Journal of a Conquering Sorcerer

by Dragonlover553

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Gore
Length: 5089

Just another costumed human turns Equestria conquering wizard via the Alicorn amulet story. But htis one will be the worst of all. It's mine, after all.

To Admins: I am remaking this story. I didn't mean to submit it and can't get rid of the likes and dislikes even by unsubmitting it.
When a 17 year old named Jake dresses up like an evil sorcerer for a Halloween party, he makes the mistake of adding an evil-looking amulet of an alicorn. When he puts it on, he's magically transported to the land of Equestria. Several misunderstandings later, Jake, now known as "Zathrix", is marked public enemy number 1. This is his journal(though every once in a while I may have it as the actually seen).

Warning, this fic will suck, it is one of mine, so you should know this by now.

Also, swearing.

Inspired by Malideus by the genius known as Uberdeathninja and The Rise of Darth Vulcan by the mad man known as RealityCheck and this thing!!!!

Anyone know where I can get a good evil-sorcerer-king-kind pic?

The ONE time I actual try and get prereaders, editors, and other assorted help, I can't find it. WTF!?

Published 2014-03-23 04:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-17 02:39:44 UTC

Pilot

Day 0:
Hello Journal. I'm Jake, your owner and writer. I'm keeping you so that I don't have to keep all these memories solely to myself. Being an evil sorcerer in command of anthropomorphic dogs is exhausting enough already. Now, let me tell you how this whole mess go started.

Jakes's POV
It was Halloween day. I was currently planning for a costume party hosted by my friend. I was planning to go as a warlock - king. I had put the entire costume together from scratch. Well, not exactly. More, I took pieces from other costumes, mixed them, and added my own touches. I had the Grimm Reaper's cloak, a warlock's staff, a belt I found laying around, the armor of the black knight, two AC hidden blades, some magic-looking rings, things like that. It came complete with a book that would serve as my fake grimoire- a magician's personal spell book and journal, and a pen. I had bought a custom evil overlord crown/helmet. It even covered my face. Why you ask? Because evil overlords that show their faces are wimps, that's why! I was at a pawn shop so I could put the finishing touches on. That's when I say it. The amulet. I don't know how or why, but it caught my eye. It seemed magical enough, and it just radiated evil. I could say it gives my character control over unicorns. I though. Who would dare challenge an evil warlock king with an army of hostages? I picked it up and brought it to the cashier. "Hey man, how much for this?" I asked the employee.
"Hmm" said the man thoughtfully. "Well, we just found it on the side of the road." He said. "And the electricity keeps shorting out near it." He considered. "Soooo... how bout $20?"
"Fifteen."
"Seventeen."
"Sixteen fifty."
"Deal." I paid the man and left for home with the amulet. The instant I got back to my apartment, my phone's alarm went off. I had set it earlier so that I'd have enough time to get my costume on and not be late to the party. "Aw come on." I said. "Can't you give me a minute?" The phone replied by continuing to ring. So dismissed the alarm, and went to put it on. The all black underclothes first, then the armor, then the belt with book and pen, then the helmet, then finally my black leather boots..and finally my trench coat. It was cold outside, I'd take it off once I got there. I picked up the staff then realized I was forgetting something. The amulet. I thought. Forgot about that. I picked it up, and hung it on my neck. I was having trouble locking the clamp on the back, when out of nowhere, it moved itself into place and locked. Suddenly, I knew what it was. Magic. My instincts had told me. When you see real magic up close, close enough to touch it, for the first time, you'll know it. My body quacked in fear. Fear, but not disbelief. As I quacked in fear, my light bulbs suddenly burnt out. All around the apartment, the electronics malfunctioned, burnt out and let off a small amount of smoke. At the exact same time. All of them. From the freezer to the lamps to the TV to the computer to the smoke detector. Everything. Then the building itself began to shake, as thought an earthquake was happening. "What the fuck!?" I shouted. As if the madness levels weren't high enough, suddenly, a black hole suddenly opened just a few feet away from me, and began sucking me- but nothing else- toward it. "What the fuck?!!?" I shouted again.
"KEEP IT DOWN!!" shouted that asshole from the next apartment over(every building's go it's resident asshole. Like every boom town had it's resident old coot. It just sort of happend). "I'M TRYING TO GET THE TV BACK ON!!"I didn't have time to consider the implications of his response because regrettably, that was the last thing I heard on Planet Earth.

