Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria: Beautiful Music

by Fussan

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Other, Romance, Octavia
Length: 15092

When our hero/villain comes back to Equestria he meets Octavia and decides to do her a favor by preforming with her during her concert. Will his idiocy doom her, or save her? Will he get some pony booty? Will he get murdered by the princesses?

So it happened again. It's probably my fault for not burning my computer, but, meh. I didn't feel like building a new one.
Landing on my backside in Equestria once again, I decide to take things easier. Get a few drinks in me, grab a bite to eat, go to some of the local clubs, maybe set something on fire or maybe even cause a few explosions. Y'know, a relaxing Friday night.
Then I met this mare named Octavia. At first I didn't pay her much mind, but after talking a bit I decided that I kinda liked her. And upon hearing that her concert will be ruined because her pianist- the guy who plays a piano- somehow exploded... Well, I wasn't really guilty, per say. But I figured that since she bought me a few drinks I would help her.
So, it's the night of the show, and I have to learn a song written by Beethoven-grade musicians in about two hours, preform in front of the richest and most stuck up ponies there are, not choke, save Octavia's career, and get home again in time to not die. Phss, that's the easy part! What I'm going to have trouble with is keeping my hands off that pony booty.
Morals be damned! That's a fine piece of plot right there!
Pre-warning: This is a side story to Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria. I suggest reading that one first, but if you don't want to this one should be perfectly understandable. Though you may not get some of the references.
The cover image is a Montreal concert hall that I thought matched how the theater looked in the story. I didn't take the picture myself, so don't you dare think I know how to do anything with a camera except drop it in a fountain at Disney World.

Published 2014-02-23 22:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-23 22:30:05 UTC

Beautiful Music

I was running in circles. Yep, nothing fancy here. Just me being bored out of my mind and running in circles, trying to beat my record of who-knows-what. This is one of the many things I have started doing to pass the time. Running in circles, along with staring at walls, masturbating, and sleeping is how I deal with boredom. And since I just woke up from a seven hour nap, I was wide awake. On top of that Molly was gone, somewhere back in her own dimension. So, I was unable to sleep, and my dick was limp as a boned fish. Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

It was almost scary, really. I didn't dare say it, and even thinking it made me question life.

I had nothing to do in Gmod. I've killed everything in every conceivable way. I've spent days on end creating slide shows and RPing with myself. I've downloaded everything in the workshop that could hold my interest, and even some that didn't. But no matter what I did, what I destroyed, what I mutilated with a spoon... I was bored.

It scared me. The thought was just so... strange. So... unconscionable to my mind. But... it was undeniable. Truly, utterly, horrifically undeniable.

Even talking with my friends didn't help me. Serpent denied ever being to the land of ponies, and Viking outright refused to talk about something like that. I could speak about it anybody else, or they would think that I've somehow gone even more insane.

I sighed as I thought it. I hated myself for it. I hated myself almost as much as I hated the Human race for even daring to think about it. But no matter how I felt about it, I still thought it. More than that, I actually believed it.

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "Man, I miss Equestria," I muttered to myself, getting a foul taste in my mouth afterwards.

Yep, that's the terrifying truth. As much as I hate it, I miss the ponies. Even though I hated most of it, I actually had fun there. Fun... something that I hadn't had a lot of lately. No job means no money, no money means no alcohol, weed and hookers, and none of that... Well, that's the very definition of not having fun, isn't it?

But... Maybe... Just maybe... If...

Maybe... Maybe, if I just happened to go on to the Ponyville map, and I just happened to set up the sacrificial circle with everything it had last time, and I just happened to cause my computer to blue screen again...

I mentally kicked myself. I promised I wouldn't turn Twilight into a meal again... Eh, I can just use another pony. Nobody really cares, anyways. It's not like they're any different. Smiles, happiness, rainbows, and questionable sexual standing. Aside from that, they were just like the Smurfs! Only not as cool. Smurfette porn... Unf!

I watched the loading screen as the small bar ticked away, one block at a time. One block at a time... "Oh God, this is taking for-fucking-ever!" I groaned, rubbing my face with a hand. "Nothing should be this slow, not even snails should be this slow!"

The seventh bar ticked by.

I groaned. "You know what? I'm getting a drink," I said to nobody but the voices in my head that tell me to do terrible things. But then I remembered that I was pretty much broke and didn't have anything in my fridge. This realization made me tired. So tired in fact, that I just set my head down, closed my eyes, and...

BLIP

I snorted once, snapping my eyes open. I pulled my head up, wiping the drool off of my face with my handy cum rag that's always nearby. Then I looked at what was in my hand. I smacked my lips a few times. "Chalky... with just a hint of... meat?" I shrugged, tossing the half-stiff wife beater to the side.

I teleported to the building I had used to murder Twilight in and started setting everything up. Aliens? Check. Magic Circle? Check. Knives? Check. Bondage? Ooh, yeah... Check. Lighting? Check. Random blood splatters everywhere? Check. Everything else? Check.

I laughed darkly to myself. I was ready for the pony.

I opened the tab and chose one at random. Octavia, a grey earth pony with a talent for music, if her asstoo is anything to go by. With everything set up, I strapped her into the pink fuzzy shackles, put the leather bindings tightly on her neck, and made sure her tail was out of the way. Ah, I just love wet dreams...

I skipped the whole RP aspect of it, not really caring how that would play out or what would actually happen should I do it.

"Aaaannnnnnddddd... Death to the pony!" I shouted to myself, skewering the Octavia ragdoll through the face and glitching it into the ground. Just like last time, I got a good laugh out of the spazzing forms of the alien and the pony. Something about things having epileptic seizes half-way in the ground is just hilarious to watch.

I counted the seconds. Last time it was only ten or eleven. This time, how long would it take? "... Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourt-" I stopped, my eyes widening slightly. The game skipped. Then it did it again. It did it a third time, and with that came the blue screen! Yes!

I watched with undivided attention as the blue screen started changing colors. Not purple like last time, but grey. Once the screen was almost completely colored, the words changed. No longer English, but probably the pony language.

With an evil smile, I did some I always wanted to do. "Punch your computer!" I screamed, coiling back my fist and launching myself bodily at my monitor. As I went through my screen for the second time that month, I gave one final cry of battle. "For Narnia!"

I felt myself being pulled through reality and beyond as I entered Equestria. The smells of clean air, fresh food, ponies, and so much more met my beak. What? Beak? Why did I ha- "Ow! Fuck my with a fucking fuck! Fucker that hurt!"

I landed on my ass, much like the last time I was pulled into this world. Only this time it hurt a lot more.

I forced myself up, rubbing my sore... tail feathers? What the hell...? I looked myself over, seeing a familiar Playermodel. The Raven Warrior Playermodel, literally a birdman. I had forgotten that I was using this one. Luckily no ponies were around me, or they probably would have had a heart attack and died on the spot.

But no ponies being around was to be expected when I was standing in a dark alley somewhere in the middle of what I guessed was Canterlot at night. I peaked out of the alley, spying hundreds of ponies everywhere, neon signs, street performers, theaters, diners, pubs, and everything else that suggested I was in the part of town that goes bump in the night. Damn, they build fast! "Perfect..."

I dug through my add-ons, finding the Playermodel I wanted. After a few seconds, I had it. Suited Man 2. With the help of PAC3, I was also sporting some rocking aviators, a fedora, diamond earrings, and two silenced M9 Berettas in my jacket. What can I say? After nearly dying at the hooves of buggy rapist monsters I felt that a little bit of protection was always welcome.

Smiling devilishly and cracking my neck, I stepped out from the alley and strutted down the neon lit street. To say I got looks from the ponies was an understatement. Nearly- no, not nearly. Every single pony was staring at me in open-mouthed wide-eyed shock.

I tipped my fedora to a pair of mares, clicking my tongue at them.

They blushed and giggled, shyly waving at me from their spot across the street from me.

This seemed to calm the ponies. Yep, nothing to see here! Just a strange creature from another dimension here to sample the Equestrian nightlife! Keep moving, you damn rubbernecks!

I walked up to what would be the first bar in my tour of the new Canterlot. I took in a deep breath of air. Alcohol, sweaty bodies, cooking food, and just a hint of something sweet that I just couldn't place. It was the smell of good times to me!

I pushed the door open and walked in. Nobody cared who I was, or what I was. A serving mare trotted up to me and led me to a table near the bar. The ponies around me waved happily and smiled warmly.

I nodded back, a small smile on my face.

The serving mare came back, a giant tray of drinks across her flanks. "Would you like a drink?" she asked.

I nodded, taking the entire tray. "A lot of drinks, actually," I said, downing the first shot. One down, fifty to go!

She smiled brightly and totted back towards the kitchen. Poor girl, she probably thought I was going to be paying for these.

