Chapters Chapter 1: The Ponies [Edited]
I live on Earth. I go to school, go home, eat chips, go to school, go home, eat chips and I do this over and over again every single day. I would talk about how I have no family or friends, but no-one cares. I don’t want sympathy, and I don’t need it.
But, one day it all changed. My life was still terrible, but at least I didn’t have to live with the idiots I already knew. Today, on the 15th May 2015, I vanished off the face of the Earth, or at least from what I could tell, I don’t know if I'm insane, in a coma or- nope, I’m not gonna reference “Life On Mars”.
Well, it just so happened that I was walking through the park one day, it was quiet and peaceful and away from everyone I knew. I couldn't stress today, for I had had a pretty good day, considering. And by that I mean that usually, I get beaten up at school, shouted at by my carers and my friends all start being pathetic. See, that’s what happens, really. You get together for a few hours right? Then after a while, you joke around, are a bit silly and eventually take it too far and one of you eventually gets hurt. For me, it’s emotionally and physically.
Well, as I strolled slowly through the park to widen my experience of solitude, I was surprised to hear someone talking behind me. For a moment, I didn’t realize I was the one being threatened. Yup, see at this moment, some nut job had decided to mug me. I turned around and told him to get lost, and that he wasn't gonna ruin my day, so he punched me in the face as I tried to turn around, he wrestled me to the ground quite quickly and I fought back hard.
After a couple of seconds, he pulled out a pocket knife and lowered it to my throat. I kicked him in the baby-maker and he cursed. He then proceeded to stab me, which was so far, not the most painful thing I had ever experienced. No that was when my mother abandoned me when I was seven. I still remember that.
Anyway, he laughed and took most of my possessions. I couldn't see him anymore, but I knew it was too late for anyone to notice I was dying. They would be too busy having a better life than me.
As I quietly slipped away, I laughed, for I could never bring myself to kill myself. This crackpot had done it for me. Thanks. However, before I died, I floated towards a shape, what looked to be a dog of some sort. Nope, some sort of horse? I don’t know, but it was dark blue and then it spoke.
‘You have died.’ It said.
‘Aah, no shit my dear Sherlock.’ I replied. I don’t know who this was, or even what this was, but by the look of things it did not seem to be very happy I swore. I find it funny that my one good friend Casey said that it is wrong to swear, and some people find it offensive. Surely though, if I'm trying to be offensive, it’s in the right context?
‘Do you wish to live again, in a nicer world?’
‘What? You mean you just changed the Earth?’ What the hell is she going on about? Yes, ‘she’ it was a female voice, or that of a boy with no balls.
‘No. This place is called Equestria, and is filled with nicer, much less aggressive beings.’
‘Yes.’ I said, ‘Anywhere I better than Earth, if I get to live a good life, please do it, and if this is a joke, I will sock you one.’ Just to be sure, you know?
Suddenly, and quite painfully, I emerged from the darkness, and… well, it wasn't dark; it was kind of white and black, at the same time. Like there was everything and nothing all together.
Oh well. I gathered my wits and watched as I floated down into a field. There were some others too, two boys, all my age, that being sixteen if you hadn't gathered. Anyhow, I dropped quickly on to the field; it was sprayed lightly with water and smelled of fresh wheat, like that of a farm.
One of the boys walked up to me, and stuck out his hand.
‘Red, nice to meet you, do you know where we are?’
‘I don’t give a damn, as long as it’s better than Earth.’ I spoke rather timidly. Just then, the other boy vanished. Red gave a startled whimper as he bumped backwards into me. ‘Hey dude, watch where you’re going!’
Red turned around and apologized. I shrugged him off and disregarded it. I pointed over to a hill, where I could have sworn I heard a faint noise.
‘Do you hear that?’ I asked. Red shook his head and pointed in the other direction.
‘Well, if you’re going that way, I’ll see you later, I'm going this way, and I can hear people this way.’ He finished. Red began to walk off in his set path, while I cursed again. I kicked the floor, expecting everything to be done for me, just because I was bored, but it didn’t happen, so I began to walk.
As I walked, I remember the park and the mugger and me getting stabbed, despite the fact this happened not ten minutes ago. I arrived at the top of hill after trying to piece together the parts of the blackness and the mysterious figure I could remember. I looked down to see a village. I could see small shapes, which I assumed were people, and there were loads of markets and carts and stuff like that.
