chapter two: It must be thursday
As I come to, I notice that I am wet and cold Wonderful, I fell for some trick and got mugged or some- no, everything is here... even that weird necklace I put the necklace in my pocket and pull out a new cigarette to get over my backache and flick my Zippo
Nothing
"Oh right, I was going to buy more fluid at the convenience store, now how am I going to get out of... where the hell am I?" I ask, not expecting an answer "My cave; who are you, what are you, and why are you messing with a metal box?" a female voice answers from behind me
"Uh, Clark Peterson, who are yo-OH MY GOD!" right behind me is a huge ice blue lizard with solid light green eyes staring down at me from a pile of huge gems
"Why are you yelling? You act as if you've never seen a dragonesse before" she says, grabbing me by the back of my jacket
"D-dragonesse? Dragons don't exist!" I yell, then I remember my position, and try to retract my statement "Well, what are you then? A very odd looking monkey?" she asks, smirking
"Human... and uh... could you put me down please? I would like to know that the ground is below me" I ask, waving my legs
"Hmmmm... No, I don't think I will. Now, could you stop stop staring at me? It is very creepy"
"Well, this is the first time I've seen a dragon in my life! A real, live, DRAGON! And who knew that dragons were so-" she places me on the ground
"Repulsive? Yes, I know, you must want to run or whatever back to humanland. You no longer interest me, begone" She walks (what do you call it when a dragon walks away?) away and onto a smaller pile of gems.
Looking around at the gems, there are thousands of them sparkling in the light If I sell a few of these, I'll be set for life! I grab a large red one when something hits me These look like rupees... and there are even green and blue ones, and thousands of them... probably not valuable and I need to know something
Crawling over the crystals, I approach the dragon(esse) and stand in front of her "I was going to say beautiful, I always imagined dragons as huge brutes with slitted eyes and fire breath, you look like a goddess in dragon form to me" I wonder if I'm laying it on too thick
She opens her mouth and blows a white stream of fire to my left "Convinced? Now go away. I wish to be alone, and you no longer-"
"Interest you, I heard you the first time, and I am still not convinced you are a dragon. For all I know, I could be dreaming right now. And I've told you my name, what is yours?" I sit across from her, my arms crossed
"...I have none, I am alone. Now leave" she grunts, turning away
I get up, my back killing me with each step "Nope, now, if you are a dragon, light my smoke" I figure if she has fire breath, I could get some pain relief
She opens one eye and flicks my chest, launching me back a few feet
"F***! That really hurt! All I asked for was a light!" I yell, rubbing my worsened back
"No, leave or I will crush you" she sits up, looking down at me "Don't you have a family or something to go back to?" she asks, crossing her arms, then I see the more human traits
And by "traits" I mean pert, round boobs, and a very white-ish dragonhood "Aphrodite must really like you to give a b**** like you that kind of body" I say, looking at her chest
"Answer my question human" she growls
"No, at least, none that I want to deal with, and no place to call home, so you're stuck with me" I reply
"My face is up here, idiot" she says, lowering her body back down
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!! I was enjoying that!"
"What is it with these things? Everytime I try to speak with another of my kind, they always stare at them. Idiots all of them..." she mutters, combing back her ice blue hair with a claw
"Uh, you were gorgeous before but now you really must be a goddess to be endowed like that" I say, approaching her head
"What are you-oh" I run a hand along her scaled face "S-stop that! I-oh... that's nice..." she closes one eye like a cat, yawning slightly, exposing her sharp teeth
I decide to move my hand to her snout, rubbing the... Soft? scales, when some of them turn pinkish
"Are you blushing?" I ask, when her eye opens, the cool green of her irises like cold emerald pools "And if I am? What does it matter? And if you stop your touching again for a stupid question, I will flick you into a wall" she closes her eyes as I continue my rubbing, when I notice her relax
"So, why is a dragonesse like you alone in such a big cave?" I ask, moving to her forehead
"I chose to seclude myself, I never liked the company of other dragons and being alone is quiet and I am not alone" she sighs, I stick my cigarette out and it caches, the smell of pot filling my nostrils "What is that smell?"
