"Diplomatic Relations"

by FoughtDragon01

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 9625

Celestia invites Chrysalis to Canterlot in order to discuss the possibility of repairing the relationship between changelings and ponies. Just about everyone else thinks that the two are discussing a relationship of a different kind.

Celestia was fully aware of the risks that came with accepting this undertaking. She was fully aware that allowing Chrysalis back into not only Equestria, but into Canterlot, could easily backfire if she wasn't careful. She was aware of the panic that would ensue if word of Chrysalis' presence were to get out into the city, and she was aware that she needed to remain absolutely vigilant if things were to run smoothly.

What she wasn't aware of was that two females spending extended periods of time with each other, even if it was for official business, could be very easily seen as something else.

It likely doesn't help that their actions to follow won't exactly dissuade others from this idea.

It definitely doesn't help that Chrysalis herself is just a bit too happy to 'discuss things' with the princess.

"Diplomatic relations", indeed.

Published 2014-03-07 17:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-07 17:30:04 UTC

Just Royal Business...

Celestia swallowed down another nervous lump in her throat as she stood in the center of her garden. Normally, she went out there in order to calm herself. The gardeners certainly knew how to give such a place a sense of tranquility, and the various animals skittering and fluttering about only added to the atmosphere. The ambient sounds of chattering squirrels and chirping birds, the lovely aroma from the numerous flowers, it was all exactly what Celestia needed after a stressful day. Yet this time was different.

The surrounding ambiance was little more than a droning buzz in her ears. She took in a deep breath, taking in the calming aroma of the surrounding flowers in an attempt to calm her nerves. That breath came back out as a tired sigh, the lovely scent doing nothing to alleviate her anxiety.

She brought her gaze up to the sky, placing a hoof over her eyes to block out the light. In that vast sea of blue sat the sun, her sun, shining brightly as it covered Equestria in its light. High noon, the agreed upon time of arrival. It was only a matter of minutes before her guest arrived, assuming things had gone smoothly, of course. There were already risks in sending her guards away to such a far away land; sending them to one that was still considered hostile by most Equestrians only further added to those risks.

Celestia, however, felt that things would go accordingly. All things considered, her ‘special guest’ was hardly in a position to do anything drastic, not without endangering what little she had left. Not that Celestia wanted things to come to that.

In actuality, she was less concerned with the risks of her actions and more concerned with the plans she had in store. It was no easy feat breaking through that stubborn exterior, finally convincing her to visit, albeit under justifiably strict conditions. What was to follow would be the harder part: simply holding conversation.

Their last meeting was hardly under favorable circumstances, and even now, in what could be very loosely described as 'the best of times’, relations were as volatile as they could be without both sides plummeting into another large-scale conflict. It was imperative that Celestia remain in control at all times, not to let a single detail go amiss. Allowing the enemy back into the nation could end in disaster if anything slipped by. After so much planning, however, she felt confident that things would play out accordingly, but those worries would keep scratching at the back of her mind until the moment all of this finally passed.

Rapidly approaching hoofbeats tore Celestia away from her thoughts. Turning around, she found one of the maids running towards her, a small wooden box floating next to her in a light blue aura. As she grew nearer, Celestia quickly fixed a worried frown that she didn’t even know she had, replacing it with her textbook warm smile. She must’ve been more anxious than she thought.

“Your Highness! There you are,” the maid called, slowing to a stop before bowing.

“Ah, hello there,” Celestia calmly greeted. “Has something come up?”

After taking a much-needed moment to catch her breath, the maid looked back up at Celestia. “Nothing negative. I simply wanted to inform you that the preparations throughout the city have been completed, including your requested jewelry.”

Celestia’s smile widened slightly as the maid placed the box at her hooves. Just as she expected, everything was completed right on time. Now it was just a matter of waiting. “Thank you,” she said with a nod.

Without missing a beat, she turned away, staring back out into the sky. Normally, that would’ve been the time when she heard most ponies make a quiet departure. This time, however, several seconds ticked by without her hearing the telltale sound of hooves against the ground. Internally sighing, Celestia turned her head back towards the maid, who was nervously scraping the ground with her hoof.

“Is something wrong?” Celestia asked.

The nervous mare shot her head back up with a start. “Oh, er, nothing is wrong per se," she said, carefully choosing every single word. "It’s just that the others and I have noticed something a bit… unusual, I suppose?” Celestia arched a curious eyebrow, prompting the maid to continue. “It isn’t often that you don’t specify who a certain guest is. It may not be my place to ask, but is there something about this guest that makes her different from the others?”

Celestia didn’t answer immediately, instead shutting her eyes and letting the maid stew in the silence. The perceptiveness of her staff rarely did fail to impress her. She was right; Celestia was particularly sparse in her descriptions of this guest. The most that they all knew was that it was a female. This, of course, was not without good reason. If word got out, the ensuing panic would risk jeopardizing her plans. Still, that didn’t stop Celestia from breaking the silence with a soft chuckle.

“Different,” she said, more to herself than to the mare. “I wish she was different.” She opened her eyes, looking back down at the mare. “She’s one who simply refuses to change.” Another soft chuckle passed through her lips. “The irony is not lost on me.” She quickly fixed her face when she saw that her remark did little more than confuse the mare. “My apologies. To answer your question, yes, she is different from past visitors. She and I share a… personal affiliation. I don’t wish to say anything more on the matter. I hope you understand.”

The mare wasted no time in nodding, though she was unable to hide the blush spreading across her face. Surely, there was a multitude of interpretations behind Celestia’s words, yet the mare couldn’t keep her mind from thinking about that kind of ‘personal affiliation’. “Er, o-of course I do!” she said, suddenly all too eager to drop the subject herself. “I’ll just… leave you be.”

Celestia gave her another gracious nod. “Thank you.” Once again, she turned back towards the sky, this time hearing the mare’s hooffalls as she trotted away. Not a moment too soon, either.