Across from me, I could hear some female voices, so I headed in that direction, but as I cambered over a small hill, like, literally it was just like a wall of mud, I saw about every color in the rainbow, but mainly blue, as I was knocked to the ground. I turned on the ground, rubbing my face.
‘Jesus Christ, you freaking idiot, you just broke my God damn nose!’ I screamed. Of course, whoever had hit me didn’t break my nose, they missed my nose completely. I got up, aching all over as I opened my eyes and peered towards the stranger, who was blue, and crawling on all fours…
No, they were standing! As this stranger came close, it examined me, and asked something, but I was too disturbed by the being to hear it properly. It was a horse, a small horse, most likely a pony, but nevertheless, it was blue, and the mane, it was multi-colored.
‘What’s a God?’ she asked. Again, female voice, obviously, since they were when I couldn't see them.
‘No-one gives a damn, and you’re a horse!’
‘I’m a pony, you moron!’
I got up and pushed her. She backed up and sniggered, ‘Feisty little one aren't we?’ she said, sarcastically.
Right then, I was abnormally astonished to witness five more coming around the hill. All eyes on me and my eyes on each of one them separately. I looked back to the blue one, who I labelled as weirdo, because of her mane.
‘Alright, just what the hell is this?’ I asked.
There was a purple one, with a deeper mane and a horn and… wait, a horn?
‘This is—‘; I cut her off pretty much immediately.
‘Didn't ask for your input, you demon horse.’ I spat at her, I admit that is was probably not what I should have done, but then again, no-one is ever nice to me, so screw it.
‘I was only trying to—‘, again, really?
‘Zip it! I’m busy talking to this weirdo with five velours in her hair over here.’
At this point, the other four were kind of… well, extremely annoyed and looked like they would be ready to charge any second now. I faced the weirdo again, and rose to my feet.
‘Now, I’ll ask again. Just what the hell is going on here?’
Chapter 2: The Hat [Edited]
Every one of the different and brightly colored ponies stood, looking at me like I had committed a murder. I shrugged and looked at the weirdo again.
‘Well? I’m talking to you, I expect you to answer.’ But she didn’t move, she just froze, like no-one had ever been mean to her or something like that. I mean, not one of them moved, they were just scared I suppose, and damn right they should be.
From behind me I heard an extremely quiet whimper, impossibly quiet, like a mouse trying to quiet. Although, I don’t know why a mouse would try to be quiet, they’re not very smart creatures, and I gathered that neither were these horses.
‘Ain't nobody talks to mah friends like that!’ one of them said quite loudly. I turned around and saw an orange one, with a Stetson, wow, such amaze. She, and I now noticed, and her friends all had stupid little tattoo’s on their butts.
‘Oh? Who asked you Breakback Mountain?’ My god, I'm getting better with my insults aren't I? I laughed and then stared at her blankly, she wasn't joking.
‘If you wanna see tomorrah, you’re gonna apologize now!’ she shouted. Let me take this spare time to describe the rest of them so I won’t have to later. There is a yellow one, a white one and a pink one, oh Christ I would not talk to her.
I laughed again and walked up to the orange horse, who I had labelled cowgirl, c’mon, I couldn't come up with anything too good. I put my face next to hers. ‘That a threat?’ I whispered. To be honest, I didn’t think I was prepared for the response, see, she pushed herself closer to me and gritted her teeth, closely followed by saying ‘Yeah. It is.’
I raised my hand to prod her, but I imagine she mistook it as she punched me with her hoof, she hoofed me? I don’t care, but she knocked me slightly, so I stole her hat.
‘So, you wanna play rough, we’ll play rough.’ Yup, I did just make another movie reference. I then proceeded to tear her hat in two and I did not expect, again, her response. She froze and stared at the shredded hat.
‘Yo, anyone else got a problem?’ I asked. The white one decided to get involved, she looked like a bit of a snotty brat to be honest, I will label her Queen snot.
‘How dare you destroy Applejack’s hat!’ she screamed. Screamed may have been somewhat of a lie, she seemed to cry it more than scream it.
‘Applejack? Wait, you guys have names? Oh damn, this is gonna be rich.’ I laughed yet again.
The purple one joined in, ‘Yes, we have names, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie.’ She spoke, rather firmly.
I continued to laugh and then looked at this Applejack, who was still looking at her hat I had previously torn in half. At this point, a part of me I thought dead surfaced for a millisecond. If not for more, I saw something in her eyes, it could have been tears or something, I don’t know and I don’t really care, but I saw something.
