Discord with Discord

by poppll

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2570

With Discord's castle in ruins, he slips through the magic mirror and finds himself a house guest of a particularly cute girl.

Discord's castle is destroyed by the guy himself. So with no home, his only option is to find refuge in the one place no one knows him (or of his shenanigans). That would be the human world. Upon arrival, Discord snags himself a room at 'Hotel LuLu'. And has more fun that LuLu hopes for.

Published 2014-02-27 00:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-22 16:10:35 UTC

Discord's a Hobo

"Oh, Fluttershy, don't worry your little head about your little furballs. They're in good paws."

"Discord, thank you. I could never have gone with Twilight to Saddle Arabia if my little Angel Bunny wasn't safe." Fluttershy giggled a bit. To be honest, she would've willingly left her animals with Spike, who had grown accustomed to watching her animals. However, she couldn't let up on the opportunity to see Discord. Even if it did mean having to travel across nearly all of Equestria purely by hoof and wing whilst carting all her critters, as no train service in its right mind would possibly build a railroad to Discord's house. Or, maybe house was an understatement. The place was ginormous, with a peculiar monastary-like quality about it. It felt like a place you simply had to visit when someone died. Not that it was gloomy in anyway. It was more... chaotic. Fluttershy supposed that was why she had developed a little bit of a crush on him. He wasn't like any stallion in Ponyville. After all, most ponies' mindset was that after Discord's uninvited return, they'd had their fill of chaos.

"So, you're perfectly okay with everypony?" Fluttershy inquired, just as Discord had wrapped his paw and his claw around Angel in a threatening way, which would've been obvious had Fluttershy not been so infatuated with Discord's every breath.

"Why, of course! Angel and I, we're like this," Discord exclaimed, crossing his huge lion paw-fingers.

Fluttershy had noticed his peculiar grip on her precious little bunny, and she could tell it hurt by the way Angel kept re-positioning himself in order to find a good angle to bite Discord from. "Oh, yes. Thank you so much!" Fluttershy shouted behind her. At least, to her it was a loud shout. To any normal person, you'd only be able to tell what she was saying if you could lip read, which would be hard, as ponies don't actually have lips. Discord, however, heard her, Celestia knows how. Angel heard too, with his big floppy ears. Not exactly the best moment in their friendship. And so Fluttershy left to deal with the animal infestation in Saddle Arabia. That left Discord on his own with Fluttershy's animals. And there were a lot of them.

"If I weren't trying to get on Celestia's good side, you'd all be toast. Now really, what difference does a cherry make?" Discord sighed discontentedly, resting his head on his wide, furry paw. He had tried this pose with the claw, and never went back to that dreaded pose again. At least, not with his claw. Angel knew just what Discord was referring to, and promptly stuck his tongue out and hopped off to some mischievous deed elsewhere. "Hey, where're you going?" Discord stood up, his eyes following the bunny as he just disappeared from view. "Get back here, little brat! I'm not losing any points with Celestia, or even Fluttershy for that matter." And then Angel hopped into the bathroom. The bathroom. Sticking his tongue out at the reddened Discord, Angel shut (and locked) the door. Discord thought to use an unlocking spell, before he remembered his endeavors with Celestia's second or third visit to his mansion. Discord had cast a cute little prank spell on the door, so if any unicorns, alicorns, or any other beings with magic decided to try to unlock the door, they'd be met with electric waves to the horn. In retrospect, the look on Celestia's slightly charred face was NOT worth what he was enduring now. The spell could only be undone from the inside, too, to put the icing on the cake. So that left Discord with the last thing he'd want to do to stop the bunny before he flushed himself down the toilet or something. Discord snapped, braced himself against the wall, and began firing lasers out of his newly conjured Iron Man style gauntlet. Flurries of white flashed everywhere, as the unpainted plaster crumbled off walls everywhere. He hadn't done this for a while, and his aim was way off. Finally, Discord, took a deep breath and aimed his paw at the door. "Hasta la vista, bunny!" Discord shouted. He could feel his energy being driven up his body into his paw slowly as his spell began charging up. Then, to everypony's dismay, Discord felt the door slam against his face as Angel pushed it open with all his might. Discord's aim was thrown off even more, and every bunny, turtle, bear, and draconequus in the room turned to watch in awe as the bright, colorless beam fired itself around the room until it came to rest on a certain pillar that just so happened to be the only support pillar Discord had bothered to have.

"You WHAT?" Luna shrieked in laughter. After his castle's untimely demise, Discord had gone to the only beings who could probably help him. Not to mention that he was still hanging onto Angel in his arms to avoid another catastrophe.

