How to Become Top Dog

by Raymanguy

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Dogs, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life
Length: 3382

Greed, a diamond dog, wants to live a sophisticated life and Rarity is the only one who can help.

A diamond dog named Greed wants more out life then just digging for gems. He wants a sophistcated life above the ground in one of the big cities. The only trouble is he has no idea how to achieve his goal, but a certain white coated unicorn may be able to help if he can convince her to hear him out.

Author's Note: I tagged it Slice of Life more because of the subject matter of trying to better one's life. There will be moments that may not fit well in a typical Slice of Life story but they will be in here. You've been warned and please comment and tell me if you like it or what I could do better.

Published 2014-05-27 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-13 12:02:47 UTC

So Much Brown

Greed stared angrily at cave ceiling. It was the ceiling's own fault for why the diamond dog stared. However, it being a cave and all, had no means by which to change itself or to even tell that he was in fact staring let alone why he did so.

Brown. The ceiling was that brownish color that was shared with the rest of the caverns Greed and his uncles called home. It was brown...and he was sick of it. Everywhere he went he saw nothing but brown. Eastern Mines, brown. Southern Hall, more brown. His own coat, so much brown. The fact that his coat shared the same color as this dank, unwelcoming place made him want to tear his coat off his body and set it ablaze so at least something here wouldn't be brown.

He's certain that the only reason he hadn't gone mad already were because of the few things these caves offered that were anything but brown: gems. Greed's anger faded as his mind drifted to those colorful stones. He tossed and turned on his bed of hay as innumerable jewels danced across the back of his eyelids. Emeralds, rubies, and sapphires, oh my. He felt as though if he didn't stop thinking of them soon he might break it song and do odd dance number. Greed opened his eyes to once again be greeted by that hideous color.

This cycle of see, loathe, dream repeated for several hours.

~~~

Greed walked out of his room (more like random cave hole assigned to him) and made his way to the Mess Hall in the northern section of the caverns. This being his day off allowed him to be pensive. Not to say that he wasn't pensive on his days he had to work too but something about day off deep thought that lent to him a whole new level of deepness and self questioning. This would have been incredibly useful and somewhat remarkable (considering diamond dogs typically lacked basic levels of intelligence) if any true thought-provoking questions ever went through that thick head of his. As it was, all that processing power was applied to a single question: "How can I get more gems?"

He decided to take the long way to the Mess Hall and try and stop by the gem gathering section in the northeast. Greed walked there at a leisurely pace but with a surprising skip in his step and a smile on his face. Just the thought of gems could do that to this gem hound. On his way, he saw many worker hounds toiling away at the cave walls in search of those chromatic rocks and for the first time in a very long time, a new thought popped into his head. He watched as the workers found the gems and put half aside for themselves. The thought grow. He knew what they were gonna do with the gems they set aside. They were gonna take them back to their respective rooms (random cave holes), set them in the far corner and stare at them. Now this wasn't necessarily an uncommon occurrence, in fact the majority of the diamond dogs here did it (including himself and his uncles). The thought ran around his mind like a hound with his tail on fire. Greed shook his head as the words his uncle Rover always told him when he asked a question: "The hound that thinks gets no gems." Greed sighed and walked toward the Mess hall once more. The skip in his step and smile gone, replaced with lazy feet dragging and a look of despair.

~~~

The Mess Hall was as full as it always was. Workers chowing down on raw meat and sitting at odd, misshapen tables of stone. Greed loved meat as much as the next mutt but only when it was cooked, and cooked right. He may not have fancied himself a master of cuisine but he knew how to make food taste good. In the center, a large pile of various gemstones sat glistening beautifully. The sight would have made his heart soar had the image before him not shoved that thought from earlier back into the front of his mind. He sighed and walked toward the food pile and grabbed a hunk of meat, probably cow but he could never tell considering how bad the gatherers tore their prey to pieces. Greed heard a familiar voice call out to him, slightly high in pitch and kinda snarky, from behind him. He turned to see his uncle Rover advancing toward the food pile with his eyes still locked on Greed. Greed waved a paw back and politely waited for him to catch up.

