Should Have Seen it Coming
“Celestia dammit, Dash,” AppleJack yelled as they ran through the streets of Ponyville, their friends and family behind them. All of them licking their lips and salivating. “This is all your fault.”
“How exactly is this all my fault?” She said as they turned a corner only to be met by more of the brainwashed Ponyvillians.
“Y’just had to go and mess around with all of Zecora’s fancy potions. Y’know, the ones she told us specifically not to touch while she was gone.” AppleJack was panting, the two of them may be some of the most physically fit ponies in Ponyville, but they’d been running for how long, an hour.
“Well excuse me, little Mrs. Golden apple, but I’m not exactly the only one who was getting fancy with the potions. We’d be out of here by now if you hadn’t dumped one onto my wings.
AppleJack hated to admit it, but Rainbow was right. They’d gone to Zecora in order to get help with one of her apple trees. Normally the Apple family would figure something out themselves, but Pinkie had done . . . something. Either way it was dying. Rainbow had tagged along, because it also happened to be her favorite napping tree. Something AppleJack repeatedly yelled at her about.
They’d explained the situation to Zecora and she’d stared to brew something in a huge black pot. Just as it started to bubble she realized she was missing a key ingredient and would have to go searching for it. “While I look for more poisonous joke, I ask not to prod or poke,” She’d said.
With that the two ponies had been left by themselves . . . all alone. . . in a hut filled with strange and magical concoctions. Honestly, most ponies would have broken a lot sooner, but these two stubborn ponies managed to last a full two minutes before they started uncorking and sniffing bottles.
It was while AppleJack was sniffing one of these potions that she got an idea in her head. Honestly, it wasn’t one of her smartest ideas, but not exactly one of her dumbest either (That belonged to the faithful reunion we’re she’d snuck into the extra hard cider). The potion was labeled “Temporary Paralysis.” AppleJack decided it was about time she got back at Rainbow Dash for always sleeping in her trees. So with a wicked grin she “spilled” some of the potion on Rainbow’s wings.
Rainbow wasn’t too happy, when she couldn’t open her wings, and had tackled AppleJack, knocking her into a nearby wall. They’d started wrestling and rolling around the hut trying to pin the other one down. Knocking bottles and elixirs off of the shelf and creating a huge chemical cloud.
“When I left I had my fears, but what the buck is going on here.” The two looked up as, for the first time noticing the destruction they’d cause within the zebra’s house. Blushing, the two stood up and tried to explain, but Zecora just held up her hoof. “I know that it is not nutritious, but you two look awfully delicious.
“Uh, what,” said Rainbow, right before Zecora pounced at them.
So after promptly bucking Zecora in the face (something she’d apologize for later) AppleJack and Rainbow Dash had headed back into town, hoping that Twilight could reverse, whatever the heck they’d done to themselves.
As they made their way through town, the pair couldn’t help but notice that all eyes were on them. “Uh, RD, maybe we should hurry it up a bit.”
“Y-yeah I think you’re right.” The two ponies hurried their pace, as a growing crowd of ponies started to trail behind them.
“Okay, AppleJack, when I say run, we make a break for it.” AppleJack nodded.
“What’s the hurry, Sis?” The two jumped, but settled down when they saw who it was. It was just the Cutie Mark Crusaders, looking up at them with wide eyes,
“Dang it Applebloom, don’t scare us like that.”
The young crusader hung her head, “Sorry.” She immediately perked up when she took whiff of her sister, ‘Hey sis are you doing something different with your mane.”
“Huh”
“Don’t they look different guys.”
Well I wasn’t gonna say anything, but Rainbow Dash does look especially . . . succulent today,” said Scootaloo licking her lips while she eyed her idol up and down.
“I was thinking more along the lines of delectable,” said Sweetie Belle, a small trail of droll forming on her chin. The adult ponies backed up, as the crusader’s started to encircle them. Applejack yelped, as her sister attempted to nip at her heels.
“AJ?”
“Yeah?”
“Run!” And just like that they made a break for it, dashing and ducking through the streets of Ponyville, with the crusaders hot on their heels.
“Wait a minute,” said Apple Jack, as she came skidding to a halt in Ponyville’s Town square. “Rainbow, why exactly are we running from a bunch of fillies.”
“That . . . is a very good question.” She said taking a seat. “I guess this is kind of silly. I mean we were running from Sweetie Belle of all people.” She chuckled. “Even if they do want to eat us, what could they do to us.”