Day 1:
I woke up in a forest with three anthropomorphic dogs trying to pick me up and take me as a slave. Fortunately for me, they weren't subtle nor gentle, so they woke me up. I pulled out by blades, which were somehow turned into real blades, and dropped into a deadly-looking stance. And thanks to the stance blades, and my perfect poker face, AKA my helmet, they immediately assumed I was a highly skilled warrior and quickly surrendered. That's when I noticed my costume had suddenly become real. Real steel helmet, armor and blades, real wooden rune-carved staff, real robe. Anyway, after they surrendered, they swore loyalty to me, naming me their new alpha. Moments later, we were attacked by what my new minions(whose names turned out to be Rough, Tough, and Carl) called "Timber wolves"(terrible pun, really). About 20 of them. Thinking on my feet, and hopping I could use magic, I tried a spirit arrow, something I had seen online on a "Learn Magic Spells" site. A magician held their pointer and middle finger in a "V", concentrated their energy on the point the two fingers converge, then pushed them together. Imagine my surprise when an arrow of black light shot from my fingertips and hit the wolves, who exploded. Clinging to my sanity, I fired arrow after arrow at the wolves. However, I knew I couldn't keep it up. It was far too draining. I had killed about 15 of the wolves when I saw them begin to reform from the splinters. Honestly, my first thoughts were Shit,Crap,We're fucked. Not necessarily in that order. I realized that if I wanted to live I'd need some bigger magic. Some kind of fire. Since going with my gut had worked so far, I went with it again and shouted some indistinct incantation. I don't know what it was or where it came from, but it worked. I think it was in Latin, and just like that, jets black flames shot from my hands, like fire hoses, consuming the wolves. I know that if I left the fire alone it would burn down the entire forest. I couldn't let that happen. So I shouted something else, another incantation. And just like that, the fires went out, and it all faded to black.

Author's Note

Chapter 1

Day 2:
The Rough, Tough, and Carl (who are apparent members of a species called "Diamond Dogs") told me I had been out a whole day. As if to agree with them, my stomach growled at that exact moment. Fortunately, the dogs had predicted this, and had gotten me some food and moved us near a river while I was out. Good dogs. They had dubbed me "The Dark One" or some reason or another. Anyway, after drinking my fill and eating some of the food(mostly some apples and some cooked mystery meat(some sort of chicken-snake thing apparently)) I got to getting some answers. Unfortunately, the dogs were less than helpful. Apparently I was "In free forest, far from dog mines and between Smoke Mountain and Pony Town". Not exactly longitude and latitude. So I basically asked them to just point me to civilization. They gave me a general direction and said it would be a day and a half's walk to "Ponyville". So I had them spend the next few hours collecting food and making some sort of makeshift canteen or pot or something to carry water in. Somehow, they managed to make a wooden bucket. Once we had food and water, we set out. I spent the time practicing my new found powers.
From what I could tell, real sorcery was some sort of unholy mixture of wizardry from that old Merlin movie(The one with Mab and all that),Dresden Files sorcery, and Kane Chronicles Magic. There were three ways for a sorcerer(as I had taken to calling myself) to use magic: incarnations, gestures of the hand and fingers(certain gestures channel magic easier), and finally, pure thought. Depending on what you're casting, you'll want to use a different level. For a duel, you'll want pure though spells. For an extremely powerful spell, incantations are best, and gestures are good for delicate spells like healing. Through the coarse of the day, I figured out how to summon the shadow fire with a gesture, and then a thought. I could control it like a piece of my own body, and extinguish it with a snap of my fingers. I was even immune to it. Not sure how, probably some kind of it's-a-part-of-me type of thing. I really expected it to be harder. I almost landed in several bad situations, but somehow my dogs came through for me. Rough could identify poisonous plants, Tough could detect dangerous animals, and Carl, well, he didn't do anything really. But nonetheless, after about 15 hours of walking, stopping only for water breaks and a few meals, I decided it was finally time to make camp. That's when I decided it would be a good idea to write in here. Mysteriously, the front half of the book is filled with strand diagrams, symbols, and some kind of language I can't read. I guess I'll just have to figure it out later. Wow, I admit, I'm surprised at how easily I'm taking this. I mean, I'm an average American, I'm not obese, but I'm certainly not capable of walking for almost 15 hours. I should be freaking out, not writing this all down calmly. Hell, maybe I've lost it. No real way to find out is there?

