Pinkie Pie's Substitute
Pinkie Pie sighed to herself. She needed a break from it all. Being in Ponyville had grown to be tiring for the pink pony. She was known by everypony and loved by everypony. Pinkie was grateful for that. She even was amazed recently to have inspired the way of life for another party pony named Cheese Sandwich. Pinkie found her exhaustion around other ponies to be out of character but she didn't care much about that. She wished that some pony would take her place while she went away on vacation.
"Oh, I wish some pony would give me a break from Ponyville! I need some time to myself!! But everywhere I go, every pony wants to say hello to me. I have no peace and quiet in this town! Some pony save me!!"
A dark bug-like pony with wings and a horn appeared. Pinkie said, "Hello Sarah Jessica Parker, you look prettier than usual today."
"I was only pretending to be her that one time, you fool! I am Plot Convenience, the changeling! I overheard your wish to take a break from Ponyville."
"Oh yes, I certainly do. I don't want to disappoint my friends. My fellow elements of harmony will be so sad if I am gone. Poor Fluttershy. She will cry. Rarity will whine. Rainbow will pretend to not miss me but really want to make sweet love to me. Twilight will psychoanalyze my disappearance and get things all wrong. Applejack will... uh.. well, she's my maybe cousin, so she'll be sad too."
"I know how to help. You know.. I'm a changeling after all."
"Yes, Plot Convenience. I know now. How is Queen Chrysalis?"
"She's good. She's just sad that she can't be as awesome as Lyra or Bon-Bon."
"Poor thing, but they're just background ponies!"
"Hey! Background ponies are awesome. If you watch closely, you'll see I'm a background pony every other episode. Hell, throughout Season 2, I took the form of Applejack half the time."
"What's a Season 2?"
"Jeez, and I thought you were good at breaking the fourth wall and shit like that. Well, like I said, I can help you out."
"Really? That's super duper fantastic! Thank you Plot Convenience!!"
"No problem. I can turn into you right now."
Pinkie watched with amazement as the changeling turned herself into another Pinkie Pie.
"Wow, this is just like the time I went to the mirror pool."
"Except I have a vocabulary beyond the word "fun"."
"True dat, sistah!"
"So, how do I act like you exactly?"
"Ummm... it's all about making ponies smile."
"Ooh, that seems easy enough."
"Thanks for doing this, Plot Convenience, I owe you one."
"No problem. I just wish you were as cool as Bon-Bon."
"Bon-Bon can't bounce like me."
"I don't care. Whatever, I'm you now and that's okay I guess. Enjoy your vacation, Pinkie Pie."
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie bounced away.
Plot Convenience didn't want to admit it to Pinkie but she was very excited about this opportunity. Being transformed into Pinkie Pie allowed the normally reserved changeling to just say whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Making other ponies smile? Screw that. Plot Convenience was just going to say whatever came to her mind and she didn't give a damn what other ponies thought about that.
Plot Convenience could hear some beautiful singing in the distance. Who could that be? Would that be something which would make Pinkie Pie happy? Plot began to bounce and bounce. Plot didn't know what else to do. Pinkie wasn't this deep and intelligent or thoughtful character anyway. She was just zany, in her own little world, and horribly insensitive anyway. Plot knew that wasn't true. She was there when Pinkie got the whole town happy over the Smile song. Plot even bounced on the rooftops along with Lyra and Bon-Bon. That as awesome. None of the mattered. Plot was some pony everypony knew and everypony loved. Why say "everypony" anyway? It wasn't like the humans went around saying "everyhuman". Oops.. Plot couldn't let it slip out that humans are real, not even to Lyra.
Plot was thinking to herself and humming the Smile song. She could see Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. They all seemed to be in a good mood.
"Hey, Pinkie Pie", said Twilight with a cheer.
"Hi Twilight! I'm super duper happy today because I saw that the sun rose. I didn't think the sun would rise again." That sounded like something Pinkie would say, right?
"Oh, Pinkie Pie. You're such a moron", said Twilight, "come on, let's go find out where that singing has come from."
"Yea, that singing is so good. It is making me horny because I'm a lesbian", said Rainbow Dash.
"Like Lyra and Bon-Bon", asked Plot.
"No. They are better ponies than I am", said Rainbow Dash.
"That is awfully honest of you", said Applejack with a grin.
"Oh, we must go find who is singing. I need to recruit that pony to the Ponytones!"