I drank quickly, not giving my body time to be affected by the alcohol I was consuming. Ten shots, twenty shots, it didn't matter! I was having a good time, and I'll be damned if something like a low alcohol tolerance is going to stop me! Heh, good thing I was immune...

I slammed down my twenty-fourth empty glass, shaking my head roughly. I grinned stupidly as I heard a round of cheers erupt from a group of ponies that had been watching me pound back the shots. "Here guys, you can have the rest," I said innocently. "I think I'll just go pay the nice waitress."

They roared their approval, patting me on the back and one mare giving me a quick kiss that turned into a make out session that lasted around ten minutes. I would have stayed and fucked her, but I had more pubs to rob blind, and by Bongo's beard I was going to enjoy myself!

I left the pub, going a short ways down the swinging street and into another pub. There were considerably more ponies in this one, and no serving mare came to greet me. The lighting was dimmed, the music was thumping, and the dance floor was overflowing with idiots who were determined to make fools of themselves. And that crowd of fools was about to get one number higher!

I waded into the crowd of undulating ponies, pushing a few of them out of my way as I got to the center of the crowd. I swayed and leaned and spun and stomped and did every other move I knew from Dance Dance Revolution to the beat of the music. I laughed as some of the ponies gawked at me, amazed that I was this good on my feet or just amazed at me in general. I did some more moves, ending with a flourish of arm movements and flashed the DJ a wink and a toothy smile.

The white unicorn mare flashed me a smile of her own, bobbing her head up and down to the beat as the lights reflected off of her purple shades.

I tipped my hat to her, panting lightly and sweating from the dancing. P90X? Fuck that shit, just get high on acid and go dancing at a night club. I guarantee you'll drop pounds faster than torturing yourself with exercise.

I walked out of my second pub, snagging a basket of fries and a sandwich from a table near the door. As walked down the street I was jamming food into my face and licking my lips and fingers clean of the delicious grease that the best fries always produced.

I went into another pub. Same story as the others. Kicking music, dancing drunks, laughing and smiling ponies, and not a single fuck to give anywhere within a hundred mile radius. And just like the other pubs, I drank, ate, then danced my way right out the door without paying.

It was like this for the next few hours. I would enter a pub, eat and drink, shoot the shit with a few ponies, dance until I was drowning in sweat, maybe tongue fuck a mare in front of her friends, family or husband, then leave with spirits higher than they were in the last pub. It was a system that I had no problem conforming to.

I chuckled to myself as I walked down the street, tipping my hat at a mare and stepping inside of a pub for a few minutes of fun, then leaving before I had to pay. Music seemed to be playing wherever I went, fast tempo with a solid beat. No lyrics, but still a damn good song. Thanks to the drinks, food, and women I was thieving from the pubs, the music surrounding me, and the friendly smiles and nods of the ponies of Canterlot, it seemed that my mood was actually changing for the better. Something that rarely happens when I'm around other people.

I shook my head, laughing loudly at myself for feeling this way. I didn't care about the looks it got me, I was in a good mood damn it! And by the Gods, nobody was going to ruin this night for me! I was determined to have one last swing in Equestria before I sold my computer for beer money!

I stopped in front of what must have been my tenth pub, eyeing the sign with slightly blurred eyes. "Shaken Not Stirred. Funny."

I pushed open the door, looking around the room inside. Just like the other pubs I was in, the music was lively, the dancing was sweaty, and the drinks came as easy as the mares. Maybe not as many ponies in here, but still enough for me to get lost in a crowd.

As I entered, I was stopped by a cute blue mare. "Come with me," she said quickly, pulling me to a table somewhere in the back.

I followed her, laughing as she struggled to lead me in the correct direction. I was led to a little table with two other mares sitting at it. A yellow one with pink hair and yellow eyes, and a red one with neon hair streaked with at least ten colors and orange eyes. I sat down across from them, smiling stupidly. "Ladies..."

They giggled and waved at me, their very forward friend sitting down between them. "So," she said in a chirpy voice. "I think you're hot. And you should totally buy us drinks."

I laughed. "Yeah, no. I'm here for drinking, not giving somebody else drinks." I gave her a toothy smile. "Unless you want to work for them, that is..."

She took the hint, leaning forward and kissed me. "How about now?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Nope!"

She smirked, leaning over the table once more and kissing me. This time it lasted a while, giving me more of a taste. Cranberries and alcohol. Lovely. She pulled back from me slowly. "How's that?"

I smacked my lips. "I don't like cranberries," I said. I could see her face turn angry, and I laughed at her. "Sorry, but make the guy get the first next time," I laughed, getting up and fixing myself a new target: the bar!

I waded my way through the ponies crowding around me over to the bar and sat on a stool, waving over the barkeep. "Ten of the strongest thing you got!" I said, slurring my words a bit.

He nodded happily, disappearing under the counter and reappearing a few seconds later with a bottle of something green, swirling with yellow streaks, sparkly, and glowing. "Liquefied unicorn magic compounded with 190 proof alcohol," he said, a loving smile on his face as he gazed at the bottle.

I snorted, grabbing the bottle from him and pulling the cork out with my teeth. When it was opened, a small rainbow mushroom cloud came from the bottle, shaking the room slightly.

"Be careful with that!" the bartender warned.

I waved my hand at him, chuckling quietly. "Dude, if I can do anything, it's drink. Watch and learn, posers!" I shouted, drawing the attention of the ponies at the bar. I put the bottle to my lips, letting the drink wash over my down and down my throat. It was burning and freezing at the same time. Sour and sweet, dry and wet, thick and thin, good and bad. It was like nothing I've ever tasted before.

I pulled the bottle away from my mouth, staring at the mostly empty thing. Weird, everything seemed to be sideways...

"Sweet Celestia..."

I looked up, my vision filled with spots and lines. "Whu...?"

The pony next to me had a horrified expression on his face. A light greyish-blue pony with a white vest and black tie on, and three piano keys for a butt mark. "Get off of me you drunk!" he yelled, pushing me away from him.

I swayed on my stool, nearly falling off. "Whu ya pob'm? Eh, mufuguh?!"

He scoffed. "I'm sorry, but I don't speak slur," he said, his posh, snotty voice grinding on my nerves in a very angering way. "Now please leave me be, I have only a few hours to relax before my concert. I'm playing with Octavia herself, you know." He scoffed again. "Not that some... thing like you would know who that is. Though I doubt a drunken idiot like you knows much of anything," he said, chuckling to himself.

I scowled at him. "Sshay tha gen ya lil' bitch!" I growled out, leaning forward again.

He sneered at me. "Drunken. Idiot."

Now, before anybody goes pointing fingers, I just want to clear up one thing. I'm what some would call an "angry drunk". The more I drink, the better I feel. But on the flip side, the more I drink, the more prone to anger and violence I am. So coupling somebody calling me mean names and enough alcohol to put a normal Human being into a coma... Well...

I swung the bottle of liquefied magic at him, shattering it over his head. And that would have been the end of it too, had the bottle not burst into flames and exploded with the force of a Howitzer shell. Liquid magic is volatile... Who knew? Not me, that's who!

I was thrown out of the pub, most of my body being obliterated from the force of the explosion. My pieces and chunks landed in the street outside the pub, not even recognizable for what they were.

I gasped in pain as I respawned, pushing myself up into a sitting position. I looked at the pub... or, what was left of it. Most of the front was gone, and the buildings on either side of it were damaged or destroyed. There were flames reaching high into the sky, painting everything in their green and yellow colors. There was a good number ponies on the ground just outside of the pub, and some of them weren't moving.

I got to my feet, taking off at a sprint down the street. I fucked up. Bad. I was lucky that respawning got the alcohol out of my system, but unlucky that the explosion probably killed everybody in that pub. If Celestia found out about that before I can get back home... Oh God, that won't be good. She's the only one who can send me back, and if she wants me dead... I hope she'll still buy the whole "I'll nuke everything if you don't do what I say" act. Well, I had to kill a dragon and slaughter a race to near-extinction last time for her to send me home. Maybe I could take over a continent in her name...?

Wait, where was I?

I stopped running, my breath coming in ragged gasps. Wow, even in Gmod I was out of shape. I looked around me. No more neon signs, no more happy ponies, no more smell of food and drinks and fun times.

There were a few dozen ponies about, taking with each other and ignoring me as they passed. There were large buildings that resembled things like theaters, shops and stores, and even a little shop tucked away in the folds of the city with a sign that said "The Crop" on it with wheat in the background. The few open pubs and dinners I saw were more... classy looking. The colors were drab and the ponies in the windows all looked like they all belonged in Downton Abbey.

