Little Hobbies

by StormDancer

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie
Length: 7518

A misunderstanding by Pinkie Pie leads to Rarity questioning a salad, a number of small changes, and Twilight hiding under her covers.

Minor Nuance is the background pony of a background pony's background pony.
Nopony ever sees him. Nopony ever hears him. Nopony ever even acknowledges his existence... except Pinkie Pie. So, when an interview for a new job doesn't happen, it's no big surprise. Yet, with everypony in town going on with their lives, Nuance can't help but feel a little left out and lonely.
Good thing Pinkie Pie is there to help set things right! Especially when Rarity notices the pony with such a poor sense of self worth.
Oh, and there's a pie.

Published 2014-02-24 04:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-24 04:20:09 UTC

Subtle

Author's Note

MLP FiM is a marvelous little romp into the land of happy, fanciful ponies.
And like all things fanciful, there are little blips and oopsies that liter the imagination. Nuance is my explanation for such things. I sincerely hope you all get at least a small chuckle from this little exercise in the absurd.
Enjoy.

... There are no typos in this note. I swear there was an invisible unicorn.

Subtle

"My name is Nuance, well, actually it's Minor Nuance, but I don't like my first name because then everypony thinks I'm small. Well, I'm small too I guess, just being a colt and all, but when I grow up I don't want other ponies to just remember me being that Minor.... you know how it goes. Once you get a nickname around here, it never, and I mean NEVER, goes away. Just ask the mail-mare.... I try really hard, but I actually don't know which one is her name and which one is her nickname. So anyways, like I was saying, I'm Nuance, if you don't mind, and I'm applying for my first job!"

The young stallion smiled hopefully at the pale gray pony who smiled back at him from only a few steps away. He blinked, starting to sweat under the unnerving smile that was starting to bleed into the actual smile on the other pony, who was close.... Nuance suddenly realized.... entirely too close.

Sighing, Nuance looked down, the action followed by the other pony instantly. Sighing, Nuance stepped away from his mirror and trotted across the room to his dresser and pulled out a worn pair of saddlebags, also pale gray, with a set of mismatched buttons he used to hold the old flaps shut. Levitating them across his back, he turned to bump and slide them until his flanks were hidden under the nondescript gray. Chuckling, the first real hint of happiness he'd felt all day slipped into his mood as he started collecting the odds and ends he had picked up around town. A few sheets of parchment, a newspaper, the doorknob was new, a candle, some door hinges, a folded up window (still wasn't quite sure HOW that worked), the heart shaped top of a fence post, and even a strange triangular piece of cobblestone which would float away if he hadn't tied it down.

Securing his latest batch of things, he smiled again as he pulled the straps tight under him before checking the matching buttons on his saddlebags... both a nondescript pastel gray. Yep, they definitely fit him: gray on gray on gray.... nothing special to see here folks. With a shake of his head, he looked up across the room to see the nondescript gray unicorn staring back at him from his mirror, and with a bit of effort, even that unicorn slowly took on a guarded smile. Perfect! Now nopony would see how nervous he was at his interview.

Assuming, of course, that they had remembered to put him in the itinerary this time.

Shaking the depressing notion from his head, Nuance put on his most winning smile (somehow only approaching the average expression of practically every resident of Ponyville) and strode through his front door. In retrospect, he should probably have strode confidently through his doorway, but he assured himself that he was a chooser, not a beggar. Not after today... he was scheduled for his interview at the dye factory and he just knew they wouldn't be able to turn him down. As the door swung shut, a faint gray flash appeared on both sides of the door frame.

Trotting down the street, Nuance smiled whenever he recognized anypony in particular. Over there was Rose Luck of course, stepping through her garden like she did every morning. And over there, near the fountain, was Bon Bon, out for her morning stroll with that ventriloquism book sticking out of her candy-marked saddlebags.

Oh! And there she was, watching the world through rose tinted glasses that made everything wonderful and sweet and wow.......... her mane was really nice today. Gently falling down her neck and pooling across her back in just the right way to frame her perfect little face and set off her..... FOCUS. Interview.

Right, with a sigh, he shook his head to clear it and noticed a balloon that most certainly didn't belong behind one of the houses. Pinkie Pie would be furious if she found out.... or was that curious? Either way, with a gentle tug and the accompanying gray flash, the balloon was safely taken care of and he could be on his way. With a nod of satisfaction, he glanced at the nearby clock and picked up his pace. Places to be and all that.

How could the day get any better? The sun was out, the clouds were puffy, and the wagon was careening across the market place completely unguided. Yep, time to get to work. A quick trot and a pale gray flash and it was all fixed, though the wagon driver looked a little confused as he glanced around the market. Oh well, that happened sometimes he supposed. Oh! And THERE'S where that fence was. A faint gray flash and he was on his way again, just before Rainbow Dash took off from where she had been perched atop the fence post.

