12 Angry Ponies

by Gregory the Mighty

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bon-Bon, Adventure, DJ P0N-3, Doctor Whooves
Length: 3790

A courtroom drama

When the mane 6, Doctor Whooves, Vinyl Scratch, Big Mac, Bon Bon, Lyra and Cheerilee are chosen to be jurors, they must decide the case of the century.

Published 2012-03-23 23:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-23 23:54:02 UTC

Chapter 1

From The Equestira Constitution, Article E.46-8B

Every pony in Equestria is entitled to a trial by a jury of their peers. A jury pony must decide if the defendant has been found guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. The defendant must be guilty to the point a reasonable pony would believe their guilt, given the arguments heard during the testimony. If a unanimous decision cannot be reached, a retrial will be done until there is such.

The door saw the passing of the 12 jurors. It was a simple room, with a water cooler and restrooms at the far end. There was a blackboard for writing and a large table for the jury ponies to sit around. There was also a coat rack, where many jurors hung their ponchos and umbrellas. The forecast was for rain that night. After they had entered, the guard--a gray earth pony--locked the door.

There was not much crime in Equestria. Sure, there were stabbings in Manehatten with hoof-mounted switch knives, but they had decreased ever since mayor Ruby Ponliani cleaned up Times Square. This was the most severe crime ever in their history.

Twilight Sparkle raised her clipboard and quill magically before her face. “Alright, let me take a role call. I am Twilight Sparkle, and I am Juror number one, that makes me the forpony. I will be tabulating the votes, and reporting our ultimate answer to the judge. I’m going to say everypony’s name and we’ll make sure we’re all sitting in the right spot. We should be sitting in order, clockwise from my spot.”

“Lyra?” “Present”

“Bon Bon?” “Present”

“Big McIntosh?” “Eyup”

“Doctor Whooves?” “Present”

“Vinyl Scratch?” “Present”

“Rainbow Dash?” “Present”

“Fluttershy?” “Present”

“Cheerilee?” “Present”

“Pinkie Pie?” “Present”

“Rarity?” “Present”

“Applejack?” “Present”

“Alright then,” Twilight started “How should we do this, do you want to discuss or just vote?”

Bon Bon raiser her hoof. “Perhaps we should start with a vote.”

Rainbow Dash agreed. “Yeah, maybe we can all go home early.”

“Rainbow Dash! Don’t be so flippant!” chided Rarity. “This is a capital offense. If we vote guilty, this mare will be given the worst punishment possible in all of Equestria. She’ll be banished to the moon for a thousand years.”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know non-alicorns could live for a thousand years.” added Pinkie Pie.

Rarity shot daggers at Pinkie. “They can’t.”

At that moment Pinkie put two and two and two together. “Oh...”

Cheerilee raised a hoof. “I think Bon Bon is right. Perhaps we are all thinking the same thing. We should take a vote before we do anything else.”

Twilight raised her clipboard. “Very well, let’s have a show of hooves for guilty.” Twilight offered up her own hoof, then counted the others in the room. “...ten... eleven... twelve.” She paused. “No, eleven. Eleven votes for guilty. And not guilty?”

A single timid yellow hoof raised at the far side of the table. “I-I vote for not guilty, if that’s ok.” Fluttershy said.

Bon Bon facehoofed. “So close...”

Twilight looked somewhat confused. “Maybe you don’t quite understand. The case was pretty strong against her.”

Applejack stood up. “Perhaps we can go over it again, just so you understand.”

“Ok, I’ll start.” said Twilight, “I have the transcript of the case on my clipboard. Last month a fire was set that destroyed half of Ponyville. The fire chief ruled that it was arson, and the fire started on the second floor of the empty building on corner of Freehold and Yonkers. An elderly pony saw a figure hovering outside her second story window. She lived across from that building.”

Vinyl Scratch interjected. “Yeah, remember that photo they showed us of her open window? She had all those flower vases and porcelain cats on her windowsill? That window was just a few feet across from the origin of the fire.”

Bon Bon added more. “And there was a note from the defendant at the defendant’s office saying she was going to that exact address.”

