Cheese 'n Crackers

by Shotoman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Cheese Sandwich
Length: 9572

Cheese Sandwich encounters a certain sky blue unicorn on his way to Manehattan. Does hilarity ensue? Feels? All of the above? Who knows? I sure don't.

Cheese Sandwich is all about making ponies smile, just like the preposterously popular pink party pony of Ponyville taught him all those years ago. As a party planner, that usually means he makes 'em smile in droves. Droves! But when he encounters a certain down-on-her-luck unicorn illusionist, well, who needs droves when a single smile says just as much?

Published 2014-02-24 14:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-14 15:58:06 UTC

Our Time Has Come

Cheese 'n Crackers
by
Shotoman

Cheese Sandwich was in a really good mood. Granted, it was really, really rare that he wasn't in a good mood, but today he was in a really good mood. So good was his mood, in fact, that he actually opted to drop the 'serious desperado' act he usually adopted while traveling and was just clopping along in his usual bright yellow shirt, Boneless II sitting on his back. He finally did it. He finally made his way to Ponyville and showed the persistently perky pink party pony Pinkie Pie just what her painstakingly peppy parties meant for him back when he was a perpetually pouty party pooper.

Cheese stopped short, scratching a forehoof through his hopelessly curly brown mane. Since when do I think in alliteration? he thought to himself. Huh. Shrugging, he just continued on his Eastward journey. His Cheesy Sense was prodding him toward Manehattan, and he was never one to ignore his Cheesy Sense. Speaking of... it was going off right now, actually. Not a doozy by any means, just a small twitch of his tail. That meant that there was somepony nearby who needed a bit of cheering up--but didn't really need a full fledged party to do so.

Cheese Sandwich stopped for a moment and let his gaze turn from the well maintained road he had been following, to the dirt path that led into the lightly wooded sort-of-wildlands not far away, where the Cheesy Sense was pointing him. "What do you think, Boneless?" he asked the rubber chicken perched on his back. After a moment of silence, he nodded. "Yeah. Me, too. I guess it's time to brave the unknown, isn't it? Or just time to take a little detour through some trees. Whatever." Humming a polka-ish tune to himself, he trotted into the thicket of trees.

~FiM~

The Great and Powerful Trixie--aw, who was she kidding?--Trixie Lulamoon was in a horrible mood. Which, sad to say, seemed to be her general mood these days. She had come to peace with Twilight Sparkle (Princess Twilight Sparkle, she had to remind herself) some time ago and, to her own great relief, either Princess Sparkle or Princess Celestia had pulled some strings to ensure that Equestria as a whole didn't learn about the mess she made with that accursed amulet. And, given that it had been well over a year since the Ursa Minor incident and the things she had learned about herself during that time, she felt it time to try to return to show business.

It hadn't gone well.

Fame and infamy both were fickle things. The memories of the common pony weren't exactly long when it came to celebrities. She was able to perform without being immediately run out of town, or having her trailer vandalized. The thing was, she had built her whole act around being so much Greater and More Powerful than the ponies around her and, without the facade, even with her considerable skill as an illusionist, she just couldn't find that 'one thing' that drew in the crowds. Even more frustrating, she had no idea what that thing was she was missing. And so here she was, hiding out in the woods, working up the courage to start the last leg of her journey.

"I must be out of my mind," she muttered to herself. She was returning, of all places, to Ponyville. Not to perform, of course. Even Trixie had no illusions on how successful that would be. But to talk. To get advice. From Twilight Sparkle. The sad fact was, after they had reconciled last time, Sparkle was probably the closest thing Trixie had to a friend. And that's just about the most depressing thought ever, she admitted silently.

"Hiya!" a voice suddenly spoke up from behind, causing the sky blue showpony to practically leap off the log she was seated on and spin to face the sudden intruder. After getting a good look at him, she cocked her head in confusion, even as her heart remained thumping and he horn remained glowing. The intruder was a lanky pony, too light brown to be considered chestnut, with a considerably darker brown mane and tail that were so impossibly curly that they reminded her of the pink one. He was wearing a bright yellow shirt and on his back was... a rubber chicken?

Great, Trixie thought in disgust even as the light finally faded from her horn. Another one.

The new annoyance didn't seem to notice the glare Trixie was sending his way, and he took in the sight of her modest little campsite with a wide toothy smile and and overabundance of energy. "Sorry about that," he said, something between a chuckle and giggle in his voice even as he spoke. "Didn't mean to startle you like that. Just popped in for a hello."

"Who are you, then?" Trixie asked, pleased she was able to keep the surprise out of her purposefully haughty voice.

"Oh, where are my manners?" the newcomer replied, shaking Trixie's hoof vigorously. "Name's Cheese Sandwich, Super Duper Party Planner extraordinaire! Or something. Really, I think I'm cool with just 'party planner,' but my manager says I gotta spice up my title a bit. Isn't that right, Boneless?" Here he gestured to the rubber chicken that was, through some miracle, still perched on his back.

Is he being serious? Trixie thought to herself.

"Soooooo,' Cheese Sandwich continued, his face rather uncomfortably close to Trixie's as he did, "what's your name?"

"You may call me..." she began in her usual haughty tone, before deflating a bit with a sigh. "Trixie. Trixie Lulamoon."

"Trixie?" he asked, plopping his rump down on the ground as a thoughtful look crossed his features (and, incidentally, how in the Princesses' names was that chicken still on his back!?). "Trixie, Trixie..." he muttered, tapping his hoof against his forehead with a speed that would make a woodpecker jealous. Then, he saw her trailer. "Ah!" he exclaimed, his expression brightening suddenly (Did Trixie hear a 'ding' when he did so? She was pretty sure she heard a 'ding.' And did that 'ding' actually come from Cheese Sandwich's head?), "Trixie! As in 'the Great and Powerful,' right?"

"So you've heard of me, then?" she asked wryly.

