Life as Humans

by CoolioBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Original Character, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3293

The mane 6 and background ponies' human forms, living normal human lives and tackling various friendship and personal problems.

The ponies' everyday lives if they were humans. Each couple of chapters is based on a different character. For example, first few is Derpy, next up is Rainbow Dash, then Fluttershy, etc. You get it. In this fanfic, they never WERE ponies and never WILL BE ponies. That's the point. I want to see what the outcome is if they are all human with the same personalities and such as on the show. Their full names won't be "Twilight Sparkle" or "Rainbow Dash" because that would be unrealistic. Those will just be their nicknames. Anyways, enjoy, and please comment, it's what motivates me to keep writing.

Published 2014-02-21 15:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-25 03:41:48 UTC

Pilot

Author's Note

The first couple of chapters is Derpy oriented, then we will move onto some different characters. We will return to Derpy at some point, though!
Please comment and tell me what you think, it's what motivates me to keep writing.

Pilot

Pilot Chapter

“Have fun at school!” Derpy called out to her 11 year old daughter, Dinky, who was running across the street, towards the school bus. Well, her real name was Donna, not Derpy. That was just a nickname only her friends called her.
“And you have fun at work, Mom!” Dinky called back. She got in the school bus and took a seat next to her friend. Derpy waved at her daughter as the school bus drove away. She turned and walked back inside the house, closing the door behind her.

She was still in her pajamas. Looking up at the clock, Derpy realized she was going to be late if she didn’t hurry up. She went up the stairs and into her bedroom. After getting dressed in her grey work clothes, she transitioned to the bathroom. She examined her 27 year old self in the mirror.

Her flowing, blond hair needed combing. She told herself she needed to work out more, but that wasn’t true. Derpy was already very slim. An attractive woman in most peoples’ eyes. As she ran the comb across the length of her hair, she stared into her own eyes. Her left eye seemed to be looking at her nose, while her right eyes was facing the opposite direction.

“I doubt they’ll ever be able to fix them” she sighed to herself. People told her that they were part of who she was, that it was what made her special. That’s why people called her Derpy. She had derpy eyes.

After she was finished combing her hair, she brushed her teeth, making sure they were extra sparkly white. After all, today was a special day. It’s been exactly one year since Derpy and the Doctor started dating. His name was really George, but people called him Doc because he was a big fan of Doctor Who and bore many similarities to his character. He even had a british accent. Derpy remembered their first date well.

Derpy hired a babysitter to watch Dinky for the night. They had a fancy dinner at the Iron Rose, which was an italian eatery downtown. After the meal, they went to see the play Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare. Derpy loved everything about the Doctor. His british accent, his great sense of humor, his affection for her and Dinky. Not to mention he was also very handsome.

Derpy smiled. These memories always put her in a good mood. Derpy walked downstairs, now fully prepared for work. She donned her cap and slung her grey mail bag over her shoulder. Being a mailwoman didn’t pay much, but Derpy didn’t mind. It was enough to afford a comfortable life for Dinky and herself. She stepped out the door, then closed and locked it. She dropped the key into her pocket. She got in her car. Starting the ignition, she stepped on the gas pedal and drove to work. Although she loved her job, Derpy couldn’t wait to finish work and go on her anniversary date with the Doctor.

__ __ __ __ __
“Thanks for the package, Donna!” an elderly lady said to Derpy. “I hope it’s a birthday present from my son.”
“Whatever it is, I hope you enjoy it, Mrs. Jones.” Derpy said to the lady. Mrs. Jones thanked Derpy again and went back inside her home.

Derpy smiled. This was what she loved the most about her job, talking to the people on her delivery route. She checked her watch.
12:21 AM.
“Dinky probably just finished eating her lunch,” she thought to herself. “I guess I should eat mine, too.”

She sat in her car and took out a plastic Ziploc bag which contained her most favourite food of all time. A couple minutes later, she had finished eating the last blueberry muffin. Now full, she put the empty plastic bag away.

She only had a couple hours left until she was done with her route. She pressed the gas pedal and moved on to the next house. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. This went on until around 2:30. When she dropped off the last letter, she returned to the post office.

