Awaken, Scootaloo
Let. Me. Go! Scootaloo bared her teeth and yanked, but the mud held her hind leg fast. Her muscles ached from the slog, and her coat was matted with mud and sweat. She couldn’t remember how long she’d been trudging through this smelly swamp, but she couldn't take much more. Each time Scootaloo managed to yank a hoof out, it just seemed to drive the other three in deeper. Ugh! Where did all this guck come from?
The sludge finally released Scootaloo’s rear hoof with a wet, sullen pop. There. Another step. Panting, she wiped her brow with a marginally clean bit of her upper leg and scanned the bog. Where am I? Which way is Ponyville?
Scootaloo paused to catch her breath. The persistent flutter of unease tugged at her mind again, but her legs were shaking too badly to concentrate on it. More than anything, she just wanted to lie down for a while. It can’t go on forever. I gotta keep walking. She growled softly and hauled another leg up from the slimy muck. But how did I get here? Scootaloo wrinkled her nose against the swamp’s stench when her hoof came free. Each step stirred up years of decay.
What was I doing before? Something about a race. Everypony else was so fast, and I couldn’t catch up. Her muscles screamed while she dragged another leg out of the swamp’s grip. My hooves were all muddy, and I couldn’t run right.
Scootaloo shook the perspiration from her forehead before it could drip into her eyes. That’d be just great. Not like there’s much to look at, though. Peering through the thin fog, she could just make out a few ghostly trees and other less identifiable shapes. She’d been here for hours, but she never seemed to reach any of them. “I keep walking and walking, but I’m not getting anywhere,” she said with a heavy sigh.
“Then perhaps you should fly,” a soft voice whispered into her ear.
Scootaloo's heart leapt into her throat. “Aaah!” All at once, she was out of control. Her forelegs ran, her back legs jumped, and her wings tried to take her into the air, but the swamp refused to release her. Scootaloo’s limbs were hopelessly tangled when she fell. The filly struggled to get her hooves beneath her again, but she only sank more deeply into the mire as the mud wrapped itself around her like a living thing.
An elegant, night-blue hoof encircled the filly and pulled her from the bog’s grip. “My apologies, Scootaloo. I did not mean to scare you.”
“Princess Luna!” The pegasus threw her hooves around the princess's neck, then pulled away suddenly. “Sorry! I forgot that I was…” Scootaloo looked back and forth between the princess’s pristine coat and her own filthy body. She reached out with a grime-covered hoof and touched Luna tentatively. “The mud doesn’t stick to you,” she said in an awed voice.
“Of course not, child.” Princess Luna set Scootaloo down onto her broad back. “This is my realm, after all. I enjoy certain benefits.”
“This is a dream?” Scootaloo slapped a hoof over her face. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Luna chuckled. “Nopony ever does. It is the nature of dreams. They exist to help us, but dreams must feel real. Otherwise, we would not treat them seriously.”
Scootaloo peered out at the desolate swamp and sighed. “Mine aren’t helping me.”
Luna arched an eyebrow. “Aren’t they?”
Scootaloo threw her hooves up, sending mud flying in every direction. “I'm stuck in a big, stinky swamp! I was trying to race, I think, but I was all slow, and then I was in this swamp somehow, and—" She slapped her hooves over her mouth. “Oh, sorry, Princess! I didn’t mean to yell at—bleh!” The pegasus screwed up her face and spit out a mouthful of mud and half-rotten leaves.
“Calm yourself, child. You have not offended me,” Luna said, smiling. “The time has come for us to talk again, but perhaps you could change the dreamscape into something more pleasant.”
Scootaloo’s brow furrowed. “Huh?”
Luna swept her hoof before them in a wide arc, highlighting the gloom. “Would you not rather be elsewhere?”
“Well, yeah,” Scootaloo replied, nodding uncertainly.
“This is your dream, Scootaloo. You must tell it what you want.”
The pegasus swallowed hard. “I-I’m sorry, Princess, but isn’t that what you do? Control dreams? I don’t know how.”
“It is true that I could wipe this away, but where would that leave you once I depart? The darkness would return.” Luna gave Scootaloo a gentle nuzzle. “Because it is your darkness. That is why I am here, child. You have forgotten how to dream, and dreams are an important part of our lives.” She nodded toward the hazy bog. “Without them, we are lost.”
