Screw Loose, Adventure Pony!

“Why Canterlot?” Crackle couldn’t help his curiosity, rearing his head by 180 degrees (with an obnoxious scratch-your-hoof-on-the-chalkboard screech) whilst in full throttle. This resulted in the galloping dragon narrowly missing a very sturdy oak on the side of the road – two feet to the right, and a doubtlessly painful crash would have occurred. “Crackle, would you be so considerate and keep your eye on the road when going at this velocity? Considering the task at hand, we’d both better prevent any potential injuries,” Screw Loose scolded his minion mount, “I shall answer your inquiry, though, fear not.” Satisfied with a promise of an explanation, the dragon promptly focused on the road again, letting the pony in the barrel breathe a sigh of relief and stop nervously scouting his surroundings for objects his inattentive companion could run headfirst into. However, it would be some time before he got fully used to that dreadful sound of the dragon’s head turning at unnatural angles.

The colt cleared his throat and began, “For you see, Crackle, the reasoning is trivial. Princess Celestia, the sole wielder of the Elements of Harmony, resides in Canterlot. As you told me yourself, her grip on them may be weakening, perhaps in part to Kraakers’s doing, but that doesn’t change the fact that she still remains the most powerful equine in the land and is definitely on our side of the conflict. After all, she participated in turning Discord to stone! I am not undermining your competence, my faithful associate, as you appear to know a lot when it comes to this subject matter, but I am led to believe that she may possess some information that you have not come across yet. And if she turns out to be completely green, then at least we’ll alert her of the danger and appropriate security measures will be taken.”

“That all make sense, but there am one thing Crackle am worried about,” the dragon uncertainly mumbled. “Out with it, my companion!” Screw Loose was pretty sure that this meant some information Crackle forgot to share. “Crackle and Screw am look funny,” came the embarrassed reply. Oh, this tiny inconvenience. “Fear not, Crackle, for we bring very valid information, and the Princess is sure to take us seriously, regardless of how silly our appearance may be.” In fact, assuming that there was a grain of truth in those old ponies’ tales, there was a pretty good chance of them getting taken seriously. Take that ridiculous Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant, which was hammered into his head over and over again by an ever-rotating, charmingly incompetent local cast each year –the earth pony leader had a bowl of pudding on her head and could think inside a chimney, yet still she was treated as an equal when the debate took place. He had a barrel concealing his lower half instead of a bowl of pudding on his head, but he had a dragon minion as well to work the odds in his favor. Fine, the dragon wasn’t exactly normal, but that’s still better than no dragon at all.

With that, Screw Loose allowed himself to stop thinking inside the barrel, or altogether in fact. It was a beautiful day, the breeze sweeping around him because of their speedy movement, and the sun was shining in his face, making him feel alive and truly happy for the first time in years. He still had no idea how the dragon found him, but ever since he placed himself in that barrel, everything felt natural and logical as he was freed from his old limitations. He allowed himself to recline with a sigh of delight, soaking up the atmosphere.

After some blissful rest, which helped Screw Loose regain some of the sleep he lost thanks to last night’s antics, a thought hatched in the back of his mind – in spite of knowing that he was out to get Kraakers, and that he was about to converse with Princess Celestia, he didn’t actually know who or what Kraakers may be. A minor oversight that could be of tremendous significance to the mission. It was imperative that he find out the nature of his newly discovered nemesis! Since Crackle was the one to bring Kraakers up in the first place, he was sure to have some information.

“Crackle…” Screw Loose began. “Yes?” the dragon reared his head once more, killing off a few more of the pony’s brain cells. He flinched, but continued, “Crackle, you never told me about Kraakers. I know that we’re supposed to gun Kraakers down, but that’s about it. Do you know anything else?” “Yes, Crackle know. Crackle was am not able to show you before, for there am no Skit Tree where you live. But there am Skit Tree twenty yards ahead, Crackle plant it himself when Crackle was little dragon. You want?” “I do believe so, yes. Plus, we’ve been at it for hours, you deserve a rest,” Screw Loose didn’t question Crackle’s methods. The dragon slowed down, shifting his head once more (much to the colt’s dismay) in order to locate… a perfectly ordinary tree that did not differ at all from the ones surrounding it. The pair ground to a halt in its vicinity, and Screw Loose hopped off the dragon’s back. “We move close,” Crackle instructed. The pony leapt forward a little, with Crackle following suit.