"Greed," Rover greeted.

"Uncle," Greed replied. He followed his uncle over to the "table" where Uncle Fido and Spot sat, digging (tearing and rending are also appropriate synonyms) into their food. He took his seat and greeted them, "Uncle Fido, Spot."

Spot growled and ripped his food half with his teeth while Fido gave him a greeting smile. Greed looked over his uncles...and Spot. Uncle Rover was a medium build and had a grey coat with light green eyes. He wore a blood red vest and collar with an orange gem. He also was the closest thing to a leader this place had. Uncle Fido was the largest dog in the entire cavern. He was light blue of coat and yellow of eye. He wore a grey vest and a studded collar. He was also insanely kind, though he did the most work he kept the least amount of gems. He was Greed's favorite uncle. Lastly, there was Spot. He was short of height and of temperament. He also had the most annoying voice Greed had ever heard. He, too, wore a grey vest and was yellow of eye. The only real difference between Fido and Spot other than personality was that of height, and coat which happened to be tan. Here sat Greed's only family in the world and he wasn't related to any of them.

Greed looked down at the meat before him. That same thought came back stronger than ever. Greed's face turned to one of disgust as he pushed it away from him. it wasn't the meat but what it stood for that disgusted him. Finally, he relented and let the thought process in his mind. The thought was: Was this all he wanted out of life? Was all he wanted was to live in a dank, not to mention brown, cavern for the rest of his days? Digging away for rocks that had no true value? Well, they had value but they were useless down here. What would be the point of staying down here like savages fighting over shiny stones, eating raw meat and sleeping in hay. As far as he could see, there wasn't one.

"Uncle Rover?"

"What?! What do you want? Can't you see I am trying to eat," Rover replied angry that his meal had been interrupted (diamond dogs weren't big on dinner time conversation).

"I want to go to the surface," Greed spoke confidently.

The entire room went dead silent. Everyone stopped chewing their food. Spot had stopped mid chew with his mouth hung open, half chewed meat chunks visible. Rover broke the silence, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Well, I would just like a little more out of life digging."

"What about gems?" Fido asked.

"Those are nice and I'd probably love a ruby more than my first born pup but that doesn't mean that gems are the only thing life is about. Which, yes I realize, is very hypocritical of me to say."

"But- gems," Fido repeated.

"What's up there for you?" Rover asked, "It's not like you can just hop up there and be welcomed. There are those stupid ponies up there."

"If I recall the story I heard correctly, wasn't it a pony who out smarted all of you and was able to make off with every single gem that was mined at the time?" Greed snidely replied. Rover only growled, "So if that was indeed the case, then I highly doubt they are dumb."

"Well, where will you go? I doubt these ponies you love so much will take you in as we have done so generously," Spot commented.

"You're right. I may not have anywhere to go but I'll figure out something. Maybe that mare that took all your gems will even help me fit in with ponies better."

"HA!" Spot laughed, "As though anyone would dare help a mutt like you!"

