Queen Chrysalis flew over to Celestia's lifeless body and cackled as her changeling army swarmed across Canterlot.

"This... is... BORING!" Rainbow Dash shouted. She and her friends had been in detention for two hours, but still had five more to go.

"There will be no talking in detention, M'kay?" Mr.Mackay scolded them. Rainbow Dash grumbled and rested her head on the table. Pinkie Pie had been asleep most of that time, because her coffee high had disappeared along with all of that energy. All of a sudden a strange noise came from the distance.

"Huh, wha was that?" Pinkie Pie mumbled as she woke up.

"It sounded like a... n-no, it can't be..." Fluttershy answered.

"What is it Fluttershy?" Rarity asked.

"It sounded like, and this will sound crazy-"

"Just spit it out!" Applejack said.

"A guinea pig..." As she said that, the noise came again only much louder.

"G-g-GUINEA PIGS?" Spike said, sounding terrified.

"Oh... my... God, M'kay..."

Celestia's dead

"Ah! Who are you?" Butters screamed at Chrysalis.

"Me? I'm Queen Chrysalis, and with my changeling army I shall conquer all of Equestria, you foolish little mare!" She told them as she encased them all in green cocoons.

"Now, you're probably wondering why I'm here..."

"Oh God..." Kyle mumbled.

"We don't care!" Stan yelled at her.

"Well, about six months ago, I tried to conquer Equestria by posing as Princess Cadence. Needless to say, my attempts failed all thanks to this dead bitch's prize student, Twilight Sparkle... If it wasn't for her I could have become the ruler of this Luna forsaken place. But now that she's gone forever, I can finally seize control!" She told them. They rolled their eyes at her story, because they seriously didn't care.

Kenny wiggled and squirmed in his cocoon. He hoped that he could get out of the damned thing if he just tried a little harder... He felt something pop by his horn. It turns out he'd managed to loosen the goo around his head, meaning that he could use his horn to poke through some of the goo.

"Just... a little... more..." He thought as he felt the cocoon loosen around him. Kenny shook and he jiggled and after what seemed like forever the cocoon fell apart, freeing him. He looked at his friends, who were to focused on their own escape to notice his. Chrysalis was to busy gazing out of the castle window to care about her six prisoners, so Kenny wasn't worried about her noticing as he ripped open the cocoons of his friends.

Just before Chrysalis could spot them, the six boys ran out of the throne room.

"GAH! Thanks for freeing us Kenny! That maniac could have KILLED us!" Tweek said to Kenny as they galloped down the corridor. Suddenly they were stopped by a dark blue pony with a long flowing mane. She told them to follow her into Celestia's bedroom, for it was the safest room for them to talk in.

"Boys, I know how you can defeat this maniac!" She told them.

"How the hell are we supposed to defeat that crazy bitch?" Cartman asked.

"Well, it won't be easy. I will have to give Kenny a power which he may be familiar with." Luna explained to a confused Kenny. She then cast a spell on him which knocked him unconscious.

"Don't worry boys, your friend will be okay..." She said before disappearing into thin air.

Kenny woke up in a place he thought seemed familiar. He turned around to see Princess Luna calmly walking towards him.

"What's going on? Where are we?" Kenny asked her. Luna simply smiled at him before giving him a box. He opened it, and was engulfed by a ball of light.

"Where did she go, where did she go?!" Butters was panicking.

"Dude, Butters, I don't know. She knocked out Kenny and just disappeared!"

"But, what if she NEVER comes back, and we're killed by that crazy pony! GAH! What if we never get home?" Tweek couldn't stop panicking.

"How the hell is a faggy PONY gonna kill us, you guys?" Cartman said.

"She killed the Princess, fatass!" Kyle began to argue with Cartman.

"Ay! I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!"

Before the boys could start an argument, they saw Kenny's body rise into the air. He then transformed into a beautiful Princess, the most beautiful they'd ever seen. Luna then re-appeared, and the boys knew what Kenny had to do.

Kenny had to battle Chrysalis in the ultimate final battle.

Weird Ass Portals

"Oh my God you guys!" Cartman shouted as he galloped to the bus stop "You're not gonna believe it!"

"Ugh, what is it now, fatass?" Kyle said, knowing that whatever Cartman would say would be incredibly stupid.

"I have discovered a way... to make... PORTALS! To different universes, you guys!"

"Pfft, yeah right Cartman." Stan, Kenny and Kyle said in unison.

"I have, and I'll prove it to you guys! And everyone at school!"

MEANWHILE, IN EQUESTRIA...

Twilight Sparkle's friends gathered round as she tried out her new spell. Princess Celestia had sent her an extremely old book, which had some interesting spells in it. The one she was trying to perform could potentially create portals to different universes, which her friends were enthusiastic to see.

"You can do it, Twi!" Her friends encouraged her.

The minute the portal opened, everypony knew something bad was about to happen.

NOW, BACK TO SOUTH PARK...

Cartman had mixed some items together in a bucket; he was proving that he could open a portal to get $10 from Kyle.

Butters and Tweek were right at the front of the crowd (the crowd of Cartman's entire class). They knew it wouldn't work, but were trying to see what was in that bucket.

Cartman lit a match and threw it into the bucket of God knows what. A bright light erupted from that bucket to everyone's surprise, absorbing anyone unfortunate enough to be standing too close to it.

Back in Equestria...

As a bright light flashed from Twilight's horn, her friends watched in awe because they knew it was working.

All of a sudden though, the light flashed brighter than ever and the ponies (and Spike) realised the danger they were in. Then they were absorbed by the light.

Everyone was in a white void. Before Cartman could get his $10 off Kyle, they all fell unconscious. Before Twilight could begin to panic, they all fell unconscious.

Jesus Christ!

"Girls, don't be ridiculous! That noise was NOT a guinea pig!" Rarity yelled at them. But then a guinea pig crashed through the school's wall.

"Oh sweet Celestia!" They all cried as they ran out of the room as quick as possible, followed by Mr.Mackay. Unfortunately for them, there were many more guinea pigs outside. Whichever way they were going to run, a guinea pig stood in their way. The only way to go was into the forest. They ran and they ran and they ran as fast as their little legs could carry them, before stopping to catch their breath.

"What are we gonna do? Who the heck's gonna save us?" Pinkie Pie asked her friends. This world had no Celestia, no elements of harmony and no magic! Suddenly, Fluttershy had an idea. A thought of who could save them. The lord and saviour, Jesus Christ.

"Jesus Christ? JESUS. CHRIST? How can you be sure he even exists, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked when Fluttershy told them her idea.

"I have faith that he definitely exists, which is why I'm going to ask you to kill me so I can get into Heaven, talk to Jesus and ask him to save us." She said, and before any of her friends could protest she ran into the trees to find a wolf to kill her. And one most certainly did.

Fluttershy woke up in a field of clouds.

"Perfect." She thought "I'm here." Before any Mormons could welcome her and ask her if she wanted to watch a play about how stealing hurts you and others, she ran off into the distance, looking for Jesus.

"Jesus!" She called "Please help me!" And then, thankfully, Christ appeared before her.