Canterlot Metal City

by Goldymarg

Rating: everyone
Tags: Gilda, Iron Will, Lightning Dust, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3
Length: 2205

"Alright, wait just one pony-picking second here! This band's supposed to be progressive rock, not heavy metal! This is totally bogus, I thought we were all in this together?!"

"Alright, wait just one pony-picking second here! This band's supposed to be progressive rock, not heavy metal! This is totally bogus, I thought we were all in this together?!"

DJ P0N-3, or Vinyl Scratch as she's normally called, had long since made a name for herself as Ponyville's premiere DJ. For nearly three years running, she's long since enjoyed the fame and luxury that came with her job, as well as the music she created week after week. Techno, R&B, trance, dubstep, she's done many a genre in her career. But now that her fame has reached a new height, she thought it best to finally make her big break in the nation's capital itself, and put together the band she had always dreamed of having.

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Written and submitted to EqD's Writer's Training Grounds #008 with the prompt, "A new singing group has taken over Canterlot! Unfortunately one of their members is causing all sorts of trouble!"

Published 2014-02-21 05:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-21 05:30:02 UTC

The first gig

Canterlot Amphitheater, Main Stage
11:47 pm

Vinyl Scratch felt her nerves flare up like they were on fire, the bass guitar around her body feeling much heavier than usual. She nearly lost control of the levitation around her pick, and her legs started trembling against her will. If it wasn't for her trademark glasses covering her face, everypony out in the audience would be seeing just how panicked she looked. Everything about this was wrong, what were her other band members doing? This wasn't anything like what they've been rehearsing for the past week. The tempo and time were all off, the riffs being played were completely different, and it looked like the volume was higher than it's maximum. It was only when the drummer started that she realized that they were all in on this somehow. If it wasn't for the fact that her part didn't start for another eight measures, they would've easily made fools of themselves on stage. She glared at the back of Gilda's head from behind her glasses, mentally screaming at her. As much as she wanted to tackle the griffon to the ground, all she could do now was remember her scales, improvise, and hope for the best.

“Sorry ya namby-pamby ponies,” Gilda screamed into the mic. “But we're Canterlot Metal City! Any a' you dweebs without a hearin' aid's gonna need one after we're done!”

West Canterlot, One Month Ago
12:03 pm

A griffon with ruffled feathers and an irritated demeanor pushed the glass door open and stepped inside, the musty smell of dust and age invading her nostrils. Her already sour expression soured even further upon seeing what was inside – or at least, the lack thereof. The room was spacious and completely empty, the only notable things being a dusty wooden floor, peeling paint on the walls and ceiling, a darkened room across from her, and a turquoise pegasus leaning against the wall. Closing her eyes and scratching the back of her head, she said, “Ugh...alright, what's this all about again? I didn't bother reading that flyer, so you're gonna hafta fill me in.”

The pony raised her eyebrow and gave the griffon walking in the building an incredulous look. “What do you mean you didn't read it? The thing's like five lines long! You forget your glasses at home or something, granny?”

“Hey, shove it ya lame pony! You wanna make somethin' of it?!” The griffon balled up her talons and got in the other's face, growling with her wings open.

The pegasus scoffed and turned away, her nostrils flaring. “Ah, back off. I'm here for a job interview, not a street fight. And from the smell of things, I think you kinda need the money too.”

Her aggressor backed up a few steps, her beak hanging open like she wanted to say something. She was fully aware that she hadn't had a decent place to sleep or bathe for the past week, so any retort she could have said wouldn't of been enough. Instead she just turned her head away, digging her talons into the wooden floor.

“Cool, looks like you're all getting along already!” Their attention was brought to a unicorn coming out of the adjacent room, levitating several heavy-looking boxes along with her. She had a white coat, a medium blue mane, and round, magenta sunglasses. Setting down the boxes, she said, “Name's Vinyl Scratch, number one DJ comin' outta Ponyville! Glad you two could show up for the audition!”