“Whee, that am was fun!” the dragon yapped enthusiastically while Screw Loose picked himself up, all the animals bolted and the surrounding plant life gradually stopped shaking. “Hiya, Skit Tree,” Crackle greeted the tree. “Hello,” the tree greeted Crackle, “who’s your friend?” “That Screw Loose, Adventure Pony! He am help Crackle find Kraakers!” the dragon beamed, showcasing his new companion. “Oh, would you look at that, old sport, apparently the whole ‘pony goes in the barrel’ thing did turn out to be true! Well, congratulations to you! Would you want some celebratory crumpets?” the tree levitated a platter of steaming hot crumpets from between its leafy branches, tempting its visitors. Screw Loose and Crackle both dug in eagerly, realizing just how hungry they were. “Mmm, Mr. Tree, those are simply exquisite. You have to give me the recipe!” the pony managed to utter between mouthfuls. “Oh, I am so flattered you are enjoying them! Of course, here you go,” a rolled up scroll promptly floated towards the pony, who accepted it with a curt nod and stashed it in his barrel for later. Once the platter got cleaned up, Crackle smacked his lips and addressed the Skit Tree, “Skit Tree, we am off to find Kraakers. But Screw no am know how Kraakers was made. Can you show?” “Of course, that’s what I’m here for, no?” the Skit Tree replied, dropping the break.

The Tale of Kraakers

Act One

Wherein the Foundation for Kraakers is Laid

Silence. An empty sea, with wood instead of water, a decent amount of smoke is hovering in the air.

[Nothing happens for a few minutes, then a petite ship enters from house left. It’s a perfectly normal ship, except it’s made from Styrofoam, it has wheels, and the chimney is sucking up smoke instead of blowing it out. ROY and PODGE, two visibly chaos-addled ponies, are crammed on the tiny deck. The deck also features a plastic garden table, a tennis racket and a stuffed llama. PODGE is wearing a flower pot for a hat. Both ROY and PODGE twitch occasionally, ROY scratches his back often. Their dialogue feels painfully stagnant and lifeless.]

ROY: Hello. My name is Roy.
PODGE: I live in a giant sea urchin.
ROY: Hello. My name is Roy and I like your hat.
PODGE: It is not a hat.
ROY. Oh. Take it off then, I want to dance with it.
PODGE: No. It is glued to my head.
[Silence.]
PODGE: The weather is nice.
ROY: Yes.
PODGE: Hello. My name is Podge.
ROY: Yes.
PODGE: Yes.
[Silence. ROY looks up-stage, at the wooden sea.]
ROY: Oh look. Badgers.
[There are no badgers.]
PODGE: Oh no I am morbidly afraid of badgers. I have to run and hide.
[Stays in place.]
ROY: The badgers are cute. They’re painting flowers. Give them your crackers, they are so cute.
PODGE: That is the best idea I ever heard.
[PODGE lifts the flower pot, revealing an unopened, neon-orange pack of crackers on his head. PODGE moves his head over the side of the ship, letting the pack of crackers fall off. The pack of crackers lands on the wood with a dull, quiet sound.]
ROY: Hooray.
PODGE: Hooray. Cobbler.
ROY: Cobbler.
PODGE: Cobbler cobbler cobbler cobbler.
ROY: Cobbler cobbler cobbler cobbler.
PODGE: Cobbler cobbler cobbler cobbler.
ROY: Cobbler cobbler stop.
[Silence for about a minute.]
PODGE: Cobbler.
[Silence.]
PODGE: I once saw a lamp, you know.
ROY: Oh? Do go on.
PODGE: It was very mean. It stepped on my hoof and cut ahead of me in line.
ROY: What a mean lamp.
PODGE: Yes.
ROY: Hello. My name is Roy. Yes.
PODE: Yes.
ROY: Cobbler.
PODGE [visibly irritated]: No!
[ROY smacks his head on the table. PODGE finally recalls the flower pot in his hoof and puts it back on.]
PODGE: I live in a giant sea urchin.
ROY: Yes.
[Silence. The ship gradually exits to house right. The wooden sea remains empty, the sky’s clear now, the abandoned pack of crackers sitting motionlessly in the middle of it all.]

