“But Applejaaaaack!” The little cream colored filly cried out to her older sister.
“No buts, missy! Ah don’t care if the whole school saw that movie! You ain’t goin!” The orange mare stomped her hoof down on the hardwood floor of their farmhouse to emphasize her point.
“But, but the whole school already did see it!” She argued again. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were talkin’ about it the whole day! Even Miss Cheerilee saw it! Me and Scootaloo are the only ones who didn’t go yet!”
Her whining bothered Applejack to no end, but she had to be strict. There was no way she would possibly let her sister Apple Bloom see One in the Hoof. Those sappy romance movies only rotted the mind. Besides, it was rated-R. There was no way she’d dare expose Apple Bloom to such trash at a young age.
“Big Maaaaaac! Tell Applejack to lemme go to the movie.” She gave her elder brother a pout, opening her large eyes as wide as she could. The red stallion pulled out his trademark hayseed that dangled from his lips.
“Well, the truth of the situation is that you, my dearest sister, are far too young to see this film. Its adult content will surely scar a mind of your age or lead you astray in our modern equestrian society.”
He placed the hayseed back in his mouth, a smile on his face. The two looked at him dumfounded, their jaws dropped and eyes bulging wide open. Big Macintosh sighed. “’Ah mean nnnope.” He walked away grumbling while the other two earth ponies shook their heads and regained their composure.
“Now where was I? Oh yeah! Apple Bloom, y’all can’t see that movie till `yer older. Now you go and play with yer friends and go crusading, or whatever it is y’all do every day.”
Applejack turned and trotted away, leaving her filly sister to wallow in her own self-pity, or whatever it was ponies wallowed in. Apple Bloom let out a sigh and left Sweet Apple Acres to visit her friend Scootaloo, who was more than likely waiting for her in the clubhouse.
“Hey Apple Bloom! What did your sister say about the movie?” An orange pegasus filly yelled out. She excitedly flapped her wings, rising a small bit into the air, a wide smile on her face. She’s waited to see this movie for months! Now that Apple Bloom got permission from Applejack, she can finally…
“Ma sister won’t let me go.” Apple Bloom gloomily replied to her friend.
“What?!” The pegasus dropped back onto her hooves, the smile fading completely. “What about…”
“Big Mac said no too.” Apple Bloom said, anticipating Scootaloo’s reaction. She dramatically fell to the floor of the clubhouse and let out a groan. “It ain’t fair! Why are the other ponies allowed to see it when `ah can’t?”
"Well, I'm not going by myself!" She cried to Apple Bloom. "That's so uncool! What would Rainbow Dash think if she saw me there alone?"
Apple Bloom groaned again. "Forget about Rainbow Dash! What're we gunna do now?"
Scootaloo walked over and looked down at her friend. “Well... we could always go see it anyway.”
“What?! We can’t do that!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Ah ain’t allowed to!”
Scootaloo turned away. “Ok I understand. I just didn’t realize I was friends with a filly.” She waited for it to reach Apple Bloom.
“What did y’all just call me?”
“Ah called youuh fill-eee.” Scootaloo replied over her shoulder. A manipulative smile crossed her lips. She had her right where she wanted her.
“I’m a big pony!” The cream coloured filly puffed out her chest awkwardly.
“Oh? Well a ‘big pony’ wouldn’t let somepony get in the way of watching the greatest movie ever!” Scootaloo concluded to her clueless friend. Yup. Right where she wanted her.
Before she knew it, Apple Bloom was back in the house telling Applejack about a sleepover Sweetie Belle was having. She felt bad for lying, but the overwhelming joy knowing that she was going to see the movie surpassed it.
It was the perfect lie. Sweetie Belle had been sick for the past few days, leaving Rarity to take care of her while their parents were on another vacation. Because Rarity was so busy, Applejack and her friends hadn’t had a chance to see her or even hear about Sweetie Belle’s illness. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were set, so it seemed. They only thing they hadn’t accounted for was the movie theater itself.
