I stared at the figure in front of me, the dark grin growing wider and wider.

“Didn’t your mother tell you it’s rude to stare?” It said, the grin revealing It’s jagged teeth even further.

“H-How?! You shouldn’t be able to-”

“Well, there’s enough latent magic bouncing around this place that I could use some of it to manifest in the real world. Pretty cool, isn’t it? Only one slight problem…” He trailed off, pointing at a light, that flickered, as if on cue.

“Well fucking stop! Leave me alone! I’m done with you!” I nearly shouted at It.

“It’s not that simple. You can’t just get rid of me. I, am here for the rest of your life.”

Thaddeus, what is that? Sigma questioned.

“Oh, yes. Sigma. I am a mental, and now physical manifestation of all of Thaddeus’ anger, fear, and most of all, guilt. Oh yes, our innocent Thaddeus is not so innocent. He has blood on his hands, you know.” It said, chuckling lightly.

“Fuck off! It was out of my control!” I shouted, confident Celestia was out of earshot.

“Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Thaddeus.” It said, frowning.

I wanted to attack It, but it wouldn’t work. Even if I could hit it, chances are it would overpower me in seconds.

“Oh, come on. You know I wouldn’t hurt you… much. C’mon. I’ll let you get the first hit in.”

“Fuck off.” I growled, staring at It.

“You know, just this once I’m going to listen, but only because I don’t want these… Ponies, finding out about me so soon.”

Once he finished talking he vanished, leaving me alone to think about what was going on.

“Why the fuck is It back?” I muttered, staring up at the canopy over the bed.

Well, I’m back because there’s something you’re scared of, angry at, or feeling guilty about.

“Why can’t you just leave? Why? Why am I stuck with you?” I queried.

We’ve been over this many times, Thaddeus. Too many times, in fact.

I sighed, hitting my head on the pillow.

I groaned, looking around the room for something to do.

“Why did I have to get injured? I could be doing other things like mapping the castle or just wandering around or something. But no, I’m stuck here, waiting.” I muttered to no one in particular, glaring at the canopy.

My thought process was interrupted by a light knock on the door.

I stared curiously at the door, unsure of what to do. Whoever was on the other side of the door knocked again, slightly louder this time.

“I… Uh, come in?” I said, slowly reaching my hand over the edge of the bed to grab anything I could reach.

The door slowly opened and a small metal cart wheeled in, soon followed by a mare wearing an inverted server uniform, contrasting her obsidian coat. Atop the metal cart was a platter covered by a metal dome.

“Hello, my name is Obsidia. I’ll be your server for the remainder of your time spent in bed rest.” She chirped, smiling.

“Nice to meet you. I am Thaddeus.” I replied, smiling slightly.

“Nice to meet you as well. Now, Celestia told me to bring you this.” She said, lifting the tray that was atop the cart, quickly moving it to my lap and removing the metal dome, revealing pancakes with strawberries, whipped cream, and bananas. My favourite food thus far.

“Thank you.” I said, smiling at her.

“Not a problem! Anything else I can help you with?” She chirped.

“Keep me company?” I replied, trying to escape having to listen to Sigma and It any longer.

“Hmm. I’m tempted to say yes, but I am currently working. I suppose I can stay for a few minutes though.” Obsidia replied, tapping her hoof against her chin.

“Oh. A few minutes is fine.” I said, “Feel free to pull up a chair. I don’t think Celestia will mind.”

She walked over to a chair and pulled it over, sitting on the other side of the metal cart. She was an average sized mare, wearing a white blazer with a black shirt and white tie underneath, contrasting her coat, which was similar, if not identical to the colour of obsidian, presumably the reason for her name.

I noticed the quizzical look she was giving me, and quickly realized I was staring. I shook my head, causing her to giggle lightly.

“Sorry.” I apologized, smiling sheepishly.

“Not to worry. I realize it could be hard to take in everything that has happened in the past few days for you. The Princess gave me the rundown.” She replied, her face shifting into a more sad expression.

“To be completely honest, I think I’ve taken this surprisingly well.”

“I’d say. You landed on an alien world, wake up to a different species and then proceed to get with one of the diarchs. That’s definitely taking it well.” She said, giggling.

“There was a bit more than that but that’s the gist I suppose. I don’t even know how I managed to end up with Celestia.” I replied. “So how did you get assigned to dealing with me?” I queried.

“Well, the Princess came up to me and said “I need you to serve our guest. He’s currently injured and confined to bed.” and she told me where you were and told me to grab your food and now I’m here.”