Scootaloo leaned away from a dangling vine. She wasn’t sure, but she could swear that it reached for her when they passed. “How am I here if I’ve forgotten how to dream?”
“There is dreaming, and then there is dreaming, Scootaloo.” Luna lightly tapped the mud beneath them. Her hoof left a rippling depression which refused to fill. “Do you see how it flees? It cannot bear the goodwill that we have for each other. Dreams such as this one are born from sadness and anger. They are malignant. Do you remember when last we spoke?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Uh huh. It was when I was scared but I didn’t want Rainbow Dash to know. You told me to face my fear, and… and I did!” She sniffled and pointed to the bog. “B-but, well, just look…”
Luna plucked the little pegasus from where she rode and cradled her. “Scootaloo, in your short life, you have experienced profound sadness. I... know something of that." She wiped a tear from the filly's cheek. “But the wounds we suffer leave scars. The sadness is still here, inside you. You are hiding your pain, but once hidden, it festers. Here, in your dreams, you can see what it has done to your mind.” Luna pointed to the swirling, writhing bog just beyond her hooves. “Do you see how the darkness reaches for you, even now? It seeks to reclaim you.”
Scootaloo buried her face into Luna’s chest and clutched the princess tightly. She didn't want the princess to see her cry. “I’m s-sorry!” she said, her voice muffled. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Rainbow’s only around sometimes, and she thinks everything’s so easy. She doesn’t understand! Every other pegasus just flies like it’s nothing, but not me! Even Pound can fly, and he’s not even a year old!”
Luna ran her hoof though the filly’s mane. “And what of your friends? Have they not offered to listen? Do they not wish to help?”
Hiccupping, Scootaloo looked away, but tightened her grip around Luna’s neck. “Yeah, they do, but they don’t understand either. It just makes me feel like a big crybaby.” Scootaloo pressed her face into Luna’s velvety chest once more. “Sweetie Belle can only do a little bit of magic, but she doesn’t even care! She’s always asking what the big deal is!” The filly’s shoulders shook again, her voice hitching. “I just don’t get how it’s n-not a big d-deal to… I m-mean…”
Luna tightened her embrace and silently rocked Scootaloo while the despondent filly cried against her. With a feather-light hoof, she traced the contour of the filly’s face. “You are not wrong, Scootaloo.”
“Huh?” Scootaloo said, her eyes growing wide.
Luna gave the filly a final squeeze before seating Scootaloo once more. “It is the birthright of every pegasus to fly, just as it is for every unicorn to perform magic. There is nothing wrong with the way that you feel. It is natural.”
Scootaloo’s hooves twisted around one another. “But everypony always tells me not to worry about it! They’re always saying that it’ll happen whenever it happens, and if it doesn’t, then it just won’t matter!”
“Consider this.” The alicorn set out again at a slow trot, and Scootaloo twined her hoof into Luna’s mane, gripping tightly. “What would you say to Sweetie Belle if she came to you in tears one day? What if she told you that she feared that she would never be a true unicorn? That she would never perform real magic?” Luna rolled a questioning eye back toward the filly. “What would you tell her?”
Scootaloo’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly while she searched for an answer. “Uh…”
“Not an easy question, is it?” Luna released the filly from her gaze. “Your friends tell you these things because they love you. It is the only balm they know. Deep inside, they know it is not enough, but it is all they have to give to you.”
“I know, I know,” Scootaloo said, her voice falling to a whisper. “But what…" She swallowed hard. “What if it never happens?”
Luna stretched out her wings, smiling when Scootaloo reached out to touch them. “Tell me how you feel about flying, child.”
“I want to be able to so bad!” Scootaloo jumped to her hooves between Luna’s shoulderblades. “I keep trying and trying, but it never happens, and they all tell me to be patient and that I’ll grow into it, but I never do! Some of the other foals tease me when nopony else is around. They say that my cutie mark is going to be a lead weight or a big anchor! I try to ignore it, but sometimes I just can’t, and—”
Luna cleared her throat gently. “Scootaloo, that is how you feel about not flying. I want to know what stirs within you when you think of the sky.”