The machine made a clicking noise as Derpy swiped her time card. Suddenly, her watch started beeping. “I guess this means it’s time to pick Dinky up from school.” Derpy said to herself as the exited the post office and got in her car.

Derpy thought she’d surprise Dinky with a muffin, so on her way to the school, she stopped at the Sugarcube Corner, the highest ranking bakery in town. A small bell jingled as she opened the door and walked inside. The interior of the Sugarcube Corner was cozy. There were multiple small tables, all with people sitting around them, talking and enjoying their food. Derpy walked up to the counter and rung the call bell.

A few seconds later, someone appeared on the other side of the counter. She was average height, and was wearing a pink T-Shirt with 3 balloons on it, two blue and one yellow. She wore light purple jeans that were rolled up above her knees. Her curly hair was dyed a medium shade of pink. Although she was about the same age as Derpy, she looked and acted as if she was still a teenager.

“Hey, Pinkie.” Derpy said to the pink girl.
“Howdy, Derpy! How are you doing? Have you finished your route yet? Have you picked up Dinky? How is she?” Pinkie asked Derpy.
Derpy had become accustomed to Pinkie’s non-stop stream of questions.

“Hi, good, yes, no, good.” Derpy said to Pinkie.
“The usual?” Pinkie then asked Derpy.
“Yeah, but make it a double,” she told Pinkie. “And quickly too, Dinky’s waiting for me.” she added.
“Okie, dokie, lokie!” Pinkie said in a high pitched voice.

She picked up four muffins and put them in a paper bag, handing it to Derpy.
“That’ll be three ninety-nine!” she told Derpy. Derpy reached into her bag and took out her credit card. She swiped it in the machine and punched in her PIN code. Thanking Pinkie, she walked out of the building. She got in her car and made her way towards Dinky’s school.

She smiled and thought to herself,
“I successfully completed my mail route and bought muffins for Dinky. I’m about to pick her up and drop her off at her favourite babysitter, Cadence’s house, so I can go on a date with the most wonderful man in the entire universe, the Doctor! Nothing could ruin this perfect day.”

She was proven wrong by the bus that crashed into her car.

Hospital

Author's Note

Please note: I have changed Dinky's age to 11! Sorry, this one's a bit shorter than the last one. This concludes our Derpy saga FOR NOW, as we will move on to some different characters.

Hospital

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The first thing Derpy noticed was the beeping. The non stop beeping. It was music in its own way. Derpy groaned. From head to toe, she ached. She had an intense headache. She opened her eyes and tried to move. The pain was too much, and she gave up trying. She examined her surroundings.

To her right was a nightstand, on top of which stood a transparent vase filled with pink roses. She figured she was on a bed. To her left was a couch. Occupying it was the Doctor and Dinky. Dinky was asleep, leaning on the Doctor, using his arm as a pillow. Derpy watched as her chest rose and fell in sync with her breathing. The Doctor looked worried as he was staring at the wall.

The Doctor looked at Derpy and saw her watching. A smile crept on his face. Gently, he ruffled Dinky’s blond hair, waking her. She looked up at the Doctor, then at her mother. Her face was engulfed by an enormous smile as she ran to Derpy’s bed.

“Mommy! You’re okay! You got in an accident, and Doc got a call while he was at work, and he came to pick me up from school, and we came the the hospital, and we were worried, but the nurse said you were going to be okay, but we were still worried, and then we-”

Dinky was interrupted by the Doctor.
“We’re just glad you’re alright.” he told Derpy. “The nurse said it wasn’t serious, since the bus crashed into the right side of your car, while you were sitting on the left. She says you’re lucky nothing was broken. Just minor cuts and bruises, and they needed to stitch your arm. You’ll be fine.” he said reassuringly.

“Oh, and one of your friends told me she’d come by and see you. She should be here any second, now. “ the Doctor told her.

Dinky started telling Derpy about her day.
“Then, we did a math quiz. I’m pretty sure I got at least an A minus.” Ditzy was saying as the door opened.
“Hey, Fluttershy.” Derpy greeted the woman that entered.