"Oh, sure!" He was on his hooves again, bounding around. Where did such ponies get such energy? "It's part of the party business to know of fellow entertainers, purveyors of glee, and spreaders of laughs. I should've recognized you right off the bat. It's just you look waaay different without the hat and cape. I saw your show once, you know. You are really good."

"You did? I am?" Now Trixie was curious.

"Oh, yeah. I almost invited you perform at a party of mine, except..." here he stopped, and shoved a hoof in his mouth.

"You might as well say what's on your mind," Trixie grumbled. "I have heard it all."

Cheese Sandwich remained reluctant, a certain mindfulness to her feelings that Trixie recognized and felt a small bit of gratitude for. "Well," he finally said. "Frankly, it was your idea of 'audience participation.' Kinda at odds with what I try to do with my parties."

Trixie's ears drooped as her expression fell. "Yes, I've... learned a few things about that."

"Yeah, I'd guess so..." Cheese Sandwich said thoughtfully, studying the sky blue mare before him. Sure, he knew of the Great and Powerful Trixie. He told the truth when he said he saw her act and everything else. What he didn't say was that he was also aware of her fall from grace (one which, harsh as it was to say, he had kinda predicted.). Last he had heard, her act had sort of... fallen apart, after her outing in Ponyville a couple of years ago, and she had dropped off the map. And, though he was unaware of her recent attempt at a return to the business, he recognized the signs.

He could also tell it wasn't going well, in no small part due to his still twitchy tail.

Suddenly that wide smile appeared on his face again (One of Trixie's firefly lanterns lit at the exact moment it did, too, for just a moment. A coincidence, surely.). "Wait here a sec," he said before vanishing in a streak of yellow and brown. Trixie was left in a befuddled silence for a moment before she shrugged and began to return to he trailer for some dinner. Then he was back again, as sudden as if he'd never been gone, and he was standing rather too close to Trixie for her own comfort. "Finished! C'mon!" Here he took her hoof, and the next thing Trixie knew, she was seated on a simple wooden seat in front of a simple wooden stage just outside the thicket of trees she was camping in. And she was dizzy. Really dizzy. How did she get here so fast? And, for that matter, where did the stage come from? She was pretty sure it wasn't there when she set up camp a couple hours ago.

Before she could untangle her thoughts a spotlight turned on (wait, what?), illuminating the center of the stage. And out from behind the red curtains stepped Cheese Sandwich, standing on his hind legs, an accordion strapped to his forelegs, and that constant wide smile plastered on his dumb face.

"What are you doing up there?" Trixie asked the increasingly ludicrous pony on the stage.

"What's it look like?" he said. "I'm cheering you up!"

"What makes you think I need cheering up?" she asked indignantly.

"You mean you don't?" a voice asked right in Trixie's ear, causing her to jump. Cheese Sandwich was sitting in the stands next to her.

"What?" she asked, looking back up at the now empty stage. "How did you...? Great," she muttered, her hoof meeting her forehead. "He is another pink one."

"Tell you what," Cheese Sandwich said, a surprisingly serious tone in his voice. "Give me five minutes. If I can't get a smile or a laugh out of you in five minutes, I'll go away and leave you to your moping."

"I am not...!"

"Deal?" he asked, extending a forehoof.

Trixie sighed. "Fine," she relented, tapping her forehoof to his. "You have five minutes."

Suddenly Cheese Sandwich was back on the stage, and after a moment to make sure his instrument was ready, he began playing out a polka tune and began to sing:

"Polka Wrap-up Polka Wrap-up

Listen to my accordion cheer

Polka Wrap-up Polka Wrap-up

Hey today ol' Cheese is here

Hey today ol' Cheese is here"

He moved into a musical bridge while studying his audience. Her face was stony, one eyebrow raised, as if asking 'is that all you got?' A wry grin formed on his face. I have not yet begun to goof! he thought as he took in a deep breath and moved on to his next verse:

"At the Gala It's so boring

I think I'll fall asleep

There's really nothing fun here

at the Galaaaaaaaaaa!"

Trixie, who had attended the Grand Galloping Gala in the past, felt the corners of her mouth start to turn upwards, and she had to bite her lip to keep it from happening. Cheese Sandwich, however, saw her moment of weakness and moved in for the kill.

"I've been snoozing I've been snoring

There aren't any fun ponies

What kind of party is this?

Right here at the Galaaaaaaa!"

Trixie couldn't help it. One loud, bark-like laugh escaped her lips before she could stop it. She instantly covered her mouth with her hooves, but could see in Cheese's eyes that he knew he was victorious. Getting herself more comfortable for the rest of the show, she shot him a wry look that very clearly said okay you win, even as she decided that he was actually a pretty good showpony after all.

~Fim~

His show went on for quite some time, going past sundown, but Trixie didn't mind. After getting over her initial bout of stubborn pride, she found the laughs came easier by the minute. Cheese Sandwich lambasted and parodied nearly every song in Equestrian popular culture and, loathe though she would be to admit it to his face, he had a perfect sense of comedic timing. She was enjoying herself to such a degree that when he invited her on the stage to join him in flopping around like a fish out of water in what he called the "Rubber Chicken Dance" she did so without complaint.

Then, suddenly, Cheese Sandwich was gone, and the curtains closed, leaving her on a dark and empty stage. "What...?" she asked in confusion before she heard Cheese Sandwich's unmistakable voice from outside.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, I present you with the Great and Powerful Trixie!" And the curtains rose, putting Trxie up on the stage. In the spotlight. Alone. She looked out and saw that there were no 'fillies and gentlecolts,' save Cheese Sandwich himself, who was looking up at her expectantly while munching on a bag of popcorn.