"Pot smoke, sorry, I have a bad back and it helps. Sorry about the smell, I would burn some incense 'cause my landlord hated the smell" But then again, after cooking crack and meth for decades, you would think he wouldn't HAVE a sense of smell I muse in my head, not noticing the dragon next to me coughing
"Well whatever it is, put it out!" she yells, poking me in the back
"Fine..." I put it out on her finger "OW! What the blazes was that for?!" she yells, blowing fire on it
"What's wrong? I thought dragons were immune to fire!" I exclaim, noticing the small scorch mark disappear in the white flames
"I am not a fire dragon, I am a healing dragon, rare and hunted from birth by both ponies and dragons alike. Why else do you think that I am alone?! I am hunted by both because of my powers and it infuriates me! I have only my claws to fight with! I can't breath fire, I breath purifying flames!" she lays back down on her gem bed and grabs my arm, and places it on her hand
Unlike her head, her hand is cool to the touch, and smooth instead of soft "Uh... I'm sorry about the whole putting my cigarette out on your hand thing. Hey, would your breath fix my back?" I ask, running my hand over the scales
"... How should I know? It might, it might not" she sighs
"Could you try?" I ask, hoping to get some relief
"You are too small, I would burn you... but I could make myself smaller but I won't. If I have to deal with a pain like you, you have to deal with your pain" she smirks, letting out a wisp of flame to taunt me
"I don't believe you" I say, trying reverse psychology
"You can't trick me into doing it you know" She opens her eyes and looks down at me
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes" she replies, eyes glinting
"Then how about this?!" I run for her exposed neck and grab one of her breasts, which is the size of a beach ball (remember, she is 18 feet tall and he is 6' foot) and begin to squeeze it, trying to trick her into hitting herself
What happened next surprised me
"Aaahhhhnnnn... noooooo~" she moans, back arching
Is she... enjoying this? I ask myself, tightening my grip "MMMNnnnn~ if you don't stop I'll... I'll... AH!" her body glows white blue and I drop, watching as her form seems to shrink in front of me
What in the name of Deep thought is happening?
Author's Note
steel, hope you like this, because next chapter might get a little hot
Chapter three: Stuff gets hot with a dragonesse
On the ground where the dragon once was is a 6 foot tall blue-white girl
"Hey! Are you okay?! I slide down the gems and the girl grunts "No thanks to you human... wait..." she looks at her hands and feet "Oh tartarus..." she stands up and punches me in the jaw "Wonderful, now I have to wait for a whole lunar cycle before I can change back" she mutters, walking towards a small pile of cloth
"What are you- oh" she slips under it and sticks her head out, her long slender arms appearing from under crude sleeves "What? You can't expect me to hunt naked; That would make me dumber than you are" She walks past me and moves a few rocks away "Good, it's still here"
"What?" I ask, looking over her shoulder
For a brief instant her cheeks turn pink "Not so close!" she growls swiping at me, her nails just missing my shirt
In her other hand is a long, rusted piece of metal with a bit of cloth on the narrower end near her hand
A sword
"Wow, a rusted sword... Impressive" I monotone sitting down to straighten my back
"Feh, screw you. I'm going hunting because SOMEONE shrunk me and I can't kill my prey without claws" she turns and jumps out of the cave opening
I lay down all the way after unfolding my towels and make a crude bed for myself, putting my still unlit cigarette in its box... when something occurs to me
"...Shit..." I pull out the box and look at its contents. 8 cigarettes left; I sit up to rummage through my bag, forgetting my back pain and go rigid as a huge wave hits me... and I black out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, wake up human" a voice says, followed by some kicking
"What is I- Oh, hey" I say, looking up
She smirks and kicks me in the ribs "GUH! Wh-wh-wha-?" I heave, her foot having landed on my spleen (Always a funny thing to say)