Day 3:
I don't know how long I was asleep, but I was happy when I got up. It was the first time in weeks I actually just naturally woke up. Kinda pathetic isn't it? Admittedly, I was surprised to still be here. It was about 7 AM, must by the tight scheduled I'm used to. Anyway, I somehow discovered I knew a little bit more about magic. I knew that it was easier to bind, bend, and control forces already in play than conjure up new ones, which is part of why I passed out. I knew that I had a pool of magical energy which powered my magic. Once it was used up, sorcery would draw directly upon my life force. Another part of why I passed out. I could literally trade years of my life for those spells. I would refill my pool naturally over time, or by gathering power from the area around me. I don't know how I know, but I have a theory. I think it' s the amulet. It's slowly trickling knowledge into my mind. In the meantime, it would cast any spell I needed for me. What a considerate necklace. However I got here, I need some answers. I realized I would need more power than I had now if I was attacked. I mean, for all I knew, the whole town could be populated by an army of Chuck Noris. Doubt it, but I'm a guy who used to be in a costume of an evil wizard king, which somehow became real after something transported me to what appears to be another world, who now has real magic powers. A little paranoia seems well advised. So I set to work. I got a good sized stick, a little thicker than my thumb, a little longer than two feet. I decided the best plan would be to wait an extra day and make a blasting rod, like from the Dresden Files. It's basically a magic wand, but it's inherently destructive. I somehow knew that it would take more than a few days to make a proper blasting rod, but a crude imitation could be made in a day, with minimal reagents... hopefully. It would be like comparing a paper air plane to a Boeing F/A-18 Hornet(one of the planes the Blue Angels use), but hopefully it could be scary enough to avoid a fight and destructive enough to be used in one. I send Rough out to gather the reagents(I mentally projected images of what I needed into the air for him to see with illusion magic, which I learned from the amulet) , Tough to hunt, and Carl stayed to guard me. I started enchanting the rod. It took all day. I didn't stop to eat or rest. When it was over, I was ready to pass out, but I managed to eat a few scraps of fish before I did. I postponed this entry til day 4.

Day 4:
I woke up feeling pretty good. The dogs had kept watch while I was asleep. I quickly decided if I was going to speak with the locals, I would need to look a little less threatening. It took me about 20 minutes to get the robe and armor off. Surprisingly, I was wearing a slightly baggy long sleeved shirt and a pair of All-American Blue Jeans underneath. The dogs said they'd never seen anything like me before. Which kinda worried me. Nonetheless, it gave me a chance to take inventory of everything the dogs and I had on hand. A breastplate of unknown material(which all of my armor seemed to be made of now), a combination face-conciliating crown-helmet, a pair of gauntlets, a pair of boots, a pair of chain-mail pants, a chain-mail shirt, a leather belt, two steel AC hidden-blades, a small bag, one pen, one book(front half filled with an unknown language, mysterious diagrams, and eldritch symbols, back half being used as this journal), ten mystic-looking rings of gold and silver, covered in assorted gems and symbols mostly from Ancient Roman, Greek, and Egyptian times(one featured the Seal of Solomon), one magic amulet, a bucket of water, a small amount of fish and chicken-creature meat, a simple t-shirt, a pair of pants, a black robe, a trench coat, a blasting rod, and surprisingly, my cell phone. It's broken, if you're wondering. Won't even turn on. I can't see any damage, but then again, I'm not tech support. Nonetheless, not a bad hoard. But one thing I need wasn't on that list. Answers. And for that, I need to find civilization. And to interact with any civilization of logical beings, I would need to look a bit less threatening. And thus began the treacherous process of removing my armor, deciding what I would need, and putting it on. The whole process took 20 minutes. I removed all armor except the breastplate, which I hid under the shirt. I had the jeans and the boots on my legs, the breastplate on my chest, the shirt on top of that, the rings on my fingers, and the rod in my hand. I decided not to remove the amulet, but I pushed some of the shirt on top of it so it wouldn't show as easily, then put my trench coat on top of it all. I was ready to go.