Fluttershy responded. “Yes, but the defendant had an alibi. She said she’d never seen that note before. She also said she delivered one last package that night, after everypony else had left. She delivered a floral tie from Snails to the Grand Taxi stand. That’s nowhere near the corner of Yonkers and Freehold.”

“Fluttershy, it’s not an alibi if you’re alone and there’s no one there to corroborate your story,” Rainbow Dash huffed, “the defendant has trouble with her eyes and isn’t supposed to deliver packages unless her supervisor is there to read them for her.”

“Besides, there is no record of Snails mailing a package to Grand Taxi!” Bon Bon added.

“Well, I just thinking it’s possible that it was missed in the package log.” said Fluttershy.

“It’s possible, but it’s not reasonable. This is about reasonable doubt. Sure, it’s possible for a wizard to be using a doppleganger spell to look like somepony else, but that spell is incredibly rare. Not even I know it. The thing is, we need to be reasonable and look for a reasonable doubt if we want to vote not guilty. The witness positively identified the defendant as the one outside her window that night.” Twilight spoke with a heavy heart. She didn’t want to send that pony to her fate any more than Fluttershy did, but it was her civic duty.

Fluttershy looked around the room. It was full of angry ponies leering at her. “Well, I do have other doubts about the evidence.”

“Like what?” asked Lyra.

“Well, the note was written in ink, right?” said Fluttershy.

“Yes,” said Twilight. “So?”

“Well, the defendant is a pegasus. Only unicorns use quills. Earth ponies and pegasus need to use pencils which we hold in our teeth.” Fluttershy observed.

Twilight was taken back. She at once became hyper aware of the quill she was writing with. “I guess you’re right. That doesn’t add up. But it’s still just one piece of evidence.”

“I’m afraid she’s right dear,” added Cheerilee, “That can’t trump the witness, or her lack of an alibi.”

“Yeah,” continued Fluttershy, “but I just don’t think there’s a motive. Why would that pony want to burn the whole town down. Lots of ponies were hurt and homes destroyed. It was so horrible.”
The group all shifted uncomfortably.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash answered the question. “Look, this pony was... different. Lots of ponies wanted her to change or stay in the background. It caused a lot of fuss every time she opened her mouth.”

“Besides, some ponies just want to watch the world burn.” said Pinkie. After which, Rarity gave her a swift kick in the shins.

“Alright, you can take another vote. By secret ballot. If nopony else votes not guilty, I’ll change my vote and we can all go home.” Fluttershy stepped away from the table and over to the water cooler while the others voted. Twilight, being ever prepared, gave out cards to write votes on. After the cards were given she went to the drawer in the table to get pencils. As the last pencil was assigned, Twilight realized what Fluttershy was doing. They exchanged a look from across the room.

The votes came back;
guilty
guilty
guilty
guilty
guilty
guilty
guilty
not guilty...

Fluttershy’s ears perked up to the ceiling and she trotted back to her place at the table.

Bon Bon was mad. “Who did this?!”

Doctor Whooves stood up. “I did. I think this young mare is onto something.”

Pinkie Pie spoke too. “Fyeah! Fe Foo!”

“Pinkie, you can take the pencil out of your mouth now.” said Applejack.

“Ptoi! Yeah! Fluttershy is onto something! If we vote guilty, that mare is going to be sent away FOREVER! If we’re going to do that, we need to have the most in depth conversation ever!”

Bon Bon was insulted and looked as if to leap across the table.

“Hey everypony! Let’s be civil!” pleaded Cheerilee.

“Ok, let’s settle down now! I think we need to take a five minute break!” announced Twilight Sparkle.

The group stood up and took their break. Fluttershy went to the window to look out onto a half-destroyed Ponyville. The rain was beginning to fall.

Twilight sparkle spread out her notes on the table. The last note was the one Twilight didn’t want to face. It was the photo of the accused. Because of what Fluttershy had said, she was compelled to look that photo in the eye now. It was a photo of a gray pegasus with crossed eyes. If Fluttershy couldn’t convince all the others, she would be sent to her death.

To be Continued.