I spawned myself anew, cleaning the sweat and grime off of me. "I need a drink," I muttered to myself as I walked towards an upper class pub and dinner. The Prancing Pony, it was called. I gave a snorted laugh of amusement as I pushed the door open and walked inside.

Immediately the quiet conversations and murmur of the crowd stopped. I felt their eyes on me, trying to bore holes into my very soul with their stares.

I cleared my throat, straightening my suit jacket and making sure my silenced M9s were still there. Something told me that I would need them here if things got too interesting.

I slowly and purposefully walked to the bar counter, my fancy shiny shoes clicking against the tiled floor. I reached the bar and sat down on the plush red stool, getting a look of distrust from the bartender. "Whiskey on the rocks, if you will," I said in my British accent. Unfortunately, the guy that I copied it from lived in Glasgow, so I sounded more like an angry killer than refined gentleman.

The stallion behind the bar raised a brow at me. "I think you would be better suited to go a few miles up the road, to Freetown. Your kind is welcome there," he said, a slightly angry edge to his words.

Freetown, eh? Well, I suppose it was pretty free... I leaned forward, my scowl gracing my face. "You'll serve me, or you'll serve the deamons in Hell," I said threateningly.

He swallowed, taking a few steps back. "R- right away, sir," he said quickly.

I leaned back in my seat, taking off my fedora and placing it on the counter. A second later there was an empty glass that had drops of whiskey and a few ice cubes in my hand.

I glared at the bartender. "I said give me a whiskey!" I growled.

He nodded quickly, pouring whiskey in the glass.

I downed it in one go. "More!"

He poured more.

I drank more.

He poured more.

I drank more.

He poured more.

I drank more.

He tried to pour more, but he was out. I saw him swallow nervously, trying to smile at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "If you tell me that you're out of whiskey I'll rip your tongue, wipe my ass with it, and sew it back in your mouth with a rusty spoon and the hair from my nuts."

His light brown face paled to an almost ghostly white. "N- no s- s- sir! I- I have s- some mo- more in t- the back!"

I felt the counter top fracture and crumble in my grip. "Get it then and stop wasting my time," I snarled at him, showing him every tooth in my mouth. Even the sharp ones in the back.

He nodded and quickly trotted to the back room.

I watched as he scurried into the back room behind the counter. I was truly amazed. Countless bottles of wine and champagne, but only one bottle of whiskey? Don't these ponies have any culture in their lives?! Ridiculous I say!

I let my anger boil and stew for a while, the thoughts of what I'd done fueling my building rage. It wasn't my fault, he started it. He's put his hooves on me before I hit him. He was at fault, not me. I was innocent in all of this. I just... I had killed them all. Unless I found a way to somehow bring them back from the dead, I was fucked. More than that, I would have broken my promise. And that's what bothered me the most. I might be a sadistic killer/rapist that practices Satanism and enjoys spreading misery and evil, and I may be an Anarchist that can actually make believable plans to overthrow the government, and I may plan to burn the world in nuclear fire one day, but I have limits damn it! And breaking a promise is just going too far!

I heard the door open, thanks to the dead quiet of the room. The slow clopping of hooves on tiles followed, coming nearer to me. Everything in my was screaming at the universe for it to not be Celestia or Luna.

I turned my head, my fear well hidden behind a half-drunken scowl. I inwardly sighed in relief. It wasn't one of the princesses, it was a mare. A grey mare with a black mane and tail and... Holy shite, it was Octavia! And... she was sexy! Oh God, I need to stop drinking!

She slowly stalked forward, taking a seat at the bar on the second stool to my left. She let out a sigh, hanging her head low. Her hair was frizzed and her eyes were slightly bloodshot, but she still had this air of elegance around her. "Where's the bartender?" she asked wearily.

It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking to me. "Uh, getting me a bottle of whiskey," I said to her, forgetting to use my fake accent.

She scoffed. "Whiskey? Ugh, vile drink."

I scowled at her. "Well forgive the fuck out of me, but I didn't ask your opinion on what I drink," I snarked.

She flinched away from my words, almost looking like I was about to strike her. "Sorry," she mumbled.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the faint murmurs of the upper class behind us. I could almost taste the awkwardness in the room. "So, I didn't peg you for a drinker," I said.

She gave me a sideways glance. "Do I know you?" she asked suspiciously.

I chuckled darkly. "No, but I know you. Probably better than you know yourself, really." I flashed her a toothy smile, making sure I was showing off the pointy ones.

She scooted away from me a little bit. "Well forgive me if I disappointed a fan, but I need a drink right about now," she said, sighing. "My entire career is ruined because of that idiot..."

I raised an eyebrow, leaning over the counter to snatch a bottle of wine. Hmm, purple wine? Has to be better than brandy. Ugh, the one drink I refuse to consume without first being at a blackout level of drunk. "Troubles with the boys at school, Tavi?" I teased.

She shot me a glare. "My pianist is dead," she said angrily.

I shook my head sadly. "Your life isn't over. I'm sure they have creams and lubricants to help with that," I said sympathetically. "The change happens to all women, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

She looked horrified. Disgusted even.

I laughed to myself. "I'm fucking with you. Your piano player got deep sixed. How?" I pulled the cork out and took a swig of the wine.

She scoffed, staring angrily at the counter. "The idiot went up to Freetown and got caught in an explosion of liquefied magic."

I choked on the wine, nearly spraying it everywhere.

She sighed, putting her head in her hooves. "Somehow the owner was hiding a stash of bottles from the guards. And now everypony's... They're all..." She didn't finish the sentence, instead just sighing into her hooves on the counter.

I swallowed the mouthful of wine slowly. "So... when'd you hear the news?" I asked her.

"Not an hour ago," she said. "I saw the flames and asked somepony what had happened... It was his favorite bar. He always goes there before a show."

I frowned. "Well, maybe he-"

"He told me that's where he would be."

I frowned even more. "Well, maybe you don't nee-"

"Without him, the concert will be cancelled and I'll be humiliated."

I frowned a lot more. "Well, I'm sure it's no-"

"I'll never be able to show my face in Canterlot again. I'll never be able to play another show as long as I live."

I frowned so hard that my face was starting to hurt. "I think I'm going to stop talking now..."

She sighed heavily, letting out a few quiet sobs as she sat there hiding her face. Her life was pretty much over, and she was... what, twenty? Twenty-five tops? Damn... she was my age and and she's finished.

I reached over and patted her on the back. "It can't be that bad, can it? If you have any true fans they'll stick with you no matter what." I leaned closer to her. "And between you and me, you're damn sexy. So you've got that going for you too."

She gave me a dirty look from under her hooves. "If you're trying to cheer me up, it's not working."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, no shit. You're a bigger downer than Rarity," I said, jabbing her in the ribs and making her yelp. "You need to have a drink and calm the fuck down."

She sat up straight and glared at me. "I don't know who or what you are, but you'll be sorry if you put your... appendages on me again!"

I raised my eyebrow. "Don't need to, sweetflanks," I said with a wink. Wow, I really need to stop drinking.

She scoffed and turned back to the bar, just as the bartender came out of the back room with a nervous look on his face. "Ah, there you are. Can I get my usual?" she asked the nervous stallion.

He nodded at her as he stood in front of us. "Sir?" he tried.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I assume you've brought me my whiskey?"

He gulped audibly. "W- we seem to be out of stock, sir. But I have a few bottles of Scotch if that pleases you?"

I felt a shiver run up my spine. "Ooh, the last time I drank Scotch I woke up two days later in a different city... I'll take a bottle- no, two bottles."

He nodded, smiling thankfully that I let him off the hook.

Octavia scoffed again, getting my attention. "If you insist on drinking those disgusting beverages, would you at least sit somewhere else?"

I leaned my elbows on the counter, smiling evilly at her. "Oh, you don't like the smhhheeeeeggghhhhll?" I asked, blowing a giant breath of whiskey stank at her. If my night was ruined, I was determined to make everybody else's just as bad! Why? Because I hate happy people. I hate them three times as much when they're happy while I'm angry.

She scrunched up her nose, fixing me with one of the most angry, hate-filled looks I've ever gotten. "If you don't leave me alone, you'll regret it," she growled.

I put my hands up in the air, laughing to myself. "Whoa, look out everybody! We got a badass over here!"

She harrumphed and faced the counter again, taking a delicate sip of the wine glass that was now in front of her thanks to the bartender.

I took a swig of the wonderful drink that was Scotch and smiled at her. Even though she was completely hostile, I just couldn't help but like her. "C'mon, Tavi... I was just fucking with you! Loosen up!" I crowed, nudging her in the ribs again.

She turned to glare at me again.

I laughed. "Listen, if it makes you feel better I'll drink that sissy shit that you're having." I corked the bottle of Scotch and put it next to my fedora, flashing her my best winning smile. I think I need to go to AA...