Passing by the library, Nuance smiled. This was one of his favorite places in the entire town. Their new resident actually LIVED there. Well, new-ish. She had technically moved in almost three years ago, but that was still pretty new for Ponyville. And what was even better was that she seemed to pick up on positively everything. He'd seen her rush out of the library quite a few times already, and from what he understood, she had actually defeated Nightmare Moon. Not that he'd ACTUALLY seen her do it, yheah, he'd followed her and her friends, but he had been busy wedging the sixth arm of the odd statue into his bags at the time... only to discover that it really didn't fit and having to spend the next few minutes repairing the damage. Of course, the light show and noise got his attention and he'd fled, but not before flipping the windows around and moving a few things here and there in his haste.

Either way, it was strictly curiosity that had made him start to follow the town librarian around. Absolutely, strictly, ONLY curiosity.... and that shapely .... INTERVIEW!

Shaking his head again, Nuance glanced back at the library for a moment before trotting off, a pale gray flicker on the door the only evidence of his passing.

Sugarcube Corner. Simply awesome. He loved it. Loved every single inch of that building. SO much to look at, so many little things to smell and taste and even hear. Everything from the counter to the kitchen was a palatable buffet of glorious, gluttonous, delicious. He would never admit it, but this single building was probably the reason that he had been 'encouraged' to join in the running of the leaves by Pinkie Pie. She was another sweetie, always so friendly and happy, bouncing in everything she did in all the right pla....INTERVIEW.

Blinking back the thoughts of his giggling friend, Nuance trotted past the confectionery and down the road towards the joke shop. A faint gray flash left his coin purse lighter but the counter's collection of cupcakes coincidentally one short. Well.... two short.... one short. Whatever.

Breakfast obtained, Nuance smiled as he congratulated himself on keeping on track. He loved Sugarcube Corner and its resident party pony about as much as he could think, but no amount of joy obtained there would offset the bills at the end of the month if he couldn't get hired... and it had taken quite a few calls to get the interview in the first place. Apparently in a town as brightly colored and cheerful as Ponyville, to keep profit margins high, the dye factory didn't often hire new ponies in. Funny thing that, seeing as how there was a captive populace whose daily lives centered around an almost absurd degree of cheerful and happy activities while lavishly careening from one pastel object to the next in a never ending cycle of .... oh...right. Everything was pastel. Everypony was pastel. NOTHING could not be pastel. Fine... economics made sense after all. They knew their market and they knew the demand, adding extra help where they didn't need it not only could, but would, cut into their profits without reason.

Blinking back the realization, Nuance swallowed, hoping that his 'interview' was something more than just a polite manner of turning him down.

Glancing back towards the Town Hall, Nuance smiled as the six flags fluttered in the breeze.

Either way, on such a nice day like today, he wasn't going to let the possibility of his interview failing get him down.

Nope.

The dye factory had a sign on the door which said "Position filled. Please try again" with a little apologetic smiley face being held up by a little crayon Rainbow Dash.

Nuance blinked at the door for a moment more before turning around and starting the suddenly long walk home. It wasn't really that much of a surprise if he thought about it. The company needed the help it needed and it knew what the townsfolk wanted. Anything else and there would be a surplus somewhere. Unsold merchandise meant un-capitalized gains. He could understand why they wouldn't want to pay somepony the bits to work when that work wasn't going to turn a profit.

Flicking his ears back for a moment, he turned his head to glance at the bright green bush next to the door and smiled.

"Come on out Pinkie, I know you're there."

He waited a moment before opening the flap on his right saddlebag and chuckling. Pinkie Pie had just lit the fuse on her confetti bomb and was turning to jump out only to gasp in surprise as she saw him looking down at her.

"Um.... I'm in that bush over there... give me a moment!" she squeaked before grabbing the flap and tugging it closed.

He chuckled before calling out theatrically, "I know you're in that bush Pinkie Pie! Come on out!"

Suddenly Pinkie Pie jumped out of the bush with a shout of "SURPRISE!" complete with an explosion of confetti and streamers which covered the area in bright colors.

The pale flicker of gray went completely unnoticed as Pinkie darted up to him and wrapped him in a rib-cracking hug.

"Hey Pinkie, how's the day been?"

Pinkie gave a dramatic inhale before launching into a gleeful recreation of the days events... which Nuance smiled at but otherwise let wash over him. He really didn't care about the day, he just loved basking in her happiness. Everything she did just screamed joy, and cupcakes, which he suddenly found arcing through the air only to disappear with a brief bulge in her throat. After a few more moments, Pinkie's verbal volley abated leaving the grinning pink pony bouncing on her hooftips.

