Agent of Equestria

by CrypticMetaphor

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, Anthro, Dark, Comedy
Length: 2210

A young man acquires the abilities of Agent Smith and runs wild in Equestria

His name was Tobias Smith. Occupation, CD Store cashier. He really had nothing going for him in terms of a carrier but he had decent friends and a rich night life. One night in particular is when his life changes forever. It started as a themed movie night, The Matrix Trilogy were the films of the evening and all attendees had to dress as characters from either film. Tobias decided to choose Agent Smith and even got authentic shades for the ensemble. But upon donning them, he's zapped from his home and ends up in a world of anthromorphic ponies that label him an enemy of the kingdom. But what they will discover is that Tobias, calling himself Agent Smith, has some familiar tricks up his sleeves.

"We're not here because we are free. We're here because we are not free. There is no escaping reason. No denying purpose. Because we both know without purpose, we would not exist."
―Agent Smith

(A Story for the LOHAV & Inspired by such as Malideus by uberdeathninja; The Rise of Darth Vulcan by RealityCheck, and F*** it I'm Having Fun by Jimmy the Grape)

THOUGH IT SAYS CANCELLED, I MIGHT PICK IT BACK UP. DONOT LOSE HOPE.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-19 04:40:11 UTC

Program 1

Tobias was bored.  Well not bored of life or any of that other melancholy crap, he was just bored behind the counter at his station in Mix World.  Business had been slow as of late most likely due to the fact that no new albums had come out recently.  If that wasn’t enough, his Ipod had long since died so he couldn’t lose himself to any music to alleviate the boredom that plagued him.  Granted the odd customer would saunter on through and purchase an old album or a literal oldie, like now for example.  Across from him was a middle aged man who was currently looking with eagerness at his copy of an REO Speedwagon CD.  Tobias put on his best fake smile and handed the man his CD and change before bidding him a farewell.

Tobias sighed as he reached under the counter and produced the bottle of Cola he had bought on his lunch break.  Taking a swig of his beverage he glanced up at the clock and noted it was five minutes before his shift ended.  The young man then produced his phone and opened his app to check on the package he had ordered.  Smiling at the fact that it had entered the city, he pocketed the phone and leaned against the counter.

A voice behind him made him jolt slightly, “Slow day huh?”

Tobias glanced behind him to see a slightly portly man in a T-shirt wearing the stores logo, “Yay Chet, not much of a business day.”

“Well if that’s the case since it’s getting close,” Chet glanced at the clock, “You can clock out early.”

Tobias raised his eyebrows, “Seriously?”

Chet nodded, “Yeah, Seiya just arrived anyway.  Plus if I’m not mistaken,” he smirked, “You have a party to go to tonight.”

Tobias nodded, “Yep,” he slowly walked around the counter and waved at Chet, “Catch ya later boss.  Thanks.”

Chet smiled and returned the wave as Tobias walked into the back and grabbed his things.  Quickly donning his coat he rushed out the door and headed toward his apartment.  Now one thing one must realize, Tobias was not a bad guy.  In fact he was a nice guy but sometimes circumstance worked against him; he called it the ‘Old Toby Luck.’  One prime example was what was going to transpire that night at the party, but one must be asking what this party is exactly?

Well simply put, it was another shindig that was being hosted by the master nerd of theme Josh Stern.  Josh and Tobias had been friends since they were kids and Josh always had the weirdest ideas on his mind.  One such idea was that once every month a themed movie night party was to be held.  This month’s party was The Matrix Trilogy and he decided on the perfect costume to dress in for the evening, Agent Smith.  It added a slight inside joke to it because his last name was Smith.  Josh couldn’t wait to see him in full garb.  Tobias had even taken steps to ensure his costume was as authentic as ever.