"As Plot.. I mean Pinkie Pie.. I think I deduce that the singing is come from Shutterfly."
"Don't you mean Fluttershy", said Rainbow laughing, "oh, Pinkie, you are so stupid."
"Okie dokie lokie! Lets a go-ee", said Plot while bouncing.
They followed the singing and saw that it was coming from Lutterfly's cottage. Plot had to admit that it sounded quite nice and decided to make loud babbling noises to express her pleasure over the singing. Shitterlie got very scared though and didn't seem to like the fact that they were all happy about her singing. Oh, Plot got it. She is shy! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Plot knew Pinkie wasn't shy. Plot used to be shy herself, but no more. She was inside Pinkie's body and she would make it known that shy people have no proper place in the world except to be tormented by their superiors.
Twilight was the first to speak.
"Wow, I've never heard you sing a solo like that before!"
"It was like a little slice of heaven", added Applejack.
Too bad Plot was going to hell for sure, at least Lyra and Bon-Bon were probably going there too.
Plot had to say something. She was being too quiet.
"With ice cream on top", said Plot with a grin.
"Fluttershy, I cannot believe your spectacular voice isn't part of the Ponytones quartet", exclaimed Rarity.
"Um, well I...", began Fluttershy (so that's her name!!).
"Especially since you're having us perform for your Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser tonight", interrupted Rarity.. what a rude skank, that must be why Bon-Bon didn't acknowledge Rarity's presence that one time.
"Well, you see I..." said Fluttershy.
But Rarity with her interrupting again... goodness, Plot needed to top Rarity when it came to absolute rudeness.
"This simply must be rectified! You must share that stunning voice at the event", said Rarity.
It was Plot's time to shine.
"Yeah! It'll be so amazing! You'll be there on stage, basking in the hooflights! The center of attention! A shining star! Everypony staring at you, judging you, jealously noting how they could be way better than you? Why wasn't it them? Why wasn't it them? And then, when you choke, they'll turn on you, becoming a seething, angry mob, and you'll be horribly humiliated, never able to show your face in Ponyville again!"
Plot saw the tears form in Fluttershy's eyes. Success. This is how Pinkie Pie was meant to be, thought Plot.
"Pinkie Pie", scolded Rarity.
Plot felt herself get whacked by a newspaper. Rarity. Heh, Rarity didn't like that Plot could win in the bitchiness department, huh?
"Don't be ridiculous", said Rarity sternly.
"Aw, but I'm so good at it", retorted Plot.
Ah yes, Plot was doing it well indeed.
Rarity sighed and said, "Come, Fluttershy, you will join the group, making the Ponytones quartet the Ponytones quintet."
"No", said Fluttershy.
"Pardon me?"
"I love the Ponytones, I'm one of their biggest fans, but I do not want to perform with them!"
Wow, that little shy cunt had some balls, thought Plot.
"Why not, Fluttershy", asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Well you see... I... I have.. um... I have", began Fluttershy.
"Spit it out", finished Rainbow Dash.
"I have... stage fright", said Fluttershy quite timidly.
Perfect!
Plot jumped into a bush and gasped, "Is it contagious?!"
"Stage fright isn't a disease, Pinkie. It just means that Fluttershy is scared to perform in front of everypony", said Twilight Sparkle. Ah yes, lecture Plot all you want. Plot is now Pinkie Pie. Nothing can take that away... well until Pinkie decides to return from vacation.
"I'm very thankful the Ponytones are singing at the Pet Center fundraiser, and I'm really looking forward to the performance, but I'll be watching safely from the audience", said Fluttershy. You go girl! Plot would scare the shit out of her again before all of this was over.
Rarity sighed and said, "Well... I think it's a terrible waste of an exquisite talent, but I understand that you're not comfortable." Hmmm, it seems Rarity had given up in beating Plot in the bitchiness department. Good. Made things easier for her.
Plot grinned. She was now Pinkie Pie. Her inhibitions were no longer an issue. She could say whatever she wanted when she wanted. Pinkie Pie was the one pony who seemed to be allowed to do it. Some of the bronies thought that Pinkie Pie was a friendly pony who wanted other ponies to smile. Yes, that's what they thought. Hell, that's probably what Pinkie is like. However, while Plot was around, Pinkie would become the worst pony in all of Ponyville.
Plot smiled.
Author's Note
Probably my worst story ever but I don't care.
It's my rationale for Pinkie Pie's behavior in "Filli Vanilli".