What is this? Trixie thought to herself. What are you trying to do, here? Is this a contest all of a sudden? Are we to see who is the greater entertainer? Based off of her prior conversation with the exasperating party pony, Trixie didn't think so. He didn't seem the type. But if not then what was he...? Trixie suddenly realized what was going on. Cheese Sandwich wasn't showing off his abilities. He was sharing them. And, she realized as she looked down at him and saw an almost foal like expectancy in his eyes, he was giving her an opportunity to share hers. A smile crossed her face. A small, sincere smile. You want a show? she thought as she magically summoned up her hat and cape. I'll give you a show.

"Witness the marvelous feats of magic and illusion as could only be performed by the Great and Powerful Trixie!" she bellowed, feeling like herself for the first time in a long time, as she fired off a bolt of magic up into the star cast sky. The bolt exploded in the form of a fireworks show that lasted several minutes. After the light show dissipated, a chunk of stars seemed to start moving of their on accord, Soon they took the form of an Ursa Minor, bounding across the sky in great powerful leaps, before coming back to rest in its initial starting point. Then, what looked to be a streak of black ink launched from the moon to land violently on the stage, taking form of a sinister black alicorn, one who had the appearance of a walking children's book illustration. It was joined by a stained glass representation of a snake like creature--a draconequus--as well as a changeling queen, and a sinister black cloud with green and red eyes. Darkness emanated from the illusory creatures, threatening to engulf the stage and the entire area around it, Then a light appeared in the midst of the darkness. A small but comforting lavender colored light. Which grew, and grew until it engulfed and banished all the creatures from the stage, taking the darkness with them. When the light died down, there remained one last image. The sky blue silhouette of a unicorn, lying on the ground. Another silhouette, this one the same comforting purple as the light, stood over the blue one. And she offered her a hoof, to let her stand.

Then the image faded and the spotlight turned back on, revealing the Great and Powerful Trixie, breathing hard, sweat rolling down her face, and tears threatening to pool in her eyes. Why had she chosen those images? The feelings they represented were something she kept buried at all times. For that matter, how had she done that? Never before had she done illusions that elaborate. It was quite literally the best performance she had ever given. That's when she noticed the noise down in the stands. Cheese Sandwich was cheering with such ferocity that he might have been an entire audience by himself. Trixie found herself blushing a bit, even as she took the hat from her head and gave a bow.

"That was awesome!" Cheese Sandwich said, suddenly up on the stage right next to her again. "That was probably the best magic show I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot!"

"You... you knew that would happen, didn't you?" Trixie asked around gasps.

"What? Naaaw. You completely flabbergasted me! I had no clue you were that... well, that great and powerful." Cheese than made a show of looking over his shoulders to see if anypony were listening, then gestured Trixie closer with a forehoof. "But, just a little tip from one showpony to another. We tend to put on our best performances when we're trying to make other ponies happy." Then he stepped away from her with that smile on his face as he began trotting off the stage. "Woah, it's late, isn't it?" he said as if noticing the night sky for the first time. "Mind if I bunk down in your tree grove for the night? I don't think either of us are going anywhere."

Trixie shrugged. "I suppose that would be acceptable. You will have to find your own shelter though."

"No problem. I have a tent, see?" Cheese sandwich pointed to a simple yellow tent that had been set up a respectable distance from her wagon.

"When did you have time to set that up?" Trixie asked. Then glanced behind herself to see that the stage was gone. "And what happened to the stage?"

"What stage?" Cheese asked with a mischievous sparkle in his eye.

"Are you messing with Trixie?" she asked.

"Naw! Why would I ever do that?" was Cheese's response before he suddenly went serious again. "You know, I have a gig in Manehattan in a few days, and I could use a good headliner. You wanna come with?"

Trixie looked away as she said, "I do not think you really want to do that. I would not want to sully your reputation."

"Reputation?" Cheese said in seeming confusion, before turning back to the chicken that was again on his back. "Hey, Boneless, do I have a reputation? Huh. Never knew that." He turned back to Trixie with a smile. "What did I just say back there? I throw parties to make ponies happy. That includes you. I don't care 'bout no bad reputation. Besides, I think you'll be great."

Trixie stared at the stallion before her, a dumbfounded expression on her face, before her expression changed to a cocky smile. "Then the Great and Powerful Trixie will gladly accept your offer." Her expression turned unsure again for a moment, before she planted a quick kiss on Cheese Sandwich's cheek. "And thank you," she added softly before charging into her trailer almost faster than Cheese Sandwich himself could move.

Cheese stood stock still for a moment, before bringing a hoof up to his cheek. Then he cast a glare at the rubber chicken on his back. "What're you lookin' at?" he asked, before tromping off to his tent in a huff.

It looked like he was in for a very interesting week.

We're Gonna Walk in the Sun

I'm gonna kill him, she thought, her glare trying to burn a hole in the continually babbling pony next to her. Or myself. Whichever will bring the quiet first.

"So I'm like, 'what's wrong with oatmeal?'" Cheese Sandwich finished his story with a wide oblivious smile, before noting his traveling companion's glare. "Too much?" he asked, his grin never wavering.

Trixie simply nodded. Cheese closed his mouth and mimed zipping it shut (Trixie was actually mildly surprised his mouth didn't literally zip shut, since he did make the sound of a zipper). Trixie sighed in relief at the silence, brief though it likely was going to be. Accepting the idiot's offer the day before yesterday seemed simple enough. What did she have to lose? Now, a day and a half later, dragging her trailer along the road to Manehattan, she learned the answer. Just her sanity, was all. She cast one last look at him, who was obviously fit to burst with desire to talk some more, before speeding up a bit to get him out of her sight. Why'd she agree to this again?

"Uh, Trixie?" Cheese said, after catching back up to her.

"What is it this time?"

"My turn!"

There was a sudden blur of motion, and after the moment it took her eyes to refocus, Trixie could see she'd been booted out of the harness to her trailer and Cheese had himself perfectly strapped in. "I don't need help, you know," she grumbled, even as she realized she was already becoming acclimated to such moments. "The Great and Powerful Trixie can pull the cart herself."