Author's Note

Hey guys, time for a vote: do you want RD to attack our villain-to-be, and he fights back, then they use the EoH on him, or they just yell some stuff like in RoDV and then blast him?

Chapter 2

Jake's POV

The dogs and I had nearly reached the forest's edge. Just another twenty feet, give or take. Just a short walk beyond the edge, was a small town. Easily within walking distance, just a little to far for me to see any of the inheritance.
"Stay here." I instructed them, trying to sound like I possessed some sort of actual authority. They nodded solemnly. They really are loyal to their Alpha. I thought. Which is me. With that, I began a leisurely walk towards the town. Then I stepped over the edge. My blood ran cold. Something is wrong. I though, as a chill ran up my spine. This place doesn't like me. Something here wants me gone, no, it wants me dead. And yet.... there was a subtle cry for help beneath it, almost drowned out by the other presence. I shook the feeling and started toward the town again. I was at the edge of town in less than two minutes. I stopped dead when I saw the inhabitants. I single word escaped my lips. "What." Ponies. Honest to God, MLP, Technicolor, PONIES. The ones the bronies worshiped.

Now, I know a bit about the bronies. I'm perfectly okay with them and their Anti-brony counterparts. Until they start trying to force others to their viewpoint, or accusing others of being them. I have a similar relationship with homosexuals, like most relatively sensible people. But this, my response? What. The. Fuck?!

The ponies eyed me suspiciously. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, one screamed "A MONSTER!!!" at the top of what I assumed to be a her's lungs. And just like that, the other ponies were swept into a panic, running into their houses, screaming. In maybe 10 seconds, the ponies had completely fled.
"What the fuck?" I asked whoever might be listening. "No seriously, what the actually fuck?! Where am I, Equestria?!" I knew enough about the bronies to know were their show took place. Suddenly, a blue blur that left behind a rainbow streak hit me in the chest, driving me backwards. We hit a house's wall and fell back to the ground.

Looking back upon the experience, I would wonder just how the Hell my armor didn't break. Seriously, what are these things made of?!

The blur, now revealed to be a pegasus, shoved it's face towards mine and demanded, in a distinctly feminine voice:
"Get out of our town you monster!" I responded far more sensibly.
I calmly responded by shouting "FUS RO DAH!" at the top of my lungs, which summoned a wave of force that thew the pony off my chest, clear to the other side of the street. As this happened, I swear I heard the music that was in the trailer after the Dragonborn used it.

A bit later, I realized that quite a few Skyrim dragon shouts were actually real incantations. Maybe the developers knew some real magic?

I quickly rose to my feet and grabbed the pony in my telekinetic grip, lifting her a few feet of the ground, using my hands to channel it, just to make sure she knew it was me. I gave her a steely gaze that I hoped she would understand meant "Fuck off". And with that, I telekinetically threw her at the nearest building. She somehow flew into a window. I calmly turned away and continued walking, only for something to hit me in the back, latching on. One look down told me it was her again. I quickly decided to ignore her.
"DON' T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!!" she screamed in my ear. Ouch. This pony much be pretty stupid, assaulting a sorcerer like this. Twice. Plus, she can't even proper grammar. "Don't you dare ignore me" translates literally to "Don't you have the courage to ignore me" in proper grammar.

What? I had a friend who was a grammar Nazi. His name was Carl.

Needless to say, I was already nearing the end of my patience, when I heard someone yell
"Get back her you big meanie!" From behind me. I calmly turned around, to reveal....a pony. A yellow pegasus mare with a pink mane.
"Hello." I said calmly. "Does this belong to you?" I asked her, gesturing to the blue mare. The yellow one, glared at me, then sucked in her gut, stood up straight, and looked me right in the eyes, trying to look tough.
"Give me my friend back!" She demanded. I suddenly felt something. It was the most peculiar feeling. I can't really describe it to anyone who hasn't felt it before, but suffice to say it felt like someone was invading my mind.

I'm not going to lie, I bitch slapped her. Hard.

Author's Note

A sorcerer's telekinesis doesn't not produce an aura like unicorn telekinesis. Or maybe it does, but humans are less sensitive to auras as a rule(they say we all have them but only a few claim to see them), and while it being used makes it more visible, it's not visible enough for normal humans to see it. I haven't decided yet. Voting anyone? What do you guys think will happen next?