She sighed and waved the barkeep over, motioning to me and her drink. "It does make me feel better. Thank you."

I picked up my wine glass and sniffed it. "Hmm... Grape, blackberry, blueberry, strawberry, and... citrus?" I sniffed again, inhaling deeper. "Old, too... Almost a century if I'm right." I took a large sip, draining half the glass. "Yep, a century. At least. But the blueberry's gone... No, that was fucking plumb and lime!" I smacked myself in the head. "God, I'm an idiot! How'd I not smell that?!"

Octavia and the barkeep were giving me shocked looks. "You... know your wine?" she asked.

I drank the last of it in one go. "Well, being an alcoholic starts somewhere. For me, it was beer and wine with the occasional swig of some of the harder stuff." I got a refill. "You have damn good taste in drinks, I'll give you that."

She snorted. Then she actually chuckled. "An alcoholic complimenting me on my drinking habits... I've hit a new low."

I shook a finger at her. "No, you just found a medium class drinking buddy with fine tastes and no standards." I sipped my wine, sticking my pinkie finger in the air. "And I do declare! You shall be my favorite drinking buddy in this dimension!"

She chuckled again, raising her glass in the air.

I clinked mine to her's, spilling a bit on the counter. "To the future of alcoholism!"

She sighed, but smiled nonetheless. "To a future without a career," she said sarcastically. Oh my God! She can by sarcastic too?! Dear God, I think I'm falling for this mare...

I drained my glass quickly, allowing me to stare at her as she carefully drained her own. I saw her throat rise and fall as she swallowed the wine, the silky coat shimmering in the light from the thin coat of sweat she'd gathered from drinking. Her eyes were closed tightly as she drank, allowing me to study her. From her soft lips to her silky ears, I watched her. I watched her open her eyes and looked at me, a small smile on her lips. I looked into her eyes, those glowing pinkish-purple orbs of life and light.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, raising a brow at me.

I swallowed, my throat feeling dry all of a sudden. "Damn... I just realized how beautiful you are," I said quietly.

She scoffed and blushed. "It's the drink talking, I know. But thank you."

I shifted in my seat, coming closer to her. "Listen, what if I could help you? With your career problem?" I asked. "What if, hypothetically, I could play the piano?"

She gave me a look, clearly not believing me. "Then, hypothetically, I would ask you to save my career if you're any good," she said carefully.

I shifted closer to her again. "And, hypothetically, if I said yes and saved your career... would you kiss me?"

She looked at me for a while before answering. "If you could help me, hypothetically, then, yes, I would kiss you," she said, leaning a bit closer to me.

I cracked a smile at her. "It's a good thing I know how to play the piano then," I said. "I can play all the masterpieces! Tetris Theme, Over The Rainbow, Sierra's Song, the Terminator Theme, the Morrowind Theme, Mad World, and a bunch of other ones!" I moved closer to her, grabbing her hooves in my hands. "Octavia, I think I can save your career!" I said excitedly.

She smiled happily. "The concert is supposed to go on at ten thirty. What time is it?"

I spawned myself an iPhone 4, pressing the power button to check the time. "It's just past eight," I said. I looked at her. "Do we have time to clean up?"

She jumped off the stool, pulling me with her. "Yes, but only if we hurry! You need to know the song before it's time to preform, or it'll be a disaster!"

We ran out the door, leaving what was probably a hefty tab going. The air was colder than I remember, and there were considerably less ponies out and about.

"Where are we going?!" I yelled over the sounds of our limbs meeting the cobbled street.

"That building there!" she yelled, looking at a large theater-like building maybe half a mile off in the distance. "It has restrooms with showers we can use! Plus changing rooms!"

I laughed as I shoved an elderly couple to the ground. "I have ways of cleaning up without showers or changing, Tavi! Just worry about yourself!"

We ran through the night, time fighting us with every step. It almost seemed to fly by as we ran. A pony there, a shop here, a few random objects scattered about. They all just flew by us as we went. Then we reached it, the theater.

I kicked the doors open with a loud, "Ku-wha bitch!" and was led by Octavia through the large complex. It was much larger on the inside than the outside, full of hallways and trapdoors and double doors and normal doors and other things like that that confuse the hell out of me.

"It's just in here," she said, pushing open a door and ushering me inside.

Inside was a large dressing room filled with little booths for ponies to check themselves, dressers and wardrobes stuffed with clothing and costumes, and random junk everywhere that suggested to me that this room saw a lot of use.

She pulled me forward through a second door, leading to what looked like a shower room at a gym. There were a few pieces of clothing and other things that suggested use, but it was much cleaner in there. "I need to take a shower and brush my teeth. While I'm doing this you need to practice," she said, trotting over to a nozzle and turning a dial with her hoof. "The sheet music should be in stall number fourteen. Check the drawers."

I nodded once, taking as much time as possible to leave the shower room. As I watched the water rain down on her body, I couldn't help but feel a small stirring someplace indecent.

But I needed to practice if I was going to be of any help to her. Shaking my head to clear away the dirty thoughts of her and a spoon, I left the shower room and searched for stall fourteen. I passed twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen... I stopped on the stall that had a small 14 carved into the top of it.

"This is it," I said to myself, pulling out the drawer. Inside was a number of interesting things. Small trinkets, a few pieces of jewelry, some papers, and what looked like a picture of Octavia giving the photographer a certain kind of smile. I pushed all of these things aside and dug deeper until I found what I was looking for. A book of sheet music.

I pulled it out and stared at it. My eyes widened. "What the fuck is this shit?!" I tried turning it upside-down, but that made it worse. Sideways? Nope, even worse. "Oh fuck... This is bad."

I looked over to the shower room, thinking about how devastated Octavia would be if I couldn't pull this off. I would never get that kiss!

I looked back to the book of sheet music, an idea brewing in my head. Maybe... Just maybe...

I spawned in the Playable Piano- one of my favorite add-ons- and sat down in the little chair. Hoping against hope, I placed the book over the existing one. I watched, waiting for something to happen.

Slowly, the notes on the pages started turning into letters. Letters that I could read and play! Hell yeah, we're back in business! The letters were difficult yes, but if I could jack off in front of my friend's mom under a blanket while holding a conversation with her and watching Power Rangers with his little brother and sister with a kitten sleeping on my shoulder while all of this is going on, I could do anything.

I started playing the first notes, striking the keys and producing the wonderful sound of music. The groups and clusters, the spaced ones, all of them flowed together seamlessly as I struck the keys. The tempo picked up, driving me to go faster and faster until, at the peak of the son-

"How are you playing like that already?" Octavia asked, flabbergasted that I learned the song so quickly. Well, it's not really learning so much as knowing how to push buttons on a keyboard.

I looked over my sho- Holy fuck! My mouth dropped open at the sight of Octavia. Her fur was wet and gleaming in the light of the room, clinging to every curve of her body. Her mane hung down, framing her pretty face and highlighting her eyes. Those eyes... They were like beacons in the dark, showing me the way. "Uh... I have mad skills?" Okay, from this day forth, I solemnly swear never to drink anything alcoholic ever again.

She chuckled dryly, pulling a towel over her head and running it down her back. "I would question that, but seeing as we only have half an hour before the show starts I'll let it slide."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Only half an hour? That's... not ideal..."

She stopped drying herself and looked at me. "Yes, especially since you still aren't cleaned," she said in an annoyed sort of tone.

I snorted and waved my hand over myself, spawning myself anew and fresh as a daisy. "I'm clean, you?"

She started to respond but stopped herself. She bit her lip lightly. "Um, this is embarrassing... but... could you... do my flanks?"

My head ticked to the side. "What?"

Her eyes went wide, a small blush appearing on her face. "N- no, what I meant to say was... Um, that is... I, may, have trouble reaching my flanks, and, I was wondering..."

I stood up, a smirk playing at my lips. "You want me to rub my appendages all over your ass?" I said, more of a statement than a question really.

Her blush flared brightly, and she glared at me. But still, she nodded.

I chuckled darkly as I walked over to her, chalking that one up to her not wanting to chase me off and ruin her career without me. I took the towel from her and slowly swaggered behind her. "My, my, my Tavi! You were right, you're sopping wet back here!" I said teasingly.

She made a noise between a whine and a scoff, pawing at the ground. "Just... do it."

I chuckled, running the towel as slowly as possible across her backside. Dat ass... UNF!!!!! I could have bounced a nickle off of her ass! As I knelt down to her level, I kneaded the flesh of her posterior with every possible surface of my hands. I could feel the muscles under the skin and I could tell she was strong, even for a pony. Though I chalked that up to her being slightly above average size for a mare. But other than her muscles, she was soft. Plush almost. Her backside shifted and conformed to my hands in a way that, despite not being a yiffer, made me feel a stirring in my loins. Call me a furfag if you will, but three facts stood out plain as day. Furries and yiffers are different things, Octavia wasn't an animal, and we were both somewhat drunk.