Chapter 2

After the break, Twilight called the jury ponies back to their places. Surprisingly, it was Rarity who spoke first.

“Well, there is one thing that bothers me terribly.” announced Rarity. “Quills aside, if the defendant has such bad eyesight that she can’t even read her own packages, how did she write that note in the first place? With no misspellings or grammar errors?”

“It was a pretty short note.” said Lyra.

“Yes,” continued Rarity, “but if you take that note out of the equation, there’s nothing placing her at the scene of the crime.”

“Except the witness”, said Rainbow.

“But it was so dreadfully dark in the alley! When she was on the stand, the witness couldn’t identify the cutie mark of the defendant.” said Rarity.

“You haven’t heard of a black latex sneaking suit? They are readily available at any time day or night at any convenience store. The prosecution was satisfied that the description was close enough.” commented Twilight.

“Still I want another vote. It seems amiss to me.”

Twilight took another vote by show of hoof. This time it was tied six to six.

“What?!” cried Bon Bon, “this is ridiculous! She’s obviously guilty!” Bon Bon turned her pink eyes to Big Mac and leered at him. “You! You hayseed! Why did you change your vote!”

Big Mac stared at Bon Bon intently. “Not tellin’.”

“This is insane! She’s obviously guilty! Only a guilty pony would have such an inane and silly ‘alibi’!”

Fluttershy stood up. “I don’t think her alibi is so silly. It’s just a little jumbled, is all.”

Doctor Whooves stood up with her. “I agree with Fluttershy. This alibi does seem off, but not because it phoney, it’s because it’s too certain!

Vinyl Scratch scratched her head. “How does that work?”

“The defendant is dyslexic, right? That means she couldn’t read the label on the package without help. The letters wouldn’t add up. Unless all the letters could have two logical combinations!”

“What are you going on about?” Bon Bon scoffed. “The reason we can’t find this missing package entry is because she made it up!”

“No. I don’t think she made it up. She mis-made it up!” Whooves stepped up to the blackboard. “Now Twilight, read me exactly what she said was on the package’s label.”

Twilight flipped through her papers. “She said she delivered the pure flower tie to Grand Taxi.”

“And about time too. Those black ties the cabbies wear are so drab!” Interrupted Rarity.

“Hush! I want to see where this is going.” Said Applejack.

“Yes, the ‘to’ would be part of the sticker, so let’s just write down the letters that were written by hoof,” Whooves started writing.

THE PURE FLOWER TIE GRAND TAXI

“Ok, now let’s see what would happen if looked at these same letters in a different order!” Whooves began rearranging the letters until he came to this;

THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE

The room was aghast. Cheerilee shouted in shock, “She was delivering the package to the completely wrong pony!”

Rainbow facehoofed, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Bon Bon objected. “Wait she said the package was from Snails, and they questioned Snails and he never sent a package.”

Whooves spoke up. “Yes, well if she got the destination wrong, she must have gotten the sender wrong too. Twilight dear, what EXACTLY did she say was the sender?”

Twilight once again checked her papers. “She said it was the ‘Squad of Snails’.”

Whooves put the words on the board.

SQUAD OF SNAILS

“Now, let’s give these letters the same treatment we gave the others.” With some deft letter manipulation, he came up with this;

QUILLS AND SOFAS

The room was again aghast.

Doctor Whooves put down the chalk. “Makes sense,doesn’t it? Trixie is a unicorn, and the unicorns are the ones who need the quills, right?” He winked at Fluttershy. “Although I suppose he could be shipping her a sofa as well. But for a sofa to fit in that box, it would have to be bigger on the inside...”

Twilight took another vote. More had gone over to non guilty, but Lyra, Bon Bon and herself were still not convinced. Twilight did, however, inform the guard about the possible different package and told him to look for it on the shipping records. She then turned to the group.

“I think that’s enough for now. We have a lot to think about. It looks like we’ll be here all night, so let’s order dinner.” said Twilight.

Lyra turned to Bon Bon. “What do you want for dinner?”

Bon Bon huffed. “A large Hung Jury with a side of getting outta here.”