“Get their cutie marks in cannibalism.” At that the pair broke out in laughter. Until they noticed the large mob of ponies, all of which had hungry looks in their eyes, rushing toward them
AppleJack straightened up, “Heh, I completely forgot about those guys.”
“Me too.”
“Run?”
“Let’s,” The two made a break for it, dodging the attempts from ponies to cling onto their tails, all the while pegasus were swooping down like vultures, trying to grab onto them. Whatever was happening to them, it left them thinking clearly, but not enough for unicorns to use magic so they didn’t have to worry about that. Their only real problem was that they didn’t have anywhere to go. Twilight’s library was in the opposite direction, and the mob had blocked them off.
“You know this would be a lot easier if I could fly?” Ducking an attempt from Derpy to grab onto her mane.” Instead the grey Pegasus ended up crashing through a window of Sugar cube corner.
“And where exactly would that lave me, huh?” AppleJack asked as they turned onto another street. “Oh, that’s right, TO BE BAKED ALIVE BY OUR FRIENDS.”
Rainbow gasped, “AppleJack, I can’t believe you would think that. There is no way our friends would bake us. I’m thinking spit roast.”
“Pbbt, please, they’d much rather barbecue us.
“No way, they’re gonna sauté us.”
“Who are you Rarity, I say they’ll make us into a nice stew.”
“Uh, uh, they’ll fry us.
“Bake.”
“Fry.”
“Bake”
“Actually, we were just gonna eat you raw,” shouted a pony from the mob
That brought the argument to an end, but not before Rainbow chuckled and said, “Well if Pinkie and that pan have anything to say about it, we’ll be turned into cupcakes.”
As they turned another corner a lone pony jumped out at them, a savage war cry on their lips. AppleJack on instinct delivered a swift buck to their face causing them to land in some nearby garbage. “Was that Fluttershy?” She asked, as they kept running
“Yep,” Rainbow answered.
The two shared a quick look, “Apologize later,” they said while they squeezed through a nearby alley.
Rainbow took a look around. The horde was slowly, but surely gaining on them. “Hey AppleJack, I’m not sure we’re both gonna make it out of this one. Even if we did get to Twi, she’d just end up like the rest of them.”
“RD, you are not abandoning, me to get eaten.”
“WHAT,” screeched Rainbow, “Why would you even think I would try something like that?”
“You just said that ‘both’ of us can’t make it out of this.”
“Yeah, I meant that one of us is going to give out first.”
“So you’re saying that you wouldn’t use me as a distraction to avoid getting eaten.
“AppleJack, I’m the Element of Loyalty for crying out loud.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’m not.”
“Wait what? And just like that AppleJack held one of her hooves in front of Rainbow Dash, causing her to hit the ground face first. She watched AppleJack ran off without her. “Apple Jack,” she cried, “You motherbucking. . .”
She never got to finish as crazed pinkie landed on her back screaming “I WANNA TASTE THE RAINBOW.”
“AHHHHHH!”
Several hours later . . .
The residents of Ponyville stood in Town square all resting and recuperating from what just happened. “That was quite a show, don’t you think girls?” Said Rarity
“Are you kidding?! Sreamed Pinkie. "It was awesome. With the Princess, and the solar eclipse, and the teenage mutant ninja turtles poster. Boy, I never knew a banjo could do things like that.
“And we can’t forget the TARDIS, can we.” Said Twilight.
“All Ah know is, is that I never wanna have to run like that ever again.” Said AppleJack who'd collapsed onto the ground. Just then a very angry Rainbow Dash appeared. She was missing parts of her fur, and a good chunk of her left ear.” But other than that she was no worse for wear.”
“H-hey RD. Sorry about that whole I’m not the Element of Loyalty thing. But I can “honestly” say I mean every word of this apology.”
Rainbow growled, “Well I can “honestly” say I’m gonna kick your flank until you see apples.” Rainbow made a mad grab for her friend who yelped, jumping away at the last second.
AppleJack started backing up. “Now RD be reasonable, I’m sure we can . . .” she paused when she saw Rainbow floating in the air once more, the paralysis having ended a while ago.
“Oh AppleJack, run,”AppleJack took off down the main street of Ponyville, her Cyan friend not far behind. “Come back here AJ so I can fry your flank.”
