Chapters An Awesome Birthday Present
It was another regular morning for Fluttershy. Waking up to an unpleasant alarm of scolding, and having her hair messed up as her lagomorph pestilence whines for a decent breakfast was a typical way to introduce another dreary day. Breakfast is only one of the conundrums she had to tolerate before her real day starts. Angel is a pick rabbit, and almost never asks for the same food twice. Unlike Fluttershy's other, more obedient animal sidekicks, the bunny frequently demands something either difficult, time-consuming, expensive, or dangerous to make. Today he demanded carrot cake. Even Fluttershy knew that carrot cake was an awkward meal to have for breakfast and attempted to talk him out of it. Whether it was saying "please" or soft talking, Angel was as stubborn as a pothole on a dirt road, and immediately threw a tantrum, as well as sharp ceramic objects.
While Fluttershy was dodging the projectiles, the door knocked and she hopped over to answer it. Twilight Sparkle was paying an early morning visit. She usually wasn't even ready for the day at this time, so this seemed important.
"Hey Fluttershy," introduced Twilight Sparkle as she started dictating from a card." Um, what's, um, up? Yes! 'What's up!' I wanted to ask, 'What's up?'"
"Um, is it the sky? Is it the clouds? Is it Angel ripping my ears off?" guessed Fluttershy.
"No silly! It's a new form of talking. It makes vocabulary and sentence structuring simpler," explained Twilight.
Fluttershy drew a blank.
"Never mind. Oh, and did you say that Angel was ripping your ears off?" asked Twilight. She took a look to find a nice, tattered, red pair of ears with a dangerous little white fur ball attached to it. "Doesn't that hurt?"
"You get used to it. Come on in! I am, apparently, making carrot cake," welcomed Fluttershy.
"Why are you making carrot cake for breakfast? And how do you know how to bake stuff?" questioned Twilight as another figure broke into the house.
"Good morning!" excited Pinkie Pie. "Did I hear 'bake stuff?' I can help with baking! As you know, I know a lot about baking, and I really like to bake! Did you know that the best thing that goes with cake is chocolate frosting? Well, maybe chocolate frosting won't be good for a CARROT cake, but we can work something out! Oh oh, after the carrot cake, we should make a tiramisu! I have a really nice rum I would like to test with it! Wait, do you drink? If you don't, I probably shouldn't help make tiramisu, but that is obvious, but we can make cheese cake! Maybe your mouse friends will like it! I know you and I will, but maybe some other friends will like it! NO! We should make carrot cupcakes! I have a very good secret recipe to make it! Did you know there is a flour producing company named Rainbow Pony Flesh ? I wonder why they would name it that! I mean, it's not like I actually capture ponies and bake the, I mean, that won't be fun! I have too many friends to do that, and the cupcake would be to gross. Hey, do you like brownies, because I have the perfect ingre-"
"Um, Pinkie Pie, you're hurting my head with this, um, incisive jabbering, I mean, no offense," said Fluttershy while politely trying to quiet Pinkie.
"Oh, sorry for the wall-of-text! I didn't mean to be talking for more than three sentences!" apologized Pinkie Pie.
"Excuse me?" asked both Fluttershy and Twilight.
"Oh never mind. Is that Angel? And is he defiling your ears?" questioned Pinkie.
"Oh, I almost forgot! Ow!" responded Fluttershy as the set up the ingredients to make a carrot cake. "Angel, would you be a good bunny and sit at the table for mommy?"
"Are you calling yourself MY mommy?" raged Angel as he continued to box Fluttershy's ears. The ponies decided to not even think about how Angel managed to talk, let alone rage.
"We came to give you something, because we know that your birthday is in a week. However, your present expires this weekend, so we have to give it to you now," informed Twilight Sparkle.
"Is it a soothing bruise lotion?" guessed Fluttershy. Pinkie jumped out holding a ticket at her face.
"Nope, something BETTER! It's a ticket-of-honor from the Princess herself! You're going on vacation my friend!" surprised Pinkie Pike. "Nope, no money needed! The Princess has payed for everything from travel to payed restrooms, so you can have a free first-class vacation around Equestria for a week!"
Fluttershy attempted to remain indifferent, only to fail as a massive grin flooded her face. "Wow! Are you joking? You're joking, right? Thank you thank you thank you! You are so awesome, that I could scream to the top of my lungs!" Fluttershy uttered a "yay" quieter than the ticking of her kitty-clock. She then asked, "What about Angel and the animals? Who will look after them?"
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie burst out, "We will! All of us: Pinkie, Apple Jack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and me! We can take care of your mongrel, I mean, precious bunny." Fluttershy aimed a concerning evil facial expression at Angel as shy trotted to her room to pack her bags. The two guests warned her, on her way up, that the first train would leave in two hours, so they would have to hurry.
Fluttershy packed everything. Toothpaste, toothbrush, tooth floss, tooth guard, tooth filler, tooth pick, other pointless tooth-related items, sun screen, insect repellant, an umbrella, a towel, a beach blanket, inflatable floatation arm tube things, goggles, a camera (what?), and a brush. She was ready for the weekend of her life, as shy charged downstairs, out the door, to reach the train station.