When the fillies arrived at the movie theater, they began to squeal in excitement. They rushed inside to find a massive variety of movie posters: Saving Private Pansy, Million Dollar Foal and Trot the Line were only a few of the cinematic wonders that were coming in the near future.
“Moonstruck?” Apple Bloom’s eyes met a poster with a mare jumping pointlessly in front of a large photograph of the moon. The Manehattan skyline shone brightly, if somewhat gimmicky, in the background. “This some sort of documentary bout Princess Luna?”
“Huh?” Scootaloo walked over to her friend. “Oh that? No it’s a movie with Cher.”
Apple Bloom cringed at the thought of Cher and fled the poster before its ugliness rotted her very soul. “Ah think ah’d rather see the documentary.”
They eagerly darted to the ticket booth, a small bag of bits in each of their mouths. They happily exchanged smiling glances and dropped to money on the counter.
“Two tickets for One in the Hoof please!” Scootaloo’s voiced called up to the dark blue stallion behind the counter. Without any thought, he printed out two tickets and took them in his mouth. He placed the tickets on the counter and began to grab the bits, the mindless routine of his eight-hour shift catching up to him. Suddenly his eyes met the two excited fillies that reached for their tickets.
“Oh sweet Celestia!” The stallion dropped the money and swiped the tickets back. “You two are far too young to see such a… a…” he searched his head for a word that wouldn’t get him in trouble. “For such an interesting film.”
He printed out two different tickets and handed them to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, who grabbed them fervently.
“The Super Magical Wondrous Friendship Adventures of Pinkles the Poodle?” Scootaloo looked at the ticket she held in her hoof with great disgust. “No thanks.”
Apple Bloom looked at her ticket even more frightened. MOONSTRUCK. She gave out a scream and threw it to the ground as hard as she physically could. Apple Bloom ran screaming from the theater, leaving Scootaloo to pick up the money.
Outside, Apple Bloom had given up on her dreams to watch the movie. It seemed Celestia just wouldn’t let her win this. She sat on her flank, staring off into the distance. She heard Scootaloo come from behind her.
“It just ain’t fair!” Apple Bloom brought a hoof down angrily. It let out a loud clop noise as it struck the paved sidewalk they sat upon. “Let’s just go back to Sweet Apple Acres. Y’all can sleep over my house tonight.”
She started to get up and head home, defeated. Scootaloo couldn’t let this happen. She’d waited far too long and came too close to give up now. She just needed to come up with a way to get Apple Bloom to try harder…
“Our cutie marks!” She yelled out suddenly. Apple Bloom turned to face her, glancing at her flank to see what her friend was talking about.
“What about them?” Apple Bloom inquired.
“What if our special talent is being movie critics!” The orange pegasus replied, a smile on her face. She was incredibly confident that Apple Bloom would cave in. Especially if she could possibly get her cutie mark. She’d caved in before. Like that time they played truth or dare… “Apple Bloom. We have to see that movie. It’s a matter of getting our cutie marks.” she said, a serious look on her young face.
Apple Bloom looked at her, biting down on her lip. “Ok, fine. But how’re we gonna get in there?”
Scootaloo put a clever smile on her face. “Leave it to me.”
“Next please.” Ticket Master said aloud. He waited calmly for another patron to walk to the ticket booth. “Next please!” He called out, louder this time. Ticket Master waited, growing increasingly impatient. He looked down at his forehoof to check his watch when suddenly he heard a bang at the ticket counter. He looked up to find a large brown overcoat standing before him, the pony inside completely hidden. It wore an oversized Stetson hat that covered its face, only a silhouette visible.
“Two tick - *ahem* - Two tickets to One in the Hoof, please.” The mysterious pony cleared its throat to make it sound deeper than it had originally started. Ticket Master smiled, detecting the situation immediately.
“Two tickets huh? For one pony?” The pony before him began to wobble slightly as if in confusion. He could hear a voice softly whispering. Ticket Master only smiled more.
“Uh, make that one ticket, sir.” The pony fished inside its overcoat for a bag of bits and dropped it on the counter.
“Sorry fillies, but your bits aren’t good here. You know you can’t see this movie.”
“Uhm, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The pony began nervously.
