My A** is Frozen

by Joshleb1098

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 6962

"Follow the cosplayers of the Lich King and Lelouch vi Britannia on their journey to take over Equestria."

A story for The League of Humans Acting Villainous.

Dave and Frank, close brothers, decide to go to Comic-Con this year as their favorite evil rulers: the Lich King of Warcraft and Zero of Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion. They get some otherwordly equipment for their costumes, and find their way into Equestria. With new intimidating powers, they plan to conquer the world, and they won't let anything stop them.

Inspired by all the fabulous stories and people in the League of Humans Acting Villainous.
Lich King is from Warcraft 3, and Zero is from Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion.

Published 2014-02-25 01:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-02 16:14:03 UTC

Chapter 1

"The hell...?"

"Ugh... fuckin' ow, dude..."

I felt awful. My back hurt, my head hurt, my everything hurt, and I was pretty sure I just woke up on a bag of potatoes.

"Move, goddammit..!" Nope, it was a person.

Without delay, I carefully lifted my armored form off of my brother. As I searched for my missing helmet and sword, which had likely fallen off somewhere, I took note of my surroundings.

I was in an unfamiliar forest. The area was all very lush and green, which was a stark contrast to anywhere I was familiar with. At my feet, the Frostmourne stuck up with its blade buried in the ground. It looked as if it was begging to be grasped once more. As if I'm ever going to give this thing up! I thought, wrapping my fingers around it. With a slight tug, it easily slid out of the ground and I pointed it up to the sun. It reflected the light gloriously, save for a few chunks of dirt marring it. As I wiped it off, the voice returned.
Good work, Dave, very good work! I knew you had it in you.

Frank sat up, groaning in pain."Where the hell am I?" he asked. His hand knocked on something metal in the grass, which he lifted to inspect.

"Our privates weren't plundered while we were out, so I guess we're not in California," I said, snatching the helmet out of Frank's hands. It was my Lich King helmet, but it was made of real metal. Patting my costume down, I saw that the entire thing had changed, too. The spikes on my pauldron were steel, the skulls on my chest plate was seemingly actual bone, there was chain mail underneath rather than patterned cloth, and my boots had thick fur underneath the metal plates. I suppose everything turned... real? I was surprised I hadn't already noticed just how much heavier I was.

Frank didn't look any different - I suppose that's because he couldn't resemble his character more closely than he already did.

As I put my helmet on, we heard voices coming from not too far away.

"'Tis here, father! 'Twas a light I saw, from just o'er here!" A young boy's voice was the first.

"I heard you, child. There is no rush." This voice sounded older, and really tired. Me and Frank looked at each other, and decided to stay put and see what was up. And in only a few moments, their footsteps grew closer. But then, they sounded a bit different then they should...

From a leaf-covered trail, two colorful ponies emerged. They stared at us, mouths gaping open in shock, mimicking our own (hidden) expressions.

"Father, what are those?" the young blue pony (colt?) asked.

"I haven't a clue," the teal stallion replied.

Since my mouth was already open, I decided to speak to them. "Uh... Er, hello," I said, waving my free left hand. The other held Frostmourne, which I had subtly put behind my back.

"T-... Thou speaketh?..."

"You're surprised? I am too," I said.

"From whence doth thou cometh?"

"... Pardon?"

"From whence doth thou-"

"No, I heard, I just don't know what you're saying." Really, that outdated way of speaking was kinda confusing for me.

"Thine origin," he clarified. "What bringeth thee to these woods?" I couldn't stop looking at his ears; they just kept flopping around expressively. One was down and another up, and his head was slightly cocked, so he looked confused.

"... Oh, I'm not completely sure myself... Say, where am I, exactly?"

"Thou knoweth not thine own location? 'Tis the back woods neareth to the castle of our fair Princesses."

"Daddy," the child interrupted - rudely, I might add. "The purple one doth unsettle me..." We looked behind me to see Frank, who hasn't moved at all from his seated position seemingly staring at the foal. His mask was still on and his visor was down, but he hasn't so much as twitched. I assume he was trying to process just what exactly was going on... he had his work cut out for him, then. I decided to call the attention away from him.
"That's just my brother, don't worry. He's just here with me. Which way is this castle, now?" The stallion turned back to me, but the foal was still hiding behind his father's hind leg, cautiously watching Frank.