Scootaloo rubbed one foreleg against the other. “I-I don’t know. I want it really bad, but…”
“The thought of it brings you pain?” Luna prompted.
Scootaloo nodded, her eyes welling up again.
“Then we already have the answer.” Luna lifted Scootaloo from her seat and set the filly on a floating log.
Nearby, the mud flowed and rippled around the rotten tree trunk, searching for a way to snare the filly once more. As she turned to follow, Scootaloo could swear that the mud was forming grasping claws and leering faces just on the edges of her vision. She'd whip her head around to catch them, but they would be gone, replaced by another just out of sight. She swallowed hard. “Um...”
Luna placed a hoof under Scootaloo’s chin and guided the filly’s eyes upwards. “Concentrate. In dreams, all things are possible, but only for those with clarity of vision. For instance, would it not be better to have a more pleasant place in which to stand?”
Scootaloo skipped back a few steps from where the mud was looping around a protruding branch. Her breath quickening, Scootaloo watched the ropes of slimy muck slowly stretch and harden, lengthening into an iron chain. She gave a startled cry when the chain drew tight. The fallen tree was slowly being dragged into the bog.
“And what would you prefer?" Luna stepped on the chain. With a squeal, it released the branch and slithered back into the muck. “Tell me where you would rather be.”
“Uh, I don’t know.” Scootaloo took another step back, pinching her nose shut against a pungent plume of gas that bubbled up beside her. “Anywhere else would be better.”
Luna shook her head. “No, Scootaloo. ‘Else’ and ‘other’ will not work here. You must be clear. Where would you like to be?”
“At… at the clubhouse!”
“Then close your eyes and tell me about it,” Luna said. “Do not fear. The swamp reacts to your attention and emotion, fading when it feels safe in your despair and lashing out when threatened. It is as real as you allow it to be. I will keep you safe through this, but you must trust in me.”
Scootaloo gave one final, apprehensive glance towards the restless mud before she screwed her eyes closed. “Well, it’s on Sweet Apple Acres, so it smells a lot better than here!” Scootaloo folded her ears against her head, trying to block out the horrible slurping sounds near her hooves. “It’s got lots of shade for when it gets hot, but not too much, you know?”
“Do you like to run there? Is the ground hard, or is it soft beneath your hooves?”
Scootaloo beamed, unconsciously flapping her wings. “Oh, the grass there is really nice! If you fall, it doesn’t even hurt! We can push each other over all day and it never leaves any bruises.”
“Is it lush, child?”
Scootaloo put a hoof to her chin. “Well, I mean, it’s not like the Everfree Forest, but I guess it’s a little bit wild. The grass is kinda long, and really green. And there’s berry bushes nearby, in case we get hungry.”
A playful lilt crept into Luna’s voice. “I see. It is very beautiful.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, frowning. Was the princess making fun of her? “It’s like the exact opposite of here.”
“To what ‘here’ are you referring?” Luna said, chuckling.
Scootaloo opened her eyes and stared at Luna incredulously. “This swa—oh!” She turned in a slow circle, taking in the new scenery. “It changed! We’re at the clubhouse!”
Luna’s eyes twinkled. “It is amazing what is possible when you put yourself into the correct frame of mind, Scootaloo. Where fear once dragged at your hooves, you now stand firmly atop safety and familiarity.” She touched her hoof lightly to the tip of Scootaloo’s nose. “But that change starts with you, child. You have allowed fear and unhappiness to rule your heart. It is time that you experienced joy.” Luna flapped her wings. “It is time you took flight!”
Scootaloo stared at the princess's wings and then at the sky. Her eyes widening, she hopped rapidly in place. “You mean… I can do it here? I can really fly?”
Luna returned filly’s smile. “Yes, but you will need to find what flight truly means to you. In the same way that you needed to feel this place to bring yourself out of the swamp, your heart must hold a true love for the open sky, rather than sadness and resentment.” Luna tilted her head to the side. “Do you have such love within you?”