I retraced my steps, or rather my words a few down in the conversation and I shut up. Applejack looked up and she had tears in her eyes. I felt it of the utmost importance that at this very moment I asked…
‘Are you alright?’
I didn’t know what to do, no-one I had ever spoken to or known had broken down before, no-one except… never mind, it doesn't matter.
‘What the hay is wrong with you?! You just destroyed something personal to her and now you’re Mr nice guy?’ The blue one suddenly came back to life and looked at me ferociously. I was now far from all of them. I decided to walk towards Applejack and I picked up the remains of her hat. Everyone looked pretty pissed off, so I quickly handed them over to the white one.
Applejack turned around and walked off. I immediately tried to follow her, but the blue one, which I assigned Rainbow due to obvious reasons, got in my way.
‘Don’t you think you've done enough?’ she pushed me backwards. One by one, the horses, you know I'm gonna call them ponies now. They walked off one after another. Eventually, there was only two left, the yellow one and the blue one, both Pegasus? Pegasi? I don’t care, but the pink one was going to say something, but quickly shut up.
I looked up again as Rainbow walked off. The yellow one, who I can assume is Fluttershy due to her look, tattoo and personality so far, looked at me and whimpered again.
‘What? Don’t look at me you stupid pony!’ which, again I wasn't proud of, but there you go. She whimpered once more and started crying. Then she ran off.
I felt really bad for a split second and then didn’t give a damn again. I ran after the group and Rainbow got in my way again.
‘Just go away!’ she shouted. Pinkie, I can assume the pink one, walked up to me.
‘Don’t suppose you want a tour or anything?’ She looked really sad, her mane was depleted, as I remember earlier she had a really fluffy looking main, she was verging on the look of insanity.
‘Well, I don’t even know where I am, so hell yeah.’ I might as well try to get through this pony infested life as quick as I could.
I followed her to town, she showed me around pretty much quite a lot of it. There was a library, a few stalls that I had seen earlier and I could see a farm in the distance. I decided to ask Pinkie a question.
‘Does anyone you know hate you?’ I asked, comparing the question to the majority of my life.
‘Hate is a strong word... Hey, I don’t even know your name!’ she screamed. Well, there was no way I was going to tell her my real name.
‘I’m not telling you my name Pinkie, just call me…’ Hmmh, no here we go, lemme think of a pony related pun. Well, screw it, I can’t think of a good one. No wait, maybe hoof something or other. Like… Hoof Wing? Well, I thought that was pathetic, but what I said next, I said with a deep regret. ‘Just call me Jack.’
‘Okay, but I know that’s not your name, so it’s gonna bug me, and did you just take that from Applejack?’ she asked. Actually, I did, I couldn't process a name quick enough in my head, so I copied Applejack.
Anyway, I shrugged and we continued on our way. I asked several times if we could go somewhere with less ponies, they are all annoying. Pinkie was talking about some random stuff I didn’t really care for, and eventually I just told her to shut her God damn trap. She frowned, lowered her ears and stopped talking.
‘Oh my god, you actually shut up, thanks.’ Before I could do anything else, some other stupid pony apparently could not see where she was looking. I have assumed by now that apart from Red, there were no other boys in this world. Great, a world full of weirdo's.
Anyhow, this pony was a rather dull grey Pegasus. Oh my god, her eyes, they’re screwed. She stumbled a bit and smiled, a bit like something from a kids cartoon.
‘Hi there, I’m Derpy.’ She spoke excitedly.
I laughed hard, ‘Derpy? Hahaha, you’re such a stupid looking pony, you’re eyes are screwed, you know that?’ Every time I insult someone in this world, a part of me seems to die, but yeah, screw it.
Derpy slumped on the ground and burst into tears. From behind her, a smaller pony emerged, a sister maybe?
‘Mommy?’
Okay, a daughter… Yeah, that’s not funny anymore. I swallowed and ran off in the opposite direction. Pinkie sighed and watched as I just left the scene.
After what seemed like three hundred million years, I found myself walking past a cottage. There were loads of animals and I could hear singing from inside. It seemed to be attached to some sort of giant tree too.
I walked up the gravel path, which I had noticed hurt my feet, and I also noticed that my shoes were no longer on my feet. I continued nevertheless, towards the front door, which was painted a dull pink color. I knocked. I don’t know why I did that, I mean, what would I even do, just take the mess out of more hideous ponies?
Well, it just so happened that when the door opened, the song ended and a feeling of dread landed on my shoulders, for it was Fluttershy who resided here.
