Rules of the (Slumber) Party

by matcha cheesecake

Rating: teen
Tags: Rarity, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5175

Twilight loves sleepovers, but they never go as smoothly as she would like. For one, why do her friends always end up bickering all night, yet come out smiley and happy the morning after? Well, that’s something she’ll have to figure out..

Twilight loves sleepovers, but they never go as smoothly as she would like. There’s always one thing or another: her friends bicker the night away, she sees or hears something that makes her brain shutdown, or (Sweet Celestia!) somepony gets a hoof to the face!

Are the Elements of Harmony actually falling apart? If so, how come everypony seems all smiley and happy the morning after?

Well, that’s something she may need to figure out...

[This is a love story told in a series of sleepovers.]

Rated Teen for mentions of alcohol intoxication and steamy making out.

Many thanks to SleepIsforTheWeak and war10ck111 for proofreading and nudging me in the right direction. Cookies for y'all <3

Published 2014-02-26 08:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-20 06:15:20 UTC

Chapter 2, in which Twilight learns what BSOD means

Rules of the Party
#12: Anything you say can and will be used against you.

*

I didn’t want this. All I wanted was a glass of water.

It happened a few days after the last sleepover. We’d just finished up one of Pinkie’s patented no-holds-barred-party-’til-we-drop parties, and plastered ponies were sprawled all over the Carousel Boutique for the night. Too much moonshine, I guessed. I woke up from a throbbing headache, my pelt and mane drenched in sweat. I figured some water and willow bark was in order, so I carefully slipped out from between Applejack and Fluttershy to try and find the kitchen.

Three wrong turns and a locked bathroom later, I thought I heard somepony making strange guttural sounds down the hall. I chalked it up to Rainbow Dash’s ridiculous snoring, went on my way, then found myself back where I started. I mentally kicked myself. How could I have missed the dining area adjacent to the room we’d crashed in for the night? It was through a door next to where the now-missing Fluttershy had been sleeping.

A vaguely familiar musk invaded my nostrils as I pushed the door open. What I saw inside made my jaw clatter on the floor.

Two ponies were enjoying themselves on the dining table. They had their eyes closed, and were too busy to notice me anyway. One had her back against the table, her head lolling off the edge to my direction. Her pink hooves smoothed over her partner, mussing up some purple mane, then drifting over to the cutie mark. Throaty moans escaped her lips as the mare on top grinded against her barrel while planting playful nips and licks from chin to neck. A white hoof braced against the wood as she went further down the pink mare. Another pleasured groan, then a pair of eyes fluttered open. The blue in them seemed hazy as they focused on me.

“Oh. Hiya, Twilight!” chirped the owner of those eyes, with Pinkie’s voice.

“TWILIGHT?!” yelped a voice that sounded just like Rarity’s, though a bit huskier. The mare on top pulled away from her partner with so much force, she toppled off the table with a squeak and a thud.

I blinked.

Pinkie Pie had her head tilted at an angle, still in her upside down pose on the table. She eventually rolled right side up, propped her head on her forehooves, and eagerly watched me like I was her favorite show. I even expected her to take out a tub of popcorn out of nowhere. No, I hoped she would, because that would mean this was nothing more than an elaborate setup. But she didn’t.

When I glanced to the side, Rarity was scowling at me while she struggled to sort out her mane. Her puffed up cheeks glowed like a Hearth’s Warming fire, though her furrowed brows spelled confusion more than anger.

I squeezed my eyes shut and lit up my horn. The magic pinched much harder than I meant to; I bet I left a mark on my cheek. But when I opened my eyes again, the scene didn’t change one bit.

“Twilight, darling,” Rarity’s voice was a notch higher than usual as she slowly drew out each syllable. Good, she knows how to handle hungover ponies experiencing shock. “This is... It’s not what it looks like.”

“But Rarity, it’s exactly what it looks like!”

White hoof met hornbase. Rarity shook her head and then they started to go back and forth about... something. I was too shot to process what it was.

