The cannon of the head

by deli73

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Romance, Tragedy, Random, Alternate Universe
Length: 455

And so it begins...

Consider this my dumping ground for dumb ideas.

Chapter Tags to look out for:
{E} = Completely safe. There won't be many of these, since this is mostly my dumping ground for stories that are either too disturbing or too incomplete to post. Given that the "E-rated" ones will only fall into the latter category, they're probably not worth reading.
{S} = Clop/Sexual themes. No graphic details.
{G} = Gore/Creepy stuff. Again, nothing too graphic, but pretty disturbing.
{-} = Very very incomplete; a rough idea or a few paragraphs.
{+} = I might actually resume work on it in the future, but I'm not planning to do so anytime soon.
{AU} = Involves alternate universes.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-20 20:42:39 UTC

{-}{AU}: TF2 Ponies

"Whatinthehell is this thing?  Looks like a horse." (engineer)

Voices. Twilight could hear voices. But despite her consciousness slowly returning, she couldn't move a muscle. She couldn't even open her eyes.

"It does appear to be an equid of some sort." (medic)

"A what?" (engineer)

"Horses, Donkeys, Zebras, and such." (medic)

"I ain't never seen a purple zebra before." (scout)

"Nobody asked you, Scout!" (engineer)

"Mission begins in 60 seconds." a calm female voice announced, apparently over some sort of loudspeaker.

"Damn. What're we gonna do with it?" (engineer)

"I have a name, you know!" Twilight retorted, finally finding the energy to speak.

{+}{E}: Equestrian Origins

Thousands of years ago, before the Eternal Winter and the founding of Equestria, before the sun and moon, there was a city called New Babylon. Nobody remembered why it was called New Babylon and not just Babylon, but they didn't think about it either. They had much bigger problems.

Nopony ever looked at the sky in those days. There wasn't much to look at; it was just an endless sheet of grey. There was no concept of day or night, but everyone still needed sleep. The problem was that nopony could agree on when to sleep. Everypony had different Sleeping Times, and barely anything could ever get done because of it. The successful construction of the city was a miracle in itself, although there was no concept of miracles in that time either.

In this strange and chaotic time, magic was more or less the only thing that kept things in order. It allowed the unicorns to communicate without being awake at the same time, and coordinate activities to at least some degree. As such, magic was considered a very important thing in New Babylon. All unicorns were expected to know a basic levitation spell by a very young age, and to have mastered at least the first three levels by the time they reached adulthood.

Our story begins in a school of magic, where two sisters were preparing for their magic exams…

"But what if I mess up?" Luna ranted nervously. "What if I don't get it right? What if I'm rejected? What if they start calling me a... a..." She couldn't say it aloud.

"You'll do fine, Luna!" Celestia gently replied for the hundredth time, pushing a strand of pink hair away from her face. "Just take a deep breath and calm down."

"Maybe I should have picked a more standard routine. They might not approve of this."

"Don't start second-guessing yourself again!" Celestia smiled encouragingly. "Your routine is unique. That's why it's wonderful."

Luna gave her sister a quick hug. "Thanks. Good luck!"

"You too. I don't think you'll need it, though."