Chapter 8: In the jungle, the mighty jungle

“God dammit, Paul!”

What in the seven circles of hell was he thinking? No, don’t camp your gear, what a useless waste of time.

Of course, now he had to huddle under my blankets, his feathery body pressed against mine as we shared the same pile of blankets. And most of my clothes served as something to lay on, since the ground was freezing cold.

Not to mention that, as if the “bro” meter wasn’t off the charts by now, he started to wiggle.

And it felt goooood.

No, I am not homosexual, don’t give me that look. It just felt really nice. You know, try getting really ultra soft feather dusters or something akin to that, build a… blanket out of it, and then rub it all over your body at the same time.

No, that came out wrong again. Just forget it.

“What the hell.” I threw an arm around him and hugged him close. God, better than any pillow ever.

I still ought to throw him and let him freeze his ass to teach him a lesson, though.

We had been on the march for the better part of the day. Since we left the village somewhere after noon, we hadn’t been walking all that long. But my legs still hurt and I was glad to give them some rest by the light and warmth of a fireplace. Paul lent a paw, brought some rocks and put them in a circle after I had started doing it, and then I ignited it.

We were camping some ways off the road to not attract any unwanted attention from fellow travellers (not like there were many, though), but it also meant we were surrounded by the wildlife. Only God knew what lived in this forest.

Was God even here? I mean, if he was meant to create the whole of universe, then by that logic he had to create this world, too. I think that contradicted a few things in the Bible, though. Not like I knew. I’ve never read it.

Perhaps we weren’t even in my universe? Maybe this was an alternative dimension or something like that, a world parallel to ours.

I didn’t really have much time to ponder on the existence of things. Sleep fell upon me almost immediately with my head on  Paul’s chest, both of us bundled under the meager blankets I brought with me.

He suddenly draped his wing over me – rousing me from sleep – thus providing another soft and warm layer over my freezing ass. The crackling of fire was less intense now, and I thought for half a second about getting up and feeding the fire some more. That thought was murdered brutally with a thousand spoons before a full second could pass. I shifted a little, but not much, and that was about it.

Thankfully, Paul wasn’t the snoring kind of guy.

Well, I jinxed it...

But luckily the universe seemed to restrain itself, because he didn’t start snoring. Hurrah for calm, undisturbed sleep.

I woke up when Paul did, because I was all over him in manners I didn’t want to talk about. We might’ve been crimson for a while after that. And we might’ve not been. You wouldn’t know.

Anyway, I was still tired, my legs were on fire with pain, and my bladder was about to explode. After the call of nature had been answered and I scattered the ash and stone of the fireplace, I realized something.

Unsurprisingly, the forest looked a whole lot different in the light of day than it did in the not-light of falling night. And unsurprisingly, that’s something I didn’t account for.

Great, we were lost and it wasn’t even a day since we had left.

“Well, shit,” I cursed matter-of-factly into the silent forest, kinda hoping the trees would part and let us out back onto the road. I turned to Paul who was dusting off my blankets. While he did notice me staring, he didn’t try to communicate with me until he finished.

Meanwhile I got me some fresh water and a piece of bread. I offered some food and drink to Paul, too. He accepted gladly, though I knew how useless the gesture was. I’ve seen the gryphons eat. Their snack time could be considered a viking feast in the times of old.

But we were friends, so I guess that counted anyway.

Took me some time to “fold” the blankets back into my bag (I was never a space-efficient person), but soon we were both ready to go and hit the road again. Except, there was still the problem of where the hell the road was.

Paul was obviously waiting for me to go first. I just stared at him somewhat dumbly, while his head jerked a few times in random directions, obviously urging me to go on. I just shrugged and said, “I don’t know where to go, man.”

He tilted his head. However, he noticed me still standing and looking around, trying to get some bearings unsuccessfully. At that, he slumped his head and sighed heavily, before muttering something and taking to the air. Oh, right.

It was hard for him, since the forest was pretty dense and the canopy of trees let little light in, so he had to climb through it first. Then he was gone, and the trees closed after him as if he had never went through there.

It took him about five minutes before he returned, and soon we were on our way again.

There were a few travellers roaming the road, some passing us, some stopping to look at me, while others tried to engage in a conversation, to which Paul was always the one talking. Most of the travellers, however, seemed to prefer air travel instead of walking, and now and then we would see a shadow speeding through the sky.

Though, not all the travellers that we did engage in conversation were all that polite. One dumbass even attacked me.

It was when Paul was getting something to eat and drink. Since he was a big guy, he needed to eat a lot and my meager supplies would last him for maybe a breakfast. So he’d wander off in search of some game and ponds, often disappearing for a few hours at end, but he did it only once a day.

There was the sound of fluttering heavy wings, the swoosh of air, and then something landed in front of me. It was a grey gryphon with white splotches across his (I got a feeling for recognizing male and female gryphons during my stay in the village) chest. He squawked something, but I didn’t understand so I just said one of the few words I knew: “Hello!”