I didn’t want any of this. I just wanted to get rid of this headache and go back to sleep. All I needed for that was a glass of water and some willow bark. In fact, I’d need it more than before now that my brain was threatening to explode. Too much information. Cannot parse. Error! Error! I tried to explain this to my friends as eloquently as I could, but somewhere along the way, I must have forgotten how my muzzle worked. All that came out of me was a strangled, “Bwuh?”

“Now, Twilight, please do not freak out on us before I could expl--”

“She looks fine to me!”

“Pinkie Pie, another word and I might just hit you.”

“Sure thing! You know I like it~♫”

Clearly, the amusement subject Pinkius Piecus found in this situation was inversely proportional to that of subject Raritysius Rex. This was made obvious in that an increase of Pinkius’ giggles was answered with an increase in Raritysius’ scathing comments and tendency to facehoof. Whether Raritysius meant the threats or not was yet to be observed by this researcher. However, the lack of bodily harm on Pinkius Piecus and the furtive smiles and glances the subjects often exchanged may be evidence, if insufficient, of some mutually shared sentiment. As such, the results were yet to be conclusive.

I exhaled heavily. I should’ve taken more notes on this before. But then, neither was I the type to let slip a chance to make up for lost research opportunities. I felt a sudden need for a quill and where did Spike put the parchment again? I needed to make some checklists and where was that musky scent coming from? It’s been distracting me with inappropriate thoughts ever since I entered the... the...

I stared at my two friends still engrossed in their argument.

Sweet Celestia on a pogo stick! Why didn’t I see this before?!

“Hwaitaminutyoutwoo,” I spluttered, still not quite sure how to work my tongue ever since the gears in my head overheated. They watched me expectantly, but it took a few more false starts before I finally got the words out. “What were you... Just now, the table... You two were dating and you never told me?!”

I simultaneously heard a vehement “No!” and a chipper “Yes!” followed by what I assumed were explanations. I caught a few words about princes and oatmeal. A prince called Oatmeal, perhaps? Either way, none of it made sense because my friends kept talking over each other.

“One at a time!”

“--blood, of course!”

What? Blood? What?

I gaped at Rarity, who replied with an awkward smile and an even more awkward cough.

“Ahem. Yes. Anyway, “ she cleared her throat again, growing increasingly uncomfortable with her words, “There’s nothing to tell, darling. We’re not--”

“Rarity loves me!” Pinkie Pie cut in and I preemptively winced at the fresh round of bickering sure to follow. It didn’t come, however. I peered at my unicorn friend, expecting to at least see a hint of barely restrained belligerence bubbling under the surface.

Instead, Rarity wore the same expression she’d have when a particular dress was turning out unexpectedly better than her initial designs. This caught Pinkie’s attention and the pair of them locked eyes for a minute or two to exchange furrowed eyebrows, quirked lips, and other small facial movements. I suddenly felt left out and briefly wondered if Rarity knew a spell that enabled telepathic communication.

No, Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie-ness would be a more likely reason.

“It’s all okay now! Okay?” Pinkie concluded with a clap of her forehooves. They turned to face me, wearing identical solemn expressions that fit well on Rarity but looked odd on Pinkie Pie.

“Twilight, my dear, we have a confession...”

*

The following day, Rarity sat us down before our so-late-it-can’t-even-be-called-brunch meal to tell the truth of her relationship with Pinkie Pie while the said earth pony silently bobbed up and down the seat beside... her marefriend. When all was over, Pinkie seemed even more bouncy, Applejack looked out of it, and Fluttershy was smiling at everypony. I was still trying to wrap my head around everything since last night, so I must have looked out of it as well. Beside me, Rainbow Dash was trembling.

“You all right, Dashie?”

Pinkie lightly poked Rainbow’s side, but the pegasus shrugged her off. If looks could shoot lightning bolts, there would be a scorching hole where Rarity was seated from the way Rainbow was glaring. That didn’t last too long, though. She lunged over the table and would have kicked Rarity’s head to next Tuesday if Fluttershy hadn’t acted fast enough to hold back the seething pegasus.