Angel sat surprised. "One week without Fluttershy to torture?" he thought. As Twilight and Pinkie bid Fluttershy good-bye and gave her blessings, they turned around to to see another concerning evil smile on the face of that furry white fungus. The two ponies started thinking second thoughts.
Fluttershy was excited to embark on her very first vacation. She trotted through town to the train station with a relatively unprecedented extremity of joy. Shy hopped and skipped, as well as float like an angel over incoming obstacles. Flowers blossomed as her hoof steps beat the ground, and birds appeared in the air, whistling in celebration in hope of Fluttershy's satisfactory holiday. The day felt like none other. The sun shined on her back, singeing any chilling feeling that would usually haunt the timid pegasus' average day. As Fluttershy continued trotting, a crowd emerged. She could see the station over the sea of heads. Enjoyment and relaxation was never so close. causing Fluttershy and her animal comrades to break into song, only to stop as the timid creature's ego returned to the shadows after a strong ovation from the crowding audience. Things started going downhill again. Oblivious to the fact that the crowd was cheering to her song, Fluttershy crouched and slinked under the typhoon of ponies, hoping to avoid any unwanted attention.
After finally approaching the gates to the platform, the line leading to it moved slower than a snail who's tail was caught on tar. The vacation looked to far away now, as the train was scheduled to depart in less than 15 minutes. The only thing that saved her from a disappointing weekend was unwanted attention, as a pony focused everyone's eyes on the pegasus who had sung a wonderful song. Fluttershy felt humiliated until a pony caught sight of her special tickets.
"What are you doing here?" asked the stranger in a tone that strangely frightened our little protagonist.
"Oh, what did I do? What did I do? Was it something I said? Whatever it is, I am sorry. Did I take your spot in line?" asked Fluttershy in her frightened tone. The stranger gave a straight face for a dramatic few seconds, only to relieve the situation with an almost cliche change of mood.
The stranger informed happily, "You should be in the front! You have VIP tickets!" The other ponies looked, cheered, and made way for Fluttershy a direct route to the ticket booth. Our hero gave a glance in both directions to see if the ponies around here were truly happy, or sarcastic, and then hopped ahead of the genuinely joyful crowd. She finally reached the gate.
"Hmm. Your name ma'am." ordered the mare at the ticket booth. Fluttershy gave her name and showed her special tickets, receiving her boarding passes without being charged. She marched on down to the platform to board the train. At the entry doors, there was a conductor checking tickets. Ponies passed him, had their tickets stamped, and headed right into the cabin. The conductor gave a serious glare at Fluttershy, waiting impatiently for her to come and get her tickets stamped. She walked over, hoping for a smooth session with the stern stallion.
"Um, uh, a ticket to Las Caballitas?" announced Fluttershy timidly. The conductor took a good long look at the ticket. He glanced at Fluttershy, then back at the tickets, and then back again. It took almost five minutes before he replied.
"Ma'am, you are not supposed to be here," informed the conductor.
"I am pretty sure this is the right place. I mean, I have these VIP tickets, so I should be allowed to board this train," informed Fluttershy.
"I am pretty sure this is not your train," argued the conductor.
Fluttershy was already becoming impatient as she was certain this was the right transport. Her assertive ego took over and she argued, "Sir, this is the right train. The ticket shows the right time and the right train number. This is definitely the right train, so if you would excuse me, I have a vacation to enjoy!" The conductor blocked her path and gave a good long look at the tickets. The whistles of the train started to blow, and the cars started inching foreword. Being as annoyed as he was, he agreed that this was her train.
"Your seat is at the back," informed the conductor as he pointed to what looked like a rickety caboose.
"But I am a VIP. Shouldn't I be seated at the front?" asked Fluttershy as her tensions started to return.
The conductor gave an ominous chuckle and said, "Look kid, by the time we finish this damn argument, the train would have reached its destination, so now beat it, and either get the hell out of here, or get on the filthy cabo- I mean, the VIP seating car." Fluttershy was angry and sad at the same time. Only Rainbow Dash was supposed to speak in a stern way to her. This was an outrage, also considering the fact that no one had before swore at Fluttershy. As tears started to fill her eyes, she left in pursuit of the caboose which was almost at the end of the platform. Maybe this was the worst of it. After all, that conductor was just a cruel bully.
After hopping into the caboose, the room was just as expected. Spiders crawled on the walls, most Fluttershy could identify as venomous. Rats scurried along the rocking floor, and the cooing of pigeons suppressed the sound of the rumbling wheels. The place was a dusty slum, but at least there were some animals to communicate with. The pigeons hopped from their perches and greeted the sad pegasus, while a spider spun on a web, "Hello." Fluttershy had made some friends, until a loud groan was heard past a pile of crates. Fluttershy started to shiver as a large, drunk, dragon emerged and eyed at her. Fluttershy was almost in a state of paralysis as the dragon grumbled and ordered for her to stay on the other side of the caboose. The dragon was the workman who was in charge of reversing the rain and connecting cars. As he shrunk back to sleep, Fluttershy scurried to the back corner to hide under a basket. The vacation didn't look too good now.