"Get up, I forgot how little I need to eat in this form, so go eat" she says, pointing to a half- eaten carcass of something
"What the hell is that?" I ask, looking at the gory mess
"Manticore, mostly meat anyways, just don't bite the tail or anything, very poisonous" she says, looking at a small (Smaller than the others so about the size of her hand) gem
"Manticores don't-" She looks at me with mild amusement "Right, if dragons are real, then manticores and unicorns and junk must be real too" I mutter, looking at the tail, stiff and straight like a pole and something occurs to me
I walk over to it and try to break it off the body like a branch
"... What are you doing?" she asks, walking over to me, gem still in hand
"Well, I need a weapon if I'm going to help you" I say, crawling on top of it and jumping down on it, falling on my face
"Why would you help me?" she looks kind of annoyed again
I roll onto my back, the pain reverberating from the impact "It's my fault your like this. So it only seems fair to try and make up for it"
"... Idiot" she mutters, stepping over me and starts to try to break the tail off
And I see it
Her blue-white lips
I just stare, watching as she bends her back to brace to put her weight on it
"Oh come on... I've broken things like this before..." she stops and looks down at me "Hey idiot, get off your ass and help me, you're the one who wanted the tail"
I comply, the image of her lips ingrained in my mind
"Now push up!" she commands, bracing again
I do, when she looks at me "With your back and legs!"
I grit my teeth "I would if I could, but I have a bad back! I can't lift with it!"
She sighs and jumps onto the manticore's back and straddles the tail, pulling up "Get under it and push!"
I do, understanding her idea for me not to use my back (And stare at her slit, wondering if it is searing hot because she's a dragon)
Pushing up, the tail starts to bend and the hard shell-stuff starts cracking
"HUNGH!!! Come on... almost..." she grunts, leaning back
(SNAP!)
With an audible snap, the tail catapults to the other side of the cave, landing on the floor
"Thanks" I say, when she falls onto her back
"Ugh... stupid human... I don't want your thanks..." she sighs, rolling onto her legs and landing on the ground
Sheesh, what a bitch I think to myself, walking over to the tail, which, strangely enough, isn't bloody
I pick it up and its lightness surprises me (Roughly translated: I fell on my ass)
She walks over and tosses me a large amount of tanned fur "You won't be of much good to me dead" she says, pulling out another hide
"T-Thanks" I say (Scratch that: she can be kinda nice) she turns around and glares at me "Shut up before I take it back"
"Fine" (Correction of my last statement: she is a real BITCH!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up in the middle of the night and look around for a place to piss (I'm British, I can say whatever the bloody 'ell I want)
After the longest piss outside of Austin Powers, I go back to my pelt-sheet when something moves
I look over and see her (Really need to think of a name for her) crawling over to me, her eyes half-lidded
"What? Can't I take a bleedin' piss?!" (I've been told I'm a real ass when I'm in pain)
She jumps on me, a blur of ice-blue and brown cloth "WHAT IN BLUE-!?"
She shuts me up
By kissing me
I panic and go limp when she opens her mouth, a long slimy thing wrapping around my tongue. No... Not a long slimy thing but a long slimy tongue
With her face so close to mine, I notice that only the area around her eyes, ears (Which are still dragon-like) and the underside of her chin is scaly; the rest is fleshy looking
She lets my tongue go and raises her head, looking at me blankly, her eyes still half-open like she's half-asleep "Uh... wh-what was that for? Why did you-mmph?" she places another kiss on my mouth, still silent as the night
I push her away and try to figure out what just happened.
She blinks and shakes her head "Huh? Why am I over here? And why does my mouth taste like... nothing?" she rubs her head and looks at me, her confusion replaced by rage "YOU..." she hisses, jumping towards me "You... DARE to try something while I'm asleep?! WHAT KIND OF MONST-" I raise my hand...