*

Across town a small package with an international mailing address on it was currently fixed securely in place in the back of the Fed-Ex truck that rolled down the nightly streets.  However the driver failed to notice an odd bunching of storm clouds gathering in the sky.  Within an instant, a pink lightning bolt streaked down and surged along the truck.  However, instead of the driver or his instruments being harmed, the pink electricity surged for the next thing that was a conductor.  It surged into and merged with the metal and frames that were in a pair of sunglasses that currently rested within the small package.  But as abruptly as the lightning and clouds came, they vanished.  The driver was none the wiser.

*

Tobias had arrived home a long while ago.  Though he was curious about that odd weather a few moments ago, but he thought nothing of it.  At the moment he was straightening a black tie that was fixed to a white dress shirt; on the tie was a silver tie clip.  He pulled on his black suit top and glanced down at the matching pants and dress shoes that were even shined.  Glancing at himself in the mirror he made sure his attire was prim and proper.  His dark brown hair had been trimmed and was even combed back to mirror the trademark hair style, only difference was that he lacked the widows peak.  His light brown hazel eyes glanced at his look in the mirror, lean build that had some muscle but not that much.  His build along with the outfit made him look like a spitting image of the movie character he wished to portray…aside from the hairline.

Tobias made a neutral expression and spoke in his best voice, “Mr. Anderson.”

He nodded in satisfaction but his attention was drawn to the sound of his doorbell being rung.  As he walked to the door, he stopped and grabbed the Desert Eagle 50.AE airsoft gun he had bought off the table.  Opening his suit he stashed it inside and smiled.  Soon the door was opened and the delivery man raised an eyebrow at Tobias.

“Let me guess,” he raised the package, “You ordered these for your costume?”

Tobias nodded, “Yeah,” he produced his wallet and paid the man.

“Sign here.”

Tobias obliged and soon the delivery man was on his way as the young man clutched his package.  The paper it was wrapped in didn’t stay on very long, soon it was in the garbage and he was staring in mild excitement at the black glasses case.  He had to admit that the guy who sold them to him really wanted to leave a lasting impression.  He opened the case and stared at his prize, before him were exact replicas of the shades Agent Smith wore in the Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions.

Taking them out of the case he flicked them and looked at the shining and spotless lenses, his face reflected and looking back at him.  Though there was something odd about them.  When he held them he could swear he felt a strange buzzing in his fingers.  Shrugging it off, he stashed them back in their case and pocketed them.  Soon he was out the door and ventured toward the parties destination.

A mere bus ride and walk later he had arrived at his destination.  Walking into the main lobby of the apartment building he clicked the elevator button and waited.  Soon the elevator arrived and he entered.  Tobias sighed as he leaned against the banister of on the back wall, deciding that he wished to enter the home in full costume he produced the glasses case and produced the shades in question.

“Money well spent.”

He gave them a flick and popped them on.

Then there was a flash of white and a clap of thunder.

When the elevator finally reached the designated floor, the doors opened to reveal no occupant.

*

Tobias couldn’t stop his ears from ringing.  What the hell had that been?  All he did was put the glasses on and then…the glasses!  Tobias snapped his eyes open and took notice of the fact that he was now on his back in outside in some sort of park.  Also apparently he was still wearing his shades and costume.  He stood up and dusted himself off and took in the surroundings…and he mentally screamed.  Staring at him were the oddest creatures he had ever seen before.  They resembled humans and even had hands and feet like them, only difference was that their heads were like that of horses.  That and the fact that their skin was pastel colored.  He nervously looked from side to side at them as he noticed some possessed horns while others had wings, and some had neither.

One pony that was a shade of magenta with a two tone mane and tail of purple with a horn, she was presently wearing a white tank top over a pair of a cup breasts and dark blue shorts with a pair of white runners.  She slowly approached him with a cautious look.

“Sir, are you alright?”

Tobias acted on instinct and reached into his suit coat and pulled out the airsoft gun and leveled it, “BACK OFF!  I’M WARNING YOU!”

The anthro pony continued to advance though her pace slowed, “Easy now, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Tobias was skeptical at the fact that the gun seemed heavier than usual but shrugged it off as his tone became more commanding, “Stay back.”

The pony stopped but stepped forward.