CURTAIN

“That was beautiful, Skit Tree,” Screw Loose praised the show after another break dropped them back into the story. “Thank you. I know,” the tree was taken with the pony’s compliment. “Still, that doesn’t fully answer my inquiry – what did this have to do with Kraakers?” the colt couldn’t make much sense of the situation. “This am Kraakers. The pack of crackers am Kraakers now. He just am became bad chaos later,” Crackle hurried to the rescue. That still didn’t quite satisfy the pony’s desire for knowledge, “But how?” “That Crackle am not know. Crackle am ordered Acts Two & Three by mail order, but Skit Tree am eat mailbox and Acts Two & Three am never came,” the dragon shot a mildly angered look at the tree, which responded with a prompt “I’m sorry, I thought it was a sign post. You know how I love sign posts, don’t you?” “Crackle know, Crackle know, Crackle no am mad. You no have eyes after all,” Screw Loose’s companion let go of any lingering grumpiness and patted the tree on the bark.

So, to recap – Kraakers is a neon-orange pack of crackers possessed by some sort of evil chaos spirit, and is probably quite weak. Still, his presence is somehow undermining Equestria, and he needs to be dealt with. The pony smirked – at least the likelihood of having to deal with an agile, deadly monster was pretty low. Cracker packets aren’t particularly vicious or shape-shifting. There was no information on how he came to be, but there must be some sort of generalized procedure for all sorts of wicked chaos creatures that Princess Celestia would pass on to them… oh yeah, Princess Celestia.

“It’s been great hanging out with you, Skit Tree, your skits are great and you sure know how to whip up some mean crumpets, but we really should get going if we want to see the Princess today. It’s still a pretty long way to go, and we’d rather get there at a reasonable time,” the pony started getting ready to leave, with Crackle soon following his lead. “Oh, you’re off to Canterlot? I could easily teleport you there,” came the tree’s calm reply. “Oh, how?” the duo’s eyes sparked up with interest. “Well, you know, it’s boring, being a Skit Tree among all those other trees that aren’t Skit Trees. So I secretly turned each and every single one of them into a Skit Tree, and it’s much cooler now,” the tree replied smugly, much to Crackle’s delight, who immediately hugged it with a cry of “Skit Tree, you so smart, Crackle am so proud of you!” The tree blushed (as much as a tree can blush) before explaining, “Well, they’re all kind of lesser Skit Trees, I’m not powerful enough to create ones as strong as me. But they have some rudimentary foundations, and I can flit between them if I get bored. So, you want to get to Canterlot? I’ll take you in here with a new skit, and deposit you by one of Canterlot’s trees, cutting your journey short. Sounds like a plan?” “Oh yes, yes it does! That’s a great idea, Skit Tree!” Screw Loose was ecstatic, “Actually, the idea is so good… would it be a huge bother to ask you to do this more often? This would be a very convenient method of travel, teleportation. It could speed up our quest of finding Kraakers drastically.” The tree nodded (as much as a tree can nod) vigorously, “I would love to help, as tracking him down is very important, and it will let me have visitors and we can have crumpets more often!” “Hooray, crumpets!” Crackle was jubilant, “Skit Tree, Screw Loose, you so smart, this am will work so good! And crumpets!” “I’ve got many a culinary treat in store, fear not. And if you want to call me, just put your hoof or paw on the trunk and I’ll pop up in the correct tree. Cool, no?” Skit Tree solved another potential technical difficulty before it even came up in conversation. “Yeah, that’s amazing! Thanks so much, Skit Tree! Now, off to Canterlot with a skit!” Screw Loose raised his arms victoriously before the impending break.

A, B. B is not wearing sandals.

A: I am so glad that we are such good friends because you are wearing sandals.
B: But I am not wearing sandals.
A: What?! [double-checks] How could you do this to me?!