And push her face away "You came onto me! You walked up to me and kissed me!" I hear a loud pop from my back "Ahh... that's better"
She blinks "Oh manticore shit... not again..." she walks over to the entrance "Why now? And with a naked ape too... My life just gets worse and worse"
"What's going on?" I ask, keeping a bit of distance from her
"It's... Mating season for my kind... and for some ungemly reason, I prowl for a mate in my sleep..." she sighs and places a hand on her face "It's never been a problem except once before... thanks for stopping me" she turns "If it happens again, just wake me up"
After finally finishing my back stretches, I walk back to my bed to find her on it, asleep "Bloody 'ell... wake up!" she turns over and swats at me "WAKE! UP!" this time she mutters and swats at me (I think she said something about my mother) as a last resort, I kick her in the side "GAH! What in the name of the eight clans are you- Oh... thanks... why am I over here?"
"You tell me. And can I have my bleedin' bed back?" she raises an eye brow (Or eye-ridge... don't care) "Why would your bed bleed?"
I face palm "It's an expression... just... move" I push her and she growls "DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME" she jumps back and walks to her own skin blanket
I lay down on the towel-bed and look up at the cave ceiling (I am so bored, I'm counting stalagmites and the number of scales on her face...)
(Wait, what?!) Sitting next to my head is The bitch (best name for her) stares down at me "So... cold..." she whispers "Need... warmth..."
"Then build a fire, I mean, you are a dragon" I say, rolling away
She crawls over to my head again "Cold..." she points at herself "Warm" and points at me
"Smart, aren't you? Wait a tick... WAKE UP!" I yell, realizing she's asleep
"Mate me... mate..." she whispers when I push her face again "Wake up"
She just blinks "Why? Why not mate?" she whimpers "Need mate to be strong... mate!"
"God, you're like an amazon" I stand up and walk to her, a grin growing on her half-awake face
Face kick
"OW! FUCK! OW! Now you're just kicking me because you feel like it! Gah... ow..." she says, shooting me a death glare "That hurt... stupid ape-thing"
"Can't you control it? I mean, if you've had it for all your life you must know how to or someshit"
She shakes her head "Like I said, never been a problem until now and the first time. Because after the first time I hid away here and now you show up, and it comes back"
"Hmm... how about one of us stays awake during the night? I'll stay awake and you sleep during the night, then I'll wake you up in the morning so I can sleep during the day, that way I can know you won't mate me in my sleep" I shiver at the thought
She raises and eyebrow (Ridge, WHATEVER!) and nods "Fine, that should work... so long as you don't fall asleep on the job"
I sigh and sit against the wall, watching her stare at me until she falls asleep
... No matter where I go, women are crazy, vindictive, and confusing I sigh and look outside "Where's an electromagnetic thumb when you need it?"
"MINE!" She yells, pouncing on me, slamming my head on the stone wall "You are mine now... and I will mate with you" she pins my legs with her own and places my hands on her hips and I do the only thing i could manage in my position
I clocked her in the gut and my hand screams at me She has scales on her chest?! OW! Bugger that hurt!
She frowns "That hurt..." and balls up her fist, landing square in my chest, a loud series of cracks emanating from my spine as all sensation fades. I try to move but every part of me is unresponsive and numb
She paralyzed me
"Bloody f*****' hell in a flaming damn breadbasket" I mutter, the sentiment lost on her
She grins "Now you are going to mate me" grabbing my pants she cocks her head "..."
"..."
"Get to it mate" she growls
I choke out a laugh "I'm paralyzed, can't move"
She frowns "Useless" she crawls off me and returns to her own bed
"Yeh, leave me here paralyzed ya overgrown salamander!" I yell and she stirs "Stop yelling you waste of space!"
"I would be asleep if your monster strength hadn't paralyzed me!'
She sits up "What?'
"You attacked me for real this time! I can't even wiggle my fingers!" I try to but every one of them stays motionless
"... Your mouth seems to work just fine" she sneers
"Shut up, can't your magic breath or whatever fix me?"
She ponders this "Maybe, maybe not... what's it worth to me?"
Captain! we have a gigantic bitch on radar!
Blast it with the weapons!
We can't! The last encounter left us crippled!
(loud fist slam) DAMMIT ALL!
Wh-what do we do sir?
Stay strong private Johnson! We can survive this!
