Chapters William - Magic isn't Real! (Revised)
William - Magic isn't Real!
Not long ago...
"I can't believe you didn't back me on that! I mean, that guy was asking for it!" Aaron protested to Jennifer and William.
"No, Aaron. You are not going to strangle a stranger with his own entrails, dump his corpse on the train tracks, and watch it splatter like a ketchup packet." I said. "It's barbaric."
"Barbaric? Better than a pompous know it all like you."
"Pompous?" I said, feigning hurt. I'm not quite as good as him, but I can make anyone uncomfortable with acting talents the I have. "I never knew you could be so rude, " My face deadpanned with my voice. "you self-absorbed, over-aggressive moron."
"Will! Don't stoop to his level! Aaron! Stop being such a jerk!" Jennifer shouted at Aaron and I.
"Go to hell!" Aaron yelled in her face, eyes seething with rage. He turned and began storming off, calling behind him, "I'm off to make some sense of this bullshit."
"Go. See if I care." I said, walking the other way. Jennifer looked between them for a moment, and went after me.
"That was so mean. Why did you-"
"Because he needs to be put in his place, that's why." I explained, looking straight ahead. I couldn't make myself look at her right now. I was aching inside. I so rarely insult someone, let alone someone who knew me so well. And to do it in front of her...
No. I did what was right for everyone, I thought to myself (an odd thing indeed).
"Where are you going, anyway?"
"To the most important building in the vicinity."
"That one?" She pointed at a large tree-home hybrid. There was a sign out in front with a book on it; a universal signal for 'Library'. "Not to knock reading, but how will a bookstore help us?"
"Knowledge is always useful." I said simply, opening the door. The interior was, as I anticipated, filled with books on all sides. It appeared that someone took residence here as well, as telltale coffee mugs and a set of boots were strewn about, as if discarded or abandoned in a rush. A large table with a statue of a horse's head took up the center of the circular room, and a rounded staircase wound up the back wall.
"Excuse me?" I called. "My... Associate and I require some assistance."
'Assosiate?' mouthed Jennifer. I shrugged. What else to call her?
"Just a minute!" replied a female voice from upstairs. The click-clack of hooves sounded as a winged unicorn descended the staircase. "How may I- Oh! It's you!"
"Pardon?"
"It worked! The spell worked!" She hopped airborne for a moment, smiling like a maniac. On insanity-inducing drugs.
"'Spell?'" What did she mean by that?
"You know, magic! Anyhoof, I'm so glad you arrived safe-"
"Woah, woah, woah, slow down a second there. 'Magic?' What are you, seven?"
"I'm probably older than you, uh...?" She trailed off, at a loss for a name.
"William," I told her. "And you do realize magic, y'know, isn't real? It's a fools term to explain the as-of-the-moment inexplicable. Magic isn't even logical."
"Excuse me? What do you call this?" A violet aura enveloped a the coffee mugs on the table and levitated them into what I assume was a kitchen.
"Impressive, but likely just not yet explainable by science."
"Could I interrupt-" Jennifer spoke up.
"No," I said, unblinking. "There is nothing you can do to 'prove' magic is real. It's just events that cannot be explained by modern science. That may have been some form of telekinesis not yet evolved into our gene pools. Or some technology you are hiding." I rose a brow.
The mare was flustered, exasperated, and likely a bit mad. "Listen, we could argue this all day, or I could explain why you're here."
"I vote option A." I grinned. I absolutely love winning arguments. It's a thrill like no other.
"Please, William, stop!" Jennifer gave me a shove. "Now's not the time, or the place. I'm sorry, Miss Pega-corn lady."
"Alicorn, actually. And my name is Twilight Sparkle," She corrected her. "Now, if there are no more interruptions," She paused. "I called you here because we need a strategist quick, but not one that would alter your world's timeline in any major way. You were the one the magic spell chose for the job. I'm not sure exactly why it chose both of you-"
"Actually, four of us. One walked off in an over-dramatic rage, and the other... Oh, damn. I knew I was forgetting something."