Scootaloo chewed on her lip for a moment. “I… I’m not sure. I mean, Rainbow takes me up sometimes, but I can never do it on my own.” She pawed at the ground, knocking a small rock loose and kicking it away. “It’s fun and all, but then I…”
“Then what?” Luna lowered her head to look directly into Scootaloo’s eyes. “Speak. This is more important than you know.”
Scootaloo sighed and forced herself to meet Luna’s gaze. “Then it’s over, and Rainbow flies away. I’m just left on the ground again, and…” Scootaloo blinked rapidly, trying to maintain her composure. “And it’s worse than before. Rainbow always takes off, but before she gets too far away, she turns back and gives me this… this look. Like she’s really disappointed in me, but she’s too nice to say it. Like she thinks I’m a big failure.”
Scootaloo took a step backward. For a moment, something flashed in the princess's eyes. Something dark. “Beware, Scootaloo,” she said, an edge creeping into her melodic voice. “Experiencing sadness is one thing. Blaming others for it is quite another. Are you prepared to defend your claim?”
Scootaloo trembled. “I… uh...”
“What has Rainbow Dash done to make you think this of her?”
Though Luna had spoken softly, Scootaloo could feel the earth beneath her hooves trembling with the power each syllable carried. Her mouth worked wordlessly, suddenly very dry.
“Has she ever missed a date with you?”
“No,” Scootaloo said, looking down.
Luna stomped a hoof. The grass beneath it turned dark and brittle. “Has she spoken ill of you to others?”
“I-I don’t think so.” Scootaloo’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Could it be that you feel that Rainbow is lazy or uncaring? Does she wish to be rid of you?”
Scootaloo’s head snapped up. “No! I don’t think that at all!”
Luna’s expression softened. “Then you believe that Rainbow loves you and wants what is best for you?” While Scootaloo nodded vigorously, Luna sat and extended her wings behind Scootaloo to encircle them both. “Then why surround her actions with darkness? Think on this, child. Might the disappointment that you see in Rainbow’s eyes be with herself?”
Scootaloo’s mouth dropped open. “No way! Rainbow’s the best! I’m the one who can’t get off the ground.”
“Let me show you something.” Luna held her hooves out between them and closed her eyes. Scootaloo inched backward into the wall of feathers, away from the crackling arcs of magic leaping between the princess's hooves. The air thrummed with power as the energy coalesced into an ice-blue helmet. Opening her eyes, Luna held the armor out for Scootaloo to see. “Do you recognize this?”
Scootaloo nodded stiffly, her eyes darting everywhere but to Luna’s face. “I-it’s, uh…”
“Calm yourself, Scootaloo. I would not show this to you if it were not safe to do so.”
Scootaloo took a deep breath. “It’s your Nightmare Moon helmet.”
Luna held it out again. “Take it, filly.”
Scootaloo’s eyes flew wide and she tried to scramble away from the sinister helmet. “What—no!”
“Your pain is deep." Luna pushed Scootaloo toward the helmet with her wings. “We must move beyond what is easy if you are to be well.” Luna dropped the helmet into Scootaloo’s hooves. “What do you feel?”
Scootaloo fell, jerked off of her hooves when the helmet dragged her down to the ground. “Ugh. It weighs a ton!”
“It is filled with dark thoughts.” Luna's voice grew husky. “And that darkness made the helmet a very heavy thing to bear. It formed in my mind, bit by bit, with each imagined slight that I suffered. Before I knew it, the anger that I’d used to protect myself had become a prison. Whenever I tried to rise from what I was becoming, it held me down with thoughts of jealousy and inadequacy. I thought everypony was laughing at me, that they hated me. With each passing day, my armor of rage and despair grew heavier, until it became impossible to remove. I was trapped within it because my heart could no longer rise.” Luna touched Scootaloo's chest with a trembling hoof. “I-I do not wish that for you, child.”
Scootaloo covered Luna’s hoof with her own, grateful for an excuse to drop the loathsome helmet. “But I’m okay!” She patted Luna’s hoof. “Sure, I cry sometimes, but mostly I’m okay.”
“‘Mostly okay’ is how I began, as well.” As she spoke, Luna tapped the helmet repeatedly. Shuddering, Scootaloo shied away from the sound it made. Rather than the clear ringing that she expected, the helmet tolled in a low, muted tone. It sounded like suffering. “It is no accident that I am here, Scootaloo. Dark thoughts are a natural part of life, and because of that, I often see them within the dreams of my subjects. But, for a few, those thoughts become an ailment. For those ponies, answers do not come as they should, and dreams become nightmares.”
