Lyra Heartstrings The Poneanthrope

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Sex
Length: 1087

Lyra Heartstrings is a poneanthrope, that hates Ponies and wants to be Human.

Lyra Heartstrings is a poneanthrope, that hates Ponies and wants to be Human.

Warning: Reader Discretion is Advised For: sex and controversial sensitive subjects that some readers may find offensive.

Should not be taken seriously, for everything that happens in this story is done for fun and silliness' sake.

Published 2014-02-22 00:20:17 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-22 00:20:17 UTC

Poneanthropic Lyra

On a bright sunny Saturday morning there was a green minted unicorn mare walking through Ponyville.

"Hi Lyra!" said the cheerful party Pony Pinkie Pie hopping toward her.

"Oh, hello Pinkie. How are you?" she said with a warm smile.

"I'm good! How are you?!"

"I'm having a wonderful day." Pinkie Pie smiled and continued on her way, once Pinkie Pie had her back to Lyra she glared angrily at her. "How dare that bitch say hi to me?! I don't like murderers and cannibals like her!"

Lyra turned away to find something less horrible to look at, only to see Big Macintosh walking up to her.

"Oh look another murderer and cannibal!" Lyra froze in fear as Big Macintosh walked past her. "Good, he didn't murder and cannibalize me like he plans to do to his family in the future." Rainbow Dash flew past above Lyra. "Oh look, another murderer and cannibal on the prowl."

She continued on her way home, but stopped to glare angrily at the purple unicorn Twilight Sparkle walking out the library.

"Oh look who it is! Personal student of Princess Celestia, aka leader of the murderers and cannibals."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" said Twilight. Lyra eyes widen in shock. "Well, why are you---- Lyra screamed galloping away. "Huh?"

Twilight shrugged and then went on her way.

Lyra dash past Ponies, whom she just knew wanted to murder and eat her. Once she got home, she slammed the door behind her while she was panting heavily and sweating in fear.

She didn't bother locking the door, for she knew even if she did that would not stop the Royal Guard from entering, that she just knew were on their way, due to her glaring at Twilight Sparkle.

It was only a matter of time before the Royal Guard were to arrest her and have her sent to Princess Celestia, where she will be killed and eaten by her. So rather than feel bad about her approaching death, she decided to masturbate one last time to her Human porn collection.

"Oh, how I hate Ponies and being a Pony! I wish I could become a Human!"

Lyra Heartstrings was a poneanthrope, she hated Ponies, because she knew most Ponies were either murderers, baby eaters or Justin Bieber fans. Unlike Humans were almost every single one of them was a good and kind moral person, that followed the true righteous path of Nicolastology, which was the worship of Nicolas Cage, the one true God. Very few Humans worshiped the Dark Lord Justin Bieber.

Lyra made her way to her bedroom. When she entered her room she opened a wooden drawer next to her bed, took out a giant blue Human penis shaped dildo, followed by lying down on her bed, it's blanket themed with Blood Raven Space Marines looking badass.

With her holding a dildo in her inferior hoof, that should be a superior Human hand, she masturbated over posters of Nicolas Cage doing seductive poses all over her room, each with a giant penis that would put even the most proudest stallions to shame.

"Oh, Nicolas Cage, you're so sexy!" screamed Lyra in ecstasy. She suddenly stopped masturbating. "Oh, who am I kidding?! Nicolas Cage would never love an ugly Pony like me!" she wailed in grief. "If only I could become a Human." she gasped in shock. "Oh, I know! I'll just write a story, where Humans kill all evil Ponies. That always cheers me up."

With that Lyra got up, walked over to a wooden desk across the room, sat down on a black office chair, turned on her PC and began to write another one of her usual horrible stories. For the past few weeks, Lyra had a history of writing stories, where she justifies Humanity committing genocide on Ponies, because Humans rule and Ponies suck and are evil.

Unfortunately, many Ponies on the Internet hated her poneanthropic stories.

Fortunately, Lyra didn't have to argue with them, for she could just delete their wall of text comments about how Ponies weren't evil and didn't deserve to have genocide committed on them.

But just as she had an idea for another horrible badly written story, filled with poneanthropy, spelling errors and grammar errors came into her head, there was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of Nicolas Cage dressed in a black tuxedo, whose arms were crossed as he glared angrily at Lyra.

"Lyra Heartstrings, I am very disappointed in you."

Lyre gasped in shock and turned around to face her Nicolas Cage with tears in her eyes. "What... what have I done to disappoint you my lord?"

"This recent poneanthropy Lyra, it upsets me. I thought you didn't hate your own race. Whatever happened to good Pony with a kind a heart that loved both Humans and Ponies?"

"Because Humans are good and Ponies are evil!"

"Lyra, you know full well I had to fight evil alter egos of myself across the multiverse, in your universe almost everypony is good. And during my travels I've meet some evil Ponies, but mostly good Ponies like you with a Human fetish."

"I-I... You're right. I need to stop hating."

There was a scream like a banshee as a red evil avatar of the Dark Lord Justin Bieber left her body. Lyra was no longer a poneanthrope, she was back to the way she was before when she loved both Ponies and Humans.

"Nooo! Curse you Nicolas Cage!" he screamed as he faded away into nothing.

"Oh, how can I thank you Nicolas Cage for saving me?!"

"No need to thank me. It was a honor to banish the evil out of you."

"Can... we---

"Yes, what is it my sweet fateful unicorn?"

"Can we have sex?"

Nicolas Cage whipped out his giant monster cock. "Of course we can."

"Yay!" There was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of two red lobster men, each with giant penises, but still weren't as big as Nicolas Cage's mighty penis. "Oh my!"

"Whoop whoop whoop!" shouted the two lobsters while they clicked their claws excitedly.

"I hope you like Zoidbergs." said Nicolas Cage as he cock slapped Lyra across the face with his massive terrifying penis.

"I certainly do!"

"Hooray!" shouted the two Zoidberg.

Lyra was no longer a poneanthrope and had a great foursome with sexy Human God Nicolas Cage and two sexy Lobster Men, each with a gigantic penis.

The End