"Oh gosh, we forgot Michael!" Jennifer slapped her wrist against her forehead. "He could be anywhere by now."
"Four of you?" Asked the pony. "It was only supposed to bring one-"
"Listen, we'd love to stay and chat, but we gotta find the little moron before he makes a fool of himself," I said, whipping open the door for Jennifer. "Or worse."
"Wait!" She called, but I was already out the door.
"Mike!" Jennifer called. "Michael!"
"No use. The little twit's gone."
We'd looked all around the train station for nearly twenty minutes. Wasn't much to look around. Unless he got on another train, he'd be in town. We hoped.
Jennifer sat down on a bench. "Great! Just great. Now what?"
"With any luck he found his way to someone of authority, and they sent him to the tree-house. Or he at least ran into Aaron, and isn't alone. Worst case scenario, he got stung by some toxic, alien bee and died and is now a zombie."
"Did you have to say that last one?" she groaned.
"Absolutely. Expect the worse, be more satisfied with the result."
"Your depressing."
"Your annoying."
"Let's not. Please." She covered her face with her hands.
"Fine. At any rate, it was rather rude of you to run out like that."
"You opened the door!"
"We should go back, get some answers. You need to apologize."
Jennifer stared at me, very irritated. She slapped me across the face, so hard it whipped my head to the left. "Let's go."
Aaron - My Choice. (Very Minor Revisions)
Aaron - My Choice.
"Pfa... it's not as if they'd be any help whatsoever anyways," I rationalized under my breath. "Those quarter-wits are probably still standing there, lost without my brilliance."
Sure, I hadn't a clue where I was going, who I was looking for, or why I'd blown up like that. But right now all I wanted was some gum. It's a stress reducer for me. Kind of a nervous tick. I always end up biting my tongue otherwise. So I wandered down the street full of market stalls, hoping at least one of them equated to a convenience store. I mean, what kind of town wouldn't?
Ten minutes later...
Damn this town. Damn the ponies. Damn them all.
Not ONE place sold gum in the entire street. Taffy, gum-drops, gummy bears, but not a single stick of gum anywhere. The only store that was supposed to sell it was out. I felt like throttling the little horse, but was too busy trying not to swallow the blood my tongue was letting flow (Funny. It didn't really taste like blood.). All I could manage was to flip her off before I left. ... Now that I think about it, she probably didn't get what that meant. No hands, the poor beasts. I decided to take a break from the 'mall crowd' in a side street. Well, it was really an ally. A dark one. The cliché was not intended.
Anyways, I was waiting in an ally for I-don't-know what, when I saw a green flash out of the corner of my eye, from around the next corner. I took a look, and almost rammed my chest into another goddam pony, with orange hair and a yellow coat. It had a carrot on it's ass like some kind of tattoo.
"The hell was that light?"
"What light?" said the carrot-top pony.
"That green flash. You must've been standing right in front of it."
"No, I don't remember-"
"Listen up, you little twit," I growled, stepping forward. "Either you saw it or you're the source. Because you will not lie to me. Got it?"
She swallowed. "Uh, well I guess I do remember a flash. It came from that garbage can over there. I think."
"Hmph. Was that so hard?" I walked over to the trash can (I don't call it garbage. Too big a word for something so insignificant.) and opened it up. Nothing but junk. I immediately spun around to confront the pony. "Lying sonuvabi-... The hell are you?"
I'd been confronted by some kind of horse-insect hybrid, shiny black with a mosquito's wings and a decimated horn like a unicorn (God, I can't believe I had to say that stupid word). It had multi-faceted teal-colored eyes, and fangs sharp as any knife. I found that out when it bit my arm.
"Ow!" I shouted. I grabbed the lid of the trash can and bashed it in the face, yelling "Get OFF! Get off you sonuvabitch!"