"'Tis back down the path of mine own approach. Thou shalt find it a straight road, to a bridge o'er a river, and from there 'round the back of that Castle of the Royal Sisters."

I mulled over my options. I didn't see why I shouldn't go there, and I wasn't one to sit around and wait for something to happen. It was clear that this was a new world entirely, and that meant there was a lot to explore. Plus, it would be nice to go somewhere that could have food...
I decided that it would be a good idea, but I wouldn't go without Frank's opinion. "Could you give us a few moments of privacy, mister..."

"Lemon. And I shall oblige." He nodded to me, and nudged his child. "Come along, Guilty," he prompted, and the two of them moved away towards the trail. They began to talk, and I began to wonder who the hell names his son Guilty.

But, that aside. "Frank? You good?"
"P... puh... eeeehhhhhhh..." he made sputtering, incoherent noises, one that told me clearly that his brain had shut down.

"Get it together, bro. Come on, it's not that weird," I joked. Suddenly bursting with frantic energy, he clearly had a few objections to that statement.

"'Not that weird?' Are you KIDDING? Talking, colorful, PONIES! Pony PRINCESSES! That little pony had eyes bigger than his ears! And YOU - Your ARMOR! And MY outfit! And -" I cut him off.

"Hey, nothing changed with your outfit." He responded by raising both his hands up, doing nothing. Then suddenly, instead of his entire visor, a section of it slid open to show his left eye.

"I used to use a string in the sleeve. I don't even know how I'm doing this now." An adjacent section slid away to reveal another eye, and they slid up and down over and over. "It's kinda like blinking..." he comments. I didn't know how to respond to that.

"Well, okay. Then -" This time, he cut me off.

"You said this ISN'T weird? What part of this isn't weird then? Why - you were just talking to them, you just accepted it all just like that, can't you see what the hell is wrong here? Like, everything?" He had stopped playing with his visor, leaving it completely open.

"Yeah, yeah, calm down! Yeah, this is strange. It's completely unbelievable. But it is. That's all that really matters, right? Think about it for a second - we're here, in an unbelievable place, and it seems we also have unbelievable powers, but as long as we actually are here, there's nothing to believe or not believe. This is just it. So as long as this here is the case... what are we gonna do?" I watched my brother as what I said sunk in, and he took a deep breath. He leaned back against a tree, crossing his arms behind his head and looking up.

"I guess," he started, "we go along with it." I grinned.

"Yeah, that's right. Don't fight it, just let it happen..."

"Goddamnit Dave."

A sudden, shrill cry pierced through the air as the foal screamed his agony. I looked over to see what was wrong, and I saw him bleeding profusely from the neck. The father was panicking, stomping at a snake in the grass that had a single huge, bloody, razor-sharp tooth. It darted away into the bushes, and me and Frank ran over as fast as possible.

"What the hell was that?" I shouted, grabbing the colt and pressing my fingers against his neck to try and stop the bleeding. The wound was really wide and deep, and I couldn't stop the blood from escaping from my hand. "Oh god, oh god oh god oh god..." I tried as best as I could, and Lemon shoved me away with a surprising strength. He pulled some thick leaves from the closest bush to him and tried to wrap them around, but that wasn't working either. My heart raced, I was on the verge of panicking, and I begged my sword for help.

'Please, oh god PLEASE have a healing spell, you can do that dimension thing, please tell me you can heal this kid too!'

The voice of a savior echoed through my skull: I have something for this. Here is the spell you need.
A rush of thought and incomprehensible concepts once again invaded my mind, but I knew to expect it. I pointed my sword up to the kid, and I got ready to cast. 'Just tell me the words!'
I heard them, and shouted them without even waiting for her to finish the last syllable.

"DEATH COIL!"

...

... I fucked up.