Celestia felt breath catch in her throat, her eyes widening ever so slightly as they spotted a small dot off in the distance. It could’ve been easy to assume that it was simply a pegasus, but as that dot grew closer, allowing Celestia to make out the shape of the approaching chariot, she knew that it was her. The golden chariot glistened in the sunlight as it drew closer towards the castle. That nervous lump returned to her throat, a growing sense of anxiety building up in her gut as the seconds silently ticked by.

Soon enough, the chariot touched down in the middle of the garden, slowing to a stop in front of Celestia. This was it, no turning back now. After all, it was rude to keep company waiting.

Putting on a calm smile, she approached her guest. As she grew closer, one of the chariot's doors creaked open. A single, black, perforated leg stepped out. The instant that it touched the ground, it felt as though all surrounding activity came to a dead halt, plummeting the garden into an unnerving silence.

Celestia soon came to a stop, leaving only mere feet between herself and a certain someone that she knew all too well. “Hello, Chrysalis. I’m glad to see that you’ve arrived safely.”

The Changeling Queen took a cursory glance at her surroundings, scrunching her nose at the lingering aroma in the air. She soon focused her attention on Celestia, her eyes brimming with indifference. Yet she didn’t speak. Not immediately, at least.

Despite her standoffish behavior, Celestia’s calm demeanor didn’t falter. “I’m aware that you must be very busy with managing your Hive, especially while it’s still facing rather… difficult times.” She wasn’t surprised that her statement elicited a glare from Chrysalis, and continued unfazed. “I wouldn’t take you away from that unless I was absolutely serious about my intentions.”

A short chortle left Chrysalis’ muzzle, Celestia’s words hardly registering as sincere. “You must be if you’re not only allowing me back into the very city I intended to overthrow, but also sending a pair of your own to the heart of my Hive. This is rather reckless of you, wouldn’t you agree?”

Celestia glanced over to the pair of guards, a mare and stallion. Though to the average pony it would seem that their stone-faced visage hadn’t cracked in the slightest, Celestia could see the subtle hints. Legs trembling ever so slightly, the smallest beads of sweat glistening on their foreheads, that nervous glint in their eyes. They were undoubtedly terrified during their journey to the changeling Hive, and understandably so. Ponies and changelings were hardly on friendly terms; a pair of Royal Guards appearing in changeling territory must’ve been met with immense disdain. Chrysalis, however, must’ve informed the Hive of their arrival; if not, then they likely wouldn’t have returned. Thankfully, they seemed physically unharmed, which was likely as good as it could get.

“There were risks, yes,” Celestia admitted, “but I am grateful that you’ve done nothing to harm them.”

Another sinister chuckle passed through Chrysalis’ lips, sending a visible shiver down the two guards’ spines. Clearly, it wasn’t their first time hearing that same chuckle. “So quick to assume the best,” Chrysalis said. “Who’s to say that I haven’t simply replaced your precious guards with my own children?”

Despite the rather dire implications behind such a remark, Celestia did little more than chuckle herself, much to Chrysalis’ annoyance. “Well, for one, I doubt that you would tell me such a thing if it were true. Secondly, if they were changelings, I would’ve known long before you arrived. Ever since the invasion, I’ve taken many precautions to ensure that such a thing doesn’t happen again.”

With a huff, Chrysalis averted her eyes from the princess, her annoyance quickly replaced by that indifferent stare of hers. “Well, aren’t you the cautious one?”

“I simply don’t wish to take chances,” Celestia calmly responded. “However, I still hope that we can at least have a fairly better time with each other than we did during our last encounter. Speaking of which…” Celestia’s horn lit up in its golden light, levitating the wooden box up to her.

Upon seeing it, Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed as she eyed it with immense suspicion. “And what is that?” she asked.

“A present.” Celestia lifted the lid, revealing a sight that made Chrysalis’ eyes go wide.

Resting in a bed of red velvet lay a necklace. Its string was a glistening black, nearly matching Chrysalis’ own chitin exterior. However, the most impressive piece by far was the jewelry that the string looped through. A perfect ring of solid gold that nearly blinded Chrysalis as it glistened in the sunlight. In the center of the ring was a small green gem, one that seemed to glow with a kind of ethereal light. Most peculiar, however, was the fact that the gem didn’t seem to be connected to any sort of supporting frame, freely rotating in the ring’s center in some invisible field.

Celestia grabbed hold of the necklace and brought it up to Chrysalis, who could only stare at it, eyes wide with genuine surprise. Celestia expected her to eventually take it, but after the next several seconds ticked by with Chrysalis doing little more than gawking at it, she safely assumed that that wasn’t going to happen.

“Is something wrong?” she finally asked. “I thought it was changeling tradition for the host to offer the guest something that alters their appearance.”

Chrysalis snapped out of her small state of shock, bringing her eyes back up to Celestia, glaring at her. “What game are you trying to play?” she asked, voice low and somber.

Celestia’s mouth curled into a small frown as she lowered the necklace. “I’m playing no game. As I said, I am very serious about this. I want us to spend this day as equals rather than enemies, and I assumed that this would be the best place to start.” She gave the necklace an enticing shake. “Go on. Take it. This isn’t a trick, I assure you.”

The grimace Chrysalis wore oozed with skepticism. As she looked back down at the necklace, however, that grimace disappeared when she heaved a yielding sigh. She averted her eyes from the piece of jewelry shortly after, and Celestia could’ve sworn that she saw the faint reddish hints of a blush spread across her cheeks.

Soon enough, Chrysalis finally took—or snatched, rather—the necklace from Celestia’s magical grip. Wordlessly, she hung it around her neck, letting the golden ring swing down and bounce off of her chest with an audible clink.

There was a bit of a shock-induced delay between Chrysalis accepting the gift and Celestia responding. Admittedly, she was a bit surprised by how smoothly that had all gone, even if Chrysalis was still trying to remain as emotionally detached as possible. Still, she supposed that she shouldn’t have been too surprised.

A few short seconds of nothing passed before Chrysalis snuck in a sideways glance towards Celestia. “And what exactly are you waiting for?” she asked.

Celestia’s smile remained warm and unwavering. “A ‘thank you’ would be nice,” she said simply.