"Never said you couldn't," he singsonged as he continued down the road, just as happy now as he was before.

Trixie couldn't help but smirk and shake her head. Oh, right. That.

"You're fine watching Boneless for a bit, right?" Cheese said out of the blue.

"Hmm?" Trixie turned and saw that chicken on her back. She yelped and jumped several hooves in the air (and the infernal thing stayed on her back. Truly the madness was spreading.) "Uhhh... of course," she managed to get out. "Trixie would be... ah... happy to."

Cheese's response was a toothy grin that squeaked.

~FiM~

Manehattan. Loud. Bustling. Crowded. Trixie had always loved it. It was certainly livelier than her hometown of Canterlot, in a way that was more... honest, she supposed. A true melting pot of ponies, ideas, cultures. It wasn't unheard of to meet an occasional griffon, minotaur, or horse. The saying was that if you could make it in Manehattan, you could make it anywhere, but the adventure of it all...

"Well, you're happy," Cheese Sandwich said, obviously amused.

Trixie sighed as she took in the cool coastal air. "I suppose I am. The Great and Powerful Trixie's first successful gig was in Manehattan."

"Sounds like a story."

"Not really. I was one of many attractions at a Summer Sun Celebration event in Central Park, and it was a 'success' in that I gained a decent sized group of spectators and left with enough money to get me to my next gig with some to spare. Still a good memory."

"Oh, I know what'cha mean. My first big party was here, too, and I come back here probably more often than anywhere else. Lotsa ponies equals lotsa parties. Stayed here for six months straight once, going from one party to the next, though I don't remember much of it." Cheese actually shivered, here. "Learned an important lesson on pacing yourself, there."

Trixie couldn't stop the laugh that erupted from her lips. "You? Pace yourself? Trixie has yet to see any signs of that."

Cheese shrugged. "Well, my pace is a bit quicker than most, I admit. The sugar helps. And the coffee."

"And the inanity."

"Exactly!" Cheese agreed with a grin. "Uh, what's inanity?"

Trixie just rolled her eyes. "So, whom is this party for, that we came all this way?"

"No idea."

Trixie stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"Oh, I never know who I'm putting the party on for 'till I find 'em. My Cheesy Sense just leads me to 'em. This one feels like a birthday. A kind of important one, like a Cutsinera."

Trixie's hoof met her face, her warm feelings suddenly gone. "You mean you came all the way here, from Ponyville, without so much as an invitation?"

"Uh, huh!"

"I thought you said you have a gig."

"I do. I just don't know who it's for or where exactly it is yet. That's how it always works."

"That's never how it works!" she practically exploded. "You can't just... just show up and hope for the best! You have to plan, make arrangements! You have to at least know your client! Even I had to do things such as get mayoral approval to set up my cart and put on my shows! You can't just... just.... AaauAugh!" And with that, she stomped off into the crowd.

"Trixie!" Cheese called. "Trixie, wait!" He was still strapped into the cart, and it suddenly seemed quite a bit heavier than it was just a moment ago, so it wasn't a surprise to him that Trixie vanished in the Manehattan crowds. "What did I do?"

~FiM~

Trixie was fuming. She could take the constant talking. She could take the inherent silliness. But one thing she did not abide was unprofessionalism. It wasn't just a matter of personal livelihood, though that was a part of it. It was... well the idea that his special talent of all things was something he didn't take seriously. How could he be so... so...?

"Trixie? Trixie Lulamoon?"

The sudden voice made Trixie cringe. It was a familiar voice, one she hadn't heard in some years. Was her luck really that awful? Not that I need an answer to that question, she mentally grumbled. Aloud she said "Hello, Star Dancer."

Star Dancer didn't seem to notice Trixie's rather cold greeting as she started circling her, as if needing to take in the sight at all angles to believe it. She was a beautiful young unicorn, tall and leggy, with a smooth silver coat and stylishly coiffed sunlight blonde mane. Hers was a face seen in many a magazine, and she rather liked it that way.

"It really is you. Wow, haven't seen you since... well since graduation, now that I think about it. Is that a rubber chicken?"

With that Trixie realized that Boneless was still on her back--somehow. With a blush and a flash of magic, Trixie made the cursed thing vanish. "Er, yes, well. It has truly been quite some time since we saw each other last, hasn't it? What are you doing in Manehattan, Star? Last I heard you were living in Burbuck."

"Yes, yes. Burbuck is where my official residence lies, but ever since the movie shoot finished, I haven't had time to stay still. I'm here for a promotional event." Trixie just now noticed that she was in front of a very high-end hotel, complete with a fountain out front. She could just see Star's lips twitch as she suppressed a smirk--or was she being paranoid again?

"But enough about me, what about you? Last I heard your little, heh, 'magic show' had fallen on hard times." Okay, then. Trixie was most certainly not being paranoid.

Still, a scene was the last thing she wanted to cause right now, especially coming of the tail end of the one she just did. "Yes, the Great and Powerful Trixie act has hit, shall we say, a snag. One that was nearly entirely my own fault, much as I hate to admit it. Still, there is a chance at a comeback here in town, which is what brought me here."

"Oh?" Dancer said, her ears cocked forward in curiosity. "What sort of comeback. A birthday party?"

"Yes, actually," Trixie admitted bluntly, amused at how the straightforward admission threw Dancer off her game. "I'm starting from square one after all." She gave Star Dancer a meaningful grin. "All performers have to start small, as I'm sure you remember. Sometimes even taking roles and gigs we'd rather not discuss afterwards."

Star Dancer coughed into a forehoof and blushed. "Yes, that is true..." Then her eyes narrowed. "But, still. I have trouble believing you're here alone. The solo traveling act may work for rural places like Ponyville," (You'd think, Trixie barely managed to keep herself from saying) "But it just doesn't fly here in Manehatten. Especially when there's no major events going on. You'd have to come here as part of a larger act. Maybe even..." Trixie managed to hold back a shudder at the look in Dancer's eye. "You did say birthday party, didn't you? And I certainly can't imagine you carting around a rubber chicken of all things willingly." She chuckled here. "Wow, you are a vicious one aren't you?"