The gryphon looked taken aback a little, but he quickly recovered and started circling me, watching me up and down, his eyes resting especially on my weapons. I put my hand near the handle of my mace and kept facing him. He squawked something again, and again I answered with a hearty hello, trying to sound as pleasant as I could. I also took off my backpack, letting it fall onto the ground behind me. If there had to be a fight, I’d better be as agile as I could.

Then he took to the air and disappeared above the trees.

“Huh,” I looked after him for a little while but after half a minute I gave up. Once the assurance that he’d not come back settled in my mind, I turned around and reached for the backpack...

A shadow suddenly hung over me, sharp agony erupted in my shoulders, and I gasped in both surprise and pain as I was lifted off the ground, and before I knew it, we were above the trees.

“Paul!” I screamed immediately at the gryphon that wasn’t present.

I looked up to find some asshole gryphon had decided to take me for a ride. We were already high above the forest, but still I started thrashing and beating with my fist, to no avail of course. He looked at me, hissed something and then did a barrel roll, all the while I was screaming my lungs out.

I didn’t really thrash after that.

In some subconscious moment of clarity, my right hand reached to my belt where a hefty and unused mace awaited my command, while my left hand reached out to hold onto the gryphon’s claw holding me by my left shoulder

“Hey!” I yelled at the gryphon through the screaming of wind. He tilted his head toward me, his left eye gazing. I scowled from the effort and pain of moving my right arm and shoulder in his grasp, but still gave that bastard a vicious uppercut with the mace. It was quite difficult, since the mace was heavy and my arm was restricted.

Of course I wasn’t thinking about the consequences of doing that.

His head snapped back and he lost control of his wings, resulting in us getting into a jumbled mess of limbs falling to the ground. I reached with my right hand in an attempt to catch onto something, and in a miraculous chance managed to locked my forearm around his neck while still clutching my mace.

With a jerk and some biting pain (though it was mostly due to the momentum of falling), I managed to wriggle my left shoulder free, and when I did, I reached under my shirt and grabbed the handle of a small dagger strapped against my chest. It took me three tries before I managed to grab onto it, though. Wasn’t anything easy in mid-flight.

Soon enough, I was flailing in the air alongside (or rather, “underside”) the disoriented gryphon while also trying to stab him. I really wasn’t thinking by then. I just tried to get rid of him, not taking into consideration that he was also my only way to get out of this alive. But people do weird things in stressful situations.

Anyway, all of that happened within fifteen seconds or so, and it looked less graceful than I make it out to be. I was scared shitless and I would’ve screamed if not for my aching throat after the initial hollering.

Then the gravity shifted and I found myself not against his abdomen and chest, but on his back.

The gryphon started screeching, the sound making my ears hurt exponentially. Instinctively, I grabbed my ears with both of my hands, trying to cover them from the horrible onslaught. Mind you, I was still clutching the damned mace so I also hit myself on the head with it. Luckily, my dagger seemed to be gone.

That also left me with nothing to catch onto the gryphon, since my legs were still flailing in the air. Plus I was a little disoriented myself because of the self-inflicted clubbing.

Soon I was left alone tumbling through the open air. At that moment, after being in no danger from the gryphon, the realization of where I found myself hit me. I started screaming once more as I fell to my death.

“Peter!” someone yelled somewhere, and with a jolt of my head, I looked around with panic only to see the familiar beige of my friend, his claws extended to catch me. My brain ordered me to stop thrashing and screaming, letting him catch me by my legs. Sometimes, my brain gives me great advice.

Soon we flew over the treetops, and before I knew it we were on the ground where I collapsed with shaking legs, my heart beating like never before.

“Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell,” I kept repeating in-between deep, quick breaths. I lay on my back, hands grabbing the dirt and pebbles of the trampled road.

I looked up, but the dastardly kidnapping gryphon was nowhere in sight in the clear blue sky.

After this, we tried not to get separated as much, and when Paul had to go, I’d hide instead of walk without him. No one tried anything funny the rest of the way, anyway. And in a moment of incredible luck, I found my mace near some scared-off gryphon that was examining the weapon with fear and curiosity while searching the sky for something. I took the mace politely from his claws, and soon we went on our way while leaving a confused gryphon merchant behind.

During the next three days, we kept walking during the day and during the night we would camp. He’d try to teach me more of the language while walking and camping, too. Numbers, things around me, you name it. He’d point at something or try to gesticulate things, while repeating the same words. I felt like a drooling pre-school kid.

You might ask what took us days to get out of some forest. Well, the forest was really big. And half the time we spent resting. Walking all day is serious business. My legs were hating me the second day since we set out, and it only got worse with each passing day.

Anyway. At long last, on the fourth day we emerged from the forest.

“Finally!”