Luna straightened her back and tossed her head proudly. Frowning, she brought her hoof down on the helmet, shattering it. The twisted metal shards quivered before disintegrating into black smoke. “My sister protects all Equestrians from external threats, but it is my duty to protect them from the dangers within.” Luna rose suddenly, thrusting her wings to the sky. “I will not see you chained in darkness when you could be soaring!” She looked down at Scootaloo. “Are you ready, child?”
Scootaloo jumped to her hooves, her eyes sparkling. “Am I ready?! I can’t wait!”
A smile spread across Luna’s face, and she pointed upwards. “Then do not. Focus on your feelings. The sky awaits!”
Scootaloo tilted her head back and watched the clouds drift away. The sky was an open invitation. Rolling her shoulders, she winced when they gave a loud pop. “Okay, this time for sure!” After stretching out her wings, she worked them into a whirring blur. Panting, she rose into the air, inch by inch. “I’m doing it! I’m fly—oof!" Scootaloo plummeted headfirst into the ground.
Burying her face into the lush grass, Scootaloo growled and slammed her hoof down repeatedly. “Even here!” Her voice was muffled as she screamed into the foliage. “I thought—but you said—I’ll never…”
“Shh.” Luna lay down next to Scootaloo and draped a wing over the trembling filly. “That was but one attempt, child. It will take time to—”
Scootaloo’s head whipped up, her grass-stained cheeks wet with tears. “It’s always just one more try! It’s always going to be the next one, and it never is!”
Luna frowned and shook her head. “Your heart is anchored in the past, Scootaloo. The hurt is too deep. Let us try another route.” Luna rose, gently pulling Scootaloo back to her hooves. “How do you feel when Rainbow takes you into the clouds?”
Scootaloo wiped her eyes. “It’s m-my favorite thing! Sometimes, when I’m up there, I can almost do it!” She looked back up to the clouds, her eyes shining. “I get so close!”
“Then perhaps another change of scenery is what we need.” The air shimmered around Scootaloo for a moment before the princess scooped her up with her magic. “Prepare yourself, child.” Luna pushed off with her strong rear legs and launched herself into the air.
Scootaloo gasped. Her surprised stomach lay somewhere on the ground below. “Wow, you’re even faster than Rainbow Dash!” Laughing, she felt the skin on her face rippling as Luna pumped her wings, propelling them into the open sky.
Luna smiled. “As I said, this is my realm. I enjoy certain perks.”
The rushing air made Scootaloo’s eyes water, and the tears left freezing trails as they streamed away. Held like this, out in front of the princess, it was easy to imagine that she was soaring through the clouds on her own. She felt like she might belong here. C’mon, wings! she thought. We’re almost there! Tucking her legs tightly against her body, she flapped and leaned into the wind.
“What does your heart say?” Luna shouted over the roar of the wind.
Scootaloo’s heart cried out its answer. “Faster! It wants to go faster!”
“Perhaps it is ready to try on its own?”
Scootaloo whipped her head around, her eyes wide. “No! Don’t let me go! I’ll fall!”
Luna’s mouth curled into a small, knowing smile. “Do not fear, child. I promise not release you until you are ready.” Luna pumped her wings more aggressively and launched the pair into a barrel roll at breathtaking speed. Scootaloo screeched at the unexpected twists, and Luna’s grin widened. “Shall we head for that cloud?”
Scootaloo’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! I love it when Rainbow flies through them!”
“Then let us see what we might find hidden within!” With a twist of her wings, Luna pivoted and shot toward a vast cumulus cloud.
Scootaloo whooped and punched her hoof into the air when they plunged into the cloud. Despite the chill of the upper atmosphere, she’d started to sweat from her exertion. There, inside the cloud, the cooling vapor embraced her. Scootaloo threw her hooves out and relished the silky caress.
“How does it feel to fly, Scootaloo?” Muffled by the cloud, Luna’s voice had a strangely distant quality to it.