At the cottage, Pinkie and Twilight got their first taste of mother goose life style as the "helpers" were gone trying to finish their domestic chores. Pinkie had made the carrot cake that Angle had ordered for, only to rage and toss the cake out of the window after finding out that the cake was actually carrot cake rather than some random cake with carrot on it. However, unlike what the menace was used to, Twilight stood up to punish Angel for naughty behavior.
"Now I can see how Fluttershy is so shy. You are living hell! And it has only been two hours!" angered Twilight. "No matter, you WILL eat that cake, whether you like it or not. You asked for it, and you will get it!" Twilight grabbed Angel by the ears and tossed him outside. Pinkie grabbed a stick from a tree and gave it to her, as she prepared herself to whip the bastard if he did not cooperate. Though expecting for him to start eating the soiled cake, Angel smacked the stick out of the angry unicorn's hooves, grabbed it, and started whipping her instead. After the dusty tussle, Angel gained control over Twilight, and actually forced her to eat the cake. Pinkie reacted to help the jack ass unicorn, grabbed a bigger stick, and thwacked both of them.
Pinkie asked in surprise, "What are you doing Twilight? Did you just let a bunny overpower you? Wow, and I though Fluttershy was a doormat. I cannot tell whether or not you are a unicorn or a mule, no offense."
"None taken," said a random mule as everypony stopped to see where the reply came from.
Pinkie then ignored the reply and continued ordering, "And you are a unicorn? Why aren't you using your magic unicornness to shove that cake down his throat. You will not let an arrogant bunny get the best of you, and especially you, Twilight!"
After almost a whole half hour of fighting over a stubborn bunny, Twilight uttered, "Oh forget it! I give up! This bunny is a nuisance! We had better get a vacation after Fluttershy's vacation, because I think I beat my record at quickest exhaustion."
Pinkie asked, "And what about Angel? We can't let him just party. At least teach the creature a lesson and make Fluttershy's life easier."
"You didn't think I was just going to leave, now, did you?" asked Twilight in an evil tone. "I am just done supervising this rodent. I have a better idea!" Twilight took out a role of duck tape. They both looked at each other, then at Angel, who was becoming suspicious. The two schemers started to chuckle ominously.
The night was a long one. The idea of a dragon being in the caboose, as well as his obnoxious snoring, prevented even the slightest amount of rest for our little protagonist. The car bumped over the spikes on the rail, wile past the door formal laughter was heard. Well, being in the filthy outhouse of the train must have only been an inconvenience, as Fluttershy would soon find out as the train came to a stop.
Fluttershy got up to look out of the window. The sun seemed brighter and hotter. Outside, she could hear cheering, music, and celebration. When it was time, she disembarked the train and went out to explore. Fluttershy came out of the gate and she saw a massive parade. Ponies danced with trumpets in their mouths, while others shook maracas and clicked castanets. The dresses the dancers wore were immensely colourful, as she could see zig-zaged lines, each coloured in forms of green, red, yellow, and orange. The buildings were decorated with streamers and banners, almost as if Pinkie Pie took a stroll though here. The placed seemed to be slightly male-oriented, as none of the mares took centre stage in the various songs that were sung. With all this commotion and drama, Fluttershy was not sure where to even start. That was when a handsome stallion popped in front of her and caught her attention.
"Bienvenido, senorita bonitisima! You look like you need some assistance trekking through this muy fabuloso lugar! That is espanol for 'magical sanctuary'!" charmed the stallion. As awkward as his appearance into the scene was, he was indeed devilishly handsome. His face seemed to be incinerating the area he faced with his luscious mustache, while his eyebrows acted like magnets pulling Fluttershy's eyes into his direction stronger than gravity was to light. The stallion seemed confident in himself, but Fluttershy only felt more awkward as she discovered that he was ready with a very nice tuxedo and a rose in his pocket. Did he appear like this to most mares he met for the first time?
"Um, hello sir. Don't you look, um, handsome?" muttered Fluttershy being as confuse as any mare who would confront a handsome stallion only a mere three seconds after passing the gate into the city.
"Would you like some help with your bags senorita? I know this city like the back of my ear, and I can carry you to the hotel you plan on sleeping in, mi amor!" charmed the stallion.
"Um, ok? Mi amor? What is your name again?" asked the confused pegasus. She had no idea what "mi amor" meant, or how he would manage to carry her bags and her at the same time. The only was to humor him was, well, to humor him.