Now Trixie was just confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't take that tone with me. We both know you're using that poor idiot Cheese Sandwich to get back on your hooves, only to dump in on the wayside when you do. You're hardly the first, you know."

That got Trixie's attention. "What?"

"Oh, didn't you know? He's rather well-known in the community. Even I'll admit he's something of a comic genius. It's a waste of his talents, the party planning thing he does. He's also one of the biggest dupes in the industry. I can't tell you how many 'struggling actresses' or performers he's taken under his hoof, but they never stay long. He does have a natural eye for talent, I'll give him that. His charges inevitably get discovered before too long and off they go, to fulfill their dreams with barely a farewell and nary a second thought. And the idiot keeps on doing it. I mean, he picked you up, didn't he?"

Star Dancer turned and began walking back to the entrance of her hotel. "Seriously, good for you. Perhaps I'll see you hit the big time after all. Unfortunately, I've used up the last of my free time today and have to get ready for a banquet."

Trixie's eyes narrowed at the retreating pony before her. She was good and angry again, but this was different than the poorly thought out explosion of emotion before. It wasn't even what Dancer had implied about her. A few months ago, heck, a few weeks ago, and she'd have been right. She was angry for another reason entirely. And so, she decided, perhaps a small scene was necessary, and she lit her horn up. She carefully pulled a rough sphere of water, about the size of her head, out of the hotel's fountain and hovered it above Dancer's head--harder to do than non magic practitioners would suspect due to it being, you know, water, but not overly taxing either--and she called out, "Oh, Star Dancer?"

Star Dancer turned to see Trixie sitting there with an odd, serene smile on her face. "Just to let you know, I honestly don't care what you think of me. I'm pretty sure I've earned it, in fact." Then she dropped the magical water balloon on Dancer's head, pretty well soaking her, and certainly putting to waste the hours her hairdressers and makeup ponies had spent on her that day. At her rage fueled screaming and incoherent noises, Trixie kept her serene smile. "But. I would rather you not say such disparaging things about my new... friend. Idiot he may be, but I've found that I'm growing rather fond of him."

And with that, Trixie spun around, and with her head held high in the traditional Canterlot show of disdain, marched off, smirking at the sound of Dancer's still wordless tirade.

~FiM~

Cheese Sandwich was beginning to feel just a teeny tiny little smidgen of worry. He didn't like it. He wasn't one who worried often. Where'd she go, anyway? Manehattan was a big city, one of the biggest. There were any number of places she could have gone, even in the short time he'd lost sight of her. And his Cheesy Sense wasn't helping any. Darned thing was always so... fickle. He'd made his way to Central Park, on the off chance she'd come here--it was the only place he knew she had a connection to--but even the park was rather on the huge side. He let out a rare sigh of frustration. It'd be like finding a needle in a haystack, but he could do that. This, however...

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you."

Oh, was that haughty sounding voice the best thing he'd heard all day! His natural smile returned to his face as he turned to face the owner of it. Or he tried to, in any event. He was still yoked to the trailer. Fortunately, Trixe strode into his line of sight quickly enough, herself wearing a smile that looked to be a combination of cockiness and relief. His own smile faded just a bit. "Y'know, whatever it was I did earlier, to make you mad? I'm sorry."

A blush appeared on Trixie's face as she awkwardly stamped at the ground. "No. No. You have no need to apologize. It was I..." She coughed. "It was I who was in the wrong, here. I thought you weren't taking things seriously--your talent, of all things--and I let my emotions get the better of me. I'd forgotten that, though you have your own way of doing things, this party planning thing you do, striving to make ponies smile, you take that very seriously. Why else would you even have bothered with me the other night?"

Cheese shrugged easily at the apology. "Yeah, well, you're not entirely wrong, either. As good as I am at the actual planning of a party, the other stuff, the business side of it, I'm kinda bad at. I sometimes forget there even is a business side to it. It's bit me in the flank a time or two, I can tell ya that."

Trixie's expression turned thoughtful. "Then perhaps, I may be able to pay you back for your kindness after all. The Great and Powerful Trixie has had to learn the 'business side' to our work long ago. Perhaps I can help you with that end of things for a while. Secure locations, run the budgets, that sort of thing, at least until you get the hang of it yourself."

"You mean like... like a partner?"

"Provisional, of course," Trixie added quickly, her blush intensifying.

"Wow, that's, I don't know what to say, really." For once, Cheese Sandwich really was at a loss for words. "I mean, that's a long way from a gig or two in Manehattan."

"Yes, well, I've traveled alone for quite a long time. I'm finding that I'm enjoying having some company along." Suddenly she wasn't meeting eye contact. "If you'll accept having me along, that is."

Cheese's smile returned, even wider than before. "Of course I will, as long as you want. Truth be told, I could use some company myself."

"Excellent!" Trixie practically barked, her forceful personality back at full force. "In that case, there's one last thing."

Cheese's ear flicked in curiosity. "Oh? What's that?"

There was a sudden flash of light and smell of ozone, and Cheese suddenly found himself switched with Trixie, and she was strapped back into her harness. "I think it's past my turn to pull the trailer. You can have this back." And with another flash of light, Boneless was dropped on Cheese's back. "Now, where is this birthday you sense, hmm? We've wasted enough time I think."

Cheese laughed heartily as he began to lead his new partner in the direction his Cheesy Sense was pulling him. He knew ponies well enough to know that Trixie had more she wished to speak to him about. What those things were he didn't know, but he wasn't worried. After all, there'd be plenty of time to talk later.

What a strange thing to feel really happy about.