"Well, I'll just have to prove you wrong," And with that, Greed walked away from the table, his uncles, and his old life.

~~~

Rarity's horn glowed as her magic cover a large array of fabrics. She guided them over toward their assigned places making Rarity's inspiration room look much nicer than before."Now this place looks rather dashing if I do say so myself, but nowhere near as stunning as you'll be."

The last part of her statement was directed toward the dress stencil, it was covered in fabrics red and gold in color. An orange bow adorned the top of the model's head. It reminded Rarity quite a lot of of Applejack's sister, Apple Bloom as a matter of fact. Fall was fast approaching and Rarity had been working diligently on having a full line completed before Summer Sun Celebration. Rarity sighed a satisfied sigh and used her magic to push the stencil along side the others, "This line going to be the best I have ever done. Why Rarity, you are a talent."

She heard a knock at the door downstairs, "Coming," Rarity sung. She trotted down the stairs, a more than modest smile on her face. She had been working hard these past few weeks and she's starting to see her vision come to life before her. Rarity absent-minded opened the front door to the boutique while also flipping the closed sign to open with a wave of her horn and gave her usual greeting, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!" Rarity announced with a bow of exceptional showmanship.

She raised her head to offer a true introduction to her first customer of the day, only to grimace when she saw what was standing in her doorway. A diamond dog, he had a brown coat and an orange vest. Instead of a collar, like the diamond dogs that she had "meet" before, he wore a single string necklace ending with an ember locket. His eyes matched his vest and Rarity couldn't help but somewhat admire his color coordination. What she couldn't admire was his smell, it seemed as though he'd never taken a shower in his life (though that was actually the case, there was no way of her know that).

He spoke as politely as he could with deeper voice than she had expected, "Well, good morning to you too Miss, uh, Rarity was it?"

Rarity's horn flared as she slammed the door shut. Through it she heard him shout in a very confused tone, "Was it something I said?"

Author's Note

This chapter is dedicated to Patlestia as a sort of wedding gift:twilightsheepish:

I hope you liked this chapter. Please comment if you did or even if you didn't and tell me what you might like to see from this story and what you think I could improve on.:twilightsmile:

Can't we talk about this?

"Miss Rarity, can't we talk about this in a mildly civilized manner?" Greed pleaded. He saw her magic envelop the open sign and flip it over to closed, "Oh come on."

"Nopony is here. Please leave and never return."

"Aren't you just judging me solely based on your previous experiences?"

"Very much so, yes," Rarity replied through the safety of the door.

Greed sighed, "I just want to talk to you...please," There was silence for a moment then Greed heard the locking of multiple locks. He facepawed. Well, if she wasn't going to talk with him civilly, he was going to have to get a little uncivil to get her to listen. He waled around to the next closest window and peeked inside. The room he saw was filled with elegant dresses and suits. Each displayed on either and mannequin or hanging on a rack overflowing with clothes. Greed tapped on the window.

"Please, just give me a chance. I can explain everything if you just let me?"

Rarity's head poked around the doorway. Greed tried to give her a smile but she recoiled so clearly he had done something wrong. Or maybe not because she actually trotted over to the window.

"Thank you Miss Rarity. Now-" but he was cut off as she sharply closed the curtains with her magic. Greed sighed, his annoyance of the current situation evident. He put his ear up to the window and heard her trotting away. The soft clop of her hooves was replaced with the loud clop of hooves on wood with the sound trailing up and to the left. "She's going upstairs," Greed thought. He looked up and saw another window that he assumed lead to the second floor. Only difference from the window he was standing at now was the above window was open. He thought about this for a moment.

"On one paw," He began to himself, "If I climb up there I might be able to talk to her. I think i can reach that window so that shouldn't be a problem. On the other paw, doing that wouldn't exactly help my point that I am not trying to harm her or anything." He stood there for a moment, weighing the options in his mind. Then he shrugged and took a few steps back. Greed got down on all fours, stretched out his legs (all of them), and began running full speed at the side of the house. Less then a paw and a half away from smacking into the wall, he jumped with all his might and reached out a paw toward the second story window. A single claw tapped the window sill and then he began to fall. Greed tried to run up the wall but to no avail. He tried one last jump and this time his front paws grabbed hold of the window. He pulled himself up, his torso halfway in the room. It appeared to be a bedroom but also some kind of work area too. Different fabrics of many hues. There were even mannequins up here. Greed paused mid-thought and mid-torso. If this was both a bedroom and a work area, then she'd be-

~~~

The door knob glowed for a short second before swinging open. Rarity trotted into the room muttering to herself something about vile beasts. Her eyes looked over her bedroom as though taking inventory which she actually was doing internally. "Let's see, She thought, "I have silk, and there's my cotton. Hmm, over there are the striped and diamond patterns. Good, and there's my diamond dog and of course-" Rarity's eyes slowly moved back toward the window where the mutt smiled sheepishly.