It hissed, releasing my arm. "Your blood is Changeling," it said in a snake's voice, backing off.
"Is that an insult? You just added insult to injury. I'm gonna enjoy tearing your head off and mounting it on a weathervane." I smiled maniacally.
"Wait! Stop!" It flashed green, and I was now looking at the carrot pony again. "I made a mistake, is all!"
"Too late," I said in a singsong voice, cracking my neck. No one to hold me back. Finally, real revenge, insteadof the weak stuff I normally am allowed. "I'll give you a five minute head start."
"Really?"
"Minutes, seconds." I cracked my knuckles and picked up the trashcan lid again. "I'm never clear on which is which."
She bolted. A minute later I ran after her. I have some level of mercy, after all.
Quite some time later...
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" I called out in a singsong voice. I'd chased the mare right out of town and into the woods beyond. I was beginning to lose interest, and those bug ponies run really fast. "Show yourself, Dammit!"
"Fine," it called back. I was taken aback for a moment, then eager to beat the living shit out of it.
It did show itself- as did about twenty others. And then, even worse, this seven-foot tall one with greasy looking hair and a black crown. It's eyes looked like a normal pony's eyes, though.
"Oh, uh, hello." I said nervously. Despite my apparent bloodlust, I could figure twenty-something to one is not the best odds. "You know I was just messing with you, right? I was just gonna give you a slap or something, y'know?"
"Oh? Alf says you threatened to 'mount his head on a weathervane." Said the tall one. A surprisingly normal female voice.
"I was joking. Honest." I lied. "Listen, how about I walk away, you walk away, and we forget the whole ordeal. 'Kay?"
"No, it's a bit late for that. You've seen us."
My brow furrowed, and I kicked a fallen branch up and caught it in my left hand. I adjusted the trashcan lid and held it like a shield. Overconfidence, I suppose, but I wasn't going down without a fight. "Well then. Have at it!"
Immediately a bug-pony launched itself at me. I ducked underneath, and bashed it's underside with the trashcan lid. Another did the same, and I smacked it aside with my makeshift club. Two came at me at once, so I sidestepped and let them bash heads. It continued on like this for quite a while. I made mistakes, ones drawing blood, bruising arms, but nothing serious. I was drenched in sweat by the end, but I actually won. The trashcan lid was bent into what looked like a metal raisin (I ended up smashing it over one of their heads, effectively impaling it too), and the club had shattered. All the remained standing was me, and the tall one.
"So," I panted. "Ya' gonna give it a shot or what?"
"No, no, of course not." She said, stepping towards me. "I'm actually quite impressed. You've sucessfully defended yourself against the majority my gathered forces."
"Then you really need to expand the pool," I said. "twenty men does not an army make, you twit." I don't know why I insulted her. These things just sort of roll off the tongue for me. "Honestly, it's pretty sad that one guy was able to take down your whole force. Pitiful, really-"
"Enough!" She growled, baring fangs longer than my fingers. "I said I was impressed, not asking for your opinion. Our forces were... scattered, through events out of my control. I was going to offer you a position as my second hand, but with a tongue like that-"
"How the hell do you know what a hand is?"
"Be silent! One more outburst and it is you're head that will be mounted from a weathervane!"
I was quiet, but silently fumed. You don't just steal a threat like that. Especially from me.
She huffed. "Good. You can follow an order. Now, as I was saying, I'm offering you a position. Perhaps a bit lowering ranking than I'd first imagined. First, you do know how to alter your appearance? You could've fought more efficiently as a pegasus, or perhaps a unicorn."
"Not a clue. And why on or off Earth would I need to transform? I'm awesome as I am."
"Wouldn't you agree fighting from the air is more safe? Or using bolts of magic?"
"That... That would be more effective." I consented. "So how-?"
"Simply focus your all energies on becoming... anything but that ape you are now."