"Mi nombre es El Caballo Magnifico! Now let me carry your bags. Oye! Taxi! Give this caballita bonita a comfortable ride to El Hotel a la Mar!" ordered El Magnifico as a taxi halted immediately for Fluttershy's boarding. "El Hotel a la Mar is one of the best hotels in Equestria. This will not be disappointing like your horribly uncomfortable ride in that patty wagon. If you are wondering why I appeared so suddenly, it is because I was the pony sent by her majesty to pick you up. You have a nice room looking to the west onto the sea! Sit on the balcony for the nice hot ocean breeze, or lay in your bed for the cooling indoor air. Room service is immediate and elite! The apples served are golden and delicious, as well as golden delicious if you like that. You have 24 hour access to the restricted elites-only sector of the beach, so you can have nice clean relaxation during the day, as well as clean water to swim in. Are you ready to enjoy your first day here?"
All this seemed exciting, until one thing struck Fluttershy. This was the first of her seven day vacation (Princess Celestia was nice enough to make the earlier travel night not included in the week-long plan), and she would not have time to enjoy all of these supposed enjoyments. "How about I leave my luggage at the train station. I am only staying here for the day, so it won't matter if I bring it to the hotel. In fact, can you just show me around, I mean, if you don't mind?" asked Fluttershy.
As devilishly handsome and charming as he was, he seemed to also be devilishly lazy. Originally expecting a quick drop off at the hotel and then the rest of the day for himself, he was reluctant to put away his time to show Fluttershy around, as he so explained, "Um, sorry. I have some work to do now, so, call me later. Adios!" He then ran of behind a building, where she caught sight of some mares who had been waiting to continue their mingling session with El Magnifico.
"Well, that was nice of him, I guess," Fluttershy said to herself. "So, what should I do first, now that I have no guide." Fluttershy walked out of the procession to find the town square. There was a nice mix of Moorish and indigenous culture in the clothing and the architecture. There was almost impossible to walk more than five feet without catching sight of an arch and a dome. Market stands covered all the corners of the squares, with every pony yelling out deals and purchase options. Fluttershy went to explore the market, and perhaps do some shopping. Ponies were selling hoof knitted sweaters, necklaces, bracelets, light drums, crafted gems, and other souvenirs. At the end of the market, there was a winery. Fluttershy has had plenty of apple cider back in Ponyville, but it seemed that it was time to taste something new.
"Come, come all! All you folk from distant land! May I introduce to you all a taste from an ancient land!" announced an indigenous brewer. This brewery was small, but the smells were inviting, and the windows were stain-glassed, giving a nice vineyard feeling to the building. Several tourists had gathered here in hope of tasting what the brewer announced to be some of the best wine in Equestria. While the tourists chattered amongst themselves, the floor was teaming with workers moving quickly, yet gracefully, to tend to each barrel and fill the bottles for sale. The brewer started the tour through the complex and began explaining each role of the workers and the components. He, however, warned about his recipe being top secret. "Move now! We have got not all day! I will take you to room that bottles all the wine to be sent to all the thirsty mouths of Equestria.
The bottling floor was also teaming with life. To avoid making the jobs too boring, all the bottling was hoof work. No machines, no computers, all mind and muscle work. Workers rushed with bottles, while others brought funnels to pour the fermented wine into the glass containers. There were other ponies who would vacuum seal the bottles to avoid spoiling. One of the workers dropped a glass on accident, and the mist sprayed onto the faces of the tourists, who all enjoyed the minute taste of this liquid pleasure. Workers came in assistance with brooms and mops to clear the mess in no time whatsoever. As the tour began to enter the sample room for all the tourist to sample the wine, all seemed to go well, until Fluttershy sneezed. All the tourists, the workers, and the brewer halted all activity and focused attention on the confused and humiliated pegasus. A large uniform gasp struck the hall.
"What have you done?" panicked the brewer.
"Um, what have I done?" asked Fluttersy, knowing something bad was about to happen.
"You have contaminated hall with disgusting ejection of nasal fluid! You have ruined pristine conditions for fermentation! What do you have to say for yourself?" angered the brewer while everyone else also gave an angered face at Fluttershy.
"Um, gesundheit?" asked Fluttershy. In an almost comical way, Fluttershy was booted out of the brewery, quite literally. She looked around to reorient herself until she saw something strange. It looked like a pony in a black spandex uniform who was heading for the brewery. It almost looked like he was about to rob the brewery, or even... Fluttershy followed the suspicious pony to try and put a stop to an upcoming series of shenanigans.
Fluttershy promptly followed the "burglar" onto the roof of the brewer to catch him and question him. Her first attempt seemed successful.
"Um, excuse me sir? Can you please tell me why you are on the roof of a building?" politely asked Fluttershy. The mysterious pony stuttered, shivered, and sweat. Out of the whim to try and get her to not rat him out, he started to talk.
"It's not what it looks like," explained the pony. "Have you been in the brewery before?"
"Um, yes? I was kicked out afterwards for sneezing," responded Fluttershy.
"I knew it!" announced the pony.
"Knew what?" asked Fluttershy.
"I am trying to put a stop to these crimes. Do you know why you were kicked out for sneezing? Wines are usually fine in a sneezy environment. Obviously, something is up, and I discovered that the brewer as developed a poisoned wine to try and intoxicate all of Equestria so he can take over the land," explained the pony.