After days of walking the endless road going through the damned forest, we emerged into a paradise. Rolling meadows as far as the eye could see, small patches of trees here and there, and the road winding along the long grass, while a river emerged not so far to our right from the forest and cut its way down one of the meadows, where it formed a large pond. Around the pool were what looked like small gryphons, while a larger one was resting on an uphill.

To our left we could see houses and large structures and all sorts of wood were littered around them. We could see the small village buzzing with activity, hear the chopping and cutting of wood, the sound of children, and the sound of a tree being felled somewhere in the forest as huge crash echoed behind us.

There was a smaller road winding from the one we were walking; a road that led into the small village. I looked at Paul uncertainly, unsure if going there would be a good idea. But that didn’t seem to bother him as he had already begun walking there.

“Paul,” I called out to him and he turned around, tilting his head.

“What?”

I put a hand over my chest, shook my head and said, “No.”

Paul rolled his eyes, turned back and started walking toward the village again with a single word I didn’t understand yet.

“Paul.”

He sighed and turned around once again. I threw down my backpack, took the axe from it, and then threw the backpack at Paul. He caught it uncertainly. I just gestured stuffing my mouth and drinking something.

“Oh,” was all he said, then he nodded and went into the village while I retreated back into the shadows and underbrush of the forest.

“Well, that didn’t work out quite well.”

My sore shoulders that were still recovering from the unprovoked assault were once again agonized by a pair of claws of one of the gryphons that found me hiding so innocently behind some bushes. I gave up my weapons pretty quickly, alright. They had weapons of their own (axes with blades as big as my ass), and they didn’t appear to be afraid to use them. Especially on a fully armed creature that they had probably never seen before.

So, of course, since I tried to look non-hostile, they captured me instead of gutting me right then and there. Now these four gryphons – probably lumberjacking buddies – were flying me to the village whilst displaying me like a damned trophy.

And suddenly, children started to crowd us, some gryphons started shouting, more gryphons flew in to look at me and all that jazz. Between those gryphons was, of course, Paul.

I decided not to call out to him. Paul’d be better off not associating with me right now. Meanwhile, the gryphon in question looked shocked at first, but then he facepalmed and shook his head while mumbling something.

They forced me to my knees in the middle of the village square as the onlooking gryphons, both big and small, surrounded me in a wide circle to give the gryphons holding me some space. And probably to not get close to me, too.

One gryphon, dark grey plumage, white chest, and chestnut eyes, moved through the crowd, the others making a way for him, until he came up directly to me. One of the four gryphons handed him my axe and my mace. They didn’t try to look under my clothing, but it’s not like I had my dagger anymore. Since, you know, I lost it during the flight-fight.

He put the weapons down, then looked at me. His eyes became slits and his eyebrows promised doom upon my soul.

With anger clearly notable in his voice, he started sputtering something that sounded like threats while I looked on passively, his words seemingly having no effect on me, mostly because I didn’t understand anything he was spewing. The message was still clear, though. I tried really hard not to sweat and not to shake. No, I wasn’t afraid at all; it was the adrenalin. Yep.

Anyway, he didn’t notice, and my calm facade clearly irritated him. Before it could get out of hand (or claw), I spoke, “Sorry dude, I don’t speak Balderdash.”

That stopped him, and his anger was replaced with confusion. Then he said squawked something to which I replied, "If you’re asking me if I understand, then no, I don’t.” I was looking him dead in the eyes the whole time.

Anyway, right when I answered and the interrogator was about to slap me some, Paul decided to man up and step into the arena. I don’t know if I should be scolding him or cheering him on, but he put himself out there, in the harm’s way… for me. There was just something heartwarming about that.

“No!” He squawked and stepped forward. All the gryphons and one human turned their heads to him. Once he saw he had everyone’s attention, he gulped, but continued kind of confidently. Kind of.

“Garble garble garble, Peter, garble garble garble. Garble.”

He talked like that for a while, sometimes pointing at seemingly random things in random directions and making exaggerated poses.

I could feel the tension on my right shoulder lessen, and when I looked up, the gryphon holding me had his bird cheeks stained with tears. When I looked around on the gryphons surrounding us, some were shocked, some were “not buying it” so to speak; some just listened intently, some were on verge of emotional breakdowns.

Alright, what the hell was he telling them now?

Paul finished. Everyone was silent.

The presumed leader looked back at me in thought, but after a few seconds ushered the gryphons holding me away with his claw. Talon. Whatever.

My shoulders immediately sagged in relief, and I even dared to get on my feet again. It hurt to dust my legs off because of the shoulders and- Great, my knees were scraped. Nothing serious, of course. Just mild annoyance if it wouldn’t get infected or something.

All of the villagers looked at me but I couldn’t tell much. I was still bad at reading bird faces.

The leader nodded to me sharply before going closer to Paul to talk some more. After that, the villagers went their ways, some still looking back at me.

“Does it mean I am free?”

...

“Umm… hello?”