“What. Is. Your. Problem?” said Rarity through gritted teeth. She stood her full height, hooves planted on the floor as if she were facing that manticore all over again. I positioned myself by her side, ready to intervene in case she, too, decided to get physical.

“You’re ashamed of her, that’s what!” Rainbow Dash spat out between yellow hooves, her wings fully splayed. “You don’t deserve to be with her!”

“Pardon me, but our keeping it secret had nothing to do with shame!”

“That’s why you always go on about how much you like stallions? ‘Cause that’s like, the best way to be proud of your marefriend!”

“I am proud of her!” Rarity stomped a hoof, her nostrils flaring with each word. “How dare you even--”

“Years, Rarity!” Rainbow struggled much harder than before that Fluttershy had to resort to mounting her in a complicated wing-and-head lock. “We’re supposed to be your best friends! How long have you known me and Fluttershy? Twilight? Hay, how long have you known Applejack? You never even bothered to tell us!”

“We told everypony just now, did we not?”

“Yeah, sure. Like that doesn’t m--hrmph!”

Whatever Rainbow was trying to say then, we would never know. Somepony had pulled her away from her retainer and the next thing anypony knew, Pinkie Pie was muzzle-to-muzzle with the blue pegasus.

I involuntarily took a step back, my flank bumping the table. I heard something fall to the floor. It must’ve been a teaspoon, or maybe my jaw again.

“Enough, okay?” Pinkie licked her lips before glancing over at her marefriend.

Rarity was on the floor, struggling to get back on her hooves. Her knees must have given out when all her tension evaporated in light of the kiss. She shook her head and tutted, “Pinkie, my love, you shouldn’t mess with other ponies’ heads like that.”

Sure enough, Rainbow Dash was too shocked to do anything more than drop on her haunches, eyes wide and mouth open. She came around a few moments later, or at least I thought she did when she spoke up.

“You kissed me.”

“Uh, yeah?” Pinkie rubbed a hoof behind her head and shot me a questioning look. I shrugged, No, Pinkie Pie, I don’t know what kind of damage you did to her either.

“Why does everypony have to steal kisses from the Dash? Is it too much to at least ask me out first?” Rainbow grumbled, sounding much like how the Crusaders would after another failed attempt for a cutie mark. Creases slowly formed between her eyes and I could practically hear the gears in her head whirring and churning. When things finally sunk in, she was torn between confused, ticked off, and completely horrified. “Pinkie Pie, you kissed me! Why did you... Everypony’s here and... No no no, I won’t be killed so easily!”

I opened my mouth to comment about murdering ponies, but Pinkie beat me to it.

“Silly, Dashie!” she snickered. “Why would anypony want to kill you?”

“You kissed me!” repeated Rainbow, as if that explained everything. When the snickers evolved into giggles, she helplessly glanced at Fluttershy then Applejack. But Fluttershy was hiding behind her mane and Applejack was still too deep in thought to be of any use.

I opened my mouth to help clear things up, but, again, somepony had to interrupt.

“If it bothers you so much, no, I don’t actually mind.” Rarity was on her haunches now, a teacup hovering in front of her. She took a sip, made a face, then levitated the cup back to the table.

Meanwhile, everpony gaped at her. Except her own marefriend, who devolved into a laughing mess on the floor. I found this very concerning. I opened my mouth to voice that concern, but Fluttershy... Was everypony doing this on purpose?

“So you don’t mind seeing Pinkie kiss, um, other ponies?”

“I’m too used to her antics,” Rarity sighed and watched her marefriend giggle and roll all over the room, “so I let her do whatever she likes.”

“So no more fighting, Dashie! Rarity luuurves me!” Pinkie Pie sprang up and put a foreleg around Rainbow Dash to give her a noogie. For some reason, everypony got flustered at this. Except me. It wasn’t like the kiss, so I didn’t get what the fuss was about.

“And you love her too, right?”