"Isn't that a little, you know, far fetched?" asked Fluttershy. Almost immediately after the comment, the pony shot a dart at a nearby tourist, causing him to drop dead. Fluttershy saw the dead tourist, but not the pea shooter that the pony was using. "Why, you are right!"
"But of course my pink haired friend. In fact, how about you help me stop these injustices," requested the pony.
"Hmm, ok! This sounds important. Just promise that there is really something bad happening here," ordered Fluttershy.
"Oh, believe me! There will be something bad here," reassured the pony as he gave an evil chuckle away from the attention of the characters. "Now, first, you must enter through this top window and get at the buttons on the vault. The code is 1-5-5-6-2-3-8-4-8-4-6-2-7-8-8-5-7-2-3-4-0-8-3-4-7-5-2-4-7-8-6-6-8-3-6-3-1-2-4-2-2-1-4-7-3-8-5-3-6-8-9-6-4-7-5-9-0-7-6-5-4-5-6-3-2-1-2-7-6-5-3-4-2-7-7. Do you think you can remember that? Open the vault and I will attain the secret formula."
"I'll try to remember," responded Fluttershy as she hopped into the vault hall. Guards patrolled the hall outside, so it seemed that their was no escape. Fluttershy warned the pony, but he only reassured that everything would go as according to plan. She hopped to the vault door and stared at the code lock. You can't blame a pony for not remembering a 75 digit code combination. As she attempted to remember, she pressed the first number she thought was right. All the alarms went off and the guards came in almost no time, armed with guns. Fluttershy fled the scene in all directions, trying to find a safe way out, while the pony snuck in by typing a 3 digit combination, stole the formula, and ran off unnoticed.
"Oh good, you got the formula," panted Fluttershy as she hid around a corner away from the guards, "so, what is the plan to get us out of here?"
"You see that window?" asked the pony. "Let me climb on your back and reach it to get out." Fluttershy promptly did as ordered and waited for further instructions.
"Now, um, how do I get out?" asked Fluttershy in a panicky state.
"The plan is, you don't! Adios culo agujero!" taunted the pony as he fled the scene. Fluttershy cried in fear as she ran away, only into the hood-cuffs of some ambushing guards.
"So you thought you could steal the secret recipe, now, did you? So, was sneezing not enough to ruin the business?" taunted the guards.
Fluttershy begged in tears, "But I was tricked! I didn't mean to steal the formula. In fact, I didn't even steal it! The other pony did!"
"Oh yeah, that invisible nonexistent pony I saw the other day. Forget it kid! That's what they all said until they wound up in behind bars. We'll see how long the judge wants you locked away!" angered the guards. The holiday was, once again, going downhill, as she was dragged away in tears to the Spanish court. Never mind the vacation; this was Fluttershy''s first time to ever be convicted of something.
In as little as five minutes later, Fluttershy was rushed to Jaca Court, in hopes that she'd confess her crimes against State, Celestia, and all Equestrian kind, or at least in the eyes of the brewer. The court was barely empty. As seriously as the brewer and Fluttershy were taking this, no pony else was interested in this time consuming session over some pony sneezing in a winery and stealing a secret recipe for a wine, which was, quite frankly, easy to copy anyways even without the ingredient. The guards marched in, followed by Fluttershy bawling in tears with a pair of hoof cuffs, who was also followed by a very angry Aztec brewer. Even the judge thought this was a waste of time, but with nothing else to do, she decided to relieve her boredom with some amusement from a stupid session.
Fluttershy muttered in tears, "But, *sniff*, but, *sniff*, I didn't do anything? What did, *sniff*, did I do?"
"Ma'am, this pony has seriously contaminated facility for most wonderful wine, as well as steal secret recipe for it. Do you know what trouble to my business, or even all of Equestria, this will cause? Ponies are going to copy my design by buying the recipe from this good for nothing asno! Imagine the money she would make! With that type of money, she could start an industry and hire some hot-shot purple unicorn invent tanks with her fight money to go and overrun the Kremlin in Canterlot! Do you see judge?" panicked the brewer.
"Wow, it seems that every pony here in Las Cabillitas is telling wild excuses for trivial matters. I mean, come on! Seriously? Tanks? We already have those, so actually think of a good excuse if you want this pony convicted for sneezing," argued the judge.
"And for stealing the recipe. Wait, we have tanks?" interrupted the brewer. The judge gave a straight face and continued with the session.
"Icaramba! Can't you just, I don't know, let her off with a warning? " angered the judge. "I mean, look at that face. Does that look like the face of a thief?"
"Actually, if you want to know of a cute yet guilty face, um, you should see my rabbit back at home-" explained Fluttershy timidly.
"Listen kid, do you want to get your ass in the slammer? No? Then shut up and let me do the talking. Just keep your 'daw' face going," the judge ranted, who then returned her attention to the brewer. "See? Does cute face equal evil?"
"Yes! Yes it does. A cute face is not going to get her out of trouble, and how the hell do you think she has a cute face? That is wrong on so many levels!" ranted the brewer.