Scootaloo looked back, but the cloud’s thick haze obscured nearly everything. She couldn’t make Luna out at all. “It’s the best!”
“Then paint me a picture of words. Let me see your joy in my mind’s eye.”
Scootaloo tilted her head back and breathed in deeply. “The cloud smells good inside. It’s cold and wet, but it smells clean and… and new, I guess!” Flapping harder, she arched her back, rising sharply. “Pretty soon, we’ll punch out of this cloud, and when we do, water droplets are going to fly into the air and we’ll see a rainbow. One that’s just for us! It won’t last very long, but Rainbow Dash says that it’s something special just for pegasi. We’ll come out above the cloud, and the sun will be shining, making the cloud tops really bright.” Scootaloo’s mind drifted back to all of the special training sessions she’d shared with her adopted sister. “Then we can drop down on them and have a nap if we’re tired. Or sometimes we just talk about stuff. The wind gets kinda cold, but the sun keeps us warm on top of the clouds. And when we’ve rested some, Rainbow will take us for a speed run back to the ground. Once, we even went thermal hunting, and we shot way, way up into the air. Then we just glided for a while and looked down at all of Equestria.”
Exiting the cloud, Scootaloo shielded her eyes against the sudden brightness. As always, the shining sun made the top of the cloud surprisingly warm. She grinned at the rainbow ring shimmering in the air around her.
Reclined on her back, Luna glided beside the filly. “I could not agree more, Scootaloo. Flying holds many wonders. It pleases me to see you experience it.”
“Yeah, that’s why I—Ahhh!” Scootaloo’s eyes flew wide. Beside her, Luna dipped and weaved through the air, angling back toward the cloud as she waved to the filly. “You… I’m… I’m…” Scootaloo’s heart hammered in her chest. The words were caught in her throat, struggling to exit. “I’m… flying?” Scootaloo craned her neck, frantically searching the air around her. Luna’s magic was gone. “I’m flying! I’m really doing it!”
Arching her back once more, Scootaloo shot up into the open sky, letting the frustrations that had built inside her for years bleed out into her wake. Higher. Gotta go higher. The air was beginning to thin, but she pumped her wings harder. She’d waited so long to reach the sky on her own, and now she wanted to touch the very top of it. She wanted to push herself.
“Be careful, child,” Luna’s silky voice whispered into her ear once again. “Even in dreams, good things may still hold dangers. There is a reason Rainbow has not taken you up this far.” Taking Scootaloo’s hoof in her own, she pulled gently. “Come. Fly with me.”
Banking, the pair descended in a gentle spiral. “Watch me and do as I do, Scootaloo. Let us experience this together.” With a twist of her wings, Luna rolled over onto her back and flew directly above the filly. Catching Scootaloo’s eye, the princess raised her eyebrows. “Ready?”
Scootaloo nodded, trying to match the maneuver. When Luna dipped, Scootaloo rose, flying upside down above the princess. “Whoa!” Scootaloo said, giggling. She was finding it very difficult to hold to a steady path. “It’s kinda weird flying like this. Everything feels backward!”
“Then how about this?" Luna twisted in midair and looped over Scootaloo. Grabbing onto the filly’s hooves, she leaned to her left, pumping her wings. Though they began slowly, the pair was soon spinning around each other at a dizzying speed.
“It’s—” was all Scootaloo managed before breaking into a series of giggles. Throwing her head back, she laughed and tightened her grip. Her wings a blur, she added what she could to their rotation. “I’m so dizzy!” she finally gasped, shaking her head.
Luna suddenly released her, and she spun away. “Now, follow me!” Fanning her wings, Luna banked back toward the cloud.
“Okay! Here I—oof!” Scootaloo dipped and wavered. She tried her best to follow Luna’s path, but it seemed that every time that she angled right, the world twisted left around her. She snorted as she tumbled through the air, an errant crosswind blowing her off course. “Watch out! I can’t fly straight!”
Luna smiled and held her hooves open wide. “Do not worry, child. I will catch you.”
Laughing, Scootaloo did her best to make her way to the princess, but she couldn’t help noticing that Luna had to adjust her position several times. When Luna finally plucked her out of the air, she folded the filly into a tight embrace. “So what does your heart say now, Scootaloo? Does it love to fly?”