The slightest hints of a scowl came across Chrysalis’ face as she glanced down at the piece of jewelry. “Yes, I suppose I could thank you. But I won’t.”

The bluntness of her answer actually managed to elicit a short laugh from Celestia. Again, she shouldn’t have been too surprised. “Well, at least you acknowledged the possibility. That’s a start. Baby steps, after all.” As Chrysalis’ scowl grew just a bit more prominent, Celestia turned towards the two pegasi patiently waiting by the chariot. “Silver Shield. Gleaming Valor. You’re both free to return to your assigned posts. Don’t worry about the chariot. I’ll see to it that it's taken care of.”

Wordlessly, the stallion and mare undid their harnesses, gently lowering them to the ground before calmly trotting back into the castle.

Left alone, Celestia breathed a soft sigh as she stared back up into the sky. If all went well, then she would be done a little before time came for her to lower the sun. She just hoped that Chrysalis would be a bit more cooperative than most ponies would be willing to believe.

She was yanked back into reality when she heard a very impatient cough. “I hope that these plans of yours don’t turn out to be a gross waste of my time,” Chrysalis said, eyes teeming with distrust.

Celestia turned her calm gaze towards the queen. “And I hope that today doesn’t come across as such. I suppose we should get to it then. Best if we begin these negotiations immediately."

"Mhmm."

Celestia's ears perked at the sudden utterance. The skepticism behind Chrysalis' tone did not go unnoticed by her. "Is there something wrong?"

Chrysalis quickly waved a dismissive hoof. "Oh, no. Not at all. I'm simply getting myself excited for what will no doubt be an exhilarating day."

A slight frown came across Celestia's face. If sarcasm was something that was literally as natural to Chrysalis as breathing, she would've hardly been surprised. Still, her behavior thus far had been more or less exactly what Celestia had been expecting. Whether that would makes things easier or harder in the future was yet to be seen.

"Very well. If you’ll follow me.” With that, Celestia led Chrysalis into the depths of the castle. She couldn’t afford to make any mistakes now. If things were to go well, she needed to maintain control, an easy feat if Chrysalis simply behaved herself. Considering who Celestia was dealing with, she had more than enough reason to stay on guard. Expect the unexpected and all that.

It was just a shame that she couldn’t see into Chrysalis’ thoughts. Otherwise, she’d have been able to see the simply devious smirk that the queen was doing an excellent job of concealing. Little did she know, her precious plans were going to take quite the unexpected turn, one that even she wouldn't see coming.

Contrary to what the masses may have believed, Canterlot’s Royal Guard wasn’t composed entirely of emotionally dead ponies with hearts of granite. Yes, there was the occasional buzzkill sprinkled throughout the ranks, but even they shone in comparison to the stereotypes that the average pony believed. In fact, the guards were, for the most part, just as talkative and socially involved as anypony else. However, they simply needed to readjust their behavior while on duty, a concept that was rather common in a multitude of professions, yet still always managed to fly over everypony’s heads.

The guards’ quarters especially was a place where those otherwise unspeaking sentries could take the time to unwind and chat with friends and associates on all manner of subjects. Unfortunately, in this particular instance, the subject that Gleaming Valor wanted to talk about was one that Silver Shield would’ve loved to forget about.

“Did you see the same thing I did?” Valor asked, voice hushed as she rummaged through her trunk for her golden palace armor, her silver traveling armor already set off to the side (Yes, there was a difference). She took a moment to look up at her comrade. “Please tell me you did.”

Shield could only quietly sigh to himself as he removed his silver helm, holding it underneath his foreleg. “Celestia having a friendly chat with one of the most dangerous enemies in Equestria’s history? Pretty hard to miss.” As he hung up his helm on a nearby rack, he heard Valor heave an irritated sigh.

“Well, duh. Anypony with a pair of working eyes can see that. I mean, did you see anything else?”

Another sigh left Shield’s lips as he gently searched through his trunk for his own gear. He spared a glance back at the talkative mare only to catch a glimpse of a wide smile that he was woefully familiar with. There was something on her mind, something that made sense to her and only her. Knowing that he was going to regret the question, Shield mentally steeled himself. “Okay, out with it. What was I supposed to see?”

He swore that her smile stretched a few inches wider. “They were totally flirting with each other!”

The quarters fell into complete and utter silence as the two ponies stared at each other, neither blinking. On multiple occasions, Shield opened his mouth to utter something, only to close it as he deemed the unspoken words incapable of properly expressing his confusion. All the while, Valor’s smile hardly faltered as she eagerly awaited the inevitable response.

Finally, Shield decided on the response that he felt appropriately represented all of his confusion, and then some. “What?”

“I’m serious!” Valor insisted.

The confusion on Shield’s face didn’t soften in the slightest. “I know you are, and that’s what worries me.”

“I mean, just think—” Valor suddenly stopped herself before she got too far into her explanation, her face going wide with suspicion. Cautiously, she scanned her eyes from left to right and from right to left, as though she was making sure that there were no eavesdroppers.

Apparently leaving nothing to chance, she motioned from Shield to come closer. He could only shake his head as he tried to find the words to express in equal parts his confusion and irritation. Unable to do so, he begrudgingly complied, taking a few steps towards the mare as she leaned her head in.

“Just think about it,” she repeated in a much softer tone. “You saw how they were acting when Chrysalis showed up. The first thing that Celestia did was give her a gift, for Pete’s sake!”

Shield rolling his eyes would’ve been more than enough to express his perfectly justifiable doubt, but he still felt the need to back it up verbally. “I think you need to take a break from long-distance travel. The thin air’s getting to your head.”

Valor’s eyes narrowed into a sharp gaze. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Weren’t you paying any attention? The gift was just a changeling tradition that Celestia was abiding by. That was it.”

“Hmph. For ‘changeling tradition’, Chrysalis definitely seemed flustered by it. I mean, you saw her, right? She looked like a lobster when Celestia gave her that necklace.”

“How would you react if your sworn enemy was suddenly showering you with presents? I know that common sense isn’t your thing, but come on. Or were too busy staring at clouds again to notice the stuff happening right in front of you?”