I didn’t mean to sound skeptical. I didn’t even realize I said it outloud until I thought I saw Pinkie Pie shoot me an offended look, but that could’ve just easily been my imagination. Pinkie put on a grin so wide, her cheeks tensed to keep it from bursting her face. Even her voice sounded overly bubbly when she chirped, “Of course I do, silly filly!”

She pounced at Rarity from behind, pink legs wrapped snug around white neck. Her lips puckered out for an over-the-top smoochy face and proceeded to pepper Rarity’s cheek with wet kisses. Rarity struggled to maintain her composure, but her efforts eventually faltered. Soon, she was leaning her head ever so slightly to meet each kiss.

“That’s rather sweet, darling, but we ha-YAHN!”

Rarity suddenly shoved Pinkie Pie away, much of her white coat glowing in a full body blush. Pinkie had her tongue out between lips shaped into a devious smirk I’ve never seen her wear before, and the audacity to giggle-snort at her crime. This incensed her marefriend even more and a rolled up magazine flew in from who-knew-where to bop the party pony on the head.

“Pinkie Pie! We have company!”

“And that’s okay!” said Pinkie between giggles that soon turned into guffaws. I didn’t understand what she meant by that at all. A glimpse of Rarity’s raised eyebrows told me that she probably didn’t get it either.

When the laughter subsided, Pinkie Pie trotted up to Rarity’s side again and pulled her in an embrace much gentler than the one earlier. She nuzzled a spot under Rarity’s chin, occasionally moving up to offer a peck on the cheek. Rarity was still scowling, though she didn‘t do anything to protest. Soon, even her scowl melted into an expression that brought only one word to my mind: bliss.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“And I love you, too!”

At that, I cleared my throat and brought out all the sincerity I could muster. “In any case, I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Oh, you two make such a cute couple!” chimed in Fluttershy, beaming at everypony. She seemed to be waiting for something, but after a few moments of dead air, she nudged Rainbow Dash with a wing.

“I guess it’s a’ight.” Rainbow Dash didn’t seem completely out of her stupor yet. But before Fluttershy could do so much as look concerned, Pinkie Pie had pulled everypony into a group hug.

“Aww, shucks. Thanks, girls!” piped in Pinkie’s voice within our five-pony pile.

Wait, somepony’s missing...

“Applejack, why in Equestria are you not joining us?” I traced Rarity’s gaze to the said farm pony sitting at the table, seemingly content to watch us from that distance. That was, until she shook her head hard enough to make her hat fall off.

“Huh? Sorry, y’all.” Applejack let out an exaggerated yawn, made a scrunchy face, then briefly looked at the ceiling. “I musta fell asleep with my eyes open.”

“Well, do wake up and come over here, darling. You’re missing out on a group hug!”

Applejack picked up her hat and joined in between me and Rainbow Dash.

After a few minutes of hugging and cuddling each other, we all settled around the table for our meal. Pinkie Pie was daring Rainbow Dash to pour extra-hot-rainbow-level-spicy sauce on her pancakes. Fluttershy and Rarity seemed to be engrossed on some juicy gossip, both their faces flushed. Beside me, Applejack was poking her alfalfa in disinterest.

“Not hungry?” She didn’t seem to hear me, though she shrugged and stopped poking her food.

“Shoulda seen it sooner,” mumbled Applejack, mostly to herself. I followed her withering gaze to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash poking and teasing each other. I couldn’t help smiling at the sight of my friends enjoying themselves, but something in Applejack’s statement worried me.

Especially when I noticed Rarity watching the same scene, before heaving out a sigh then looking away.

Chapter 1, in which Twilight hears a lot of first kiss stories

Rules of the Party
#1: You do not talk about it.
#2: You do NOT talk about it.

*

It all started with a game. Everything else snowballed from there.

"Everypony Has To Answer Truthfully" was either some variation of Truth Or Dare or something Pinkie Pie made up on the spot. To be sure, I grabbed my personal copy of Sleepovers: A Complete Reference Guide from the shelves while somepony-- probably Rainbow Dash-- spun a bottle so we could have a starting point. I wished it wouldn’t stop and point at me, but then I always had this habit of tempting fate.