“Look, just take off your coat and I won’t have to call your parents.” Ticket Master reached over the counter to remove the pony’s hat.
“Umm, sir? Uhh, What are you doing! I wanna speak to your manager!” The pony cried frantically as it tried to turn and escape Ticket Master’s grasp.
Ticket Master swiped off the hat revealing a confused mare with buck teeth. She glared at him ferociously. Ticket Master smiled sheepishly and produced a ticket for the film. “F-free of charge, ma’am. Hope you enjoy your movie.” She walked away from him angrily muttering her discontent under her breath.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watched the whole scene unfold while waiting in line for the ticket booth.
“How are we gonna get in there if he’s checkin ponies!” Apple Bloom said, disappointed. She tore off the large fake mustache that sat on her upper lip and threw it to the ground. “He’ll never believe us with these costumes.”
Scootaloo noticed the pout growing on her friends face. “Ughhhhh, fine.” She scoffed and removed the large rainbow-streaked clown wig that sat upon her purple mane. “Dressing older was a dumb idea anyway.”
The sun had long since set, leaving a glowing moon in its wake. Ticket Master looked out the window of the movie theater waiting for his shift to end. It had been at least ten hours since he clocked in. Normally he would have been let out about four hours prior, but Cheap Seats had called out sick, leaving him to cover the shift. Only a few hours left…
He checked his watch and sighed heavily. It had just turned nine, meaning that there was one more showing of One in the Hoof and another late night Pinkles the Poodle before freedom, both in half an hour.
“Hey!” He snapped back to reality and looked down from the counter to find Scootaloo standing before him. She wore a kind smile on her face. “What’s up?” The orange filly chirped at the stallion.
“Uhhh, well I’m waiting to get out of here. I’m beat.” He yawned and stretched his shoulders. “What’re you doing here?”
“Oh, I just thought I’d say hi. You seemed kinda lonely.”
Ticket Master smiled at the filly’s thoughtfulness. Suddenly he stopped. “Wait…” he began to rack his brain. Something didn’t add up. “Weren’t you here with a f…”
“Apple Bloom! Now!” The filly cried out, startling the stallion behind the counter.
Apple Bloom hopped up from her position crouching in front of the counter with a pocket watch dangling from her mouth. Without hesitation, she slowly swung it back-and-forth before his eyes. In his confusion, Ticket Master eyed the golden watch swinging before him, its shiny casing glowing with light reflecting from the fluorescent bulbs above.
He tried to look away, but instead found himself continuously moving his eyes back to the watch, following its path in the air.
“You’re getting sleepy…” The orange filly was beginning to say now. Ticket Master felt his eyes grow heavy. He was pretty tired…
“Veeeeeeery sleepy…” He closed his eyes slowly, darting them open every now and then attempting to keep consciousness.
“Uh, yeah! Yer gettin’ sleepy!” His eyes shot open. The cream coloured filly’s accent seemed to take him away from the watch.
“Apple Bloom, shut up! You’ll wake him up!”
“Sorry Scootaloo…”
“You’re getting sleepy again…” Whatever semblance of consciousness he had regained from Apple Bloom’s interruption was long gone by now. He found himself drifting away and finally decided to give in.
BAM!
The fillies watched Ticket Master’s head smash onto the counter as if he were comatose. He was snoring loudly, a drip of drool already forming at the edge of his lips. Scootaloo smiled widely at Apple Bloom who trotted to her side.
“When I clap my hooves together, you will print my friend and I two tickets! For One in the Hoof.” Scootaloo calmly commanded her victim. She turned to Apple Bloom. “You ready to see the greatest movie of all time?!” Apple Bloom squeed eagerly and turned her attention to the ticket counter.
“Can’t… let… you… One in the Hoof! ... Too… risqué for… fillies…” The sleeping pony called out unconsciously. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged glances and screamed out in frustration. As they turned to huddle up outside, Ticket Master continued snoring, smiling faintly as he did so.
