Swirl of Chaos

by BunkerBuster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Other
Length: 1862

The guilt from her past keeps Celestia awake once again.

Celestia is awake late once again, as she always is. Alone in her room like every night. And just like every night, she goes through every letter he ever sent her. She has a promised to keep.

I'll never forget.

Published 2014-02-20 22:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-20 22:50:03 UTC

A Swirl of Chaos

The night wind blew across the balcony and threw the open doors, ruffling the thin curtains on its way and sending a chill down an exposed ivory flank. The victim of this cold magicked the fluffy blanket around her body to stave off the chilly air, refusing to let a bit of cold stop her from enjoying the feel of her sister's night. Besides, cold works better to shrug sleepiness away than any tonic her staff could come up with. Tonight was a late night for the monarch. Every night was a late night. If it was royal duties that kept her awake, she wouldn't complain, but this was not for royal duty that she refused sleep. This was for herself. This was something she promised long ago to a dear friend.

And so here was Celestia, up late once again because of her own foolishness. It had been her fault, after all. All the signs had been there, all the clues that let her know something was wrong. Even her magic had been disturbed so noticeably, yet she had ignored it. She ignored somepony who had needed help. His stubbornness had been her guide, and she had let it rule her. And now...

Celestia released yet another scroll from her magical grip, letting it fall to the floor before her among the dozens of other scrolls she always brought out. For years, she had read and reread these same scrolls. Every since that day. She had them memorized, even rewrote them as the pages grew old and worn. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she once again lifted yet another scroll up to read. "It was so different back then." The monarch said quietly to the emptiness of the room as if it would come to answer her, as if her own guilt would manifest itself. But it did manifest itself, didn't it? Not there, in her room, not then. Her guilt-made-flesh was elsewhere now. Where didn't matter, so long as it stayed far away for tonight. Far, far away.

There was an old saying that went "speak of Discord, and he shall come."

It was the almost silent, barely noticeable pop and flash that cued his arrival to her vacant room. Right out of the corner of her eye, Celestia saw him appear on the balcony despite his attempt at stealth. The scroll wavered in her magic grip, but she recovered quickly, keeping her eyes on the writing. She had read this one over a thousand times. She had read them all over a thousand times. A light tip-tapping alerted her to the creature's movement in the room. He was trying to sneak up on her. Again.

"What do you want, Discord?" Celestia growled as the tip-tapping grew closer. She could practically hear him slump beside her.

"It's no fun if you don't atleast play along." Discord crossed his mismatched arms over his chest, even adding a "hmph" just for emphasis.

Celestia just shook her head and set the scroll down gingerly with its fellows, keeping a lingering gaze on the chaotic stack. The sickly sweet irony wasn't lost on her in the slightest. With a heavy sigh, the monarch turned to the intruding draconequus. "I'm sorry, What exactly was the trick supposed to be?" She tried her best to keep the annoyance out of her voice, but even after ruling for a thousand years or more, Discord could make the greatest patience wear thin.

And tonight, the Avatar of Chaos was being extremely wearing. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He shifted away a bit, making sure to look straight at the ceiling the entire time.

"No, please, tell me. I want to know. " Celestia responded with no earnest.

The draconequus shook his head with enough force to make a slight rattle. Though that may have been intentional. "Nope. If you can't even be patient enough to wait for it, you don't deserve to know."

The monarch was in no mood to play his games, so she didn't. Another scroll lighted in her magical thrall, driftly as if as on the breeze to her and opening with just an much gentility. Despite the fact she would rather not have him here when she did this, Celestia refused to break the pact she had made so long ago. I will never forget. She began to re-reread for the thousandth time.

"It was a good trick too."

Celestia didn't flinch.

"Even you would have liked it."

A slight eye twitch.

"I worked on it all day."

Teeth ground slowly.

"The least you could be is appreciative that I even thought of you, you know."

Heavy eye twitch. Teeth grinding levels to maximum. It was far too late and she was not in the mood. "Discord..." She said through the grinding.

"I'm just trying to have a little fun-"

"Discord..."

"-but you just refuse to enjoy yourself."

"Go. Now."

The Chaos Spirit continued onward. "Sometimes I don't even know why I bother."