The griffon gave her a confused look and raised one of her rear paws like she wanted to walk away, whereas the pegasus simply sighed and stared at the boxes with dejected eyes.

“So, you guys got names? It'd be kinda weird callin' two scruffy or greeny or somethin',” Vinyl said.

“Lightning Dust. I'm an aerial acrobat. Well, used to be anyway...” She cringed, the pegasus' last few words dropping in volume.

Looking between the two of them at first, the griffon cleared her throat and stammered out, “Gilda, and I, uh...wait, this is what I came here for?! A band audition?! Is this some kinda joke?! I don't anything about playing instruments!”

Vinyl jumped over and put a foreleg over her neck, grinning widely. “Hey, don't sweat it! I'll show you the ropes! Besides, from the way you sound, I think you'd make a better lead singer anyway!”

“Wh-what?! Don't you get all cozy with me, ya dweeb! Who says I'm gonna just do what you say?!” Gilda backed away closer to the door, clawing the floor again. Vinyl simply kept grinning, one the corners of her mouth getting higher than the other.

“Weeell...I think this speaks pretty loud...” A white ticket flew in front of Gilda's face, wrapped in a levitation spell. She watched her take it in her talons before continuing, “Ya see, I nabbed us a position as one of the opening acts for Sapphire Shore's next concert. We put on a good show, and we're gonna be three thousand bits richer.”

Lightning Dust's eyes went wide and her mouth hung open as she tried to restrain a gasp. Galloping over to Gilda's side, she quickly scanned the ticket in her claw, confirming that she was telling the truth. Giving Vinyl a nervous smile, she said, “So, eh heh...what do you want me to play?”

“Y-yeah, what she said!” Gilda's expression was nearly identical, though even more forced.

“Heh, knew you'd see things my way.” The white unicorn stepped back over to the boxes, poking her head inside. “Now, lesse...with those wings, I think you'd be good playin' melody on guitar. And with yours truly on bass, all we need now is a drummer. Too bad you two were the only ones to show up...”

Almost on cue to her musings, the front door crashed open, it's top hinge breaking cleanly in half as a massive blue minotaur ducked his way inside. Looking at the crooked door, he said in a gruff, manly voice, “Uhh...Iron Will apologizes for breaking your front door. Are you the one holding the auditions?”

Vinyl's wide grin was back the moment she laid eyes on him. “...and I think we have a winner!”

-One Week Later
10:19 pm

“Aw, c'mon dude! You missed your cue again by like, a whole measure! We've been over this a thousand times already!”

Gilda spun around, her tail smacking the microphone stand and nearly knocking it over. She stomped over to Vinyl in the corner wanting to scream bloody murder, but clamped her beak shut to restrain herself. The last thing she wanted was to blow off her employer and lose her job. Her eyes darted around for a second before centering back on the pony in front of her as she yelled, “Well it ain't my fault you want us to play this dumb music! Seriously, this sounds like something I'd hear some loser listening to on a college campus!”

“Look, you don't like my taste in music, then tough. If we wanna entertain those Canterlot ponies, then we gotta cater to the clientele, even if they are a little uptight. I don't like this any more than you guys do, believe me.” Vinyl stepped past Gilda and outside into the evening air, the stares from her band members feeling like daggers in her back. “I'm gonna call it a night. We'll start on the second page tomorrow, alright?”

The door creaked shut behind her, leaving a quiet gloom in the old building. Lightning Dust had slumped to the ground, while Iron Will had his arms crossed and his eyes closed while seated behind a drum set. Gilda took a swipe at the wall, leaving a set of three claw marks in it alongside countless others that she had made over the week.

“I'm startin' to think this ain't worth it. Last thing I wanna do is look like some pansy in front of a bunch of ponies,” Gilda said into the wall.

“Hrmmm...Iron Will's been thinking about it too. So...” The minotaur reached behind himself and pulled out a stack of music scores, much to the surprise of the other two. “...Iron Will decided to pick up more, uh...'appropriate' music for us to practice.”