After that power nap, Ticket Master was wide awake. He kept his eyes open for the two pesky fillies that couldn’t seem to take no for an answer. But there was no way he’d let them see that movie and be responsible for rotting their innocent, little minds. His eyes scanned the layout of the movie theater, stopping at every location they could be hiding. The last viewing of One in the Hoof had started a short while ago, so he knew that the two were bound to try again.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed two silhouettes standing outside. Ticket Master smiled victoriously. Too easy… he thought to himself. He stared at them for several minutes waiting for them to make a move for the theater. What are they planning?
One of the silhouettes fell against the window, revealing it was, in fact, a two dimensional cut out of the cream coloured filly. Ticket Master began to worry, wondering where the fillies really were. He hopped the counter and began to look around the theater lobby, hoping to find them hiding. As long as they weren’t in the actual movie…
“Oh Celestia no.” He spoke to himself. He had recently run to the bathroom, leaving his post unsupervised. They could have snuck in while he was… occupied. Sweat poured down his face as his eyes searched every last corner of the lobby for the fillies.
“Shhhh…” Ticket Master’s ears perked up. He could’ve sworn he heard a pony, no a filly, make a shushing noise. He turned abruptly to find several bits sitting atop the ticket counter. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the two fillies creeping stealthily toward the film, crawling on the floor and ducking behind various planters and garbage cans that made up the lobby.
"You two get out of here now!” He screamed. They jumped into the air in surprise and darted out of the movie theater, stopping only to get their bits.
The movie was now almost over and Ticket Master was standing beside the counter. He glared at the doors waiting for their return. There was no way they’d give up so easily. He hadn’t moved in almost an hour, silently guarding the lobby from unwanted intrusion.
“CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo burst through the doors and dashed toward the theater where the movie was playing. Ticket Master attempted to block them, but they quickly maneuvered around him by spreading away in different directions. He fell to the floor after attempting to swipe Scootaloo and watched them approach the movie.
“Noooo!” He bellowed as he rose back to his hooves. He galloped at full speed toward them, gaining at their heels.
“Apple Bloom! Maneuver 2-3 Echo!” Scootaloo yelled to her friend. She nodded and fell to the floor, letting out a small, pained yelp. Ticket Master stopped at her side and looked down at Apple Bloom. Her mane was disheveled from the fall, knocking her trademarked ribbon from her head.
“Kid, are you ok?” He asked her. She turned to face Ticket Master and put on a pout. He felt his heart beginning to explode.
“Ah don’t know.Ah think I hurt ma hoof.” She raised her right front hoof into the air and wobbled it gently, wincing as she did so. The frown on her face only deepened; her eyes becoming teary. Ticket Master began to feel bad for the filly, even going as far as to pick her up off the ground.
“Why won’t ya let us see the movie, mister?” She asked innocently, the pout remaining on her face. He looked down into her eyes, feeling the gaze warm his heart with its overwhelming cuteness.
“I…” He tried to look away. “I… I… I can’t take it.” He fell to his haunches. “You two can go see the movie. Just please stop being so cute.” Apple Bloom instantly stopped pouting and smiled at Ticket Master. She softly patted his mane and joined Scootaloo in rushing into the theater.
“Finally!” Scootaloo cried, overjoyed that they had finally made it. “It may be the end, but at least we can see some of it.”
The two fillies trotted casually to a pair of free seats and sat down. A brown stallion wearing a doctor’s coat appeared on the screen.
“Miss Jones?” He said stoically to a bedridden mare nearby. Another stallion was leaning on her bedpost, lovingly clasping her hooves in his.
“Yes Doctor?” She seemed nervous. “Do you have the test results back?”
“Yes, I do.” He began flipping through papers attached to a clipboard. “You don’t have Pony Pox.” He concluded with a smile on his face. The couple in the hospital bed seemed overjoyed and hugged. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged disgusted looks.
“Is this the right movie?” Apple Bloom asked her friend. She was met with several hushing sounds from other ponies.
“But I have some bad news…” The doctor began again. The couple stopped their celebration. “Miss. Jones, you have cancer.”
“What?! But I was tested for cancer! You said I didn’t have it!”