“Any particular reason she chose you? Not that I’m implying there’s something wrong with that.” I quickly stammered.

She chuckled, “Not that I know of. Guess I just got lucky.” She replied, glancing at the clock, “Oh goodness. I have to go, but I’ll be back around noon. Enjoy your breakfast!” She said, quickly moving the chair back to it’s position before wheeling the cart out of the room.

I quickly ate my breakfast, placing the plate on the nightstand next to me.

“Fuck my life.” I grumbled, staring at the canopy.

You could rest. There’s something new in the Sanctuary.

“Yeah, sure. How do you suppose I do that?” I said, moments before I fell unconscious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I appeared on the Hero’s Seal, glancing around the room to find that it had changed a rather significant amount. The dark spot that had appeared previously had now taken up half of the room, the side that It was standing, smiling at Sigma, who was staring angrily at him.

“Get. Him. Out.” Sigma said, not even glancing away from him.

“But Sigma, you haven’t even given me a chance!” It said, It’s trademark grin growing even wider.

“Sigma, I don’t think we can do anything about it right now. I’ve never been able to get rid of it in the past. It comes and goes as it pleases.”

“But look at what he’s done to the sanctuary!” She shouted, gesturing her hands to the opposite side of the room that was covered in a dripping darkness.

It smiled, looking at the darkness surrounding It.

“What, you don’t like it?” It said, holding a hand to his chest where his heart would be, if he had one.

“No, it looks terrible, I don’t like it and I want it out!” Sigma shouted, stomping her foot.

“You wound me, Sigma.”

“Look, I really don’t want to deal with this, Sigma. Yes, it looks gloomy and dark and depressing but I don’t know what to do about it so just suck it up for now, alright?” I advised, exasperated.

“Fine.”

“Thank you, Sigma. You know what they say. Never let them see you sweat. We’ll figure this out. For now, we need to give him a name.”

“Nooooo, don’t give him a name! Then we’ll never be able to get rid of him!” Sigma whined, throwing her hands up into the air.

“Sigma, what did I just fucking say?” I scolded, glaring at her.

“Never let them see you sweat.” she replied, looking at the floor.

“Exactly.” I said, turning to face It. “Hmmm… What about Epsilon?”

“That is… tolerable.”

“Neat. Epsilon and Sigma. I like it. Now that that’s out of the way, is there anything else I have to deal with here?” I queried, glancing back and forth at Epsilon and Sigma.

“Nothing that I can think of.”

“Nor I.”

“Alright. So I can have some peace and quiet for a while?”

“I suppose. For a while.”

“Good.” I said as I stepped on to the Guild Seal again, the sanctuary fading away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes opened, slowly adjusting to the light of the room.

“Yay… Now I get to wait for who knows how long to have something to do.” I muttered, staring at the canopy again.

You should talk to Celestia about getting a pet then.

“Yeah maybe I sho--” I stopped when I heard the door handle turn, quickly reaching down the side of the bed where my rifle manifested in my hand. Suddenly a blue head that I recognized as Luna’s peeked around the edge of the door.

“Hello, Thaddeus.” She said, walking into the room.

“Uh, hi?” I said, confused.

“How are you feeling after your recent injuries?” She inquired, walking towards the edge of the bed.

“Uh, just fine I guess. Don’t you usually sleep at this time?” I queried, placing the rifle on the floor.

“Usually, but I thought I would come and check on thou and keep thee company for a while.” She said, climbing on to Celestia’s side of the bed.

“Oh. Okay. That is nice of you.” I replied, propping myself up on the headboard, raising the blankets to cover my chest.

“How was Night Court? I asked.

“It was tolerable. Slow as usual.” She replied, yawning and crawling under the blankets with me.

“Do you intend to sleep in here?” I queried.

“Mmmmm, no.” she murmured, wrapping a hoof around my arm and pulling, indicating she wanted me to move closer.

“Who am I to refuse a princess?” I thought, shuffling closer to Luna.

“Thanks…” She mumbled, resting her head on my chest. Her breathing slowed down a significant amount, indicating that she had fallen asleep.

“So that was complete bullshit.” I mumbled, brushing her hair out of my face.

“Holy shit. Her hair is so soft.” I said, running my hand through her hair again, which devolved into me stroking her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I glanced at the clock, noting that it was nearing noon. Luna was still sleeping. She occasionally mumbled incoherently, or let out a low hum.

How did you even end up in this situation?