Tobias thanked the fact he loaded the thing with pellets and decided to scare her.  However, what he wasn’t prepared for was when he pulled the trigger.  A loud bang and flash emitted itself from the muzzle of the gun and the pony creature was hurled off her feet.  Tobias backed up in shock and noted the blood that was coming from her waist.  Tobias looked at the gun in his hand in surprise as a smaller unicorn ran to the fallen one who was breathing fast.  Tobias cursed the Old Toby Luck and ran away from the scene.

He soon found himself in the middle of the town and took notice for the first time that it was the afternoon.  Tobias looked around him in fear at the unfamiliar surroundings and stashed his gun away.  The next instant, he saw a shape streak down from the sky and plow into him hard.  Soon he found himself on his back staring into two burning maroon eyes; he noted that it was a winged pony creature that was cyan.  Her mane and tail was rainbow colored and she wore a black muscle shirt with matching sport shorts.  On the side of the shorts was a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt.

“Alright whoever you are,” the pony growled, “you have five seconds to tell me why you just did that to Sparkler!”

Tobias was mad, not at the fact that he was on an alternate world.  But the fact that this pony thing was mad at him for an accident, granted he felt horrible, but the mere fact that she was digging her knee into his gut was pissing him off.

“Get off me!”

Tobias delivered a swift snap punch to the girl’s chest which resulted in her flying off him with great speed and force into the nearby wall of a building, which caved in slightly.  Tobias blinked in utter surprise at what he just did.  He then got an odd thought.  Placing his arms on either side of himself he pushed off with them, and rose in a flash into the standing position.

He looked down at himself in utter shock and fascination, “What the fuck was that?”

“RAINBOW!”

Tobias turned around and gazed in surprise at a mare who was wearing a yellow and red checkered button up shirt and navy blue jean shorts with a brown Stetson.  On her feet was a pair of brown cowboy boots.  Her skin was orange and her mane and tail were blonde and both were done in a ponytail…ha ha.

Rainbow Dash stood shakily up and wheezed, “Careful Applejack, this guy has a mean right hook.”

Applejack advanced on Tobias who visibly tensed, “Well ah have a mean HAYMAKER!”

She brought her fist in for a haymaker…only to gasp as it was blocked by a calm looking Tobias.  Applejack went to throw a second punch only for it to be blocked by the same arm.  Rainbow stared on dumbfounded as she saw AJ throw punch after punch at the suited man only for his arm to block each one.  But what surprised her more was what she saw.  She, and most likely AJ, saw the suited man’s arm move like a blur leaving after images as each blow was either deflected or blocked.  The suited man even had the stones to look away as he continued his blocking.  Eventually he caught AJ’s fist and hurled her back with a simple push.

The mare rolled hard along the dirt and came to a stop as Applejack landed beside her, “Are you alright?”

AJ nodded, “Ahm fine, didja see that?!  He was blocking me like it was nothing!”

Tobias straightened his tie as both girls stood, “Well that was fun.”

Deciding that maybe the best course of action would be to retreat so he could figure out exactly what the hell was going on.  He decided one course of action would work, scare tactic.  The mere fact that he displayed these abilities seemed to shake the mares so it could work to his advantage.  If that didn’t work, he could just fire his now live gun into the air a few times.

“Now you can plainly see that your skills are not on par with mine,” he stood his ground and remained stoic as the adrenaline pumped, “The sole fact that you stand here now is more for my amusement if anything.”

Rainbow stood, “Just who the hay are you!?”

A slow smile crept onto Tobias’s face, “Agent…Smith.”

The smile itself shook both girls to the core as Applejack stood beside her friend, “Alright Smith, just what do you want?”

Smith chuckled, “Simple.  To keep you all contained, and then to wipe you cancerous filth off the face of this world.”

AJ and RD remained rooted to the spot.

“I’ll be seeing you both soon.”

Smith then ran into an alleyway and soon vanished beyond the Ponyville’s limits.

Applejack looked to Rainbow Dash, “We haveta tell Twilight.”

Rainbow nodded, “Right behind you!”