Nuance chuckled and shook his head briefly. "I don't know how you do it Pinkie. Every time... day in and day out, you just run around and make everypony happy. Every, single, day. How do you do that?" He looked at her cheery face and felt a smile tugging at his lips even as she blinked back at him confused.

"But.... Minor," she prodded his chest slightly with a hoof, "You do the same exact thing!"

Nuance pulled his head back just an inch and regarded her with skepticism. "Uh.... no Pinkie. I'm pretty sure that you're the pony throwing the parties and getting everypony to laugh and hug and all that stuff. I'm.... I'm really nothing at all like you." He finished with a slightly worn smile... after all, it was positively hard to frown around Pinkie Pie.

She studied him for just a moment before giving him a half-lidded smile and leaning in to give him a hug. "Silly Billy, you make a LOT of people smile too. Especially when you pull one over on Twilight or nopony notices at all." She pulled away, leaving Nuance with the fleeting memory of a soft, slightly sticky, warmth....before she eeped and brushed the warm cupcake off his neck. "Sorry about that.....baking."

"Nah. But, I'm pretty sure nopony even knows I exist." He smiled ruefully before rubbing the back of his neck slightly and glancing up at her with an embarrassed smile. "Well, nopony except you."

Pinkie giggled before reaching into his bags and pulling out one of her party hats, which she snapped over his horn with a smile. "That's because you're an inthebackground pony silly. Nopony is supposed to notice you. And the fact that nopony even knows your name means that you're doing a GREAT job!"

Nuance actually frowned for a moment. He'd been working himself up to ask Pinkie Pie out for a while, but hearing her actually say that he was effectively worthless stung in a completely unique way. It hurt more because he liked her. It hurt the most because she was the only pony who ever even acknowledged him. She had been leaving bits in his mailbox for months. She had given him the discount at Sugarcube Corner. She had even dropped off extra flowers she'd 'cleaned up' from a party that had clearly never been used. She had gotten him the interview at the dye factory.

"You know Pinkie, I'm sorry.... um.... never mind. I'm going to head on home. See you later." Nuance turned to leave but found a bright pink hoof holding him back for a moment.

"Minor, you don't understand," said Pinkie in an unusually calm voice. When he turned back to look at her, she was still smiling, but for the first time it looked like a real smile rather than one of her boundlessly energetic ones. Confused and just a bit curious, he paused, his ears flipping in her direction as she pulled her hoof back.

"Everypony loves me, but nopony understands me. Sure, the girls are great and they understand me better than most ponies, but that's mainly because they accept me, not because they understand me. Kind of like you." She smiled that not-quite-as-overly-enthusiastic smile that had made him pause a moment ago. "They can't understand me Minor. And they can't notice you. They cant even see you. You're not even there to them." Pinkie Pie reached out and hugged the gray unicorn who was staring in pained confusion. "But I know you're real and I know you make lots and lots of people excited and laugh and happy every day, even if you can't notice them."

Nuance blinked at Pinkie for a moment before carefully pulling himself out of her hug. "Um.... I'm going to head on home Pinkie. I'll.....I'll see you tomorrow."

Pinkie smiled sadly as she watched Nuance turn to trot off. As he walked, she watched as tiny, pale gray flickers erupted all around him, changing things ever so slightly. She watched as a mailbox popped open and the flags on Town Hall changed color and places. She watched as a building flickered and reappeared, for a second, a few hooves off the ground, only to flicker back into its proper place before anypony noticed. Pinkie Pie smiled again as she watched him pass the library where the icon on the door became a real candle for just a moment and smiled even more as Sugarcube Corner, the Library, and Rarity's Boutique all blinked out of existence as she felt the camera pan in from somewhere south of the town...she knew they'd all be back before anypony would notice....and they were.

Pinkie Pie loved that stallion like Twilight loved Spike... he was the one who cleaned up all their messes and kept things interesting for her. Pinkie Pie's smile crept across her face as she teleported for a split second to blow up a balloon and smile at the other world before popping back into Sugarcube Corner and out to the street for their weekly photo to be sent to the princesses.

And just remembering how fun it had been to see Twilight so confused over her Pinkie Sense.... just thinking about how Twilight would react to Minor Nuance was enough to send her into another fit of giggles. Just then, Pinkie Pie turned as she sensed the girls trotting down the road not too far away, a plan forming in her mind and growing like a balloon on a helium tank.

"Oh Giiiiiirls! Guess who I just ran into!"

The mares jumped as Pinkie pounced out of a rabbit warren next to their hooves, landing astride Applejack before hopping off.

"mmmm... Mayor Mare?" Twilight guessed?