CURTAIN

It was a peaceful day in Canterlot Castle… like any day, in fact. Equestria was far removed from turmoil, the last of it occurring hundreds of years ago when Luna went berserk. Since then, the occasional minor brush-off with untamed nature happened, usually around the rims of the land, but those were all minor crises never requiring anything more than a small, qualified group of experts to solve. And none of those events ever perturbed the capital, which lulled itself into its unique, tranquil pace. Time seemed to flow slower there, detached from the rest of Equestria. Even the colossal, busy trade district felt relaxed, the haggling sluggish, civil and cultured. Still, Canterlot Castle was easily the most tranquil part of the town, and Princess Celestia appreciated it very much. It made it easier to live with the responsibility resting on her shoulders, letting her effortlessly keep a calm mind no matter what the magnitude of the situation may be. It did get pretty lonesome sometimes, but that would not be an issue much longer – only a few more years and she’d be reunited with her sister. She lasted so long already, the finishing stretch was nothing…

The alicorn looked down from her balcony at the reflecting armor of her guards below. Occasionally she wondered whether maintaining a royal guard of such size even made sense – as mentioned, Equestria was pretty much peaceful by default, and a fraction of the current ponypower would easily suffice. Still, there were a few families that have been responsible for guarding the Princess for more generations than one could think possible, and the Princess appreciated the value of tradition and didn’t want to shatter an age-old order on what felt like a whim in comparison to their honor and history. It was actually inspiring, how in spite of what felt like eternal peace each and every single one of the guards was meticulously trained to deal with a variety of critical situations, ready to fend off intruders, prepare evacuations and sacrifice their own lives for the Princess if needed. Equestria evolved, but this tradition remained intact, ready to protect its ruler in case of unexpected emergency. But what sort of unexpected emergency could happen?

And then, as if on command, a dopey dragon with a blue colt appeared out of nowhere right next to the tree closest to the balcony where the Princess was reclining. Celestia immediately cursed her wandering thoughts as the guards, spears drawn, surrounded the sudden appearance, but the duo didn’t even notice them yet. The dragon was virtually bawling with laughter, and had trouble keeping his balance, what resulted in the pony quickly toppling over to the right and hitting the ground with an unexpected, wooden thud. “Oh my, can you believe it? Sandals! He am say sandals!” the drake was literally rolling on the ground guffawing like mad. One of the guards, his armor a bit more pompous and shinier than that of the others, quietly mumbled “…sandals?” in surprise. “You heard the captain! Sandals! Move it, go, go, go!” one of the less impressively clad ponies immediately aimed his spear and rocketed towards the creature. The captain’s futile cry of “No, Alert Watch, no!” came too late, as the spear tore a hole in the dragon’s minuscule wing. The resulting shriek of pain scared the ponies a few steps back.

“Alert Watch, you bozo, ‘sandals’ was the code word for full-on attack last week! This week it’s ‘razzle dazzle’! Plus, didn’t you see I was just shocked by what this… thing… was saying? There was no need to use force, at least not yet! I was definitely not calling for it!” the captain was angrily scolding the overzealous guard, who hung his head in shame. “Yeah, guys, we’re not going to do anything to you. We come in peace!” a muffled voice tried to make itself heard over the dragon’s agony. The guards weren’t fully buying it, judging by the fact their spears were still raised. “I am Screw Loose, Adventure Pony!” “And me am Crackle!” said the dragon, immediately replacing its pained wailing with a careless grin, the spear still hanging from the busted wing. This was quickly cracking the top five weirdest things to ever happen in the castle, but the odds of it surpassing The Tapioca Incident were still pretty low, the Princess thought to herself as she curiously, yet cautiously overlooked the situation from her elevated viewpoint.

“Hear me out, fair guards! We come in a matter of utmost importance!” the pony who dubbed himself Screw Loose continued, managing to get up beside the dragon. “There exists a chaotic menace by the name of Kraakers, and his very existence is jeopardizing Equestria as we know it! It is imperative that we get to speak with the Princess, for she may be able to help us on our quest to destroy this anomaly!” Celestia racked her brains as Crackle nodded vigorously below. The name Kraakers was familiar, where has she heard it before…

Oh buck. Even if the unlikely duo below was just a pair of clowns, they still had to be treated seriously on the off-chance that they possessed actual, relevant information. Could this really be…?

“Put down your weapons, my loyal guards,” Celestia applied a smidgen of her old Royal Canterlot Voice in order to get everybody’s attention efficiently. Immediately, Screw Loose and Crackle glued their eyes on her, as did some of the less experienced recruits. That worked pretty well. “I believe the motivation of these visitors, and wish to speak with them in my chambers. Captain, assemble a small group of your finest ponies to assist me. Everypony else, return to your designated watch positions,” the Princess gave out some brief orders, and the captain was joined by two experienced-looking guards whilst the others dissipated, and the elite headed towards the staircase leading to the Princess’s chambers. The captain followed, but not before laying a proper smack on the head of Alert Watch. Not entirely undeserved, Celestia thought to herself. After all, he did end up wounding this innocent creature, which may just be the bearer of very, very important news.