To Be Concluded

Chapter 3

Dinner was mostly hay, slightly crispy, though they did have Chrysanthemum pops as a side dish. There were cupcakes too, but they were the grocery story kind with cheap fondant as icing. Pinkie made the mistake of eating one; a bit of her soul died that day.

Fluttershy unsheathed her Chrysanthemum pop from its paper wrapper and placed it on the table. Chrysanthemum pops have several flower buds for snacking and come with weighted faux-vases. The weight caused the pops to stand up, enabling a pony to set them on a table and chomp the buds hoofs-free. “These pops remind me of something."

Vinyl answered, “They remind me of the skinny vases the witness had on her windowsill”

Fluttershy had an idea. “Put your pops on the edge of the table everypony I want to try something. Rainbow Dash come over here.”

“Fwat is Fis Afout?” Rainbow sputtered, as she scarfed the last of her hay.

“Something bothers me about that witness testimony, she says she saw a pegasus hovering just outside the window. The window was open, but there was no change to her windowsill.”

“What are you getting at?” said Bon Bon.

“Rainbow Dash, hover near these pops, won’t you?” Fluttershy pointed to the appropriate spot, and Dash complied. Instantly, all the Chrysanthemum pops fell over onto the table. “You see what I mean? If there was a pegasus hovering there, it would have made a terrible mess of her vases.”

“Hold on, do mean she was lying about seeing a pony from her second story window?” Twilight chimed in.

“No, just that it wasn’t a pegasus.” said Fluttershy.

“Wait, if it wasn’t a pegasus, what kind of pony can fly?” said Bon Bon.

Fluttershy thought a moment. “Twilight, unicorns can make things fly, can’t they?”

Twilight thought for a minute. She hadn’t considered making herself float in years, not since she learned the teleport spell. “I suppose, but it would be a unicorn whose special talent was magic spells. Rarity, can you lift yourself?”

Rarity blushed. “No! Certainly not. I might have attempted when I was younger, but lifting yourself is too uncouth.”

Bon Bon turned to Lyra, “Can you levitate yourself?”

“If I could levitate myself, do you think I’d be walking around on four legs?” Lyra snorted.

Vinyl chimed in, “I dunno, I’m pretty talented with moving stuff! Let me give it a whirl.” She jumped up on the table-and just for show-did a hoofstand. Within a minute she had floated up to the ceiling.

“Wooo! I’m flying, baby!” She cried, only to crash down a moment later.

“I don’t think this really works. It’s pretty far fetched to say it was a flying unicorn dressed as a pegasus. The more reasonable possibility is that it was just a pegasus in the first place.” Twilight conceded.

Doctor Whooves stepped up. “I do have one more thing I’d like to see. Can we see the bombs that caused the fire? From what the prosecutor said, they were very unusual.”

Twilight grimaced. “I suppose, but they are undetonated bombs.”

Pinkie Pie reinforced Doctor Whooves. “C’mon! This is a matter of life or moon-banishment! We should at least take a look at them!”

The guard brought in the parapod box. “I don’t know about this, this is dangerous stuff. These are made to explode at the slightest touch. They are the egg sacs of parasprites, and they can only be found on one particular day a year deep within the Everfree Forest.”

Rainbow Dash huffed. “So, they reproduce through budding, AND they lay eggs? That is so unfair!”

The gray guard picked them up and placed six of them one by one onto the table. They were like colorful prickly tennis balls.

“This is ridiculous. How could these little nuts burn down half of Ponyville?” Applejack prodded an orange hoof at one of the parapods. Before anypony could shout, she had detonated the pod, blowing the five others across the table. The entire room panicked and flew backward to the walls, terrified to touch any more pods.

Vinyl was inches away from touching one, then she fell over. Nothing happened.

While Big Mac tended to her poor sister’s wounds (her hoof was still intact, though burned) the others rushed over to Vinyl Scratch. Though she had fallen directly on it, squishing it, it did not explode. “I guess I’m immune.” she said.

“Wait what’s the difference between her and the rest of us? Why didn’t she trigger an explosion?” demanded Bon Bon.