The both of them flew over and hovered just above his shoulders, taking a few minutes to look at the sheet music. Lightning Dust was the first to smirk, nudging him in the ribs. “Hey, you've been holding out on us? You should've shown us these days ago!”

Steam blew out of his nostrils along with a grunt as he said, “Iron Will wasn't sure if we could do our parts, but now that we've been at this for a week, Iron Will thought it was time to put on the real show! A show that's rough, that's tough, that's so big and bad, that Canterlot will EXPLODE in a blaze of our music! We'll put on a show that nopony'll ever forget!”

Gilda laughed out loud, “NOW you're speakin' my language! Time to put in some overtime, guys!”

Canterlot Amphitheater, Main Stage
12:19 pm

(“Uggg...I guess I can add miracle worker to my resume now...”)

Vinyl was beside herself. At this point, her nerves felt frayed and her legs were asleep from all the trembling. Keeping up with a genre that she knew next to nothing about took every bit of concentration and improvisation that she could muster. She had never been more thankful that they were on the last song for tonight. Looking out into the crowd, she could see that most of the audience wasn't sure if they should be enjoying this or not.

Shriek the lips across a ragged tongue,
Convulsing to~gether sing violently,
Move the jaw
Cry aloud
Bound up the dead triumphantly

Vinyl winced again internally for the hundredth time, the lyrics themselves constantly reminding her of how bad this all was. Yes, it was a good tune, but there was no way they'd be able to find work in Canterlot again after this fiasco.

Canterlot Amphitheater, Dressing Room 2
12:31 am

“Hah hah hah HAH! You see the look on those ponies faces?! Aw man, I totally wish I had a camera on me!”

“Iron Will has never rocked harder in his life! There's no one better, there's no one greater!”

“I gotta admit, I didn't think we'd even pull it off. Good thing I stuck around with you guys as long as I did.”

*SLAM*

The rest of the band's personal after party was interrupted with the door slamming open, the top hinge breaking in two. Vinyl levitated the bass guitar off of herself and gently placed it in the corner, placing her glasses with it. Slamming a hoof down, she yelled, “Alright, wait just one pony-picking second here! This band's supposed to be progressive rock, not heavy metal! This is totally bogus, I thought we were all in this together?!”

Gilda gulped down a mug of cider, sitting with her back against the wall. Setting the thing on the floor, she said, “Yeah, well, the rest of us changed our minds. You're pretty good to keep up with us though. Lightning Dust and I had a bet going too. Looks like I owe her fifty bits.”

Her response only served to make things worse. A vein appeared on the unicorn's head, and the sound of her teeth grinding filled the small room. “I can't believe this! I put this band together! You guys weren't even interested in joining, you were just in it for the money! Why'd you all hafta go and ruin my big break?!”

Standing up from a kneeling position, Lightning Dust said, “Look, Vinyl...did ya ever think that maybe you're the one holding us back? I mean, think about it. You really think that college rock was gonna make any impact? Yeah, sure, we were just in it for the money at first. But lookin' back, I'm thinkin' this might be a lot more fun than I thought.”

“I'll say!”

A short, stocky pony squeezed his way past Vinyl and into the dressing room. He had a light blue coat and was wearing a gray blazer. “That performance was spectacular! Truly amazing! I've never seen a band with such raw talent!”

“Yeah, thanks. Who're you supposed to be again?” Gilda deadpanned.

Taking a small bow, he said, “Of course, of course, where are my manners?! I'm a producer from Los Pegasus, here to enjoy Sapphire Shore's latest tour, when I just happened to catch your opening act! I simply MUST have you under contract! I just KNOW that Canterlot Metal City's gonna be big! Whaddya say?!”

Vinyl heard him, but was still rattled by what Lightning Dust had said to her. Was she really holding them back? Would this producer still be barging into their dressing room if they kept to her original plan?

“Uh...wow. I dunno what to say...except, sure. Yeah. Let's go for it.”

Author's Note

2/20/14 - Literally pushed this one through as the doors were closing. Once again, I'm not particularly confident of what I've got, but...I've still got it down.