"Nah....what would she be doing out here?" the blue pegasus rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Why? Did Applebloom get inta something again? I told her to leave those tools alo-" Applejack was cut off by a playful tip of her hat by Rainbow Dash. "Couldn't be them, nothing's on fire and there's no screaming."

"was it Elizabeak again?" Fluttershy glanced around, as if worried that her chicken had once more escaped.

Twilight was opening her mouth to say something when Rarity coughed softly and flipped her mane towards Pinkie. "Perhaps, Pinkie, you would be so kind as to tell us, seeing as how we could guess at this all day long?"

Pinkie grinned widely as she hopped onto her hind legs and pulled out a chunk of floating cobblestone. "I ran into Rocky's cousin Floaty McCobblestone! Isn't he neat!"

The girls stared dumbfounded for a moment before Twilight tapped the floating rock with a hoof and muttered "H-how....NO.... No no no. Not going to do this again. It's just Pinkie being Pinkie."

With an even wider grin Pinkie cheered as she stuffed the floating cobblestone behind her, where it vanished in a pale gray flicker. "And you'll NEVER guess who I ran into over at the dye factory! Minor!"

Rainbow Dash and Rarity shared a confused look before Twilight beat them to the question. "What dye factory Pinkie?"

With a grin, Pinkie glanced back up the hill and saw a beautiful afternoon sky with no hint of the factory behind her. "It's where Minor was trying to get a job, but since he's already doing such a great job as it is, they wouldn't even imagine hiring him since then he'd have to quit his other job and that would make people sad. And sad people means sad ponies and sad ponies mean no more parties and no more parties means we'd miss your birthday Applejack!"

There was a moment of confused glances before Fluttershy reached over and hugged Applejack "Happy birthday Applejack!"

Before she could respond, all the girls were hugging and congratulating Applejack before trotting off to get gifts, leaving Applejack to stand with Pinkie watching them run off. "You know it ain't my birthday Pinks."

"Yep!"

"And you know they don't."

"Yepperoonies!"

"And.... wait, why didja just say that then."

"Because I wanted you to meet somepony who I don't think anypony else here can see." Pinkie grinned as she sidestepped before Nuance could move.

For a moment, Applejack just stared, a mix of confusion and curiosity on her face before she slowly turned to Pinkie. "Um....what am I lookin' at Pinkie?"

Pinkie smiled warmly and said "My bestest best best coworker in the whole wide world! Minor!" She gestured animatedly as Nuance cleared his throat with a nervous smile.

"H-hello Applejack. I'm -"

"Well, it's a might pleasure meetin' you there Minor, but seeing as how Pinkie Pie's gone and told the girls its my birthday, I need to go stop them before Twilight realizes I already have a birthday on the calendar and she ends up casting some time spell and gives herself another week's worth of trouble. Pinkie," Applejack nodded and quickly ran to catch up with her friends.

Pinkie Pie watched her go before turning back to Nuance. "I wasn't being mean Minor... they really can't see you."

Nuance blinked a few times as he watched the apple farmer running off towards town. "But...."

Pinkie Pie sidled up next to him and hugged him again. "But I meant every word. You ARE my bestest best best coworker in the whole wide world. That's why I cash your check and bring you the bits every Monday morning after the bank opens. You can't get an account so it comes to me instead."

Nuance stared at her for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head. "That's just silly Pinkie Pie, I exist!"

Pinkie nodded and smiled herself, "Yep! But just because you exist doesn't mean they can see you. It's just like all those silly things that watch us every week! They're real but only a few of us can see them." Pinkie smiled again. "And I know they love you even if they can't see you, because I can see them watching us so closely and looking for all your little pranks like the candle on Twilight's door, stealing my ears when we beat Nightmare Moon, putting wings on Rarity that one time, sneaking that GIANT balloon BEHIND the mountain and all that other fun stuff!"

For a moment Nuance just stared before he broke out laughing. "You mean you ACTUALLY SAW THAT?" He flopped back on his saddlebags as he rolled in laughter, a collection of odd objects falling out in the process.

"Yeppers! And I loved every minute of it. And..." she paused to poke him in the tummy, " I love you too!"

Nuance blinked as his face flushed bright red.

"Just like all my friends!" Pinkie continued, completely oblivious, "Even though I know you were staring at Twilight's cutiemark. But trust me, it won't change at all until at least the end of season three."

Nuance, coughed softly as he tried to regain his composure. "Um....s-season three?"

"Don't worry about it Minor. They can't see you and I can. I can see the little white words near our feet every Saturday and those little black boxes with letters in them, so I know what's going on but.... well, don't worry. You don't have to keep waiting for her cutiemark to change until I try to take over Sweet Apple Acres.... besides, if you keep staring, you might run into something!"

With a deep blush, Nuance nodded and pulled himself up.