There comes a time, every once in a great while, where the sound of someones sanity breaking becomes audible. This moment happened to be one of those times.

The Sun monarch released her grip on the scroll and transferred it to one of Discord's mismatched horns, pulling him down to look her right in the eyes. The draconequus was not expecting this kind of reaction from the normally calm, if terse, ruler, and his expression showed it. Hers was of cold, calculating, horrifying anger. It was something he hadn't seen in so long. An expression he had never wanted to see again.

"Discord," she began, her voice carrying that special lilt to it that can only come from the thoughts of harming someone when one has no prohibitions against it. "you will either leave on your own accord, or I will force you to leave on mine. You will do this now."

The Avatar of Chaos looked deep into Celestia's eyes and saw that she wasn't going to make his departure painless. He'd have to leave on his own or risk a world of pain. The Sun monarch would not hold back this time. His eyes glanced, only for a moment, down to the scroll she had previously been reading. The opening line was something else he hadn't seen in a very long time. It held memories not his own buried far, far away. Deep, hiding, as if underwater in some dark pool. Yet he could feel them. Every last one, if only faintly. His eyes once again met the vicious gaze of Celestia; he said the only thing he thought of: "I'm sorry, Celly." And he was gone with a flash and pop.

She was alone again. It was what she had wanted. Discord had actually left her alone. Celestia's anger fizzled out, her magical energy felt drained, and every inch of her twitched with a rage left unfed. It was late. Again. It was always late. But there was one more scroll to go over. A personal letter. The one she hated and loved most. Relaxing once again, as best as she could, the monarch took the letter in her magical grasp once more and began to read.

To my dearest Celly,

I know you hate how formal our normal correspondence has to be, but we both know why that it is. After all, we can't have later generation reading "dearest Celly" letters every time they study my work, can we? You and I both know what kind of fit that would bring about. Even your sister, as much as I love her, thought the same thing. I remember how interesting that night was when we sat her down to explain. The poor mare looked so nervous! Of course, the relief was blatantly obvious when she found out the truth after I ridiculed you for the hundredth time not to tease her so. I still haven't figured out if you had a hand in all the pranks Luna played on me during my studies. She already admitted to you setting that invisible ink spell on my spell book so I would get out for one run in my life. Still upset about that, I'll have you know! The guards looked at me like I had gone completely mad!

But as wonderful as our times have been, that is not what this letter is about, as much as I wish it were. Perhaps a later one- and now I'm getting off track again; I told you this is why I only write spells! Anyway, I have begun work on my greatest spell. My magnum opus of magic. For the first time, I think I can finally harness the power of the Sphere of Chaos! I have most of it down now, but the last few lines are eluding me. I would come to you personally for this, as you know, but I want to try this one on my own. As much as I enjoy your company and guidance when I am troubled, this is something I have to do alone. As such, you won't be seeing me for some time. As if you see me often now! I haven't tried casting what I do have yet since the last time I did that, I lost an entire wing of the castle for a week. Perhaps in the morning.

Celestia, I have some advice about the problem you asked me when we last met, though if it was a week ago or a month or a year, I surely don't know it. I understand your worries more than you think. Luna has gotten increasingly reclusive and tense around everyone. I too have tried to talk with her, but she can't seem to so much as look me in the eye. I know how busy you get and how difficult ruling can be, but you must make more time for her in your day. Take a week off or something. Let some squire handle court for a day or two; that would be interesting, yes? Celly, watch the moon rise with her. If only once. Whether or not you know it, you mean the world to her.

Until next we meet or letter next sent, you and your sister will be second in my thoughts only to this spell of mine.

Yours in Love and Harmony,

Starswirl

Celestia placed the letter carefully among the pile of other letters and scrolls. A single tear rolled down her white cheek. She touched a hoof to the damp fur in surprise. It had been a long time since any of his writing had actually made her cry; it had been a few hundred years since one even got her choked up. The monarch looked once more at the pile of letters, taking a moment to tidy them into an orderly stack. Each one placed to balance between another in a perfect triangle of parchment. It didn't feel right. With a tender burst of magic, the pile was once again in chaotic disarray. It brought a smile to her face, even if it was a fleeting one.