"Wow, you clearly caught on to my sarcasm," said the judge sarcastically. "Besides, did she even have the recipe with her when you caught her?"
The brewer answered, "No senora. She was running and screaming, probably because of our guns, but no matter. There was no one else there, we know when the recipe left the vault, and Fluttershy was the only unauthorized pony there."
At that moment, a loud crash was heard through the window. Shattered glass flew everywhere, with one shard taking out one of the brewer's eyes. After the partially hilarious scream he gave out, a pony in black spandex appeared on the floor. It was the robber. Though, at first, he was talking to himself about a 'perfect hiding spot', he turned to find the court session.
"Um," muttered the robber with guilt, "I thought this place was closed on Saturdays." A bottle fell out of his pocket and all was revealed.
"Perfect timing. You are now under arrest for theft and false accusation!" ordered the judge as the guards caught him and took him through a hall.
"Um, I am so sorry about that Fluttershy. How about I make it up to you with a free six pack of my marvelous wine?" asked the brewer in a guilty manner. Although smiling, anxious for being forgiven, Fluttershy was paralyzed with the close fear of being arrested for the first time. With nothing much to care for, the judge and the brewer then left, leaving Fluttershy to get back to her senses and continue her vacation.
With only about two and a half hours till when the train to St. Loshadburg would leave, there really was not much time for Fluttershy to any more than visit the beach. She may have not had the hotel room, but she still had access to the VIP sector of the beach. It was about 5:00 in the evening, and she had arrived just in time to see a beautiful orange sun dip and mix into the water. The water pulsed in the sunlight, and the sands glowed to remove the shadows of every object on them. Fluttershy and a couple others were the only ones there, and it seemed that she had finally found the serene environment she was looking for. Sure, the sand, the water, the sound of the crashing waves, the lack of garbage, and absence of a crowd was very inviting, but Fluttershy was most interested with the animals. After years of reading and looking at pictures, for the first time, Fluttershy saw a pod of dolphins splashing in the surf. Seabirds dove into the water for a fishing snack, while some sea lions crawled on shore. The animals felt an immediate connection with her, and it almost was like they were calling for her.
The dolphins came to shallow water and lifted themselves over the water partially to see Fluttershy and chirp for her approaching. She came into the water and it was an experience never before felt. Normally, Fluttershy would be deathly afraid of even a lake, but it were the animals that drove her to swim. She rode the dolphins, swam with the sea lions, went through a diving session with the seabirds. and even went as far as take the dolphins and sea lions on a trip to the sky on her back (that's Fluttershy for you). Twenty minutes of pure enjoyment went by quickly, until some of her friends disappeared. At first, it seemed like they were leaving for the night, until she caught sight of a trawler out at sea,, tugging what looked like....a fresh catch! Even Fluttershy knew that ponies depended on a fish market for some of the farms, but it was large game that caught her attention. A distant echoing chirp for help screeched through her ears.
Mobilizing faster than even Rainbow Dash could imagine, Fluttershy bolted to the trawler to put a stop to this hunting of endangered marine life by giving the trawlers a meaningful chat. She rushed on board the ship, causing a large rock that toppled plenty of boxes, and a few workers, overboard. The rest, in dramatic astonishment, all centred at the bow of the ship to see what was going on. Out of the dark, Fluttershy stomped into scene, ready to give these malicious trawlers a peace of her mind.
"Um, excuse me, if you don't mind me bothering, but, can you release the dolphins on the netting, I mean, if you all don't mind? Please?" asked Fluttershy.
"If we don't mind, huh?" asked one trawler, until everyone burst into laughter. "Listen kid, I don't know what happened to you, but we's keepin' these here dolphins, and there ain't nothing you can do about it."
"But what did the dolphins do to you to deserve this?" as Fluttershy with a sympathetic tone.
One worker explained, "One dolphin stole my car."
"One of those dad-gome dolphins stole my insurance," explained another.
"The dolphin with the flower mark took mah wife!" cried another. The other workers, and Fluttershy, were now as confused as ever, and took a look at the nets. The dolphins had cut their way out and were swimming for shore. One of them turned around and made a V sign with his flippers.
"I don't get it," said Fluttershy.
"Are you seeing this?" commented a trawler at the dolphin showing the V sign. "He just flipped us off."
"Let's get 'em!" they all cried. Fluttershy was confused, terrified, angry, and somewhat entertained with all of this. As the ship reached full throttle to shore, Fluttershy tried everything she could do to convince them to stop.
"But these are just animals. Animals do things like that, and usually to survive," persuaded Fluttershy.
"Say that to their treasure trove," rebutted the trawlers while pointing at an island full of gold and treasures, and a random mare.
As one of the trawlers bailed for the island crying, "My wife!" Fluttershy asked again, "I am sure they are sorry. Can we just let them off with a warning?" They all promptly denied. She then asked for the final time, "Can't we at least stop to avoid running ground?" They all looked and saw the shore coming closer and closer very quickly, causing them scream and bail the ship as it careened over the sand bank onto the road over the dunes. The dolphins were terrified as Fluttershy got out of the water, staring at them with a furious expression.