"So," he said, "I guess I'll just get back to ....um.... playing around with stuff then?"

Pinkie nodded and smiled as he trotted off, glancing back only once. Hmmm.... he did have a nice cutiemark.... pale gray on pale gray which drew the eye to his....OOOOOOOO....that's what he was staring at.

While Applejack had caught up to them all with little trouble, the situation still seemed strange to Rarity. From what she could tell, Pinkie Pie had just been having one of her strange little moments where she would stare off into a wall or say something nonsensical, but even then Pinkie didn't really even lie. She might joke around about things or even intentionally omit information to keep things a surprise but it didn't seem like Pinkie to outright lie about something like a birthday, or more importantly, an invisible pony.

It was quite the conundrum.

Whatever the case, they had all met up after the little detour to the library to assure Twilight that Applejack's birthday really wasn't for quite some time (Twilight had learned to put quite a bit of faith in Pinkie Pie), and were in the process of eating sandwiches as Rainbow Dash recounted her latest attempt at a "Cannonball Blast" or some such. As far as Rarity could tell, it involved a loop then a plummet of unsafe heights at unsafe speeds, into a lake with a rapid turn and an eruption of water as the pegasus launched herself out, forming a ground level rainbow. At least, that's what she thought Rainbow Dash had said... it was rather difficult to follow her friend sometimes...what with all the gritty little details about flight and... well....falling.

Rarity sniffled as she refocused her attention on the conversation. Rainbow Dash was sitting back proudly as Applejack rapped her firmly on the back with a laugh. Twilight was smiling, but rolling her eyes as she probably thought whatever claim Rainbow had just made was both unlikely and improbable. Fluttershy smiled demurely while she sipped a glass of juice which left.... Pinkie Pie who was cheerfully drawing on a napkin with what looked like crayons.

Rarity chuckled softly to herself before beckoning the waiter over for a glass of water, a mare had to watch her figure after all. She smiled politely as she watched Rainbow Dash wolf down another sandwich, her sixth or seventh if memory served, while Twilight at least tried to maintain some decorum as she carefully brushed the crumbs from her napkin. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie gasped and snapped her head towards Twilight, eliciting startled half-dodges from her friends.

After a moment, Pinkie's shocked expression broke into a smile, then a grin, then an enormous cheshire arc that was just a bit too wide to be comfortable to view. At which point, the pink pony quickly folded up her napkin, reached behind her, and pulled out a tray of cookies....with oven mitts, from somewhere. The look on her face was cheerful again, though she looked, perhaps, just a tiny bit nervous as she eyed Twilight.

"Hey Girls! Guess what I just found out!" She chirped cheerily.

Met with the remnants of the near dives for cover, the five mares looked on without answer.

"I just found out that you can make chocolate chip cookies without actually needing a reason!"

After a moment Applejack started laughing before reaching over to pluck a cookie from the tray. "Consarnit Pinks, I thought you were about to shout 'twitchy tail' again."

Without further delay the friends each took a cookie (or in Dash's case, three) and devolved into happy chatter.

Pinkie waited a few moments before smiling and whispering "and that somepony has a crush on Twilight."

The only one present who heard kept her white muzzle shut as she considered Pinkie's comment behind a convenient amethyst curl of mane. She smiled slowly, imagining how her bookish, somewhat prudish, unicorn friend would handle that particular bit of news when a faint flash of light caught her eye, causing her to look across the cafe towards the street.

Rarity's gaze fell across a stallion who was walking across the market, expertly weaving between ponies as he traveled to his destination. Actually, weaving was perhaps a poor choice of words to describe his motion.... it was more like flowing from one point to another, ponies just stepping out of his way at just the right moment, as if his very presence brought about some deeply hidden desire to give him room. She noticed his coat, a pale, almost shimmering gray like the ash of a long spent composition being used to tint freshly fallen snow, which matched his mane to a degree which would make any artist weep. His eyes were soul-rendingly deep, bottomless black voids where she could imagine starless nights went to dream with silver irises and the most pristinely alabaster whites she had ever seen. His tail was wrapped for the first foot or so, but brushed out to form a curiously composed and dignified look as he slid between ponies as if they were not even there. The whole while, his face held a soft, almost sad, smile that reminded her of a kindly dignitary rather than a strangely unnoticed stallion almost as tall as Big Macintosh, though, she noticed with a slight heating of her cheeks, quite a bit more trim and proper. She could just see the slightest hint of his cutiemark behind a pair of clearly worn saddlebags which matched his coat and mane to such a degree that she only noticed them by the dark purple button holding them closed. Another flicker of light and she noticed the proud horn which gracefully preceded him by more than a foot, thin and tapering with the finest spiral she had ever seen short of Princess Celestia. His horn alone spoke of culture and a refinement that she couldn't hope to find anywhere short of Canterlot's nobility or that of another noble house.

