The Crime Mares Club

by Aurora Aura

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 2265

The CMC decided the only thing left to try to earn their cutie marks is what's less than legal and it quickly gets out of hoof as a ripped mattress tag becomes a gateway to jaywalking and other heinous acts of evil.

The CMC decided the only thing left to try to earn their cutie marks is what's less than legal and it quickly gets out of hoof as a ripped mattress tag becomes a gateway to jaywalking and other heinous acts of evil.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-07 03:46:53 UTC

Chapter 1

"That'll never work Scoot, and even if it did, ya know I don't like touching bathroom spoons," Applebloom said, shooting down her friend's latest plan to earn them their cutie marks.

"And besides," Sweetie Belle chimed in. "You know waffles bring out the pirate in me."

"Yeah I know," Scootaloo said, defeat weighing heavily on her tone. "I don't suppose either of you have any ideas?"

Both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom thought about this for a moment before Sweetie said "well, we haven't tried to run a zoo yet."

Scootaloo was already shaking her head at the idea.

"What?" Sweetie Belle demanded.

"This is the real world Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo began, "ponies don't just hand out monkeys."

"Oh, right."

The three sat in silence for a little while longer, each staring at a different direction in Apple Bloom's room. Apple Bloom lay on the edge of her bed, her head hanging over one side. Scootaloo was gazing out the window and out at their clubhouse that was currently out of commission, but at least they knew that they were not destined to be fire fighters. Sweetie Belle just stared at the floor with one hoof on her chin. Some time passed before any of them broke the silence.

Sweetie looked up and began "what if we-" THUD "Uh, Apple Bloom, are you okay?"

Apple Bloom was now laying head first on her floor, Scootaloo was stifling a giggle. Apple Bloom rolled over and stood up. "Yeah I'm fine," she said, a little embarrassed.

"What happened?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Nothing, let's stop taking about it." Apple Bloom turned to her bed and began to climb the side only to stop short after a very audible tearing sound.

"What was that" asked Scootaloo.

"One easy way to find out." Apple Bloom said as she moved the covers away from were she had been climbing up until she stripped that part of her bed to the mattress itself.

"Huh, I guess nothing ripped," Sweetie Belle said, surprise in her voice. Apple Bloom didn't respond to that, as if turned to stone by cockatrice, she was petrified in her spot.

Scootaloo trotted over to the bedside to have a look herself to see what had her friend so worried. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both looked over either of Apple Bloom's shoulder and down on the mattress where they saw a small piece of paper torn at a seam that seemed to once attach to the mattress itself. On the face of the tag read the simple sentence 'do not remove under penalty of law'

The three fillies sat their in silence for a moment taking in what had just happened before Apple Bloom said "I'm doomed."

"No you aren't Apple Bloom, we can hide this," Sweetie Belle offered.

"Maybe it isn't that bad," Scootaloo said, more to herself than to comfort her friend.

"Not that bad, Scootaloo this is as bad as it gets!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Hear me out, we have tried everything for our cutie marks right?" Scootaloo asked and waited for the nods from the other two fillies before continuing. "Wrong, because we've limited ourselves to what's socially acceptable, but what if we are destined to be the greatest criminals ever?"

"I don't know Scootaloo, that seems like it could end really badly. What do you think Sweetie Belle?"

"I think Scoot might be onto something here."

Apple Bloom contemplated this for a moment before addressing Scootaloo. "Alright, I'm willing to give this a shot, but I think we should get rid of this tag first." The other two nodded in agreement.

The three fillies made their way out the front door of the Apple family barn and around the corner to where they keep the trash bins only to see Applejack and Big Macintosh waiting by the bins.

"So you are saying that this is the only way?" Asked Applejack.

"Eeyup."

Applejack gave an annoyed sigh and said, " fine, I'll go grease up the rat."

Applejack trotted away but Big Mac stuck around. The three young girls just stood their, Scootaloo leaned over to Apple Bloom and whispered, "he's still there."

"Really Scootaloo? I didn't notice." Apple Bloom snapped back.

"What are we going to do?" Asked Sweetie Belle.

"I have an idea," Apple Bloom told them as she began to walk away. "Come on, follow me. And grab the shovel."

The three walled for what seemed like hours before reaching a very secluded spot out in the south orchard. Apple Bloom walked underneath a tree and began to dig. The fillies took turns digging the hole until the sun threatened to fall beneath the horizon.

"This should be good enough." Apple Bloom said as she climbed out of the hole. She took one last look around and dropped the mattress tag into the hole and the three of them began to move the dirt back into place. Once they were finished they exchanged glances with each other for a moment before Apple Bloom said what the other two already knew.

"We can never speak of again."

"We know Apple Bloom. No one can ever find out." Scootaloo responded.

"Girls, I'm scared," Sweetie Belle said nervously.

"Well get used to it because first thing tomorrow morning we earn our cutie marks" said Scootaloo.

"I know. But I was thinking about that and what kind of stuff are we going to do?"

Apple Bloom answered with "I was thinking the same thing and I figured twilight must have a book of laws somewhere."

Scootaloo made an audible groan at what Apple Bloom had said. "We start our life of crime by going to the library? Lame."

"Do you have a better idea?" Asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo sighed, "no."

"Then I guess we are starting or life of crime with a trip to our local library."

Apple Bloom nodded. "Right, first thing tomorrow morning we'll all meet up there." And with that the three made the trek back to town and to their beds.

Chapter 2

Apple Bloom walked through the arching doorway into the main room of Golden Oaks Library. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were sitting in the corner speaking in far too loud hushed wispers. Applebloom walked to over to her friends who had broken their quite discussion to greet their friend.

"Hi Applebloom, you know you're late right?" Scootaloo asked.

"I know Scoots, it's just that I couldn't get any sleep last night."