Whether it was because Shield just systematically shot down all of her evidence or because she herself was sick of talking to a brick wall, Valor heaved an annoyed sigh, taking a step back. “See, that’s the problem with stallions these days. Most of you guys wouldn’t know subtlety if it hit you in the back of the head.”

Shield arched an offended eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“You can’t just focus on the things up front and expect to completely understand what’s going on. This isn’t like a textbook where all of the info is thrown into your face. You have to look past the forefront to get a truer sense of what’s going on right in front of you.”

Silver Shield held up a single hoof, bringing Valor’s little soapbox moment to a premature end. “Okay, let me stop you right there, Arisaddle. First of all, I am excellent at picking up subtlety.”

“I doubt it,” Valor muttered, playfully rolling her eyes.

“Secondly,” Shield continued, unabated, “subtlety is something that’s subject to multiple interpretations, and right now, mine is different from yours. So unless it’s laid out plain that this is anything more than royal business, I’m not going to buy into whatever romanticized fantasy you’ve cooked up in that head of yours.”

Breathing a disappointed sigh, Valor just shrugged. “Oh, well. Suit yourself. But when we find out that I was right, don’t say that I didn’t tell you so.” In the blink of an eye, her eyes shot open, an absolutely devious smirk coming across her face. “Actually… Shield, since you seem so sure, how about you and I make a little bet?”

Silver Shield, arching an interested eyebrow, looked back towards his colleague. “A bet?”

“Yep. If there’s really nothing going on between those two, I’ll cover all of your shifts for the next month. But if it’s clear as day that they’ve got the hots for each other, then you’re treating me for drinks at any place of my choosing for the next month, and I like it expensive.”

Shield’s face fell into a more dubious look as he considered the implications behind that little offer. “But wouldn’t that require us to spy on them?”

Valor nodded, absolutely no shame on that beaming face of hers. “Uh-huh.”

“And couldn’t we get into serious trouble for that?”

“Only if we’re caught. Come on, don’t be a chicken. I know how curious you like to be.”

After a brief pause, Shield sighed. “If we do get caught, you’re going straight under the carriage.”

Valor’s smile couldn’t grow any wider if she tried. “Good enough for me!” In one swift movement, she brought her golden helm down on her head and made her way towards the door. “Let’s go, lover boy.”

She didn’t get very far before Shield placed a leg in her path. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’re starting now? But the princess wants us watching the halls to keep unexpected guests from interrupting her… discussion with Chrysalis.”

Valor’s smile didn’t diminish in the least. In fact, it only grew sly, a bit devious. “Oh, I know. That’s what the cardboard cutouts are for.”

“Now, if we’re to allow changelings into pony society, then the number of them in proportion to the number of ponies is to never exceed ten percent at any given time in any major city.”

“Mhmm.”

“For smaller settlements such as Ponyville and Appleoosa, this number drops to five percent.”

“Mhmm.”

“There will also be monthly checks in each city to ensure that this restriction is being abided by. Nothing physical will be involved, I promise. A harmless changeling-detection spell is all that it will be.”

“Mhmm.”

“It won’t be an easy transition, but I’m confident that the smaller cities will grow more tolerant of changelings within the span of a year. The larger cities will take considerably more time, but I doubt that it will be anything extreme.”

“Mhmm.”

As much as Celestia tried to maintain some semblance of professionalism, even she couldn’t keep herself from breathing a slightly—just slightly—annoyed sigh. She lowered the small stack of documents floating in front of her, setting them off to the side, as she looked up at the changeling queen lazily sitting on the cushion across from hers, a hoof gently, but repeatedly nudging the necklace dangling from her neck. It wasn’t difficult to discern who was and who wasn’t invested in this discussion of theirs.

Chrysalis certainly had little issue meeting Celestia’s gaze, her stone expression not faltering in the slightest—almost to a worrying degree—though she could’ve used some touching up in the ‘emoting’ department. For the brief seconds that Celestia spent waiting for anything in the way of reaction, not a single hint of emotion so much as flashed across Chrysalis’ face. In the end, the most that Celestia received wasn’t a word, a smile, or a frown, but a slightly raised eyebrow.

Again, Celestia sighed. Maintaining a professional atmosphere was going to prove more difficult than she thought. “Chrysalis, please. I’m trying to help you.”

This little plea, at the very least, made Chrysalis snicker, the most in the way of reaction that she displayed ever since the discussions began. “And what a fine job of that you’re doing, Your Highness.” If the sarcasm behind her voice were any more prominent, it’d be dribbling down her chin. Her mouth stretched into an even wider, satisfied smile as she watched the alicorn before her slowly sink into her seat.

Taking in a deep breath, Celestia rubbed her forehead as the beginnings of a headache reared its ugly head. She couldn’t say that she was surprised. It only made sense that Chrysalis' first spoken sentence during official business would be used to snark at her expense. She’d have been a fool to expect otherwise. She just wished that it didn’t make things so… difficult in the long run. Were things going about as well as she expected? More or less. Did that make it any more tolerable to endure? Goodness, no.

“Celestia, keep rubbing your forehead like that and you’ll leave a mark.”

Celestia’s eyes snapped open and fixated themselves on Chrysalis yet again. Taken out of her thoughts, she realized that her body had gone into autopilot, leaving her rubbing her head raw. However, a slightly reddened forehead was the least of her worries.

Some inner part of her mind screamed in frustration when she saw that Chrysalis, during her short mental departure from the outside world, had decided to casually lay on her cushion, forelegs crossed in front of her as though they were long-time friends discussing the weather. That slight, oh so smug smirk she wore as she stared up at the princess did little to help matters.

Still, Celestia didn’t allow her behavior to affect her. Much. It was a slow grate on her nerves, yes, but slow all the same.

It wouldn’t hurt you to at least act a bit more invested.