"Why did you do all those bad things? And you had the gaul to play with me?" raged Fluttershy as the dolphins, and the trawlers, shrunk in fear. "Cross your heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in all of your eyes that you will never do this again! Promise?" scolded Fluttershy. "Promise? " The dolphins crossed their hearts and promised, just as the in town Edificio de Reloj struck 6:30. "Oh no! My train leaves in only half an hour!" she cried. It had been a long day, and in compensation for being horrendous, the dolphins offered her a ride to the station, as they did.
The final views of Las Cabilletas were appearing to Fluttershy, as she finally saw the sun set from inside the gates of the train station. The whistles blew, the wheels started to move, and Fluttershy stepped back in her cramped caboose still containing the scary dragon workman. Fluttershy enjoyed touring town and visiting the beach, but she had really hoped, deep inside her heart, that she would have made new friends. The dolphins waved good-bye, but no one else she met remembered her. It was even quite possible that she had made enemies so far in her trip. Whatever happened here, the only thing left to do was to sleep, and hope for what could come in the magical fortress of St. Loshadburg. St. Loshadburg was fairly well known for its crooks, and it was a military fort, ready to give Fluttershy a new bitter perspective in how to view history and culture.
This night, Fluttershy seemed to have gotten a good nights rest. Even if she was uncomfortable, just her fatigue knocked her out cold to sleep a whole night. The train slowed down in what seemed like a thick smog. Unlike Las Caballitas, St. Loshadburg didn't welcome with sunshine, festivity, and golden reflections off of surfaces. No, this city welcomed with thick smoke, tall buildings belching emissions, and the sound of gunfire. One of the gunshots frightened Fluttershy right out of the caboose, causing her to fall onto the tracks. An officer on the platform scolded her and kicked her out of the station, leaving her to the jaws of the city. St. Loshadburg was not famous for hospitality, or low crime for that matter, but it was the most productive city in Equestria, and was where Princess Celestia's own Royal Armoured Guard was stationed. As Fluttershy looked through the streets, she found the city to be surrounded by a massive wall, fitted with battlements every 20 metres, each armed with a 70mm AA cannon. This was the belly of a fortress, a place for any pony with a personality completely opposite that of Fluttershy, but still a stop she needed to see.
Tonight was a march through the city by the tanks, so the railways were closed for the night. Fluttershy set off to find her hotel, which was through a dodgy street. Here, five-star hotels were less valuable than one-star hotels in Ponyville. Lucky for you readers, the most major crime in Equestria was murder. Prostitution wasn't heard of, and most respected each other that way. There were no strange looking ponies through the street as Fluttershy made her way to the hotel doors to check in. As she entered the hotel, a cranky-looking pony held the desk. He didn't say a word while checking Fluttershy in; just swiped the tickets and gave her the keys to her room. Three keys were given for the three locks each door had to really vamp the security. After almost five minutes of lock opening, Fluttershy stepped inside, laid her luggage down, and returned outside to explore.
The streets were horrible. Ponies thinner than paperclips sat on the urinated brick, begging for food and money, while other ponies skulked up and down looking for others to harass. The climate here was also different. St. Loshadburg is located in the northeast portion of Equestria, as opposed to Ponyville being near the middle. There was also a beach here, but the banks were all harbour walls, and the water was filled with sewage. Most of the city was a dump, but Fluttershy came to visit one particular place of interest: Celestia's military command palace, or the Crimson Palace, in midtown. Crimson Palace was located in a walled junction called Crimson Square, and was where a pony could find the barracks, place of governance, and perhaps the cleanest streets in the city. The whole Crimson Square crawled with skulking soldiers, attacking any pony who seemed suspicious with a shouting match, and then continuing their business. They were scary. The guns they carried were powerful enough to pierce dragon skin at almost 300 rounds per minute. Despite all these residents, it were the tourists who had to worry more. The residents did not take kindly towards Westerners, and usually targeted them first, whether it was to pick pocket, murder, or arrest. Fluttershy nearly passed out when a soldier attacked her with a criticism.
"Kadet!" he yelled with an eastern accent. "You are out of rank and uniform! Leave immediately to the barracks, get your uniform on, and report back to drop and give me a hundred pushups!"
"Um, but, sir?" asked Fluttershy, "I am a tourist, not a soldier."
"Listen here d'yavol loshad', anyone who is here in my Crimson Square is a member of of the Royal Army, especially zapadnykh zadnits like you! Now, I gave you a direct order to get your uniform on!" ordered the guard.
Fluttershy hesitated. She was already tormented by every idiot she could possible meet, but she was not at all ready to join the army.
She scolded, "Now, listen here 'sir!' I am a tourist who has come on a vacation issued by the Princess herself, so I don't want to cause any trouble here. 'No' means 'no'!"
But what seemed like successful intimidation was vocalization that only made the soldier angry. "Who do I look like, a fool? Get your ass in your uniform and assume rank! Or you will be shot on spot!" he yelled loud enough to topple a chair in the food court.
