Equestriabent

by enigmaMystere

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 4159

Crossover with Homestuck. Characters try to get back home.

Conditions arise that cause two different dimensions, vastly different, to cross inhabitants over to the other world. Now they must find a way to get back before it is too late.

Do you use the human tag if they're human-shaped but not human? :?

This is a crossover with Homestuck. If you have not read the web comic yet, I'd suggest that you do so before reading this. If there are questions about this, I'd be happy to answer them.

Published 2012-03-25 04:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-06 15:02:45 UTC

Chapter 2

In Equestria...

The stranger blinked, looking around, confused. He stared at the strange creature in front of him, a little confused. Weren’t hoofbeasts normally white, or something?

Twilight walked up to him, smiling brightly, extremely curious. This kind of freaked him out, and he takes a step back to further the distance between them.

“Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. What’s yours?”

He blinked in shock, staring wide-eyed at it. He had never expected this...thing...to talk, especially not to him. He takes a few more steps back, trying to understand what’s going on here.

She blinks in confusion, tilting her head a bit. She then resumes smiling, holding a hoof up. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

She moves closer, taking in the details of her unexpected visitor. She looks at his grey skin, black hair, the small, nubby horns on his head, and the symbol on his shirt.

Looking up at him, she points at it. “Cancer, right?”

He blinks, even more baffled. He looks down at his chest and up at her, his eyes showing her his confusion, though it also looked like he was glaring at her. She visibly shuddered a bit.

“Your cutie mark. It’s the symbol for cancer. You know, astrology?” she says to him, trying to be helpful.

He narrows his eyes, definitely glaring at her now. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUTIE MARK? THIS IS MY SYMBOL, NOOKSUCKER.” He throws his hands up, gesturing around himself, quite angry. “WHERE THE FUCK AM I? HOW DID I GET HERE?”

She flinches at his choice of words, the rough tone of his voice scaring her a bit. “You’re in Equestria. And as for how you got here...” She then proceeds to explain the events that led to his arrival...

Back in the Veil, on an unnamed asteroid...

The yellow pegasus slowly opened her eyes, dazedly looking around. She slowly recognizes that she’s not at her house, starting to worry.

That is when she notices the creature standing right next to her. With a small shriek of fright, she hides behind her pink mane, huddling in a ball on the ground.

Nepeta blinks, then breaks into a wide grin. “:33 < if you are trying to play a game, you should purrobably introduce yourself furst!” She giggles, squating down next to her. “:33 < my name is nepeta!”

The frightened creature slowly stands up halfway, still quite wary of this stranger. “...h-hello...” Her voice is extremely soft, almost impossible to hear.

Nepeta, of course, heard the single word, jumping up in excitement. “:OO < you call stalk!” She thinks for a bit, seeing the pony’s confusion, then smiles, embarrassed. “:33 < i mean talk” She gets closer to the pony’s face, curious and playful, batting at her pink mane. “:33 < *ac purrlitely asks what the hoofbeast’s name is!*”

Of course, this completely baffled the pegasus, wondering about the stranger’s behavior for a bit before answering. “...I’m Flutter...” She trails off, her voice getting so quiet that even Nepeta can’t hear it.

Nepeta frowns a bit, leaning in closer. “:33 < *ac asks if the yellow hoofbeast can please speak up*”

The pony tries once more, shrinking back behind her wings again. “...Flut...” Once more, her voice trails off, this time into a squeak.

This time, however, Nepeta caught it - or, at least, she thinks she did. She grins and sits down in front of the pony. “:33 < *ac gr33ts the winged hoofbeast known as flutter, and pawnders whether or not they could be furiends!*”

At the mention of friends, the pegasus incorrectly called Flutter straightened up, her eyes wide in shock. “...oh no, my friends! I hope I’m not worrying them with my absence...” Even now, her voice is quite soft.