Part of her wanted to push away from the princess. Finally free, it wanted to take to the air again. She wanted to soar and dive in the way that she’d always imagined that she would. But Luna was warm, and the princess's coat was as soft as the cloud tops. She found herself snuggling deeper into the embrace. “Uh huh. Thanks to you!”
Luna alighted delicately on the nearby cloud. Sitting, she placed Scootaloo down next to her, but kept her hoof wrapped around the filly. “No, child. This victory was yours. You just needed a little guidance.” Luna stared down, her face becoming serious. “But this is a beginning, not an end.”
Scootaloo brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“I’m speaking of your real pain, Scootaloo.” Luna lay down next to the filly, nearly touching Scootaloo’s face with her own. “Remember what you said to me. ‘Rainbow’s only around sometimes.’ Your wounds are buried within those words.” Luna took Scootaloo’s hoof and squeezed it lightly. “Do you feel that they have abandoned you?” The words were soft as a mother’s caress.
Scootaloo dropped her eyes, her breath becoming ragged. “I… They…”
Luna nuzzled Scootaloo’s cheek. “It is okay to miss them, and even to be mad, but it must not consume you. It was not their choice to leave you.”
Scootaloo leaned heavily into Luna’s side. “But I don’t have anypony,” she whispered, her voice quavering. “Not really.”
Luna pursed her lips for a moment. “You have no one? How do you think your aunt would feel about that?”
Scootaloo picked at the cloud, pulling bits away and tearing them slowly into tiny pieces. “I… I don’t know. I mean, I’m really grateful that she takes care of me, but…”
“But what, child? Speak.”
Scootaloo hung her head. “I don’t want to be bad,” she whispered.
“Scootaloo, each of us suffers troubled thoughts from time to time.” Luna swept her hoof before them, highlighting the sky and clouds. “Here, in this realm, I witness the fears that prey upon the minds of all Equestrians.” She winked at Scootaloo. “You are not the first to have feelings which bring you shame. We all have them, so speak. I promise that I will keep your secrets, as I do for all of my subjects.”
Scootaloo swallowed hard. “I…” Her eyes fell to her hooves. “I don’t want to live with my aunt anymore. She doesn’t want me around. She cooks and stuff, but she never comes to check on me when it’s stormy, even though she knows I hate thunder. A-and she forgets when my birthday is. Every year!” The filly tried to look up at Luna, not quite meeting her gaze. “Once, when I was little,” she said, her voice dropping into a husky whisper, “she had this friend over. I was thirsty, so I got up and went to the kitchen for some water. They… I guess they didn’t hear me, and they just went on talking in the next room. My aunt was telling her friend about this vase that I’d accidentally broken. She sounded really mad, but she didn’t sound mad when she talked to me about it earlier. She was more—” Scootaloo twirled her hoof, searching for the word. “—worn down or something. But when she was with her friend, she was mad. She was saying that there was a reason she’d never wanted foals. She said I was nothing but a headache.”
Luna squeezed Scootaloo’s hoof again. “I am sorry, child. You should not have to hear such things. Frustration sometimes leads us to say things we do not mean.”
“But that’s just it.” Scootaloo’s voice trembled. “I think that is what she really means, and she’s just trying to be nice to my face. I want to live with somepony who wants me. I… I want to live with Rainbow. I don’t want to be scared at night anymore if there’s a weird sound or… or a shadow or something. I want somepony to tuck me into bed. I want somepony to be there. I know I sound like a baby, but—”
Luna placed her hoof over the filly’s mouth. “Scootaloo, there is no need to feel shame. All foals want these things.” Luna paused, frowning. “Your words... disturb me, child. I suspect the situation is more complex than you know, but more information is needed. I will dream-walk with your aunt tomorrow night, but in the meantime—” Luna’s face softened into a gentle smile “—if Rainbow Dash is to be your sister, then why have you not simply asked her for residence?”