As she watched, he effortlessly strode through the crowd, horn flickering briefly as he clearly cast his spells with unparalleled ease, no doubt from years of flawless practice, though she never quite caught what the Adonis was doing. Rarity felt a warmth spread through her chest as she watched his body move, how muscles and bone stretched and tensed, her eyes sliding down towards his half hidden cutie mark once again. Rarity found herself quietly hoping that his saddlebags would shift just a bit more so she could take in a bit of...

"Rarity." A bright blue object waved in front of her vision, breaking the moment. With a deep blush, Rarity blinked back and looked at Rainbow Dash who was inches from her face, hovering while waving her foreleg to get her attention.

"Rainbow Dash, it is quite impolite to be acting in such a way." Rarity huffed, trying, unsuccessfully to glance around her insufferable friend and catch a fleeting glimpse of the stallion from the market.

"Hey! We were just worried about you. Jeeze, you just kind of " at which point Rainbow stopped talking and affected a frozen, glassy eyed stare, complete with lopsided open mouth, before smirking and continuing. "Zoned out there. Then your face got all red and Twilight asked if you were feeling feverish."

Rarity put a hoof to her mouth and coughed quietly to try to hide her discomfort. "P-perhaps I am feeling a bit under the weather. My chest does feel a bit warm."

"That" Twilight gestured, "would be your tea, which you spilled on yourself when you froze."

Rarity blushed further, but tried to play it off as feeling unwell. "I believe I should take my leave girls. I do have some work to do and I would hate to become ill. Pinkie, could you see me home please?"

While the other girls watched with confusion, Pinkie Pie hopped up and darted around to Rarity's side to offer a helping hoof. After taking only a moment to mop up the spilled tea and leave a small jewel for her bill and tip, Rarity strode off beside Pinkie, leaving the table of bewildered friends to watch in confusion.

"What was all that about?" Twilight asked nopony in particular.

"Beats me, but I never thought I'd see the day when Rarity'd ask for Pinkie Pie to see her home." Applejack said with wide eyes as she scratched her head idly.

"Something's up" was all Rainbow said as she cast a suspicious eye over their surroundings.

"I think she saw somepony she likes." Fluttershy mumbled as she watched them go, a slight flush to her cheeks.

"WHAT?" the friends all gasped, heads snapping towards Fluttershy, eliciting a startled eep as she hopped back and cowered on the ground. The waiter returned a moment later with a glass of water which he placed before scooping up the bill with a smile, oddly, no one noticed the lack of a teacup.

"Sooooooooo....." Rarity started once out of earshot of their friends. "Made any new friends in town recently Pinkie?"

Pinkie, continued trotting along beside Rarity as she considered, holding her elbow, the other hoof raised to her chin as she stuck her tongue out thoughtfully. "Well, I told you about Tightwad and Cinnamon Crunch already, and Amaretto just moved out last week, but that's not the same so......nope. Why do you ask? Did you meet somepony new that I haven't thrown a party for yet?" Pinkie's exclamation brought her back to four hooves from her briefly upright trot and leveled a bulging eyed stare at Rarity.

"Oh, ah... not quite so much as met, per se," Rarity tittered with a slight brushing motion of her hoof, " I just happened to see the most stunning stallion walking through the market the other day and thought you might know his name." The feign was minor and hopefully enough to get some of Pinkie's seemingly boundless knowledge of the population without leading to uncomfortable questions.

Pinkie's momentary quiet was enough to raise Rarity's eyebrow. "Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie, who was trotting along happily looked over with a smile. "mmmm?"

"Do you know the stallion's name?"

"Which stallion?"

"The one from the market that I saw the other day."

"Rarity, there are a lot of stallions in the market....well, not a lot, but more than one, so since you didn't say anything I can't guess which one you might not know."

For a brief moment, Rarity almost groaned in frustration before she realized that it was true.... almost her entire conversation had revolved around thoughts rather than actually saying much of anything. So, with a nervousness that she wasn't entirely comfortable with, she started.

"Well, he was tall, sleek, and proper. A pale gray, nearly white with the highlights to his coat and mane almost making it shine, with a wrapped tail and a delicio...delicately featured cutiemark that I couldn't quite make out under his saddlebags. He had gorgeous eyes and his mane looked like Luna had spun it herself from moonlight and star dust." She smiled at the description.

Turning to look at Pinkie Pie, she found herself walking alone. For a brief moment, she blinked confusedly behind her before turning forward and nearly jumping out of her skin as she came nose to nose with a very serious Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie's mane was flat, though not completely straight, and her eyes were intense, though not angry. Rarity couldn't see her tail, but she was fairly certain it would have lacked its normally cotton candy like appearance as she staggered back a step. "P-Pinkie.... don't scare me like that! What's wrong?"