Nepeta smiles a bit more, leaning forward. “:33 < there are more of you?” She rests her chin on her hands, curious. “:33 < may i please hear more about them?”

Fluttershy shied away, nervous. “...I’m not sure I should...” She glances at Nepeta and falters, receiving an almost-irresistible pleading look from her. She sighs softly, her ears drooping slightly. “...okay...” She quietly begins to describe her friends...

Chapter 3

Nepeta nods, slowly absorbing all that the quiet mare said into her thinkpan. She stares at the pegasus, unsure of what to say. “:33 < your furiends sound nice, fluttershy, though the” She tilts her head, thinking. “:33 < you called them unicorns, i think?” Shrugging, she continued. “:33 < anyways, they s33m to be kind of boring”

Fluttershy shook her head, smiling softly. “Not at all. In fact, Rarity and I spend a day together at the spa every week. We're very good friends.”

Nepeta wondered to herself, wondering if the two hoofbeasts were moirails. She shrugged, dismissing the thought. She then leaned forward from where she was sitting, now mere inches away from Fluttershy's face, curious. “:33 < anyways, that one hoofbeast you mentioned, p-”

At that moment, the door opened, revealing a taller troll. He stepped in, placing his cracked sunglasses back on his face. “D --> Nepeta, have you seen-” He then notices his moirail sitting on the ground, fairly close to a winged hoofbeast.

Needless to say, he was at a loss for words. “D --> Oh my” He stumbles back out of the room, muttering to himself. “D --> I need a towel”

Nepeta turns to Fluttershy, giggling a bit. “:33 < equius can be pawsitively silly sometimes!”

Fluttershy shrinks back a bit, worried. “...oh, my...more of them...” She glances at Nepeta, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. “...I don’t mean to be rude, but...is there a way for me to...um...get back? I don’t want to worry my friends...”

Nepeta thinks about that, frowning slightly. “:33 < to be purrfectly honest, i don’t know!” She indicates the machine behind her, smiling. “:33 < howefur, this can bring one of your furiends ofur!” She giggles once again. “:33 < then we can all have fun together!!”

Fluttershy didn’t seem to like this idea. “...I just want...to go home...I mean...if that’s alright with you...” She gives a weak smile, hoping Nepeta wouldn’t get upset.

Nepeta, however, wouldn’t take no for an answer. “:(( < aw, why not?” She puts her hands under her chin and gives a small pout.

Fluttershy sighs softly, seeing Nepeta’s pleading expression and not wanting to upset anyone. She starts moving towards the screen, resigning herself to the young troll’s whim.

Nepeta, excited at the thought of someone new to roleplay with, quickly rushes over next to Fluttershy and messes with the controls. Eventually, she manages to focus on a happy-looking hoofbeast who was pushing a cannon along. She smiles as she presses the button to activate the machine and bring a new playmate over...

Back in Equestria...

Karkat stared at Twilight, a little annoyed. No, make that very annoyed. “SO YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT YOU FUCKING APPEARIFIED ME HERE?” He paces around the purple unicorn, growling loudly. “I HAVE TO GET BACK. THE OTHERS COULD BE IN TROUBLE, AS FAR AS I KNOW. JACK COULD VERY FUCKING WELL HAVE FOUND THEM BY NOW!” He kicks the door in his ire. “GOG DAMN IT!”

Twilight flinches once more, worried. “I’m sorry. I wish I could send you back, but I have no idea where you came from!”

Karkat quickly turned to face, and, most likely, yell, at her. Before he could say a single word, though, a white unicorn walked in.

She yawned slightly, looking right at Twilight. “Twilight, just what is this dreadful din about? I could hear it from my boutique, and you know I need my beauty-” She stopped as she noticed Karkat - and what he’s wearing. “Oh, my! You simply can’t dress like that, darling! It’s just so...unfashionable!”