I felt exhausted in a manner I can't easily describe, as arcing beams of purple and black light ripped forth from Frostmourne, and with a sound like crushing dried leaves, it slammed into the foal. His screaming stopped, his kicking ceased, and his eyes went blank.

Everyone was silent.

"G... Guilty? Son?" Lemon poked the kid with a forehoof.

"No..." I barely heard Frank whisper.

"Guilty?" Lemon attempted to lift a leg, but it was already stiffening. The colt was most clearly and most obviously dead, and the stallion knew it.

"GUILTY!?" He shouted, tears running free, burying his face in his deceased son's coat. I, for one, was scared out of my mind. I couldn't believe it. Why the FUCK did I trust that voice in the first place?!?

'You little BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!' There was no reply. My brother looked at me from behind his one-way transparent visor. I couldn't see his face, but I could imagine how he looked. But, he had to know it was an accident... right?

"I'll... you'll be seen dead for this," the stallion muttered. He sniffled, and stood up straight. "Thou shalt be KILLED! The guard shalt swarm thee, and take thee back to Tartarus, DOTH THOU HEAR ME?!?" He shouted at me, his voice echoing all throughout the woods. He snatched the corpse up onto his back and galloped away down the path an amazing speed. "GUAAAARDS!" he shouted, over and over, and I panicked again, this time because I had murder on my hands, and I did not want to face the consequences. A dark thought crossed my mind, and this time, it was my own: 'It's not a crime if there are no witnesses!'

"Death Coil!" I shouted, pointing my blade at the retreating stallion. I panted, suddenly tired, and the arc struck him on a back hoof. It staggered him, that leg went limp, and I angled the strike again: "Death Coil!" That exhausting feeling came in force, and I was left panting and heaving as the next beam crashed directly onto Lemon's flank. He survived it, but his back legs were completely out of commission. He cried, shouted out for the guards, and my brother was just watching without knowing what to do. I hefted my sword up, numbly moving one leg forward. "Dea... huff, Death... ugh," I fell forward onto my knees, too tired to hold myself up, and I fell again onto my face. The helmet made the fall even more painful.

The shouting hadn't stopped, and I heard several hoofbeats as I suspected multiple more ponies ran to the scene. They hadn't arrived yet, and my brother recovered from his shock. Which is good - I trusted my brother even more than myself. He knew what to do.

"Come on, Dave," he coaxed, trying to lift me. It was obvious that I was way too heavy for him to lift, and I couldn't move anywhere with all of my energy sapped away. The distant hoofbeats were getting closer, and Frank knew that meant trouble, so he suddenly stopped trying to pick me up.

"Sorry," he said. 'What?'

And then he shoved me into a ditch. It hurt.
I was still face down, but I felt him throwing leaves and bushes on top of me, covering me up. I wanted to say that it wouldn't work, but I didn't want to be heard. He stood up, and I heard him frantically running away.

"Yield!" someone yelled. "Halt, in the name of the Princesses!" But there was no way he'd stop running.

The guards - two of them, it sounded like - assessed the situation. "I shall take these ponies away. I charge thee with restraining the assailant!"

"Nay, I shan't! See that cloak, how it doth billow with such menace? Can you not tell? 'Tis evil, some vile monster that I fear may gore me should I fight it alone. More guards art needed, should we attempt to restrain it."

"Art thou a coward? I see thy point, but thou art a Royal Guard! Thine duty is to apprehend the villainous for the good of Equestria! Thou art under an oath to Celestia to let no evil thrive! Now go, I have this stallion and the unfortunate youth."

The other guard muttered a complaint as the first ran off, presumably with Lemon and Guilty.
"I haven't the nerve of a true guard..." he uttered, slowly approaching the direction my brother ran off in.

Zero's POV -

*Huff, huff, huff...* I felt bad for ditching my brother like that, especially in a ditch, but it was the best I could do. He weighed tons, and the cavalry would have been on us if I tried anything else. I didn't know who was coming, but I could imagine they were more ponies. Ponies or not, though, I didn't want to get in to it with the local law.
Also, I covered Dave up pretty well. I'm certain he won't get spotted, and they'd be too busy dealing with the injured and dead to poke around the bushes.
These and other reassuring things I kept telling myself, as I glanced behind me. The way was completely clear of any ponies, and I ducked behind a tree to catch my breath.