“Uh, Princess Celestia?” Screw Loose called from below, “Where are your chambers exactly? The guard ponies kind of didn’t wait for us, and we’d rather not get lost…” “They’re right in here, behind my back,” the Princess answered. “Can we just fly up? It would be great if Crackle could participate too, he knows quite a bit about Kraakers.” “Uh, I guess so,” a quizzical expression threatened to overtake Celestia’s royal demeanor, but she managed to remain regal. That is, until the dragon’s injured wing fell off, and two seconds later a brand new one grew in its place. The alicorn didn’t manage to stifle the puzzled look that immediately crept on her face – this creature alone was trying really hard to be more bizarre than The Tapioca Incident, and that was with leaving his barrel-clad companion out of the equation. However, being a Princess called for royal manners, and she regained her composure before the duo landed on her balcony. She led the way, joining the guards in her chambers. Crackle promptly walked in behind her and settled in a corner, whilst the pony hopped along.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Each of Screw Loose’s jumps resounded with a cavernous echo, not letting the barrel’s contact with the royal marble floor fade into oblivion without some further resonance. The sound was far removed from endearing, and Princess Celestia really wanted it gone… aha, and she could get rid of it whilst appearing hospitable! “Fair adventurer, would you like some assistance?” the alicorn inquired, hopefully as calmly as she’d hoped. “Oh, yes please! Do you have a duck?” Screw Loose’s mouth twisted into an inspired grin. Celestia cast a subtle, inquiring glance at her head guardsman, who just shrugged. “Of course,” the Princess focused her magic for a brief moment, and a duck was teleported into Screw Loose’s vicinity with a faint pop, “here you go.” The pony wasted no time, pulling out some string and a skateboard from the depths of his barrel. He promptly placed the duck on the skateboard and then tied the resulting hybrid to a loose bit of the upper hoop. “Thank you, Princess. Go boy, go,” the ushered duck started rolling forward, pulling Screw Loose towards the alicorn. Contrary to what one may have expected, there was no foul screeching against the stone floor, just the mute clatter of the skateboard’s wheels. The Princess’s poker face stayed firmly in place.

“So, fair adventurers, what exactly brings you to Canterlot?” Celestia inquired once the duck finally hauled the barrel to its target destination. “As I’ve told you out in the courtyard, we’re on the hunt for Kraakers. All we know about Kraakers is that he’s a possessed pack of crackers, neon-orange if it may be of any sort of relevance, which was planted somewhere in the sea during a period of rock-solid chaos, Discord’s heyday most likely. The first act wasn’t that informative. Anyway, somewhere between there and now, Kraakers turned from an inanimate object into a malevolent chaos being, and we need to stop him as I gave Crackle my rake,” Screw Loose blurted out whilst putting the duck-skateboard contraption away, and Crackle nodded at the appropriate moment. The dragon was by no means bored – he pulled what looked like a giant wool coat hanger from under his wing and continued knitting it, getting some well-deserved confused glances from the guards. “The very fact that Kraakers exists appears to be leaking the bad kind of chaos into Equestria, weakening the fabric of reality you set in place by sealing Discord in stone, and the ultimate chaos overlord’s return is becoming more and more likely with each passing day. As such, we are seeking your assistance – whilst we doubt that you need to dust off the Elements of Harmony for this particular mission, as Kraakers is quite feeble, we would appreciate any sort of guidance you may give us, as well as any possible back story you may possess on Kraakers or any other chaos beings.”