Pinkie stared for a moment longer, her face nearly unreadable before a little bounce came back to her mane and her eyes softened slightly. "You saw him."

"O-Of course I saw him." Rarity stammered. "I cannot believe it possible to miss a creature of his grace and poise."

"You don't understand," Pinkie's voice was cheerful, though a bit of it seemed forced. "You're not supposed to be able to see him."

"Pinkie, what are you talking about? He was right the-"

"But he's MY special friend! Nopony can see him!" Pinkie nearly cried while watching Rarity.

"P-Pinkie Pie? What do you mean?" Rarity took a tentative step forward before raising a hoof to her friend's shoulder. "Pinkie, what's going on?"

"He's MY special friend, and not like the other Pinkies who take notes and run errands when I'm running out of time. Nopony can see him but me and we do all kinds of fun things together and have parties and he helps me out and I help him out and and and....." Pinkie broke into a teary moment before whispering "and now he doesn't like me anymore."

The tearful moment explained very little to Rarity, but seeing her friend in pain brought her to hold Pinkie tightly as her sobs wet Rarity's shoulder.

"There there Pinkie. Nopony could stop liking you. What happened? Who is he? And, most importantly, do I need to request Twilight to call Princess Celestia to get me out of jail for beating his lusiou...er... heh heh... rear end for doing something untoward?"

Pinkie blinked and pushed back from Rarity, a tiny chuckle escaping as she looked away. "He's my friend. He's always there. Well, not always there.... he leaves the market obviously. But he's always been in Ponyville. He makes all the little fun things happen like the doors and the train tracks and the mailboxes."

"Darling, I'm afraid I don't understand."

"He's one of my oldest friends! But he doesn't like me anymore." Pinkie's frown could have crushed a basket of kittens.... and they would still have tried to cuddle with her to make her smile again.

"Oh Pinkie." Rarity's hug was both warm and tight. "I'm so sorry....whatever did happen?"

"He found out that nopony could see him.... but I saw him watching somepony.... like you were watching him at the market... and that pony wasn't me." Pinkie's mane fell again as her lips began to quiver.

So she DID know him.... wonderfu-.... generosity. Generosity, Rarity.

"Oh Pinkie. It's alright... that doesn't mean he is not your friend or that he doesn't like you. That just means he wants to be friends with somepony else as well. You make friends with ponies all the time."

"R-really?"

"But of course. You said that nopony ever sees him so he's probably quite lonely."

Pinkie seemed to think this over for a moment before, with the squeak of a balloon, her mane fluffed back up, she bounded to her hooves, and she was grinning as wide as ever. "Yooooou're right Rarity! Just because he wants to make new friends, get a new job, stop accepting my gifts, and spends hours every day avoiding me so he can do his own thing, that doesn't mean we can't still be friends! Ooooooh! I'm so happy I could just... I think I'm going to go throw him a party right now!" Pinkie turned to bounce off before stopping and glancing back at Rarity over her shoulder. "Glad to see you're feeling better Rarity, do you still want me to walk you home?"

Taken aback, Rarity blushed again before waving her friend off. "Oh no darling, I'm feeling much better now.... But, what did you say his name was? Minor?"

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! Minor Nuance, but he doesn't like Minor very much because he thinks it makes him sound like a little colt."

"A little co.... That Stallion?!?"

Pinkie nodded again. "I know.... silly right? It's so obvious that he's so totally not a little colt...maybe a big colt or a medium to small Big Mac, but yheah. He likes to be called Nuance. Funny huh?"

Rarity turned that bit of information over in her head a moment before rolling out "Nuance....hmmm....I like the sound of that." She smiled somewhat to herself.

Pinkie, however, spun around and bounced back up to her before leaning in and poking her nose. "Buuuuuuut, you shouldn't be doing that Rarity."

Rarity blinked. "Doing what dear?"

"You shouldn't be thinking that, I can see the notes on the side where it says you were thinking about finding him and asking him out and other stuff that doesn't make much sense."

Rarity's blush was a bit deeper than she'd like to admit. "W-whatev....I mean why ever not?"

"Be-CAUSE, he's already looking at another mare."

"But you said nopony else can even see him."

"Yep, but I don't think you're his type anyway."

Rarity raised a carefully tended eyebrow at that, giving Pinkie an incredulous look. "And what do you mean by that?" Certainly a stallion of his regal elegance could appreciate her pristine coat and upper class refinements.

"Well.... I think he likes pudgy mares!" Pinkie giggled.

"W-what?"