Celestia followed Chrysalis’ example, shifting about in her seat until she too was lying down. With the two once again at eye level, Celestia let a warm smile come across her features as she immediately placed those little road bumps behind her. “There,” she sighed, the new position already helping her relax. Her horn went aglow as her stack of papers once again floated up to her face. “Now that we’re both more comfortable, maybe I can finally hear your thoughts on these terms.” Celestia had truly begun to believe that the atmosphere was finally starting to grow calm, but the instant that she finished her sentence, Chrysalis’ face fell back into the indifferent, disinterested frown.

And off to the side the papers went once again.

Celestia held in her sigh this time, instead shutting her eyes as she calmed her increasingly agitated thoughts. She had known that Chrysalis was going to be difficult. She knew better than to delude herself into thinking that things were going to go absolutely perfectly. Still, it should not have been that easy for the changeling to get underneath her skin. It didn’t even seem like she was trying, but Chrysalis was just going out of her way to make Celestia’s attempts at peace as difficult as possible, and Celestia didn’t understand why. As petty as she was, even she couldn’t have been perfectly willing to jeopardize the already diminished integrity of her entire nation just to prove a point of pride. At least, Celestia hoped that she wasn’t.

“Chrysalis,” Celestia slowly began, eyes still closed, “I understand that you may not be very happy that you’re here—”

“Hmph. Projecting much?”

Celestia’s brow furrowed slightly, but she continued otherwise unabated. “—but I’m trying to help you.”

Chrysalis’ face shifted into a doubting frown. “And just who are you trying to convince by saying that?”

Celestia’s eyes, almost of their own will, came open, initially wide with confusion only to sharpen into another annoyed glare. “What do you mean? I am trying to help. You’re the one making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. I can only help you to the best of my abilities if I know what’s best for you and your subjects. However, I can’t know that unless you give me input more in depth than hems and haws.”

For a moment, Chrysalis merely lay there, wordless, a curious eyebrow arched as a sly grin spread across her face. Sometimes, the opportunities were laid out a little too bare for her.

“Mhmm.”

Chrysalis had no hope of holding back her amused cackles as Celestia promptly buried her face into the cushion just in time to muffle her frustrated shouts.

“Well, I’m sorry, Your Highness,” she began, voice dripping with false sympathy. “Things not going as swimmingly as you had hoped?”

Celestia did not immediately respond, instead pulling her face out of her cushion as she got back onto her hooves. She briefly rubbed her forehead once again, the cold metal of her regalia offering at least some comfort in quelling the growing headache. She had always been revered as a paradigm of patience and self-control, admiration that her actions throughout the years have only reinforced. Now here was Chrysalis, truly beginning to test the limits of those things.

Slowly releasing a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding, Celestia looked back at Chrysalis. Then again, ‘look’ may not have been the best word to use. She didn’t so much look as she did bore into Chrysalis’ very being with eyes that just barely restrained the seething fury that raced through Celestia’s mind for fleeting seconds at a time. Not that Chrysalis seemed to be bothered by it. In fact, she seemed to relish in Celestia’s anger, growing even more lax in her seat as she lay underneath the princess’ searing gaze.

“Do I need to remind you of the gravity that this situation carries?” Celestia asked, her voice deceptively low, yet barely calm. "Do I need to remind you that the lives of your subjects are at stake here?"

A short chuckle escaped Chrysalis’ lips before she tapped her chin in faux contemplation. “Hmm. I don’t know, Celestia. Do you? After all, I’ve only had, what, a few years of utter famine to come to terms with the situation I’ve found myself in? But no, of course I don’t understand what's at stake.”

Celestia felt the growing frustration and anger build in her gut, only contained by her still-sharpening glare. But she refused to let herself explode. Chrysalis was just waiting for her to lose control, waiting for her to do something foolish and regrettable. She was not going to let herself be bested by her mind games. “And even after going through all of that, you’re still willing to treat this all like a joke? You’re willing to endanger what’s left of your nation?”

Despite being directly under the heat of Celestia’s unyielding gaze, Chrysalis may as well have been lounging about on the beach. Laughing under her breath, she shifted again until she was lying on her side, lackadaisically waving a hoof through the air. “And just who am I endangering here?” she asked as though fueled by genuine curiosity. “As far as I can tell, the only things in any sort of ‘endangerment’ are your nerves, Celestia dear, and that’s all on you, honestly. Getting worked up over nothing like that. Very unprofessional. But if it will help your pwecious wittle feewings, then I accept your terms.”

Chrysalis’ words practically acted as an off switch for Celestia’s growing anger. In virtually no time, it all flushed away, replaced by the all-powerful throes of confusion. “You… You… What do you mean?”

This time, Chrysalis breathed her own sigh, throwing in a slight roll of the eyes for good measure. “Goodness, do I really need to spell it out for you?” she muttered as she got back onto her hooves. She quickly brushed some clinging lint from her exoskeleton, apparently ignoring the gobsmacked, open-mouthed expression Celestia gave her. “Put simply, your terms sound sound,” she said, though not without grimacing at her odd phrasing. “Ugh, wasn’t that an awkward way of wording it? Ahem. Your terms seem sound. Ah, much better.” A small smile came across her face, clearly pleased with how her reiteration rolled off the tongue.

While Chrysalis was more concerned with how her sentences sounded, Celestia merely stood there, mind threatening to fizzle out as it tried to make sense of what she just heard. On several occasions, she opened her mouth, only to close it as she searched for an appropriate response. Funnily enough, the one she settled for not only seemed the most effective in her eyes, but was also the briefest.

“What?”

Chrysalis’ amusement was not easy to miss as she walked circles around Celestia, a pride-fueled smile plastered on her face. “Don’t tell me that there’s still something wrong. I thought this was what you wanted.” Her mouth twisted itself into another sly smirk. “Unless, of course, you were expecting something else. What was it, then? Resistance? Refusal? Another, less heated attempt at usurping the throne? Come on, Celestia. Scenario of choice.”

Celestia didn’t even try to create sensible sentences. To do so in her current state would’ve only resulted in a flurry of incomprehensible gibberish. Instead, she merely attempted to make eye contact with Chrysalis, if only to try and catch any signs of deception. Unfortunately, it was a task made far difficult than it needed to be for a multitude of reasons.