Fluttershy fled into the barracks to put on her 'uniform,' which she could not find anywhere. She wasn't a registered militant, so there was no uniform issued to her for her to put on. One of the troops seemed sick in his bunks, so she 'borrowed' his uniform and rushed out.
"I *pant* got my uniform on," announced the confused pegasis.
"You really want to have a few holes in your liver? I know which uniform belongs to which pony, because I am not the idiot who would steal another pony's uniform, especially if it had his name on the front of it!" scolded the sergeant. Fluttershy saw the name tag with embarrassment and asked how to get a uniform. "You don't get a uniform today then. That's sad, judging by today's training exercises!" Fluttershy only uttered a gulp.
"Line up cowards! New recruits, this is going to be your easiest exercise, so make it last!" yelled the drill instructor. at first, Fluttershy was relieved about the fact that it was the easiest, until she saw the course.
"Your first task will be to walk over the superheat iron bar which is precariously balanced over a pit of hungry tigers. Then, you will march through the road where there will be swinging saws, twenty firing tanks, hot coals, and other comical obstacles, which will then lead you to the most painful exercise! You will enter a dark room, and watch Jussen Smeiser's music video, while standing!" described the drill instructor. All the cadets fled, leaving Fluttershy to be picked first. "Looks like you are up first!"
At first, Fluttershy thought that she could tame the tigers on her way over the pit, who could then turn of the machinery that operated the tanks, saws, and television, until the instructor ordered that all of this had to be done while carrying him and playing a violin.
"Ok, now I know you are just being mean!" accused Fluttershy.
"I am not being mean! I am a drill instructor! Now march! Oh, and can you play me 'Kalianka' while you are marching?" instructed the instructor. Fluttershy reluctantly started playing and tip-toed over the burning iron. There was no way to cure the tigers while playing a violin, so she lost her tail on her way out. The saw-path was worse. The saws chopped off her mane, and the tank shells left scorch marks everywhere where they missed. There was also a random flame thrower, which singed off all of her fur. The music video took a heavy toll, as the song conflicted with her playing the violin and left scarring evidence of stallion sex-change. Fluttershy lost her hair, body fur, and her dignity, but was still eager to hear her results.
"You failed! Did it ever occur to you to use your resources. While crossing the tiger pit, you could, oh I don't know, fly? And could you have walked around the saw pit? And could you have axed the television with this axe I conveniently had in my pocket? So, you fail!" scolded the instructor.
"So, um, may I be dismissed, I mean, if you don't mind?" asked Fluttershy.
"Of course I mind!" angered the sergeant, "now drop and give me a hundred!"
As exercises continued with Fluttershy suffering all the drills, and the cowardly cadets spectating and drinking vodka, an alarm sounded. No one moved.
"What are you doing?" asked the sergeant. "Get your asses to your ranks! Get your guns! Get your helmets! This is not a drill! We are in action!"
"Um, *gulp*, action?" whimpered Fluttershy. The sergeant through a uniform and a twenty kilogram gun on her. Though it hurt a lot, she picked up her items and assumed rank. The sergeant walked to give certain orders about military placement to each cadet. Fluttershy prayed that she would be assigned as a janitor.
"Comrade Fluttershy," announced the sergeant, "You are assigned duty as Lone Frontline Reconnaissance Unit!"
"But this is my first twelve minutes in the army. I can't possibly, um, what do Lone Frontline Reconnaissance Units do?" asked the frightened pony.
"There is an honorable description, but let's be honest. The LFRU is the one who reveals the enemy by humiliatingly getting shot while unaware, usually at most three minutes after deployment, and Celestia forbid what Llamas do!" explained the sergeant.
"What do Llamas do?" asked Fluttershy while sweating enough to fill another soldier's canteen.
"They don't kill. They capture for their sacrificial rituals! It usually involves rolling a huge stone on you just enough to squeeze your guts out of your ass while keeping you alive," explained the sergeant. Fluttershy, out of fear, sat on her seat in the transport and promptly pulled out a pacifier to suck on.
"So, why are we fighting Llamas?" asked Fluttershy.
"It all began when the Llamas became curious about their existence. They were settled in a nice and tropical land with little troubles. The water ran clean, and food was plentiful. However, one day, a huge famine engulfed the whole Llaman populous. Millions suffered and died, and they spent years trying to understand what went wrong. They tried watering their crops, but it was fruitless, no pun intended. They replaced the soil, but still no food. It was until they realized that the gods who created their world did it out of great sacrifice, so the gods needed compensation. So what did the Llamas do? They began to sacrifice their enemies. The food came back, and the Llamas were happy again, until they ran out of captives. So, they need to start a war on anyone they meet just to accumulate enough captives to feed their rivers and farms. They warred with anyone they could find, and now, Equestria. Now do you see?" explained the sergeant.
A fellow soldier in another seat, however, commented, "Don't listen to him. Ol' Monty lost a bet to the sergeant, and he didn't pay the fee, so the sergeant is going to attack him by, apparently, getting attacked first. Weird huh?"