"Uhhh," Greed began, "I can explain."

Rarity's dumbfoundedness rapidly subsided as she trotted over to the window. She stared at him for a moment. He looked back at her, clearly waiting for her to make the first move. Which she did. Rarity stood on her hind legs and brought up her forelegs then down on his paws. She did this repeatedly shouting, "YOU..WILL...NOT...GET...ME...AGAIN!"

"I, ow, am, ow, not, ow, here, ow, to, ow, bring you, ow, anywhere!"

Rarity spun round and bucked him in the face making fly out and hanging from the window by only his paws. Her magic wrapped around the window and slammed it shut as hard as she could.

~~~

Greed yelped and fell down two stories, his back slamming onto the ground. His paws were in agony. He had guessed she would do something but not nearly cripple him. He rolled over and yelped once more when he put pressure on either of front paws, he was too weak to stand so he had no choice but to limp his way round the house. Which is exactly what he did. He limped round to the front door and sat. He was hurt, not just his paws but inside. Being rejected is one thing, but to this degree. He just sat there, hoping that she'd at least get within earshot of the door. He was going to say what he wanted to say, even if it took forever.

A long time passed. It felt like forever to Greed. Time was always a weird concept for him. Time is a killer. If you give Time the chance, it'll kill you very slowly. If you do something fun or something boring, Time speeds up or slows down respectively. For dogs, though, Time is complex. It seems to last for years at a time. Every second was faster than it should be, or at least it felt that way. When you see Time in fast forward and then look at how long Time has passed, you can easily get confused. Much like Greed's confusion now. In his head, he'd been sitting there for months but when he'd look up and see that the sun hadn't moved.It was frustrating to say the least. However, as he heard hoofsteps on the other side of the door, he felt that it might have been worth it.

"Miss Rarity?" Greed asked aloud. The hoofsteps stopped for a second before they started up again and got closer to the door. He heard somepony sit back against the door, "Miss Rarity, I just want to talk." There was no response. He came here to talk, so now he talked.

"Have you ever felt alone? I mean the real deep feeling of loneliness. The kind where no matter what you do, everyone hates you. A single glance in your direction is all you get before you're judged. Not even judged but vilified is probably the more appropriate term. I don't even have to do anything. On my way here, ponies spotted me and not a single one of them got within 5 meters of me. For what? Because of what I am. All I want is to be accepted. You're the most fancy, elegant, creature I've ever heard of and I'm here to ask for your help. Not take you away or anything like that."

Greed paused and grabbed hold of his locket, "My mom was a mare. I doubt she was my real mom but I've known her for as long as I can remember. She used to tell me that everyone was a coal. More like most of them are coals. However, sometimes when you chip away at some of that coal on the outside...you find a diamond hiding just below the surface. The problem is that those diamonds are, in fact, a rarity. I've heard of you from stories my uncle Fido told me. Just from that, I knew there was a diamond out there. I mean, you and your friends could've done for worse than just annoy my uncles and taken a few gems. I know you're a diamond and I hope you'll see that you'll shine that diamond until it shines bright.

"Even if you don't help me, you're still a diamond. Just a bit uncut<" Greed concluded. He had said what he wanted to say. Now he had to think of a place to sleep tonight. However, something happened. He heard the sound of lots of locks being undone. The door knob glowed and swung open slowly. greed turned to the open doorway and saw a Rarity with tear filled eyes.

She ran a hoof across her face and spoke with as much composer as she could manage, "P-please do come in. I just set a pot of tea on."

Author's Note

Rarity may have come out as a bit more of a butthole than I had intended. Anyway, tell me what you think. Comment and stuff and see you guys, hopefully, in the next chapter. Thanks for reading.