"Now, Luna, let's stay calm. After all, I did warn Discord about that stupid spell."

"That's only because I was too smart to fall for it, Tia. Admit it, this is the stupidest thing he's done yet."

"You know, I still can't believe his alibi about the bunny. Angel looks so... angelic. He's probably just covering up his nonsense."

"Hello? Right here? Honestly, Celly, I thought you'd really believe in my 100% completely reformed self." Discord put on his best pout face, making Luna laugh even harder.

"Celly? That's what you call her? Oh, new nickname. New nickname. What'd she give you?"

"Oh, Celly's terrible at nicknames. What's she call you? Lulu?" Discord and Luna both broke out in maximum hysteria only proven to be not-quite-max hysteria after Celestia gave a mournful nod.

"Can we focus?" Celly snapped. "Discord's out of a home, and Fluttershy won't be back for weeks from Saddle Arabia."

"Well," Luna began, still trying to rid herself of the infectious laughter. "There is another Fluttershy."

"What? Luna, you can't possibly mean..."

"It'll only be until Fluttershy and Twilight return. And in the meantime, we can work on rebuilding the castle. Shouldn't take too long."

"Your Highnesses! There are animals in the castle!" A guard came rushing in, looking halfway between blushed and panicked.

"Yes, Flash, we know. They're penned up for now, so it's o-" Celestia was clearly too exhausted to deal with her pitifully stupid guards and her pitifully annoying sister at the same time.

"No, they escaped!" Nevermind. Celestia popped her eyes open, wide awake now.

"Discord," Celly panted. "We never found the lock. Where. Is. It."

"Now, Celly. Why must we always jump to conclusions? I chased the furballs just as much as you."

"You don't seem tired. AT ALL." Luna yelled (...HOARSELY...) between deep breaths.

"Well, you two really should get more exercise. I'm fit as a fiddle, on the other hoof."

"You've been... in stone... for a... thousand years... and then some."

"That's beside the point, Luna. Fact is, now our castle is as dead as Discord's."

"It'll take longer to shift the rubble, recover all the artifacts, and rebuild two castles without revealing the location of Discord's castle to anypony. Who knows what crazed ponies can do?"

"So, he'll be there... for a while, won't he..."

"Would somepony tell me what's going on here?" Discord snapped, throwing his arms in the air.

Celestia and Luna exchanged glances at each other, then at Discord. It was not going to be pretty, but it was their only option.

Author's Note

So, my first fanfic on this site! I'm excited to write this, as it features one of my OC's! Isn't that just fab? I will be writing the other part to this, 'Your Biggest Fan' later, as this has more inspiration and I feel it will be better to understand this series of events before the YBF storyline. I hope I made the basic plot line fairly obvious at this point.

Please, comment if you find any errors, specifically under the differences between the pony language and English (ie. everypony/everybody, anypony/anybody, etc.) My fingers are used to English. THANKS! And any suggestions are welcome! (Just be nice about it OwO)

Through the Discord Glass

Author's Note

Okay, I would like to point something out, just to clear it up. LuLu is not Luna. LuLu is my personal OC. Her full name is Lumina Flower, and I capitalize the second L to emphasize the difference between the two. Also, the castles are not instantly repaired because the buildings are magical (as my headcanon goes). Just live with it.

Through the Discord Glass

"So, who's this Fluttershy you were talking about?" Discord asked, snuggling up into a tattered sleeping bag. Celestia had conjured up silken sleeping bags for herself and her sister, and gave Discord one she felt fitted his sass. Discord, being too tired to do anything about it, curled up. After being in stone for quite a while, he was used to awkward sleeping arrangements.

"Nopony. Now go to sleep, Discord." Luna sighed, rolling over so she would not have to look at Discord. "We already went through with your 'camping indoors' idea, and that was just to shut you up."

"Oh, Luna. I thought it was for us to bond! After all, we are staying at the house of the most powerful alicorn in Equestria. And what does she represent?" Discord smirked at his insult. "Friendship."

"Shut it, Discord." Luna summoned a pair of earmuffs and blocked Discord out.

"Oh, alright. But I expect a full explanation in the morning."

"You're getting something alright."

"It's a mirror."

"That's very good, Discord! You earn a gold star for effort!" Luna found that continuing to mock her down-to-earth sister and the head-in-the-clouds nuisance who had kept her up the whole night with his snoring. She was still nocturnal, but man, was he loud. Her eardrums were still bursting.

"I know I still have my feminine charm, but how does this," Discord flexed here, showing off what little muscle he had. "relate to Fluttershy?"