He stared at her, not even trying to hide his ire. “OH, AND WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND I WEAR? A PAIR OF PANTS THAT GO UP TO MY FUCKING CHITINOUS WINDHOLE?”

She frowns, turning to Twilight, trying to keep her composure. “Twilight, who is this...uncouth ruffian?”

Karkat, confused by what she called him, but taking it as an insult, walked over to her, his teeth bared in a menacing smile. “MY NAME IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, NOOKSUCKER. NOW TAKE BACK WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU JUST SAID BEFORE I MESS YOU UP AS BAD AS THAT SQUEAKBEAST’S NEST ON YOUR DAMN NUGBONE!” He pointed at her mane as he said this, sneering.

She glared daggers at him, burning with anger. “Oh, it. Is. ON!” She stomped forward, about to do something the rude creature wouldn’t soon forget.

Thankfully, Twilight stepped between them, stopping any potential strife. She turned to the other unicorn, worried. “Rarity, please calm down. He’s most likely scared since he’s in an unfamiliar place.”

She then faced Karkat, a stern look on her face. “And you…” She shook her head, sighing a bit. “You need to be more...considerate.”

Karkat blinked, then shivered slightly, turning away. “SURE. WHATEVER.” He was honestly panicking a bit. “OH, GOG, I ALMOST GOT INTO THE ASHEN QUADRANT WITH TWO FUCKING HOOFBEASTS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?” He gripped his head, closing his eyes tightly. “THIS HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF NIGHTMARE. I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP. YEAH, THAT EXPLAINS THIS. THIS IS THE RESULT OF LISTENING TO EQUIUS TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT HIS GOG DAMN ‘FINE ART’!”

Rarity, curious, walked up next to him. “Darling, what could you possibly mean by ‘the ashen quadrant’?”

Karkat stared at her for a moment before coming to a conclusion. “YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE QUADRANTS. OF COURSE. THAT MAKES PERFECT FUCKING SENSE.” He groaned softly, then, with a reluctant sigh, began his attempt at explaining troll romance...

Chapter 4

Karkat finished his explanation, but, from the looks on the hoofbeasts’ faces, could tell that it was a wasted effort...at least, it was for the white one. The purple one just stared at him with a large amount of fascination and awe.

He groaned, even more annoyed at losing an hour talking to hoofbeasts about troll romance. “ANYTHING ELSE YOU LIKE TO ASK ME ABOUT? MAYBE THE SIZE OF MY FUCKING BONEBULGE?” He scowled at them, silently hoping they wouldn’t actually ask him that.

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other, both very puzzled. Rarity looked back at Karkat, frowning slightly. “Darling, please try and calm down. I’m sure you’ll be back with you friends soon.”

Karkat just groaned even more, pacing a bit. “NO THEY WON’T. THEY’LL THINK I’M JUST HIDING IN MY DAMN RESPITEBLOCK LIKE A FUCKING WRIGGLER!” He turned to the unicorns and, seeing the confusion on their face, growled, stomping his foot. “I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING EXPLAIN ANY OF THAT! I ALREADY SPENT AN HOUR TRYING TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING THAT WAS DAMN SIMPLE, AND YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT!”

Rarity, trying to be patient, gave him a strained smile.

Before she could say a word, though, a cyan winged-hoofbeast flew in, a worried look on her face. “Guys, Fluttershy is missing!”

Karkat stared at the newcomer, noticing the rainbow mane she had. Maybe she was like him... He shook his head, quickly getting that idea out of his thinkpan.

Twilight frowned, eyes filled with worry. “We should go look for her.” She turned to Karkat, apologetic. “I’m really sorry. We’ll return later to help you. Our friend needs us."

The blue pegasus glanced at the gray stranger, raising an eyebrow. She approached him, looking up and down his body. “And just what are you supposed to be?” He sneers, about to say a snide comment, but she interrupted him, getting in his face. “Oh, I Know! Somepony who’s too self-absorbed to think of others!” She huffed at him and turns away.

Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “Rainbow Dash, this is..." She looked at Karkat, realizing that she had no idea what to call him.

Karkat groaned, noticing Twilight's confusion. "CALL ME CARCINOGENETICIST, FOR ALL I FUCKING CARE."

Twilight raised an eyebrow at this, wondering if that was his real name. "...okay, then...Carcino." She turned to Rainbow Dash, wanting to finish her explanation. "I accidentally brought him here to our world, and now he’s...well...stuck here.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, looking away. “I bet I’m right. He probably has no friends. I heard him before I got in here. Nopony in their right mind would like him, much less be his friend!”

That’s when a thought hit her.

“Wait...he’s new here, right?” Rainbow looked at Rarity, slightly worried.

She nodded, a little confused. “That is correct, darling. Why do you ask?”

Rainbow paced, thinking out loud. “He’s new here, and that’s a reason for a party. Pinkie Pie loves to throw parties, but she likes to tell everyone, right?” She turned to face them, worried. “Why haven’t we heard from her, yet?”

Twilight facehoofed, sighing. “...she’s missing, too...” She thought for a bit. “But you’re right, she would never miss a reason to party. So...” She gulped, nervous. “Uh oh.”

Rarity looked at her, quirking an eyebrow in a silent question.

Rainbow, however, got up close, impatient. “What do you mean, ‘uh oh’?!”

Twilight grimaced slightly, worried. “...they might be...in Carcino’s universe...”

Rainbow Dash turned around and strode over to Karkat, grinning. “That’s great! If you could bring him here, then you can bring our friends back!” She faced Twilight, smiling. “Go ahead, Twilight. Bring them back!”

Twilight thought back to the events that brought Karkat here, nervous. “...I’ll try...” She focuses, her horn glowing as she tried to bring her friends back. A glow nearby, visible through her closed eyelids, told her that the spell was working.

As soon as the light died down, she peeked open an eye. She groaned, sadly shaking her head. “Well, that’s definitely not them...”

Back in the Veil (I really hope that I don't have to keep saying when the scene changes between planets, but I’ll do it anyways for the reader’s benefit.)

Nepeta blinked, grinning as a pink hoofbeast appeared. She walked over and giggled. “:33 < hello, my name is nepeta!”

The pony smiled widely, bouncing up and down excitedly. “Ooh, where am I? I hope it’s somewhere fun! Maybe this is the place to play games that aren’t out yet!” She looked over at Nepeta, bouncing around the troll and examining her at the same time.

Nepeta was wondering where that noise like an exaggerated metal coil decompressing was coming from.

“Ooh, what are you supposed to be? Oh, I know! You’re dressed as a cute kitty cat for Nightmare Night! I was a chicken last time! I was planning on going as a dragon next year, but I can’t breathe fire!” She fell onto her back, laughing at her own joke. Soon, though, she was back on her hooves, standing right in front of Nepeta. “Anyways, I’m Pinkie Pie!”

Nepeta couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “:33 < you’re purretty funny, pinkie pie!” She smiles at her. “:33 < *ms leijon pawnders if pinkie pie would like to be her new furiend!*”

Pinkie Pie jumped up, grinning excitedly. “Yay! A new friend, and I didn’t even have to sing a random song! This calls for a party!” She grabbed her cannon, which was somehow brought here with her, laughing a bit as she points it at the large jars nearby. “Fire fun!” She shot it off, launching colorful streamers and confetti all over it. She repeatedly fired, soon covering everything with bright colors.

She looks around, slightly confused. “Nepeta, where did you go? Ooh! Are we playing hide and seek? I love that game! Ready or not, here I come!” She rushed out of the room, starting to talk out loud about how much come sounds like cone, and how she was suddenly craving an ice cream cone.

A pile of streamers and confetti near the computer shifted, the paper sliding off to reveal Nepeta. She giggles, looking after Pinkie. “:33 < she is fun!”