'So... wow,' I thought to myself. 'Mindfucking the convention guys was a lot of fun. Yeah, and it was pretty hard to believe at first. But I got used to it.' I thought about that for a bit, and nodded in acceptance. 'Okay, and now. I'm on the run from pony police. My brother just killed a kid. And he tried to kill his dad. That...' I sighed. 'I guess everything is getting unbelievable today.'

Soft hoofbeats came from up the path. 'A cop,' I thought. 'I think it is, anyway... what the hell am I supposed to expect here?...' I waited a long while, until the trotting was about ten feet away. 'Let's find out, I guess. I hope my Geass works like at the Con.'

With a flourish of my cape, I stepped out into plain view. I had long gotten used to the purple tint of my see-through visor, so I could clearly see what I was looking at.
Sure enough, it was another pony. This one was starch white, with golden armor and a short spear. It also had wings, so I guess that made it a Pegasus, right? I didn't know we'd be throwing myth into this now, but hell, it's not like I don't expect for things to get even weirder. Just like Dave said, innuendo and everything. Let it happen.

"Halt," I demanded. The guard tensed up and backed up hastily, scared out of his wits. 'What's wrong with him?' "I, Zero, command you..." I did whatever the hell I did to pop open part of the visor, exposing my Geass. I looked him directly in the eye, thinking hard on how I could ensure he could go away now, yet keep my advantage for later in case I need it. "... to run back home whenever you hear my voice." Yeah, that could work. He tensed, slowly backing away, and I was afraid it may not have worked. I shut my visor and said: "Beat it."
Yep, it worked. He dashed off like his tail was on fire.
And then I thought, maybe, I could deal with the rest of them - however many there were. So I went back to the clearing.
It didn't take long, which was kinda embarrassing. I was never very fast at running. I was glad, however, to see that the area was empty, and Dave was still beneath the bushes. And it had only been, like, five minutes.

"You good, Dave?"

"Yeah. I'm good." He pushed himself up. I'm still amazed at how he moves with all of that armor on.
Standing up straight, he's actually pretty menacing. His sword radiates a light blue color, his armor seems to emit an aura of frost, and although I couldn't see his eyes, it's hard to miss the piercing blue light they shone. I didn't mention that to him, since there was enough going on already.
He stared out into the distance, which seems to be a thing now. I think he's hearing voices in his head again - that's something I didn't believe about him. I thought he may be a little bit crazy, and after Death Coiling a pony child... well, I thought he was a lot crazy.
And then he began mumbling to himself.

"I don't want to. ... No, I should not. ... And what would be in there? ... That sounds good. Better source of answers than you are."
He turned to me, and I pretended to not have been staring at him.
"Alright, we're still going to the castle. The voice says there's a library in there, and maybe we get get a map and some books, to see where we are and where we can go."

'Yeah, the voices told you so. I'm totally down with that.'
"Sounds good," I lied. "We'll just peacefully get in, get what we need, and leave. I think I can get the guards to leave us alone, at least." I opened my visor for emphasis, revealing my eye. "It still works here, by the way."

He nodded. "I wondered what that running was about. Off we go, then," he said. We marched off, to the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had only been a few short years since Celestia and Luna had been crowned Princesses. As soon as Discord had been defeated and the lack of any ruler noted, their little ponies had basically shoved the crown onto their heads.

Of course, they also basically forced all of their responsibilities onto the sisters as well.

Celestia couldn't complain, though. It bothered her a bit that all of their worldly issues were her - and her sister's, of course - problem now, but the ponies need leaders. As the alicorn saviors of Equestria, what other choice was there?

Today in particular had been more concerning than usual. The local wildlife were noted as being more aggressive than they used to be, and a few farming ponies had even been injured. They were having a hard time growing food anyways, as something had been slowing growth of their apple trees for months now, and now seemed to have stopped growing at all. The investigation started as soon as it was reported, with no progress, and the ponies began talking of moving to a more fertile place. Princess Luna supported the idea, for establishing a new town would help the population issues. This castle wasn't really built for many more than the Princesses and their servants, after all.