Boneless Supposes His Toses Are Roses

It was late in the afternoon when the pair of entertainers reached the destination set by Cheese's Cheesy Sense. Trixie couldn't help but smirk at the sight. "So, you're going to look for our client at a..." It was really hard not to laugh out loud, "... party supply shop." It was a small building, one story tall, but the garish sign that read "Bob's Party Emporium" made it the most notable on the block by a large margin.

"Yep!" Cheese confirmed with a big, toothy grin.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Truly you are a master of deduction."

"Thanks," he said, that insipid grin never wavering. Trixie shot him a confused glance. She still couldn't get a read on whether he truly didn't get the sarcasm, understood it but just didn't care, or if his seeming ignorance of it was just his own form of it. It was one of the many things about him that was simultaneously endearing and a little bit absolutely infuriating.

Her confusion furthered as Cheese Sandwich suddenly put a very serious expression on his face, and began popping his neck, limbering up his legs, and finishing off with a stretch that popped his back. "Take this," he said in his desperado voice, as he hoofed Boneless to her. "I'm going in."

And suddenly he was gone, and a bemused Trixie was left holding a rubber chicken. Then her brain caught up.

"Now wait just a minute!"

~FiM~

"Well, waddya know? It's my favorite customer!" the not-quite middle aged, rather dumpy earth pony at the counter said as Cheese entered the shop. "You just commin' in to restock, or is this one'a your sense things?"

Cheese couldn't help but grin. It was pretty much his default face, after all. "Oh, a sense thing. Definitely, totally a sense thing. And it's all gonna start here."

Bob smirked. "You're a real master of deduction, ain't ya?"

"Y'know you're the second pony to tell me that in the last..." Cheese Sandwich was interrupted by the jingling of the bells as the door opened.

"This your sense thing?" Bob asked, when he saw a small amount of color drain from his favorite customer's face.

"Ah, no," Cheese answered, his eyes never leaving the unreadable gaze in front of him. "This is the Great and Powerful Trixie. My new, ah, partner."

Trixie smiled at that. It was scary. She was smiling and it was scary. Cheese Sandwich didn't even know a pony's smile could be scary. Why was her smile scary? "That's right," she said through that scary smile. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is your partner. Meaning I don't just get left by the cart when you are finding a client." She lightly bonked Cheese over the head with her hoof and her smile got significantly less scary. "How else am I supposed to help the new idiot in my life?"

Cheese Sandwich felt a small amount of heat in his cheeks, but he grinned over at Bob. "Still getting used to having a partner I guess. I do gotta few things I need to pick up. The client should be a few minutes. You two should get to know each other. You're my partner and my supplier, after all."

With that, Cheese Sandwich disappeared among the party poppers, balloons, and streamers, leaving Trixie alone with Bob, who was suddenly eyeing her in a way that made her somewhat wary. "So," Bob began, "You're his new 'partner,' Eh?"

"Yes, I am," Trixie said. Confidence was needed, here, and she had plenty of that. Or could fake it well enough.

At this Bob just gave a little snort. "I know something about your act, you know. Kinda surprised Cheese Sandwich let you on, to be honest."

At this, Trixie couldn't help but sigh and roll her eyes. "I am aware of my reputation, and I am aware that I've earned that reputation. It is a very long story I am not willing to share, but the Great and Powerful Trixie act has been... overhauled. Cheese Sandwich has merely offered help, to get me back on my hooves."

Bob narrowed his eyes. "And what're ya plannin' to do after you get back on your hooves?"

And there it was. Trixie brought a hoof up to her face, massaging the bridge of her snout. "So Star Dancer was telling the truth, then. He has been taken advantage of in the past."

When she brought her hoof down, she saw that Bob was still looking at her intently, but the intensity had lowered. "Uh-huh," he said. "Already spoke to the big shot movie star, eh? How'd'ya think she managed to make it so big in the first place?" Trixie nodded at that. It actually made a lot of sense. "It's happened more than a time or two. He'll find some talented-yet-down-on-their-luck talent. Great stuff for parties, you know, a dancer. Singer. Magician." Trixie stubbornly kept eye contact at that. She was not going to back down in front of a store clerk. "His parties're almost literally the best in Equestria. 'F he's chosen you to be part of that, you gotta be pretty good yerself. Doesn't take long usually for talent he's scouted to get scouted by others. Then they leave."

Bob cast a glance around, makings sure the Party Pony in question was nowhere in earshot. "Now, not all of 'em were 'taking advantage.' Show business is show business, and all that. Those'uns will still publicly give him credit, write him often, invite him to shows 'n premiers, that sorta thing. Then there's the ones like Star Dancer. And there have been several. Cheese pretends not to notice what's happened. But he's not an idiot. He knows. And it hurts. When Dancer left, he went on a kinda scary month-long party fest."

Trixie's ears flicked forward as her eyes widened. "I think he mentioned something like that coming into town. He said something along the lines of not remembering most of it."

Bob shrugged. "Kinda the point, right? Now, I see Cheese Sandwich as a friend of mine. I won't abide any mares that would do that to him again, and he's taking a big ol' risk with you. So, again, what're your plans?"

The only thing Trixie could do here was be honest, she supposed. "I cannot promise our acts will always be linked. As you said, show business is show business. But I am serious about being his partner. He needs one, I think. He is an idiot in certain matters. I admit I need him more than he needs me. But I can help him nonetheless. After that... I honestly don't know. I only met him two days ago."

That seemed to mollify Bob. "Fair enough," he said with a shrug. "You might as well browse. Who knows when the 'Sense Thing' will get here."

Trixie nodded and was about to do so, when she noticed a magazine framed on the wall behind Bob's counter. "Is that the Canterlot Time's issue about Pony Joe's second shop opening?"

A grin split Bob's face. "Sure is. He's my little brother."

~FiM~

It was maybe twenty minutes before another customer entered the store. From what Trixie could see, he was probably a few years away from middle age, but not by a lot. A fairly normal looking earth pony, in a light tone of green, with a darker green mane and tail, with just a touch of grey working into it. The new customer walked up to Bob's counter, and though Trixie couldn't hear what was said exactly, she did catch the word Cutesinera.