"Internal monologue aside, If you do not, I will whine and moan all night and day and never stop"
She grins "Then I'll kill you with my sword"
"I will haunt you"
"So what? At least ghosts don't eat and I can ignore you"
"... Then I will kill you, possess you, and then live as you while you are slowly crushed by my spirit"
She laughs "You may be large but I can crush you easily"
"Yeah, I'm so large that you can't use your- you can't can you? Since you shrunk you can't use your magic breath!" I try to point to her but my arm chooses to ignore me in favor of twitching
Her face turns purple "I will not fall for that ploy, human"
"Okay, so, how old are ya? Because from what I see, you are at least in your early 20's... at least in human form" I ask, trying to annoy her
"I am not some hatchling! I am over 300 years old! And what are you? 30?" she sneers, clawed hands gripping the hide-blanket
I grin "Flattery will get you nowhere, I'm 45"
She snorts "Child"
"I am not a child! If I could move then I would bend you over and take you!" I yell, trying to veto my body's filibuster
She grins "Big words little man. You know what? I'll give you the chance to do it" walking over to me, she pulls me onto my chest and out of the corner of my eye, I see sharp teeth and a forked tongue longer than any single tongue should be outside a dog or giraffe Note to self: do not do oral or kiss her, we are quite attached to our face and dick
She sighs and a small ember of bright blue-white fire appears in her mouth before exploding into an inferno, which is shot at me, illuminating the whole cave
"I regret this! I regret this so much!" I yell, trying to squirm away but then a soothing feeling spreads across my back and I feel sensation return to my limbs, cuts and bruises I had forgotten about healing too. The fire stops and I stand up, looking at her smug face "Well? What were you saying about me not being able to breathe fire?"
I pull her into a hug, stunning her "Wh-What are you doing you hairless monkey?! Get off me!" She tries to claw my chest but I let her go "Thank you so much. I haven't felt this good in years! Is there anything I can- whoa!" she swipes the air in front of a blush on her face "DON'T TOUCH ME!"
I grin "Oh? I'm just showing my affection and appreciation for what you did!" I hug her again, her breasts squishing against my chest
She growls, digging her claws into my chest, drawing blood "What are you?! Ugly and stupid?! Let me go!"
"Not until you hug back to make it official" I say, wincing at the pain in my chest
She grumbles and hugs me, obviously trying to crush me "There! Now let me- Ahn~" pushing my luck, I grab her tail, her face turning bright red "L-L-Let th-that go- oh jewels that feels good~"
That gives me pause "Is having your tail grabbed really a pleasurable thing?"
"Of- Of course it is you hairless idiot! Wh-Why wouldn't it- Ohhhh~" She coos into my chest, falling limp
"Well, I said that I would bend you over and take you. Might as well follow through on my promise" I yank her tail, breaking the hug and bend her over, her tail still in my grip "D-Don't you dare you-" yank she whines and faceplants into the ground
"You okay?"
She looks up, her normally white and blue face now violet "Take. Me. Ape."
I shrug and un zip my pants when her tail wraps around my waist "Taking too long human, let me help"
With a few swift movements, my belt is in tatters, my oversized pants falling around my ankles "Oi! My belt!"
"Look, I'll make you a new belt tomorrow okay? Now hurry up before I change my mind" she growls, her tail draping over my shoulder
Not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty well endowed Not like a horse, and while that would be awesome, I'm pretty sure being kicked in the groin like that would hurt like a bitch
I line up my hips with hers, teasing her slit slowly. She moans loudly, spurring me on
I grab her side to steady myself, holding onto her tail for extra support "Yeesh, you nearly brought the cave down"
She growls at me, and I get an idea, one that'll be sure to make her scream
I lick my thumb and sliding myself in further, I rub my thumb over her anus, my action rewarded with a primal moan "Aahhh... yes... right there... AAAAHH! that feels so... Mmngghh..."
She moans more than my Ex... who is banging my sister now... I face-palm I am a stupid git if I didn't notice that
Her tail wraps around my neck "What's the h-hold-up?"