The Royal Courtroom had nopony else to see after that, giving the sisters much time to worry about the future of their kingdom.

"Luna, hath thou heard news from Canterlot?"

"Nay, sister. We do hope 'twas from our architect, to tell us that it is fixed." Canterlot, home to the unicorns as soon as Equestria was founded, had been one of many places affected by Discord's reign. Repairs had been required, as was in every other major city, but the damage was more than significant. It hadn't been as easy to rebuild as Cloudsdale, either. However, some changes would be made to make it a more inviting place than ever before - including...

"Canterlot is not ready yet. We have heard that there shall be a dramatic new change, if we doth approve. Our architect would ask our opinion on having a castle built there."

Luna grinned, but the door to the throne room was opened before she could make a response.
A stallion in that so-familiar yellow armor entered the room. "Urgent report from the Royal Guard."

"We shall hear it," Celestia loudly declared. As the stallion turned to beckon in another guard, Luna nodded her head furiously in approval towards Celestia. They shared a smile.

The other guard began his report. "My partner and I were on patrol on the back of the garden when we heard screams and shouting. We reacted with all haste. The scene we happened upon was that of two ponies - one dead child and one dying father - and a fleeing unidentifiable creature." Needless to say, the Princesses were no longer smiling. "I decided to help take the stallion and corpse away whilst sending my partner to capture the assumed assailant. With some hesitance, he agreed. However, upon reaching the castle, I was nearly trampled as he ran past with a haste I have never seen from him before. He seemed to be heading towards Cloudsdale, his former place of residence, though it is my doubt that he intend to travel the full distance there."

The Princesses thought about the situation for a moment. They were doing well to hide their sorrow over the murdered child. "Continue," Luna said, her voice echoing through the room.

"The child was just now sent to the morgue to determine his cause of death. The stallion was taken to the hospital, and his injuries are not immediately apparent. His back legs no longer work, but there are no scratches or bruises or bites. The doctor claims that the attack may have been magical. Which brings me to describe the assailant." He paused for a moment to ensure he remembered everything correctly.
"The creature seemed to stand on two legs. It was over twice our height and wore purple clothing, notably a large purple cloak with a collar that blocked my view of the head. It could not have been a minotaur, for the legs were long and bent forward. I am afraid I do not have any more accurate information, for I only saw from the back. My view was much obscured by the aforementioned cloak."

"We cannot allow a possible murderer run loose," Luna announced. "We declare for a small platoon of guards to search for it. It shall be taken to the dungeon." Celestia added, "From there, we shall decide what is to be done. We also require more details from our living victim, so we might know what else we might expect. Thou art dismissed."

The door was already open, and a third guard bumped into the second as he entered. "If I might say, your Highness's, a search is unnecessary. The creature of description hath made entry to the castle, along with another of sinister appearance."

Zero's POV -

The entire thing felt like a dream. I occasionally pinched myself, or pointed impossibilities out to myself (which basically encompassed everything), but I never did wake up or even lucidity. I decided to accept it when I unsuccessfully willed myself to fly.
Dave, on the other hand, didn't even question it. We walked in to the castle as I gave out orders to all the guards - the same order every time, "You cannot see us." - and Dave just sort of kept going.

The entrance was an enormous hall lined with pillars. Several doors led out, and there was a large staircase at the end. There were around eight guards in there, and a couple of funny-looking maid ponies. Dave didn't even help me as I grabbed each guard one at a time, forced eye contact, and gave my command. He just stood still in the middle of the room for a few seconds before walking right up the stairs. By the time I had the last guard controlled (I ignored the maids), he was out of sight down a hallway upstairs and to the left. I ran over to reach him.

There were guards clutching his legs and arms, shouting for him to stop and come with them instead. He didn't care at all. He pretended not to notice them, and he wasn't slowed that much by them. I once again grabbed each guard and gave my command, and once more, he just walked forward. It was starting to piss me off.