Twilight Sparkle gave a guess. “She has no color.”

“Hey, white is a color!” Vinyl returned.

“No, it isn’t, it’s the absence of color.” Rarity stepped up. “If you’re right, Twilight, I shouldn’t trigger an explosion either.” Rarity bravely extended a hoof to touch the parapod. Granted she was whispering “Ew! Ew! Ew!” the whole time. No reaction. The guard stepped up and tried it himself. No reaction. In fact, no matter how hard he banged the parapod, they wouldn’t explode.

Twilight was stunned. “It appears these only react to ponies with color. Anypony white to black, or a shade of gray doesn’t fire them off. That explains why they didn’t explode when the guard put them on the table.”

Cheerilee was cheery. “Well, that clinches it! Ditzy Doo couldn’t have detonated the firebombs!”

Bon Bon was incredulous. “I dunno. If anything this makes it more possible. She would have been able to set the bombs anywhere in town, and not worry about them backfiring. It only takes one pony of color, any color at all, to step on one.”

Rainbow helped Vinyl up off the floor. “So Ditzy has gone from an careless menace to a criminal mastermind, complete with a degree in pyrotechnics?”

The guard gathered up the dangerous pods and put them back in the evidence box. As he turned to leave, he added “By the way, I looked at the package register for the day of the incident. There was a package from Quills and Sofas to Trixie, but it’s gone missing.” He closed the door behind him and locked it.

Twilight called another vote. They took their places at the table. It was 11 to one. Bon Bon sat with her hooves crossed, indignant. They were all staring at her now.

Bon Bon leaped up. “I don’t believe you all! She is no less guilty now than she was when we walked in here! She was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt!”

Pinkie Pie stomped her hoofs on the table. “We’ve gone beyond beyond a reasonable doubt! Our doubts are so reasonable, that your doubting of our doubts is what’s unreasonable!”

Doctor Whooves chimed in, “Pinkie Pie is right. Where do you get off acting like a holy avenger, after all we’ve exposed? Why are you so intent on seeing her sent to the moon?”

“She’s a menace! She’s a danger to us all and we need to get rid of her.”

Pinkie and Doctor Whooves had had enough of this. They got up from their places at the table and walked over to the window, turning their backs to Bon Bon in disgust.

Bon Bon continued, “She’s not like us! She’s a danger to herself and everypony! We can’t let damaged goods walk around with us normal ponies!” She turned to Lyra for support.

Lyra was tearful, “Bon Bon! You’re so mean!” She got up and joined the others by the window. One by one, the jury got up and turned away from Bon Bon. When the window was full, they lined up against the wall and stared at it with pregnant intensity.

And so Bon Bon was alone in a room of 12. She stepped back in horror of what was happening. A few minutes of silence followed. Twilight turned her head and spoke. “What’s your vote?”

Bon Bon was crying in the corner. “Not... not guilty”

Epilogue:

Fluttershy raised her wings to meet the evening mist. This was the haze that happens when a cool shower hits hot cobblestone on a hot summer day. A great sigh of relief was shed. She had not walked two feet down the courthouse steps when Bon Bon, half hiding her face behind her rain cloak walked up to her. “I wanted to say I was sorry for being so harsh in there. I didn’t mean to be.”

“Oh, it’s alright. You were just following your convictions.” Fluttershy excused herself and turned to finish walking down the stairs. No sooner than she turned her back did she hear the sound of metal. It was a hoof-mounted switch knife and it was pointed at her heart.

“You’re going to pay for what you did.” Bon Bon’s voice was suddenly much higher. That’s when it hit her. Bon Bon didn’t have pink eyes, she had blue! This wasn’t Bon Bon at all, but Trixie in Disguise! “I was so close to getting off scott free, but at least I’ll have the satisfaction of taking out one Ponyvillian personally...”

There was no time to move, the blade was on her side, inches from her heart, this was to be the end and then TWACK! A heavy hoof came down on Trixie’s head, laying her out.

Fluttershy curled into a ball of fright and started bawling. “Big Mac! You saved me from getting knifed by Trixie!”

“She had a knife?”