So I did. I tried to force myself into the form of one of the other bug-horses. The Changelings. I focused so damn hard I must've nearly blown an blood vessel. I opened my eyes, and all that had changed was... well, my arm was a black, swiss-cheese-looking hoof. But the rest of me was still human.
"Dammit," I growled. "I thought you said I could completely change?"
"You should be able to. I'm not sure why you can't."
"Hmph. Well then, I suppose there's no point in joining with you. You offer me nothing." I reimagined my arm as it as, and it returned to normal. That worked, at least.
"Don't you resent those ponies? Or is it just me that does?"
"Not really. You're solo on this one, lady."
"That's Your Highness, to you."
"Uh-huh. Sure. Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're honestly starting to bore me." I began to walk away.
"Wait! Is there nopony you have a grudge against there? No enemies?"
I stopped, and my brow slowly drew into a scowl of deep resent. "Well... There's that know-it-all freak Will. And goody-two-shoes Jen. And that insufferably dense Mike."
"I can help you be rid of them. You can help me exact my revenge on those meddlesome ponies who foiled my plans all those months ago." She tempted. "Their love may be a valuable resource, but a replaceable one.
I thought about it. Turn my back on those multicolored freaks? Tempting. Joining with her? Perhaps. Being totally free of those tumors forever?
"Hell yes."
Michael - What? (No Revision)
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Jennifer - What a Weird Way to Begin a Tour... (Very Minor Revisions)
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Aaron - Professional Spy Man (Very Minor Revisions)
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Michael - Trains and Unicorns (Minor Revisions)
Michael - Trains and Unicorns
Shut it off.
No.
Shut itoff.
No. I like this song.
Both if you, stop.
Well I think-
Stuff it, Mike.
That's me, Michael. This is the way I think. Four, disagreeing, infuriatingly conflicting perspectives on every matter. If I were to write down the whole tirade about whether or not I should turn off the radio, I bet it would take up a whole journal. I suppose the better place to start would be the names. In they're opinion, I'm fun, hyperactive, and really, really bad at focus. Like, almost ADHD bad. Except when I'm writing. I'm usually pretty good then. But, uh, yeah, I'm pretty relaxed despite my energy. It's weird.
Anyhow, I'm supposed to be getting to the point by now. I was laying in bed, trying to sleep like usual. Then something weird happened.
"Hello? Sir? We're at the last station on the line."
"Mph, five more minutes..." I said, rolling over.
"But the train leaves soon."
"What train?"
"The one you're on. It's the last stop."
"Wha- huh?" I got up and looked around. I wasn't in bed anymore. I was on a train, though. And the person speaking wasn't a person. It was this brown horse, like four or five feet tall. He had on a conductor's hat and a vest with a pocket watch in it. "Where am I?"
"A train."
"Like, what town?"
"Ponyville."
"'Ponyville?' I don't even remember getting on the train."
"You don't?"
"Hey! Will ya' shut the hell up?" growled a voice in the next seat. A voice way too familiar.
"Aaron?"
It seemed impossible, but it was him. For a vague idea of him, think an anti-human activist mixed with an evil teacher with a 'badass' attitude. The general consensus is that he's a conceited jerk. He's a self proclaimed 'genius' because he notices everyone's flaws when they can't. He looked like he always made me dress- Dark hair swept strait down all around, automatically glaring with eyes that were, as he always wanted, a maroon red. The jerk was wearing black jeans, hiking boots,a white shirt, and the red hoodie that I personally thought was too big to wear. I mean, I can't get to my pockets with it on-
Wait, getting off topic.
"Mike? What the hell are you doing here- wait, this isn't my dream? Where am I?"
"What were you dreaming of?"
"This big old room full of idiots like you that I was busy cutting up into little- Wait, what's with the horse?"
"Excuse me? I'm a pony!" he piped up.
"Shut it, quadruped. I don't care were we are, just let me get back to my dream."
"Now now Aaron, aren't we acting a bit rude? Wake up on the wrong side of the bench?"