“Well, I’m assuming that she wanted to come and keep me company for a bit but didn’t realize how tired she was. Which leads us to where we are now.” I thought, running my hand through Luna’s hair again.

I was talking more in the grand scheme of things. Like screwing one of the Diarchs of this nation.

“Oh. No clue. Xenophilia on both our parts? Perhaps she doesn’t take a pony suitor because she fears they’ll use her for her status, and since I am not a citizen of this nation, or even this planet, I couldn’t use it to get fame or status because most of the ponies would not believe a word that came out of my mouth?”

That is… surprising well thought out. How long have you been thinking about that?

“Well, these ponies are similar to humans in some ways. There is definitely a chance they’re greedy cocksuckers that would do something like that. However, I only have a small sample size that I can use to compare, so until I have a larger sample size, it’s an inconclusive conclusion.”

Wow, Thaddeus. I didn’t think you had it in you to be intelligent and rational.

“Okay, first, you’re being a total dick right now, and second, I’m not all looks.” I said aloud, causing Luna to stir.

“I’ve made a mistake.” I thought, watching Luna intently to see if she was going to wake up.

She soon rested her head against my chest again, I sighed, watching the clock as it slowly ticked closer and closer to noon.

Soon, there was a knock at the door. Obsidia opened the door, not waiting for me to invite her in.

She stopped as she saw the Lunar Princess, eyes widening.

I gestured for her to come in with my one free hand.

She slowly pushed the cart to my side of the bed. “Are you--”

“No.” I cut her off, feeling like I already knew the question.

“Then why is she here?” Obsidia asked, eying me wearily.

“No idea. She showed up, said she was going to keep me company, and then she fell asleep.” I whispered, remembering that waking Luna was very possibile.

“Should we wake her?” Obsidia queried.

“Ehh, maybe we should. She might be hungry.” I whispered, looking at Luna’s peaceful face.

“She’s usually sleeping at this time. Then again, she’s usually asleep in her own bed, so things might be a bit different. We should wake her.” She affirmed.

I nodded, turning my head to face Luna.

“Luuuuunaaaaaa.” I breathed into her ear, causing it to flick as a dog’s ear would.

I ran my hand across her head, waiting for a sign that she was waking up. No dice.

I did it again, slightly louder this time. She groaned, her mouth moving slightly.

I turned to Obsidia, “If she doesn’t wake up after this one, I’m going to let her sleep.” I informed her.

Obsidia nodded in response.

I leaned towards Luna’s ear.

“Luna, come on. It’s time to get up.” I said in a normal speaking tone. Her ear flicked and her eyes slowly opened. I continued to stroke her hair.

She groaned, “Why did thou wake me up?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with one hoof.

“It was actually for two reasons. One, you’re in Celestia’s bed, with me in it, and two, there’s food here and we were wondering if you wanted some.” I stated matter-of-factly.

“Who is we?” She replied, now noticing the other person in the room.

“That is… I’m sure she can introduce herself if you two are not already acquainted.” I said, gesturing to Obsidia.

“I am Obsidia, I work as a server here in the castle, and I am currently assigned to Thaddeus. Until he is well enough to move on his own, that is.” She announced, smiling.

“Charmed.” Luna said, unimpressed with the pony who may have had a hand in waking her.

“Are you hungry, Luna?” I queried.

“Not terribly, but I could eat a bit.” She replied.

Obsidia smiled her smile and pulled the metal dome from the platter, revealing a stack of sandwiches of various types, including what I thought was the same sandwiches I had had at the lunch with Celestia’s student and her friends.

The platter was lifted with expert balance, which was impressive considering the amount that was on the platter, before being set down next to me.

“Anything else I can get either of you?” Obsidia asked.

“No, thank you.” Replied Luna.

“Could I perhaps get some whisky?” I asked, half-jokingly.

This caught Obsidia off guard. Luna was too sleepy to notice though.

“I-Uh… It’s the middle of the day. Are you sure you want to be drinking right now?”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” I said, smiling.

“What?”

“Oh. Right. Science. Yes, I would like a drink right now.”

“I… I’ll have to talk to Princess Celestia.” She said, quickly leaving the room, forgetting the cart.

“Oh boy! I love me some whisky.” I said, grabbing the familiar looking sandwich.

This can only go well.

Author's Note

Well. There it is. *Insert Jeff Goldblum .gif* It's going to read awkwardly or seem odd for a while. I'm still getting back into the swing of writing. Finals are coming up pretty quick. Anyways, Enjoy.

Cheers

William.