For one, her mind was still reeling as it hopelessly picked its way through the seemingly endless number of ways she could regain control of things before it all spiraled too far out of control. For two, that headache that kept bothering her throughout their meeting had finally decided that now was the perfect time to hit her at full force, her skull feeling not unlike a particularly fertile tree during Applebucking Season. And for three, thus completing the trifecta of needless difficulty was the simple fact that Chrysalis refused to stop pacing long enough to even look at Celestia.

It took an embarrassingly long amount of time, something that Chrysalis seemed to revel in every second of, but Celestia’s mind—the sensible part, at least—finally decided to stop grasping at the far-fetched and focus on the more obvious reasons for Chrysalis’ sudden cooperation.

“Chrysalis,” Celestia called.

The changeling queen promptly came to a stop right next to Celestia, meeting the princess’ gaze with a sideways glance, that expectant smirk of hers still smeared on her face. “Hmm?”

“I hope you aren’t planning to abuse my trust for your own malicious purposes.”

Chrysalis’ eyes went wide in shock, her mouth left agape as though she was offended. “Why, Celestia!” she gasped. “Do you really think me so vile as to stoop to something as low as deceit? After all, it’s not like you have any past experiences to make you suspect such a thing.”

“Chrysalis…”

With an indignant roll of the eyes, Chrysalis dropped her little act. “Ugh, it’s true what they say. A queen just can’t have fun at another’s expense anymore. Pity.”

Her attempts at what could’ve loosely been considered light-hearted banter did little to alleviate Celestia’s agitated nerves. “You do realize that the slightest sign of treasonous activity will be met with… severe consequences, yes?”

Chrysalis quickly waved a dismissive hoof, brows furrowed as her own agitation became apparent. “Yes, yes. But if that’s honestly the only thing concerning you, then neither of us have anything to worry about.” Chrysalis started back towards her original seat. “As I said, the terms that you wish to implement seem acceptable in my eyes. It could serve as a new start for my children, one that I do not wish to jeopardize.” She calmly settled back down into her seat, taking up the most professional posture that Celestia had seen from her since her arrival. The only thing that shattered that illusion of formality was the smirk that she simply refused to get rid of. “Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t embarrass you whenever the chance arises.”

As Chrysalis practically took the reins of this discussion of theirs, Celestia could only stand, her hooves cemented in place, as she studied the changeling resting so casually before her. Slolwy, her mouth silently worked out the words that she wanted to say but never actually came. Of all the ways that she expected this meeting to go, Chrysalis’ unwavering and admittedly worrying cooperation was at the very back of her mind. She had entire lectures and guilt trip methods planned just to break through the changeling’s stubborn exterior, and other such conversational strategies to soften her up. Yet she didn’t need to use a single one. Celestia knew that she should’ve been expecting the unexpected, but that way of thinking only included any sudden escape attempts, not that Chrysalis seemed intent on trying that either.

It just made no sense. There must’ve been something more to this than she was seeing. Chrysalis was nothing if not deceptive; Celestia would not be fooled so easily. Finally, her confused expression hardened back into her stern gaze as she slowly approached the queen. “How can I trust that you won’t attempt anything in the future? After all that you’ve done, you expect me to just take your word?”

Chrysalis snorted, her smirk twisting into a slight scowl. “Well, what you like me to do, Your Highness? Perform a little song and dance proclaiming my trustworthiness? Should I make it a duet with that pink ball of headaches? Do I need to sign a legally binding contract in my own blood? What is it, Celestia? You drag me across the landscape to convince me to accept these terms of yours, and when I do, you expect me to explain myself?”

"Yes!" Celestia shouted, perhaps a touch louder than she intended. After taking a brief moment to properly regain her composure, she continued. “After what you've done, you can't be too surprised," she calmly said. "You brought that distrust upon yourself."

Chrysalis momentarily shut her eyes, taking a deep breath as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Goodness, you ponies take everything so personally, don’t you?” she muttered. “Besides, I’ve already given you my explanation. I don’t want to endanger my children and my nation any more than I already have done throughout the past years.” Her face twisted into a disgusted grimace as she worked up the nerve to continue. “If… If ensuring that they thrive means having to… tolerate you... then so be it.”

Whether or not she was even trying to, Chrysalis had been doing an exceptional job of surprising Celestia again and again. The princess softened her gaze, struck speechless as she finally caught a glimpse of something that she never thought she’d see, even if these discussions had gone exactly how she thought they would: Chrysalis’ humility.

“I… I didn’t know that you would be willing to do such a thing,” Celestia finally said, voice soft and gentle as to not shatter the moment.

Still trying to rid herself of that grimace, Chrysalis’ eyes darted back up to meet Celestia’s. “We haven’t known each other for that long, Celestia. There is a great deal that you don’t know about me.” She went back to laying in her seat in a bid to maintain her diminishing composure. She apparently succeeded in her efforts, as another smile came across her face as she looked—no, leered—at Celestia. “But I think we’ve dwelled on the ‘diplomatic’ aspect of this visit long enough. Perhaps now is the time we got to the real reason why I’m here.”

And just like that, whatever moment they had been building up to was promptly shattered as Celestia’s face twisted and contorted out of pure shock. “Wh-what do you mean?” she stammered.

Another amused chuckle left Chrysalis’ lips. Not teasingly amused, either. Just amused, as though she just heard a funny joke. “I don’t know why you’re asking me. You’re the one who made the plans. Or do you need to refer to your precious agenda again?”

A single step. Celestia took a single step back, praying that the heat building up in her cheeks didn’t have any visual indicators.

“Well, well, well. Even the high and mighty princess of the sun isn’t immune to blushing.”

So it did have visual indicators. Regardless, Celestia did her best—she truly did—to ignore both Chrysalis’ snide remark and the heat flaring in her face. “I-I don’t know what agenda you’re referring to.”

Chrysalis arched a single eyebrow, that smile of hers still there. “No? Well then, I suppose you wouldn’t mind if I had a peek at that curious stack of papers you have there.” Without even waiting for a response, Chrysalis grabbed the nearby stack of papers in her sickly green magic.