Chapter 3

Day 4, continued:
She fell to the ground, bleeding. She stayed down for a moment, but quickly got back up. She tried again.
"Get away from my friend!" She wailed. I slapped her again. She fell back down, But I wasn't done with her yet. I calmly walked over to her, and kicked her in the chest. Hard. Her ribs broke with a satisfying cracking noise. At least I think it was her ribs. I'm pretty sure, but I'm not an expert. I can't tell the difference between bones just by hearing the sound of them breaking. Doesn't seem like a useful power to have anyway. But I digress. She tried to use mind magic on me. Like most sane individuals, I agree with the Dresden Files's White Council: people who use that kind of magic are to be executed on the spot. I was being merciful just leaving her alive. Anyway, I had just kicked the yellow one....

Jake's POV
I grabbed the blue one's leg from around my back, and threw her off, straight into another building.
"Bitch." I said coolly. "Didn't your mama ever tell you not to mess with magicians?" I asked. "And not to attack strangers?" The blue mare flapped her wings, and with a single stoke, was up in the air. She dive-bombed me, screaming. "Ventarus!" I invoked. And just like that, a hurricane level wind came out of nowhere, bashing her into a building, breaking the wall. I telekinetically lifted her again. "Well?" She spit some blood at me, missing.
"Go to Tartarus, monster." she growled.
"Are you a Greek?" I asked, somewhat confused by why the technicolor, clown-haired, freaking talking pegasus on another WORLD, who had attacked ME, was telling me to go to Greek Hell.

At that very moment, there was a flash of white light, and another pony appeared.

Twilight's POV
I teleported into the town square, where I found some sort of mutant minotaur in clothing, telekinetically lifting a bleeding Rainbow Dash with it's outstretched paw,(without an aura around it or her, strangely) and a bleeding Fluttershy not far away. In an instant, I flamed out. "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY FRIENDS!" The creature calmly turned around.
"Hello!" it said cheerfully in a masculine voice. "Simple, I'm not a wuss."
Jake's POV
This pony was different than any I had seen. For one thing, she possessed both wings, AND a short, dull-looking horn coming out of her forehead. For another, she was on fire. Awesome, I want flaming hair! "If you're referring to these murderous ass hats as your so-called 'friends', then yes." She shot a crimson blast of light at me from her horn. I held out my hand, and the blast was absorbed. "Your childish tricks are useless against me." I quoted. "Ástríce!" A beam of golden magic shot from my palm. Mere seconds before it hit her, she threw herself to the left, escaping with only a singed tail.
"How did you do that?!" demanded the pony, who was suddenly purple with dark purple hair.
"Duh, magic."
"Impossible! You're not a unicorn, you don't even have a horn!"
"Why would I need one of those?" A strange look dawned upon the pony's face, just for a moment, then she shook it off.
"Nevermind! Whoever, and whatever, you are, I won't let you hurt my friends!" She shot another blast of light at me, a light purple one. Yet again, I merely held up my hand, and stopped it.
Damn. I though. This girl's got power, but no clue how to use it. She has the killer instinct of a tree, no, more like a leaf. "You know," I said, "This doesn't have to end bloody. I'm sure we can talk this out, like proper magicians." The pony shot me a glare.
"Then surrender, and we'll solve this legally."
"Oh Hell no. You lot attacked ME, unless you missed that part." Suddenly, the mare's eyes were diverted.
"You're wearing the Alicorn Amulet!"
"This little thing?" I asked, gesturing to the amulet, receiving a nod. "What's it to you?"
"Please, take it off, its dark magic will corrupt you!" I snorted.
"And give up my best defense? Fuck no." The mare flinched at my language. "I paid the price, it belongs to ME!" I shouted the last word. "And I refuse to blow and scrape no matter who you are!" I roared. In a swift motion, I pulled out my blasting rod, pointing it directly at her. "A'max!" A torrent of black flames shot from the rod like water from a fire hose. The girl threw up a shield. I kept it up. The shield cracked. And cracked. And shattered. I stopped burning.
"What are you?" she asked with a combination of awe and shock and fear.
"A sorcerer." I replied nonchalantly. "You?"
"An alicorn." She replied.
"I'm going to pretend I know, or care, what that is."
"You don't know?!" She asked with an expression filled with some unholy mixture of shock and outrage.
"Nope."
"How could you NOT?! Celestia and Luna threw down Discord, Cadence destroyed one of the greatest dark magic users in history, I created NEW MAGIC!" She SHOUTED.
"No bells rung. And new magic? Seriously? From what I heard, the others became heroes, you spent your time try to imitate infants. Not exactly impressive."