“So, Twilight...”

"Your first kiss," I answered without thinking. Rainbow Dash laughed so hard, she was kicking and rolling on the floor. A blue hoof shot out and knocked my book across the room, earning her a glare and a threat of revoking Daring Do borrowing privileges if she didn't respect my books. That sobered her up quickly.

"But seriously, Twilight?” Rainbow's words stumbled between some leftover snickering. “That’s the best you could do?"

"How ‘bout we start with you, then, RD? Since yer mouth’s moving an’ all." Applejack was leaning casually against one of the beds, appraising the pegasus in question with a challenging smirk.

Rainbow Dash took a step back, flaring her wings defensively. "Whoa, what’s up with you?”

"What do you think?"

I glanced between my two friends and sighed. Here we go again...

I was still fairly new to slumber parties, so I didn't know all the rules and conventions. I hadn't read about this in any of my reference books, but ever since my first slumber party, my friends always seemed to end up bickering over one thing or another. And yet come morning, everything seemed peachy as if they hadn't spent the whole night arguing. Was this a normal thing? Was there an unwritten or unspoken rule that this had to happen in every slumber party ever?

I tuned out Applejack and Rainbow Dash's argument. It was just their usual back and forth, after all. Instead, I focused my attention to the rest of my friends.

Rarity seemed nervous for some reason, her eyes darting around as she furtively whispered with Pinkie Pie. Funny, I was expecting her to be more excited over "the juicy details." Pinkie, on the other hoof, was being her normal giggly self while poking Rarity on the ribs. On the other other hoof, Fluttershy was the one most excited about this, or at least the sparkle in her eyes told me as much.

“Besides, Twilight goes first!" Rainbow Dash suddenly declared, interrupting my thoughts.

"Actually, I go last. Says so in the Spin-the-Bottle section in page 69.” I levitated the sleepover manual in front of her, but she knocked it out of the way, deliberately this time. A week of no Daring Do, then. I did warn her.

"I still don't see why we're doing this instead of Truth or Dare."

"Maybe 'cause somepony here,” Applejack mock-glared at said somepony, “never chooses Truth, and we all like to hear what she has to say this time ‘round."

"Hey!” Rainbow shot to the air and got in Applejack’s face, the rush knocking the Stetson off the earth pony’s head. “You guys don't call Fluttershy out for never choosing Dare!" She pointed a hoof at the other pegasus, who reflexively squeaked and ducked behind Rarity and Pinkie to avoid Rainbow’s mark.

"Girls, settle down!" I cried out before things got ugly. Applejack sort of shrugged and put her hat back on. Fluttershy peeked from between our two other friends, but made no move to scoot out of her hiding place. Rainbow Dash sat back down and ruffled her feathers.

"This is boring,” she huffed.

"I bet yer just whinin’ to get out of answering."

"Well, I'm not hearing you answer the question."

"Psh, that's easy. A lil colt I met when I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle Orange. He was so cute’n sweet. Called him Bubblegum, though I’m pretty sure that ain’t his real name.” Applejack smiled wistfully. “Sure, I was feelin' awful homesick my whole stay there, but I liked hangin' out and playin' with him. Come to think of it now, I never got t'stay in touch..." She trailed off, thoughtfully rubbing a hoof under her chin. When she remembered where she was, she shook her head then nodded at Rainbow Dash. "Your turn, pardner."

"Mine's with Rarity!"

"Pinkie! You promised!"

Everypony’s head whipped around to the source of the outburst. Pinkie Pie smiled at us apologetically, or she tried to while having both forehooves over her mouth. Beside her, Rarity was on all four hooves. Her cheeks were a shade darker than a certain party pony’s mane.

"But I didn’t promise. You said,” Pinkie then ran a hoof through her mane unmistakably the way Rarity did, “‘I shan’t tell anypony anything! Not ever! That is one, nay, the story I shall take to my cold grave!’ And then I said, ‘uh-huh, sure thing, Rarity,’ which totally didn’t mean I don’t get to tell them my story!”