To call Celestia’s reaction ‘calm and controlled’ would’ve been nothing short of delusional, as the usually self-contained princess’s face exploded with panic. She grabbed the papers in her own golden glow, though she was unable to yank them out of Chrysalis’ magical grip. What ensued was a royal tug-of-war over a stack of recycled trees, both sides struggling to overcome the other, but neither giving a single inch.

“Don’t act like this, Celestia,” Chrysalis said through clenched teeth. “All parties should observe whatever paperwork is brought to these types of meetings.”

“That only applies when there are at least three parties involved,” Celestia retorted, straining all the while. “I reserve the right to say what is for my eyes only.”

“And I reserve the right to say that I don’t care!”

For a single, fleeting moment, Celestia gained the advantage, nearly embedding her hooves into the marble floor as she took only a couple, arduous steps backwards.

Chrysalis, despite her best efforts, felt herself slide along the ground as her grip on the papers waned. However, it was not long before she regained firm ground, remaining steadfast as she poured more strength into her efforts. Unfortunately, while the two royal figures seemed evenly matched, the same could not be said for the papers.

“Chrysalis, stop. You’re going to rip the—”

Unfortunately, Celestia’s warning came too little too late. In a rare case of magical stalemates, both Chrysalis and Celestia lost their grip on the papers at the same time. Their own momentum sent the pair flying back while the paper stack shot straight up into the air, exploding into a small shower of sheets as they all fluttered back to the ground.

Celestia was the first to recover from her tumble, her eyes, wide and frantic, scanning over the mess of papers. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, Chrysalis!” Using her magic, she grabbed hold of every sheet in sight, tearing her eyes across each page as she brought them up to her face. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to organize all of this?”

Chrysalis couldn’t say that she was necessarily paying absolute attention to Celestia at the time. She was a bit too occupied trying to stop her eyeballs from spinning in their sockets. In fact, the princess’ grievances almost made it past her unnoticed. Almost.

“Oh, this is hardly anything to cry about,” Chrysalis dazedly slurred as she knocked the senses back into her head. “I understand that the elderly tend to have issues with memory, but I doubt that you—”

Celestia’s frantic grab for the scattered papers came to a dead halt when she snapped her attention back towards Chrysalis, eyes burning with a heat only rivaled by the sun itself. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I have an excellent memory!”

Once again, Celestia’s little fit only seemed to fuel Chrysalis’ amusement. “Ah, excellent.” As if on cue, the only sheet of paper that slipped by Celestia’s gaze came to a gentle landing right on Chrysalis’ muzzle. Before the good princess could regain enough senses to snatch it away, Chrysalis took it up in her magic, immediately speeding her eyes across the pages. “So… you remember where we’re going to have dinner then?”

And just like that, Celestia’s face went back to doing its excellent impersonation of a tomato. “Wh-what?”

Chrysalis poked the floating sheet with a single hoof. “It says it right here. ‘Take Chrysalis to theatre for discussion’. And right after that, ‘Take Chrysalis to dinner for further discussion’. Goodness, has the role of princess made it impossible for you to plan anything without having excessive amounts of paperwork to show for it?”

Praying that heated sensation would go away before her face burst into flames, Celestia snatched the paper right out of Chrysalis’ grip, the changeling not putting up anywhere near as much of a fight this time. Not that it mattered; her eyes had already seen things that they weren’t supposed to see. Attempting to salvage things, to regain control, was all but a hopeless effort at this point. Not that that was enough to keep Celestia from trying.

“Don’t misinterpret things,” Celestia quickly said, stacking the papers back into a neat, if unorganized pile. “I just didn’t expect you to be so cooperative, but don’t think that these negotiations are over. I still have a few things that I’d like to clarify with you before this is all finalized. These were simply things that I had planned to break the monotony that would’ve otherwise come if we were to stay inside the castle all day.”

To say that Chrysalis was woefully unconvinced would’ve been a gross understatement, if her doubtfully arched eyebrow was any indicator. “Mhmm.”

“Will you stop saying that?”

“Well, I’m sorry, Celestia. That’s just what I’ve grown to do naturally whenever I’m dubious of something.”

“And what could you possibly be dubious of?”

Chrysalis just shook her head. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that you dragged me all the way across Equestria just to have one discussion that we could've easily held over letters? No, you had something else in mind, my dear princess, and now that I’ve done away with this ‘diplomatic negotiating’ nonsense, I can see it for what it truly is. Not that it was that difficult in the first place."

"I—"

"I don’t even know why I’m surprised. Only you could use something so… official to try and cover up something so pitifully simplistic. I honestly wouldn't be shocked if I had to sign a form in triplicate in order to proceed to third base.”

The emotions rushing through Celestia’s mind slowly drifted away from hopelessly frantic to hopelessly frantic and just a bit confused. Her face scrunched up into a frown as she discerned the meaning behind Chrysalis’ words. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, Celestia, I’d be more likely to believe this confused act you’re putting on if you weren’t still blushing. Though, to your benefit, it is enjoyable to watch. Adorable, even.”

And if Celestia was just blushing before, then her entire face just burst into a lovely shade of red. “I-I don’t know what you’re thinking, but whatever it is, that isn’t the case, I promise you.”

“Mhmm. And I'm not criminally petty."

This was getting nowhere, that much was obvious. Celestia needed some time alone to recompose herself before she really stuffed her hoof into her mouth. “You know what, I’m going to step outside for a moment. I need a minute alone.”

"Just a minute? Goodness, and I thought that the rainbow one was the fastest in Equestria."

That bedroom door could not seem any further away. Attempting to retain whatever authoritative image she had left was proving to be a much harder task than Celestia anticipated. She walked as quickly towards the door as she could without making it painfully obvious that she was just trying to get away from Chrysalis. All things considered, she felt that she managed it rather well, even as she nearly tore her bedroom door off of its hinges during her hurry to get out of there. Unfortunately, her attempt at escaping one problem only threw her headlong into another one.

“Oh! Princess Celestia!”

“Twilight?”