And suddenly, as if from nowhere, Cheese Sandwich was right next to him. "Heya! Got yourself a big shindig planned?"

The other stallion clearly didn't quite know what to make of the sudden appearance of this weirdo. "I suppose you can say that. You?" That last inquiry being made more out of politeness than anything.

"Nah, not yet. But never hurts to be prepared. 'Specially with my line of work." At this, Cheese produced a business card as if from nowhere. Odd, Trixie thought. That was simple slight of hoof. I actually saw how he did that one. Cheese, meanwhile, handed the pony the card. "Name's Cheese Sandwich. Party planner. If you need any advice or anything, I'll be over by the paper hats."

And that was that. The pony looked at the card, then looked to Bob, who shrugged with a grin. "I've seen his work. 'F you want your kid's party to be special, he'll do it." The pony seemed conflicted for just a moment more, before he sought Cheese out.

Two minutes later, the pony was gone, and Cheese had a paper with name, address, and agreed upon price. "That was a rather pedestrian business deal," Trixie said, one eyebrow raised, minor confusion in her voice.

Cheese grinned. "What? You were expecting me to be all like..." here he suddenly disappeared down a trapdoor, only to drop from the ceiling, supported by a harness and ropes, swinging noisemakers in each forehoof, a kazoo in his mouth and a big "Party Time!" banner behind him. A brief second later and he zipped back up into the ceiling and back out of the trap door, which vanished as soon as it was closed.

Trixie didn't even blink at the sudden show of impossibility in front of her. "Yes, exactly!" she replied.

Cheese let out a hearty laugh. "Oh, come on, Trixie. And I thought you were the business one! It's all about knowing the customer. Sure, plenty of ponies go in for the Song 'n Dance routine. You'll see me do that plenty. But this was a dad planning a party for his little filly. Gotta be a bit more careful with those."

Trixie found herself actually rather surprised. "Maybe you're not such a lost cause after all..."

This elicited a squee-making smile from Cheese. "I probably still am. C'mon we got a party to plan."

As the two ponies exited the shop Cheese stopped to stare at what was in front of him. Boneless was actually strapped into the harness of Trixie's wagon, and a hasty sign had been put up which read Beware of Chicken. Cheese slowly turned to stare at his new partner. "What?" she said defensively. At that Cheese fell right over and laughed, loud, long, and in Trixie's opinion, rather embarrassingly.

"Oh, please," she said with a small snort. "It cant possibly be that funny."

"N-not objectively, no," Cheese managed to wheeze out. "But because it was you..." Cheese burst out into another bout of laughter.

Trixie rolled her eyes as she evaporated the sign with her magic. "I've only known you two days and already your idiocy is starting to rub off on me." Here she disengaged Boneless from the wagon and threw him right at Cheese's face, where it impacted with a mighty squee. "You, sir, are a bad influence."

Cheese lifted Boneless off his face so he could look at his partner as he said, "I can live with that."

It Isn't Dance It's Choreography

Something... just wasn't right.

Oh, the house was great -- located in a gated community in one of the nice suburbs of the city, two stories, lots of room in the main living area, permission to move the furniture as needed as long as it was returned to its proper place when all was said and done, and a back yard that would normally be perfect for some of the more involved stuff (like magic shows). But still... there was an itch halfway down Cheese Sandwich's hind leg that told him this wasn't quite what was needed for this particular party.

"Is something the matter?" Trixie asked.

Cheese blinked in surprise. Had he checked out, there? Given the looks that both Trixie and City Slicker, the client, were shooting him, he must have. "Sorry sorry. I dunno. I've made five star Cutesinera parties with much less, but..."

"Shall I guess?" Trixie asked with a smirk. "Your 'sense' is going off."

Cheese Sandwich blinked in surprise. Was she actually taking his Cheesy Sense seriously? "Well, uh, yeah."

"Well, then, I suppose we'll have to do something about that won't we? What seems to be the issue?"

Cheese's smile widened a little even as City Slicker cast the other two a confused look. "What are you two talking about?" the confused pony asked.

Trixie shrugged with a small smirk on her face. "There is something -- and please do not take offense -- but something is lacking with your currently planned setup." She turned to Cheese. "Isn't there?"

"Yeah. Definitely," he responded. "I mean, like I said, the place is actually really good. Between the yard and living room, there's lots of options, but for optimal fun..." Here he stopped, trying to take in all the sensations his Cheesy Sense was shooting him. "I think we need something more... open. Uninterrupted. Something where, just as an example, my partner here can do her thing and everypony'd have a chance at seeing it, no matter where they were."

Ignoring the slight heat she felt on her cheeks (and rather hoping it didn't result in any visible blush) Trixie nodded. "At the risk of sounding conceited," (she also chose to ignore the soft snort of a chuckle she heard from her partner. Even she found it difficult not to react to the irony of that statement) "I must agree. If you have your heart set on having your party here, we can, of course, make do and still give your daughter and guests a wonderful time, but the Cutesinera isn't just another birthday. It's one of those once-in-a-lifetime sort of memories that deserves that extra bit of effort."

City Slicker nodded, but his expression wasn't exactly pleased. "Sounds like you guys're thinking you need a park or something, right?"

Trixie actually could see the vibration course through Cheese's body. "Yeah. Ooooh boy, yeah. That sounds perfectly perfect."

"Would that be a problem?" Trixie asked, noticing the reluctance on Slicker's face. "This does seem the sort of neighborhood that would have one."

"Oh, we've got one, sure," Slicker said. "But to have big events like a party there, we gotta clear it by the HoA manager. And she's notoriously... and I'm going to use polite language here... difficult to work with."

Trixie felt a grin form on her face. This was familiar territory. She could deal with this. "Am I correct in assuming that in the event of getting this permission, you'd prefer the party there as well?"

