This is Vinyl Tap
This is Vinyl Tap
Load Full StoryThere was one name in the Equestrian music scene a pony couldn’t go long without hearing. Vinyl Tap was taking Equestria by storm! This rock group could be seen on shirts and paraphernalia all over the land. The joke going around was that parents were in danger of going broke buying their fillies every piece of merchandise possible of the group. It was hard to believe that even lunchboxes existed for a group of five that sometimes had members in rehab but that was the reality of modern day Equestria.
Vinyl Scratch aka DJ Pon3 had her hooves full endorsing this band. As the manager and spokespony of the band she could sometimes barely sleep without the paparazzi trying to knock down her door. Thankfully she found ways to evade them for various lengths of time. At least the position paid very well.
Things weren’t all honky dory though. The paparazzi were actually a very minor issue for Vinyl Scratch. The worst issues for the band came from within. One particular member of this group was proving to be a problem for the towns they toured. He had quite a history. The earth pony lead singer Slushie Lush was a partying mad pony if there ever was one and stories of his antics were legendary.
He once put cherry bombs in several of the lavatories of the Canterlot Grand Regency hotel. It was pretty amazing to see how he could destroy the plumbing infrastructure of a city that had welcomed him with open hooves, but he was simply a glutton for entertainment. That act had almost caused the band to be put on Canterlot’s blacklist save for the fact that they had some pretty good PR agents and lawyers.
Another notorious incident was the mailbox destruction spree the band had carried out one night after liberal consumption of cider. They were supposedly going sober when this happened. Cherry bombs were placed in dozens of mailboxes in Phillydelphia as the laughing band rode away in their wagon. Slushie fell off the wagon (as he frequently did) and was arrested that night. It took the other band members over ten minutes to realize he had fallen off, as they presumed from the silence that he had just passed out. Fortunately Vinyl was able to get him an excellent attorney and only a slap on the wrist for his antics that night.
Slushie wasn’t exactly the role model parent ponies would ideally want for the fillies and colts if they knew better. Nevertheless he was a role model thanks to media promotion. The media also did Vinyl Tap favors by making concerned anti-VT social groups look like fringe elements. Slushie was routinely considered the favorite pony of the band by the media and polls taken in Equestria. He basically was the band in the eyes of some fans. There were even rumors of a pending deal for an upcoming sitcom called Slushie Knows Best on the Empty V channel.
That still didn't change the fact that Slushie Lush was on a collision course with reality. The turning point for the worst for the band came during a tour performance in Canterlot. In the middle of the act Slushie declared amid the noise that he would do anything for his fans' enjoyment.
"You all wanna have a good time and I know it! So do I and I'll stop at nothing! Request a song, any song. Throw something at me! Anything!" Slushie challenged.
Just then a fan threw a vampire fruit bat at the band and Slushie bit into it thinking it was chocolate. The stunned crowd witnessed the on stage decapitation of a live bat before their eyes. There was no mistaking now for Slushie that it was a real bat and there was a gory mess on the stage and his mouth. Security rushed to the scene and pulled the curtain closed but it was too late. Several audience members fainted and required medical assistance while some of the younger audience members needed immediate psychological counseling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This incident was the last straw for Vinyl Tap. The risk of public backlash was at a threatening point for the band’s popularity and finances. Though the band members in general were reckless party animals, Slushie himself was just too much. DJ Pon3 was having the fight of her life doing PR damage control from the incident. The rest of the band had a talk with her and together they determined that Slushie should be put on probation and another lead singer would replace him until he (hopefully) went to rehab and self improvement classes.
“What do you want me to do Vinyl, crochet class? I ain’t got the hooves for it.” Slushie asked with sarcastic displeasure.
“Whatever ends this out of control behavior Slushie Lush. We’re facing multiple lawsuits due to your latest incident and I’m unable to pull strings the way you count on. Another incident will bankrupt us. I can’t risk it.” Vinyl Scratch snapped.
“Sign this if you only want a six month suspension. Otherwise you’re fired.” Vinyl added while levitating an official looking document in front of Slushie.
“You can’t do this to me! I’m the center stage stallion. Equestria loves me! LOVES ME!” Slushie pleaded pitifully.
“And you can’t do this to us. I’ve made this decision for the good of the entire band including you. Just do the right thing. Please just do the right thing.” Vinyl said with authority. Slushie complied with extreme reluctance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that evening a depressed Slushie Lush took up residence at a cider bar in Canterlot and got buzzed out. “What am I gonna do? That blasted DJ Pon3 axed my career. I don't know if I can make a comeback. Who does she think she is? I AM Vinyl Tap.” He thought to himself.