She stared at me for about twelve seconds completely frozen and then slammed the door shut and screamed, in a puny voice, for me to go away.
‘Fluttershy, I need to talk to you, now open the door you pathetic excuse for a pony.’ God, did I really need to say that?
All I heard was crying sounds and then it struck me that the only way I was getting in was if I was going to apologize. What a disgusting word. Besides, it’s probably too late to apola… NOPE!
‘Fluttershy… I… I’m sorry.’
She silenced and the door creaked open about an inch, ‘What?’
Author's Note
Okay, so i have taken the comments into my head and merged them with the story, for example, i have stopped the vulgarity, but i kinda based him off me, and im really upset and raged at the minute because of personal reasons, and also, i have stopped him being so much of a dick, my aim now is to make you think he is a changed boy. thanks for reading, and thanks Asmodaeus for being a good reader, there arent many people like you i know, add me on skype if you will. Bye.
Chapter 3: The Jump
Fluttershy stood there for a while and then closed the door again because I didn't speak. I don’t know why, but I really wanted to say sorry. No-one has ever apologized to me, so I never saw it necessary to say sorry to anyone else.
I am going to stop swearing too, it’s bad enough these ponies don’t even know what shit means.
‘Fluttershy, could you let me in for just a moment?’ As I waited, I looked around and saw a bunch of animals on the top of the cottage. There was a rattling noise in the cottage. The animals looked angry. One of them had probably seen my behavior earlier.
‘Err, just a second please…’ Fluttershy made more noises and the door knob turned. The door opened again slightly and she looked at me, oddly, as if he hated me inside, but was too weak to shot it properly.
She opened the door fully and allowed me to enter. I walked in and looked all around; there was a table in the middle of the room and a bunch of counters around a kitchen looking area.
‘Why… Erm, why did you come here?’ she asked.
I didn't know how to start. I wasn't going to ask about Applejack, which could wait. I may as well as her something about her life, it gets the conversation going.
‘Well, Fluttershy, has anyone ever hated you?’ Suddenly, with a look of dreadful fear, she gasped and dropped a plait she was carrying. She looked at me and nodded softly, and then dropped her head and started picking up the item. ‘I've been hated my whole life.’
‘Why?’ she asked rather politely.
‘I don’t know. People on Earth just suck. They are mean to everyone, they’re greedy and selfish and they steal.’
Fluttershy looked frustrated. ‘Well, I’m glad you don’t live there anymore.’ I widened my eyes and she realized what she had just said, ‘well, no, I mean… what I was trying to say is… I… I… please don’t hit me.’
Aww god, I felt sympathy for that, she saw me rip Applejack's hat up and push Rainbow. Yeah, I really need to say something now. ‘I would never hit anyone.’ She panicked for a while, but after hearing those words, she just opened up.
‘I know I did those wicked things, and I am sorry for that. The problem is that I'm not sorry, on Earth that word has died. But yeah, I’m glad I don’t live there anymore, I was even thinking of ki—‘, I can’t say that to a pony can I?
‘Doing what?’ she asked, curiously, and still somehow politely.
‘Ki… It doesn't matter, the point is, I'm glad I'm away from that horrid place.’ Fluttershy smiled and then found it oddly acceptable and necessary to hug me. At that moment, for the first time in my life, someone just hugged me, guaranteed, it was a pony, but still. This is the first person or pony I ever remembered hugging me.
Yeah, okay so this next bit gets way too sappy, and I'm pretty sure it’s happened to all of you reading this. I broke down, right then and there, the waterworks. God, I could have kicked myself, I look like such a…. plank.
As I wept, Fluttershy tried to see my face. She knew I was crying, but she couldn't tell why, neither could I to be honest. I just wanted to hug her for a while; I felt really nice, as if my life had just gone seamlessly better.
Quite suddenly, however, several ponies burst through the door, quite aggressively. The others were there, except Applejack. Rainbow was there, and she didn't seem happy to see me. Yeah, I know, let me go apologize real quickly.
‘Rainbow, I—‘, I tried to speak, but in doing so, she got mega annoyed and hooved me in the face. Everything went grey for a second and I saw Fluttershy run over to Rainbow and they began talking.
As everything came back into focus, I looked at her, and my nose started bleeding. So did the side of my face, Christ, she wasn't holding back… at all… bitch.
‘Rainbow, I want to say sorry about my actions earlier, I… didn't know who you were, you were just some stranger who bumped into me, and I haven’t had a good life and I was—‘, she cut me off, I would have shut her up if what she said hadn't been heart breaking, even for me.