“You didn’t let me finish. You don’t have regular cancer. No no no no. You have… ZOMBIE CANCER!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sat, bored and confused. The “greatest movie ever” seemed to be a bust.
Suddenly the screen faded to another seen set several days in the future. The mare was at home, lying in a bed. The stallion that was previously by her side was now entering her room, a lit candle illuminating the dark room the dying mare was lying in.
“I know we never got the chance to get married” he began, placing the candle down. “But it doesn’t mean we can’t…. enjoy the Honeymoon.”
Scootaloo and Apple bloom made gagging noises as the two ponies leaned into a kiss. A funky bass line began playing, setting the romantic tone for the scene.
“Scootaloo, what’s he doing…” Apple Bloom began to ask, confused at what she was seeing. The stallion was jumping onto the bed, making out ferociously with the mare. She moaned loudly.
“What’s he doing with that lamp… oh sweet Celestia…” Apple Bloom stared at the screen slack-jawed. Scootaloo was cowering in her chair, unable to comprehend the horrifying sexual acts the ponies were committing before her.
“Oh Randall, maybe we should get the dog up here…”
With that, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom fled the room screaming, leaving the horrors behind them. They sat in a corner huddled together, trying to unsee what they had just recently seen, burying their heads in their hooves. The two shook in a semi-catatonic state for nearly half an hour when the movie let out, ponies pouring outside.
“I can’t believe that zombie had six heads…” One pony said. “Truly a testament to true love…” “I wish my husband would fly all the way to Las Pegasus for me…” “That dog sure was hot…” Out of the crowd of voices, the pair suddenly heard a familiar one.
“Apple Bloom? What’re y’all doin here? Weren’t you and Scootaloo sleepin over Sweetie Belle’s?”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked up from their hooves to find Applejack in front of them. She wore a bemused expression on her face, clearly surprised to see her sister and friend at the movie theater. Rainbow Dash stood next to her with a wing draped over Applejack and a smile on her face.
“Hey Squirt, you didn’t try to see that movie, did you?” She asked Scootaloo. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances, knowing that the jig was up.
“We’re sorry guys.” Scootaloo said, dropping her head.
“Yeah, we shoulda listened to you, Applejack. That movie sure wasn’t meant for us to see.” Apple Bloom shuddered at the thought of the scene they had walked in on. Worse than that time Scootaloo and her played truth and dare…
“Well, if yer really sorry, then `ah guess you wouldn’t mind helping Big Macintosh and I buck apples tomorrow instead of playin with your friends.” Applejack replied sternly, yet softly. She placed a kind hoof on her sister’s shoulder and gave her a forgiving smile.
“Wait, what are you two doing here?” Scootaloo asked out of the blue. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other.
“Well, I went to visit Sweet Apple Acres today, when Applejack told me about the movie you two were trying to see. Since she’s always working, I asked her out to have a nice movie night with me.” Applejack grinned toward the fillies and gave a playful punch to Rainbow Dash who took it, blushing.
“Lemme get this straight… you two are on a date?” Apple Bloom asked, giving a confused look to the mares. Rainbow Dash smiled and squeezed her wing tighter around Applejack. The love she felt for the earth pony next to her was extreme. She had waited a long time to get the courage to ask her out on a date. And it all seemed so natural! It was a perfect night! She opened her mouth to reply when suddenly she felt Applejack break out from under her. Applejack fell to the floor laughing, tears pouring down her cheeks as she gasped for air.
“You two fillies are gonna kill me, ah swear. Just like y'all, we were having a friend’s night out.” She stood up and wrapped her hooves around Apple Blooms neck, giving her a noogie. “Heh, a date. Just wait til Big Mac hears that, he’ll sure get a kick out of it! C’mon you two, let’s all get outta here. Scootaloo, you can sleep over our house tonight if’nya want.”
“Alright!” She cheered happily. The three trotted slowly out of the movie theater, laughing and chatting.
Rainbow Dash stood alone in the same spot. A look of shock remained on her face as she watched the three leave the movie theater toward Sweet Apple Acres. She sighed heavily, feeling a warm tear drop down her cheek.
“Friend’s night out…”