Fluttershy, who had avoided being covered by hiding behind the screen, peeked out, a soft smile on her face. “...yes, she is...very much so...”

Nepeta thought for a bit, wondering if it was wise to let Pinkie Pie go off on her own...especially here, of all places.

Chapter 5

Pinkie happily hopped down the hall, looking around for anypony who could be nearby. She soon spotted another being, this one with horns that were rather large compared to Nepeta's. She stopped, looking down at him, then back up at the stairs nearby.

He slowly opened his eyes, in pain. Once he saw Pinkie, his eyes shot open, staring up at her. “,,,uH, h-HELLO,,,wHERE DID YOU, cOME FROM,”

She giggled, poking his head with her hoof. “Hello! My name is Pinkie Pie! I came from down this hallway behind me! I pretended to be playing a game just so I could wander around and meet new ponies! Or, in this case, another alien-thingy! So,” she sat down next to him, smiling brightly, “what's your name?”

He struggled to sit up, looking at her. “mY NAME IS, tAVROS,” He glanced over at the stairs, sighing to himself. “,,,kARKAT DID WARN ME, aBOUT THE STAIRS, i SHOULD HAVE, lISTENED,,,” He picked up the object that was next to him – a large tome that only had a single picture on the front. “,,,wHERE DID, tHIS COME FROM,”

Pinkie quickly grabbed it, opening it up and reading the title and inside cover. She then put it into her saddlebag, smiling to herself. “I’m sure Twilight would like this back. It seems like something she’d be interested in!” She sat next to him, pointing at his metallic legs. “Why do you have those? Are you a cypony? Or a cytaur? Or maybe you just like to have something as a conversation starter!” She grinned widely, and Tavros could have sworn he heard a squeaking noise.

To be honest, he was having trouble understanding her, she was speaking so fast.

Of course, Pinkie couldn’t care less, standing up and bouncing around him. “Why were you on those stairs? Did-”

He cut her off by putting a hand on her back, frowning slightly. “i’M TRYING TO GET, uSED TO MY NEW LEGS,”

Pinkie blinked, tilting her head a bit. “New legs? What happened to your old legs?”

Tavros winced slightly, remembering what he was told, how his previous legs were removed. Thank gog he was unconscious! “i’D PREFER NOT, tO TALK ABOUT IT-” Pinkie suddenly gasped and ran off. He was left there, lying on the ground, quite confused.

“,,,wHAT WAS, tHAT ABOUT?”

Slowly, he got up and walked the way that she came from, curious as to where she came from.

Back at Twilight’s Library...

Karkat stared, slack-jawed, at the two figures that suddenly appeared in front of him. One of them ran off, looking quite ill. It seemed that she didn’t handle the teleportation quite as well as the other troll.

“Hey!” Rainbow quickly rushed off after the fleeing troll, not about to let her get away.

The troll who stayed smiled at Karkat, nodding calmly. “Greetings Karkat” She motioned around herself with one hand, the other placed just above her red skirt. “May I Inquire As To Where We Are”

He sighed, pointing at the ponies in front of them. “ASK THEM, KANAYA. I’M NOT IN ANY MOOD TO BE TALKING TO ANY HOOFBEAST, OR ANYTHING ABOUT THEM.” He stormed off, leaving the two unicorns very confused.

Rarity approached the latest visitor first, a smile on her face. “I have to say, darling, that skirt is simply divine on you!”

This earned her both a surprised look from the troll and a small frown from Twilight. “I’ll just...go see how Carcino is doing...” She quickly left the library, not wanting to be caught up in a fashion discussion.

Twilight saw Karkat sitting in front of the library, staring up at the moon. She quietly sat down next to him, wondering what she should say. “...Carcino? I’m sorry you don’t want to be here. I’ll do my best to find a way to get you back home.”