"Well you had better get that conscience in check because I know where we are going to start," Sweetie Belle chimed in.

"Oh? What did you have in mind?" Applebloom asked curiously, putting her worried in the back of her mind for now. Scootaloo answered for Sweetie with a hoof wave motioning Applebloom closer. Applebloom leaned her head in and turned an ear to Scootaloo.

"You're going to get Winona and we are going to walk her through the town park without a leash and not clean up after her," Scootaloo then leaning back and gave a smug smile towards her friend. Applebloom looked towards Scootaloo then to Sweetie Belle then gave a determined nod. She opened her mouth to comment on the idea but before she could voice her opinion the library door opened and Twilight walked in followed by Shining Armor and Spike.

"I'm just saying maybe you should stop mail ordering bacteria Twily," Shining Armor said, exasperation evident. Shining Armor was losing the will to continue the debate.

"Well I mean it's not so much the bacteria's fault, frankly after that Everfree debacle the biggest concern is slippery wolves," Twilight pointed out.

"As true as that is I still think it'll save you a lot of trouble."

Twilight nodded to her brother then noticed the onlooking trio of fillies. "How did you girls get in here?"

"The front door was unlocked and since it's still a public library we just, kinda, walked in," Scootaloo answered a little too quickly. Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"Well, while I love seeing you girls take an interest in books I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come back later. Feel free to take with you whatever books you want but as you can see my brother is visiting and we'd like some privacy to catch up."

"Alright Twi, we were just heading out anyways," Applebloom told her.

"Thanks girls." With that the trio left the library.

"So back to Sweet Apple Acres then?" Asked Sweetie Belle.

"I guess that's the plan, come on girls. Maybe we can even break a few rules on the way there," Applebloom said excitedly.

"Yeah, like um, not crossing that main street at the crosswalk," Scootaloo added.

"Is that against the law? I always thought that was just a suggestion, like 'cross here for optimal crossing' or something," said Sweetie Belle.

"Optimal crossing?" asked Scootaloo.

"What?"

"It's nothing Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo said with a smile.

"Well then lets just go and get started then," Sweetie Belle said, more than a little annoyed as she began walking towards Applebloom's home. The three young fillies walked for about ten minutes before they got to the main road that goes through Ponyville and while there is rarely a through traffic at all due to Ponyville's proximity to the Everfree Forest the town council had a crosswalk put in for those rare occasions it becomes necessary. Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were looking at the road, as if it would alert the world the moment their hoofs touched it.

"Uh, you should go first Sweetie Belle, y'know, since you said you don't think it's against any rule or anything, " Applebloom said without turning her gaze.

"Nonononononono. I think Scootaloo should get to go first, this was her idea after all," Sweetie Belle answered.

"I'd love to, but, um, you go ahead first Apple Bloom."

Sweetie Belle sighed, "How about all at the same time?"

"Alright, that sounds like a good idea," Applebloom said.

Scootaloo nodded in agreement and added "on the count of three. Ready. One, Two," Scootaloo gave a single audible gulp and said "Three." And with that the three fillies bolted to the other side of the street as fast as their hoofs would take them. Once they were on the other side the looked back and forth from each other and began to break into a fit of giggles.

"That wasn't so bad," Sweetie Belle said.

"I knew it wouldn't be," Scootaloo added.

"Alright girls, come on lets hurry up and get Winona," Applebloom said, pointing a forehoof towards the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Agreed," Scootaloo said.

The three had rounded the first corner when they saw Applejack and Pinkie Pie walking in their general direction.

"How many organic marshmallow farmers do you think there are in the world?" Asked Pinkie Pie.

"Uh, 'ah dunno Pinkie Pie. I don't think ya can even grow marshmallows," Applejack answered the prancing pink pony. Applejack noticed her sister and her friends approaching and decided that would be the easiest way to change the topic before her easily excitable friend went on a rant about the logistics of marshmallow farming.

"Howdy there girls, staying out of trouble?" Applejack asked with a smile.

"Yes! What makes you think we wouldn't be I mean it's no-" Applebloom was cut off by the orange and white hoofs of her friends, who both put on the best fake smile they could muster. Applejack leaned her head back and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh, and what exactly are you three on your way to go do right now?"

"We were just on our way to take Winona through a walk in the park." Applebloom said, pushing her friend's hoofs away from her face.

"Well that wont be necessary little sis."

"What, what?" asked Applebloom, honestly curious.

"Big Mac took her with him to keep him company while he works in the west field today," Applejack informed them. The three fillies all looked disappointed at the news so Applejack added "but tomorrow should be fine so you three can try to get your cutie marks in dog walking or whatever your reason for wanting to take Winona that far across Ponyville when Sweet Apple Acres has plenty of space to run around in." The three perked up a little at that then began to give each other meaningful looks. Applejack turned to Pinkie Pie who just shrugged.

After a moment of silent glances Sweetie Belle spoke, "Well we can go to my house, Rarity is at the spa with Fluttershy today so we don't have to worry about bothering her work."

"Yeah, that sound like a good idea, later sis." With that the three ran off to the Carousel Boutique.

Applejack turned back to Pinkie Pie and asked "What do ya think those three are up to?"

"I have no idea," Pinkie Pie answered cheerfully.

"Did ya get a weird feeling about what they're up too? They just seemed so, 'ah dunno, nervous. Like they thought we had caught them red hoofed."

"I only ever get a weird feeling whenever my Pinkie sense is acting up or when I eat a really bad cupcake but then it goes away."

"Right ... ah'm going to find out what those three are up too, wanna help?"

"Sure, sounds like fun," Pinkie answered with a laugh.

Applejack nodded in the direction the three foals had run off in and said, "well we had better get a move on then, they are putting a good bit of distance between us."