"Nothing just thinking about my sister" I reply
She snorts "So your kind mate siblings?"
I yank on her tail, eliciting a squeal from her "Nah, it turns out my Ex used me to get close to her..."
She hisses "Ouch, I actually feel sorry for you, well, if you're in all the way, I'm even mor-AAHH!" I thrust a little, cutting her insult short
Looking up, she almost purrs "Think later, fuck now"
I nod and pull out a little, rubbing some of her fluids on my middle finger "Well here's a 'Fuck you!' In more ways than one!" I jab my finger in, her screech of pleasure echoing around the cave
"Yes! Yes! Oh Sweet Dragon Mother this feels- AH!" I thrust in, halfway hilted "That's half..." I moan "Can you handle the other?"
She shivers "Th-that's half? It must be like a foot long!"
"35 and a half centimeters, actually" I say, pulling my finger out of her
"P-put it back! Put it- OH GEMS!" I shove my index in too, her voice going silent
"Who knew that dragons had sensitive rears?" I mutter to myself, thrusting in and out of her
Her tail starts to flail wildly so I grab it in my teeth, a loud yelp following "Whaph?"
Her face is completely violet with blushing "Hurts... Good... Hot..."
I grin around her tail, leaning over her "You like this?"
She nods, her teeth bared
Moving my hand up her body, I cup one of her modestly sized breasts, flicking the tit with my thumb
"Like this?"
She nods faster, opening one of her eyes "Do it..."
Pulling out of her, three fourths o the way in, I hilt myself, my belly button hand the only barrier between my balls and her butt
What she said next sounded like something from Skyrim or something, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.
I however repeat a single phrase "Fuck... Fuck you're tight... fuck..."
I start to pump in out of her, earning more gibberish from her as I reach my climax "Are you... close?"
She nods and her tail moves out of my grip and wraps around my waist, the tip on top of her rear "Y-yank it as hard as you can when you- AHN!"
I cum, instinctively pulling with all my might on her tail, her body shuddering before clamping down as hard as a vice on me, her tongue rolling out of her mouth and flicking in the air like a snake's
I feel my entire body stiffen as the most intense orgasm I've ever had rips through me like an irate Irishman at a bar that serves watered-down beer. She collapses, pulling me down with her, her tail holding me in place but I can feel it shiver as her body convulses beneath me
I black out
I wake up to someone hugging my waist "What the- what kinda girl did I me- Oh" I look down and breathing hotly on my neck is the dragon, asleep with a smile on her face
Probably won't last, but she looks so cute like this... almost makes up for how big a bitch she is...
I stroke her silky blue hair, running my fingers over her scales "They feel like a snake's"
She yawns, flashing sharp teeth Don't bite me, don't bite me, don't bite me...
her eyes focus on me, her tail tightening in an approximation of a hug "Good morning Clark"
"H- good morning..." I answer
She smiles, her teeth glistening "Seranum, that's my name"
"You said you didn't have a name"
"I didn't, I just made this one up. Now... I promised you a belt right?"
"Y-yeah?" I reply, scared at her turn of personality
She releases me, sitting up with a stretch "Don't be scared, I was just mean because at first you were an annoyance, but after I shrunk, I thought that you were attractive and... being isolated makes you get some strange ideas on how to court. I'm usually nice, or so my mother said. Anyways, are you going to go hunt with me?"
I nod, grabbing my shirt "I'm gonna need more clothes"
She shrugs "Okay, more leather, easy"
Yeah, easy
"How about I go out, and you... try and find my spare tunic, it should be in the corner" she says, walking out of the cave
"... I can't say that I don't like the change, but dang if it isn't scary. like being sent towards a star for a publicity stunt"
Author's Note
casualties of war: 10 pints of absinthe
7 asprin
10 tylenol
6 sparity fics (AU for rule 63 stuff)
1 angry green unicorn
100+ hours lost sleep
3 gallons of water
20 chocolate bars
5 bottles of tums
1 pair of glasses (i don't want to talk about it)
the entirety of my music collection
and much root beer for when I ran out of alcohol