She shuddered as my hands went over her Cutie marks, letting out a tiny moan.

I stopped instantly, looking at her. "Uh...?"

She looked back at me with her blush bright as ever. "My... Cutie marks are... sensitive. Just, be careful with them."

I felt a devious idea bubbling up. "So, I shouldn't do this?" I asked, tracing the treble clef Cutie mark on her plump ass.

She moaned again, shuddering at my touch.

I raised an eyebrow. "Or... this?" I pinched her Cutie mark on the note's tail.

She gasped, letting the air out in a low, throaty groan.

My face was split with a wicked grin. "Or maybe... this?" I pulled my hand back and slapped her right flank, causing her butt to jiggle slightly.

She yelped loudly, turning to fix me with a glare. "I said to be careful! Not engage in foreplay!"

I gave her my best innocent look. "I was just making sure I know what not to do, Tavi. Calm down..."

She snorted and trotted away from me, but not before flicking my nose with her tail. Somehow, that only made me like her more. "The show is about to begin. If I were you, I would get ready," she said stiffly, disappearing somewhere behind a load of equipment.

I laughed as I stood upright, making my way to where I guessed was the performing area. As I left the dressing room, I was actually surprised at how many ponies were around. I hadn't seen any ponies on the way in, but now that the show was about to begin, they were fucking everywhere!

I stuck my hand out, stopping a stallion wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard in his magic. "Where's the stage? I need to get my piano set up."

He eyed me for a few seconds. "Are you High Keys?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nope, he's... incapacitated. I'm his replacement."

He sighed, muttering something about drinking and fish. "Go down there and take the first left you see," he said, pointing a hoof behind him.

I nodded once, tossing the towel over his head after giving it a deep sniff. Tea, lavender, and... something sweet. Smells like a good time to me!

I quickly walked to where the stallion had pointed me, taking the left and coming out on a nearly pitch black stage. Looking at the audience, I could see that nearly every seat was taken. Even the balcony next to Celestia and Luna was crowded an- WAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!

I did a double take, staring in horror at the princesses of the day and night. They weren't looking in my direction, thank God. But once the concert started...

I couldn't do this. If they saw me, I'd be screwed. But if I didn't do this, I wouldn't be screwed. Either way, I lose. Fuck, I was in between a rock and a hard place.

I mentally weighed my options. On one hand, I get away and live to see another day, but I screw over Octavia and don't get any of the pink puffy pony pussy. On the other hand, I help Octavia, get all up in dat ass, then die horrifically and painfully in ways that only I could imagine.

Hmm... Sticky dicky and busted head, or motion lotion with full health... Sticky dicky... Health... Sticky dicky... Health...

I looked to the other side of the stage, watching Octavia setting up what looked like a cello. She stood on her hind legs, slowly, almost teasingly, running one hoof up the long neck of the instrument. With her bow in the other hoof, she plucked the strings, quickly sliding her hoof up and down on it to make sure it was in tune.

I nodded once, making my decision.

I spawned in the Playable Piano, making sure the correct song was open. I sat on the small seat, cracking my joints starting with my fingers, then my wrists, elbows, shoulders, back and neck.

I stared at the keys. I knew I could play the song, but could I play it while dodging beams of death from Celestia? Well, only one way to find out...

Octavia cleared her throat. "Thank you for helping me. You didn't have to, but... What I'm saying is... Just... Thank you."

I looked over to her, winking suggestively. "Anything for a lady's kiss."

In the dark I couldn't really tell, but something told me she was smiling.

The lights in the crowd dimmed, meaning that we were about to go on.

"Welcome, mares and stallions, to Theater de la Canterlot," said a snobbish announcer voice.

I snorted. "Doesn't that mean 'Theater of the Canterlot'?" I asked Octavia.

She chuckled. "I think so, but I don't know if he does."

The voice continued. "Tonight, we are graced by two lovely guests here. Princess Celestia, and princess Luna! The rulers of our land!" This was met with thunderous golf claps and roaring "Hear hear."s and "Good show."s. "Tonight's show is a much anticipated one indeed, if I do say so myself. The lovely miss Octavia, and her partner Hi- ... What? Then who is he? What do you mean you don't know?! Well find out you idiot!" The announcer cleared his throat. "It seems that mister High Keys was, er, injured in a rather unpleasant incident in Freetown. But don't fret, the new pianist is sure to impress!"

I could hear murmurs and silent exclamations from the crowd. I chanced a peak at the princesses to see them both staring directly in my direction. "Well, fuck..." I muttered to myself.

There was a loud clank as the lights came on, temporarily blinding me. When I could see again, the entire stage was lit up and I was in plain sight. Good thing I looked damn good! Fedoras are dead sexy...

I took in a deep breath, striking the first keys of the song. Once I was playing, the beautiful cellist next to me drew her bow across the strings, humming out the fist note.

My fingers flew across the keys, making music with Octavia like I've never heard before. It was heart breaking, uplifting, sorrowful, promising, joyful, and mind shattering all at once. It was like dying and being brought back to life in Heaven, then being cast out and finding happiness in pain. It was impossible to explain in mere words, so I just let the notes wash over me.

The music bathed me in its perfection. I felt the pains and sorrows get washed away, leaving my empty but full at the same time. I felt peace as we played.

Octavia went into her solo, my piano playing all but stopped. The cords were haunting in their beauty. High and low, low and high, mixing together so seamlessly that it sounded like one single note being tortured and forced to sing to us. It made the darkness seem black, and the light seem foggy and obscured. It broke something inside of me.

I felt the world fall away from me. Nothing was there except for me, Octavia, and our tools of beauty. Just the two of us standing on nothing, surrounded by halos of pure light.

I deviated from the script. I no longer needed to read the notes from the pages, I played what was in my heart and soul. It was flawless as it wove into and around my partner's notes. The sounds of our music danced around us, the strings and notes as clear to us as the ground is to any living being. Even though I closed my eyes long ago, I could see clearly. I saw Octavia standing before me, cradling her cello and smiling at me with tears running down her face. She was no longer playing the practiced song. She was playing from the strings of her heart, telling me the story of her soul with her music.

I smiled back, tears of my own falling from my eyes and racing down my cheeks. I played back, speaking to her, telling her my own story. Showing her what was inside my heart. Opening my soul to her, for her to either accept of refuse.

She closed her eyes, but still she was staring deep within me. She played back. She accepted my soul, as I did with her's. She played the closing bars, showing me her darkest secrets and greatest fears. She showed me the power that lived inside of her that only music could unlock.

I struck the keys, telling her my best kept secret. She shared her life with me, her fears, hopes, and anguishes. I was going to give her my most treasured possession. I played her my name. My true name, the one I chose for myself. I told her what it meant.

She drew her bow across the strings, droning out the final notes of the song.

With a quick flurry of my fingers and flicks of the wrists, I complimented her music, becoming a lowly background of sound and letting the wonder fall to her.

The lights faded back in, showing the crowd to us. Every pony in attendance was weeping, their faces that of raw feeling. Sorrow, agony, horror, regret, all of these and more made up the emotions drowning the room.

At once, they all stood from their seats and roared in cheer, stomping their hooves on the ground hard enough to shake the stage. But that didn't matter.

I was looking directly into her eyes. That beautiful grey cellist with the glowing orbs of life in her skull.

She smiled at me with such a mixture of emotions I thought she might explode from them all.

I got up from my seat at the piano and approached her, kneeling down to her level.

She went back to all fours, nearly matching me in height.

I put my hand on the back of her head and pulled her towards me, kissing her full lips with as much passion as I put into the music. I put everything I had into that kiss. All or nothing. Right at that moment, it would be decided if my death would be worth it.

She tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss, pressing her lips harder against mine. Her breath was quick, and I could taste sweat and tears between us, and I knew. I knew that I could welcome death at that moment.

She pulled away from me, leaving a thin, glistening trail of our mixed saliva linking our lips. "Meet me in the dressing room," she whispered, breathing heated air onto my neck and face.

I watched her slowly saunter away, her hips swaying temptingly with every step.

I felt my heart pounding in my skull as I followed her. I ignored the announcer's voice calling us back, and the voices of the both princesses. I walked past the curtain and looked around, spotting a metal door leading to the hallway I was in before.

"Hey, you!" a voice shouted.

I looked back towards the curtain to see the stallion I had used as a towel rack glaring at me.

"You need to get back out here! The princesses want to speak with you!"