Rarity was turning colors. She opened her mouth several times, but closed it again every time with no retort. Maybe she was grasping for some air. She did seem to be on the verge of either falling into a dramatic breakdown or stiffening into a pony statue.

“Rarity? Are you okay?” Fluttershy poked her from behind.

Everypony else went silent as they processed what they’d just heard and seen.

Except for Applejack. She was snickering.

"Geez, Rare,” she playfully nudged the unicorn. “I never pegged you for the fillyfoolin' type."

That somehow brought Rarity back to life.

"I'm not!” She stomped a hoof to punctuate. “I like stallions!”

“You always say that,” Pinkie chimed in, her smile tight. “You say that to everypony, but...”

“Ugh, FINE!” Rarity threw her forelegs to the air in frustration. She then screamed her next words all the way to the Everfree Forest in full dramatic glory, ”I confess! Guilty as charged! My first kiss was with Pinkie Pie!" before collapsing on top of Fluttershy.

Another length of awkward silence. Save for Rarity’s wails against Fluttershy’s chest and some soothing there, there’s.

“Wow,” was all I could say.

“Oh. My. GOSH!” Rainbow flitted all over the room, squeeing the whole time. “Seriously? You and Rarity? This I sooo gotta hear!”

“Rarity?”

Pinkie spoke the name with such softness I never heard from her before. At the moment, Rarity seemed determined to merge either with my bedroom floor or with Fluttershy, but she stopped sniffling enough to shoot Pinkie a pleading look. Apparently, that was all Pinkie needed.

"Okay! It happened a few months after I moved to Ponyville to live with my Granny Pie. Me and Rarity first met in school. We sat next to each other because, you know, P is for Pinkie and R is for Rare-y. So we saw each other a lot, but we didn’t get along much because she was a little miss Serious McGrumpypants.”

“I was not a, ah, McGrumpypants,” Rarity muttered, her voice muffled against Fluttershy. “I simply didn’t like you back then. You kept beating my scores in math and,” she winced, “art studies.”

“Right,” Pinkie Pie giggled then rolled her eyes. “Rarity was super-duper serious about her grades, but Pinkie could care less about that. I mean, I test well and all, but I didn’t study much because I was too busy planning the funnest fun parties for everypony.

“Anyway, Rarity didn’t like me and that bothered me a lot. Because, you know, how can I make her smile when she wouldn’t attend a single party I threw, right? We ended up trading a lot of jabs at each other back then. Well, Rarity made a lot of jabs. I just kept inviting her to do some of the cool-mac-awesomest-est stuff with me, but I guess that irritated her more.

“That was, until things heated up between us so much that we ended up tangling legs and rolling in the hay and--” Rarity quickly sat up and jabbed a hoof at Pinkie’s chest.

“Now you hold it right there! I only let you tell the story because I trust you would tell it as truthfully as possible.”

“But that was how it happened!”

“You are taking things out of context.” Rarity huffed then properly sat on her haunches to face the rest of us. “We were playing a game for Physical Education--what was it called, again? It’s similar to hoofball, with less rules and more contact. Anyway, it was a rough and dirty game. We were in opposing teams, as was usual of us at the time. During one round, I had possession of the ball then Pinkie Pie tackled me to the ground. Instead of escaping and continuing the game, however, I responded in kind. We ended up rolling all over the field, fighting to get the upper hoof on the other.”

“I wasn’t trying to do that, though.” Pinkie shrugged and caught a certain pegasus’ eye across the room.

“Yes, well, either way,” Rarity scrutinized the pink mare as if daring her to interrupt again, now that she took over the storytelling. Pinkie didn’t notice it, though. She was too busy exchanging funny faces and gestures with Rainbow Dash. “I eventually had her pinned to the ground. I was fully ready to gloat over my small victory, when all of the sudden--”

“I kissed her on the lips!” blurted Pinkie without missing a beat from her ‘game’ with Rainbow Dash. “And she liked it!”

