Beauty and Her Spike: An Epic Twist

"Wait, who are you?" Spike asked, for there was someone at the door. A 16 year-old teen, brown hair and brown eyes, a Master Assassin hoodie, a Timey-Wimey shirt, and dark skinny jeans were the clothing he was wearing at that moment. As footwear he had a pair of black Hi-Top Converse. His face looked a bit like this:

"I am Zarathos," the teen answered. He also had a pizza box in his hands.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to help you."

"With what?"

"Exactly."

Neither said nothing for a couple of seconds until Zarathos spoke up: "May I come in? I'm sure some food could get us talking."

The drake had nothing to say. Since he's a stranger, why not? he thought to himself.

"Sure, make yourself at home."

The human entered and set the pizza box on the table. Father wasn't joking when  he said it was a library.

"What do you have there?" Spike asked.

"A pizza," Zarathos answered.

"What kind of pizza?"

"Half-meat lover's,  half-gemstones. Two-cheese pizza as well."

"Anything to drink?"

"I brought Sweet Apple Acres' Cider-Flavored Fizz,"

"What's that?"

"It's basically a soda that tastes like apple cider."

"Then let's get to it!"

As Zarathos handed Spike a slice of the gemstones half, he asked: "Why are you sad?"

"I asked a mare out, and she said no," Spike answered.

"Seriously?"

"Why did you ask me?"

"I was sent here by my father, only to find out that a purist mare rejected you just because you were a dragon."

"And why were you sent her by your father?"

"It all started when..."

* * * * *

Rosarito, Baja California, Mexico

April 12th, 2014

5:55 A.M.

Zarathos was sitting on a couch in his parents' house. The house was a simple one-story place. He was up at that hour since he wanted to catch an 8-hour Doctor Who special. As he was about to grab the remote control, a female voice rung:

"Zary, we're leaving!" Now, you would think that Zar (for short) would get mad at that, but he didn't. It was pretty much a way of feeling special. After all, he would always be her son, as much as she would always be his mother. But who is "she"? It was nothing less than Eris, the Goddess of Chaos. R63 Discord? No, in this case it was Discord's daughter. She was a medium-height woman with grey hair that had black at the tips, striped pants and vest, and had red irises and a yellow sclera just like her father did. She looked a bit like this:

Link to the image.

Why was Eris living on Earth, and also looked like a Human? Answer is pretty simple: she was a Draconequus like her father, however she fell in love with a man called Ding-A-Ling. Time passed by and they decided to marry each other. However, in order to live with Ding-A-Ling on Earth, she had to take the form of a Human. She agreed, and she was able to keep her powers. Now she had a son named after the Angel of Justice, Zarathos.

"Yes, mom."

"Before we leave, remember to do your chores, do not let anyone in besides your friends, and NO magic," said a male voice in an authorative tone. This man was the one and only Ding-A-Ling. He was a tall man with crooked, yellow teeth. His favorite attire would consist on a shirt, some jeans and a cloak.

"Yes father," Zar answered. Zar had a respect for his father. While he would act like an adult towards his father at times, he was your average teen (if you don't count that he prefferred 'father' over 'dad').

"Now if you'll excuse us, your mother and I must be leaving. That couples' cruise is going to leave in three-"

Ding-A-Ling couldn't finish, for his cellphone started ringing. He quickly got it out of his pocket and answered:

"Hello?"

"..." There was a silence which represented what the caller was saying, which only Ding-A-Ling could hear.

"Yes it's me, Ding-A-Ling."

"..."

"What, right now?"

"..."

"You've got to be kidding me, I'm about to go on a vacation cruise with my wife! Can't you just wait until I come back?"

"..."

"It's that urgent, isn't it?"

"..."

"I'll tell you what, I'll send my son over to do the job." Oh shit, Zarathos thought.

"..."

"Yes, he'll be on his way. I'll talk to you later, bye." With that Ding-A-Ling hung up, ending the call immediately.

"Zarathos, we need to talk."

I don't know what the hell will happen, or where the hell will I be sent, but if he doesn't start talking I'm going to blow his god damn head off! Well no, because he is my father, and it would be useless. Besides, it would make me look like Grandmother Nightmare Moon. Zar thought.

"Yes Father?"

"Today, you will be sent on your first mission."

"Really?"

"Yes, and listen carefully: the place where you will be sent is Equestria. It is known for it's harmony, however, there is a dragon you must help. The coordinates are on this sheet of paper, and also the instructions on your mission. If you fail, I'm leaving you without trips to the Call of Duty: Zombies Universe, permission to watch Doctor Who, and without sweets of any kind for the rest of your teenage years."

"With the Master Code, Father?"

"Yes indeed, now if you'll excuse us, we shall take our leave." In a bright light, both Ding-A-Ling and his wife Eris teleported to who knows where.

The Master Code is a code that my Father uses when he decides to punish me. No one knows the Master Code, not even Mother. Zarathos thought. Well, better get to work.

As he checked the paper his father had given him earlier, he read the following:

Teleport to Ponyville, Equestria.

1. Turn on the Power Switch that's in my room (you know, the one that looks like the one that appears in Tranzit), for it's the only way to turn the White Door Portal on.

2. In my bedroom (after the Power Switch is turned on), you will see the portal starting to glowing a dim white. Out of that teleporter an electric piano will appear. Play the Doctor Who theme song (the 1963 version) until the portal reaches its full power (the way to know it's reached full power is when the portal lets out the TARDIS landing sound effect).

3. Mention the place you're headed to (in this case Ponyville, Equestria). Once you've mentioned it, the portal will glow a bright white.

4. Cross the portal. If you do it right, the text on this sheet of paper will rewrite itself and then you'll be given the next instruction.

Once he reached Ponyville, he checked the paper. This time it said the following:

Find Spike the Dragon.

*****

"That led me here, and if i'm not wrong the paper will show me the next step," Zarathos finished. After that, he grabbed the piece of paper that would guide him in his mission from his pocket. It now said:

Make sure Spike accepts himself and that if someone he loves doesn't accept him completely, then he/she isn't worth it.

"Listen Spike, I know Rarity said 'no' to you just because you were a dragon, but it doesn't mean you should turn into a pony to get her to love her. If she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she isn't worth your time," Zarathos said.

"But I love her..." Spike answered.

"I know Spike, but it's true. My father accepted my mother for who she was, and vice versa."

"Really?"

"Really. In fact, they're still married and if they didn't love each other, then I wouldn't be here right now."

"I guess you're right Zarathos."

"Now, I'll tell you what: I will send you on a vacation throughout space and time. You'll have LOTS of fun, I assure!"

"That sounds great! Thanks Zarathos!"

"Your welcome. Now, I must see what is my next task at hand." Checking the piece of paper, it now said:

Make Rarity learn that love is heart to heart.

"Where does Rarity live?"

"She lives in Carrousel Boutique, why?"

"I must talk to her."

"Okay. Where will I be sent?" Spike asked with eagerness in his voice.

"You will be sent to the Zombies Dimension!" Zar said with cheer.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Nah, just kidding. You will be sent to Canterlot to spend some time with your mother and your aunt."

"How do you know they live there?"

"I found out that Celestia ruled this land along with her sister by a good citizen named Lyra, although she scared the shit out of me."

"Ohhhhhh."

"Off you go Spike! There are two Alicorns that are waiting to see you!"

"Thanks for all of this Zarathos! You're the best!"

"Your welcome."

As Spike left, Zar asked himself:

Where do we begin?