“Well, I won’t lie, adventurer, the news you bring are quite disturbing. I have only heard of Kraakers being mentioned in some not-widely circulated ponies’ tales from the Phillydelphia area, and whilst he appeared potentially chaotic, the scarceness of the fables and his portrayal within made me neglect him, writing him off as a creation of somepony’s imagination. After all, the storytellers of Phillydelphia are the ones who came up with the bipedal, hoof-free, mane-less creations known as… drat, what were they called… ‘hoomins’? Something like that. However, as you come to me with such information, I guess he may exist after all. Don’t worry, though – according to the ponies’ tales, he’s pretty much harmless, so once you find him, destroying him will be easy enough.” The Princess’s gaze became considerably sadder and more worried, “The issue of Discord’s potential return is much more threatening though. As you know very well, I’m the current sole wielder of the Elements, and it’s not quite the same without Luna. It will probably never be the same, even once Luna returns. And it took every ounce of the Elements’ true power to lock Discord away in the first place,” Celestia’s explanation got interrupted with a concise “Crackle am knew that!” courtesy of the dragon, who was beaming with delight. Spotting the guards’ gazes, Crackle cleared his throat and assumed his eloquent manner (as displayed in the introductory movie Screw Loose was subjected to), attempting to kickstart the conversation with “Good day, kind gentlecolts. Do any of you by chance like animals?” “So, as you knew, this implies that shall Discord return, we are – to put it bluntly – screwed,” Celestia couldn’t stop her front hoof nervously scratching the floor. The potential return of chaos’s grand overlord was definitely not a laughing matter.

“If I may interject, Your Highness, I would like to propose a potential scholar to consult on the subject matter. I have a good friend, a learned pony, we met one day when he was studying the ancient runes carved into the wall of the cave I was using as my bachelor pad at the time. Not the best place I ever lived in – pretty far from anything worth noting, and the rent was outrageous. We kept in touch since then, and he got his PhD in the Elements of Harmony, so I guess he knows what’s up. True, a mere PhD doesn’t exactly make him the number one go-to choice for reconnaissance, but it should be noted that he’s in touch with the more bizarre side of reality and may be able to grant some answers that conventional scholars wouldn’t be able to produce. He taught me how to feel Kraakers’s existence in the first place, so I guess he’s pretty potent when it comes to this subject matter. It’s not that I’m questioning the sources you have available, Your Majesty, but I’m pretty sure you already know just about everything a pony can know about the Elements as you created them in the first place,” Crackle, still in elaborate mode, brought yet another angle to the discussion. The Princess looked at him sternly, “That is true. I do possess all of ponydom’s knowledge concerning the Elements. However, as I am not able to feel Kraakers, your scholar friend may be able to assist us. Do you require any aid in getting to his location?” “No, Your Highness. The Skit Tree will be able to get us there without trouble – you saw us arrive in Canterlot, we can use this method of transport quite efficiently. Also, I would like to thank you, both on our and my friend’s behalf, for permitting us to aid you in a matter of such importance. Once we obtain his answers, we will be sure to relay them to you, and afterwards we shall set out on our quest to seek out Kraakers.”

“You are the ones who I should be thanking, adventurers. You brought up this information, and are doing everything within your power to solve both the problems that are in need of attention,” Celestia bowed her head in appreciation. “We’ll be sure to get in touch once we coax some information out of Crackle’s buddy. But we’ve really got to get going now, the matter is pretty urgent,” Screw Loose piped up. “Oh, but won’t you stay for a banquet? I could have the royal hall set up in half an hour…” “No thank you, Princess. The Skit Tree fed us with some really feisty crumpets. As such, we’ll be off now,” Crackle moved closer to the barrel-clad pony while he turned down the hospitable offer, letting Screw Loose hop onto his back before taking off. “Farewell, adventurers! Good luck on your quest!” the alicorn waved her hoof as the pair landed next to the very tree they appeared by, exchanged some hushed phrases and vanished.

“Uh, Your Highness, what do you make of it?” the captain broke the awkward silence that ensued. “Well, I’m not sure, but very perspective of it being possible is quite horrifying. We are in no state to fend off Discord. Fortunately, there’s a spell I can perform that will inform me of the state of chaos in Equestria… I have to admit it was quite careless of me to not use it to routinely monitor chaos levels over the years. It’s a very long and complex ritual, please make sure that I am not disturbed.” The guards nodded in unison. “I shall notify you of the obtained results once the procedure is complete.”

The three armor-clad ponies left the Princess among her impressive private library and the most exquisite magic ingredients known to ponydom, guarding the entrance to her chambers and granting her the privacy and concentration she needed. In spite of the emergency, Celestia did not neglect her basic responsibilities – the sun gave way to the moon, and then the day took over once more. The crack between the door and the floor revealed bombastic flashes and showers of sparks, apparently determining the chaos level of the entirety of Equestria was a very daunting task. Eventually, a hushed creak of the door revealed the Princess’s face, her eyes sunken and filled with fear, and the guards didn’t need to ask about the outcome…