Well, a minute later, we reached a door at one end of a branching hallway. The guards all around us were panicking because they knew we were here but they couldn't see us. They did their best to listen to our footsteps, but their own shouts and running about masked our sounds. In short, they were pretty terrible guards. Anyhow, Dave threw open the door, letting every guard looking for us know where we were headed, and I quickly ran in behind him and held it shut. An army of four-legged guards versus someone as physically unfit as I was had only one conclusion. My frustration reaching undiagnosable levels, I called out, "Would you PLEASE do SOMETHING!?"

Dave looked at me, at the door, and back at the enormous library we were in.

"You've got this," he stated. I was not amused.

The door burst open and I jumped to the right to avoid getting stomped to death. All of the guards looked around, searching for us. Dave scanned the shelves and searched the area. I saw him find a section that he liked. I let him do his thing, but I was about one step away from commanding him to jump out of the window. A new wave of guards came in from down the hallway. "In here, in here!" the present ones shouted, and some ten-to-fifteen guards stormed into the room. I couldn't get them one at a time anymore, and I was knocking my head back and forth for a solution... and I got one.

With a wide sweep of my cape, I closed my visor and ran into the middle of the room. I stood on a table, flourishing again to look down upon the newcomers. Appearance was everything, and I absolutely had to get their attention. I took a deep breath, and hoped I didn't screw up.

"You!" I shouted. "You are all puny, powerless beings. Individually, you are all insignificant. As a whole... still utterly worthless." I fished around in my head, wondering what I could say next to keep their attention. It was an empire, wasn't it? And I knew they had princesses. I got an idea of what to say next, so I quickly spat out, "You must understand what power is - the only true power, the power of the heart. The desire to change inspires strength through determination, and change is my only desire!" I pulled that right out of my ass. I threw my cape behind me dramatically, and was very glad to see that all of the guards who could see me were looking right at me. My visor opened on one side, revealing my Geass. "I am Zero, and I command you all to remove the princesses from the throne, now!"
The power of my mind control took every one of them, except for the ones who thought I was invisible. Not only because they couldn't see me, mind you, but because there is a rule that prevents giving more than one command to any single person. Being a fan of Code Geass, of course I knew that.
At any rate, it turned out better than I expected. Every guard that could had looked into my eye, and they all hastily left the room, leaving just the ones who couldn't see us behind. They lunged at the table I stood on, and I leaped off and backed up. I bumped into my brother, nearly making him drop the stack of books he decided on. Wordlessly, he took my shoulder and began walking out with me in tow. As we moved slowly and quietly, none of them noticed us leave as they tore the room apart.

Celestia's POV -

I... didn't really know what to think about this.

The mass of guards I had sent to deal with the intruders came storming in my throne room. I was alarmed, and even more so when they went directly to my sister and I and lifted us into the air.
And then, quite gently, they sat us down on the floor.

I didn't really know what to think about this.

It would seem that they didn't either, as they awkwardly shuffled on their hooves and looked towards the ground.
After a long, awkward silence, Luna nearly shouted, "What is the meaning of this?!"
The guards shuffled around, none of them having an answer. Soon, one guard was shoved to the front by his companions. Attention on him, he had no choice but to answer.
"I'm not sure, your Highness. My memory is quite hazy. One minute, we were with the intruders, but now, I know not what to make of this scene."

"'Tis the same for me as well," spoke another guard. All of them murmured agreement.

"'Twas quite rude! We demand a detailed explanation," Luna calmly shouted as she got back onto her throne. She was always louder than I. "What exactly transpired?"

"We encountered them in the library, where the one in armor gathered books." That action confused me.
"Books?" I wondered. "What books was it interested in?"

"History, I believe, and geography. 'Twould suggest that they are strangers."

"Indeed," mused Luna. "And the other one?"

"It stood upon a table, and... hmm..." The guard scratched his head, but another had his back.

"It made a speech, I believe. It said it's name was Zero. And it spoke of... Hmm. Significance, I think."

None of the guards had any memory of what happened afterwards.
"We have yet to see them," I said, "and we are quite curious. Since thou hath trouble detaining them, we wish for you to escort us to them instead."