"Okay, let me sum it up for you." Celestia said, rather robotically. "This mirror happens to be an ancient relic, and is a portal to another dimension. I call it Earth, like the earth ponies."

"And there is a Fluttershy in that dimension, as there is a Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and even a Celestia and Luna."

"Anypony else in there?"

"Well, we haven't identified one like you, or a Twilight Sparkle. Other than her, it seems to be only ponies."

"So you're staying there until we can get everything done. Understood?"

"Yes, Celly. So, when do I leave?"

"Now." And with that, Luna pushed Discord through the mirror and into 'Earth'.

"Some ruler. Pushing ponies though portals to unusual dimensions. Forget cotton candy clouds; THAT'S criminal." Discord grumbled, standing up and brushing himself off. He was quick to get used to this unusual form, as he already stood on his hind legs most of the time. He already knew how paws and claws functioned, so hands were a cinch. The only thing Discord couldn't quite grasp was what he actually looked like.

He looked like a 21-year-old man, about as old as Celestia was in this world. He wore a brown turtle neck and red sweatpants. And where his antlers once were, there was a blue and white ball cap. His skin was gray and his hair was white. The next few weeks were just BOUND to be interesting.

Dawn of the Discord

"Outta the way, dude!" A boy hollered, whizzing by on some... contraption. It looked like that infernal little scooter that one of those Ponyville foals rode, yet it missed its handlebars. Discord brushed himself off, albeit the young boy hadn't touched him. He looked around, finally taking in his surroundings. Discord appeared to be in the yard of a tall building, not unlike some in Equestria. But instead of ponies, strange creatures, not unlike himself, dotted the landscape. Some had manes like some of the ponies in Ponyville (Discord clearly identified Cherilee, Applejack, Big Mac, and that little girl... what was her name? Ah, nevermind.) Suddenly, Discord felt a thump on his back.

"Who goes there?" He shouted instinctively.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't- You see, I- I- I'm sorry." A familiar voice whispered.

"Fluttershy?"

"Oh, hello, umm... Are you a teacher?"

"Wow, how great to see you, Fluttershy! I'm not one to get afraid, but this entire place is out of wack! I mean, seriously. A blue sky? How original."

"Oh, wait, I know you!" Fluttershy gasped.

"Excellent! Now, if you could-"

"You're that escaped mental patient from the news channel!" Fluttershy screamed ~ well, what would be considered a scream for Fluttershy.

"What? I know I'm chaotic, but mental? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Applejack!" Fluttershy ran off in tears.

"Was it something I said?"

"Hey, you!" A voice shot out. "Whatcha doing here?"

"Who, me? Oh, nothing much. Just standing around, avoiding these insane contraptions all around. Honestly, I'd think you people have a thing for walking, what with these crazy shoes. Where I'm from, nopony-nobody wears any shoes."

"You mean the hoosegow?"

"Well, it's a bit... delusional, in some eyes, but I wouldn't call it a hoosegow. I'm Discord, but you already know that, don't you?" Discord finally turned himself around to face a small little girl with orange skin and... sharp? lavender hair. And to Discord's (shock? dismay? Take your pick.) the girl was wielding a small switchblade. It was even more shocking that Discord recognized this girl.

"LuLu?"

"Wait, what?"

"LuLu. It was your brother's nickname for you before he really went to the "hoosegow"."

"I know what it means, but.. how... when... what?"

"Wow, has it been so long? You aren't even the same anymore. Back then, you would've giggled and punched me."

"Who are you?"

"I thought we went over this, LuLu! I'm Discord, from your little hoosegow. Wow, that's a fun word! Hoosegow, hoosegow, hoosegow, hoose-" Bam. As Discord had said just before, LuLu punched him across the face, or, her height being so small, in the gut.

"I was expecting a more... polite welcome."

"I'm callin' the cops."

"Wait! I still have to go home, remember?"

"No, no I don't remember."

"WELL I DO! And I can't do this unless I can be AT this statue, EVERY DAY. You, know, in case little miss Luna decides that they're done over there."

"What could you possibly have to do with Miss Luna?"

"Oh, well, long story short, we're pretty much best friends."

"You need a place to stay, right? Go ask your best friend, then."

"Yeah, she doesn't remember me. At least, not this Luna."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing important to you. Speaking of which, isn't your brother's room still open?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Perfect. I'll see you there, Lumina."

"What?" LuLu gasped, and tried to make another swing for Discord's head, but he was already skipping happily away from the school. "Damn it."

Author's Note

So, I know this took a while, but I'm ready with the next chapter. I'm going to try to see how well this plays out in the next chapters before posting them though, so expect an even longer wait.