“Hi, Derpy.” the woman said. She was wearing a light pastel yellow sweater with a low collar that exposed her shoulders. Printed on the front were three pink butterflies. Her blue jeans were a bit too long for her. Her hair was dyed a very light shade of pink. The way she stood was screaming shy. In fact, that’s why her friends gave her the nickname of Fluttershy. She was very shy, and had a tendency to start fluttering with her hands whenever she was nervous.

Right now, she seemed relieved.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re alright, Derpy.” she said in a very soft voice. “Look, I brought you and Dinky a little something.”
Only then did Derpy notice the pet carrier Fluttershy was holding behind her back. She put it on the floor and opened it. Out came a grey cat with black stripes. It meowed.

Derpy was at a loss for words.
“F-for us? You’re serious?” she finally managed to ask Fluttershy.
“Well, this little guy showed up at my animal shelter about a week ago. Nobody wanted him, so I thought I’d give him to you and Dinky.” Fluttershy replied.

Dinky just stared at the cat. Finally, she walked up to the cat and patted its head. The cat seemed to like Dinky and started purring.

“Isn’t that just the cutest thing ever?” the Doctor asked no one in particular.
“It sure is…” Derpy said to him.

“Well, it’s been nice seeing you guys. I have to get back to my animal shelter. I hope you get better soon.” Fluttershy said. “Keep the pet carrier. Oh, and the cat’s name is Leo. Have fun!”

She left the room.
“Here, Mom,” Dinky said as she lifted Leo up to Derpy.
“Hi, little guy! My name’s Derpy, this is Dinky, and that’s the Doctor. We’re your new family, and we’re gonna take extra good care of you!” she said to the cat. The Doctor just smiled.

“Well, we’d better get going. It’s getting kind of late, and Dinky still has school tomorrow. We’ll come pick you up tomorrow. Can Dinky stay with me for the night?” he asked Derpy, and was answered by a nod.

“Bye, Mom!”
“Bye!”

The two people Derpy loved the most left and closed the door behind them.
All of a sudden, Derpy was sad. She couldn’t go on her anniversary date with the Doctor. Sure, they could postpone it, but it just wouldn’t be the same. She let the rhythmic beeping of the heart rate monitor put her to sleep. She dreamt of muffins.

All the way across town, a bloodcurdling scream could be heard.

(Hehehe, you will only know the source of the scream next chapter. I know, I'm evil >:3)

Maniac

Author's Note

IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ THIS:
To all the people that read the pilot chapter when it was first released, you might remember me mentioning Dinky was 7 years old. I decided to change that to 11 years of age. This chapter is longer, please tell me what you think. :)

Maniac

The man started laughing maniacally. He was slowly moving towards her, a butcher knife in hand. The woman’s back met the wall. The insane man, now laughing uncontrollably, was getting closer and closer. Her heart pounded. She knew no one was out this late, especially in this part of town, but she had to try.
“Help! Somebody help me please!” she screamed.

Dash was taking her usual late night jog around town when she heard the scream. She stopped running and looked around.

“What was that sound?” she thought. Then she heard it again. She started jogging towards the source of the sound. After a while, she realized it was screaming. She couldn’t make out words, but she knew that someone was in trouble. Someone needed her help.

By the time she reached the alleyway, she could hear a man’s laughter. It sounded like a mental asylum. She looked into the alleyway, and a horrendous sight met her eyes.

A man holding a knife had pinned a screaming woman to the wall. It looked like he was about to slash at her. Dash knew she had to act fast. She started sprinting towards the man.

The insane man heard Dash’s footsteps. By the time he turned to look at her, she had tackled him to the ground. Adrenaline surging through her veins, she grabbed the knife with her left hand, and smashed her other fist into the man’s face. While he was distracted by the pain, she pulled the knife from his grasp and threw it aside.

With one final blow to the temple, he was knocked out.

The woman looked at Dash. Her messy hair was dyed the colours of a vibrant rainbow. She was thin, and was wearing a sky blue hoodie and dark blue sweatpants. She was unsure of what to say.

“Thanks for saving my life!” she said to Dash. “I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t show up when you did!”