I turned back towards the door, almost jogging in my rush to get to her. "Tell them to go fuck themselves!" I called back, throwing the door open and running into the hallway. I made a right, nearly sprinting down the hall and towards where she was waiting. The faster I went, the slower it felt like I was moving. I needed to get to her now!

I slammed open the doors to the dressing room. As I walked in, I looked around me. I didn't see her anywhere, but... I did see steam wafting out from the showers. With a lecherous grin, I walked to the entrance, peeking in. There she was; a silhouette against the heavy clouds in the room.

I went to her, stripping off my suit as I went, not caring if it got ruined. Next I kicked my shoes off, and I simply tossed my fedora to the side and did the same with my aviators. The accessories landed audibly on the white tiled floor as I neared her.

She turned to face me, the water cascading down around her like a halo. The droplets hitting her rippled on her coat for fractions of fractions of seconds, the wetness glistening in the room's lights. Her mane was hanging down her neck an down the side of her neck, shinning like it was made of polished glass. Her face, her expression, was wanting. Her beautiful eyes, those crystal orbs of life and light, stared into my own eyes. She was smiling at me in a way that made my skin crawl in the best of ways, despite the room's hot temperature.

She slowly walked towards me, forcing me to my knees with her eyes. When she stood in front of me, she reached her hoof around the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss.

Wow. She's a dominant role. Who knew? Not me, that's who!

I put my hands on her, one in her mane and the other on her neck as I kissed her back. I squeezed her neck gently, getting a gasp from her. I may like a woman who can take over, but I'm the fucking dominant! I will not be the submissive! That will never change, no matter what.

I broke the kiss and spun her around so that her flanks were presented to me in all their bountiful glory. I ran my hands over the silky fur on her backside, working them up and down and in random patters ever closer to the prize I had my eyes on. I vaguely remember hearing her say something about stopping, but I ignored it. I took a few more long strokes along her coat, finally coming to graze my fingertips along the velvety outer lips of her wet marehood.

Her entire form shuddered as I stroked along her most private of places agonizingly slowly.

I swirled my middle finger around her puffy clit, peeking out from the excitement I was causing her to feel. I chuckled to myself quietly as she shuddered and moaned as I worked at her. Just a little attention was enough to cause something other than water to drip down the inside of her legs, and I was wondering what would happen if I did... this...

Octavia let out a shriek of ecstasy, throwing her head back and screwing her eyes shut tightly. Her back leg kicked out randomly, nearly taking my head off.

I smiled darkly as I rolled her clit around between my index and my thumb, putting ever-increasing pressure on it. I went from a gentle squeeze to an almost vice-like grip, rolling and swirling her engorged clit in my fingers faster and faster. With a particularly rough squeeze and tug on her, I saw waters of her own rush out from her, crashing into my chest and a little bit getting on my face.

I pulled my hand away from her, licking the sticky substance from my fingers. "Absolutely beautiful..." After licking my fingers clean, I put them back to work.

Three finger in her dripping sex up to the hand, with my thumb working at her clit once again. I was using quick in-and-out motions, no longer content to just tease her along to her climax. I wanted her to get off, and I wanted her to get off now! The more I could break her down, you see, the easier it would be to get her to submit. Though, ponies aren't exactly cut out for forcing dominance over others, so I would have an easy time no matter her state.

As I increased my pace with my arm, putting the entire limb into action for premium results, I could feel the heat and pressure inside of her tunnel building to ludicrous levels. I could only compare it to fingering a blast furnace on high, honestly. The moans and shrieks coming from her only encouraged me to go faster and faster until she was on the very edge. Then, I stopped.

I pulled my fingers from her, spilling her clear juices over the wet floor. "Tell me how much you want it," I said evenly.

She looked back at me, her eyes unfocused and glassy from the pleasure. She nodded jerkily, pressing her plot against my chest.

I wagged a finger at her, shaking my head. "Words, my dear. I need to hear you say it."

She swallowed dryly, shivering in desperation as she tried to pleasure herself by rubbing herself on my chest. "I... I want it."

I pulled my lip back into a terrible smile. "How much do you want it?"

She let out a shaky breath, giving me a look of need and lust. "So badly. Please... I want it more than anything."

I nodded once, patting her flanks roughly. "Good girl."

With that I pushed her off of me, getting one last look at that beautiful slit before I dove face-first into it. I heard her let out a particularly loud scream that turned into a lusty moan as I worked my tongue and lips on her. I pushed my tongue as deep in her as it could go, lapping up any wonderful juices I could. I licked at her inner walls, circling my tongue around them over and over again until I found her sweet spot. I flicked my tongue across her hot spot until I heard her begging me to stop, to do anything but that. I was torturing her in my favorite form, breaking by pleasure. I pressed my tongue to the spot, running the slightly scarred surface over it while trying to suck the juices from her with my lips. The combination of sensations was too much for her poor body to handle.

I felt the rushing of sexual fluids flow out of her and over my tongue, being swallowed up by me like I was dying of thirst. There was so much, I almost couldn't get it all without drowning. But eventually, the flow ended, leaving my thirst slated.

I stood up, no longer able to ignore the painful throbbing of my piece. I was slightly annoyed to find out that my six-foot-five-plus-a-fraction height left me at a disadvantage, even though I was slightly hunched from years at the computer. My member was higher than she was, coming to rest heavily on her back. "Well... this is a problem..." I muttered to myself.

She looked back at me, her eyes half-lidded and sultry. That is, until she saw my piece laying across her back. Her eyes widened as she gulped nervously. "That... That'll tear me in half! You can't honestly expect... that... to fit inside me, can you?"

I grabbed her backside, lifting her hind legs off the ground and aligning her entrance with my veiny, throbbing piece. I pressed the tip into her, getting a quiet moan from her. "It doesn't need to fit, Tavi," I said said darkly, pushing further into her. "It just needs to go in." As I watched her face go from apprehensive to once again wanting, I let her fall on me slowly. With every inch that slid into her, the moaning got louder. I stopped when I felt myself hit a barrier, Octavia uttering a half-whimper half-moan. I still had a few inches left out, but I refused to hurt her for my own pleasure. Not on the first date, at least. I usually saved that for the third one.

I lifted her back up, pulling out until only half of me was left in her. "Look at that," I breathed through my teeth. "It fits." I let her fall quickly on me, my piece sliding back in until I hit that barrier again. It was an incredibly tight fit, admittedly, but if there's one thing I like, it's video games. Then it's tight pussy.

The wet smacking of our bodies, our quick and labored breathing, shaky and unsteady, and the moans of both of us filled the room. The hot spray of the shower adding to the feeling and the heat of everything. The sound of the water hitting the floor and the steam hissing playing in our ears. It was like music in itself. It surrounded us, it danced around us, it was within us. The beautiful, sensual, lusting music that nearly consumed us.

It was wild and untamed, but it had a certain patter to it. The beating of a heart. My heart. Her heart. Both of our hearts as one. The rhythm was slow, but it was working. I slid in and out of her, dragging moans and groans, screams and shrieks of pleasure from both of us. It was music without clear notes or lyrics, and only the two of us playing it together could understand it.

I tightened my grip on her flanks to brace her against me as I went faster. My arms were tired and sore, but physical pain was nothing. I figured that much out the hard way. I lifted and dropped her on me with forceful motions, increasing the heat between us tenfold. I could feel her walls contracting and squeezing against me, pushing me dangerously close to the edge. But I refused to let go. I refused to finish before her.

I pushed into her harder, pushing against the barrier as hard as I could. Every time I hit that wall, she would scream. I was close, and I wasn't able to hold out for much longer. Thankfully, I didn't need to.

Octavia let out a screaming moan that no doubt shattered any windows near us as her velvet walls clenched around me, brutalizing my piece without mercy. She held that high note until her orgasm was over, riding it like a great wave.

I felt her walls clench and squeeze against me, rippling with the orgasm rocking through her body. That's when I lost it. I slammed my hips to her's, forcing myself into her to the very base. I knew I was probably hurting her, but at that moment I had trouble caring. I emptied myself out into her, feeling like there were gallons of my cum leaving me. I pushed against her when I felt a rope shoot into her, pulling back when I was about to empty again, then slamming into her as far as I could when another rope came out.

It took a long time, but I felt the last of my seed leave me. I was panting heavily, dripping sweat along with the water washing over me. "That... was incredible," I said, in awe of how the feeling I was in.

The grey mare with me looked back, her face that of pure pleasure. "In... Indeed. That was quite... incredible."

I nodded at her, a smirk slowly twitching into place. "So, ready for round two?" I asked her, completely serious.

She blinked, her pupils shrinking down. "R- round... two?"

"That sounds like a yes to me," I said, hefting her up in the air and spinning her around to face me, my piece still inside of her, hard as a rock. I wrapped one arm around her flanks, the other around the middle of her back. In this position, I had much more leverage and could hilt inside of her.