He made the weirdest decision a sentient pony could make. Perhaps it was the cider. He would go on another wild night of pranks to purposely get arrested and put in Celestia’s dungeon prison. Free meals, a place to sleep, and no worries about money would be his to have.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first order of business for Slushie was to figure out just what kind of mischief to carry out. A prank itinerary was such a novel yet genius idea he thought. He would run from door to door ringing the bells and disappearing. Then he would throw water balloons at passerbies from a building top. No, doorbell ringing isn't that thrilling. He would just skip to the water balloons part and think of something to do afterwards later. "Never mind an itinerary, some of the best pranks come on the spot." Slushie thought.
Slushie then made his way to the top of a hotel building. It was only a few stories high, but it would suffice. His first victims were a loving couple too intrigued by each other to notice the falling ordinance about to hit them. SPLASH. The mare was a bit shocked by the obscenities that came from the mouth of the stallion, but she had quite the same words in her mind. Slushie ducked down laughing.
“Whoever did this is dead! Well, unless he’s royally connected or something.” The angry stallion continued yelling followed by another obscenity or two.
“Listen to him rant and rave.” Slushie said in a low tone still chuckling.
He evasively went to the other side of the building overlooking another street to target another victim.
In being too eager for another laugh, he didn’t think to be selective of a victim and just threw another water balloon at the first pony walking by. It turned out to be a school age earth pony colt who walked unusually slowly.
Slushie realized what he had done just as he let go of the balloon. For some reason slightly uncharacteristic of him he had a second thought about his action.
“Watch out!” he shouted at his intended target.
It was already too late. The young pony was splashed in the water balloon explosion. He stopped and seemingly knelt in place where he had been hit.
Slushie Lush watched for a minute and wondered with a sense of guilt rarely known to him why the young pony didn’t move. Unbeknownst to him the main reason the kid was stopped in place was due to being cold after getting soaked.
Slushie subconsciously raced down to the street below to assist the poor kid he had just targeted. He couldn’t figure out why he was doing this and even he was baffled.
When he reached the road below the unfortunate colt was still there visibly shivering.
“Are you OK kid?” Slushie asked while still panting from sprinting down a couple flights of stairs.
“F-fine I think. C-cold.” He said.
Slushie Lush gave the kid his jacket and walked him inside the lobby of the hotel.
“Thanks mister.” The colt said.
“I’m sorry. I.. I actually caused this. It was supposed to be a prank to cure my depression and maybe get me a meal ticket. Well, you might not know what I mean by that second thing but I’m so sorry.” Slushie apologized.
“I wouldn’t hold it against you. Hey aren’t you… Slushie Lush from Vinyl Tap? Ohmygosh!” The kid said.
“Yes, I am. I’m also on suspension from doing stupid pranks and things like I did to you just now. What’s your name?” Slushie confessed then asked.
“Storm Glider. I know the name sounds like I'd be fast though I can’t live up to my name because of a bad leg injury I got a couple years back. That’s why I move so slowly.” Storm replied.
Guilt overran Slushie in a way he couldn’t fathom. He had just attacked a disabled filly and almost left him cold. He now understood that Vinyl Scratch was absolutely right to suspend him and he really needed to change his ways.
“Y’want some hot cocoa kid? It’ll be my treat.” Slushie offered.
“Well, ok Mr. Lush. That sounds good.” Storm replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slushie and Storm sat down and chatted over a cup of hot cocoa. Both of them learned quite a bit about one another and enjoyed the stories.
“You know Mr. Lush, I was a bit of a Vinyl Tap fan. Now I’m really a fan knowing you and learning that you want a new life now. Can I get an autograph?” Storm related.
“You got it. Absolutely.” Slushie answered.
“And is there a chance Vinyl Tap needs an extra drummer? I can kinda drum.” Storm said.
“Oh, I’ll just have to ask our manager Vinyl Scratch. Hopefully I can get over my suspension smoothly and see about it.” Slushie said somewhat jokingly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was thus a change of plans for Slushie Lush. Rather than give up on it all and purposely face the dungeon, he became friend and mentor to Storm Glider. During his suspension time Slushie rehabilitated himself easily knowing he was making a difference for the kid he had given trouble.
When the suspension period was over for Slushie, Vinyl Scratch and the rest of the band met Storm and became friendly acquaintances. The others were surprised at the great progress Slushie made and amazed to see he was now basically the straight pony of the group.
“I’m proud of you Slush. I did have some doubts, but hey.” Vinyl remarked.
"Thanks DJ. I now have to admit we're a band. It ain't just about me." Slushie confessed.
When the time came for the reunified band to perform, the lineup was pleasantly surprising. The announcer picked up the microphone and spoke.
“Fillies and gentlecolts this is Vinyl Tap! Today featuring guest drummer Storm Glider!”
The crowd cheered. Slushie, Storm, Vinyl, and the rest of the band smiled and the music commenced.
Author's Note
Another submission for EQD's WTG. This week's prompt is "A new singing group has taken over Canterlot! Unfortunately one of their members is causing all sorts of trouble!"
Yeah, it is kind of a parody of party animal music stars who are inexplicably role models for kids. Though I gave it a moral lesson and happy finish.