Scootaloo trembled, staring miserably down at the downy cloud top. “Because I can’t fly!” she finally wailed. “I can’t ask Rainbow to carry me back and forth between her house or to Cloudsdale all the time! So I keep trying, but I mess it up every single time! I’ve tried and tried, and I just can’t! And then everypony else flies off or... or goes home for the night, and I’m all alone again!” She wiped her eyes, and then threw her hooves around the princess. “This dream is nice and all, but when I wake up, I’m still just going to be Scootaloo with her useless wings. I’m still going to be alone.”
Luna inserted her hoof between them and gently pushed the filly until they were sitting opposite each other. Crossing one leg over the other, Luna sat silently for a moment. Cocking her head to the side, she scrutinized Scootaloo. “Are you sure?” she said finally.
Scootaloo looked down at the interposing hoof, and then up into Luna’s unreadable face. “Huh?”
Luna arched an elegant eyebrow. “When you wake, will you be the same? Have you not learned to love flying?”
Scootaloo looked away. “But that only works here, and I need it to work out there.”
Luna took the filly’s chin in her hoof and guided her head back. “When I told you that love was essential to flying, I did not limit that to dreams. All creatures of the air love to fly. However, you were angry at flying, fearful of failure and despairing of consequence. But how do you feel now? If I were to take to the air, would you follow?”
It took Scootaloo a few moments to realize that her wings were flapping. “In a heartbeat!”
“Then who knows?” Luna winked at her. “This may be the day that you succeed. You won’t know unless you try, and to try, you must release your pain.” Holding her leg out, she beckoned to Scootaloo. The filly jumped, throwing her hooves around Luna’s neck. “This does not mean you should never hurt,” she whispered into Scootaloo’s ear. “Sadness and anger are part of life, but we are meant to experience these things and move past them, not store them inside of us forevermore. A chained heart will never fly.” She took Scootaloo’s cheeks in her hooves, staring directly into the filly’s eyes. “What does your heart say, Scootaloo? Is it ready to soar?”
“Yes!” Scootaloo nodded vigorously. “It’s ready! I’m ready!”
“Then awaken, Scootaloo!” Gathering the filly up, Luna threw her high into the air. “Awaken, and fly!”
~~~
Scootaloo stood at the edge of the cliff and stared down at the lake rippling gently several yards below. Her reflection stared back. Its eyes were bright with anticipation, but its lips were pursed tightly. Scootaloo took a deep breath. Relax. You can do this.
Above her, the clouds floated lazily through the sky. Birds wheeled beneath them, crying out an invitation for the pegasus to join them in the morning’s crisp air. She couldn’t remember the last time that looking up hadn’t fill her with envy, but today was different. The dream had changed everything.
She inhaled deeply, and then grinned. The air here was moist and aromatic. Below her, Ponyville’s neighboring lake stretched off into the horizon. Fish were bursting from its gleaming surface, leaping to catch the bugs that flew too low. The wind picked up again, and it carried with it the scent of the Apple family’s vast orchard. To Scootaloo, the whole day smelled like adventure.
Licking her hoof, she stuck it into the air. Perfect, she thought, nodding. The lake’s cooling effect caught the air, funneling right into the spot where Scootaloo stood. Rainbow always says that I should face right into the wind.
Scootaloo set her jaw and trotted backward. Okay, this is it! She stretched out one wing, and then the other, flexing them to warm the muscles. Overhead, the birds chattered, diving and banking as one. Watch out, guys! Here I come!
She dug her hind hooves into the ground, flexing her legs to make sure that she had solid purchase. Scootaloo wanted to make sure that she had the best running start that she could get. For a moment, she was still, watching the birds. Her heart soared with them.
Then, she sprang forward, galloping toward the cliff’s edge.
With each pounding hooffall, she felt lighter, happier, and more free than she’d ever been before. Grinning broadly, she unfurled her wings and pumped them as quickly as she was able. Scootaloo tilted her head to the sky. Finally, she knew where she belonged.
And at the cliff’s edge, she leapt.
Author's Note
So many people helped me with this story. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone.
Thanks to Knight of Cerebus for his editing.
Thanks to Chris, Dragonas77, Loeden, Statoose, Skeeter the Lurker, Steel Resolve, RainbowBob, SongCoyote, Karrakaz, Yildun, Pascoite, and Noble Thought, and probably a bunch of other people for their opinions. You all really help me out.