Yes, Celestia, in her haste to escape her own bedroom, nearly ran right into her young mentee. Twilight was quick to increase the distance between the two, scrambling away from Celestia lest she disrupt her personal space further. In spite of their rather sudden meeting, Twilight still put on a small, relieved smile. “Oh, thank goodness. I'm happy that I found you,” she said.

Even through the initial surprise of seeing Twilight in what could generously be described as a very bad time, Celestia was able to notice the young alicorn’s rather skittish disposition, not that she had much room to talk. She also took note of the numerous, deep breaths Twilight took as she tried to get air back into her lungs. “Twilight, is something wrong? What’s gotten you in such a hurry?”

Twilight pushed past her fatigue, putting on a deathly serious face. “Yes, there’s something very wrong. Not too long ago, I detected a changeling entering Canterlot. Spike wasn’t around to send you a letter, so I came here myself to warn you. We could be in danger again!”

From Twilight’s perspective, Celestia’s eyes widened ever so slightly due to the shocking and rather dire news. In reality, however, Celestia was mentally kicking herself as she realized far too late that she overlooked one very important detail.

Twilight Sparkle.

Slowly, Celestia nodded, her mind screaming obscenities at herself for such a simple mistake. “I see,” she calmly said. She couldn’t let herself lose hope just yet; she was still in control. It was just a matter of getting Twilight away from the door that was literally the only thing separating her from the changeling in question. Celestia quickly cleared her throat, regaining her warm, but stern composure. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Twilight. I’ll begin a citywide search immediately. Wherever this changeling is, it won’t get far.”

Celestia’s assurances did manage to bring a relieved smile across Twilight’s face, though it was clear that something was still bothering her. “And just so you know, I already performed a cursory scan of the city on my way here, and I came up with nothing. It must really be tucked away somewhere, and that could be anywhere in a city as large Canterlot. It could take all day for us to find it. It may just be the one, but who knows what it could do by then.”

Now, Celestia was well aware that there were quite a number of ponies who viewed her as an all-powerful deity. As… flattering as such a view was, those ponies needed to understand that she was by no means the most powerful being that there was. No, there was something else. An unseen entity, one that controlled the fates of every single living thing on this planet, Celestia herself included. For the most part, this higher being was a reasonably fair one. Every so often, however, it would grow bored and decide to indiscriminately ruin some poor soul’s day.

In this particular instance, Celestia’s number came up.

This was the truth. It had to be, as this rationalization was the only thing that kept her from tearing her ethereal mane clean from her scalp when she heard the door behind her swing open.

“Celestia, you adorably coy strumpet! No need to make things so needlessly difficult. If you truly wish to date me, then all you need to do is ask."

The castle’s halls fell into an awkward silence unlike anything that it had experienced in its centuries-long lifespan. In fact, calling the silence awkward wasn’t even appropriate. Not at all. The silence that followed after a particularly loud emission of gas from the front or back door during an important meeting was awkward. The silence that followed after a stallion accidentally compared the face of his date’s mother to a hydra’s backside was awkward. The silence that Celestia found herself in, where she was stuck between her mentee, who had been through a considerable number of hardships throughout her life, and the changeling responsible for a fair share of those hardships after said changeling uttered something that wouldn’t have sounded any better in context, was one that made spontaneous combustion seem like an absolutely lovely means of escape.

While Celestia was busy picking between simple immolation or a more impressive implosion spell, Chrysalis’ bright face didn’t wane in the slightest as she trotted out of the bedroom and past a woefully confused and dumbstruck Twilight Sparkle. “So, I assume that you'll want to begin at seven o’clock tonight? That’s the standard time for you ponies around here, yes? Excellent, that gives me just enough time to fly back to the hive and spruce myself up for the occasion. I do hope that you like it expensive, my dear, because I certainly do.” The happy queen suddenly came to a stop, a frown spreading across her face as she glanced back at the speechless purple alicorn. “Oh, and Celestia, you might want to consider finding a replacement. That one appears to be broken. Ta-ta!”

As Chrysalis giddily trotted away, Celestia tore herself out of her embarrassed trance long enough to look down at her former student. Chrysalis’ words certainly seemed to ring true; Twilight did, for all intents and purposes, appear broken.

Light plumes of smoke poured from Twilight’s ears as the poor thing’s mental gears strained under the effort of making sense of not only the sight before her, but what she undoubtedly just heard from Chrysalis’ mouth. It was like trying to watch a foal make sense of Starswirl’s interpretation of magical theory. She was trying so hard, but she was likely to snap her brain in two from the effort. The smoke pouring from her ears was actually getting quite thick, and Celestia was positive that she saw Twilight’s horn give off a few, errant sparks. Any second now, and her head would burst into flames.

“Y-you… I… I don’t… What are you…? Why was she…?” Twilight’s mouth kept moving. Words kept coming out. None of it came together to make a single coherent thought. Twilight couldn’t even think of the last time she was so dumbstruck. Actually, she couldn’t think much of anything, effectively reduced to a babbling ball of fur.

With a single large wing, Celestia quickly ushered Twilight into her bedroom. “Get inside. Get inside. Get inside right now!” Twilight was hardly in the appropriate mental state to offer any form of resistance as she dazedly staggered into Celestia’s personal quarters. All the while, that headache that the good princess became very acquainted with decided to return in full. And she hadn’t even begun to try and explain things to Twilight yet.

Oh, I swear to me… This is going to be a painfully long day.

With a bang that echoed all throughout the castle, Celestia’s bedroom door slammed shut. As the halls fell back into unnerving silence, a scant few dozen meters away, an armored pegasus poked his head out of a particularly large potted plant, a pair of binoculars held up to his face. Silver Shield slowly and hesitantly lowered the device from his eyes, his face frozen in absolute disbelief at the display that he just saw. “You have got to be kidding me,” he muttered.

Not too long afterwards, a pegasus mare poked her head out from the plant as well. To call the smile on her face mane-pullingly smug would’ve been a gross understatement. “And you said staring at the door for half an hour was going to be a waste of time. So, tell me…” Valor nudged her partner to get his attention. “Is your wallet feeling empty yet?”