“How many times must I tell you? I did not like it at all!” Rarity made another punctuating stomp, this one hard enough to punch a hole on my floor. Pinkie Pie merely tilted her head ninety degrees and smiled wide enough to split her face in two.

“So you always kiss back even if you don’t like it?”

“When are y’all gonna stop flirting?” interrupted Applejack. She was lying on her side, her head propped up on a forehoof so she wouldn’t nod off so easily. “So you kissed while wrasslin’ at school. Lez just leave it at that.” A yawn. “I dunno about you two, but I wanna hear Rainbow’s story sometime before sun-up.”

"Oh, right! It's Dashie's turn!"

The sudden attention made Rainbow Dash uncharacteristically wilt and paw at the floor. She seemed to be weighing her options, but reckoned she might as well suck it up and get it over with.

"Just to be clear. Nopony else hears about this, right?" She studied me specifically, for some reason.

"Anything we say here would never leave this room,” I assured. Everypony else chimed in with their own two bits.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly..."

"Oh my, is it that juicy a secret?"

“...stick a cupcake in my eye!”

"Well? Time to 'fess up, RD."

It was somewhat disconcerting to see Rainbow Dash emulate Fluttershy’s habit of hiding behind her mane, especially since there's too little prismatic hair to go around.

“I, uh, I haven't had mine yet."

Applejack made a low whistle. "Now that's somethin' I ain’t expecting from a heartbreaker like you."

"Whatever.” Rainbow Dash continued, her cheeks growing redder with each word. “It's not like I have some sappy reason like waiting for some special moment with a special somepony to share that special first kiss. I’m not Rarity.” She snorted then rolled her eyes. Rarity did not appreciate the sentiment at all.

“Pardon me, Rainbow Dash, but what are you trying to--”

"I-I'm sorry!”

Fluttershy, who was silent for most of the night, appeared just as shocked as the next pony at her own outburst. She instinctively curled up, but her eyes shone solidly as she peered at the only other pegasus in the room.

Rainbow Dash was just confused.

"Say what now?"

“Um, well, you see,” Fluttershy shifted side to side, her mane swaying to cover more of her form. “There was this one time at, um, flight camp. We had just finished the day with some drills, and you were tired enough to fall asleep beside me. I thought you looked so cute, I kinda...”

"You thought I... you, WHAT?!"

A blue blur shot across the room and collided with the yellow pegasus. The two rolled over each other from the force until they ended up with Rainbow Dash standing over a quivering Fluttershy. The way she towered over her oldest friend intimidated Fluttershy into some sort of... explanation? Apology? All I understood was that the more Fluttershy spoke, the more she shrank to sizes I never thought possible for a grown mare.

"I really didn't mean to, honest! I-I didn't even know what I was doing until after I did it. Oh, please forgive me, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow Dash was torn on how to feel about the confession and it showed on her face. She eventually settled on a grimace as if she had sat on something hard and pointy. She regarded the other pegasus with a steely glare before getting off her.

"You and I have a lot to talk after this, Fluttershy. A lot."

What’s with this night and long awkward pauses?

Rarity stiffly turned towards me. "So what about you, darling? Have you ever had the fortune, or misfortune, of having kissed or been kissed by somepony?"

"Well..."

I told my friends about the life of study and magic-- of how, as a little filly of endless curiosity, I stumbled upon a genre of fiction not fit for my young eyes. Of course, this resulted in a flood of questions my books couldn’t adequately answer. I consulted the best resource called first-hand experience, and showered the pony I admired with gifts, flowers, poetry-- the works. Being much older than me, the pony of my affections cornered me one day to explain to me the intricacies of romance and why she could not return my feelings. She did appreciate the sentiment though, and obliged to grant me a small favor.

I told them, but not in so many words.

“Princess Celestia. I was just a filly.”

Right then, I just broke the running record for longest and most awkward silence of the night.

“Uh, Twi? Ain’t that like sexual harassment?”