“So, what happened? I mean, I get that some dude was trying to chop you into pieces, but why?” Dash asked in her coarse, but sweet voice. The woman scratched her blonde head.
“Well, I was working late today. While I was walking home, I decided to take a shortcut and go through this alleyway. About halfway in, this, this maniac jumped out from behind a garbage can and attacked me. What he was doing there, I don’t know. Quite frankly, I don’t care.”

“We’d better call 911.” Dash said as she took out her phone and dialed.

“911, please state your emergency.” a female voice said over the phone.
“There’s been an attempted murder in an alleyway connecting Rayburn and Brock street. I’ve knocked the criminal out, and the target is alright.” Dash said into the receiver.

“Please stand by while help arrives.” the operator said as she hung up.

Dash and the woman made their way towards Rayburn street.

“What was your name, again?” Dash asked the woman.
“Oh, it’s Claire. And yours is?” the woman responded.
“You can call me Dash.” she told Claire.

The next couple of minutes passed in silence. Finally, a police car stopped in front of them, and two police officers got out. One of them had a few questions for Claire and Dash, while the other went to retrieve the unconscious man. The questions were mostly for Claire, but Dash was also asked how she took down the attacker.

Once he was done asking questions, the officer handcuffed the man and carried his body to the car. He opened the door and put him on the back seat. Both of the officers got into the car and started the engine. The driver pulled down the window and said,
“You two be careful, now! I want you to go home and get some rest, both of you. We might need you in court for this man’s trial, so be prepared for that.”

He pulled the window back up. One final wave and they were gone.

“Well,” Dash said. “Just don’t get attacked by any more murderers, and you’ll be fine. Just in case you do, you can find me at the Wonderbolts Academy gym.” Dash handed Claire a piece with an address on it. Claire read it, but when she looked back up, Dash was already halfway across the street.

“Woah, that girl is fast.” she thought to herself. She, too, turned and left.

The next day was uneventful for Dash. She unlocked her gym, the Wonderbolts Academy. She went to see her friend Derpy in the hospital. She had lunch with Fluttershy. She spent a couple of hours exercising in her gym. After that, it was closing time. She locked up and went home to her apartment.

“Hey, Scoots!” she greeted her younger sister. “Did you have fun at your Crusaders meeting?”
A young girl wearing an orange shirt ran up to Dash and gave her a hug.
“Hi, Sis. I had lots of fun!” she said. Dash smiled and ruffled her messy hair, which was dyed a medium shade of purple. Dying your hair ran in the family. Dash’s mother’s hair was blue, while his father’s was green. Scoots pulled away, limped to the couch and sat down. She pressed a button on the TV remote and the television came to life.

Scoots crashed her scooter and broke her leg a year ago. It had left her with a limp. That didn’t stop her from being the best athlete in her grade, though. Dash smiled.

She loved Scoots very much. She was grateful that her parents had sent Scoots to live with her. Dash was a great big sister. If Scoots needed something, or just wanted to be with her, no matter how busy she was, Dash was always there for her. Since Dash wasn’t always needed, and Scoots was a responsible girl, Dash trusted her enough to let her stay at home alone sometimes. Dash went to her laptop and spent the rest of the night browsing Reddit.

Just before she got into bed, she got a voicemail.

Ms. Rachel Dresden, your presence as witness is requested at the trial of Victor Sidorov, tomorrow at eight o’clock, in the Justice Court downtown. Please be there a half hour early.

The next morning at seven thirty, Dash showed arrived at the court. She and Claire were both witnesses. At eight o’clock, the trial started. When it was her turn, Claire told the jury exactly what happened. After that, Dash explained how she saved Claire.

“So, I was taking my evening jog, when I heard a scream. I followed the sound and found Victor with a knife in his hand, pinning Claire to the alleyway wall. So I tackled him the ground, took his knife and knocked him out. Then, I called 911.” Dash explained.

After a while, the jury had come to a decision.
“The Jury finds Mr. Victor Sidorov not guilty by reason of insanity. He shall be sent to the nearest psychiatric hospital.”

After the trial, Dash said goodbye to Claire and left. At three o’clock, she picked Scoots up from school. They went home and spent the rest of the afternoon playing on their Playstation together.

She was having a good day, and Dash was happy.