‘It’s Applejack… she…’ Rainbow was on the verge of tears, ‘She’s going to jump! It’s your fault!’ she screamed in my face.
I lowered my head and left the building. I hadn't noticed at this point that Rainbow was now arguing with the others. Anyhow, I headed off to town, I was gonna find wherever she was, but I quickly returned to Fluttershy's cottage.
‘Where is she?’ I asked, and without hesitation, Rainbow answered on top of a place called Point Gorge. I ran off after that, back into town, and I bumped into someone while I looked back. I was going to quietly apologize to the others, but that could wait as I saw who it was I bumped into.
‘You!’ she screamed. It was Derpy. Shit, I forgot by now that I had seriously messed up her day. Damn, it’s still my first day, or rather night; the sun wasn't far from setting.
‘Derpy…’ I whispered. I didn't want to talk to her. I would only mess it up even more, and I did. The moment her daughter appeared again, I broke down again, almost.
‘You hurt my mom, you’re evil!’ screamed her daughter.
‘You’re probably right, I'm sorry, but I can’t be here, I have to go save Applejack.’ I said. She didn't seem to care; she just tried hitting me, as did her mother. I sighed and sat down. I let her beat me up, since it IS what I deserve for being such an asshole towards her.
I looked up only once and saw Derpy’s hoof go back, as if heading for a punch, so I scrunched up my eyes and prepared for the impact, spearing a few tears here and there. Well, I can say that I didn't feel a punch, or a hoof hitting me violently. I opened my eyes, which were flooded and saw Derpy, he hoof gently touching my cheek.
‘Do it. Please.’ I asked. I wanted to be hit. I had been pointlessly mean to these ponies without reason. Well, no, the reason was no-one was ever kind to me, but still, it’s no reason to treat anyone like that.
She simply poked me and nodded, I'm presuming she meant about saving Applejack, she started trotting away, pulling her daughter with her, whispering something.
I got up, shouted sorry once more, and began running again, in the same direction I had been, and then bumped into someone else. There were three small ponies.
‘Applebloom let’s ask him!’
‘Are you crazy, Sweetie Belle, he caused it!’
‘Applebloom, do we have a choice?’
‘No…’
What? Before I could even say a word, one of the three ponies, who was a pasty yellow color grabbed by hand, I'm not sure how though, considering she had a hoof. She pulled me all the way to a small quarry looking area, and on the other side, Applejack was sat on the edge, with her torn hat beside her.
‘Please stranger, I know you made her like this, but please undo it!’ I hadn't noticed it first off, but I did now, and they were crying, all of them. They were red with sadness and being out of breath, they really loved Applejack from what I could tell.
Another second and a tall, deep red stallion came over, eyes ‘a blazing and hoofs ready for action. ‘What did ya do to mah sister?’ he asked, about to punch me. As he did, Applebloom jumped on him.
‘Big Mac, stop please, he’s gonna help us!’ The other two jumped on him, and as he became distracted, I saw a bridge and ran over it, looking at Applejack. She slowly stood up and looked over the side of the cliff.
I got over the bridge and looked as he took her hat with her hoof and rubbed her face on it, wiping away tears. I got within twenty metres of her and shouted her name. She didn’t look at me, but she dropped her hat, and put on hoof over the side. From far in the distance, this Big Mac had pushed off the young ponies and had started to trek across the bridge, only for it to snap immediately.
I got towards her and saw above me that Rainbow had arrived, and was now sing everyone that was going on. ‘Applejack, don’t do it!’ she screamed.
This was to no avail, as Applejack leaned closer over the edge. I sprinted, as hard and fast as I could and have ever done. I don’t know anyone who had killed themselves, and I wasn't about to. I reached out and missed her mane. Applejack let go and tipped off the edge.
Seeing only one solution, and one opportunity, I jumped. As I fell, I felt weird, as though something inside me had started working, and no, it wasn't something sappy like the Grinch or anything, but I felt better.
I fell faster than applejack, and I grabbed her mane. She fought and screamed and told me to get off, but I held her, connected my arms behind her back and closed my eyes. It felt like we were falling really slowly at first, like gravity was broken, but she hit be several time in the face, which caused for me to hold on tighter.
Then, I whispered sorry into her ear as we fell quicker, quicker, faster and suddenly, without warning, which I expected, we hit the ground.
This is not the story of how I die, but more like the story of how I became a very good friend for the first time in my life.
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