He scoffed, turning away from her. “THANKS, BUT MY HOME WAS DESTROYED. I DON’T THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO GO BACK THERE.”

Twilight was mortified. “...your home was destroyed?” She glanced at her hooves, trying to understand what this alien was telling her. “...that...that must be awful...”

He sighed, shaking his head. “NOT REALLY. I GUESS I SHOULD BE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?” He flailed his arms about in panic, as Twilight apparently deemed it a good time to give him a comforting hug. He did not expect an invasion of his personal space, much less any form of emotional embrace.

She quickly let go, worried. “...you seemed upset...I thought a hug could help...”

“YOU FUCKING THOUGHT WRONG. GET OFF.” He pulled away from her, visibly shaking. “YOU AND YOUR HOOFBEAST PALS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR ACTIONS CAN DAMN WELL BE MISTAKEN AS.” He stalked away, leaving a confused and concerned Twilight. "NO ONE COULD EVER CARE ABOUT A FUCKING MUTANTBLOOD LIKE ME."

She watched him leave, sad. "...I could..." She closed her eyes, her heart aching for the troubled alien.

A large crash from the library demanded her attention. Mind racing with possibilities (most of them bordering on doomsday-esque), she rushed back inside.

If she had chanced a glance over her shoulder, she would have noticed Karkat right on her fetlocks. The first rays of the sun slowly began to peek over the horizon...

Sorry for the (relatively) short chapter, but I'm trying to write three different stories at the same time. It's getting to be quite a bother, and some quality will be lost in the long run.

Yes, I changed the story so that Karkat didn't give the ponies his real name. I decided that it was closer to what he would really do.

Also, considering putting the trolls' words in their Trollian text colors. Thoughts?

Hope you all enjoy!

Enigma out.~

Chapter 1

It started out like any other night in the Veil. Then again, time didn’t really exist there.

Nepeta was standing by a strange machine, having snuck away from the other trolls to examine it. Or, more accurately, to play around with it. She giggled a bit, messing with the controls, amazed at the different places, and creatures, she could see on there.

She stopped messing with the console and leaned forward, examining the strange, bright-colored race on the screen right now. She recognized the creatures as a form of hoofbeast, although they didn’t seem to be anywhere near as fearsome as the ones she used to see on Alternia. Especially the yellowish one with the light pink mane.

Suddenly, she heard the distinct sound of a machine starting up. Surprised, she turned to the pad in the middle of the room, watching as something started to take shape...

Elsewhere...

Twilight was in the library, looking over a book she had found, Unusual Spells, the Unabridged Version. She smiled, happy to have found such a rare book, especially one she had never read before.

As she was flipping through the pages, a certain spell caught her eye. Looking closely, she read the words out loud, though she was having a bit of difficulty with the faded print. “...‘Teleportation Spell...for teleporting ponies and objects over long distances...without having to accompany them’...” She smiles a bit more, excited. “This sounds interesting! I should learn this!” She looks around, wondering what she should test it on.

A glimmer of light catches her attention, so she decides to look at it. She finds a fairly large, heart-shaped gem on the ground, partially hidden by a large pile of books. She nods, pointing her horn at it and concentrating. Soon, a purple glow surrounds her horn, and the same glow envelops the gem. The red stone starts to disappear, much to Twilight’s happiness.

At that moment, there is a large crash. Startled, she turns to look at the source of the noise. She sighs, seeing one of her favorite books on the ground, having fallen from the top of the stack. She glances at the ruby, confused as to why it was still there. She turns back to her book and gasps.

“I-it’s gone!”

Panicking, she rushes back to the large tome, trying to find out how to get it back. However, the return spell was far too faded to read. She gives a small groan of frustration, and decides to just hoof it. She concentrates, trying to focus on her book.

She sighs softly as a small flash of light signaled that she had, indeed, teleported something to her. She blinks in surprise, realizing that she had not retrieved her book. Instead, she had summoned a strange being in front of her...