I didn't know how I knew, probably the amulet again, but I knew that each human being's inner magic pool was filled with their own unique type of magic that matures and changes based on them, their lives, their emotion, their choices. Even as a fetus our magic is unique. Sure, it could all be used in just about the same way, but that doesn't make granite and obsidian the same.

Author's Note

What do you guys think so far? As for the haters,

Chapter 4

"You know what?!" the purple pony princess asked. "I'll deal with this later. For now, give me the Alicorn Amulet!"
"Again, no." I said firmly. "I paid the price, therefore, it belongs to, say it with me, this guy." I declared, pointing at myself with my free hand.
"As a princess of Equestria, I order you to give me the Alicorn Amulet!" She replied.
"And as an American, I say, fuck you. Literally. Repeatedly. With a sword." I countered. The nearby ponies gasped.

I'm still not sure whether it was the fact that I had stood up to their leader, so easily ignored the royal's so-called "authority", used harsh language, or that I had told the female to get sword-raped, that evoked this reaction from the nearby ponies. Perhaps all of them. It isn't particularly important.

"Oh come on!' I shouted. "You can't be that sheltered!"
"U-use of c-coarse language is prohibited in High Society." Responded a white and purple one, whom I had not seen arrive, nor notice until that point, stuttering.

In hindsight, the fact that I had been distracted enough to miss her arrival completely should have set off a few warning bells. But come on, she's just so posh. She registers a -1.5 on the 1 to 10 Threat-O-Meter.

"Well, his is a -rather rural looking- village. Rather small too. Couldn't have more than a few hundred residents. Generally speaking, this is about as far from "High Society" as one can get in a first-world country, if indeed that this is. And," I reasoned, "were this not one such country, there would be no such mention of "High Society" to begin with." I smiled and nodded at my own logic.

Then, quite suddenly, It all went wrong. Er. Wronger. It was already rather bad to begin with.

Suddenly, a blue blur shot at me. A Word of Power came to my mouth unbidden:

A Divine Word, to be precise. TYPE-Moon style - power in the Words themselves, the capabilities of which are lost to modern magi. How do other incantations work? How the hell am I supposed to know?! Anyway, according to Fate Stay/Night(and as I latter discovered, my grimoire), modern humans and machines can't pronounce - nor hear them- properly enough to evoke any effect. Something about mankind moving on after the death of the gods...damn it Nasu, why you make no sense? Why can I use them? Not sure. The Amulet gives me Regression to the Age of the Gods? What Rank? This requires further experimentation.

"Μαρδοξ" At the Word's invocation, a dome of translucent -nearly transparent- red energy appeared around me. The blue one slammed into it with a crack, and fell to the ground, rendered unconscious by her own momentum. "Okay, everyone say that, right?" I shouted. "That was on her. She slammed into my shield, I did nothing to her there." The ponies stared at me mutly in momentary shock. "Also, she's bleeding a bit. Maybe more than a bit. In fact, I think she just lost a few teeth."By this point, one of the ponies had rushed to her aid. A pink one. "So yeah." I continued. "I'ma just, go now. Let you guys tend to your idiots- I MEAN WOUNDED. Yeah, wounded. Definitely wounded." I began walking away.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" shouted the purple one. "YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"
"Hmm.." I replied." Yeah, see, that's not gonna work. Because you see, I'm American. Also, we've long since established that you don't have to power to take me."
"Oh really?!" Oh shit. I know that tone of voice. It's the I'm-insulted-with-your-underestimation-of-my-skill-but-will-now-kick-your-ass-with-my-formerly-underestimated-prowess-voice.

I suddenly realized just how deep the shit I'd gotten myself into really was.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long(not really), and sorry for it being so short(I actually am sorry about that). It was mostly the fact that this got added to "Dead fics" that prompted my to update. COME ONE PEOPLE! GIVE ME SOME INSPIRATION!!