Another guard came in. It was beginning to get quite crowded. "The one called Zero made it so that most of us cannot see him. However, the staff reports that they have left the castle."

"Then we shall follow. Guards, let us find them." They all saluted their solar diarch, and lead her off to search for the intruders.

Chapter Zero (Pun Intended)

I have made a long journey. My goal is as simple as it gets. My reasons, however... even I don't fully understand.

In truth, that has never been in question. What is, simply... is.

I am the Lich King. What more is there to say?

Me and my younger brother decided to go to ComicCon this year. I was a huge Warcraft fan, and he was a straight-up anime nerd, and we both decided to go in costume. He was Lecrotch the British Prince of the Vatican or something wierd like that, and said just to call him Zero. But me? I was the goddamn Lich King.

So there I was, sitting in my room, using my 3D printer and scraps of clothes I had just torn apart to put together my badass armor. It wasn't easy, and it looked as ragged as you could imagine it would, but it kinda worked. It looked spot on to be sure, with skulls all over the place, one pauldron spiked and the other not, and the colors all just right. I had an ashen cape to cover all the flaws with the back, and it was one of the only things that looked awesome. You couldn't even tell that it used to be a bathrobe. But it still looked a bit, well, crappy.

I printed out Frostmourne afterwards, almost an exact replica. It was kinda wobbly though, and it didn't match the costume at all 'cause I colored it too brightly. It was better than nothing, though - can't be the Lich King without the Frostmourne. As soon as that was done, my door opened wide.

“Really, Dave? You used your 3D printer? I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you'd go that low,” Frank, my brother said as he walked into the room. He had a tailor make his costume. It looked pretty good - a purple suit with jagged yellow lines all about. He was wearing this huge black cape with a red inside and gold trim, and the collar of it extended to above his head. Covering his entire head - completely - was a black helmet that basically shouted "I'm an evil overlord." All told, he looked like royalty. I most certainly did not.

“Hey, what works, works. Plus, I'll actually have money left for the Con.” I lifted my plastic sword up at him. "What the heck does your guy do, anyway? Headbutt enemies to death?"

“No, he does this,” He replied as a little slot of his helmet opened. His left eye had a red contact lens with a peculiar symbol around his pupil. “The power of Geass, the ability to make someone to do whatever you command them to do.” He pridefully added, "This lens was not easy to get."

“Dang, you went all the way with your costume.” I felt really inferior now. But hey, at least my character was cooler. "But my power's better. Can't really top an undead legion, can you?"

“Zero led a rebel group called the Black Knights, and they had giant mechs called Knightmares, and fought against an empire that owned one third of the world. So who’d win, a bunch of zombies or a bunch of giant mechs?” He had me there.

Anyways, a couple hours of pointless nerding later, we arrived at the Con for even more hours of pointless nerding. It was a lot of fun, but I think I'll spare the details. There is only one important thing that was relevant to now. And that one thing is the sword.

There was a Warcraft booth that sold figurines and costume items and posters. Among the items sold there was a Frostmourne sword, and it was way better than the one I had - for one thing, it was an actual sword. Another, it was actually softly, almost imperceptibly glowing light blue. And, well, I had to have it. The vendor seemed conflicted about selling it, but my wallet was particularly heavy, so we came to an expensive agreement. I didn't much care about the price of it, I just needed that amazing sword.

When I put my hands on it, I immediately noticed that it was freezing cold. It was a bit heavy for being as small as it was, but still kinda light. The blade had ice blue runes along the middle of it that glowed in an unnatural way. I got really curious about the sword, and was about to ask the merchant why it was so strange, when Frank came back from wherever he had run off to.

"Dave, something's up," he said from under his helmet.

"What is it?" I couldn't see his face, and I couldn't tell if he sounded worried or giddy.

"Well, everyone's acting wierd. Like, really wierd."
I raised a brow, which wasn't clearly seen because of my own helmet, and said, "How so?"