She gulped, wrapping her front hooves around my neck. She looked into my eyes, her own almost shinning. "I'm... I'm ready."

I wasted no time in starting, rocking my hips against her's. I groaned, feeling the heat and pressure from the buildup of fluids that were still trapped within her. No doubt she felt them too, but she wasn't complaining about it in the least. No, she was moaning in pleasure with her eyes shut tightly.

I watched as her body rose and fell on me, the light's reflections on her glistening grey coat shifting and warping with the curves of her body. Her grey coat, a beautiful color, complimented perfectly with her black mane and tail. Her cultured and intelligent face, her body, her mane, her soft, fuzzy ears that made me want to pet them... Everything about her. Everything about her screamed perfection.

I pressed my lips to her's, stealing a kiss. Tea, lavender, and something sweet.

She opened her eyes to look at me, kissing me back. Her eyes... I just couldn't get over them.

I stared into her eyes, and I saw something. A tiny spark of light that flashed for only a fraction of a second, but I knew it was there. Then I felt it. The ice was melted away, slowly, but surely. In the spot where the ice was gone, a small flame was lit. A minuscule flame that burned with the intensity of the Sun itself.

She smiled into the kiss, closing her eyes once again. She leaned forward, pressing her body against mine and tightening her grip on my neck. Her coat on my bare chest created a friction that I could feel deep inside of me.

I pushed my tongue forward, asking permission to enter her mouth.

She obliged.

I pushed not just my tongue, but my head forward, kissing her with the emotions I had for her. Telling her without words what I felt for her. I nearly cried when she kissed back just as I kissed her.

I moved faster, building the heat inside of her to painful levels. I no longer needed, or even wanted to get off. I only wanted to bring her pleasure. She was mine, and those that belong to me are well taken care of. I followed the beating of our hearts for guidance, thrusting in time to the deafening thudding in the air surrounding us. As the seconds ticked by, every one brought us closer to our end.

She pulled away from the kiss, panting and gasping for breath. "I'm close," she said between pants.

I nodded, trapping her in a kiss once more. I would be damned if I let this happen without kissing her. Our tongues didn't fight for dominance, or wrestle with each other. They danced. Together, they danced to the beautiful music that we were creating. They went from her mouth to mine. It didn't matter where they danced, as long as they were together.

Octavia tightened her grip, nearly crushing my neck as she moaned loudly into the kiss. Her walls crushed against my member, trying to drain it of the hot seed that her body craved.

I obliged. I pushed into her as far as I could go, the very tip of my piece slightly parting the barrier to her womb as I came. I had thought that I was done, but I still had life inside of me. Not nearly as much as before, but still a substantial amount pumping into her. I filled her up far past her limits, forcing her stomach to bulge out from the sheer amount of the results of our time together inside of her.

When both of our climaxes has peaked and passed, we simply basked in the afterglow. I was holding her against me, unwilling to let her go. She was pressed against me with her hooves around my neck, unwilling to part from me. Both of our mouths were locked together as we shared each others' tastes.

Finally, I broke the kiss and looked deep into her eyes. Those glowing orbs of life and light. "I need to go," I said.

She smiled sadly. "I know. But, will I see you again?"

I kissed her again quickly. "If this universe ceases to exist, I'll still find a way to see you again."

She smiled, this time happily. "Good," she said, closing her eyes and resting her head on my shoulder. "Good..."

I chuckled quietly to myself at just how cute the situation was. With a bit of finesse on my part, I was able to pull my softening member out of her, letting the mixture of fluids slosh to the floor of the shower room. I frowned at the lack of my cum. I know I had came buckets, but the amount that dripped out couldn't even fill a Dixie cup. But... where did it all...

My eyes went wide. "Uh oh," I said quietly as I realized what had happened. I could still feel the small bulge in her stomach where I had pumped her full of my cum, still filling up her womb to the point of bursting. I hoped and prayed to every pagan god I didn't believe in that I wasn't able to get her pregnant.

I laughed to myself nervously. "I can't get her pregnant, I'm a computer program," I said, trying to reassure myself. "But... technically... so is she..." I gulped. "No, this is just a video game... And besides, she's a pony!" I laughed, trailing off. "A video game that she's a part of... And I'm a computer program inside of it..." I felt my blood go cold. "Scientifically speaking..."

Yeah, I needed to leave. Now.

I walked out of the shower room, quickly finding her stall in the dressing room and placing her on a nearby random couch. I looked down at her sleeping form, smiling slightly. With one last kiss, I turned arou- OH FUCK ME WITH A SPOON!!!!!!!!!

I fell to my knees, my heart beating so hard it hurt. I gasped in breaths, pounding on my chest with my fist as hard as I could to get the beating back in a rhythm instead of the random, sporadic thumping it was doing.

"I wish I could say it's good to see you again, but sadly, it's not," Celestia said from not five feet in front of me. She had a look on her face that could freeze an ice cube twice.

I clawed at the floor, wheezing to get air back in my lungs. I felt like the blood in my veins was replaced with liquid nitrogen. Cold liquid nitrogen.

Celestia sighed, turning to Luna. "I think that maybe we should announce that we are behind somepony next time," she said.

Luna simply smiled at my suffering, a terrible glint in her eye.

I managed to get my heart started again and my breathing fixed enough to stand up and scowl at them. "What are you idiots doing?!" I whispered as loud as I could, so as not to wake up Octavia. "You almost killed me!"

Celestia raised a brow. "Even if we did, it wouldn't matter."

I scowled harder. "That's not the point! I-" I stopped when I heard Octavia mutter something, rolling over. "Can we take this somewhere else?" I asked them.

They both nodded, turning and striding- not walking, because walking is too mainstream for them- out of the room.

I gave one last look back to Octavia, my beautiful cellist. I was probably never going to see her again. One way or another, I was going to be fucked. Hopefully not with a spoon.

***

I was standing in a morgue. The cold grey surfaces, the grey tiled floor, the dim lights that bathed everything in an eerie gloom, the very atmosphere, they all seemed to be glaring at me. The room itself felt like it hated me, and the three ponies with me knew what I was feeling. "What the hell is this?" I asked, my eyes shifting everywhere at once.

"It's the Canterlot morgue," Celestia said. "It's where ponies are stored after death until they're ready to be prepared for burial."

I gave her a sideways glance, not daring to take my eyes off the room. "Why are we here?"

She strode forward, walking into the room as if nothing were wrong. "I wanted you to see what you've done." At my questioning look, she lit her horn up and surrounded every one of the sliding doors in the building. With a burst of magic, they opened.

I covered my mouth and nose with a hand, trying to block out the stench. "What in God's name is that stink?!" I shouted, coughing.

Celestia covered her face with a wing, her eyes watering up from the stench. "It's what you've done to the ponies in Freetown."

I looked in the little cubbies at the corpses. Burned, torn, ripped, seared, mangled, exploded, and many other words could describe the bodies I was looking at. Dozens of bodies. Dozens upon dozens, easily over a hundred in their numbers. The bodies of those dead because of me. I looked at them, taking in the scared or pained expression forever plastered on their faces. "I did this?" I asked.

"Yep, and ya made my job harder," said the burly unicorn stallion standing next to one of the bodies. "Most of 'em ain't even recognizable to their families. Had to get dental records on 'em to see who they was."

I shook my head. "It wasn't my fault," I said. "I was only defending myself from some idiot in a pub."

"And you needed to kill them all?!" Celestia yelled, her wings flaring out in anger. "You needed to murder innocent ponies just because one of them made you angry?!" Ooh, touchy...

I scowled at her. "I was drunk, you idiot! How did you expect me to react?! Asking him politely to piss off?!" I waved my hand over the bodies. "It's not my fault their dead! Blame yourself for allowing liquid magic in a fucking pub!"

She stomped her hoof, causing cracks in the floor to appear. "How am I to know what happens in every inch of my kingdom?! Tell me that!"

I got in her face, breathing hot air on her. "You're a fucking goddess, Celestia! You have the power to raise and lower the fucking Sun! A star with two by ten to the thirtieth tons of fucking mass! How the fuck can you not know how to stop a two pound bottle from floating around a pub in your city!?" I was raging, screaming in her face and spraying spit on her. "Are you so fucking incompetent that you don't know how to run your own country?!"

She ignited her horn, pressing her forehead against mine in what was supposed to be a threatening gesture. "Do not question how I manage this country! I've done nothing to make you angry! You should be furious with yourself, not me! What have I done to deserve your anger?!"

I straightened out, popping my back into the correct place so I stood at my full height. Even with her horn, I was taller than she was. "You took her away from me!" I screamed. "It's your fault! I was happy for once in my God damned shitty life and you fucking stole that from me!"