"William, you too?"
"It appears so." he said, leaning, arms crossed, against the doorframe. If you want to know about Will, for starter's, he's actually really smart, and good with card games and stuff. He reads emotions like children's books, but has trouble expressing himself. But he's a good guy- as long as Aaron doesn't get in his head. Will had this blonde hair swept to the left all neatly, and was looking around the room with startlingly blue eyes. He was wearing a grey polo and beige pants with dress shoes. He always dressed like that. I could see in his hand a pair of glasses, like the ones I'm supposed to wear for reading. I never do though. Wear them, I mean. I read-
Sorry. Back on track now.
"I'm getting confused now," said the pony. "Could somepony-"
"Some-what ? I said, already starting to snigger. "You sound ridicu-"
"Michael," warned William. "I'm sorry, sir. We are just as lost on the subject as-"
"Will, did you find the other- Oh, hey guys!"
Aaron groaned, facepalming. "Not this chick. Mike, maybe. Will, sure. But her? Why?! "
He was referring to Jennifer. He really doesn't like her. She's really nice and all, if a little emotionally fragile. Like seriously, I think she's more- uh, whatever neurotic for other emotions is- than Aaron. And he can kill a laugh mid breath if you say the wrong thing. She was wearing the same kind of clothes I was- A black hoodie with buttons on it, a grey tee-shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. But hers were for girls, obviously.
"Nice to see you too, Aaron." She said, glaring at him.
"Listen, I'd honesty love to see how this plays out, but I've got a schedule to keep," Said the conductor. "So are you getting off or not?"
"Yes." Jenny, Will, and I said.
"No." Aaron said.
"Come on, Aaron. We might as well enjoy this dream while we can." Jennifer said.
Aaron grumbled something unintelligible, but followed us off the train. I waved the conductor goodbye, and he awkwardly waved back as the train left the station. I turned to the others- Aaron was giving the evil eye to some pony that was staring, William was checking the train schedule, and Jenny was looking at the map of town.
"So we're... where?" She mumbled. "This even a real map?"
"Oh, I'm sure it's real. After all, we can see and touch it." William said.
"Shut up, smart ass." Growled Aaron, walking over.
"Better a smart ass than a dumb ass." William retorted nonchalantly. "In any case, there is a high probability that it's only our imagination. After all, we normally aren't separate entities, and horses of Earth aren't known for speech."
"Or we're on an alien planet, and travel split us up," I suggested absentmindedly.
"Is it weird I agree with Mike?" Jenny asked. "I mean, I've never dreamed so much detail. Or so lucidly."
"That is technically possible, however unlikely."
"This is all really interesting, but to be honest, I don't care all that much." Aaron yawned. "Now, when are we going home? And can we even get there?"
"I'm afraid I've not a single idea, as I doubt the train took us here. We could ask the leader of this place, perhaps he-"
"Or she." Jenny interrupted.
"Or she can help us." William glared at her. "All that remains now is to locate..."
I'd already stopped listening. I was going to ask this unicorn- Yes, a unicorn. I know it sounds crazy.- that I'd seen getting off the train where we could find someone to help us out.
"Hi, sorry to bother you," I started. "But, uh, could you point me in the direction of the leader of town?"
The white and blue unicorn lifted up her tinted sunglasses and looked at me quizzically. "You mean the mayor, or the princess?"
"Uh, whichever one is more helpful to travelers?"
"You'll want the princess then." She said, rolling her eyes to some kind of inside joke or something. "She lives in the big tree house down the street."
"Why does royalty live in a tree house?"
"Why not? Her choice."
"Good point. Thanks, uh..."
"Vinyl Scratch. That's my name, don't-"
"Wear it out." I finished. "Anyway, thanks Vinyl. Bye."
"Bye." She said slowly, turning away. Weird.
I walked back to where my... Friends, I guess? Friends had been.
They were gone.