"Oh, absolutely. But I think she hates me. I actually kinda think she hates everypony, but she seems to particularly dislike me. We knew each other in high school, and she wasn't particularly pleasant then, either."

"We should check the park out, first," Cheese said, though his grin silently said that it was already perfect even though he hadn't seen it yet. "Make sure it actually does fill out needs. After that..."

"After that," Trixie interrupted, "you can leave the manager to me."

~FiM~

The park was, in fact, perfect. Large and open, with a swing set and slide-fortress-mini-climbing-wall thing located out of the way enough to allow party goers to use it without getting in the way of any of the festivities. Several sturdy wooden picnic benches arranged just right for the cake and presents, with plenty of room for more if needed. And, it should be repeated, lots of space for lots of events. Trixie staked a claim for herself and her wagon/stage right away.

"This place is great!" Cheese enthused. "Why didn't you show us this right away?"

City Slicker was looking even more confused than previously. "I... did mention the mare whose permission I'd need hates me, didn't I?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"Some things just go in one ear and out the other, don't they?" Trixie said with a knowing smirk.

Cheese shrugged. "Sometimes, yeah. Bad habit of mine."

"I noticed." Trixie turned to the client, suddenly all business. "Don't worry, Mr. Slicker. Obtaining licenses and permissions is one of the many talents of the Great and Powerful Trixie." She smirked and gave him a reassuring wink. "Give me a few minutes to make myself presentable for such a thing, and we'll get this taken care of."

~FiM~

It was a very different Trixie Lulamoon that exited her cart ten minutes later. She had her mane done up in a slight updo, mostly a bun, but loosened just enough to remain professional but not stuffy. She had on a very well tailored business suit, of the same color as her performance cape -- minus the stars-- and she had applied a subtle dusting of makeup, just to make sure whoever she spoke to recognized that she did take first impressions very seriously.

Deep down, she had to admit she felt quite accomplished when she saw Cheese Sandwich's eyes widen, his jaw drop, and the rest of him just stop as he stood. Still. Silent.

She rolled her eyes. "Now if I had only known this would be all it would have taken to shut him up..." City Slicker chuckled at that. "Well, come along, Mr. Slicker. The sooner we get approved, the sooner we can set up." Here she lightly bonked Cheese upside the head a time or two to reboot the poor stallion. When he focused on her properly, she said. "This is important. We haven't gotten permission yet, so don't set anything up."

"Yes'm" he said with a salute, as Trixie rolled her eyes at his shenanigans again, and she and City Slicker left to talk to an apparently crabby HoA director.

~FiM~

"I thought I told you not to set anything up!" Trixie said in exasperation when she returned an hour later. Cheese Sandwich was right where she had left him, but was now practically nestled in a large pile of... yellow and orange... spheres? What were these things?

Cheese just grinned his big toothy grin at her. Trixie's hair was a touch messier than before, with one particular lock fallen over her face in that way that just gets right in the most annoying spot and never lets go, and there was some slight bagginess to her eyes, but even with her current exasperated expression, he could still see that look of triumph in her eyes.

"What, this? This is pre-prep at best. Nothing's actually properly placed yet, and I can clear this stuff out in about five minutes, tops."

She knew she shouldn't ask. She really did. But she could not help herself. "What even are these?"

"Party Bombs!"

"Party... Bombs?"

Cheese nodded with much enthusiasm. "Yeah. A Party Cannon's great when you have to set up an emergency shindig, but for pre-planned stuff, nothing beats Party Bombs. They take a fair bit more setup, but are a lot more precise. We good to go?"

Trixie shook her head to clear the sudden confusion. "Yes, absolutely. Mr. Slicker wasn't kidding about her hating everypony, but The Great and Powerful Trixie is nothing if not persuasive."

"Great! Now if you could help me for just a minute I need..." here he turned to his pile of Bombs. "That one, that one, that one, and that one. Oh, and the fuse spool, natch."

Trixie levitated the requested items and followed Cheese to the center of the park, where he began placing them. It seemed that he did need them precisely placed, too, as he would put one down, then look at it for a moment before moving it a quarter of an inch or less in one direction or other.

Trixie took the opportunity to tease, just a little. "So. You never told me you had a type."

Cheese looked back at her in confusion. "Huh?"

"Your reaction when I came out of the trailer wasn't very subtle."

Cheese laughed good-naturedly at that. "Oh, yeah. I guess I owe you an apology. I'm a bit slow on the uptake with these things, should've noticed back in the grove the other day. But when you came outta that trailer all dolled up and professional looking, it kinda bucked me in the head." Then he grinned and went back to work.

Trixie found herself very confused. "Well? What was it?"

Cheese looked back at her, a confused look on his own face, like what he was about to say was the most obvious thing in Equestria. "Oh, well. You're a really pretty unicorn is all."

...

An error in GPTrixie.exe has caused the program to stop working. Rebooting...

Her face was so hot that the small portion of her brain that wasn't screaming silently and wordlessly was surprised steam wasn't coming out of her ears like a tea kettle. And the idiot had gone back to his work like he didn't just drop a metaphorical bombshell on her. Why would he say that? She'd been complimented before, sure, but nothing like that. It was either suitors or ponies looking for something from her. Here, he just said it as if it were fact. An obvious one. She'd never dealt with a compliment so... guileless... so...

Sincere.

"Nope!" She said as soon as she could say anything and vanished with a POP and the smell of ozone. She appeared inside her trailer, grabbed her pillow from her cot, and screamed into it for about a quarter of an hour straight.

For his part, Cheese cast a confused glance at the chicken on his back as he attached the fuse to the detonator (old school box-and-plunger setup, of course). "My new partner is weird." Then he plunged the switch and with a SQUEE and a pink burst of glitter and confetti, a perfect birthday centerpiece table, with a 4 layer cake appeared, exactly where he wanted it.