"Okay, whenever I talk to someone with my helmet off, they do exactly what I say. At first, I thought they were messing with me because of the Geass thing, but then I asked a guy to punch a stranger in the gut, and he did, and they got in a fight and were kicked out. And then I told someone to give me his wallet and jump out of a second story window, and he did! He was okay, and I gave the wallet back to him, but he actually did that. And finally, just to make sure, half an hour ago I told some chick that if she drank any Mountain Dew, she'd fall unconcious for an hour. She bought one a little bit after that and took a sip, and, well," he pointed over his shoulder at a chair behind one of the booths, where someone was snoring loudly with Mountain Dew all over her and on the floor. She didn't seem to be pretending.

If you're quick, you can take her somewhere quiet and kill her.
...
'What the fuck,' I thought, in response to the voice in my head that had made its opinions known.
Just saying.

... 'What.'

"I just wanted to see if it worked. You don't have to stare at me like that, I wasn't gonna do anything." Huh? Oh, right, Frank.

"Oh, yeah, I know. That really is strange. Maybe you should keep the mask on, just in case - besides, nobody wants to see your ugly face."

Well, the rest of the day was not a normal one. We stuck together, and every once in a while Frank would open his visor and give a random person a random order - mostly it was taking pictures, but he threw in a few strange ones. He really wasn't kidding when he said they'd do anything, and it was an incredible sight to behold. From spontaneous circus acts to incredibly elaborate pranks, everything seemed to go exactly as he'd order it to. And we also got to talk about my brand new Frostmourne, and how it may also be a source of strangeness. After all, no normal sword radiates frost enough to flash-freeze a soda can. Which, by the way, actually happened.
"Yeah, there's another thing, too," I said to Frank as we watched some dude stack a wall of cards and hide in his little fort.
Why haven't you gotten someone to kill themselves yet?

"I've been hearing a voice in my head that's been trying to get me to kill people. And no, I'm not just screwing around. I actually am hearing that." The whole day, that voice hasn't stopped insisting on random homocide. I don't even know where it came from or why it wants this so badly, but that didn't change the facts.

"How long has that been going on?" he asked.

"Ever since you told me what was happening with your mind control. Actually, that was right after I bought this thing," I said as I showed him the sword.

"Hmm," Frank hmm'd. "Have you tried asking it what it is?"

That one, I hadn't actually expected. I really don't know why I don't think of such things.

"No, I haven't. Gimme a second."
'Hey, voice of murderous intentions? You there?' I thought, hoping the voice could hear me.

Yes, I'm here.

'So... what are you?'

I'm your new voice of reason, Dave.

"That's... it just said it's my new voice of reason." Frank chuckled pretty hard at that, and between gasps, said to ask where it came from.

I am currently residing within Frostmourne. As for where I'm from, well... Hmm... You could do it. Yes, how about you see for yourself?

'And how would I go about doing that?' I thought to it.

And then, a rush of detail came into my head. Words in a language I couldn't comprehend came into my head, thoughts and images I couldn't make sense of flooded in, and after a few seconds, I knew I gained knowledge of something, but I had no idea what any of it was or where to start deciphering it.

There you go, my most prized sorcery. Don't bother understanding it. Just focus on it, and say 'dimension rip.'
"I bet I'm going crazy. Frank, it's asking me to cast a spell. Should I do it?"

Frank, who had ordered a group of teenagers to do a breakdance battle against eachother, felt like he could believe anything now. Why not believe his older brother? "Go for it, then. As long as it isn't Death Coil."

"Hah, I don't think it is. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna look like an idiot." A breakdancer clumsily pushed himself in a circle on his head, barely lifting his knees off the ground. "But not more of an idiot than him. Alright, here goes."

I closed my eyes, and thought hard on the strangeness that got into my mind. It came forth almost on it's own, and I grabbed Frank's arm as an afterthought.

"Dimension rip," I barely muttered. It was enough.

With a glow from Frostmourne and a flash from our own bodies, we straight-up disappeared. Gone, just like that. Onlookers came in hordes and breakdancers conceeded a draw to wonder just where the hell those two cosplayers went.

Well, you guys know where we went.
Equestria.

Author's Note

So, honest opinions?