"Well, see, whenever I see him looking at mares, he's always checking out their cutie marks...." Rarity's cool gaze struck Pinkie and bounced off with no apparent damage, "buuuut the only one I ever see him checking is somepony who's not really into sports and who can really put away the pie!"

Rarity blinked at that.... either Pinkie was making an arguably quite dirty insinuation or she was being blatantly straightforward in a manner that only she could pull off and yet remain innocent. History suggested the second, yet the conversation implied a rather sleazy first. "Pinkie, dear, you're not suggesting that he enjoys watching others as they.... ravage.... you I hope." The thought left a bad taste in her mouth having to even voice it, but at this point she couldn't really guess where Pinkie was going.

"No nonononononono silly. I mean, pie! Like apple pie, apple cobbler, cherry apple turnover pie, and all those other yummy things that fill pies up! I mean, I SAW her eat sooooo much that her little tummy tum tum was nearly dragging on the ground and he hasn't stopped watching her since. Well, he helped her out with that too, but I'm pretty sure she didn't even notice."

Rarity couldn't fathom what Pinkie was talking about. She knew almost every pony in Ponyville and couldn't think of even a single mare who fit that description. The closest she could come to were Miss Cheerilee, Mrs. Cake, and Pinkie Pie herself, and not a single one of them fit the description of the mysterious glutton that had apparently caught that stallion's eye.

"Pinkie dear.... let me be direct with you, Who, exactly, do you think he's interested in and why?"

After a moment, Pinkie smiled and chirped "Twilight and because whenever he watches her, his eyes are always staring right at her face with a goofy grin unless he's behind her when he ends up staring at her cutiemark. I mean, sure, I know he likes cutiemarks, did you know he even put Twilight's cutiemark on Fluttershy once? He's so silly."

Rarity gaped at Pinkie for just a moment before regaining her composure. "Well, I suppose I don't quite fill that description after all.... he, he doesn't watch my... cutiemark then?" she asked both a little hopefully and more than a little embarrassed.

Pinkie's response was prompt but more thoughtful than her normal bluntness. "Well, I can't say I've ever seen him watching, but I'm pretty sure he isn't a fan of blue since he only pranks Dashie sometimes, so... maybe?"

Rarity's sigh was the stuff of legends. "Very well, I won't ... pursue him Pinkie Pie, but you really should tell Twilight that she has his eye. It wouldn't be very polite to let that go on without her knowing."

"Yheah, I guess so. Take care Rarity and have some soup to help with that not-fever-blush-thing!" Pinkie bounced off with the grace of a gymnast and the body of a baker.

Rarity grimaced as she considered carefully whether or not an extra salad might be in order, before shaking herself free of the impulse. Gorgeous or not, there could be no compromise when it came to her fabulousity. Sadly, that meant that he may well be, forever, beyond her reach.

Blast it Twilight! And he was such a ... Rarity sighed. Back to the romance novels.

There could be no rest.

After Pinkie Pie had stopped by and told her that she had a secret admirer that had been following her around for nearly three years, Twilight Sparkle had politely, but firmly, asked Pinkie Pie to head on home for the night and had commenced operation Oh-Hell-I-Have-A-Stalker-And-I-Need-To-Stop-Him.

Naming things wasn't her strong suit when under stress.

She had spent the remaining hours of the day rifling through spell book after spell book, placing wards, locking doors, and lighting every single lamp in her library. Spike had been worried initially, but had long since gone to bed after sending a letter to the Princess.

It had only been a few minutes before the response had come, and it had not been terribly reassuring.

"My Dear Twilight, I have watched you for years and can honestly say I have never seen the unicorn you described. Relax and sleep well."

If Celestia hadn't seen him, then he couldn't be real.

But if Pinkie Pie had seen him, he couldn't be a fake.

Celestia, logically, was never wrong.

But Pinkie Pie defied logic.

Therefore, according to science, Celestia was right and yet her stalker unicorn must exist.

She had cast every invisibility detection spell she could find, enchanted the locks, put up a spell bubble, shielded the library, sent a letter to her brother to have him come and shield her room until they could find the stallion (that letter hadn't gone well), and even enchanted her eyes to see things that weren't always there. The things she had seen would have been incredible, were it not for the one thing she hadn't seen.... the stallion Pinkie had described.

She had been so stressed out that she had taken out the pie Applejack had brought over earlier that day and had hidden under her blankets to settle her nerves.

"ug... I ate too much pie." she moaned.

After a few hours, she drifted off to a troubled sleep, completely unaware that the pie pan, the crumbs and even her overstuffed belly disappeared in a faint gray flicker as Nuance strolled by outside, completely unaware of the misunderstanding that had taken place.

"Oh!" he smiled as he saw the library. "Let's replace the design with an actual candle tonight."