I don't know if it was the fact that I was so much taller than she was, or if it was what I had said. But she stopped. Her horn went out and her wings folded back at her sides. Even her head dropped down an inch. "I'm sorry," she said. "If I had realized... I didn't think that it was possible for anypony to have true feelings for a Changeling."

I wanted to hit her. I wanted to kill her. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to end her life as brutally as I possible could. But I didn't. "You have all that power, and you do nothing with it," I hissed out at her. "It won't be Changelings, or Minotaurs, or Griffons that'll end this country. It'll be your inability to use your fucking birthright."

She sighed once, turning a glare to me. "Even if that may be true, you still killed these ponies. Do not try to distract me."

I crossed my arms over my chest, stepping back away from her. "I know. I fucked up. Again. But before you kill me, I just want to know how Death's doing."

She glared even harder. "That... thing... is doing fine. He's taken up residence with Fluttershy in Ponyville, if I remember correctly."

I smirked, despite the situation. "Lucky bastard... Always going for the softies."

"I still do not know how you even managed to create a pony from nothing, but he'll not hear of this," she said, leveling me with a look that promised death.

I snorted. "It was easy. I created him w-" I stopped. Wait... Wait!... WAIT!!!!!... "Celestia! I can fix this!" I said with a crazed smile. "I can save everybody!"

She eyed me suspiciously. "How?"

I pulled out my Toolgun, and held it up to my mouth, blowing imaginary smoke from the barrel. "Magic!"

I ignored her distrusting glare and dug through my add-ons. If I didn't delete it... "Ah! Here it is!" I shouted, waving my hand over an empty spot next to Celestia. In that spot, a pony... ish thing was spawned. It was debug white with no eyes or hair, almost like a mannequin, but somehow much more creepy. Terrifying, really. "Behold, Kyle... The answer to life!" I yelled loudly, imitating Dr. Weird. With my outburst out of the way, I right clicked on a dead pony, then left clicked on the creepy- Oh God, it' looking at me! The fuck?! That thing's alive?!

I repressed the urge to run out of the room screaming and left clicked on that horrifying mockery of a pony. Then I nearly threw my non-existent hat in the air in celebration! It was a pony! A real pony! "It's alive! It's alive!"

The pony, a vaguely familiar small blue mare with her hair done up in neon beads and bright pink eyes, looked around her. "Where am I?" she asked.

I looked at her with a very serious expression. "You're in Hell, my child. From this point forth, your everlasting soul belongs to me. Every Tuesday is dress down day and there's cookies and punch by the Pit of Feeding."

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "Wait, you're that dude that stiffed me and friends at Shaken... What's going on?"

Celestia gave me an odd look. A mixture of pure elation and bewilderment, with just a hint of rage. "Please, my little pony, go home to your family. You need to see them."

The mare gave Celestia an awed look, instantly agreeing and trotting out the door of the morgue.

I looked at Celestia with what was the most smug face I could pull off. "So... How much do you love me?"

***

I took in a deep breath, happy to be alive. What made me even happier was that fucker that got me into trouble in the first place. With a few modifications, I "accidentally" made him into a mare. An ugly mare. Ah, the look on Celestia's face was priceless... Oh, but his/her face was even better when I said I couldn't fix it! Ha! That was rich...

I stretched, popping a few joints back into place. I was waiting for Celestia and Luna to set the portal back up to send me home. I'd gotten my fix of excitement, and I was more than ready to get back to my bed. My lumpy, broken bed that had holes in it and smelled like sex, alcohol, drugs, and vomit... Damn, I'm going to miss Equestria. Free food and drinks, I can get away with rape and murder as long as it's not ponies, I was pretty much God, and there were always willing females.

I heard hooves behind me.

"It's ready to go," Luna told me, her voice saying more of a "GTFO FAGET!!!1!1!!." kind of message.

I stood up from my seat on the balcony, taking one last look at the city at night. I chuckled evilly, waving my hand over a large building in the distance. "Okay, let's go," I said with a yawn as I turned to walk with Luna.

As we walked down the decorated marble hallway, I couldn't help but think about things. I had let Octavia know my name. Was that good, or bad? Had any other ponies heard it in the music? Did the two princesses know? I mentally shrugged, not really caring too much. It happened, and unless I wanted to spawn in the T.A.R.D.I.S and go Dr. Who on them I couldn't take it back. But fucking with time could potentially ruin what happened with Octavia, and I wasn't willing to do that.

We passed through the giant doors to the throne room, which seemed to be the go-to place for anything and everything in that damned castle.

The device was up, and the red swirling vortex of death was red and swirling and... looking like it was death. Shut up, that't the best I could do! But unlike last time, there were no ponies around, no friends, no sick and dying... Nothing but the three of us and a big machine that'll split me into nothingness and reform me back in my own dimension.

I stood there, facing that machine for a few minutes. I cracked a smile. "So, we're here at last, eh?!" I started.

"Leave!" both of them shouted at the same time, the force of their combined voices almost knocking me over.

I snorted. "Fine. Take you present and fuck yourselves with it," I muttered, stepping through the portal. I heard them screaming after me, but I was laughing too hard to hear what they were saying.

***

I snorted once, inhaling the scent of sweat, old garbage, and musk. Yep, I was home again!

I pulled myself from my desk and looked around me, trying to find the clock on my wall. Spotting it, I read the time. Not ten minutes had passed since I entered Equestria. Damn, time was weird.

Yawning loudly, I turned my computer off and made my way upstairs. I needed a nap. "M-Dog, get the fuck off my bed!" I called up the stairs.

A dejected bark was heard from my room.

***

Celestia and Luna stared at the box in horror. It was bright blue with pink spots and a bright yellow bow on top of it. The soft tones of a lullaby neither of them had ever heard before played from within the box. The sound was beautiful, but it seemed to carry with it a haunting feeling that chilled them to the bone. The last time they opened a box from him, there was nearly a war between them and Death.

Luna swallowed audibly. "Sister, I'm scared," she said.

Celestia felt sweat running down her forehead and dripping from her face. "I am too, Luna."

They stared at the box for a long time, unsure if they should open it or incinerate it. But they couldn't destroy it, it might have something alive in it... Maybe they should destroy it...

Luna stepped forward slowly, her breathing picking up. One hoof in front of the other. That's how it's done. Closer and closer she edged towards it. Reaching it, she looked up at the top. It was enormous. Over ten feet high and just as wide.

"Be careful!" Celestia warned.

Luna nodded once, trying to get her breathing under control. Slowly, oh so slowly, she touched her hoof to it.

A simple piece of old paper appeared on the side of it, getting her attention.

She picked it up in her hoof and looked at it. A head with scratched Xs for eyes and no mouth or nose. Next to that were four words. "Always watching. No eyes." She read the words quietly, almost afraid something was going to happen.

BOOM

Both of the princesses nearly jumped out of their skins at the sound of it. It was like a giant canon going off in the distance, rumbling through them.

BOOM

Again it shook them. It seemed to be happening every few seconds, over and over again without end.

Luna turned to Celestia, a question half formed on her lips. But when she saw what was standing behind her sister, she screamed like a small filly as pure terror coursed through her body.

***

As the grey cellist slept, a small, unassuming box appeared on the desk of her stall. In that box was a gift like she'd never before seen, and never would see again.

The box creaked open of its own accord, revealing the treasure within. A pin of a treble clef made of diamonds, rounded so as not so cut. Under that was a small piece of paper with a drawing on it. A drawing of a beast of the forest, standing with a pony mare.

It was a drawing of us.

Author's Note

Finally! It's done! It took long enough! So, I started this on Friday, fell asleep after getting to five or six thousand words. Woke up on Saturday, got about a thousand words done before I watched the new episode with my sister. Then I had to do a bunch of shit regarding a birthday in the family, so nothing else got done that day. So now it's Sunday, and I've been up since seven in the morning finishing this.
This is an idea that's been knocking around my head for a few days now, and I just had to do it. At first this was just going to get right into the character and Tavi- Whoo! Octavia!- meeting and getting together for a concert. Afterwards, they would have just split up after a quick kiss. But then... I got bored and visited EQAD to get my mind working again. Sadly, I saw an Octavia pic, and my new goal was to make them have a bit of sexy time. But after writing for a bit, I decided that I was going to refuse that side of me, I started talking to myself. "This is Octavia, damn it!" I says to meself. And you know what I says back? I says, I'll tell ya, I says, "If this has to happen, it's going to have emotions I say! And by the curly white hairs of Betty White's wrinkly cunt I'm making those emotions good ones!"
So then this happened. Meh, I've read better. I've also read much worse, but this is not some great romance story, by any means. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!